Today I speak with Tom Boulton from the U.K.

Tom's Christian faith grew in his teenage years amongst friends. His dad thought Tom was in a cult. Tom experienced intense anxiety at the thought of friends and family going to hell.  His faith is all-consuming.  He said that 18 year old Christian Tom wouldn't recognize 23 year old Christian Tom. His understanding and definition of Christianity changed. 

Tom mentors a 16 year old boy from church who comes out to Tom as gay. Tom doesn't respond so well the first time, but gets a chance to follow-up with the boy later and make it right. 

Work is a great landing place for him to go as he deconverts. After deconverting he invites everyone, including church friends out for a pint to chat about the changes in his life. It goes really well!

Tom is the friendliest, kindest guy and I loved hearing his story! You'll love it too.

Ryan is a former evangelical homeschooler who enjoyed life and understanding the world so much that he eventually outgrew the religion of his upbringing. He now works in the tech manufacturing field in Austin TX and enjoys group meditation, talking about philosophy and history, and playing both sports and music. Today, Ryan calls himself atheist or agnostic but prefers the simple term “secular”, with a philosophy most closely aligning with Buddhism.

Christianity ruins their childhood. They were born into a Catholic family and went to church every Saturday. They became aware they were non-binary at 6 years old, realizing they didn't want to be a girl. Their parents were caring and the type of people that you wish Christians were.  Despite a loving home environment, this didn't prevent a childhood of isolation and self-hatred. They were bullied, abused and suicidal. Somehow they remained a hardcore Christian.

Later in life they experience abuse in romantic relationships. In college they leave Catholicism for Non-denominational Christianity. 

Processing their grandmother's death leads to panic attacks and motivates them to read the Bible. It's immediately obvious to them that the Bible is (dark) Fiction.

They eventually get mental health help and in 2019 decide they are non longer a Christian. They are now an atheist. 

[email protected]

* Trigger Warning: Discussions of abuse and rape*

Christa Elane is a self described "old Millennial" who has been deconverting for years and now leans atheist. She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her spouse and kids. She's a social worker and disability advocate with a passion for Autism acceptance and inclusion. She was raised in a so called "spirit filled' non-denominational Christian church in California. She was a part of the "Toronto Blessing" revival in he 1990s and was in a Christian cult in her teen years in Spokane, Washington. Christa wants to share about her journey out of Christianity and the abuses she witnessed at several churches. 

My guest today grew up never knowing any other perspective, except the one he was told to have. His family did not attend events outside of church. He spent preschool through 12th grade at the same private school and church. His friendships were strictly controlled. Girlfriends or "crushes" were prohibited. Every potential influence was censored. He had no privacy at any time. He wasn't allowed to develop any opinion unless it was the same as his parents.  

He was forced to hide his thoughts, friendships, music or anything else that didn't conform. His worldview had been dictated to him his whole life until, through the Army ROTC program at a fundamentalist Christian college, he began to discover the real world. He now considers himself an atheist. He's married with two kids and lives in the South.  

Amanda was a devout Catholic. She used to attend mass daily. She and her husband didn't use birth control, in accordance with church teaching. She accidentally joins a cult at university. The 2016 and 2020 U.S. elections get her thinking about propaganda. She wonders what propaganda she believes. She hears a Bible verse that says, " You will know them by their fruits". That's the last straw. It gave her the final push to leave Christianity. She became an atheist in November 2020.

She's married and has four kids. She has her undergrad in theology and Master's degree in mental health counseling. She's passionate about human rights and changing the world through empathy. 

Now she is focused on raising her four kids to be aware of others. She's considering going back to school to study religious trauma and spiritual abuse because she feels like these topics aren't talked about enough.

Chelsy's been instructing English as a Second Language (ESL) for 20 years. She's been a full time lecturer at Purdue University since 2014.

Currently she's working on her second Master's degree about the experiences of lesbian ex-members of Campus Crusade for Christ. 

She was raised in a Christian home, but an experience during the summer of her Freshman year in college, begins a series of big changes in her life. Her parents don't respond well. A mission trip to India leads to an epiphany. She is now agnostic/atheist.

Chelsy's hobbies include kayaking, playing guitar and drums, rock climbing, traveling and learning languages. Chelsy and her wife recently got married just a few weeks ago!

Congrats Chelsy!!

Today I speak with Abby.

She was adopted from South Korea with her little sister by Christian American Parents. Her early life was marked by abuse and neglect. She was raised in a non-denominational Christian family. Demons and hell cause her nightmares as a child. 

She makes big life decisions based on her faith. She later has to tell her Christian family that she is getting divorced. When She has to tell them she's an atheist, it doesn't go over well with some. 

Now Abby is determined to be the kind of parent to her sons that she needed when she was a child. She wants to give them choices. She wants them to feel they have control. She wants them to know that they are their own person and they don't belong to anyone. 

Abby was delightful to speak with. Her story and courage are so inspirational. I'm grateful she shared her story with us today. 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCduezbfGbAZBzS3g5RwvW-g

Email: [email protected] 

April grew up under a lot of parental pressure and expectations. Purity culture had a strong influence on her. 

*Trigger Warning*: We discuss an abusive relationship, mental health & suicide in the episode.

When an abusive relationship ends, April begins to question how this is handled within a Christian context. April poses the questions: What happens when your autonomy is taken from you?  She says, "This happens to a lot of people, what do we do then"?

Eventually April takes an Astronomy class in college and has an epiphany.  April shares about her mental health and how suicidal thoughts were intrusive from childhood. 

April feels like she's in a much better place mentally now that she's created distance between herself and people/places that were not healthy for her.

It's a wonderful conversation.

If you'd like to get in touch with April:  [email protected]

Pastor & Musician who leads worship at his church. This father and husband has only come out as agnostic to a few people. He is using a fake name in today's interview. 

He's a great guy and has a touching story about the costs we have to consider when leaving a Christian career.

Tiffany has so many great insights regarding the impact of Christianity on mental health. I really enjoyed my chat with her!

Learn more about Tiffany:

http://www.tiffanicappello.com/