Over breakfast in San Diego, I sat down with returning guest Kristen Tideman to analyze the 2024 presidential election through fresh eyes. Drawing from a 15-speaker mega-panel Kristen had just attended at the American Academy of Religion conference, we explored several alternative frameworks for understanding the election results. We discussed the concept of "vibes-based voting" using David French's curling analogy, which suggests voter sentiment (like a curling stone) can only be marginally influenced by campaigns. This led us to examine how feelings about the economy, nostalgia, and desire for change played a bigger role than explicit policy positions. We challenged the prevailing white Christian nationalism narrative by looking at immigrant voting patterns, and explored Trump's appeal as an "avatar of hope" for voters frustrated with cultural constraints. In the Patron-only second half, we delved into identity politics, anti-elite sentiment, and potential voting reforms. While more political coverage surely lies ahead, this conversation helped foster greater understanding of how we arrived at these results.

Kristen's Company Website | tidycocreative.com

Highlights

04:20 The Impact of Politics on Daily Life

09:42 What is “Vibes-Based Voting?”

16:10 Beyond White Christian Nationalism

25:14 Trump as an Avatar of Hope

34:11 The Role of Identity in Politics

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

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In this episode, I speak with Kristian Smith, a fifth-generation Baptist preacher doing groundbreaking work at the intersection of Black church traditions and progressive theology. While many white religious deconstruction journeys (including my own) focus primarily on intellectual and theological questions, Kristian explains how Black church deconstruction involves much deeper communal and embodied dimensions. The Black church has historically served as more than just a religious institution—it's been the heart of Black community life and one of the few spaces where Black Americans could gather with true autonomy. Kristian offers a fascinating framework that separates spirituality from theology, arguing that while Black church spirituality (including its emotional expressiveness, music, and communal experience) has direct links to African spiritual traditions, its theology was largely borrowed from white evangelicalism. His work focuses on preserving these life-giving cultural and spiritual elements while developing new theological frameworks that better serve people's full humanity. Our conversation opened my eyes to the unique dynamics within Black Christian communities and the diverse ways people experience faith transitions, particularly when religious identity is deeply intertwined with cultural preservation and community belonging.

Kristian's Instagram | @kristiansmith

Kristian's Podcast | Holy Smokes: Cigars and Spirituality

Highlights

09:05 The Emotional Weight of Leaving the Black Church

18:06 The Disconnect Between Black and White Deconstruction Spaces

30:00 Progressive Theology and the Black Church

44:56 The Vision for a Progressive Black Church

52:36 Navigating Leadership Dynamics in Multicultural Spaces

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Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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Jon Ogden, co-founder of Uplift Kids, joined me to talk about navigating spiritual parenting in ways that prevent religious trauma. As a father of two young children, and someone who frequently references Dr. Lisa Miller's research on child spirituality and mental health, I was particularly interested in Uplift's approach. Jon explained their model of combining internal guidance with modern science and ancient wisdom from a variety of traditions, moving beyond simplistic "follow your heart" messaging. We explored how parents can't simply transfer their mature spiritual understanding to children, who must undergo their own developmental journey. I found their developmentally-appropriate framework promising for helping children build a foundation that can withstand future questioning without causing a spiritual crisis. Our patron-only segment covered post-secularism, concerning trends in youth meaninglessness, and the importance of balanced virtue ethics.

Want to try Uplift for your family? Join here to get a two-week trial and use code PERMISSION to let them know I sent you.

Highlights:

02:59 The Role of Spirituality in Child Development

12:00 The Process of Spiritual Development

18:13 The Inner Compass: Guiding Children in Life

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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For our 300th episode, Josh, Tony and I get together for another Generation Gap Culture Hour. We reflect on our recent Beer Camp adventures (including an unexpected AirBnb mystery guest) before diving into cultural analysis of the Tyson-Paul fight and our changing relationships with political media consumption. We explore how each of us is processing post-election coverage differently — from my focus on constructive analysis to Josh abandoning his NPR habits to Tony's insights from conversations with his adult children. The discussion highlights the privilege of academic distance while examining how to balance staying informed with mental health. The Patron-only second half includes deeper dives into progressive Christianity, academic discourse, and Joe Rogan's shifting stance on spirituality.

Highlights:

06:14 Would You Rather: Podcasting Dilemmas

14:56 Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul: A Cultural Commentary

20:52 Concluding Thoughts and Future Directions

38:50 Political Perspectives and Siloed Views

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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Writer Sarah Southern joins me to share her deconstruction journey from fundamentalism to freedom. Sarah shares how her initial process was paralyzed by the infinite stakes of questioning faith, until wonder—particularly through Colorado's mountains—offered an unexpected path forward. Drawing on Abraham Heschel's wisdom about wonder as the foundation of religious experience, Sarah found that direct encounters with natural beauty provided a way to remain spiritually engaged while processing religious trauma. Rather than requiring doctrinal certainty, this approach created space for authentic exploration through direct experience of the sacred. For Patrons, our conversation continues with Sarah's travels to Salzburg and Japan, exploring how different cultural and religious traditions can expand our spiritual horizons even further.

Sarah's Instagram | sarahbsouthern

Sarah's Substack | @sarahsouthern

Sarah's Article | Embracing Violence

Highlights:

02:01 Navigating Deconstruction and Crises of Belief

05:50 The Impact of Fear and Violence in Faith

10:05 Cultural Evolution and Human Connection

15:55 Traveling Through Faith and Diversity

22:07 The Balance of Wonder and Fear in Faith

25:58 Finding Beauty in New Landscapes

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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We're back with another comedian episode of YHP, this time featuring Tom Fell, whose brilliant social media videos skewer corporate speak and existential themes with painful accuracy. Our conversation centers on psychedelics and consciousness, where Tom demonstrates what I'd call "materialist wonder" - particularly in his story about encountering a whale shortly after taking mushrooms. Rather than viewing it through a supernatural or New Age lens, Tom finds deeper meaning in understanding the scientific factors that make this coincidence possible. This approach, which sees wonder in natural causes rather than divine intervention, reflects the same balance found in his comedy: a critical yet playful perspective that serves as a pressure release valve for processing life's profound and absurd aspects. And yes, we laugh a lot!

Tom's Linktree | linktr.ee/tomfell

Highlights:

09:11 Truth in Comedy: The Power of Humor

29:58 Existential Themes in Comedy

42:16 Navigating Drug Culture and Personal Choices

53:18 The Intersection of Science and Spirituality

01:05:10 Spirituality Beyond Religion: Personal Revelations

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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The You Have Permission team of Dan Koch, Josh Gilbert and Joy Vetterlein sit down to process the election a day later. Dan puts on his therapy hat and offers some general coping mechanisms and how to deal with the catastrophizing thoughts blue voters might have around a Trump presidency. We also discuss listener comments and questions, and talk through what we’re learning and taking away from the experience. Listen if you could use some friends to process with and find a bit of hope, but skip this one if you’re looking for detailed political analysis or if you just need to stay in your anger a little longer.

Sharon McMahon's Podcast | Here's Where It Gets Interesting

Robert Wright's Election Video | Nervous About the Election? Watch This.

The NonZero Substack | NonZero Newsletter

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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Take a break from election coverage and enjoy this thoughtful conversation with Brandan Robertson, a pastor in Queens, NY, about "Christian agnosticism" and navigating faith with intellectual honesty. We explore how embracing uncertainty about religious claims can actually deepen rather than diminish faith, moving beyond the rigid certainty of our evangelical backgrounds toward a more nuanced approach. We share our experiences of finding value in Christian traditions while holding space for doubt, and discuss how this approach resonates with both religious and non-religious people alike. The conversation expands to cover selective Christianity, religious commitment, trends in progressive faith communities, and even Joel Osteen's effective use of simple religious messaging. It’s a refreshing perspective on how faith can remain relevant and authentic in an increasingly complex world!

Brandon's Website | brandanrobertson.com

Highlights:

02:43 Christian Agnosticism: Embracing Mystery and Wonder

25:51 The Limits of Human Knowledge and Religious Pragmatism

33:08 The Tension Between Deconstruction and Faith

54:11 Challenges in Building Lasting Change in Progressive Religious Movements

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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Today I'm joined by frequent podcast collaborators Josh Gilbert and Kristen Tideman to discuss "The Iron Claw" (2023), a film that chronicles the tragic story of the Von Erich wrestling family during the territorial wrestling era of the 1980s. At its core, the film explores how patriarch Fritz Von Erich projects his unrealized wrestling ambitions onto his sons through conditional love and emotional suppression while his sons form intense bonds supporting each other through their shared pursuit of wrestling excellence. We share our personal reactions to the film's heavy themes and explore our own boundaries with difficult content. For our Patron-only segment, we dive deep into the film's haunting afterlife scene, leading to vulnerable conversations about faith, mortality, family tragedy, and questions of legacy. I even talk about crying! Like all impactful films, "The Iron Claw" opened up avenues of conversation we might not have reached otherwise, revealing how this portrait of a family trapped in cycles of ambition, loyalty, and tragedy resonates with our own experiences.

Highlights:

12:40 Personal Reflections on Film and Emotional Impact

20:05 The Intersection of Film and Personal Experience

30:12 The Movie Method: A Therapeutic Approach to Film

Movie | The Iron Claw

Episode with Jenny Hamelton | Using Movies in Therapy (#265)

Jenny's Website | jennyhamiltoncounselling.wordpress.com

The Movies Could Be Good For You Article | https://theconversation.com/watching-movies-could-be-good-for-your-mental-health-214325

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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Join Dan Koch and Joy Vetterlein for another "After Hours" episode of You Have Permission as they dive into Netflix's hit series "Nobody Wants This." While a rom-com might seem like an unexpected choice for YHP, this show about an agnostic podcaster (Kristen Bell) falling for a progressive rabbi (Adam Brody) offers surprisingly rich material for exploring faith, doubt, and relationships. Dan and Joy unpack several fascinating themes from the first episode: the Jewish approach to wrestling with religious uncertainty, refreshingly honest relationship dynamics that buck typical rom-com tropes, the complex dynamics of religious authority and spiritual interpretation, and thoughtful discussion of how Jewish audiences are receiving the show's cultural portrayal. While lighter than our usual fare, this episode demonstrates how pop culture can open doors to deeper conversations about faith, psychology, and human connection. Let us know if you'd like to see more episodes in this casual evening format and/or more discussion of current shows and movies!

Highlights

15:05 Cultural Reflections on Judaism and Christianity

19:58 Faith, Doubt, and Spirituality in Relationships

30:12 Attachment Theory and Relationship Patterns

52:47 Cultural Stereotypes in Relationships

01:02:14 Near-Death Experiences and Life Changes

Joy's Website | joyvetterlein.com

The Attachment-Based Romance Video Dan Mentions | Why We Pick Difficult Partners

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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Therapists Hillary McBride and Preston Hill joined me discussing their Spiritual First Responders Project and the complexities of religious trauma. We explored how religious trauma uniquely impacts one's sense of meaning and community, often occurring over extended periods and becoming deeply ingrained in a person's worldview. Hillary highlighted how religious environments can inadvertently reinforce traumatic experiences, while Preston offered theological insights on how certain concepts can create conditions for spiritual abuse. We delved into their innovative project, which provides support groups for individuals renegotiating their spiritual identities. As a fellow practitioner in this field, I'm excited about their work and its potential impact.

Highlights

12:56 Understanding Complex Religious Trauma

24:08 Moral Gaslighting and Spiritual Helplessness

30:16 Cognitive vs. Embodied Therapy

34:35 Spiritual First Responders Project Overview

43:33 Creating Healing Spaces

Spiritual First Responder's Project | sfrproject.org

Hillary's Website | hillarylmcbride.com

Hillary's New Book | Practices for Embodied Living

Preston's Website | drprestonhill.com

Dan's New Substack | Religion on the Mind

The Spiritual First Responders Project is a research initiative on mental health and spiritual meaning-making for those experiencing faith deconstruction. We offer spiritual process groups led by licensed mental health professionals for those who are deconstructing or have experienced church hurt. The project is not religiously affiliated or sponsored by any church. Our only goal is to support you in your mental and spiritual health. For more information and to get involved, visit sfrproject.org or email us directly at [email protected].

**This is a research study and participants will be asked to complete surveys before and after the process group experience.

___________________________________________

Follow Dan on IG: www.instagram.com/dancoke/

Or Twitter: twitter.com/DanKoch

Faith deconstruction resources: www.soyouredeconstructing.com/

Edited by Josh Gilbert (joshgilbertmedia.com -- he is accepting more work!)

Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: patreon.com/dankoch

Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: [email protected]

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