Congratulations to Jayden Daniels for being named the starting quarterback for your 2024 Washington Commanders!

Assuming he's not hit by a meteor in the next week or two, he will be the team's 36th starting QB since 1993, and simply by virtue of being able to walk and chew gum at the same time, he is probably already among the ten best of those players. We'll never know, though, because Jamie and Matt don't rank him. But they DO rank the other 35 guys, and boy, is it ever bleak.

Join us, won't you, for a grim deathmarch through 31 years of quarterbacking futility!

By actual, honest-to-god request, Jamie and Matt are back to talk about the Washington football team formerly known as the Washington Football Team. There's a lot of chatter in this one about the actual team and what it means to have Dan Snyder gone and so on, but the highlight is definitely Matt having a brainfart that makes him look catastrophically dumb. If you like that sort of thing--and let's be honest, who doesn't!--this is the episode for you.

Jamie and Matt talk about the viral big hat, the viral Sean Taylor mannequin, the less-than-viral Commanders win over the Falcons, and the usual assortment of other stuff. It's a much more fun episode than I'm making it sound. I'm sorry.

Jamie and Matt talk about Taylor Heinicke's moxie at exhaustive length. Truly, you have never heard the word "moxie" used so many times in a non-ironic (or at least semi-non-ironic) way. Moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie moxie. Then they talk about some TV and music and other stuff, but not very long and not with any spoilers. Moxie! 

With the news we've all been waiting for hovering out there, Matt and Jamie reconvene despite promising not to, and then the conversation mainly consists of Matt complaining about Scott Turner. It'll probably be really good if you like that sort of thing.

Jamie and Matt use the last-second win over the hapless Colts as a springboard for catching up on the hapless Commanders' season so far. This time around, Jamie is the bright side and Matt is hammering one frustrated point repeatedly. Around 36:50 or so, talk turns to House Of The Dragon, Andor, Werewolf By Night, and dadrock concerts. No spoilers for anything besides the Smashing Pumpkins' truly dreadful setlist. See you again at some point in the future that is undefined except that it will NOT be next week, win or lose.

Jamie and Matt start off by discussing the Commanders' loss to the Lions for awhile--the positive signs, the causes for concern, the abject lack of defense--and wind up talking for a surprisingly long time about a traditional North Carolina pig pickin. In the end, there's some brief conversation about the upcoming Andor series, culminating in an explanation of why yesterday's game was almost exactly identical to the Disney+ Obi-Wan series. So pretty much the usual, then. 

Jamie and Matt are a little punchy from seeing a Washington football team look alive and playmaker-y on offense (and also totally devoid of linebackers on defense). There's some light spoiler-free House of the Dragon discussion in the middle but mostly it's all football. This might be the high point of the season, so enjoy it while it's here.

By popular demand (only eight of you asked us to please not do this!), Jamie and Matt return to talk about the Washington Commanders heading into Week 1 of the 2022 season. Is there ANYTHING to be hopeful about? Can the most 7-10 organization in the world manage to exceed that win total? One of us thinks so! Also, toward the end of the episode we discuss a bunch of TV and movie stuff (without spoilers) and then Jamie makes fun of emo for awhile. The Mr. I Pod is BACK, baby!

Jamie and Matt try to catch up on four months that included a name change, a new quarterback, multiple congressional investigations, a pre-draft process, a draft, post-draft evaluations, 40 hours of Marvel content, and six to ten top-notch TV/streaming programs. Mainly they talk about the draft and the team name before trying to do an overview of the pop culture stuff. There are no major spoilers I can think of in that part. It's all kind of a ramble but let's be honest: you're probably not here for hard-hitting analysis.

This episode actually has nothing to do with the actual locker clean-out day, so if anything interesting came out of the exit interviews don't expect to hear about it here. The title is more of a metaphor, as Jamie and Matt discuss the last few games of the season, their hope for the team going forward (minimal!); their thoughts on the new name, which will probably be Commanders (meh!); their ideas for how to succeed in spite of Daniel Snyder (¯\(ツ)/¯); and their general analysis of the current squad. From a non-football standpoint, they discuss Yellowjackets (which appears to be on an assortment of streaming services, including but possibly not limited to Showtime, Hulu Premium, Pluto TV, something called Spectrum TV, or The Roku Channel), Station Eleven (HBO Max), and a little bit about if Disney+'s Book of Boba Fett is boring (yes).