This Deep Dive series is all about why motherhood is so gosh darn hard. Turns out there are sociopolitical forces at play that make motherhood way harder than it needs to be. Listen to the full playlist on Spotify.

The average adult makes 35,000 decisions a day. The average "default parent" makes a lot more than that. No wonder we suffer from decision fatigue. The more decisions we have to make, the more fatigue we develop, and the more difficult it can become to function.

So how can we combat the frustration, apathy, and resentment that result from having to make all the decisions in the family?

In this episode we discuss:

-How decision fatigue manifests—and how it differs from burnout

-The best time of day to make hard decisions

-Why "going with the flow" is not actually a thing

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Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

-Sara Berg for the American Medical Association: "What doctors wish patients knew about decision fatigue"

-Michelle Adelman for HowStuffWorks: "When's the Best Time of Day to Make a Decision?"

-Lauren Barth for The Bump: "Why the Decision-Fatigue Struggle Is (Still) Real for Parents"

-Frank Graff for PBS North Carolina: "How Many Decisions Do We Make In One Day?"

-Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco for The Washington Post: "For parents, everything feels like a high-stakes decision now. Here’s how to lower the anxiety."

-Ashley Stahl for Forbes: "How Burnout Affects Your Decision-Making Process—And How To Fix It"

-Eva M. Krockow for Psychology Today: "How Many Decisions Do We Make Each Day?"

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity

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How can we get buy-in from our kids when we go on vacation, whether it's a half-hour down the road or the other side of the world? Anna Fader and Amelia Eigerman, the mother-daughter team behind the MOMMY POPPINS TRAVEL JOURNAL AND ACTIVITY BOOK, have devised practical tips for really including our kids on family adventures.

Anna Fader and Amelia Eigerman are a mother-daughter team. Mommy Poppins is recognized as a leading authority on family activities and travel, cited in publications including The New York Times, The Washington Post, and Forbes, among others.

Anna, Amelia, and Margaret discuss:

• Why this travel journal is appropriate for every kind of vacation
• The two different perspectives they bring to the book
• The important skills kids can learn while traveling

Here's where you can find Anna and Amelia:

• www.mommypoppins.com
• @mommypoppins on IG, FB, TikTok, and Youtube
• Buy the MOMMY POPPINS TRAVEL JOURNAL AND ACTIVITY BOOK: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781964487014

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, summer travel, summer vacation, vacation with kids, travel with kids, kid-friendly vacation, kid-friendly travel, tips for vacation with kids, tips for traveling with kids

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Moms are usually low-level anxious about their kids at all times. But it's exhausting. How much of this anxiety we feel is normal and how much of it may require medical intervention? Here's how moms specifically feel anxiety and some tips for making it a little less intense.

Amy and Margaret discuss:

• Anxiety symptoms that can be specific to moms
• How clinical anxiety is different from everyday anxiety necessary for human survival
• How to actively work against your anxiety as a mother

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

• Jennifer Kelly Geddes for What to Expect: 6 Types of Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders
• Calm.com: Yes, motherhood anxiety is totally normal. Here's how to cope
• Cleveland Clinic: Anxiety Disorders
• Marika Lindholm, PhD, for Psychology Today: 10 Anxiety Busters for Moms

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity, anxiety

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This Deep Dive series is all about why motherhood is so gosh darn hard. Turns out there are sociopolitical forces at play that make motherhood way harder than it needs to be. Listen to the full playlist on Spotify.

What should we do when all the work we do to run our family's lives is done so successfully that they not only don't acknowledge it—they don't even understand it? How do we help our partners understand that saying "I left the doctor a message, but they didn't call back" does not really count as a completed task?

It's all about what's called the "invisible workload." In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss:

• Whether "cognitive labor" (Allison Daminger) or "emotional labor" (Rose Hackman) might be even better terms for what we're talking about
• Pushing back on "weaponized incompetence"
• The difference between taking on tasks and taking on outcomes
• The importance of giving voice to invisible labor in front of kids

Here are links to some interviews/books we mentioned in the episode:

• Our interview with Eve Rodsky
• Mac Daniel for Harvard Radcliffe Institute: "The Unseen Inequity of Cognitive Labor"
• FAIR PLAY by Eve Rodsky: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525541943
• EMOTIONAL LABOR by Rose Hackman: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250777355
• THIS AMERICAN EX-WIFE by Lyz Lenz: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593241127

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, cognitive labor

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What do high-achieving families have in common, and what are some good lessons from them we can replicate in our own parenting? Susan Dominus, author of the new book THE FAMILY DYNAMIC, discusses the forces at play in families with multiple successful members and how we can encourage our kids to succeed in the ways that make sense for them.

Susan Dominus is a staff writer for The New York Times Magazine. In 2018, Susan was part of a team reporting on workplace sexual harassment that won a Pulitzer Prize for public service.

Susan, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

• How socioeconomic status informs family dynamics
• The role that parent expectations play in child development
• Why relationships outside the family are important for kids

Here's where you can find Susan:

• @suedominus on IG
• @susandominus.bsky.social on Bluesky
• Buy FAMILY DYNAMIC: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593137901

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, siblings, brothers, sisters, sibling relationship, kids age gap, sibling age gap , family dynamic

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What are we going to do with our kids all summer? Gone are the days when kids can just play outdoors unsupervised from sunup to sundown. Now certain summer camps are sold out within a matter of minutes on January 1st.

So how can we keep our kids affordably occupied all summer long? Here are some helpful tips and resources where you can find reasonably priced camps and activities for your kids this summer.

Amy and Margaret discuss:

• How they spent their own summers as kids
• The most effective way to apply for scholarships and financial aid for summer programs
• Which local community organizations often provide summer activities for kids

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Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

• Nicole Fabian-Weber for Care.com: Summer camp cost: Breaking down the price of day, sleep-away and specialty camps

• Sarah D. Wire for USA TODAY: Latest Trump cuts put summer reading, mobile libraries and local museums in jeopardy

• Here is where you can view how much federal grant money is going to programs in your area

• Jeff Williams for U.S. News: 8 Alternatives to Sending Your Child to a Pricey Summer Camp

• Our Fresh Take with Jessica Calarco

• Anne Helen Petersen for the Culture Study blog: The Past and Potential Future of the Summer Care Scramble

• Nancy Chen for CBS News: Inflation has caused summer camp costs to soar. Here are tips for parents on how to save

• Joel Anderson for Slate: What Happened to Kids’ Summers?

• Jamie Aderski on TikTok: Send Your Kids to Camp or Quit Your Job?

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, cognitive labor, summer camps, summer camps for kids, camps for kids, kids camps, kids summer activities, summer activities for kids, affordable summer camps for kids

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Is one morning of runny eggs and burnt toast really fair payback for 364 days of work? Does "Mother's Day" have to mean packing the kids for a two-hour drive to see your mom and/or mother-in-law? Why does Mother's Day often feel like it's more trouble than it's worth?

Margaret and Amy discuss:

• Anna Jarvis and the rather tragic origins of Mother's Day
• "Minor Mother's Day" vs "Major Mother's Day," and how to deliver that message
• How to ask for—and get—the Mother's Day that feels right for you

Margaret mentions "The Lanyard" by Billy Collins in this episode.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Mother's Day, making mom feel special mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, mothers day, mother's day gift ideas

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When we're faced with difficulties, how can we put them into perspective and move forward? Jessica N. Turner, author of the new book I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER THAN THIS, discusses the experiences that led her to look at life differently and how she has learned to make "imperfect choices."

Jessica N. Turner has spent the last two decades as a content creator and tastemaker for busy moms looking for hacks to live life with more intention and less stress.

Jessica, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

• What led Jessica to write this book
• What Jessica's large online audience of women taught her about grief
• Strategies for processing grief and disappointment

Here's where you can find Jessica:

• www.jessicanturner.com
• @jessicanturner on IG
• @TheMomCreative on FB
• Buy I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER THAN THIS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781546006718

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, #betterthanthis, grief, trauma, stages of grief, disappointment

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"Maternal gatekeeping" usually shows up in pop culture as an overbearing, overprotective mother preventing everyone else from even touching the baby. But maternal gatekeeping is a multidimensional phenomenon that isn't as simple as anxious mothers needing complete control over their newborn's schedule. Here is what the studies on maternal gatekeeping say and how it can manifest in two-parent households.

Amy and Margaret discuss:

• The three dimensions of the term "maternal gatekeeping" and what the original definition gets wrong
• The best predictors of maternal gatekeeping in a couple's dynamic
• The societal pressures that reinforce maternal gatekeeping

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

• Miss Perceived podcast with Leah Ruppanner: Are Dads Being Shut Out of Childcare? Breaking Down the "Maternal Gate"
• Sarah J. Schoppe-Sullivan, et. al for Parenting Science and Practice Journal: Who are the Gatekeepers? Predictors of Maternal Gatekeeping
• Sarah M. Allen and Alan J. Hawkins for the Journal of Marriage and Family: Maternal Gatekeeping: Mothers' Beliefs and Behaviors That Inhibit Greater Father Involvement in Family Work

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, cognitive labor, maternal gatekeeping

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This Deep Dive series is all about why motherhood is so gosh darn hard. Turns out there are sociopolitical forces at play that make motherhood way harder than it needs to be. Listen to the full playlist on Spotify.

"Mom rage" is a thing, and it feels shameful because it feels so far from where we are supposed to be as mothers and as women. Writer Anne Lamott called it "a closely guarded secret, as if the myth of maternal bliss is so sacrosanct that we can't even admit these feelings to ourselves."

But it's more universal than we admit, and its triggers more predictable. There are also practical ways we can all recognize it sooner when it might be building within ourselves.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How a "sequence of provocations" can dramatically increase anger
• Why lack of sleep is a major cause of mom rage
• Things that work to lengthen our fuses

If you found this episode useful, here are some other episodes of ours you might listen to next:

Fresh Take: Carla Naumburg Tells Us How To Stop Losing It With Our Kids (May 2021)

Sometimes We Lose It (Dec 2018)

How to Yell Less (Dec 2024)

Here are links to some of the resources we mentioned in the episode:

@momuninterrupted on Instagram: "Nighttime Parenting"

Anne Lamott for Salon: "Mother Rage: Theory and Practice"

Pallavi Pundir for Vice: ‘It’s Like I Was Possessed’: Women Reveal the Deepest, Darkest Moments of Their ‘Mom Rage’

Minna Dubin for The New York Times: "The Rage Mothers Don’t Talk About"

Minna Dubin for The New York Times: ‘I Am Going to Physically Explode’: Mom Rage in a Pandemic

NBC Boston: What Is Mom Rage? Why Are So Many Women Feeling It?

Mairead Heffron for Image: The secret rage of motherhood: ‘I never imagined that my child could be both the trigger and target of my anger’

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, mom blame, mom rage

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How can we show kids that their neighborhoods are wonderful places to explore, learn, and grow? Tamron Hall, author of the NYT-bestselling book HARLEM HONEY, discusses why fostering hometown curiosity in kids is so important.

Tamron Hall is a two-time Emmy Award-winning television host and executive producer of syndicated talk show Tamron Hall.

Tamron and Margaret discuss:

• Becoming a mom later in life
• Navigating anxiety in our kids
• Why Mom going off to work at the beginning of HARLEM HONEY is so important

Here's where you can find Tamron:

• https://tamronhallshow.com/
• Buy HARLEM HONEY: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063244849
• @tamronhall on IG, FB, Threads, TikTok, and X

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parental stress, emotions, kids emotions, parent emotions, uncertainty,

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