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Belonging: Conversations about rites of passage, meaningful community, and seasonal living

Becca Piastrelli

Welcome to Belonging, a podcast that explores being alive in the age of loneliness. Becca Piastrelli is your host and guide on a journey of courageous reconnection as we explore topics like rites of passage, cultivating meaningful community, seasonal and cyclical living, and what it means to be a good ancestor in these times. She has thought provoking conversations with friends, teachers, elders, and ancestral medicine keepers to help support you in bringing more meaning and connection to your life. She also pops in here and there to share updates and learnings from her own story because we were meant to do this together - cosmically holding hands as we walk the spiral of life.You can expect to be challenged by new (or old) ideas, face your beliefs and what systems informed them, get curious and brave to tell the truth about the deeper, harder things, and feel comforted in the knowing that you don’t have to navigate it all alone.

  • 56 minutes 53 seconds
    Reclaiming Motherhood As A Rite Of Passage With Jessie Harrold

    In today’s episode, I am joined by Jessie Harrold, a coach, doula and author of ‘Mothershift: Reclaiming Motherhood as a Rite of Passage’. A couple of years ago, I followed Jessie’s course by the same name and it held me deeply in the depths of my postpartum identity shift. This conversation dives deep in the process of matrescence, the part community plays in this and how, as mothers, we can learn to become recipients of care in ways we don’t always see portrayed online.

    Tune in to hear more from us on:

    • The concept of Mothershift and how to navigate this identity shift postpartum
    • Community as the mother power and how motherhood is shifting people away from hyper individualism
    • What it means for us to be reproductively hyperburdened as humans
    • Menopause and the grandmother hypothesis
    • Postpartum depression and experiencing maternal rage
    • Experiencing a nourishment barrier in receiving care and support and the myth of being perfectly resourced
    • Performing vulnerability on social media
    • The impact of having a baby on relationships and how heteronormativity plays a role in this

    Resources + Links

    Timestamps

    [0:00] The Mothershift and Matrescence

    [16:14] Navigating Postpartum Emotions: Rage and Acceptance

    [19:10] Social Media's Role in Motherhood Narratives

    [20:11] Cultural Expectations and the Reality of Motherhood

    [30:37] The Importance of Community in Motherhood

    [44:42] Navigating Under-Resourced Care & The Nourishment Barrier

    [50:10] The Impact of Parenthood on Relationships

    12 November 2024, 5:00 am
  • 49 minutes 34 seconds
    The Sharing Table with Stevie Storck

    In today’s episode, I am joined by Stevie Storck, founder of the Cross Quarter Club, a creative seasonal living community focused on gardening and nature connection. When Stevie and I first connected through my circle facilitation training Circle Craft, she introduced me to the concept of the Sharing Table, a tradition that encourages community members to share resources and foster connections. We both share our experiences with this meaningful way of community building and also explore what it means to right-size creative ambitions to fit personal responsibilities.

    Tune in to hear more from us on:

    • The origins of the Cross Quarter Club and the Sharing Table
    • Weaving ancestral traditions into modern communities
    • How the Sharing Table reflects a larger movement towards community care
    • How creating community involves being the kind of community you want to see
    • How embracing the reality of caregiving can inform and enrich creative work
    • The challenges we, as millennials, face when it comes to cultivating community
    • How right-sizing creative work is crucial for sustainability and fulfillment
    • How simplicity and being limited in time and resources can enhance creative endeavours

    Stevie is an alumni of Circle Craft, my circle facilitation training, which as of now is available on demand. If you want to bring your vision of circling and facilitation to life and would like me to walk alongside you in that process, visit my website to learn more and join Circle Craft today.

    Resources + Links

    Timestamps

    [00:00] Introduction to Cross Quarter Club and Community Building

    [12:50] The Sharing Table: Origins, Intentions and Experiences

    [26:58] Reviving Ancestral Traditions in Modern Communities

    [34:17] Evolving Plans for Cross Quarter Club

    [41:13] Navigating Burnout and Creative Ambitions

    [43:58] Right-Sizing Creative Work and Responsibilities

    21 October 2024, 4:00 am
  • 57 minutes 1 second
    “I Became Allergic To My Computer”- A Conversation On Land & Community With Sarah Wildeman

    Immersing myself deeply in the season of Summer here on the East coast has meant that I went on a little hiatus when it comes to sharing about my journey with moving my whole family across the country, purchasing land, learning farming, building community, and everything else. So, for this episode, I asked my friend Sarah Wildeman, who’s been a beloved guest on the podcast before, to interview me about what has been present in my life in this season. I’m on the cusp of the anniversary of our move from the West coast to our farm in the Hudson Valley and my relationship with this land and the community around me is ever evolving, changing, sometimes challenging and very much deepening.

    Tune in to hear more from us on:

    • The importance of choosing to be present and slowing down in order to fully connect with the land and community
    • The challenges and tensions that arise when building community in a new place
    • The process of letting go of old identities and finding a new sense of purpose and worth
    • The ongoing journey of grappling with challenges and staying true to oneself
    • Reconnecting with the land requires trust in intuition and working with the energy of the seasons
    • Supporting each other through transitions and embracing different roles in a relationship is essential
    • Embodying generosity and celebrating differences in partnership allows for flourishing

    Resources + Links

    Timestamps

    [0:00] Introduction

    [3:51] Longing for the East Coast and Connection to the Land

    [10:40] Building Community and Navigating Tensions

    [16:29] Slowing Down in Work and Choosing a Different Way of Life

    [20:29] Letting Go and Finding New Purpose

    [27:30] The Ongoing Journey of Grappling and Growth

    [32:22] Living Life Through the Lens of the Farm

    [34:04] Reconnecting with the Land and Trusting Intuition

    [37:27] Supporting Each Other Through Transitions and Embracing Different Roles in Partnership

    [42:47] Feeling Satiated and Accepting What Is

    [48:48] Embodying Generosity and Celebrating Differences in Partnership

    15 August 2024, 4:00 am
  • 43 minutes 28 seconds
    Ritualizing Challenging Life Transitions With Lara Vesta

    In today’s episode, I am joined by Lara Vesta, author of ‘The Year of the Dark Goddess’ and ‘The Moon Divas Guidebook’ (among other titles). In this conversation, we explore navigating difficult rites of passage, learning its culture through myths, fairytales and other symbolism and calling in our webs of support - whether they be human, spiritual, animal, plant or otherwise.

    Lara offers us tools and insights how we can empower and transform ourselves through the processes of grief and fear, drawing from ancestral traditions and the wisdom of the Dark Goddess.

    Tune in to hear more from us on:

    • Learning the culture of rites of passage and the role of the dark goddess
    • Honoring the shifts in our lives and identity with a new status or name
    • Growing our internal knowing and webs of support
    • Experiencing disorientation in a culture that can’t meet you
    • Creating seasonal awareness and honouring the pacing of the ceremonial year
    • Lara’s non-negotiable integration practices
    • The time it may take to integrate a rite of passage
    • Learning to create ceremony and ritual for integrating and honoring a rite of passage

    Resources + Links

    Timestamps 
    [0:00] Introduction 
    [5:46] Navigating Rites of Passage 
    [8:11] Learning How to Cope with Challenges through Myths and Fairytales 
    [11:38] Developing our Internal Knowing and Webs of Support 
    [13:16] Becoming Sovereign in your own Process 
    [15:58] The Transformative Power of a Daily Ritual and Recording it 
    [19:32] Introducing the Dark Goddess and her Many Forms 
    [23:23] Our Culture’s Separation from Death and Discomfort with Grief
    [27:26] Seasonal Awareness, Ritual and Self Care for Rites of Passage
    [32:48] The Time it Takes to Integrate a Rite of Passage
    [36:09] The Garden as a Mirror for Life and Navigating its Hardships
    [35:37] The Purpose of Challenges

    12 June 2024, 4:00 am
  • 54 minutes 35 seconds
    Redefining The Aesthetic Of Circle With Gemma Brady

    In today’s episode, I am joined by my friend Gemma Brady of ‘Sister Stories’ to explore our mutual passion of sharing circle work. One of Gemma’s mission is to make going to circle as common as going to yoga class and in this conversation, she shares how she approaches circle as a living, breathing art form. She shares vulnerably about how she experienced her second pregnancy and how circle, both as a participant and a facilitator, sustained her most through that time. Above all, this conversation is an invitation to everyone who feels the call to do circle work to explore their own unique expression and what it means to them to devote themselves to the heart of the practice.

    Tune in to hear more from us on:

    • How to find your own unique style of circle work
    • Challenging assumptions about the aesthetic, scale and framework of circle
    • How circle can foster meaningful connections and compassion
    • How circle is medicine, and an opportunity for personal growth, for the facilitator too
    • Preserving integrity in circle work while allowing it to evolve
    • Releasing the idea of hierarchy and competition within this work

    Resources + Links

    Timestamps

    [0:00] Introduction and The High Lady Workshop on Facilitating the Circle of your Dreams 
    [5:39] Introducing Gemma Brady and our Personal Connection 
    [11:40] Gemma’s Background in Spaceholding and the Creation of ‘Sister Stories’ 
    [17:23] The Power of Deep Speaking and Listening 
    [19:03] The Essence of Circle Beyond the Aesthetic + Unbranding Circle 
    [23:04] Circle as a Philosophy 
    [24:49] Spreading the Word of Circle 
    [27:44] Marketing Circle Work and Claiming your Unique Expression 
    [33:41] Shifted Assumptions around Circle 
    [37:57] Preserving Integrity and Allowing Evolution and Creativity in our Offerings 
    [40:49] Humanity and Imperfection in Circle 
    [42:39] Circle as Medicine for the Facilitator too 
    [51:33] Offering Circle Facilitation

    8 May 2024, 10:00 am
  • 46 minutes 49 seconds
    The Call For The Village Aunties & Supporting Girls In Rites Of Passage With Johannah Reimer

    In today’s episode, I am joined by Johannah Reimer to talk about holding circle for our girls and the female-bodied youth that are in our lives. Johannah is a soulcentric educator, ceremonialist, teen mentor, and an artist of many trades. Trained as a Waldorf teacher, Johannah has been working with children of all ages for over 20 years and holds a particular passion for tweens/teens striving to meet their developmental needs for mentorship and initiation in a culture that has forgotten how to do so. Johannah founded Wakeful Nature & Girls Group as a means to fill the initiatory void for girls crossing the threshold of childhood into adolescence with guidance, ceremony, and community.

    Johannah and I share our passion for the healing that can happen through circling and ceremony and in this conversation I get the change to get nosey about her incredible work facilitating girls groups, the impact this work has on her as a space holder and so much more. Above all, Johannah calls for the ‘village aunties’ to step up, cultivating more awareness around what today’s generation of girls is moving through and weaving together multi-generational embodied wisdom.

    Tune in to hear more from us on:

    • Remembering how to be village aunties and engage in re-villaging work
    • Creating a safe space for younger girls
    • The challenges faced by girls in today’s society
    • Working with the elements and ancestral remembrance
    • Ritualizing the first bleed and normalizing menstrual cycle awareness through storytelling and archetypes
    • Modeling imperfection and the human experience as a facilitator
    • Allowing the girls to grow capacity within circle
    • Experiencing grief as a facilitator whilst also carving the new path for ritual and ceremony
    • Stepping into our role as matriarchal leaders and how we can move into a post-patriarchal society

    Resources + Links

    Timestamps

    [0:00] Introduction 

    [09:43] Remembering How to be Village Aunties 

    [12:17] Challenges Faced by Girls in Today's Society 

    [18:00] Creating Safe Spaces for Girls through Long-Term and Ongoing Support 

    [26:48] Social Media Use by Teens and Navigating Belonging and Connection 

    [34:32] Ritualising & Normalising the First Bleed through Ceremony + Ritual 

    [40:22] Being a Girls Group Facilitator 

    [43:47] Moving into a Post-Patriarchal Society

    24 April 2024, 10:00 am
  • 27 minutes 44 seconds
    Ending friendships, circle is a weird word, and monetizing your hobbies (listener Q&A!)

    In today’s episode, I am answering listener questions. Topics range from sharing my personal viewpoint on religion and spirituality, navigating different roles and jobs during my day and in my life and dive deep into circle-related questions too.

    Tune in to hear more from me on:

    • The role religion and spirituality played during my upbringing and today
    • The journey from my old-school DIY blogging days to my online work now, and how working with my hands was the pathway to exploring community and belonging
    • Navigating different jobs and roles as a human being and practicing flexibility
    • Knowing when it’s time to let go and honoring the power of an ending when it comes to friendships - and also knowing when you’re witholding and taking responsibility
    • Claiming the term ‘circle’ and holding space for all peoples
    • How circle needs to offer the opportunity for equality and the space for consent, also in the context of sharing

    Resources + Links

    Timestamps

    [01:00] Do you practice any religions or spirituality?

    [06:23] Your work used to be more focused on hands on elements and literal making. How do you still integrate that into your day to day life?

    [11:24] How do you juggle/hold all of your different jobs and roles? Both big picture and like a “day in the life” type thing.

    [14:55] How to know when to let a friendship go or how do you do it?

    [18:23] Is it possible to start a successful circle with non-circley friends?

    [22:05] Does it always have to be everyone shares? Other prompts for shyer or younger?

    11 April 2024, 10:00 am
  • 59 minutes 17 seconds
    Social Media for the Anxiously Attached With Amelia Hruby

    In today’s episode, I am joined by my friend Amelia Hruby. Amelia is a feminist author, educator, podcaster and founder of Softer Sounds podcast studio (who used to edit this podcast too!). I brought her onto the podcast today specifically because of her amazing podcast ‘Off the Grid’, which is a podcast for small business owners who want to leave social media without losing their clients.

    Even if you don’t identify as a small business owner - there’s something about what Amelia shares about leaving social media in this episode that transcends it all and will leave you feeling inspired to explore your virtual presence.

    Amelia opens up about the impact that leaving social media has had on her life and makes the beautiful connection between her patterns of anxious attachment and how that showed up in her virtual presence too.

    Tune in to hear more from us on:

    • The loneliness that can arrive when leaving social media
    • The struggle of finding community outside of the virtual landscape and finding a sense of belonging without it
    • The need of being seen in this day and age
    • How personal and emotional well-being can be so attached and influenced by our online presence
    • How our seasonal and hormonal cycles can impact our relationship with social media
    • How the platforms are designed to lead us down a path of misinformation, toxic algorithms and capitalism

    Resources + Links

    Timestamps

    [0:00] Introduction [11:01] The Decision to Leave Social Media [13:16] Anxious Attachment to the Online Sphere [16:37] Life after Leaving Social Media [19:56] Creativity in Business w/o Social Media [20:56] Loneliness and Virtual Community [24:34] Running a Business outside of Social Media [27:27] Finding Community outside of Social Media [29:00] The Need to Feel Seen [36:44] Curation Online [40:40] Aggravation of Wounds of Belonging by Social Media [48:36] The Harmful Ways the Algorithm Preys Upon Vulnerabilities [52:46] The Impact of Culture and the Joy of the Internet [53:41] Bringing Intention, Awareness and Agency to the Virtual Landscape [54:16] Choosing a Different Path and Finding Liberation [54:55] Main Takeaways [56:36] Amelia’s Work and Offerings

    27 March 2024, 10:00 am
  • 24 minutes 2 seconds
    Living In The Bottomless Pit Of Need

    It takes a deep initiation of need for care to get you to shed the layers of hyper individualism and show up as the village. In today’s episode, I get fired up about why the ones who are showing up and arriving on the doorstep with the soup are often the caregivers with a limited capacity themselves. I talk about my own journey with asking for and receiving support, experiencing the power of circle and council and navigating anger and cynicism along the way.

    Tune in to hear more from me on:

    – Caregivers with less capacity being the ones who show up

    • How it takes a deep initiation of need, usually having a child or experiencing a major loss or illness, to get you to this place
    • Releasing the fog of hyper individualism
    • How we need to replenish as keepers of the well
    • Resisting the urge to become cynical
    • Weaving yourself into the mission

    Resources + Links

    Timestamps

    [0:00] Introduction

    [5:41] Initiation into Caregiving and Kinkeeping

    [7:35] The Myth of Hyper Individualism

    [8:36] Those Who Show Up for the Village are the Ones with the Least Capacity

    [9:56] The Bottomless Pit of Need

    [12:12] Creating Community and Circle

    [16:48] Replenishing Yourself as Keeper of the Well

    [18:26] Navigating Cynicism and Anger when Feeling Unsupported

    [20:52] Weaving Yourself into the Mission

    [21:20] Beheld Council Invitation

    [23:05] Next Episode Preview

    13 March 2024, 9:00 am
  • 1 hour 9 seconds
    Turning Circle Conflict Into Deeper Intimacy With Ginny Muir

    In today’s episode, I am joined by my dear friend Ginny Muir to talk about the longing for deep intimacy, the importance of healing in relationships, navigating rupture and repair in community and circle specifically. Ginny is an incredible spaceholder, medicine woman, witch, tantrika and so much more. Specifically, she has an incredible way of supporting relational conflict.

    Rupture and repair is an innate way of being in community, and yet to so many of us this is absolutely terrifying. In this conversation, Ginny shows her amazing skills at supporting others through navigating conflict and we give real-life examples as to how we navigated conflict in circle before - and the tools that helped us work though it.

    Tune in to hear more from us on:

    • How deep intimacy requires healing in relationships and a willingness to navigate conflict
    • How rupture and repair are essential for fostering deeper intimacy and growth
    • How conflict in friendship should be approached with the same openness and willingness to repair as conflict in romantic relationship
    • Examples of circle technologies, how they can help navigate moments of rupture and create a safe space for healing

    Resources + Links

    Timestamps

    [00:00]  Introducing Ginny Muir

    [07:25] Longing for Deep Intimacy

    [09:45] Healing in Relationships

    [11:33] Wounds and Attachment

    [14:29] The Process of Rupture and Repair

    [15:55] Conflict in Friendship vs Romantic Relationships

    [19:55] Embracing Polarity and Diversity in All Relationships

    [24:37] Triggers as an Opportunity for Self Love

    [25:51] Turning Conflict into Deeper Intimacy

    [27:07] Navigating conflict through the Lens of the Nervous System

    [28:11] Rupture and Repair in a Retreat

    [38:29] Finding Safety in Circle

    [41:35] Consciously created circles and communities

    [43:05] The experience of Holding Space and Trusting the Unfolding of Ceremony

    [46:40] Using Circle Technologies

    [52:49] Learning from Experienced Teachers

    [54:32] Receiving Support through Microdosing 🍄

    [56:17] Journey to Scotland & Reconnecting with the Earth Ways on the Ancestral Land

    28 February 2024, 11:00 am
  • 19 minutes 35 seconds
    What Kept Me From Completely Giving Up

    A year ago, I almost completely gave up on my work. Emerging from the early years of motherhood and feeling my creative spark again, I felt motivated to get back into the deeper aspects of my sacred work.

    So, in a flash of creative impulse, I announced a new program to the world in the place we announce things these days: on Instagram. It was received mostly with a good deal of excitement and interest, and…it was also received with some intense criticism - primarily in the form of snarky comments and DMs from complete strangers who were making a lot of assumptions about me. Assumptions without curiosity. Assumptions wrapped in judgment. Over a period of 72 hours, I received wave after wave of comments that felt challenging to hold on my own.

    In this episode, I tell the story of grief, shame and how being in sacred council helped me heal and grow through this experience.

    Tune in to hear more from me on:

    • The grief of feeling misunderstood and shamed in a parasocial format, which left me raw and confused.
    • The divine timing of an in-person retreat with an intimate council of women space holders, and the cacao ceremony that held me at my most vulnerable.
    • Emerging lighter and less bothered and leaving that retreat weekend with a renewed vision in the purpose and power of this work I do.
    • Everything I learned from that rupture and the gratitude I feel now for what happened.
    • The one thing that had me not throw in the towel and heal from this experience: being held in a sacred council.
    • My own council BEHELD which is now open for enrollment again.

    Resources + Links

    Timestamps

    [0:00] Introduction [2:45] Sharing the story of almost giving up my sacred work after receiving criticism [9:23] The divine timing of an in-person retreat weekend [9:50] Unfurling during the cacao ceremony [12:06] The power of sacred councils [15:31] Continuing despite challenges and feeling tender [16:02] The offering it all started with and hosting it again [17:16] Join BEHELD - a sacred council for space holders

    22 February 2024, 11:00 am
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