We've just wrapped up Season 13 of Locker Room, but we wanted to bring you four bonus episodes from our Men's Retreat in October. We've had a lot of guys talking about it, and a lot of men who couldn't be there. We've released one each week to remind our men who attended, and to share with those who couldn't be there.

This message was from the final session of the retreat, and is called Declare War and Fight.

Locker Room will be back in the new year for season 14 on January 17.

We've just wrapped up Season 13 of Locker Room, but we wanted to bring you four bonus episodes from our Men's Retreat in October. We've had a lot of guys talking about it, and a lot of men who couldn't be there. We're releasing one each week to remind our men who attended, and to share with those who couldn't be there.

This message was from the third session of the retreat, and is called There Will Be Blood.

Locker Room will be back in the new year for season 14 on January 17.

We've just wrapped up Season 13 of Locker Room, but we wanted to bring you four bonus episodes from our Men's Retreat in October. We've had a lot of guys talking about it, and a lot of men who couldn't be there. We're releasing one each week to remind our men who attended, and to share with those who couldn't be there.

This message was from the second session of the retreat, and is called Warrior King.

Locker Room will be back in the new year for season 14 on January 17.

We've just wrapped up Season 13 of Locker Room, but we wanted to bring you four bonus episodes from our Men's Retreat in October called Battle Ready. We've had a lot of guys talking about it, and a lot of men who couldn't be there. We'll be releasing one each week over the next four weeks to remind our men who attended, and to share with those who couldn't be there.

This first message was the opening night from our retreat, and is called, Open War is Upon You.

Locker Room will be back in the new year for season 14 on January 17.

This week we’re wrapping up season 13 and this Giants series with a big one: DOUBT. Men doubt God’s existence, God’s Word, His promises, making sense of the problems in our world and they even have doubts around God’s Son, Jesus.

The cool thing about God is He’s not afraid of our doubts and questions. He actually invites us to bring our doubts and questions to Him. God has given us a mountain of evidence to draw us into an encounter with Him. If you’ve got doubts and questions, that means you’re normal.

In this episode, we won’t answer every big question. But we’ll try and create some clarity for some of the bigger ones we run into in life. Join us this week as we sit down with guests Dusty Bailey and Kevin Comp to talk about the Giant of Doubt.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Have you ever participated in a Trust Fall? Were you the faller or the catcher? What did it teach you about trust?

Doubt: the wavering between two minds or lacking confidence, assurance, or complete trust in God. How have you defined doubt in the past? How did this conversation help you reshape it?

The driving question of the podcast was “What if doubt isn’t the enemy of faith but the primary element of it?” For your own faith, has doubt been an enemy or primary element of it?

What specific ways does the enemy use doubt to discourage and destroy you?

Read Genesis 1:1 - Creator and Creation - how were you encouraged in your faith by what was shared about the world and universe we live in? What do you still struggle with when it comes to fully trusting Genesis 1:1?

Read 2 Timothy 3:14-17. What does your relationship with the Bible look like? Do you see a correlation between spending time in the Word and having a stronger faith? How can you rely more on God’s Truth and less on yourself/the world?

How has the enemy used pain and suffering to cause you to doubt? What has been the hardest season for you to cling to your faith?

Scott, Kevin, & Dusty all mentioned times of doubt in their own lives. They also mentioned several heroes of the faith in the Bible who doubted God. Which of those stories encouraged your faith the most? Why?

What else from the podcast spoke to you?

What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you?  What’s God asking you to do?  What does He want to give you?  What does He want you to lay down?

RESOURCES

• Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis

• The Case for Faith, The Case for Creator, Lee Strobel.

• Evidence that Demands a Verdict; Evidence for Jesus, Josh & Sean McDowell.

• The Reason for God, Tim Keller

NEXT STEPS 

• Join a Group at southland.church/groups

• For any other questions or comments email [email protected]

If you lead in any way, you are going to face criticism. Dealing with criticism is a part of leadership—period. One of the greatest weapons that the enemy uses for leaders is discouragement. Discouragement can often come from criticism. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, how much you care, how pure your motives and right your decisions are—criticism is coming—and you shouldn’t try to avoid it. It’s something that we all have to navigate.

Join us this week as we welcome back Scott Nickell and Jon Weece to talk about how to face and process criticism in a healthy way.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

What is the wildest piece of criticism you have ever received?

Read John 15:18-21. There are so many areas of life where we can be criticized. We can receive criticism at work, at home, in church, from friends, from relatives, and the list just goes on and on. What are the areas of your life that you receive criticism most often?

Whenever you experience criticism, what is your gut reaction? Do you get defensive? Defeated? Something else?

Oftentimes when we receive criticism, our gut reaction is to get defensive. However, there are times when there is some truth in the criticism we are receiving. How can you determine when criticism has some truth in it and when it does not? Is there anybody in your life you can ask to speak truth to the criticism you have received?

Our identity as followers of Jesus is not dependent on what others say about us or to us, but is dependent on who God says we are. Is this easy for you to remember? How can we remind ourselves of who God says we are in the midst of the criticism we receive on a consistent basis?

Whenever we receive criticism, our body begins to build up stress. When our body builds up stress we can unintentionally become critical of those we care about. What spiritual and mental checkpoints do you have in your life to be able to process the stress that comes from criticism?

Read 1 Peter 2:23. Jesus handled criticism in two ways: He would either respond in truth and grace, as he did with the religious leaders, or he wouldn’t respond at all. One of the best things we can do when we experience criticism is to listen to the criticism and not respond. Is this something that is easy for you? How could it help you navigate criticism better?

What else from the podcast spoke to you?

What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you?  What’s God asking you to do?  What does He want to give you?  What does He want you to lay down?

NEXT STEPS 

• Join a Group at southland.church/groups

• For any other questions or comments email [email protected]

Resentment and bitterness can infiltrate our lives in so many ways. Things that have happened to us beyond our control can darken our hearts and eat us up from the inside, negatively impacting our emotional and physical health, even affecting our relationship with Jesus.

The enemy loves to capitalize on this too, because we as men sometimes struggle to acknowledge our feelings, frustrations and fears.! Many men don’t have strong relationships where they talk about real things and it leaves them with gaping holes of unaddressed pain and legitimate frustration. We end up harboring resentment, holding grudges and building up cancerous bitterness. When we don’t address our wounds, it always, always comes out at some point.

We can’t control what people do to us, but we can control our response. The only thing we control is our response to the stuff that comes our way and we need God’s power to be able to respond in the right way!

On this episode of Locker Room, we sit down with our guests Jason and Parker to talk about how to move forward with processing resentment and bitterness, while still guarding our hearts and minds.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Talk about the worst/best camp experience you’ve had.

What were your first thoughts when you saw the topic was Resentment and Bitterness? Do you struggle with these giants? Do you tend to hold a grudge?

READ Hebrews 12:14-15. What can this passage teach us about these giants and how to deal with them?

The only way that we can kill the giant of bitterness is FORGIVENESS. That starts with understanding we have been forgiven by God from a multitude of sins we can’t even fathom. Is that difficult to accept? What does it feels like to be forgiven by God and by others?

READ Mark 11:25. Share a time when you forgave someone. How did you feel afterwards? God commands us to forgive. Do you take this command seriously?

Three steps to forgiveness - Step 1: We own what happened. Step 2: We acknowledge the pain that it brought on us. Step 3: We choose to forgive. Which step is the most difficult for you? Where in this process do you get caught up?

READ Romans 12:19. Our world and our flesh loves revenge, but we are commanded as Jesus followers to have none of this. How can you fight feelings of wanting to get revenge?

The guys talked about the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. What stood out to you about that conversation? Have you had a time when you were able to reconcile with someone you forgave?

READ Romans 12:18. We can only choose our own actions and responses. Is this hard for you to accept?

What else from the podcast spoke to you?

What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you?  What’s God asking you to do?  What does He want to give you?  What does He want you to lay down?

NEXT STEPS 

• Join a Group at southland.church/groups

• For any other questions or comments email [email protected]

Shame is a necessary emotion. Shame can be helpful. The way we feel about our wrong decisions and choices is meant to steer us towards God, towards repentance and towards healing. If we never feel shame, it means something is broken inside of us. There are things that we should be ashamed of, but with God’s help we don’t need to stay there.

Satan tries to manipulate our emotions in an effort to keep us locked up in our shame. He wants us to fixate on our sin, poor choices, bad decisions, to live in regret.

Today on the podcast we will discuss steps we can take to move forward, to repent and bring this stuff to God for forgiveness and healing.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

At the start of this episode, the crew talked about their childhood bully stories. Did you have a bully growing up? How did you deal with them?

With an episode surrounding guilt and shame, it is important to know the difference between the two. Scott defines guilt as, “to break or disregard God’s commands,” and shame as, “the feelings that come from sin and breaking God’s good commands for our lives.” Guilt is what comes from willfully sinning and shame is the emotion that comes from guilt. How do these definitions help you better understand the giants of guilt and shame?

Read Philippians 3:18-19. What does this say about those who choose what they want over what God wants for them? Read Philippians 3:19-21. What is the difference between the person described in the verses 18-19 and the person described in verses 19- 21?

What is the difference between shame and toxic shame? This is an important distinction because shame is an emotion we all feel, but toxic shame is what the enemy uses against us.

How we respond to guilt and shame often says a lot about what we believe about what God thinks of you. What does shame drive you towards? Does it drive us towards God or away from God? Does it drive us towards repentance or to something that numbs the feeling of shame?

A lie Vandee pointed out in the episode is that "we are enough." The thought that we are enough to fight our own sin and pull ourselves up without help is a lie. The truth is that we aren’t enough. Confession acknowledges we need God and other godly people in our lives. Is confession difficult for you? If yes, why?

Read James 5:16. Who are a couple of godly people you can take a risk on trusting, and confess what you’re going through? This could be your wife, a godly neighbor, someone in your group, or someone you look up to.

One of the best ways to fight the giants of guilt and shame is to fully trust God’s word. Read Psalm 32:1-2 & 103:12 & Hebrews 8:12. Do you believe these verses to be true? Do you believe what God says about your sin?

As men, one of the hardest things for us to do with our guilt and shame is to forgive ourselves. Nate suggested an exercise to help us see our need to forgive ourselves from what God has already forgiven us. Finish the sentence: “If ________ did ________, I would still forgive them.” Now replace their name with your name and read the sentence again.

What else from the podcast spoke to you?

What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you?  What’s God asking you to do?  What does He want to give you?  What does He want you to lay down?

Resources

• “Take You at Your Word” Cody Carnes 

• Shame and Guilt, Lewis Smedes

• Victory Over Darkness, Neil T. Anderson

NEXT STEPS 

• Join a Group at southland.church/groups

• For any other questions or comments email [email protected]

There are no harmless lies. They all have consequences. When we exchange the truth of God for a lie, there is a price to pay. Join us in the conversation as Scott and guest Greg Chandler drill down on five specific lies that the enemy wants us to believe and how we can counter each lie with truth from God’s word about who we are and what we are called to.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

Everyone in a group, play the game “Two truths and a lie.” Try and learn something new about each person in the group.

Scott and Greg dove into the idea that all lies begin with Satan; that Satan is seeking to steal, kill, and destroy. One of the most significant ways Satan attacks us is through lies. Satan twists God’s word. He lies. Do you believe that Satan has the power to deceive us? Have there been any times that you realized that Satan was trying to deceive you through a lie?

What comes to mind when asked this question: “What do you think you deserve?” Is this a thought that is true from God or a lie from the enemy?

Which of the 5 popular lies that Scott and Greg talked about do you find yourself believing most often?

• It’s all about me.
• I am damaged goods.
• God doesn’t love you and won’t forgive you.
• Things will never be different. Things will never change. I can’t recover from that.
• I can't spiritually lead my home. 

What lies does the enemy bombard you with on a consistent basis? How do you see these lies affecting your life?

What lies do I need to renounce?

Read 2 Corinthians 10:5. Do you have consistent time set aside in your life to take captive every thought? If not, what can you do to set aside 20 minutes a day to read God’s word and wrestle with these thoughts? Our thoughts could potentially be true thoughts from God or they could be lies from the enemy. By taking every thought captive and comparing it with God’s word, we can know what is truth and what is a lie.

Take a moment and think about this question: Do you want the truth? Do you really want to know the truth about what Jesus says about you? You will never fully know the truth if you do not want it.

What else from the podcast spoke to you?

What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you?  What’s God asking you to do?  What does He want to give you?  What does He want you to lay down?

RESOURCES

• Lies Men Believe, Robert Wolgemuth

• Live No Lies,  John Mark Comer

NEXT STEPS 

• Join a Group at southland.church/groups

• For any other questions or comments email [email protected]

God has hardwired all of us for biblical community. One of God’s greatest gifts are his people. It’s found in doing life with others. All men need this. Every man should experience this. We never graduate from the need for community and accountability. When we leverage the power of community, it helps us to deepen our faith, make us more like Jesus and empowers us to live our lives on mission.

This week on the podcast, Scott and our guests John Sampson and Matt Williams sit down at the table to talk about group life: getting into a group by taking a step out of a row on the weekend to experience community with other men, and building solid, healthy relationships with other guys.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

What was the first time you remember feeling part of a community or a group? (Examples could include being on a sports team growing up, participating in a school extracurricular, living in a college dorm, etc.)

What has been your experience with finding community with people who follow Jesus? Has it been difficult?

For guys in a group, what held you back from joining a group before joining a group?

For guys who are not in a group, what is currently holding you back?

Read Proverbs 13:20 and 18:24. Who we let into our lives is an important decision that we sometimes don’t consciously make. However, it is important to think through who we let speak into our lives. What are some characteristics of people you would want to be in community with? Are you also attempting to live out those characteristics?

Read James 5:16. Biblical community is a space in our life where we can be vulnerable; we can’t heal from what is hidden. The Bible calls for Jesus followers to confess their sins to one another and to pray for one another. We must be men who confess to one another and pray for one another. What needs to be confessed in your life to another Jesus follower? Who is another man that you can be praying for?

Read Romans 12:15. Biblical community isn’t exclusively about sharing what’s going wrong in your life. Biblical community is also about having fun and rejoicing with your community--to celebrate when celebration is called for. What are some fun ways you can connect with your community? (Host a bonfire, share a meal together, get outside.)

Sometimes when a group has met for a while, expectations can be forgotten. If you’re in a group, what expectations need to be reset for your group to be the best group possible?

Most of the time we don’t have the margin to add another thing to our already busy schedules. However, there are probably some things in your life that are taking up your time and aren’t as beneficial as joining a group. By saying “no” to certain things, we can say “yes” to joining a group. What are some areas of your life that you need to say “no” to in order to make time for biblical community?

Question for those who are not in a group: What questions do you still have about joining a group? What can you do this week to find answers to those questions? Make a goal that by the end of the week you’ve found your answers.

Question for those who are in a group: What can your group do to shake things up a little bit? Is there someone you can serve in your group? Do you guys want to start serving together? Do you want to find something fun to do as a group?

What else from the podcast spoke to you?

What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you?  What’s God asking you to do?  What does He want to give you?  What does He want you to lay down?

NEXT STEPS 

• Join a Group at southland.church/groups

• For any other questions or comments email [email protected]

Boundaries are easy to see in the physical world: fences to define property, lines in the road to define lanes, and boundaries at a sporting event to define what is in and out-of-bounds. Physical boundaries are for our good, and for the good of those around us.

In our spiritual, relational, and emotional worlds, boundaries are just as real, but often harder to see. Establishing healthy boundaries increases our ability to love, interact, lead and care for others in a way that God is honored. It also empowers us to have healthy hearts and healthy relationships.

Join us for today’s episode where we dive in on the power of establishing healthy boundaries.

DISCUSSION GUIDE

If you could go back and relive one moment of your life, what would it be and why? If you had to forget one moment of your life, what would it be?

Scott mentions that healthy boundaries do two things. (1) They protect what belongs to us and what's under our care and concern. (2) They keep the wrong things out and the wrong people out. What are some examples of both of these purposes for setting up healthy boundaries? What do we need to protect? What do we need to keep out? Are what we need to protect and what we need to keep out related to either memory you would relive or forget?

Sometimes hindsight is the best teacher. Has there ever been a time when you wish you had set up a boundary that might have protected you or someone you care about?

After listening to the episode, on a scale of 1-10, how important did you think healthy boundaries were? Do your current boundaries, or lack of boundaries, reflect your answer?

Read Ephesians 5:15-17 | How can setting healthy boundaries with others help us to make the most of every situation as Paul is encouraging us to do?

It isn’t always natural for men to set boundaries. We don’t always think about them, and we end up in situations where we realize we need to set a boundary. Are there any areas in your life where you may need to set up a boundary to protect what is most important? What area is that?

Read Proverbs 4:23 | Setting boundaries cannot be an optional thing we do. It is something we HAVE to do. What specific boundary do we need to set in order to protect ourselves and those we care about?

Who can you ask in your life to help hold you accountable to the necessary healthy boundaries that you are going to set up? Maybe your wife, your roommate, your small group? Set up a plan to talk to them right now.

Many of us probably wish there was someone in our lives at some point who could have pointed out the need for setting a healthy boundary? Is there anyone in your life that might benefit from being told about the need to set healthy boundaries? Can you be the person to gently point them in the right direction?

What else from the podcast spoke to you?

What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you?  What’s God asking you to do?  What does He want to give you?  What does He want you to lay down?

RECOMMENDED BOOKS

• Boundaries, Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

• 9 Things You Simply Must Do, Dr. Henry Cloud

• Boundaries For Leaders, Dr. Henry Cloud

• Necessary Endings, Dr. Henry Cloud

NEXT STEPS 

• Sign up for Men’s Retreat (October 18-20) at southland.church/men

• Join a Group at southland.church/groups

• For any other questions or comments email [email protected]