Black Girls Heal

Shena Lashey

Healing the Effects of Love Addiction, Love Avoidance, and Unresolved Childhood Trauma

  • 50 minutes 57 seconds
    #283: How to Host a Healing Circle With Friends

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm diving deep into how healing circles can transform your journey through love addiction recovery. After years of coaching women through attachment struggles, I've seen firsthand how creating the right community can accelerate healing in ways individual work simply can't.


    We explore exactly how to build your own healing circle—from finding the right participants to establishing crucial ground rules that create safety for vulnerability. I share practical tips for structuring your meetings, developing a curriculum that promotes real growth, and navigating the inevitable conflicts that arise when people are doing deep healing work together.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 02:35 - The sisterhood effect on healing
    • 03:56 - How to create your own healing circle
    • 09:16 - Setting your healing circle up for success
    • 17:16 - Ground rules for safety
    • 29:13 - Ways to structure your healing circle
    • 34:41 - How to ask and provide for feedback 
    • 45:42 - How to find your circle sisters


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
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    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

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    11 March 2025, 8:00 am
  • 50 minutes 15 seconds
    #282: How to Heal in Community (7 Tips to Make Sisterhood Work)

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm diving deep into something that's essential for our healing journey but often overlooked—the power of sisterhood and community. As someone who's experienced both the isolation of healing alone and the transformative power of healing in community, I'm sharing seven practical tips to help you build and nurture meaningful friendships that support your growth.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 01:00 The importance of community in healing
    • 04:45 Where to find friends
    • 15:41 Why you should invest in friendships
    • 18:24 Challenges in building friendships
    • 26:29 Finding friends with a good track record
    • 32:20 How to handle rejection and ghosting
    • 35:37 Accepting different levels of friendship
    • 42:42 Prioritizing self-care and avoidance to grow your friendships


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    4 March 2025, 9:00 am
  • 47 minutes 24 seconds
    #281: Why You Stay in Relationships When You're Tired

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're having an honest conversation about something that hits deep—why we stay in relationships even when we're completely exhausted. From social media discussions to real-life experiences, we're seeing how women often find themselves caught in cycles of emotional labor and self-improvement, all while trying to make a relationship work that's draining their energy.


    Through my years of coaching women, I've identified the key stages we go through in these relationships: from the initial comfort and commitment, through the stress and burnout, to the moments of clarity that finally lead to change.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 09:14 Stages of relationship commitment
    • 13:35 Stress and burnout in relationships
    • 25:49 Emotional and physical impact of relationships
    • 36:50 Resignation vs. true self-love
    • 45:50 Deep self-forgiveness and trauma work


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    25 February 2025, 9:00 am
  • 49 minutes 48 seconds
    #280: How to Cope When Your Dating Partner Stops Responding (No Contact)

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving deep into something that can shake your whole world—when someone you're dating suddenly goes quiet or starts feeding you breadcrumbs of attention. Whether they're ghosting you completely or keeping you hanging with "I'm just busy" texts, we're getting real about what this behavior actually means.


    Through my years of coaching women through love addiction recovery, I've seen how these disappearing acts can leave us questioning our worth and replaying every moment trying to figure out what we did wrong. Today, I'm breaking down the manipulation tactics some people use to keep you attached, and more importantly, how to recognize them before they drain your energy.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 03:31 Common manipulation tactics
    • 14:24 How to break the self-blame cycle
    • 26:02 Doing the inner work
    • 31:33 How to communicate your needs
    • 39:42 The truth about disappearing acts
    • 43:18 Coping with no contact


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    18 February 2025, 9:00 am
  • 35 minutes 33 seconds
    #279: 4 Steps to Help Yourself Heal & Relationships to Flourish

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm breaking down the complete framework I use with my coaching clients to transform their relationship patterns — the Bloom Method. After years of helping women heal from love addiction, love avoidance, and love deprivation, I've developed this powerful approach that guides you from identifying toxic roots to cultivating lasting change.


    Through my work at the Love Addiction Recovery School, I've seen how this method helps women restore their relationship with themselves and create deeper, more authentic connections with others. Think of it like tending a garden: we start by uprooting what no longer serves you, cultivate fresh soil for new growth, harvest the fruits of your work, and learn how to maintain your flourishing garden.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 00:57 Overview of the Love Addiction Recovery School
    • 03:24 The Bloom Method Explained
    • 06:23 Step 1: Uprooting the Weeds
    • 16:54 Step 2: Cultivating the Ground
    • 25:14 Step 3: Harvesting the Fruits
    • 29:46 Step 4: Tending and Maintaining


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    11 February 2025, 9:00 am
  • 35 minutes 11 seconds
    #278: The First 3 Steps to Heal Love Addiction

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal  podcast, we dive deep into the topic of love addiction and explore the steps to break free from its cycles. Learn about the free downloadable resource “The Five Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction” and discover how to identify and detox from addictive relationships. We also discuss the importance of addressing unresolved childhood wounds and building a supportive network for effective healing. Whether you are dealing with love addiction, love avoidance, or love deprivation, this episode provides invaluable insights and tools to help you achieve a love-balanced life.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 03:53 What is Love Addiction?
    • 06:51 Steps to heal Love Addiction
    • 15:42 Detoxing from addictive relationships
    • 30:24 Why you need to clear toxic roots


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    4 February 2025, 9:00 am
  • 33 minutes 26 seconds
    #277: 3 Ways to Not Move Too Fast in a New Relationship

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into something that many of us struggle with—protecting our individuality when new love enters the picture. You know that excitement when someone new comes into your life and suddenly you want to share every moment with them? Today, we're talking about why that impulse, though natural, needs some healthy boundaries.


    Through my years of coaching women through love addiction recovery, I've discovered three powerful strategies that can help you maintain your identity while building meaningful connections. These aren't just tips —they're practical tools that can transform how you approach new relationships and protect your emotional wellbeing.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 03:46 The importance of slowing down
    • 05:17 Tip 1: Share your joy with friends first
    • 14:52 Tip 2: Set scheduled times and dates
    • 19:46 Tip 3: Hold off on sexual intimacy


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    28 January 2025, 11:53 am
  • 1 hour 17 minutes
    #276: How I Use Astrology for Love and Healing

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm diving deep into how I personally use astrology as a powerful tool for healing and understanding relationships. As someone who was once skeptical and came from a Christian ministry background, I share how astrology has evolved from being something I dismissed to becoming an invaluable resource in my personal growth and coaching practice.


    Through breaking down the basics of natal charts, planetary placements, and houses, I explain how astrology is far more complex and personalized than just your sun sign. We explore why your exact birth time and location matter, and how different placements in your chart can affect everything from how you communicate to how you experience love.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 02:00 - Breaking down astrological basics 
    • 14:00 - Understanding houses & planetary placements 
    • 31:00 - The importance of birth time & location 
    • 42:00 - Breaking down the four key placements 
    • 54:00 - Venus & love relationships 
    • 01:07:00 - Practical applications in daily life


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    21 January 2025, 11:22 am
  • 43 minutes 57 seconds
    #275: The 7 Levels of Availability for ALL Relationships

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into a game-changing tool that's about to transform how you evaluate potential relationships - the Availability Scale. Drawing from my new book 'How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts,' we're breaking down the seven levels of availability that determine whether someone is truly ready and able to show up in a relationship.


    We're getting practical about how to identify where potential partners fall on the scale, from those who are fully available for deep, meaningful connections (what I call BLP - Best Friend, Lover, Partner availability) to those who present critical dangers to your emotional wellbeing.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 04:26 The Seven Levels of Availability
    • 08:45 Signs of Availability and Unavailability
    • 13:13 Best Friend, Lover, Partner Availability
    • 29:39 Good Friend Level Availability
    • 34:51 Stranger Danger and Other Dangerous Levels


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    14 January 2025, 9:00 am
  • 28 minutes 40 seconds
    #274: 3 Ways to Have the Best Relationships in 2025

    In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're kicking off 2025 with a powerful conversation about building stronger, healthier relationships - and yes, we're having this talk even through a 103-degree fever because that's how important this message is!


    Whether you're dealing with love addiction, love avoidance, or just want to level up your relationships this year, we're diving into three game-changing strategies that you can start implementing right now. No more waiting for the "perfect time" or the "right moment" - your journey to better relationships starts today.


    In this episode, we cover…

    • 01:29 Three ways to improve your relationships
    • 03:20 How to assess availability in relationships
    • 06:03 Stop waiting for the perfect time
    • 14:26 Why you should forgive yourself and allow space for growth
    • 22:49 Be open to changing your mind
    • 26:35 News about upcoming Black Girls Heal events


    Resources mentioned in the episode:


    Connect with us:


    Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    7 January 2025, 9:00 am
  • 29 minutes 58 seconds
    #273: How Fear of Abandonment Affects Your Relationships

    Fear of abandonment can create a lot of insecurity and conflict in a relationship. In this episode, we break down 3 signs to look out for to add to your recovery plan for healing.


    Get the New Book here on Amazon

    Register for the How to Make it Work Between Love Avoidants and Love Addicts Workshop here


    Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance?

    Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled

     

    Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast?

    Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements

     

    CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHERE

    Website: Blackgirlsheal.org

    Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal

    TikTok: @blackgirlsheal

    Facebook: Black Girls Heal

    Website: Blackgirlsheal.org



    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


    Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

    Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
    26 December 2024, 11:03 pm
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