On Today’s KITM, David Waldman does what he can to prepare us for whatever it is coming our way. 

Donald Trump’s hush money/election interference trial resumed Friday in Manhattan Criminal Court, where. uhm, where… Oh my God, he’s going to get away with it all, isn’t he?

Yesterday, the Supreme Court posed the question,  “If Donald Trump can’t commit federal crimes with complete impunity, then who can?” They pondered the conundrum of whether the President is just too big to jail, too tied to American democracy and liberty to reign in. (As would be, of course, those Supreme Court justices, several billionaires, and a few foreign potentates.) After all, it’s how the Founding Fathers would have wanted it, had they planned to ignore the citizenry. It’s how MAGA citizenry wants it today.

A right-wing legal group discovered that lawsuits are an efficient and economical way to spread election disinformation.

A former Baltimore high school athletic director is accused of framing the principal using Artificial Intelligence. The only solution to this growing problem would naturally be flamethrowing robot dogs.

It’s Thursday, and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back to discuss everything important and newsworthy... except flamethrowing robot dogs. That subject remains woefully under-reported here.

Kids nowadays! What’s with all of these anti-war protests at campuses? Quit acting like your grandparents and get a job! Oh, and if you want to appear sensible, don’t demonstrate overt support for either the Viet Cong or Hamas.

MintPress might smell fresh, but should probably remain only a garnish on your news media diet.

Pecker got Trump into his present criminal trial, and Pecker might just convict him, along with 40 other witnesses there to cut Donald down to size.

An Arizona grand jury indicted Mark Meadows, Rudy Giuliani and Boris Epshteyn plus many more for 2020 election interference. Donald Trump is “Unindicted Co-conspirator #1” in Arizona, and over in Michigan as well. Arizona Gop Chair Kelli Ward will hopefully get to see the arrest, perp walk and jail time that she had requested. Christina Bobb is the lawyer overseeing the RNC's "election integrity" efforts, and now will have on-the-job training as a defendant. More swing states will soon swing into action on their fake electors as more Gop money is transferred to lawyers. Donald will thank them all someday, just as he thanked Bill Barr for his service. 

All of this should worry President Joe Biden. Ask any Nate, and they’ll tell you that Dems are in disarray and Trump’s only problem is having any party to run against in November.

Meanwhile, in the Republican House, everything is as solid as their Biden impeachment efforts.

Trump only needs is 5 votes, and he can put all of this aggravation behind him.

RIP Donald Payne, six-term Congressman from New Jersey. David’s old enough to know his dad!

It’s Wednesday, and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back with the news, views, and wishes for a happy Passover, and National Pigs in a Blanket Day for those of us with absolutely zero dietary restrictions.

Fake news! Mint Press isn’t the only one passing around stories too good to be true, more will be on the way. Syrian chemical weapons conspiracy theorists are being stoked to parrot Assad regime and Kremlin falsehoods.

Protests spread across US campuses, and no one is more happy than the Gops. Mike Johnson leads the charge for photo ops at Columbia.

Donald Trump gets teenier and tinier each day, while his problems only get bigger. His lawyers strategy of blurting out whatever has worn thin in just a few days. Now it has become not so nuts to start planning for a conviction.

Speaking of nuts, whether Donald Trump castrated Republicans or they neutered themselves doesn’t matter as long as they’ve been fixed. The Senate easily approved aid for Israel, Ukraine, and Taiwan while they were at it, and President Joe Biden signed off on it.

If you thought Trump would be perfect with more cynicism and nihilism, meet J.D. Vance.

Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports from Michigan that Rebekah Curran figures her Ottawa County Commissioner experience would make her a perfect fit for United States Senator. Now she just needs 11,780 votes plus 3220 or so. The Republicans in the race include Mike Rogers, Justin Amash and Peter Meijer. Yes the Peter Meijer you’ve read about on the handle of your grocery cart. The Democratic candidate Elissa Slotkin remains narrowly in the lead.

Soon to join their January 6 brethren and sistren up the river will be members of the Fake Elector Gang.

Happy Passover! David Waldman and Joan McCarter present today’s Holiday Special KITM Ⓚ

Senator Tom Cotton wants the National Guard to clamp down on the anti-war hippy movement on college campuses. In 1970, Ohio Governor Jim Rhodes tried out a similar idea in a pretty well-publicized case. Cotton should consider Rhodes’ eventual plight of finishing his maximum two terms as Governor, skipping a term, then having the Ohio Supreme Court declare that he could return for another two terms, then running for Governor following those four terms and 16 years,  SUBSEQUENTLY LOSING. Lesson learned! (And Donald Trump is taking notes.)

Stymieing Trump’s ambitions for his second through fifth presidential terms are multiple felony court cases that keep dredging up truth and facts. It’s really hard to foment a respectable mob in such conditions. To battle their annoyingly truth and fact laded prosecution, Trump’s defense is deploying a “blurt out distractions” strategy.

President Joe Biden got aid for Ukraine, although he had to cut border security out of the deal to get it… Thanks Trump! Marjorie Taylor Greene is counting her votes to oust Speaker Mike Johnson, and has so far made it to “three”, which pretty much used up her remaining brainpower.  Anyhow, Mike doesn’t have much to do with the House.

In Montana, Republican Senate hopeful Tim Sheehy is trying to George Santos his way to election. In Pennsylvania, Dave McCormick figures that the Santos method is also worth a try.

Your tax dollars at work: Loss of federal protection in Idaho means that pregnancy emergencies might need to LifeFlight to other states, while migrants flown to Martha’s Vineyard by Ron DeSantis now qualify for special visas!

Mmm — Do you sense a certain “earthiness” in the air today? Why yes, that’s David Waldman and Greg Dworkin with today’s KITM Earth Day Special!

I regret the error. In last Friday’s summary I had stated that since the release of the Congressional FART team, all of the good fart jokes had now been written. As you KITM listeners know however, no matter what, Donald Trump always seems to have something cooking. I had discounted that Donald would never breathe easy… until no one can. TFFG earns yet another F. 

So much for it being a “hush” trial… I can’t stop! Well, pretty soon we’ll all be talking about how Trump’s old pal Pecker is letting him down with embarrassing leaks. Much better!

Yep, that sound you hear is Trump deflating. Donald shakes his tiny fist and demands his followers avenge him. Trump’s MAGA are however turning micro, and his own family has better things to do. Donald Trump’s lack of popularity is somehow making him… less popular.

It’s looking like it will be another good week for America and President Joe Biden. The Senate voted to dismiss the House’s stunt impeachment against Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas. Congress... no actually, Mike Johnson... no actually, Donald Trump voted for Ukraine aid… No, actually there is no Gop Congress anymore. While Mike Johnson and Marjorie Taylor Greene were out back measuring to see whose Crucifix was larger, Hakeem Jeffries quietly took control of what civility that was left. The winner of this Congress is Joe Biden.

Joe’s getting his mojo back. Hopefully his Joementum will dislodge Trump from his Supreme Court.

Today’s January 6 FAFO winner: Scott Miller of Millersville.

EU parliamentary elections are upcoming in France, so it’s recieving the majority of Russian disinformation this week.

You think that David Waldman has it easy as host of the KITM Show? The Freedom Caucus released their FART team 20 some hours before our Friday show. All of the good jokes are done!

Marjorie Taylor Greene could have finally shown leadership aptitude in FART, had she not been thrown out of the caucus. Moscow Marjorie sure supports Vladimir Putin and yet has not been conscripted into the Russian army… or maybe she has... The Bill Barr sleeper cell reawakes.

Am I the only one, or did you also believe that people get in trouble when they ignore subpoenas?

Section 702 of FISA expires tonight unless Mike Johnson can change that. Misplaced merkin Rand Paul leads the opposition.

It’s another day in the notorious mob dotard Donald Trump’s election interference trial. Of course, Trump is a notorious mob dotard, so finding jurors too ignorant to despise him is tough. Of course, Trump is a notorious mob dotard, so keeping jurors safe from his mob hits will be tough. Of course, Trump is a notorious mob dotard, so keeping the room cold enough to keep TFFG awake will challenge every occupant. If it’s really a problem, Donald can always request a second blanket for his cell.

Israel had a chance to cut that out, but chose differently.

If FEMA needs to keep fishing you out of your Florida neighborhood, they want you to pay higher insurance rates.

Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has been corresponding, but we need to catch up on the publishing. Recently, Michigan Democrats won special elections to regain full control of state government, while Michigan Gops can’t even control themselves. Recently, one of Michigan’s anti-LGBTQ+ hate groups, Church Militant shut down, though it might be strategically retreating to friendly territory. Recently, that is, in the last few hundred years, the Methodist church has been schismatic, and particularly schismatized in today’s increasingly diverse, equitable and inclusive environment.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back and awake as ever for the Thursday KITM!

Mike Johnson has been attempting to find the balance between allowing Ukraine to die at the hands of the Russians, or pretending to help only to arrive too late. Counting votes for Mike is made tougher by the everchanging vote to ruble exchange rate in the Gop House. C-Span could open a 24/7 kompromat video feed.

Over at the Senate, it didn’t take long to flush the House’s impeachment stunt. Republicans weren’t really trying, as impeachment was never really their goal.

Arizona Republicans are happy to stick it to Democrats on abortion for as long as they have their jobs. 

A disgruntled employee attempted to destroy his company on the way out, and almost did too, as NPR had already inflicted plenty on itself already.

The Trump campaign is in deeper trouble than you think. Joe Biden is way ahead in several demographics. The DCCC has double the money as the NRCC. Donald Trump may not even win the election. If he does, this time he wants a bigger cut.

We’re back down to 5 jurors on Trump’s election interference/peener trouble trial, once more jurors realized how dangerous mob trials can get. It isn’t as if Donald didn’t warn them.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back for the Thursday KITM. Listen to today’s show and you’ll never doze off!

Nighty night, Donald! Sure, food isn’t allowed in the courtroom, but there should be an exception made for a bowl of spaghetti or a cream pie under Donald Trump’s face. It’s hard to believe TFFG would have anything to complain about, it sounds like a laugh riot so far. Pity the Both-Sides Media, who have to make Trump more than the nothing he is, and the trial less than a case of felony election interference. After all, they’re still selling tickets to the debates.

There are a lot of Big Lies jockeying for attention right now, but Presidential Immunity is one that can be addressed before it gets much bigger.

Trump’s original Big Lie is still out there taking a toll. Smartmatic and MAGA Network OAN settled their election defamation case. Prosecutions of fake electors are gaining ground in swing states.

The Gop phony baloney impeachment trial continues to move forward, the White House is watching but expects only the best out of MTG’s handling of the case.

President Joe Biden is inching ahead in the polls, give or take. Arizona Republicans are standing strong on abortion, wiping out any chances they might have of being elected. If it wasn’t for the Supreme Court, Gops would go extinct. Disgraced Republican ex-councilor, Wilmer Puello-Mota ruined his life so much that he feels safer standing in front of Ukrainian drones.

No one knows more about most things than David Waldman and Joan McCarter. Listen to them for a couple of hours today and see how much smarter you can become.

Somnolent sleezewad Donald Trump is today attending the second day of his first criminal trial. Some say that Donald napped better yesterday than the great Lincoln or Washington would have, had they been indicted on multiple felonies. Stormy Daniels’ testimony should wake him tf up.

More details make Trump’s $175M bond story more complex but no less hinky. 

Mike Johnson made the trip down to Florida, so now he thinks he’s a made man and MTG and Thomas Massie can’t hurt him. Come over to the Dems Mike, you’ll be safe from them there. What good is a functional House Speaker anyhow? Details aren’t awfully necessary when you’re freeing hostage appliances and randomly impeaching people.

Disgraced former Republican city councilor Wilmer Puello-Mota joined the Russian army rather than go to prison for child porn and register as a sex offender. Disgraced former Republican Congressman Madison Cawthorne might want to consider visiting the Ukrainian front as well.

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin present the KITM Patriots Day Special… which was a holiday even before it became day one of Donald Trump’s first criminal trial. So far the trial is the trial of the century, despite Trump’s pleading, raging, ranting, and contempt. You know that it’s a big deal, even without Donald telling you so, because it’s so hard to bully or fake out a trial. 

Outside the courthouse, Trump’s follower covers his face. TFFG’s argument has been that “Everyone’s a crook so I have to be the biggest one.”, which usually is unpersuasive to judges, juries, and hopefully enough voters. People do tell pollsters whatever they feel like telling them, then vote however they feel like, when they feel like voting. Chris Sununu gave Republican voters permission to vote for Trump no matter what they have ever said.

Probably fewer people will vote for Robert F. Kennedy Jr. than who are related to him, but still enough to do damage.

Donald Trump’s bond insurer insurer has insured that their money will be staying in the Cayman islands.

As of press time, World War Three has not yet kicked off, thanks to the whole world being being cool and all. Now, if everyone stays that way, and slowly backs up, it could turn out just fine… if anyone does something stupid, or worse, it might not. Remember that time Republicans said they did something, but really didn’t?

Let’s see… What happened since we last talked? Trump supporter and wingman OJ Simpson died, which other than freeing up some tee time and reminding everyone of Norm Macdonald, doesn’t solve much. Allen Weisselberg has been taken into custody, again, for criming for Trump, again, but every little incarceration helps. And, David Waldman dropped a brand-new Friday KITM, which is always nice.

Speaking of Donald Trump, and when isn’t anybody speaking about Donald Trump? But maybe, just maybe, he’s going to criminal court... and maybe, just maybe, he’s heading towards justice. Maybe not.

Meanwhile, incumbent President Joe Biden is fighting to get on the ballot in Alabama and Ohio. Them’s the rules. The rules they always let slide until right about now.

And, what if the rules they’ve always followed were never the rules, but only a typo? Qualified Immunity isn't a law, is not in the Constitution, and as it turns out it has been all a misunderstanding.

The Justice Department urged House Republicans to “avoid conflict”, but that is kind of their thing.

Who is Nick Adams? What is Nick Adams? Does it really matter?

The more Trumpy VP contender Kristi Noem becomes, the less anyone likes her, and eventually Donald will hate her too.