Imagine facing a problem you can't name, something that feels bigger than any bug you've ever had to fix. How do you debug your own mind when you don't even know what's wrong?

Burke Holland's story starts with a college party and a bad trip that leaves a deeper mark than he expects. Sleep gets harder. Fear creeps in. His life starts shrinking. School falls apart, friends drift away, and he ends up back at home trying to understand what's happening to him.

He looks for structure in the Coast Guard. Later he discovers computers and realizes he might have found the thing he's meant to do. But the shadow that followed him out of that party doesn't care about career paths. It shows up during college, during work, during marriage, during parenthood. Sometimes it's quiet, sometimes it knocks him completely flat.

This is the story of a developer who looks effortless on stage but spent years fighting something no one else could see, and what changed once he finally understood what he was up against.

What do you do when the hardest problem in your life isn't in your code, but in yourself?

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What do you do when your code breaks and the only fix is to dig into the runtime below?

Matt Godbolt lives for that. Tile-based renderers, color-coded scanlines, zero-copy NICs—each story is a clue that leads past the abstraction to the real machine. He shares the rule that guides him: master your layer, learn the one below, and know the outline of the layer under that.

Matt Godbolt's journey proves the real breakthroughs are hideen behind the abstrations where you are comfortable and familiar.

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What if a software bug drained your savings, ruined your reputation, and nobody believed it wasn't your fault?

Scott Darlington took over a village post office, hoping to give his family a steady life. But the software system kept showing cash shortfalls he couldn't explain. Each time, the Post Office told him the numbers were right and made him pay the difference out of his own pocket.

Eventually it became too much and actions Scott took to protect himself lead to his arrest and public shaming.

How do you build trust in systems when the people behind them refuse to admit they're broken?

A quick update from Adam about the podcast's current state, consistency challenges, and what's coming next.

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What do we risk when we let AI do the heavy lifting in our coding? Are we giving up the thinking that makes us good at what we do? And as expectations keep rising to match productivy gains, is all this speed really helping, or just making us busier?

Today, let's look at the tradeoffs of coding with AI and why the hardest part might be deciding what to hold onto, and what to let go.

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I've always found meaning—and a lot of strength—in building things. Now, with AI coding agents changing the way we work, it's easy to feel threatened, like something essential might get taken away. But honestly, that creative urge can't be replaced by any tool. In this episode, I talk about what it's like when your identity is tied to making things, and the tools suddenly change.

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What if your search for connection took you somewhere you never meant to go—almost costing you everything?

John Walker grew up building computers and exploring early internet forums, always looking for a place to fit in. As a teenager, he hacked his school network and spent hours on IRC, but loneliness crept in. Drugs became a fun exploration and a social experiment. But soon, addiction pulled him into homelessness and jail.

Even at his lowest, John turned to online communities. He ran IRC bots to keep recovery chatrooms safe from trolls and built scrapers to solve tough data problems at work. These technical challenges gave him a reason to keep going, even when face-to-face life felt impossible.

But the real turning point came when John stopped trying to hide his differences.

How do you rebuild when you feel like an outsider?

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Have you ever found yourself in a situation where learning felt like an uphill battle? Like no matter how hard you tried, the pieces just wouldn't fall into place?

Steve Krouse's story shows the power of the right learning environment. As a child, Steve felt he wasn't good at math. But everything changed with an afterschool program called IMACS. Initially skeptical, he soon embraced its creative approach, which encouraged self-paced learning.

At IMACS, Steve learned to think on paper, grasping math concepts through programming languages like Logo and Scheme. This confidence moved him from remedial to advanced math, sparking a love for programming and education.

Frustrated with traditional schooling, Steve dropped out of college to create engaging learning experiences for kids. His efforts led to tools like woof.js and the founding of Val Town, making programming accessible and collaborative.

Join us as we explore Steve's journey, revealing how innovative educational environments can unlock potential and transform identities.

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Can a single line of code change the way we see science, policy, and trust?

In this episode we explore the "Climategate" scandal that erupted from leaked emails and code snippets, fueling doubts about climate science. What starts as an investigation into accusations of fraud leads to an unexpected journey through the messy reality of data science, legacy code struggles, and the complex pressures scientists face every day.

Along the way, we uncover stories of hidden errors and misunderstood phrases taken out of context, revealing a world where science, software engineering, and human complexity intertwine. This story doesn't just challenge assumptions—it shows the power and importance of transparency in science and technology.

Join Adam as he digs deep into Climategate, uncovering what really happened when code got thrust into the spotlight, and what it means for trust, truth, and open science.

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What if a simple game became a gateway to computational breakthroughs? David Freiberg and Felipe set out on a journey to conquer Hatetris, a notoriously difficult JavaScript game. Their interest ignited when a new world record was set, showing that surpassing the game's high score was possible.

Their journey was full of challenges, from building an emulator in different programming languages to tackling complex algorithms. They pushed the boundaries of what's possible but the story didn't end there.

Collaborating with fellow enthusiasts, including a Japanese Tetris expert, led to further breakthroughs. By sharing insights and building on each other's work, they set a records after records. Their story highlights the power of curiosity, collaboration, and the joy of discovery.

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What if internet trolls could become your greatest collaborators? Nolen Royalty discovered this unexpected truth when his simple checkbox game went viral.

It began with a school email prank that crashed servers but sparked a philosophy: creative constraints breed innovation. From "Flappy Dird" to "One Million Checkboxes," Nolen built games that turned limitations into playgrounds.

But when his checkbox project became a battleground of organized chaos, Nolen faced a choice: suppress the chaos or lean into it.

Discover how systematic constraints can channel creative anarchy - and why one developer now believes the best user experiences emerge when you code for controlled chaos of strangers meeting on the internet.

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