372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

372 Pages We'll Never Get Back

Conor Lastowka and Michael J. Nelson are reading books they're pretty sure they're going to hate. Read along with us for a podcast book clubs of Ready Player One, Armada, The Eye of Argon, Dan Brown, and more!

  • 42 minutes 26 seconds
    Ep 175 – Book 31: The Quilting Cruise

    It’s cozy season! It’s cruise season! Wait, can it be BOTH??

    Get the book here https://amzn.to/4fzHWa1 (affiliate link)

    If you supported the podcast on Patreon you’d have already been cozy for a week because we post every episode there a week early! Plus we have another ENTIRE PODCAST on there where we try to solve old Encyclopedia Brown mysteries, sometimes with special guests! https://patreon.com/372pages

    Jonathan’s song: 372pages.com/recapsong.mp3 and all the images we discuss in this episode: https://imgur.com/a/RjzYnWN

    ASSIGNMENT: Read thru Chapter 9

    14 November 2024, 5:00 am
  • 2 hours 34 minutes
    Ep 174 – Tek Kill – Ep 4

    Support the podcast on Patreon where you can hear our latest attempts to solve insane Encyclopedia Brown mysteries with special guests Alex Schmidt, John Hodgman, and David Roth! https://patreon.com/372pages

    Finally, the most pressing questions are answered: who is Mrs. Juneanne Stackpoole? Will Anselmo be as big a character as we always assumed? What’s the latest from the Thelwell Brokerage Services?!

    Oh, also, though it doesn’t matter or count in the least, the Real of FanFic, Mike v. Conor is tallied.

    Plus some listener mail and Dumb Sentences of the Week.

    17 October 2024, 4:00 am
  • 2 hours 8 minutes
    Ep 173 – Tek Kill – Ep 3

    Support the podcast on Patreon, where you get every episode early as well as all the other fun stuff we talk about on these eps! https://patreon.com/372pages

    We have what you all crave: tantalizing new facts about Sid. Also, without noting it we meet what we have to imagine is the 750th character in this relatively short book.

    Dumb Sentences join our final Real or FanFic of this book, and, at long last, the full clip that should put to rest the eternal question, “Who is Jim Dalen?”

    1 October 2024, 2:42 pm
  • 2 hours 16 minutes
    Ep 172 – Tek Kill – Ep 2

    Support the podcast on Patreon. Special guest have started joining us for 280 Mysteries! https://patreon.com/372pages

    We’ve kept you waiting long enough: time to find out the moisture level of Sid’s facial hair and to name the implement or implements he uses to groom it. Also, our experimental Real or FanFic continues to go swimmingly / terribly, depending on whether you’re Team Conor or Team Mike.

    ASSIGNMENT: Read thru Chapter 31

    17 September 2024, 4:00 am
  • 2 hours 25 minutes
    Ep 171 – Tek Kill – Ep 1

    Support the podcast on Patreon so you can hear our recap of the previous 7 books in the series, Encyclopedia Brown mysteries, and all the other stuff we talk about in this episode! http://patreon.com/372pages

    So many characters! Why?

    Ok, we’ve calmed down now. We’re back in the Tek-verse. We’re happy, I wouldn’t hesitate to say, to be here.

    Get the book here.

    READING ASSIGNMENT: Read through Chap. 21

    24 July 2024, 4:00 am
  • 32 minutes 1 second
    Ep 170 – Book 30 Announcement: Tek Kill

    If you were on Patreon this would be old news because we announced it there a week ago! Support the podcast here: patreon.com/372pages

    The new book is announced! Since it is one of a series, we bring everyone up to date with excerpts of previous books AND Mike tells another story about his dad (squeamish discretion advised.)

    Get the book here but no peeking ’til you’ve heard us reveal it! https://amzn.to/3Y6dS0z (affiliate link)

    ASSIGNMENT: Read thru Chapter 11

    9 July 2024, 4:00 am
  • 2 hours 14 minutes
    Ep 169 – Bridge to Bat City – Ep 5 – Bat Dance

    Support the podcast on Patreon, where you can hear us chat with Paul Scheer and find out what our next book is before anybody else! http://patreon.com/372pages

    Our final episode of Ernest Cline’s Bridge to Bat City and it may not surprise you learn that Cline wraps everything up in exactly the way you’d expect him to.

    There’s a lot of Listener Mail, including some pretty good theories #cough harperlee cough trumancapote#, as well as a load of Dumb Sentences, and statistics on Mike’s Real or Fanfic.

    But to start it all off, many people wrote in with some truly stunning news ripped right from today’s headlines. (I don’t think we’ve EVER had anything quite this on the nose before.)

    NOTE: We had some minor audio issues (blame on some new gear in Mike’s rig.) so we’ll make it up to y’all with a Bonus tbd. Thanks.

    Alejandro’s updated artwork

    Bat researcher Merlin Tuttle crying

     Jonah’s statistics

    1.png?token-time=1719619200&token-hash=f7nOHzvbJYM2r-Udh5AVcnC-MTOC9yEM9ssmpvCCd0Q%3D Opal’s “cameo” in Slacker

    1.png?token-time=1719619200&token-hash=u9LnIAJtomnmRiaypx4PzYyTrT98hQ9dTCo0A9_Rz_U%3D Jacob’s list of kids books from 1927: https://372pages.com/kidsbooks.pdf

    20 June 2024, 4:00 am
  • 2 hours 16 minutes
    Ep 168 – Bridge to Bat City – Ep 4 – Welcoming

    Don’t be a Muckerno, support the Podcast on Patreon! Get every episode a week early, plus a ton of other bonus stuff that we don’t put on the free feed! https://patreon.com/372pages

    Shocking – truly SHOCKING – news that will shake up the 372 community almost as much as the scandal surrounding our last cozy mystery. Not since Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Academy Awards while that guy streaked across the stage behind David Niven has there been anything this “watercooler-talk-worthy” (<—— huh, kids? 8 year-olds, you’re eating this up, aren’t you?)

    Mike and Conor continue to delve into the story of Opal and how she can communicate with bats because she was sucked up into a UFO, and now she rambles (i.e., “drives around in a car”) with her uncle Roscoe, a serious loser who destroyed his family farm, owes thousands in back taxes, and sneaks into alleys behind music clubs so he doesn’t have to pay the seventy-five cent cover charge.

    All the departments are here and as a final reading assignment, FINISH THE BOOK!

    (And yes, Mike forgot that a kind listener had already done a “We Didn’t Start the Fire” parody. Could we have edited it out? Sure, but why not mock him instead?)

    Gallery of illustration “similarities” submitted by Jay: https://imgur.com/a/wUajGQP

    6 June 2024, 4:00 am
  • 2 hours 11 seconds
    Ep 167 – Bridge to Bat City – Ep 3 – Weird

    Support the podcast on Patreon! Get every episode early, plus hear Mike’s Bat Story, Conor’s Paul Harvey tapes, an entire bonus podcast about Encyclopedia Brown and more! https://patreon.com/372pages

    Bats can read! Or they can’t! But we know they spread mojo which causes people to groove. That’s just science.

    Mike does Real or Fanfic (“does” in this context means “participates in”), we have Dumb Sentences, and we read some mail!

    Finally, a reminder from the CDC: Bats are the leading cause of rabies deaths in people in the United States. People and domestic animals should avoid contact with bats. Bats should never be kept as pets. Rabies can spread to people from bats after minor, seemingly unimportant, or unrecognized bites or scratches.

    Get the book here. (Affiliate Link)

    ASSIGNMENT: Read until the sentence “And that’s how Opal and the bats made friends with Richard Linklater and Lee Daniel and helped out the crew of Slacker, one of the best films ever made about Austin and the people who live there.”

    23 May 2024, 4:00 am
  • 2 hours 12 minutes
    Ep 166 – Bridge to Bat City – Ep 2 – Suddenly

    Support the podcast on Patreon and get to hear stuff we don’t post anywhere else! This week included Mike’s dramatic courtroom reading of a Prince song and Conor’s epic roast of a 70 year old folk son. http://patreon.com/372pages

    Witness the exact moment that Cline fully becomes Cline! Also, lots of mean-spirited men in hard hats, as well as tons of references to classic 80s songs from the 60s and 70s. The Dark Web is pressed into service, and Mike just might up his batting average at Real or Fanfic.

    READING ASSIGNMENT: Read through Chapter 15 PANIC ON THE STREETS OF AUSTIN

    Get the big ole beautiful book here: https://amzn.to/3TRVmoL (affiliate link)

    9 May 2024, 4:00 am
  • 1 hour 38 minutes
    Ep 165 – Bridge to Bat City – Ep 1 – Yucking the Yums

    Support the Patreon to mainline Cline before anyone else! You’ll also get to hear our other podcast 280 Mysteries We’ll Never Get Back on off weeks! https://patreon.com/372pages

    Ernest Cline, the founder of our feast here at 372 Pages, is back with another book, Bridge to Bat City. A day after its release, Conor and Mike review the first few chapters, take on some Dumb Sentences, Mike fails at Real or Fanfic and Conor reads some mail.

    In other words, despite barely dipping a toe in, it’s a jam packed episode.

    Get the big ole beautiful book here: https://amzn.to/3TRVmoL (affiliate link)

    Assignment: Read thru Chapter 10

    Media:

    Cline at Wootstock

    The RiffTrax guys at Wootstock

    Megamania footage

    Alejandro’s 372 character compendium

    17 April 2024, 4:00 am
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