Bringing new meaning to the court's order.

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Can lunch save professional civility? Almost assuredly not, but one judge is going to try. Partnership isn't what it used to be. Instead of long careers with equity ownership, partners are making lateral jumps with more frequency than ever. More out of the murder of a Kentucky judge earlier this year... "running a brothel out of that courtroom" sounds ominous.

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(00:00)Small Talk

(02:15)Mysterious Drone Sightings

(07:20)Lawyer Lunch Date

(12:03)Laterals Aren't Loving This Biglaw Firm

(19:15)Slain Judge Accused Of 'Running A Brothel Out Of That Courtroom'

Elon's got some thoughts on the judicial system.

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Elon Musk says his AI will be able to deliver judicial opinions as soon as he feeds it "all" the cases. It will not, but his impulse sheds some light on a disturbing lack of respect for the rule of law. A pair of judges planning to take senior status as soon as Biden confirmed their successors have withdrawn their plans after the Senate sat on their proposed openings. And law school applications are up big time... and that's not good news for a lot of students.

Get it? Combining two of the stories into one relevant title? 

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A pregnant law student sought modest accommodations when finals came over her due date. The school rejected the request saying, "Motherhood is not for the Faint of Heart." It did not go over well with fellow students. Or alumni. Or faculty. Or pretty much anyone. Drake accused the music industry of conspiring to help Kendrick demolish him in rap battle. RICO claims? They really not like us. Finally, Jonathan Turley accused liberal rage for the disturbing swatting attack he suffered. When his theory of the case turned out to be... wildly and completely wrong, he took a swipe at Joe. And missed.

'Hey, please don't open this' is not a policy.

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A law firm left its confidential internal documents with juicy information unprotected and was shocked, SHOCKED to find out attorneys read them. Pam Bondi is next at bat for the Attorney General job. While her decision to drop an official investigation into Trump University conveniently after he started supporting her will get a lot of attention, don't sleep on the TAIL of her fight over another family's dog. And, finally, we have an un-bear-ably wild tale of a "bear" attack on luxury cars.

00:00 Small Talk

03:10 Happy Thanksgiving

07:00 Biglaw Associates Caught Reading Private Emails

14:03 Goodbye Matt Gaetz, Hello Pam Bondi

17:26 Pam Bondi’s Dog Drama

23:04 The Bear That Attacked Luxury Cars

Also... Matt Gaetz as Attorney General is something we have to contemplate?

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The Federalist Society conference included a tour de force in rhetorical fallacy from the Fifth Circuit's Judge Edith Jones, suggesting that it's an attack on the "rule of law" to talk about court reform and that such criticism results in death threats! Very cool. Very judicial. We also have a disturbing story out of Biglaw, and discuss the instant reaction to Matt Gaetz being nominated to serve as Attorney General and the dumbest takes that nomination has inspired.

00:00 Small Talk

5:53 The National Lawyers Convention & Judge Jones

24:29 Biglaw Partner Removed After Wife's Remains Found

30:00 Misc. Stories

34:14 Closing Remarks

The race is on.

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It's the most wonderful time of the year! Milbank continues to relish its role as the Pied Piper of Biglaw bonuses, once again jumping the traditional late November bonus announcement kickoff to set the bar for 2024 annual bonuses. We also learned that a number of firms make non-equity pay a share of the partnership expenses despite holding no equity. And one partner out there is using work email to complain about the neighbors with offensive terminology.

That Governing Document Can't Stop Me Because I Can't Read!

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Sammy Alito openly defies the Constitution with European knighthood. Chicago Law tapes classes but isn't interested in letting students actually use those recordings. Students are, unsurprisingly, pissed. Professor Richard Epstein brags about replacing scientists with judges. Yes, the same guy who said COVID would only kill 500 people and got the first Trump administration sold on the idea. And mark your calendars for the lawyer movie from Hallmark's holiday season.

Also, Tiffany may be number 1 in his heart (she's not), but she's also not number 1 in her class.

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Of all the iconic lines from Dr. Strangelove, maybe the best is "You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!" Recently, Harvard began punishing students (and faculty) for silent library protests while studying almost as though maintaining a "non-disruptive atmosphere" isn't the school's real concern. Donald Trump brags about Tiffany Trump's class ranking... even though her law school doesn't rank students. And states are preparing for the Supreme Court to launch a large-scale rollback on rights.

The republican party of the 1990s must be turning over in its grave because the modern GOP is arguing teen pregnancy is a good thing. Equity partnership in Biglaw is a financial windfall, unless you're in the 10-30% of partners getting a compensation cut. And do you like messy, I mean MESSY, legal drama? The latest from the Texas bankruptcy court romantic scandal is eye popping.

From young attorneys to the Chief Justice, a lot of lawyers are dropping the ball.

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We've got some young lawyers out there who don't understand the basics of professionalism and it runs a lot deeper than just lacking experience. That said, there are some experienced attorneys falling down on fulfilling a different set of professional obligations. Meanwhile, Chief Justice Roberts is apparently very, very sad that the public didn't appreciate his latest Constitutional rewrite.

Why not?

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Kathryn Mizelle was rated unqualified by the ABA and it shows. The Trump appointee just took it upon herself to rewrite the law despite acknowledging that higher courts have explicitly declined to do so. But she's a very special snowflake apparently. Law school rankings are primed for a major shuffle if we're to believe the available data. And... why do we need a new Matlock?