This episode explores a compelling Buddhist question: does self-hatred, or self-love, make sense if the self is an illusion? Matthew Brensilver, PhD, is a clinical social worker and experienced teacher of meditation retreats. He also worked at an organization called Mindful Schools, which teaches teachers how to teach meditation. 

This episode also explores:

• How and why to view your anger with skepticism
• The relationship between self-love and personal ethics
• What to do if you think you’re a good person but have no interest in changing your behavior to get better
• How to handle a nagging sense of moral un-justifiability
• And how Matthew has arrived at a place of relative peace with his own mortality.

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How to beat perfectionism without lowering your standards.

Dr. Ellen Hendriksen is a clinical psychologist who will help you calm your anxiety and be your authentic self. She serves on the faculty at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (CARD) and is the author of HOW TO BE ENOUGH: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists and HOW TO BE YOURSELF: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety.

In this episode we talk about:

• The relationship between perfectionism and anxiety
• The definition of perfectionism–and why the word is actually a misnomer
• Dr. Hendriksen’s own struggles with perfectionism, and how they manifested physically
• The difference between healthy perfectionism and unhealthy perfectionism
• Changing your relationship with your inner critic 
• Shifting from rigid rules to flexibility
• Keeping high standards while making room for mistakes
• Overcoming procrastination
• Navigating social comparison
• And much more

Related Episodes:

• Strategies for Social Anxiety | Ellen Hendriksen
• Ellen Hendriksen, Rising Above Social Anxiety
• The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross 
• How To Move Into The Future With Optimism Instead Of Anxiety | Frederik Pferdt

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Additional Resources:  

• Ellen Hendriksen on Substack

We’re excited to share with you an episode of the new podcast Proxy, produced by Yowei Shaw. Today: the case of Mic, who feels like he defied his fate and now has no purpose in life. For her new podcast Proxy, Yowei Shaw finds someone uniquely able to help Mic break out of his regret loop. Proxy is a show that investigates niche emotional conundrums through conversations with strangers who have relevant experience. New cases every other Tuesday. You can binge episodes now in the Proxy feed. 

A few ideas for staying sane in insane times, regardless of your political leanings or who you voted for. Related episode: Joseph Goldstein On: Impermanence, Impersonality, And How To Use Mindfulness To Be More Creative

Joseph Goldstein’s book of poetry: Dreamscapes of the Mind

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Plus how to speak up and challenge your own tribe, how to successfully engage with people you disagree with, and more.

Jenara Nerenberg is a journalist and author. Her latest book is called Trust Your Mind: Embracing Nuance in a World of Self-Silencing. She holds degrees from the Harvard School of Public Health and UC Berkeley. She lectures widely on rhetoric, psychology, neurodiversity, sensitivity, innovation and communication. 

In this episode we talk about:

• The phenomenon of groupthink—and its health implications
• The health implications of self-censoring
• Vulnerability in the age of social media
• The role of comedy in pushing back against social norms

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

On psychoanalysis, which we haven’t talked about much on this show.

Dr. Orna Guralnik is a psychoanalyst and writer. Her writing centers on the intersection of psychoanalysis, dissociation, and cultural studies. She has completed the filming of several seasons of the docu-series Couples Therapy.

In this episode we talk about:

• The relationship between happiness and truth 
• How to cultivate love from within
• Practices to support us in being more open-minded (to avoid what she calls a “splitting” mindset)
• Trans-generational history, and how it impacts our personal lives and relationships (in other words, how the ghosts of your ancestors operate in you now)
• One single, powerful question to ask yourself when you get annoyed
• The overlap between Buddhism and psychoanalysis

Related Episodes:

• Why Your Brain Turns The Miraculous Into The Mundane—And How To Fix It | Maria Popova
• George Saunders on: “Holy Befuddlement” and How to Be Less of a “Turd”
• The Profound Upside of Self-Diminishment | George Saunders

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Why even self-help authors can still be messy.

Glennon Doyle is the CEO and Founder of Treat Media, an award-winning media company that makes art for humans who want to stay human. She is an author, podcaster, producer, and philanthropist. Her books include the #1 New York Times bestsellers Untamed and Love Warrior; the New York Times bestseller Carry On, Warrior; and Get Untamed: The Journal.

Abby Wambach is a two-time Olympic gold medalist, FIFA World Cup champion,  six-time winner of the U.S. Soccer Athlete of the Year award and one of Time’s Most Influential People. She is a founder of Treat Media, and the author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller Wolfpack and the New York Times bestseller Forward.

In this episode we talk about:

• Significant personal struggles that happened simultaneously for Glennon, Abby, and Glennon's sister, Amanda
• How that led to them writing a book about the fundamental life questions they believe everyone grapples with
• Why people in the self-help world don’t always have their shit together
• Why trauma leads to dissociation 
• How to “go on” after the experience of grief
• Why we are the way we are
• Family roles, attachment theory, and learned behaviors
• The possibility of personal change
• Our thoughts on the latest season of the White Lotus
• And much more

Related Episodes:

• Abby Wambach On: Grief, Addiction, And Moving From External To Internal Validation
• Glennon Doyle is Rethinking Her Relationship to Social Media, Hustle Culture, Intuition, Her Body, and Her Parents

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Additional Resources: 

• We Can Do Hard Things Book
• We Can Do Hard Things Podcast
• Treat Media
• Untamed
• Wolfpack
• Intimate Terrorism by Michael Vincent Miller

Upgrade your relationship to your wallet.

Lewis Howes is the host of the School of Greatness podcast. He has written several bestselling books. His newest is called Make Money Easy: Your Path to Peace, Freedom, and Financial Abundance. 

In this episode we talk about:

• Overcoming setbacks
• The evolution of podcasting
• Developing a personal mission to help you persist through challenges 
• Habits and mindset shifts to make money easier
• Figuring out your money story and money style…and how this can lead to a money strategy 
• How to continually evolve your relationship to money 
• How to handle money in romantic relationships 
• The art of clearing unnecessary things off your plate so you can grow
• The value of generosity

Related Episodes:

• Lewis Howes, Former Pro-Athlete on Removing 'Mask of Masculinity'
• What Is Holding You Back From Greatness? | Lewis Howes

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How journaling can transform negative emotions into meaning and agency.

Suleika Jaouad is the author of the instant New York Times bestselling memoir, Between Two Kingdoms, which has been translated into over twenty languages, and her highly anticipated new book, The Book of Alchemy, forthcoming in April 2025. She writes the popular weekly newsletter, the Isolation Journals.

In this episode we talk about:

• Suleika’s new book, The Book of Alchemy
• On working with fear and vulnerability 
• Journaling prompts from The Book of Alchemy
• Why Journaling is a team sport

Related Episodes:

• The Science Of Journaling: How Writing Reduces Overthinking, Rumination, And Anxiety | Dr. James Pennebaker (Co-Interviewed By Dr. Bianca Harris)
• Life, Interrupted | Suleika Jaouad 

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Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

Additional Resources: 

• Buy the Dump It Here journal

Dan’s best attempts to answer some listener questions from our Substack community. These questions came from our live Renegade Sangha session on April 8, and all of these sessions are open to paid subscribers. Check out how to join the party at DanHarris.com. 

Anxiety has long been a massive societal issue that spiked during the pandemic, and many of us are still feeling it in 2025.

In this episode, renowned Buddhist monk Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche talks in detail about how he personally works with anxiety and panic and the practices he draws upon when dealing with these states. 

Mingyur began doing long retreats in his teens and now teaches all over the world.  He’s written the books The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness and In Love with the World: A Monk's Journey Through the Bardos of Living and Dying. He also oversees the Tergar Meditation Community, a global network of Buddhist meditation centers.  

This episode was originally published in July 2022.

In this episode we talk about: 

• Working with strong emotions using sound and the breath

• Deconstructing your reality to make it workable

• Understanding what awareness is in a Buddhist sense 

• How to make meditation free-range and available to you all times 

• The simple but also tricky advice of, “stop doing and just be” 

• When to take a step back or even take a break from meditation

• What Mingyur Rinpoche says is the true purpose of the practice.

This interview was recorded in person at the TED conference in April of 2022, where both Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche and Dan Harris spoke.

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