We often think of the difference between a boy and a man as a matter of age. But Brian Tome says that there can be 15-year-old men and 45-year-old boys, and that the real difference maker in being grown up isn't a matter of the number of years you accumulate but the qualities, behaviors, and mindset you possess.

Brian is a pastor and the author of The Five Marks of a Man. Today on the show, Brian unpacks what he thinks are the marks of mature manhood. We talk about the need to have a vision and how life-giving hobbies can create that vision. Brian argues that manhood requires staking out a minority position, being part of a pack, and creating more than you consume. And we discuss the ways men can still be protectors in the 21st century.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Podcast #78: The Myth of Following Your Passion
• AoM Article: The Ultimate List of Hobbies for Men — 75+ Ideas For Your Free Time
• AoM series on the 3 P's of Manhood: Protect, Procreate, Provide 
• AoM Podcast #926: The 5 Shifts of Manhood
• AoM Podcast #810: How to Turn a Boy Into a Man
• AoM Article: Why Are Female Friendships the Ideal? (‘Cause Dude Friendships Also Rock)
• AoM Article: Modern Maturity — Create More, Consume Less
• Brian's Man Camp

Connect With Brian Tome

• Brian's website

Imagination is the ability to form mental images and concepts that don't exist or haven’t happened yet, think outside of current realities, and form connections between existing ideas to create something new and original.

If the number of movie sequels and the outsized popularity of music made decades ago is any measure, our current age is suffering from a deficit in imagination. And indeed, tests show that creativity, which takes the possibilities generated in the mind and produces something with them, has been in decline for many years now — a phenomenon that has repercussions for our personal edification, professional advancement, and societal flowering.

But if our imagination has indeed atrophied, the good news is that it can be strengthened. So argues my guest, Albert Read, the former managing director of Condé Nast Britain and the author of The Imagination Muscle: Where Good Ideas Come From (And How to Have More of Them). Today on the show, Albert shares his ideas on how our imagination can be built back up. We discuss how to get better at observation and how to use a commonplace book and the way you structure your reading to cross-pollinate your thinking and generate more fruitful ideas. We also discuss how to overcome the unthinking habit, resist stagnation as you age, and embrace imaginative risk.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Podcast #432: How to Achieve Creative Success
• AoM Podcast #683: How to Think Like a Renaissance Man
• AoM Podcast #357: How to Be a Creative Genius Like da Vinci
• AoM Podcast #874: Throw a 2-Hour Cocktail Party That Can Change Your Life

Connect With Albert Read

• Albert's website 

In an age that doesn't think too much about history, you might be forgiven for thinking that a culture of exercise only emerged in the 20th century. But the idea of purposefully exercising to change one's body — what folks used to call "physical culture" — likely goes back to the very beginnings of time.

Here to unpack the origins, evolution, and future of fitness is Dr. Conor Heffernan, a Lecturer in the Sociology of Sport at Ulster University and the author of The History of Physical Culture. Today on the show, Conor takes us on a fascinating and wide-ranging tour of physical culture, from the ancient Egyptians, who made their pharaohs run around a pyramid to test their fitness to rule, to the ancient Greeks who used their gymnasiums for both bodily training and intellectual philosophizing, to modern strongmen who became proto fitness influencers, and many periods and societies in between. We discuss how training practices changed over time, where they may be going next, and the evergreen principles from past eras that we could still learn from today.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Podcast #988: Of Strength and Soul — Exploring the Philosophy of Physical Fitness
• AoM Podcast #939: What Lifting Ancient Stones Can Teach You About Being a Man
• Rogue documentaries on stone lifting in Scotland, Iceland, and Spain
• AoM Podcast #39: Eugen Sandow, Victorian Strongman
• AoM Podcast #624: The Crazy, Forgotten Story of America’s First Fitness Influencer, Bernarr MacFadden
• AoM Article: An Introduction to Indian Club Training
• AoM Video: Intro to Indian Club Training
• De Arte Gymnastica
• Johann GutsMuths
• Friedrich Ludwig Jahn
• Turnvereine gymnastic system 
• The Strongman Project 

Connect With Conor Heffernan

• Physical Culture Study website
• Conor's faculty page

Do you have trouble feeling comfortable when socializing? Maybe sometimes you do fine, but other times you feel nervous, shy, and awkward. Or maybe socializing always feels like a struggle. Either way, you know how frustrating and even debilitating social anxiety can be. It cannot only lead to avoiding potentially enriching experiences and a failure to make desired connections, it can sometimes be hard to understand.

So what's going on when you socially misfire?

Here to unpack that question is Thomas Smithyman, who is a clinical psychologist and the author of Dating Without Fear: Overcome Social Anxiety and Connect. Today on the show, we get into the dynamics of social anxiety in both romantic and platonic contexts. Thomas explains what defines social anxiety, how it exists on a spectrum from mild shyness to an outright disorder, and what causes it, from genetics to faulty thinking. We talk about the protection strategies people often use to avoid the pain of social judgement, and why they actually backfire. We then get into what you can do to be more socially comfortable and confident, including a key to effective flirting, why you should try to make a "mediocre first impression," and how to find your way into what Thomas calls the "warm social world."

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM series on overcoming shyness 
• AoM Article: Introversion as an Excuse
• AoM Article: How to Overcome Phone Shyness
• Sunday Firesides: Want to Solve Your Social Problems? Get Over Your Self

Connect With Thomas Smithyman

• Thomas' website
• Thomas' YouTube channel

With over 300 million books sold, Louis L'Amour is one of the bestselling authors of all time. All 120 of his books remain in print. But the greatest story L'Amour ever penned was his own. He spent the early part of his life traveling in a circus, working as a lumberjack and miner, circling the world as a seaman, winning over 50 fights as a professional boxer, and serving in WWII.

Today on the show, I talk about both the personal and professional aspects of Louis' life with his son, Beau L'Amour. We discuss some of Louis' adventures and the autodidactic education he gave himself by way of a voracious reading habit. We then turn to how Louis got started as a writer and how he cut his teeth writing for pulp magazines before breaking through as a Western novelist and becoming a blockbuster success in his sixties.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Louis L'Amour works mentioned in the show:
  • Education of a Wandering Man: A Memoir
  • Hondo
  • Yondering
  • No Traveller Returns
  • The Walking Drum
  • Last of the Breed
  • Louis L'Amour's Lost Treasures, Volume 1 and Volume 2
• "Holding Her Down" by Jack London
• AoM Article: How and Why to Become a Lifelong Learner
• AoM Article: The Libraries of Famous Men — Louis L’Amour

Connect With Beau L'Amour

• The Louis L'Amour website
• Beau's website

What if there was a supplement that could build muscle, maintain bone health, fortify the brain against cognitive decline due to age and stress, and alleviate depression, has been proven safe, and comes with almost no side effects? Well, there is such a supplement, it's been around a long time, and it isn't even expensive. It's creatine.

Here to unpack the myths, benefits, and recommended ways to use creatine is Darren Candow, a professor of exercise physiology and nutrition who supervises the Aging Muscle and Bone Health Laboratory at the University of Regina. Darren specializes in studying creatine and has published over 70 papers on the subject. Today on the show, Darren explains how a supplement often associated with bodybuilders may actually be beneficial for just about everyone — athletes and non-athletes and the young and old alike. He unpacks what creatine does in the body, and how its benefits extend beyond the body and into the brain. He offers recommendations on the formulation of creatine to use, a suggested dosage and whether it should increase with age, and how to avoid the bloating effect. He also shares what we know about creatine's safety, including its effects on the kidneys, and whether it can cause hair loss.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Article: Creatine — A Primer on Its Benefits and Use
• AoM Article: A Primer On Muscle-Building Supplements — Which Work and Which Don’t?
• AoM Podcast #878: The Fitness Supplements That Actually Work
• AoM Podcast #585: Inflammation, Saunas, and the New Science of Depression
• AoM Podcast #852: The Brain Energy Theory of Mental Illness
• Darren's studies

Connect With Darren Candow

• Darren's faculty page
• Darren on IG

Self-control, the ability to resolve a conflict between two competing desires, is frequently touted as the golden key to success. But many of the most popular ideas about self-control are actually at odds with how it really operates.

Here to unpack some of the lesser-understood and counterintuitive ideas around discipline and willpower is Michael Inzlicht, a professor of psychology who has studied the nature of self-regulation in depth. In the first part of our conversation, Michael unpacks the popular ego depletion model of willpower and how it hasn't held up to scientific scrutiny. We then turn to the surprising fact that the people who seem to exhibit a lot of self-control don't actually exercise a lot of discipline and restraint in their lives, that the achievement of goals is more a function of having virtuous desires, and what contributes to having those desires.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Related studies:
  • Perceived Mental Fatigue and Self-Control
  • A Multilab Preregistered Replication of the Ego-Depletion Effect
  • Everyday Temptations: An Experience Sampling Study of Desire, Conflict, and Self-Control
  • New Zealand Study on Trait Self-Control
  • The Moralization of Effort
  • The Mundanity of Excellence
  • The Identity Model of Self-Regulation
  • The Effort Paradox: Effort Is Both Costly and Valued
• AoM Podcast #961: The Mundanity of Excellence
• AoM Article: Motivation Over Discipline
• AoM Article: ¿Tienes Ganas?
• Sunday Firesides: What Looks Like Grit, Is Often Fit
• AoM Article: What Do You Want to Want?

Connect With Michael Inzlicht

• Michael's website
• Michael's faculty page
• Michael on X

For decades, some researchers have argued that the notable human capacity for endurance evolved from the hunting practices of our ancestors, which produced physiological adaptations that make us uniquely well suited for running.

But this theory has always had its detractors.

As my guest explains, a new study addresses these long-standing criticisms and adds evidence that, indeed, we were all born to run.

Alex Hutchinson is a journalist who covers the science of endurance and fitness, and today on the show, he explains what those criticisms were and how this new research counters them. We talk about the role running held amongst peoples of the past, how running is not only primal but cultural and even spiritual, and why we continue to run today, even though we’re not hunting for food. And we discuss how, even if we are born to run, that doesn’t mean everyone will always enjoy running all of the time, and how to get into running if you’re someone who doesn’t feel an innate desire for it.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Alex’s previous appearances on the AoM podcast:
  • Episode #382: How to Lift More, Run Faster, and Endure Longer
  • Episode #538: Research-Backed Answers to All Your Fitness FAQs
• “Why You (Yes, You) Were Born to Run” by Alex Hutchinson
• “Ethnography and Ethnohistory Support the Efficiency of Hunting Through Endurance Running in Humans”
• Indian Running: Native American History and Tradition by Peter Nabokov
• The Hunting Hypothesis by Robert Ardrey
• “The Energetic Paradox of Human Running and Hominid Evolution” — 1984 paper by David Carrier
• Why We Run by Bernd Heinrich
• AoM Podcast #691: What You Can (Really) Learn About Exercise from Your Human Ancestors With Daniel Lieberman
• Born to Run by Christopher McDougall
• “Reexamining the Mythology of the Tarahumara Runners” by Alex Hutchinson
• To the Limit: The Meaning of Endurance from Mexico to the Himalayas by Michael Crawley

Connect With Alex Hutchinson

• Alex’s website
• Alex at Outside

In a family, a lot of the dynamics around devices and screens are reactive in nature. Kids bug for their own smartphones, parents worry they'll be left out without one, and without weighing the pros and cons, give in to their kids' requests. Parents let children have a ton of screen time because it lets the parents do what they want; then, they reach a moment where they feel disturbed about how much time their kids are on screens, berate their children for this habit, which they've facilitated, and vow that things are going to abruptly turn around.

Rather than basing your policies about kids and screens on mood, fear, and impulse, it would be better to do so based on reason and reflection. Emily Cherkin has some ideas on how to get there. Emily is a former teacher, a screentime consultant who helps parents and educators balance the role of devices in kids' lives, and the author of The Screentime Solution: A Judgment-Free Guide to Becoming a Tech-Intentional Family. Today on the show, Emily unpacks the state of screentime amongst kids today, how the "displacement hypothesis" explains how its impact extends beyond a decline in mental health, and why parents give their kids smartphones even when they're not sure it's good for them. We then turn to how families can become more tech intentional, and how that starts with parents taking a look at their own behavior. We discuss why putting parental controls on devices isn't the ultimate solution, why a better one is based on your relationship with your kids, why you need to live your digital life out loud, and some considerations to think through before getting your kid their first smartphone.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Podcast #300: How to Raise Free Range Kids With Lenore Skenazy
• AoM Article: What’s the Right Age to Get a Kid Their First Smartphone? 3 Tech Thinkers Weigh In
• AoM Article: The Best Internet Filter for Kids
• The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt
• The Light Phone

Connect With Emily Cherkin

• Emily's website

Although they may call it different things and approach its attainment in different ways, many of the world’s religions and philosophies have a similar goal: achieving a life of virtue, peace, and flourishing.

In his new book, Seriously Happy, Ben Aldrige explains how anyone can use the wisdom of ancient traditions to improve themselves and live the Good life. Today on the show, Ben offers a thumbnail sketch of Buddhism, Cynicism, Taoism, Stoicism, Epicureanism, and Aristotelianism, along with practices and challenges inspired by these philosophies, including walking a banana, listening to a music performance without music, and taking a Wu Wei adventure, that you can use to put ancient wisdom into action and become a better and happier man.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Ben’s previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #640 — Weird and Wonderful Ways to Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
• AoM Podcast #148: Trying Not to Try
• Why Buddhism is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment by Robert Wright
• John Cage’s 4’33”
• Albert Ellis’ Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

Connect With Ben Aldridge

• Ben’s website

Note: This is a rebroadcast.

Over the last year, my 12-year-old son has been doing one challenge every week as a rite of passage and chance to earn a special trip. Some of these challenges have involved reading a book in a week, and the most recent book we gave him to read was How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie. His review? He said it was the best book he's read so far.

So a book written almost 90 years ago can still be a favorite of a kid in the 21st century. Talk about some staying power. 

The advice in How to Win Friends & Influence People, and Dale Carnegie's other classic, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, is timeless. But to help introduce it to a new audience, my guest, Joe Hart, has recently co-authored the book Take Command, which synthesizes, updates, and adds to the principles of Carnegie's two perennial bestsellers. Joe is the President and CEO of Dale Carnegie & Associates, which continues Carnegie's work in the present day, and we begin our conversation with some background on the guy who kicked off this work back in 1936. We then talk about what principles we can take from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living on developing a positive mindset. From there, we talk about the big overarching principle of How to Win Friends & Influence People, and how you can use it to improve your relationships. We end our conversation with advice on how to live life with more intentionality and meaning.

Resources Related to the Episode

• How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
• How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
• The Dale Carnegie Website, with links to the Take Command book page and the Dale Carnegie Course
• AoM Article: The 8 Best Vintage Self-Improvement Books
• AoM Podcast #818: The Philosophy of Self-Improvement
• AoM Podcast #457: Leadership Lessons With Craig Groeschel
• AoM Podcast #527: The Journey to the Second Half of Life With Richard Rohr
• AoM Podcast #518: The Second Mountain With David Brooks

Connect With Joe Hart

• Joe on Twitter
• Joe on LinkedIn