In this episode of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, Marisa speaks with Michael McPherson, author, speaker, and small business owner on a mission to powerfully upgrade men and women’s relationships to sex and understanding of sex energy.

In this episode, Marisa and Michael cover topics that people often shy away from: intimacy, sexual identity and our relationships to sex, our sexual energy (and what that is!), porn, and shame.

Highlights From The Episode:

[2:30] MM – “I originally turned to pornography as a means to educate myself and learn… but that started a really long, probably about a 10-year, 15-year journey for me that really took me through the wringer. I had thwarted relationships to sex, thwarted relationships to women… I was incredibly distracted by my mind’s fantasies, by the way my mind was basically trained to objectify women.”

[3:30] MM – “If you know anything about union, [it] will mirror any unfinished business you have with yourself.”

[3:35] MM – “People shy away from this subject [sex] for a reason. There’s a lot of density there. There’s a lot of darkness there. There’s a lot of trauma.”

[5:30] MM – “Instead of waiting around for someone to start the conversation with me, [I thought], why don’t I start the conversation?”

[6:05] MM – “It was my intention to start a conversation that wasn’t being had. Rather than introduce a new form of dogma, let’s just loosen up things a bit. Let’s just get to a place where we can actually heal in this area, to experience the miraculousness of having an empowered relationship to sex and our sex energy.”

[10:30] MM – “The most empowering thing and powerful thing we can do for our children is to heal our own relationship to sex. So that when things like this do arise, we can come from it from a more genuine place, rather than coming from our own personal wounds, our own personal history, our own personal fears, our own personal shame.”

[11:45] MM – “Doing the internal work ourselves to open up access as parts of ourselves, to come into a place of wholeness going to create a sense of safety that we need in our environments with our children for them to have their innocent experience [with sex]… The absolute best thing we can do is our own healing work. I think that’s the level of self-responsibility that’s really required if we’re going to have a healthy dynamic with sex that we’re going to pass on to future generations.”

[13:10] MD – “When we face the most shameful and most difficult moments, and we bring them out into the forefront, then that’s where we get the truest amount of healing.”

[13:15] MM – “When someone leans in with vulnerability, it typically has a heart-opening effect on us. It has us lean in, open our hearts, and really hear them.”

[14:50] MM – “We’re the ones that have to live with all the unspoken things that still hang over our heads. It does impact our interpersonal dynamics. It definitely impacts our ability to experience freedom in our relationships, to be who we are authentically and be met there.”

[15:45] MD – “There [are] differing opinions about what ‘strength’ is. Men get caught up in porn, or they get caught up in the idea of dominance, or [that] strength looks a certain way.”

[16:15] MM – “When I say ‘take back your power’ I’m really talking about sex energy… No one ever taught me about my sex energy. No one ever taught me how to harness it and channel it, in an empowering, constructive way. And that’s true for most men.”

[17:20] MM – “[Porn] puts us into a trance, and in that trance, the imagery, the video, the explicit content that we’re watching is actually getting imprinted into our subconscious mind… What most men don’t realize is the context that they have for women and sex is primarily based on that imprinting that they receive.”

[18:50] MM – “At puberty, we get exposure to sexuality—and mostly explicit sexuality—[and that]… overlapped with sex energy. Two things that are fundamentally different become one in the same.”

[19:30] MM – “Men aren’t actually addicted to the nudity in porn, they’re addicted to the novelty, the continual newness.”

[21:10] MM – “It’s entertainment. It’s actors…characters that are playing a role meant to get us off. It’s not real. But we end up devoting our creative life force energy—something that’s so precious, so sacred—to a false reality. To a synthetic reality. And then we never learn otherwise.”

[25:00] MM – “[People] are choosing to continue to watch porn, for instance, because it’s actually an excuse to keep themselves small. It’s a reason, a justifiable reason, for keeping ourselves small and not actually taking our power back and harnessing this energy for everything that it can actually deliver to us, for all the ways it can actually contribute to us in our day to day life.”

[25:25] MM – “And that’s actually where I’m really desiring to take men: Let’s unpack the past and really understand how we got here today. But let’s not stop there. Let’s actually recover our innocence and re-commune with this energy—our sacred sex energy—in a new way, from where we are now. And that’s really what taking our power back is.”

[28:00] MD – “Taking back the power—I just love that phrase because… it puts the ball in our court. We have the ability to step into the identity that we were given, and the energy that we were given, and the power that we were given, and not let the craziness of the world, and what society deems as ‘attractive’ or ‘beautiful… define the way we see our relationships and our interactions with others.”

[29:30] MD – “Sex is such an integral part of our lives… there’s so much shame around it. But, really, it’s supposed to be a beautiful thing for people in union. It’s supposed to be something that is a part of the human experience.”

[30:15] MD -“We are sexual beings and we crave the intimacy and closeness of other people, and connections to others. And that’s not something that is inherently wrong. It’s how we approach it, and how we treat one another in the pursuit of it. That’s what needs to change.”

[31:10] MM -“Sex is the perfect analogy for life: How much pleasure can you allow yourself to receive in the lovemaking space from someone you love? And that’s really going to be a mirror for how much pleasure you allow yourself to receive in life. How deep can you go? How present can you be?”

[32:50] MM – “Vulnerability is not just sharing the scary things; it’s actually allowing ourselves to show how much we’re being moved by an experience, or by a person, by our loved ones.”

[34:15] MM – “When you approach lovemaking from a space of ‘What can I give?’ What can I bring to this space? What amount of energy, what amount of intention, what amount of love? It totally changes the dynamic of the space.”

[35:40] MM – “It’s called making love because we’re actually creating love. And energy has a ripple effect. When you create love within your union, you create love within the world.”

[40:10] MM – “Trust that if you step forward and initiate your own healing—and especially start to share about your shame—that you’re going to be caught in that. And your reputation is not only going to be fine, but it’s going to improve.”

https://marisadonnelly.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Ep.-59-Unpacking-Intimacy-Sex-Energy-ft.-Michael-McPherson.mp4

Resources:

• Michael’s book, Everything You Never Learned About Sex
• Michael’s social media: Instagram & huMANity Podcast
• Michael’s businesses: REQUESTbar & KAKAO Ceremonial Drinking Chocolate

For more episodes of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, click here.
You can also subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, iHeart Radio, or Spotify!

In this episode of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, Marisa Donnelly welcomes good friend and Founder & CEO of PlaneAhead, Alex Malebranche. In this episode, both Alex and Marisa dive into the foundations of being a founder: What it means to start your own company, find (true) work-life balance, create healthy boundaries, and allocate your time to all the things and people you love. Alex also talks about the challenges of starting a small business in a time of travel restrictions and how his dive into business ownership shifted his vision of family and fatherhood.

Highlights From the Episode:

[2:45] “My foundation for working hard and what I needed to do in order to get my family to a place that they were going to be comfortable really started from that place of seeing my mom work so hard.”

[3:55] “I was actually on paternity leave on one of my corporate jobs, this year in 2021, and I was trying to save some money on a flight—because, you know, having those more those humble beginnings, even though I made some good money in my career in tech, I still have some of those same habits—so, dollars on a ticket… and I realized I saved a few hundred dollars.”

[4:40] “I started working at PlaneAhead, really so I [could] take advantage of the changing rules and expectations as far as travel goes now. And give the opportunities to people like myself who are looking to stretch their dollar a little further.”

[5:50] “PlaneAhead is the first company of its kind that, so far, that takes full advantage of no-change fees. So, how we do that, is we track purchased itineraries for members of ours, and as their itinerary goes down in price, we actually exchange the tickets automatically for them, and then send them the airline credits back from the change.”

[6:15] “If I bought a ticket today from Houston to L.A., and it was $500 today and two months later it goes down to $300, we will exchange it on your behalf, and then you’ll get an email from PlaneAhead that says, ‘Hey, there’s $200 of credits on that trip that you booked.'”

[6:35] “When I started it I was really focused on millennials that are my age as well as families that are strapped for time, strapped for resources. Pay $100 for the year and we take care of all of that… You sign up and we’ll take it from there.”

[9:00] “It’s one thing to start a business… now, imagine [starting] this in the middle of the global travel pandemic!”

[10:20] “I think people don’t realize the frequency of the changes from the airline perspective/how many times they change, and they also don’t realize how greatly they fluctuate… Before this opportunity, with what PlaneAhead is doing, we wouldn’t have known that.”

[11:25] “The hardest part has just been understanding what my boundaries are as a person, and what I mean by that is, all of us have twenty-four hours in the day, and so I need to allocate that effectively and efficiently.”

[12:00] “Understanding my boundaries as a person [means] what can I allocate for business, what can I allocate for time with my family, and what can I allocate for sleep?”

[12:15] “The tradeoff that I’ve got to consider every single day, and I gladly do, is I’m going to forgo sleep and some of the things that would make me comfortable so that I can spend allocated time with my family. And I do my entrepreneurial stuff through the night.”

[13:00] “When it comes to splitting your time as a founder or when you’re at a startup company, there’s this stigma (and rightfully so) that you’re just going to work 16-18 hours of a day, especially at this early stage… so I make sure to tell employees that it’s my company,  it’s my job to take that burden on. Anybody that comes on should be able to have work-life balance that is healthy and works like them.”

[13:20] “That work-life balance for me exists, but in order for me to be successful in the way that I want for my company, as the founder, the tradeoff that I have to make is with getting the sleep that I would normally want. That’s a tradeoff that I’m willing to do, but it’s all about understanding what my boundaries are.”

[14:40] “I’m doing all of these things and hustling for all these things so that my family can be a priority. So, I don’t want to lose the value and priority of the family in the hustle of trying to make it happen.”

[15:05] “For any future entrepreneurs or want-to-be-entrepreneurs, the most important thing that you need to have is a support system. And if you’re in a relationship or in a marriage, having a spouse be as supportive and as passionate as you are is critical.”

[16:15] “It’s about making sure that you’re going through the journey so that you can get to the end goal for your family, but continuing to prioritize them every single day so that when you get to that end goal, you’re actually able to enjoy it.”

[17:00] “I think it’s critical to make sure to remember that in the midst of the journey, there are those things that need to remain consistently on the top of your mind.”

[19:05] “I think that [with you] support system, communication is critical when you’re talking about avoiding burnout because they’re there to support you.”

[20:50] “I’ve never been happier or more excited about the work that I do until I started my own business. And it’s because I’m truly passionate about what I’m doing as opposed to being paid to carry out of a mission that’s somebody else’s.”

[22:30] “Travel, for me, is a binding agent for me and my family; it creates those memories. So, to hear stories about how I’m doing that for other families is super exciting for me.”

[24:05] “You have to find the joy in the every day in what you do and who you’re around. Those are just great lessons for overall life happiness.”

[24:30] “A part of me thought, and maybe because of how I grew up, that being financially well off was the goal. And that was what was going to bring the happiness that I’m looking for. But really, it’s the financial part that provides the bit of freedom to do what you’re actually passionate about.”

[28:05] “It doesn’t require money to be a part of the journey. We want you to know that we’re providing value to customers who want to travel. And if you’re one of those people that likes to travel, let’s try to provide value for you!”

Get Connected:

The foundations of PlaneAhead are simple: Make travel easier, smarter, and possible. PlaneAhead is a company on a mission to help individuals and families experience what it means to have ‘stressLESS’ travel experiences. The process is easy: You purchase a membership (for only $99/year), book flights directly on the airline websites, send your itineraries to [email protected], and then when the price of the flights drops, the PlaneAhead team will send you credits for future adventures!

To learn more, head to the PlaneAhead website.
You can also follow the company on social:

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Twitter

To hear more episodes of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, head to the podcast page.

In this episode of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, host Marisa Donnelly dives into conversation with Allison Davis, award-winning wedding photographer and creator of Revealed at the Edge, a fine art photography coffee table book of the American West Coast she created in the heart of the global pandemic.

Highlights From the Episode:

[5:20] “At the beginning of 2020, I was praying about how to use my time… I was praying about what personal projects I could do… I was thinking about doing a sunrise or sunset project, and honestly, the wheels just started going.”

[5:50] “What if I photographed the whole coastline of California? And I was like, well, why even stop there? What if I could do the whole West Coast? I thought about it, and… I thought that sounds really hard… and kind of awesome.”

[6:20] “Here’s my time to pursue creating—let’s see what I come up with.”

[7:10] “My whole quest was just to seek what I could find at the edge—what would be revealed to me by pursuing beauty, by spending time with God, by spending time in creation, and seeing what I could find.”

[7:50] “It’s really easy, as a photographer, to take pictures on a really beautiful day…that’s easy. I love that I was challenging myself to pursue beauty, and pursue ‘pretty’ in unideal circumstances. And that’s what this book is: it’s this pursuit of beauty.”

[9:00] “Everything you just shared about searching for beauty in devastating times, it’s a huge metaphor—not only for this pandemic but for life itself. Sometimes we go through things or we experience change, or loss, or heartbreak, or whatever it is. And when you’re in that painful moment, that’s all you see… But it’s incredible what’s often revealed or brought to the surface.”

[10:05] “You cataloged a time when the whole world was in stillness, but in pain.”

[10:50] “I was actively pursuing writing a new story for my life. I wasn’t going to let the circumstances of what’s happened to me in the past continue to define me, and my life, and who I am amongst my friends and my community.”

[11:20] “I didn’t want my story to be ‘The pandemic took away my wedding photography business. And I had to get a job. And I lost everything I loved as an entrepreneur and creative. And I didn’t take any risks. And I didn’t do anything with all the time given to me.’ I didn’t want that to be my story at all.”

[11:35] “I didn’t want to sit back and let the world take away so much away from me. So, I actively pursued a new story. And I love the story I’m writing right now. And I love it because I don’t know where it’s going to end, where it’s going to take me.”

[12:40] “There’s still an opportunity to figure out what life is pushing you towards or calling you to do. There’s always an opportunity to pivot… or take risks, make change happen, reflect on the things you have or don’t have. And use that to move forward.”

[13:45] “Sometimes when you’re frozen and stuck in the middle of something, then nothing’s going to change. Even taking a step [in] what felt like the wrong direction, was actually a step that led me to the right direction. I find that just making moves and doing something can create change. [And] that can lead you to something completely different. It’s being open to the possibilities and not trying to hold the script of your life so tightly.”

[16:10] “I drove up from San Diego to Blaine, Washington… I took three days to drive straight there. I did as much coastal as I could…I took twenty-seven days to drive south. My routine for the day was to wake up for sunrise, shoot sunrise if it was there, write, and then start shooting the different spots that I would pin the day before. I marked 70 locations that I would photograph, and at the end of each day, I would plan the next day’s route.”

[17:40] “When I finished the trip, I had photographed 28,000 images and I had 7,000 images I wanted to edit.”

[23:30] “What COVID has brought to the forefront, is the [idea that the] prioritization of passion needs to be there.”

[24:20] “Typically landscape photographers, what they do is they spend 1-3 months in the location they’re wanting to photograph. And they wait — for the right moment, with the right light, with the right clouds, with the right conditions. And they basically plant themselves in one place. And for me, I just never felt like that was true to life. I’d always see these beautiful landscapes and think, ‘The world never looks like that all the time. And I wanted to bring this authenticity and realness to what the coast looks like.”

[25:15] “It was this constant pursuit of authentic beauty that I wanted to bring to the book. And I was able to refine my vision as an artist, and my heart as an artist, in creating this project and executing it in a way… [that] what I’m putting forth is a real and authentic experience of what traveling the West Coast would look like.”

[26:30] “There’s beauty, even on the ugly days. There’s beauty in the pandemic. There’s beauty in loss, and fire, and all of these things. I love that you took an authentic journey and captured that authentic journey.”

[27:45] “The water, and hearing the waves… It’s really that feeling of coming home, in a sense, to this place that isn’t even your home because it’s so limitless… It’s just this deep, profound connection — a grounding to the universe.”

[28:00] “Part of my point of view, as an artist, is that when I look at a landscape, I see and can see, how it can be a reflection of the state of our heart or the state of our soul.”

[29:05] “I see this jaggedness, and it’s still really beautiful… My hope is that people connect with the landscapes, that they connect with words in it and maybe that’s how they identify where they are in their life, and their journey, and their heart.”

[29:40] “When you’re tapped into your creative purpose and something you’re passionate about, it just flows.”

[33:00] “Whatever our story is, there’s something universally true about what is revealed to us and the beauty that we can find in so many different moments of life.”

Learn More About Revealed At The Edge:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb12X2Ducbg
Follow Allison and her journey on the Revealed at the Edge website and Instagram!
Support the mission and purchase the book on Kickstarter! [Information here! Kickstarter ends August 23, 2021!]
Check out Allison’s Instagram, Facebook, and website.

Recommended Resources:

• The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity
• Coursera’s ‘The Science of Well-Being’ Course [Read more about it here!]
• Creative Live (Where Allison explored new photography elements)
• Lampstand Story Company [See Allison’s video here!]

https://marisadonnelly.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Ep.57-Revealed-at-the-Edge-ft.-Allison-Davis-2.mp4

In this episode of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, Marisa chats with Laura K. Roe, yoga/meditation teacher, author, and mother of two, about embracing imperfection, balancing different areas of ‘work’ alongside motherhood, and learning how to give yourself permission to pursue your dreams. 

Highlights From The Episode:

[6:10] “I think yoga helped me get brave and keep following my heart.”

[6:20] “We don’t really have linear journeys.”

[6:30] “A lot of times when you’re trying to figure out what type of writing you want to lean into, or, you know, what’s going to pay the bills versus what you love… it’s a back-and-forth journey of taking sometimes weird jobs and trying to figure it out along the way.”

[6:50] “From our websites, everybody looks amazing but it’s awesome when you can dig into someone’s story… There’s still that backstory of that struggle and I think it’s that struggle that really makes us… who we really are and really makes our craft what it is.”

[7:45] “Developing characters is not something that you can just drop into easily.”

[8:05] “If I’m in my fear and I’m in my head, and I’m worried about what you think or what everyone else thinks, then I can’t do that brain dump… First drafts are always crap.”

[8:35] “If I give up on the first draft or the first book, that may or may not succeed, then I’m not really learning my lesson. Which is repeat owning your craft.”

[8:50] “It’s not about winning or losing, it’s just being brave and showing up to be seen. And having no control over the outcome. And that’s like loving someone without expectations. It takes a lot of courage and it’s strength.”

[9:10] “I stepped out of my strength when I gave up on my fiction when I listened to other people who said, ‘You can’t be a mom and do this,’ or, ‘You need to stay with this full-time editing job.'”

[10:00] “Artists do what they need to do in order to have that stability to keep pursuing their art.”

[10:30] “It’s really about figuring out what you’re passionate about, what you care about, what really feels right. And it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be linear, or easy, or perfect. But it’s really just saying, ‘Yeah, I want this for myself. I want these things for myself.’ And leaning into the fear.”

[11:10] “This podcast was actually born of the challenges, saying, ‘Let’s do this live with minimal editing and be really raw about my experience and the people that I bring on the show. And that’s leaning into that fear.”

[11:40] “I think that’s what vulnerability is – leaning into that fear and discovering that on the other side of that fear is who you really are.”

[11:50] “Where there is fear there is not love.”

[12:10] “If I lean into my feeling and I’m really anxious and fearful, then I’m outside of my center… That’s when I need to take a jog, or a walk, or clear my head.”

[12:40] “Outside voices not supporting you – they are the voices to not talk to about your dreams. Full stop.”

[13:00] “Acknowledge that when you get quiet and meditate, or if you’re running or biking, there’s something that happens… You start really embracing the vision.”

[13:35] “You’re not too old, you have something to say, and there’s enough time.”

[14:15] “I notice that if I talk about the anxiety and I talk about the fear, it revs up. And then I get further away from what I’m trying to do.”

[16:45] “We can actually accomplish a lot more than we think… and we also need more support. So finding ways to get support and ask for it – and to know that we deserve it – it’s just all part of our journey.”

[19:45] “When we’re centered and fulfilled, we’re better parents, we’re better spouses.”

[20:30] “People can pursue their passions, and they should pursue their passions. And there is a way to do that… But you can find ways – an hour here an hour there – you can find ways to incorporate it until you find the green lights to make it full-time. There’s always a way.”

[21:30] “I think whenever we come from an authentic place, it resonates with someone else. I really believe that… It’s just bird by bird, little by little. You can do things if this is where your passion lies.”

[24:00] “I give myself deadlines and that helps. I have a few writing partners that I check in with that really helps. [And] I surround myself, mentally, with people that I really admire.”

[24:40] “It’s important to surround yourself with people who have been brave enough to keep moving towards their dreams because it gives you the permission to do the same.”

[25:50] “We have to flow in life and be flexible about it. And we have to give up perfection.”

[27:30] “Us women – we have the ability to flow – and we need to embrace that. Because we are such flexible creatures.”

[29:15] “You have enough time. And if you need help, you’re worthy and deserving of it. Ask for it.”

[31:30] “Any dream that we have is usually rooted into a sea of our intuition. And some will succeed and some won’t, but the journey [is] what’s awesome.”

https://marisadonnelly.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Episode-56-Give-Yourself-The-Permission-To-Pursue.mp4

Recommended Resources:

• Laura mentioned this Brené Brown quote:”Daring greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage.”
• She talked about the book, The War On Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles 
• She also mentions her book, The Art Of Flow, and other connection points on her website!
• If you’re interested in the September 2021 retreat in Maui, you can learn more about it right here!

For more episodes of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, click here.
You can also subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, iHeart Radio, or Spotify!

In this episode of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, Marisa connects with Janine Lopiano, cofounder of Sputnik Futures and Alice in Futureland (with Joanne De Luca) to talk about their new book, “Tuning Into Frequency: The Invisible Force that Heals Us and the Planet.” In this episode, Marisa and Janine talk about what it means to ‘tune in’ to your own frequencies to find healing, acceptance, and strength.

Highlights From The Episode:

[2:10] “The idea of ‘tuning into frequencies’ is becoming that much more aware of your presence, of your essence having an energy field.”

[4:20] “We are walking in a sea of electromagnetic frequencies.”

[6:20] “Tuning into frequencies is really understanding that energy is everywhere – from light and sunlight/lights around you, to sound, to electromagnetic waves that surround us.”

[9:45] “When you give yourself a moment of peace, or joy, or passion, you’re actually giving yourself a release of oxytocin in the brain.”

[13:25] “Even when we’re home and distancing, your emotions are connected through your Instagram, and your Facebook, and your TikTok, and your family networks. And you, in turn, can affect your friends and your friends’ friends up to three degrees or more of separation.”

[14:10] “Practice these micro-moments of self-compassion. Give yourself a moment to tune your awareness into your body. Hear your heartbeat, like really sit and listen to your heartbeat.”

[15:10] “We know that music is the universal language. We take it for granted, in a way, sometimes. The sounds around us, the music we play – there is some very, very serious research into sound and how sound will be our medicine in the future.”

[15:25] “One of the biggest things we’ve learned from these experts is that everyone has their own sound. It’s almost like a sonic fingerprint. And if you understand your own sound, you can actually heal yourself [and] you can actually find a moment of bliss.”

[17:20] “Music is the way that you can feel you are healing through frequency.”

[27:20] “Healing with the biofield and energetic healing can be a very validated alternative, and/or a first go-to in a healing process instead of going to the doctor… and taking a pill for pain or for depression. Perhaps we just need to re-tune, if you will, our bodies to resonate with us and with everything around us.”

https://marisadonnelly.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Episode-55-Tuning-Into-Frequencies-ft.-Janine-Lopiano.mp4

Recommended Resources:

Janine mentioned so many incredible people in the research/scientific fields! Here are a few, plus ways to connect with her and her co-founder, Joanne De Luca:

• Dr. Jeffery Thompson: Healing the body through mind, heart, soul and spirit
• Dr. John Beaulieu: BioSonic Repatterning
• Connect with Janine and her partner, Joanne, on their website!
• Check out Janine & Joanne’s books, Tuning Into Frequency and Hacking Immortality, as well as their Alice in Futureland Podcast
• You can also follow Janine & Joanne on Instagram and LinkedIn!

For more episodes of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, click here.
You can also subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, iHeart Radio, or Spotify!

In this episode of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, Marisa connects with Tim Ringgold MT-BC—a speaker, author, and music therapist—to discuss the healing power of music. In Episode 54, they discuss pain and healing, high and low moments of life, and how music (or whatever else we listen to) can become a powerful catalyst for energy, healing, and self-love.

Highlights from the Episode:

[1:45] “Music was just this wonderful expression, it was this form of entertainment, education… but it wasn’t really until I hit rock bottom that I really let the real power of music be revealed.”

[2:45] “I’m twenty-two. It’s April 18th, 1995, and while I’m at a concert (ironically, shouting my head off to music), about ten minutes away, my five best friends were just murdered.”

[3:50] “No amount of drugs, alcohol, porn food… like, I’d tried all of it, I’d stack behaviors to try to numb the pain. Nothing worked all week. But the music did. And since that moment, basically, I dedicated my life to helping others reach for music in their lowest and toughest times.”

[6:15] “Grief is qualitative, not quantitative.”

[7:20] “I think that’s just how we are, as a culture. We don’t know what to do with it [grief]. And complex grief, of course, then we just bury because no one talks about it. No one wants to share it. And we live in such a happy-obsessed culture that we don’t want to process it. But that doesn’t mean it goes away; it’s just a scab. So then you have something else happen later and it triggers the unprocessed grief from before on top of the current grief.”

[8:05] “Sometimes life sends you such a challenge you can’t ignore it, and you can’t pretend, and you can’t attempt to rely on your existing coping skills to solve the current problem because the problem is literally too intense.”

[9:00] “Our body changes gear almost instantly when processing music.”

[9:30] “Think about the time music saved you – and automatically people have a story… This is a very common experience. We have all been the recipient of the transformative power, the healing power of music.”

[10:25] “How do you use music, not to just entertain yourself, but to really get by? How has music helped you get through? How has music helped you get over, or get past, or get beyond?”

[10:40] “What’s beautiful is that my music does the same thing for me as your music does for you.”

[12:20] “For me… music has always been such a release. I don’t have to put on a front, I don’t have to take care of anybody, I don’t have to look, or feel, or act, or be a certain way. I’m able to just show up and listen and that’s such a weight lifted. And with the pandemic, not having the ability to do that in the same capacity… it’s just so different.”

[13:20] “The live music is the energy that the artists are physically just generating through the music that we, as the audience, feel in that moment. Because we are in the same time and the shared space. It’s a shared moment. And being human is a shared experience. So there’s this humanness in the collective giving and receiving and music for the audience, and then the audience giving it back.”

[15:30] “The psychological effects of engaging in live music-making. It creates an altered state of consciousness for the body. It doesn’t just regulate the nervous system and bring it to a relaxed state. It creates a transcendent state.”

[21:20] “Music is this unconditional, authentic voice in our life. And so we trust it, oftentimes when we don’t trust people. That connection is still alive and strong, and it’s really important right now for people to reach for their music, and stay connected, one-on-one, with their music.”

[25:20] “Our screens are designed to capture and keep our attention for longer and longer periods of time. So what happens when we get stressed? We reach for something. That’s the stress response. We want to self-soothe. And so screens are the easiest way to self-soothe.”

[26:50] “Let’s reach for music instead. Let’s go on a fifteen-minute, guided journey. The slow-tempo music will slow down your nervous system. The prompts will take you back to someplace where your nervous system was at a peak state, you’ll experience it like it’s reality, and you’ll come back at your best.”

[30:05] “We use music as an escape, but we don’t use it all the time intentionally.”

[31:40] “Perhaps thinking about music in this different way and using it as a vehicle for healing, as a vehicle for a different mindset could be really powerful.”

[33:25] “You don’t need to be musical, you don’t need to consider yourself a musician. But when you bring the music on center stage, even as a fan, and the music takes the stage – that can just be, in the moment, what you need.”

[33:50] “Think of your music as a part of your self-care toolkit.”

[38:30] “How are we being intentional with what we have? Maybe it’s different, maybe it sucks, maybe it’s incredibly difficult… but how can we be intentional with what we have? With people? With relationships? With music?”

[39:00] “How can we be active listeners? How can we music as a tool rather than something in the background?”

https://marisadonnelly.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/The-Healing-Power-of-Music-with-Tim-Ringgold.mp4

Recommended Resources:

• Check out Tim’s website to learn more about the healing power of music! While you’re there, sign up for the free “Relaxation Vacation!”
• Take a listen to his Podcast and follow him on Instagram & Facebook!

For more episodes of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, click here.
You can also subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, iHeart Radio, or Spotify!

In this episode of VulnerABILITY, Marisa connects with Natassia Ponomarenko, the twenty-something CEO of NastyFit & Founder of Connectful to talk about building dreams and keeping momentum as a young, female entrepreneur. All before age twenty-five, Natassia has created two successful businesses, created space for business owners to connect both virtually and in-person, and has broken barriers (and glass ceilings) everywhere.

Highlights From the Episode:

[2:00] “Age does not matter. You can start something great when you’re fifteen [or] when you’re fifty — it really doesn’t matter.”

[4:15] “I just wanted to be my own boss… wanted to create my own things. I had some money saved up, so I just started.”

[6:15] “It’s really, really important to surround yourself with people who share the same mindset that you have, people who are equal to you mindset-wise… and people who are better than you so you can learn from them as well.”

[7:50] “You want to find other people who ‘get it’ and are aligned in the mission.”

[9:45] “That’s the differentiator between who actually achieves something or who dreams but doesn’t actually turn them into actions… It’s action.”

[10:45] “Write it out. Write out what you want to do, because even doing that will help you. Even doing that will set you off to the next stepping stone.”

[11:30] “A) Write down exactly what you want to start. B) Start executing. I think from A to B, what people miss, is the ‘Googling’ part. I think a lot of people don’t take advantage of Google.”

[12:15] “All of the information is already out there and I think that people just aren’t using their resources because honestly, if you had a great enough drive, you would execute.”

[12:45] “Keep the momentum going because when you take the next step, and then the next step, and the next, you start building momentum, which starts creating into a habit, which starts creating discipline for yourself. And that’s what’s really important to do otherwise you’re going to fall off and never actually end up pursuing it.”

[14:40] “There [are] thousands of other people without mentors, millions of other people without it — millions, thousands — of successful people who have done it without any help. So what makes you think that you need somebody to help you out?”

[15:30] “Nobody can coach you through it if you’re not really committed to wanting to do it in the first place.”

[15:35] “Mentorship is not hand-holding. At all.”

[15:50] “You don’t want to be a carbon-copy of somebody else’s journey.”

[21:30] “Here’s another reminder that you have to rest in order to be productive. You have to stop in order to fill your cup back up in order to keep going. It’s a constant cycle of giving yourself the energy to keep going.”

[26:40] “Plan out your week on Sunday night. Your week really starts on Sunday; it does not start on Monday. If you think it starts on Monday, then you’ve kind of already lost half your day.”

Recommended Resources/Link:

If you’d like to connect with Nastassia, you can follow her on Instagram, or follow the accounts: NastyFit and Connectful! To learn more about Nastassia’s businesses, you can find them here: NastyFit & Connectful.

You can also download the Connectful app!

Head to our main page for more episodes of VulnerABILITY!

What does it mean to ’embrace the shift’? In this episode of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, host Marisa Donnelly welcomes Deena Von Yokes, founder of Studio Savvy Salon in San Diego, California to talk about overcoming obstacles and leaning into change (especially in the wake of COVID-19).

Deena, like many business owners during the pandemic, has faced pain, frustration, and the unexpected. In this episode, she candidly speaks about her experiences and what she’s learned. She also shares advice for others who may be feeling disconnected or looking to leave their comfort zones.

Highlights From the Episode:

[4:40] “I’m starting to recognize that in order to grow my business and have it grow into a path that really makes sense, and helps others, and trains others, is to get myself out from behind the chair more.”

[6:00] “People are going to leave… nine years, two years, whatever it is. They’re going to move into a new spectrum for them. And you need to keep being a good mentor and good trainer and bringing new ones in.”

[6:15] “There are so many options you can do with your career. If don’t like one option, there’s another.”

[6:50] “For the longest time, I felt I needed to choose an avenue and stick with it. But what I’ve learned, recently, is that it’s good to try all those different things and see what you like. And sometimes even do multiple things (within reason, of course).”

[7:20] “Sometimes it’s just good to try everything… and then you’ll figure it out.”

[8:15] “I think that the biggest thing is to continue to look for inspiration in your industry.”

[12:20] “It’s a testament to you as a leader if you’re having people leave and create their own businesses. [If that happens], then you were obviously leading in a great way. Enough that somebody says, ‘Yeah, I can do this, too.'”

[13:10] “I’m a firm believer that there’s power in numbers, and when you work as a team, you can create these amazing things that you would not be able to do on your own.”

[14:25] “I am all about energy breeds energy, and I want to be around people so that we can keep inspiring one another.”

[14:40] “[Solo] energy is great, but there’s something to be said for the energy of community.”

[21:00] “Things aren’t always going to go our way. And there’s always going to be something good and new that comes out of it. Sometimes we just have to shift and look at it from a different angle.”

[21:30] “You don’t have to make people wrong in order to make a shift in your life.”

[22:45] “For anyone who’s listening and wants to make a change, if they’re trying to leave somewhere, leave with love. You don’t have to leave with finding something wrong and then [thinking] it’s easier to go.”

[23:40] “You were where you were for a certain amount of time, and that has value, even if it doesn’t fit anymore.”

[25:00] “If you go and dig really deep, we all have that fighting human spirit in us, and we can pick up all the pieces.”

[26:50] “Look for transformation in your life because it’s definitely there.”

https://marisadonnelly.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Episode-52-Embrace-The-Shift-Video.mp4

To listen to more episodes of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, click here.

What does it mean to be truly vulnerable? To show and be who you really are? These are the guiding questions for Episode 51 of VulnerABILITY, where host Marisa Donnelly welcomes Dan Munro, coach and author of The Naked Truth to talk about honesty and aligning with your true self. In a world so hell-bent on keeping secrets and running from pain, Dan is determined to break down barriers and help people see (and connect with) the core of themselves.

Highlights of the Episode:

[2:00] “The whole book is about revealing who you are – in a sense being ‘naked’ psychologically.”

[3:30] “When I say ‘nude’ or ‘vulnerable,’ I’m really talking about shamelessness – this revealing what you want to hide, revealing what you don’t think other people want to hear or see. It’s really important for us to reveal that stuff if we want to have high self-confidence, [and] if we want to show people who we really are.”

[4:15] “The only reason we would label [secrets].. the ‘worst,’ or ‘bad,’ or ‘wrong’ is because we’ve hidden them. It’s the nature of hiding things that turns it into shame.”

[4:50] “You know you’re shameless about something when it feels the same to talk about it as it does to talk about what you had for breakfast [or] what the weather is like today – that neutral emotional connect with it.”

[5:50] “We think that whatever we’re hiding is really big deal, but most people wouldn’t agree with us because they haven’t spent a lifetime hiding it.”

[6:50] “The more you are willing to talk about [your pain], the more you find healing… Bringing it to the open allows for healing and allows others to resonate with it as well, and say, ‘Oh, you know I’ve done something like that or I’ve gone through something like that, too. And now that you’ve talked about it openly, I have less shame. And now we’re healing together.”

[7:00] “People think a connection is based on good times… that’s not what deep connection is built on. Deep connection is based on revelation.”

[8:40] “That ‘not good enough’ story that plagues us – we create that by hiding things about ourselves. We’re the ones who decide something’s not good enough by keeping it a secret… See, if you share it, it must be good enough because it’s being shared.”

[10:05] “If you can’t fully acknowledge it and get rid of that underlying secret, how do you truly heal from it? Well, you don’t.”

[13:30] “I feel like people have stories that are worth sharing, and the more we can bring them to the light, the more we grow collectively.”

[13:45] “How do you really connect with people unless you’re willing to share where you’re coming from?… If we don’t challenge ourselves to share those things, we miss out on the depth of what life has to offer.”

[16:15] “Every time we pretend, other people see us do that. They think it’s the truth and that puts pressure on them to pretend even further themselves. And we kind of bounce off each other in this way.”

[18:10] “This is where our loneliness comes from. This is where pressure comes from. This is where not feeling good enough comes from. This is imposter syndrome, where you pretend to be strong than you actually are and then you feel like you have to live up to it. We’re doing all of this to ourselves by just the tiniest of white lies, just a little bit of hiding.”

[20:15] “We want to show our best selves, and while it’s okay to want to show our best selves, there’s the element of – What happens off the screen? And is that ever being acknowledged?”

[25:50] “You just let people polarize away from you with honesty.”

[26:15] “Ultimately, people-pleasing is the core of the issue. We’re raised to make other people feel good and comfortable. And we feel good and comfortable when we feel good and comfortable. And we have this constant pressure to never ruin that.”

[33:15] “What we can control is our behavior, including how honest we choose to be.”

[33:20] “Would you rather be positive or real? Because you’re going to have to choose between those two.”

[34:20] “We expect other people to be real with us, to share what’s really going. We expect them to be humans with faults and weaknesses. And yet we hold ourselves to [these] impossibly high standards. And only ourselves.”

[37:10] “Talk about how hard it is to be honest first.”

[38:45] “You make a list of all the things you hide, and every day you try to cross one off the list. Choose one, tell somebody, cross it off. And do that until the list is empty… It might take you the rest of your life. You might not ever empty the list. But everything you take off this list and put in the ‘Expressed Already’ category…the more weight that comes off your shoulders.”

[40:10] “I started with safe people. I practiced with my friends, and family, and the coworkers I trusted.”

[40:55] “One brick at a time you just rebuild your life.”

https://marisadonnelly.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Ep.-51-The-Naked-Truth.mp4

Recommended Resources:

Check out Dan’s book, The Naked Truth: Using Shameless Honesty to Enhance Your Confidence, Connections and Integrity. You can also get connected with Dan on his website, The Bro Jo or by

In this episode of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, Marisa Donnelly connects with Judith Martinez, Founder & CEO of In Her Shoes, and passionate thought leader committed to helping women recognize where they can grow by asking the question, “What would you do if you were just one percent more courageous?”

In this powerful back-and-forth, Marisa asks deep questions and Judith shares about her fears, her catalysts to change, and her ‘why’ behind building this platform, as well as where she plans to go next.

Highlights From The Episode:

[1:40] “Everything that we do and what we stand for is truly providing the modern woman a community for courage, to genuinely live and create a life that they love, one act of courage at a time.”

[2:00] “What would you do if you were just one percent more courageous?”

[3:50] “In Her Shoes takes on that second angle of yes, thinking about other people and what is it like to be in their shoes, but also, too, sometimes I think we forget what it’s like to be in our own shoes and our best future selves in this moment.”

[5:40] “I finally got the yes I had been chasing all my life only to realize that, when I was confronted with this yes, I just wanted to say no.”

[6:35] “If I wasn’t so afraid, what would I really want to do? And that’s really the beginnings of what really lead to In Her Shoes.”

[5:50] “Who are you when you’re not following that path anymore? …That’s a scary place to be and an even scarier thing to admit.”

[8:45] “Closing the door on law school and what I thought I needed to be in the world really opened up a whole new world of possibility of In Her Shoes and so many other things that I didn’t know about.”

[9:45] I think the scary part was bundled up into this big ‘yes’ I was chasing. What happens when you read that quote-on-quote ‘success’ and yet, you don’t feel the feelings that you’re told you should be feeling when you’re quote-on-quote ‘successful’… [There was] a lot of pivoting and redefining, What does success look like for me? But also how do you encourage and foster that courage for others to ask that question for themselves?”

[12:00] “I think a lot of the most valuable learning for us is unlearning. Unlearning these definitions or these certain paradigms we’re told to operate in.”

[12:15] “The catch-22 of the question of ‘What would you do if you were just one percent more courageous?’ is just as much as that answer could change, every time you practice and build those courage muscles, that thing that scares you grows, too. Because your courage grows bigger.”

[13:05] “Success, for me, looks like building a legacy of In Her Shoes. What does this provide for young girls and women fifty years down the line, even? What’s possible with this work? …A fear that couples that is, ‘Is this really attainable?'”

[13:10] I think that [it’s] a very human experience, to doubt your capacity for actually being able to enact change or to make a difference.”

[18:10] “We say our work happens in the in-between moments. In the split-second decisions is where In Her Shoes really lives.”

[23:00] “Courage doesn’t have to be a huge leap. Sometimes it can really just be taking that very first step, and moving forward, and trusting that the path will work out.”

https://marisadonnelly.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Becoming-1-More-Courageous-ft.-Judith-Martinez.mp4

Recommended Resources:

• Connect with and join the In Her Shoes “12 Days of Courage” (Dec 10-21) to redefine what giving means this year through courageous conversations and self-care activities. The goal is to give to yourself during this holiday season! [You can learn more here].
• Follow In Her Shoes website or connect on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and Judith’s personal Instagram page.

To listen to more episodes of the VulnerABILITY Podcast, click here.

In VulnerABILITY Ep 49, Marisa welcomes Lara Schmoisman, the Founder & CEO of The Darl, to talk about authenticity and purposeful leadership.