Queen City Poly

Coach Kay & Brian O'Neil

Queen City Poly is a podcast dedicated to connecting real people with real solutions for their relationship goals. Focused on communication, consent, and autonomy, we discuss polyamory and ethical non-monogamy as well as broader topics concerning open relationships of all structures and configurations (polyamorous and otherwise). We also call on monogamous friends and special guests to share their views on love, sex, family, psychology, sociology, and other tangents that spark our curious minds. Based in Queen City (Charlotte, North Carolina). Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/queencitypoly/support

  • 28 minutes 12 seconds
    Ep. 45 - Biphobia within Polyamory

    On episode 45, Brian O'Neil and Coach Kay discuss polyamorous folx who have sexual orientation "preferences" for their partners, gender "preferences" for their potential metas, and the bi-phobia and bi-erasure that happens even within so-called, open-minded polyamorous communities.  Tune in to listen to us get real about this nonsense. 

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/queencitypoly/support
    2 October 2019, 7:13 pm
  • 31 minutes
    Ep. 44 - One Night Stands

    Brian O'Neil & Coach Kay discuss the general consensus among the polyamorous community (ha!) about one-night stands. They answer questions such as: Would you be upset if your partner had one and told you about it afterwards? Do you expect to be able to have one without any drama from your partner(s)? What even qualifies as a one night stand? Have you ever had one? Can you enjoy casual sex and/or one night stands within polyamorous relationships?

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/queencitypoly/support
    18 September 2019, 11:20 pm
  • 42 minutes 24 seconds
    Ep. 43 - Hierarchy

    On episode 43, Coach Kay and Brian O'Neil discuss prescriptive versus descriptive hierarchy, relationship anarchy, and a special form of hierarchy, SNEAKARCHY. 


    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/queencitypoly/support
    11 September 2019, 10:35 pm
  • 33 minutes 39 seconds
    Ep. 42 - Nesting Partners
    In episode 42, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay talk nesting partnerships and the assumptions that come having or not having partners who you cohabitate with. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/queencitypoly/support
    4 September 2019, 8:05 pm
  • 41 minutes 41 seconds
    Ep. 41 - PDA and Polyamory
    You arrive to a bar and see your polyam partner in an embrace with a stranger. Their arms around this person's neck. This person's arms around your polyam partner’s waist. Just a couple of inches between their faces. Clearly they are in a flirtatious moment. The question is, is this acceptable because you are polyamorous? Check out Episode 41 - PDA and Polyamory to hear @iamcoachkay and @iambrianoneil discuss the nuances of flirting, showing affection, and dating when you have other partners that may have feelings seeing you doing any of these things in front of them. #polyamorous #charlotte #podcast #polyamory #nonmonogamy #communication #flirting #unconventionalrelationships #healthyrelationships #selfdevelopment #ethicalnonmonogamy #relationships #relationshipstatus #health #dating #loveislove #queencitypoly --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/queencitypoly/support
    14 August 2019, 11:00 am
  • 44 minutes 46 seconds
    Ep. 40 - Communicating Non-Consent

    In episode 40, Brian O'Neil talks openly about being touched non-consensually following a recent standup gig after he talked about his polyamorous relationship style on stage. We sat down to talk about this experience as well as his experience sharing his story on Facebook. 

    Women are not immune to being the aggressor and perpetrator of sexual assault. Explicit, enthusiastic consent should be sought after throughout every interaction by the initiator of any and all sexual advances. But when that doesn’t happen, what can we do to communicate we do not consent in a way that feels comfortable in the moment? 

    #polyamorous #charlotte #podcast #consent #metoo #malesexualassault #standup #comedy #polyamory #nonmonogamy #communication #unconventionalrelationships #healthyrelationships #ethicalnonmonogamy #relationships #relationshipstatus #dating #loveislove #queencitypoly 

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/queencitypoly/support
    7 August 2019, 4:05 pm
  • 47 minutes 16 seconds
    Ep. 39 - New is No Excuse
    In episode 39 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay discuss examples of “seasoned” polyamorous people accommodating newly polyamorous partners with rules and agreements that threaten their own autonomy and do not serve their or their new partners needs. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/queencitypoly/support
    31 July 2019, 11:00 am
  • 39 minutes 14 seconds
    Ep. 38 - Polyamory Or My Marriage
    In Episode 38, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay talk about Brian's internet friend who is exploring the idea of polyamory but does not know how to get through to her husband, who is not having any of it. But before they dive into responding to that difficult situation, they discuss the popular mantra, Growth Happens Outside Your Comfort Zone. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/queencitypoly/support
    24 July 2019, 11:00 am
  • 50 minutes 6 seconds
    Ep. 37 - The Law of Fuck Yes or No
    In Episode 37, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay discuss Mark Manson’s blog article titled, Fuck Yes or No. The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them. Check out Mar Manson’s blog for the full article and then tune into this week’s episode. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/queencitypoly/support
    18 July 2019, 7:30 pm
  • 55 minutes 4 seconds
    Ep. 36 - Communication Preferences and Compatibility
    In Episode 36, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay talk about how communications preferences impact compatibility, including: requiring daily communication, feelings regarding small talk, preferred communication modes (face-to-face, text, phone), needs for intellectually stimulating conversations, sense of humor, passive versus direct communicators, and people who are either “too talkative” or “too quiet.” How does a partner’s communication style and/or their communication preferences factor into y’alls compatibility? Let us know! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/queencitypoly/support
    10 July 2019, 6:28 pm
  • 47 minutes 18 seconds
    Ep. 35 - A 'Throuple' Joins the Red Table

    The unconventional path is windy one. Polyamory is a valid relationship style that is more than just having multiple sex partners. Monogamy is a valid option but not the only way to go. You can craft your own non-monogamous relationships and create the life you want, one step at a time. You may get lost, but the journey is more important than the destination.

    On episode 35 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil & Coach Kay talk about Red Table Talk’s recent episode on unconventional relationships. Did you get a chance to catch that RTT episode? What did you love or hate about it? Listen in to what we loved about this episode of RTT and what we thought of the conversation.

    Watch the Red Table Talk episode: ‘Unconventional Relationships: Can Multiple Partners Work?’ on Facebook Watch.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/queencitypoly/support
    3 July 2019, 4:00 pm
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