You have to acknowledge your depression in order to begin to talk about it. That may sound simple to do. But it's not quite so simple.

Why? Because nobody particularly wants to realize or admit that your way of "being" has changed, without you trying to change it. And in fact, you may have become so accustomed to being somewhat depressed, that it can lull you into thinking, "Well, this is just my new normal."

So today, my incredible team, Christine Mathias and John Crowley, have taken over the podcast for this week and are going to introduce you to a few clips where I talk about this very thing - acknowledging and talking about your depression.

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You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

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Today, I'm excited to introduce SelfWork listeners to the Zero To Travel Podcast, a show that helps you travel the world on your terms. I hope you'll give it a listen.

How do you thrive with anxiety? Dr. David Rosemarin is our guest today who talks specifically about how to understand your anxiety as something that can help you thrive - when you work with it, and not against it.

David is the director of the Spirituality and Mental Health Program at McLean Hospital. And he's an associate professor of psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He studies the relevance of spirituality to mental health. His own research has identified that faith is associated with improved treatment outcomes for depressed patients who see themselves as "spiritual beings."

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Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com
* Check out Paired: paired.com/SELFWORK


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Today we're focusing on the lasting impact of trauma. Many of us are quite good - or efficient is perhaps a better word – at avoiding and denying and building a façade that’s rock solid around you… that no one would guess that trauma had every occurred in your life. Or how it could be affecting you now.

I have a story for you that will illustrate how easily it can be affecting you in ways that you don't recognize... until you do. And healing from trauma can occur, perhaps slowly, but it's more than possible. As always, we'll focus on "what you can do about it."

Our listener email is from a young woman who watched my TEDx and decided to write me about her lifelong battle with depression – how she feels she’s a horrible disappointment to her parents – and in her short email, has only shaming and self-destructive things to say about herself. But there’s one thing she never mentions that seems so obvious… I hope I can help her see her condition differently, so she can take action toward a better life.

Advertiser's Link: 

Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com
* Check out Paired: paired.com/SELFWORK


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What do you do when you hit a wall? And what IS that wall anyway? How often are you able to recognize that that’s what’s happening? Some of you might quickly say, “I can’t hit a wall. I’ve got too many responsibilities. I need to make money. I need to keep going no matter what.”

The three walls we'll focus on today are exhaustion, self-doubt, and saying, "I don't know" or "I need help." First, how to recognize that you’re coming close to hitting your wall (which will be different for everybody) way before a negative flow of energy or what’s called a negative spiral begins to happen. And second, what you can do about it and how you can use mindfulness to slow yourself down.

Our listener voicemail is from a guy that says, “Oh my god, everything is coming together… enmeshment, depression and perfectionism” but his sentence made me laugh so hard… as he laughed at himself!

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Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com
* Check out Paired: paired.com/SELFWORK


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Perfectly hidden depression can end in tragedy.

I don’t quite remember when Penny Gray and I first talked. It was after 2019 when PHD was published. But not long after.

She’s the widow of a man, Dave, who tragically fit the rubric of perfectly hidden depression. She tells the story in this interview about how she happened upon the term "perfectly hidden depression" when she was seeking some kind of understanding about the “why” of her husband’s suicidal death. I am honored to share her story with you and could think of absolutely no better person to feature on our 400th episode.

My respect for Penny is immense. She’s fighting severe kidney disease now on top of everything else, but has a passion to tell Dave's story. You’ll hear just how hard it was for her and her children as one minute, she was texting back and forth with her husband who seemed to be having a "moment" but saying he was ‘fine’, then killed himself 15 minutes after finishing a text to her.

"What kept you from revealing your pain?" 

What exactly kept Dave from revealing his pain? She’ll talk about what she’s pieced together, while at the same time, she’s still reeling from questions and emotions that she deals with every day. Her grieving family is left to try to understand, "What was so hard that you had to kill yourself?" But there’s no real answer. Just speculation. Wonder. And maybe a sense of one or two things that, with time, are becoming more clear.

I’m truly honored to introduce you to Penny Gray.

Click here for International Suicide Hotlines

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Photo by Sebastian Palomino.

 

 

 

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Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a fast-growing therapeutic model that I wanted you here at SelfWork to know more about. So, I reached out to Dr. Diana Hill who's an expert on the technique and a firm believer/practitioner in what it has to offer. ACT seems to offer safety and structure, which of course is vital in therapy. I found her to be very real, approachable, and caring as she explains how ACT can help you see how commitment to your core values and staying in the present are so easy to lose when you're faced with struggle. And, as we like to focus on at SelfWork, what you can do about it.

Here's how she explains it: "When you are faced with life’s challenges, it’s easy to lose track of what’s important, get stuck in your thoughts and emotions, and become bogged down by day-to-day problems. Even if you’ve made a commitment to live according to your core values, the ‘real-world’ has a way of driving a wedge between you and a deeper, more meaningful life."

Vital Links: 

Dr. Hill's recently published daily journal!

Her podcast Wise Effort

Advertiser's Link: 

Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com
* Check out Paired: paired.com/SELFWORK


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Cyclothymia, compartmentalization, and Taylor Swift don't seem to have much in common.

But they're sharing this episode of SelfWork! And both are in response to listeners' questions and comments!

Cyclothymia is another one of those more unusual depression diagnoses (like we covered last week with PMDD) and one that doesn’t get much attention as its more dramatic cousins, Bipolar I and II. Yet it shares some of the characteristics of those cyclic disorders (hence the name cyclothymia). Dave wrote about his questions about his own diagnosis of cyclothymia and how much relief and help it brought him.

For this week’s listener email, I’m going to talk to you about a song by Taylor Swift, “I can do it with a broken heart.” A listener posted it in my closed FB group saying, “this sounds like perfectly hidden depression.” But is it?

Vital Links:

The link to the song by Taylor Swift: " I can do it with a broken heart"

Advertisers' Link:

Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com
* Check out Paired: paired.com/SELFWORK


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder or or PMDD? We're going to focus today on what it is and what it's not, who suffers from it, how early can it emerge, why is it so misunderstood, misdiagnosed, or even ridiculed (which of course makes seeking treatment much harder). And, as always, what you can do about it.

This episode is in response to a listener's Instagram message to me about the "monster" that emerged every month from within her. So, I’m delighted to share with you what I know and have learned about PMDD through researching what the experts have to say. And I’ll offer a few really great support links in the show notes.

Our listener voicemail was hard for me to decipher – but the gist of it is that she’s describing that all she can think about is work and she feels very self-centered, with little empathy or support for others. Her pain is evident in her voice (in fact that’s probably one reason it was more difficult to understand).

Vital Links:

Incredible help and support with the International Association of Premenstrual Disorders

YouTube video featuring sufferers of PMDD

YouTube video of expert and up-to-date information about PMDD

Recent studies on PMDD

Cosmopolitan article on PMDD

What's happening hormonally with PMS

Advertiser's Link: 

Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com
* Check out Paired: paired.com/SELFWORK


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Marjorie Aunos' story is not one you'll forget. In one second, she went from being an able-bodied mom to a disabled one.

As a clinical psychologist, Marjorie developed the first program offering support for families headed by parents with intellectual disabilities in the province of Quebec, Canada. She fought for parents with intellectual disabilities to not be judged as “incapable” because of that disability. Yet in 2012, she sustained a spinal cord Injury in a car accident. Mother to a 16-month-old at the time, the accident and injury left her with paraplegia. Dealing with her own fear, her own drive, and all the feelings in between, Marjorie tells her story of learning to mother from a wheelchair – and what she learned about life in the course of doing so.

Marjorie Aunos, Ph.D. is 2021 Inspirational Speaker of the Year, an author, internationally renowned researcher, psychologist, adjunct professor at Brock University and UQTR, and a member at large of the Council of Canadians with Disabilities. She is the co-author of a book on Parenting Capacity Assessment and the author of Mom on Wheels: The Power of Purpose as a Parent with Paraplegia.

Advertisers' Link:

Have you been putting off getting help? It's 2024, and BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com
* Check out Paired: paired.com/SELFWORK


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Why don't you talk about your struggle with depression?

You may have lots of reasons, or excuses, or justifications. But I found out by reading the responses on (what I'm honored to say) is a viral TEDx talk, "How to recognize perfectly hidden depression", that so many of us need to know that this struggle is common - and doesn't have to be hidden.

Some of those reasons are: "It came on so gradually, I didn't notice," or, "I don't trust doctors," or "I"m afraid what will happen if I talk about a mental health struggle."

Today I answer the question of why you don't talk about your depression, and give you solid reasons why most of those justifications are just that... justifications. Not rational reasons. It' s not easy.... but there are so many benefits to seeking understanding and help.

Vital Links:

HealthLine article on common hurdles to revealing depression

Andrew Solomon’s TED talk

Ten traits of perfectly hidden depression

Advertiser's Link: 

Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com
* Check out Paired: paired.com/SELFWORK


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands