You Have Permission

Dan Koch

So many of us have been given bad answers to good…

  • 1 hour 2 minutes
    Stoicism, Virtues & Founding Fathers (#314)

    In this episode, Dan sits down with legal scholar and author Jeffrey Rosen to discuss his book The Pursuit of Happiness: How Classical Writers on Virtue Inspired the Lives of the Founders and Defined America. Starting from Rosen's background as a secular Jew who studied Puritan theology at Harvard, the conversation weaves through classical virtues and their relevance today to the American founders' surprisingly ecumenical approach to religion and morality. They explore the tension between Christian concepts of perfect holiness and classical virtue ethics' focus on finding the golden mean, with Rosen even sharing a song he wrote to help remember Aristotle's virtue framework. The discussion reveals how the founders were more interested in finding common ground between different wisdom traditions than enforcing rigid doctrine, leading to insights about religious freedom and the First Amendment. Throughout, they examine how ancient ideas about self-mastery and virtue remain relevant for navigating our modern pluralistic world, with practical applications from Benjamin Franklin's virtue journaling as well as contemporary approaches to living well.


    Highlights

    19:56 The Power of the Mind and Self-Mastery

    27:35 Exploring Classical Virtues

    34:17 The Golden Mean and Emotional Moderation

    47:04 Navigating Pluralism and Moral Flexibility

    52:23 The Founders' Vision of Virtue and Freedom


    Jeffery's New Book | The Pursuit of Happiness: How Classical Writers on Virtue Inspired the Lives of the Founders and Defined


    Jeffery on X | @Rosenjeffrey


    Books Mentioned:

    My Voice Will Go With You

    ___________________________________________

    Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

    Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

    Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

    Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

    Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

    Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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    Artwork by sprungle.co/

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    10 March 2025, 12:00 pm
  • 1 hour 38 minutes
    Still Christian, Still Hardcore (#313)

    In this episode, I talk with Stephen Keech, frontman of metalcore band Haste the Day, about maintaining Christian faith in a scene where many have moved away from religious identification. Stephen shares his journey from rigid evangelical beliefs to a more nuanced, "malleable" faith that has allowed him to adapt while keeping his core convictions. We explore why Christian bands thrived in heavy music (the natural synergy between spiritual warfare themes and metal's intensity), the market forces that initially pushed bands to identify as "Christian," and the judgmental culture that drove many artists away. Stephen discusses his transformative encounters that challenged his inherited viewpoints, his shift toward Eastern Orthodox theology, and how fatherhood redefined his purpose after leaving the "ministry platform" of being in a Christian band. Throughout, we examine what it means to be "Christ-like" in today's polarized world while acknowledging the complexity of maintaining faith in creative spaces increasingly skeptical of Christianity.


    Stephen's Website | Stephenkeech.com


    Stephen on Instagram | @stephenkeech


    Episode Mentioned:

    Episode #118 | I Don't Believe in that God: Joey Holman

    Episode #139 | Christian Heavy Music: Theology, Attachment, Power


    Highlights:

    02:58 The Evolution of Christian Metalcore

    11:52 The Tension Between Faith and Performance

    23:57 The Malleability of Faith

    51:00 Experiential Faith: Tent Poles vs. Picket Fences

    01:09:48 The Moral Dilemma of Modern Christianity

    ___________________________________________

    Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

    Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

    Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

    Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

    Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

    Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

    YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

    Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html

    Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

    Artwork by sprungle.co/

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    3 March 2025, 1:00 pm
  • 44 minutes 55 seconds
    “Woo” Spirituality & Comedy (#312)

    Comedian Jenny Zigrino joins me to discuss comedy and mystical spirituality. Drawing from her background in Reform Judaism and early exposure to yoga, Jenny articulated how she combines traditional religious practices with what she calls "woo" elements like moon rituals and meditation. We discussed the relationship between scientific and spiritual frameworks, with Jenny making interesting arguments about celestial influences on human behavior and challenging my skepticism about astrology with observations about the moon's documented effects on Earth. The conversation took a more personal turn when she shared about her sister's passing, leading to thoughtful reflections on how people use spiritual frameworks to process loss and find meaning in tragedy.


    The Patron-only second half of our conversation centered on a detailed exploration of tarot cards, including a live reading for my podcast's future, as well as a broader philosophical discussion about consciousness, death, and the limits of human knowledge.


    Highlights:

    08:48 Exploring Reform Judaism and Spiritual Practices

    14:45 Understanding Tarot and Its Therapeutic Value

    19:02 The Influence of Religion on Personal Beliefs

    26:13 The Nature of God and Suffering


    Jenny's Website | Jennyzigrino.com

    ___________________________________________

    Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

    Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

    Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

    Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

    Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

    Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

    YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

    Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html

    Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

    Artwork by sprungle.co/

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    24 February 2025, 1:00 pm
  • 1 hour 6 minutes
    Religion & Sports (Gods and GOATS) (#311)

    In this third appearance on You Have Permission, Dr. Terry Shoemaker of Arizona State University joins me to discuss the parallels between religion and sports as described in his new book Religion and Sports: The Basics. We look at four key parallels between religious and athletic life: rituals, devotions, identities, and communities. From early morning Arsenal fan gatherings to how families connect through college football despite tense religious differences, we unpack how sports can serve many of the same social and psychological functions as traditional religion — often with lower stakes. With the similarities of how sports and religion both create calendrical rhythms, foster community bonds, create transcendent experiences, and require devotion, sports offer unique opportunities for connection across ideological divides.


    Highlights

    05:49 Rituals in Sports and Religion

    11:49 The Role of Identity in Sports Fandom

    28:45 The Power of Community in Sports

    42:12 Devotion: Sports as a Modern Religion


    Terry's Book on Sports | Religions and Sports: The Basics

    Terry's Faculty Page

    Terry's Amazon Book Page


    Dan's Substack Piece | In Defense of Sports


    Past Episodes with Terry:

    To Escape "Culture War Christianity" (#16)

    Who Are the "Spiritual But Not Religious"? (#82)

    ___________________________________________

    Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

    Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

    Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

    Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

    Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

    Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

    YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

    Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html

    Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

    Artwork by sprungle.co/

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    17 February 2025, 1:00 pm
  • 43 minutes 5 seconds
    The (Spiritual) World is Not Fair (#310)

    In this episode, philosopher Michelle Panchuk joins me to discuss the "just world hypothesis" — the belief that people get what they deserve in life, similar to karma. Michelle, whose early scholarly work on spiritual abuse helped inform my own research on measuring spiritual abuse, shares how the just world hypothesis can subtly infiltrate spiritual teachings with the belief that God will always offer a sense of His presence during difficult times — implying that those who don't feel God's presence must be spiritually deficient.


    This creates what Michelle calls a "spiritual version" of the just world hypothesis, adding layers of shame and self-doubt to existing suffering. Particularly harmful for survivors of spiritual abuse, this belief contradicts historical accounts of devoted believers experiencing spiritual darkness. 


    In the patron-only second half, we explore the neurobiology of spiritual experience and how spiritual abuse impacts both religious practice and critical thinking.

    Michelle's Faculty Page


    Highlights

    02:53 The Just World Hypothesis Explained

    08:57 God's Silence and Spiritual Relationship

    17:46 The Uneven Distribution of Spiritual Experiences

    ___________________________________________

    Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

    Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

    Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

    Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

    Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

    Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

    YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

    Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html

    Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

    Artwork by sprungle.co/

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    10 February 2025, 1:00 pm
  • 1 hour 4 minutes
    All About Narcissism (#309)

    In this episode, I sat down with Chuck DeGroat, known for his work on narcissism in church contexts, for a wide-ranging conversation about the intersection of narcissistic patterns and religious communities. Chuck shared insights from his clinical experience about how narcissism often emerges as a trauma response and explained the crucial distinction between narcissistic tendencies and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. We explored how narcissistic leadership patterns can manifest across the theological spectrum, from conservative to progressive spaces, and how congregations adopt collective defensive postures that both attract and reinforce narcissistic leadership styles. Using Mars Hill Church as a case study, we examined how an "at war with culture" mentality can drive church growth while simultaneously undermining empathy and authentic community engagement. The conversation concluded with a rich exploration of psychological and theological integration, drawing parallels between Internal Family Systems therapy and how different religious traditions handle internal contradictions. This discussion proved so fruitful that we've planned a follow-up episode focusing specifically on spiritual harm and abuse, which will be available to Patreon subscribers.


    Chucks Website | Chuckdegroat.net


    Episodes Mentioned:

    Episode #187 with Molly Lacroix | Un-Shaming Each Part of Ourselves


    Highlights:

    11:20 Narcissism in Church Communities

    24:33 Theological Connections Between Empathy and Narcissism

    32:34 Narcissism and Church Dynamics

    43:30 Spiritual Abuse and Community Dynamics

    50:35 Integration and Multiplicity in Spirituality

    ___________________________________________

    Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

    Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

    Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

    Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

    Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

    Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

    YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

    Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html

    Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

    Artwork by sprungle.co/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    3 February 2025, 1:00 pm
  • 48 minutes 27 seconds
    GGCH: Best of 2024 & Celebrities Getting Christ-curious (#308)

    It’s time for another Generation Gap Culture Hour where I sit down with Josh Gilbert and Tony Jones to talk about current culture from across our 20-year age perspectives.

    In today’s episode we talk about:

    • How bands I toured with on the Warped Tour are now featuring at venues reserved for “legacy acts.” 👀
    • Band merchandise etiquette, including one very cringe story from Tony
    • Current events including Trump’s presidency and the TikTok ban
    • The absurdity of long URLs in podcast advertising
    • Institutions and outdated social media practices
    • Our favorite media of 2024: books about burnout culture, Korean War fighter pilots, and the fall of the Roman Empire


    In the patron-only second half, we get more in-depth discussing Joe Rogan's recent interactions with Christian figures, and examining the intersection of apologetics, early Christian history, and religious experience.


    Highlights:

    05:45 Political Concerns and TikTok Ban Discussions

    14:47 Dude Lit, Books, Movies & TV Shows of the Year

    23:53 Joe Rogan's Cultural Impact and Christianity


    Best of Book:

    Byung-Chul Han: A Critical Introduction (Josh)

    The Hunters by James Salter (Dan)

    We Were Soldiers Once... and Young (Tony)


    Best of Series/TV Show:

    Ripley (Dan)

    Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey (Tony)

    Presumed Innocent (Josh)


    Best of Movie:

    A Complete Unknown (Dan)

    Dune 2 (Tony)

    We Live in Time (Josh)


    Dan's Year End Mixes:

    Rock - Spotify

    Rock - Apple Music

    Pop - Spotify

    Pop- Apple Music


    ___________________________________________

    Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

    Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

    Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

    Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

    Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

    Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

    YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

    Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html

    Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

    Artwork by sprungle.co/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    27 January 2025, 1:00 pm
  • 54 minutes 9 seconds
    Disability, the Beatitudes & “Changing the World” (#307)

    I sat down with Micha Boyett, author of Blessed Are the Rest of Us and host of The Slow Way podcast, to explore the tension between millennial evangelical dreams and the realities of modern parenthood. We dove into how our generation's almost cinematic vision of "changing the world" manifested through movements like Invisible Children, Shane Claiborne's work, and TOMS Shoes – a fascinating confluence of entrepreneurship and world-saving ambitions. Micha shared her journey from being a 13-year-old Southern Baptist girl with limited ministry options to navigating suburban motherhood and raising a child with both Down syndrome and autism. We discussed how her experience has transformed her understanding of meaning, purpose, and what it means to live a life of impact. 


    In the Patron-only second half, our conversation deepens into questions of disability, human value, and finding new meaning in the Beatitudes.


    Micha's Instagram | @michaboyett

    Ace's Instagram | @acefaceismyfriend


    Highlights:

    04:54 Generational Expectations and Identity

    20:13 The Complexity of Disability in Society

    30:04 Anxiety and Parenting Challenges


    ___________________________________________

    Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

    Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

    Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

    Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

    Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

    Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

    YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

    Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html

    Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

    Artwork by sprungle.co/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    20 January 2025, 1:00 pm
  • 1 hour 2 minutes
    Dan is Getting Libertarian-Curious (#306)

    In this timely conversation with returning guest Bonnie Kristian, we explore libertarianism and its evolving role in today's political landscape. Moving beyond the dated "socially liberal, fiscally conservative" cliché, we discuss how true libertarianism centers on skepticism of government power, while distinguishing it from a newer "folk libertarianism" emerging among younger Americans. Bonnie helps clarify how traditional libertarians focus specifically on limiting state power and coercion, whereas this new wave represents more of a cultural backlash against elite institutions. Through our discussion of government intervention, institutional trust, and policy, we explore the challenge of maintaining necessary social structures while remaining appropriately skeptical of institutional overreach. This conversation illuminates why different forms of libertarian thinking are resonating with many Americans today, while helping me better understand my own evolving thoughts on these complex issues.


    Highlights

    03:28 Understanding Libertarian Identity

    09:59 Election Results and Libertarian Impulses

    18:43 Therapy, Psychology, and Libertarianism

    25:18 Resource Distribution and the Veil of Ignorance

    35:30 Trust in Institutions vs. Individual Thinkers


    Bonnie's Substack | Bonniekristian.substack.com


    Previous YHP Episodes with Bonnie:

    Episode 21 | To Consider Inerrancy, Infallibility & Inspiration


    ___________________________________________

    Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

    Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

    Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

    Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

    Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

    Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

    YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

    Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html

    Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

    Artwork by sprungle.co/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    13 January 2025, 1:00 pm
  • 1 hour 16 minutes
    “Is It True?” vs. “Does It Work?” (#305)

    Turn your brains on for a fascinating conversation with scholar and author Tara Isabella Burton (Self Made, Strange Rites, Social Creature) about one of the core tensions in modern spirituality: does it matter more if a religious or spiritual practice works, or if it's true? Drawing from my experience as a therapist and Tara's background in theology, we explore how this plays out in everything from manifesting culture to ancient religious practices. I share my more pragmatic perspective, focused on what actually helps people in therapeutic settings, while Tara makes a compelling case for why we can't separate spiritual practices from their truth claims. We dig into the placebo effect, positive thinking, the limits of pure pragmatism, and whether spiritual practices might "work" precisely because they align with deeper truths about reality. It's a nuanced discussion that challenges both pure pragmatism and rigid orthodoxy, suggesting these seemingly opposing views might actually complement each other in surprising ways.


    Tara's New Book | Here in Avalon


    Tara's Website | Taraisabellaburton.com


    Highlights

    12:10 Modern Spirituality and Individualism

    21:05 The Intersection of Faith and Truth

    30:12 Pragmatism in Therapy and Spirituality

    45:03 The Pursuit of Happiness and Material Success

    01:07:10 Exploring the Tension Between Ancient and Modern Wisdom

    ___________________________________________

    Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

    Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

    Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

    Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

    Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

    Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

    YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

    Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html

    Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

    Artwork by sprungle.co/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    6 January 2025, 1:00 pm
  • 1 hour 35 minutes
    Religion, Humor & Therapy (#304)

    Spencer Bland joins me to discuss his journey through various Christian denominations as a southern-based comedian who now takes a more open-ended approach to spirituality. We explore how he uses his religious background as source material for his comedy, including a hilarious story about a demon named Kyle, while maintaining a thoughtful and nuanced perspective that honors personal experience rather than broad critique. Our discussion brings up the parallels between comedy and therapy as tools for processing religious experiences and how humor can help acknowledge both the absurdity and significance of our past. 


    Spencer's Instagram | @spencerspicy


    Highlights

    08:57 The Role of Humor in Religion

    17:49 The Intersection of Comedy and Religion

    31:02 From Pastor to Comedian

    54:54 Healing from Religious Trauma

    01:10:07 Reflections on Mission Trips and Cultural Christianity


    ___________________________________________

    Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

    Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

    Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

    Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

    Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

    Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

    YHP Patron-only FB group: tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98

    Website: www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html

    Join Dan's email list: www.dankochwords.com/

    Artwork by sprungle.co/

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    30 December 2024, 1:00 pm
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