Black Girls Heal

Shena Lashey

Healing the Effects of Love Addiction, Love Avoidance, and Unresolved Childhood Trauma

  • 33 minutes 26 seconds
    #277: 3 Ways to Not Move Too Fast in a New Relationship

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into something that many of us struggle with—protecting our individuality when new love enters the picture. You know that excitement when someone new comes into your life and suddenly you want to share every moment with them? Today, we're talking about why that impulse, though natural, needs some healthy boundaries.


    Through my years of coaching women through love addiction recovery, I've discovered three powerful strategies that can help you maintain your identity while building meaningful connections. These aren't just tips —they're practical tools that can transform how you approach new relationships and protect your emotional wellbeing.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 03:46 The importance of slowing down
    • 05:17 Tip 1: Share your joy with friends first
    • 14:52 Tip 2: Set scheduled times and dates
    • 19:46 Tip 3: Hold off on sexual intimacy


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

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    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    28 January 2025, 11:53 am
  • 1 hour 17 minutes
    #276: How I Use Astrology for Love and Healing

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm diving deep into how I personally use astrology as a powerful tool for healing and understanding relationships. As someone who was once skeptical and came from a Christian ministry background, I share how astrology has evolved from being something I dismissed to becoming an invaluable resource in my personal growth and coaching practice.


    Through breaking down the basics of natal charts, planetary placements, and houses, I explain how astrology is far more complex and personalized than just your sun sign. We explore why your exact birth time and location matter, and how different placements in your chart can affect everything from how you communicate to how you experience love.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 02:00 - Breaking down astrological basics 
    • 14:00 - Understanding houses & planetary placements 
    • 31:00 - The importance of birth time & location 
    • 42:00 - Breaking down the four key placements 
    • 54:00 - Venus & love relationships 
    • 01:07:00 - Practical applications in daily life


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    21 January 2025, 11:22 am
  • 43 minutes 57 seconds
    #275: The 7 Levels of Availability for ALL Relationships

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into a game-changing tool that's about to transform how you evaluate potential relationships - the Availability Scale. Drawing from my new book 'How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts,' we're breaking down the seven levels of availability that determine whether someone is truly ready and able to show up in a relationship.


    We're getting practical about how to identify where potential partners fall on the scale, from those who are fully available for deep, meaningful connections (what I call BLP - Best Friend, Lover, Partner availability) to those who present critical dangers to your emotional wellbeing.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 04:26 The Seven Levels of Availability
    • 08:45 Signs of Availability and Unavailability
    • 13:13 Best Friend, Lover, Partner Availability
    • 29:39 Good Friend Level Availability
    • 34:51 Stranger Danger and Other Dangerous Levels


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    14 January 2025, 9:00 am
  • 28 minutes 40 seconds
    #274: 3 Ways to Have the Best Relationships in 2025

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're kicking off 2025 with a powerful conversation about building stronger, healthier relationships - and yes, we're having this talk even through a 103-degree fever because that's how important this message is!


    Whether you're dealing with love addiction, love avoidance, or just want to level up your relationships this year, we're diving into three game-changing strategies that you can start implementing right now. No more waiting for the "perfect time" or the "right moment" - your journey to better relationships starts today.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 01:29 Three ways to improve your relationships
    • 03:20 How to assess availability in relationships
    • 06:03 Stop waiting for the perfect time
    • 14:26 Why you should forgive yourself and allow space for growth
    • 22:49 Be open to changing your mind
    • 26:35 News about upcoming Black Girls Heal events


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    7 January 2025, 9:00 am
  • 29 minutes 58 seconds
    #273: How Fear of Abandonment Affects Your Relationships

    Fear of abandonment can create a lot of insecurity and conflict in a relationship. In this episode, we break down 3 signs to look out for to add to your recovery plan for healing.


    Get the New Book here on Amazon

    Register for the How to Make it Work Between Love Avoidants and Love Addicts Workshop here


    Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance?

    Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled

     

    Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast?

    Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements

     

    CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHERE

    Website: Blackgirlsheal.org

    Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal

    TikTok: @blackgirlsheal

    Facebook: Black Girls Heal

    Website: Blackgirlsheal.org



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    26 December 2024, 11:03 pm
  • 40 minutes 42 seconds
    #272: 3 Green Flags Someone is Available for Love (How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts)

    In this episode, I will go over 3 green flags of availability for healthy partners for love addicts pulling from my new book, How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts.

    Get the New Book here on Amazon

    Register for the How to Make it Work Between Love Avoidants and Love Addicts Workshop here


    Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance?

    Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled

     

    Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast?

    Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements

     

    CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHERE

    Website: Blackgirlsheal.org

    Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal

    TikTok: @blackgirlsheal

    Facebook: Black Girls Heal

    Website: Blackgirlsheal.org



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    18 December 2024, 10:13 pm
  • 40 minutes 15 seconds
    #271: 3 Tips to Deal with Holiday Overwhelm, Stress & Mental Fatigue

    On top of the normal holiday overwhelm, it seems like many of us are dealing with fatigue that we just can't catch a break. In today's episode, I give 3 tips to help support where you are.


    Enroll in the 60 Day Love Avoidant Rehab

     

    Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance?

    Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled

     

    Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast?

    Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements

     

    CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHERE

    Website: Blackgirlsheal.org

    Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal

    TikTok: @blackgirlsheal

    Facebook: Black Girls Heal

    Website: Blackgirlsheal.org



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    12 December 2024, 9:20 pm
  • 47 minutes 27 seconds
    #270: 4 Ways to Tell the Friendship May Be Temporary

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into a topic that often brings up complex emotions - recognizing when friendships might be temporary. You know those relationships that feel so intense and meaningful in the moment, but somehow don't stand the test of time? Let's talk about why that happens and why it might actually be perfectly okay.


    Through sharing personal stories and insights from my upcoming book 'How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts', we're exploring four key ways to understand the natural ebb and flow of friendships. Whether it's bonding over shared interests, connecting through shared trauma, building relationships in forced environments like work or school, or finding yourself in life transitions - each type of friendship serves its own beautiful purpose.


    This isn't about labeling friendships as "less than" because they might be temporary. Instead, we're reframing how we view these connections, understanding that not every friend is meant to be in our lives forever, and that's perfectly okay. From navigating workplace friendships to understanding how religious communities impact our connections, we're getting real about what makes relationships stick or shift.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 03:14 Why temporary friendship exists
    • 04:11 Four signs of temporary friendships
    • 18:16 The complexity of building friendships
    • 34:26 How to navigate transitional friendships
    • 36:57 The importance of clear communication in friendships
    • 44:59 Why you should still embrace temporary friendships
    • 46:17 Upcoming book releases 


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    26 November 2024, 9:00 am
  • 38 minutes 10 seconds
    #269: Navigating Seasons of Relational Conflict (Throwback episode)

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into something all of us face but nobody really wants to talk about - those seasons when it feels like you're in conflict with EVERYONE. You know those times? When it seems like every conversation is tense, every interaction is challenging, and you're starting to wonder if maybe you're the problem?


    First, take a deep breath. Because what if I told you these seasons of conflict aren't here to break you - they're here to build you? What if every misunderstanding, every tough conversation, every moment that makes you want to scream into your pillow is actually an invitation to grow?


    We're getting real about how to take care of yourself when it feels like you're swimming in difficult energy. From dealing with current conflicts to processing unresolved issues from your past, I'm sharing four practical strategies that have helped not just my clients, but myself too, in navigating these stormy seasons.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 01:00 Understanding why seasons of conflict happen
    • 02:52 Opportunities for growth during seasons of conflict
    • 08:14 How to deal with misunderstandings
    • 19:57 Why you should be teachable
    • 25:31 Reflecting on past conflicts


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    19 November 2024, 9:00 am
  • 33 minutes 59 seconds
    #268: 4 Reasons to Be Proud of Yourself

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're taking a moment to celebrate YOU. Yes, you! We're shifting away from our usual conversations about red flags and relationship challenges to focus on something equally important - acknowledging just how far you've come in your healing journey.


    You know those moments when you catch a red flag early? When you trust your gut instead of second-guessing yourself? When you look in the mirror and actually like who you see? Those aren't small wins - they're evidence of your incredible growth, and it's time we celebrate them!


    Through personal stories and real-life examples, we're diving into the beautiful transformation that happens when we start recognizing our own progress. From being able to spot those red flags quicker (instead of six months down the line!), to actually trusting ourselves more than other people's opinions, to developing that genuine self-love that isn't dependent on anyone else's validation - these are all victories worth celebrating.


    This conversation isn't just about patting ourselves on the back - it's about acknowledging that every step forward in our healing journey matters. Whether you're just starting out or you're well along your path, there's something powerful about stopping to recognize how far you've come.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 02:47 Why you should recognize your growth
    • 03:31 Embracing your wisdom
    • 05:13 How to navigate life's challenges
    • 06:30 Understanding self-knowledge
    • 08:26 How to build self-love
    • 09:42 Having faith beyond relationships
    • 19:22 The power of self-liking


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    12 November 2024, 9:00 am
  • 38 minutes 53 seconds
    #267: 3 Ways to Cope When They Don't Care

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're getting real about something that hits deep - what do you do when someone just stops showing up for you emotionally? You know that feeling when their energy shifts, the care fades, and you're left wondering what happened?


    After seeing so many TikTok conversations about love avoidance and no contact, I knew it was time to dive into this topic heart-first. Because let's be honest - whether it's a romantic partner, a friend, or even family, that emotional withdrawal hits different when it comes from someone you truly care about.


    This isn't just another "move on" conversation. We're getting into the nitty-gritty of how to hold onto your worth when someone's actions (or lack thereof) have you questioning everything. I'm sharing three powerful strategies that have helped not just my clients, but myself too, in navigating these tough waters.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 04:31 When you grieve the fantasy of relationships
    • 06:35 Your coping toolkit
    • 08:52 Coping Strategy 1
    • 15:57 Coping Strategy 2
    • 21:46 Coping Strategy 3
    • 35:41 The No-Contact Strategy


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    5 November 2024, 9:00 am
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