Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Dr Justin Coulson

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

  • 24 minutes 48 seconds
    #1154 - The Surprising Truth About Sports Success From Australia's Most Decorated Olympian: An Interview With Emma McKeon

    Australia's most decorated Olympian, Emma McKeon, shares intimate insights about her journey from young swimmer to Olympic champion, revealing the crucial role her parents played in fostering success without pressure. Her story provides a masterclass in supporting children's sporting endeavors while maintaining joy and balance.

    Key Points:

    • The importance of enjoyment over achievement in youth sports
    • How parental support without pressure builds self-determination
    • Managing early-morning training and self-motivation
    • Balancing multiple activities during teenage years
    • Transforming competition anxiety into positive energy

    Quote of the Episode: "They never pressured me either way to swim or not to swim... They just wanted me to enjoy what I was doing and be happy in what I was doing, find something I was passionate about."

    Key Insights:

    • Success comes from internal motivation, not external pressure
    • The value of maintaining multiple interests and activities
    • How to handle failure and setbacks constructively
    • The importance of supporting children "no matter what"
    • Why enjoyment must precede excellence

    Personal Stories Shared:

    • Missing the 2012 London Olympics by 0.1 seconds
    • Early morning training experiences
    • Having her father as both parent and coach
    • Balancing swimming with other activities

    Resources Mentioned:

    • Self-Determination Theory
    • Research on youth sports participation
    • Multi-sport participation benefits

    Action Steps for Parents:

    1. Focus on enjoyment before achievement
    2. Allow children to set their own goals
    3. Support multiple activities and interests
    4. Help reframe anxiety as excitement
    5. Maintain unconditional support regardless of performance

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    17 January 2025, 6:00 pm
  • 14 minutes 4 seconds
    #1153 - How Doing Nothing Made Us Better Parents

    Can a little “selfishness” make you a better parent? Join Kylie and Justin as they share relatable parenting mishaps, with a reminder that taking care of yourself is a gift to everyone around you.

    Key Points:

    • The value of a "do nothing" holiday
    • Finding permission for personal time
    • How parenting changes across different children
    • The impact of slowing down

    Quote of the Episode: "We've been trained for so long to believe that taking time out for ourselves is selfish. And we've got to change the narrative." - Kylie Coulson

    Key Insights:

    • Younger children often get different versions of their parents
    • Taking time for yourself makes you better for everyone else
    • Growth and maturity in parenting benefit all children differently
    • Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what families need

    Action Steps:

    1. Give yourself permission for personal time
    2. Recognize different seasons of parenting
    3. Look for ways to connect with older children
    4. Create space for new family traditions

    Resources Mentioned:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    16 January 2025, 6:00 pm
  • 13 minutes 38 seconds
    #1152 - Why Inside Out 2 is Essential Viewing for Every Parent

    Inside Out 2 isn’t just a movie—it’s a parenting masterclass on navigating the beautiful chaos of adolescence! Justin and Kylie Coulson explore the profound parenting insights from Inside Out 2, discussing teen brain development, emotional complexity, and why this film offers valuable understanding for parents.

    Key Points:

    • Teen brain development and the "construction zone" phase
    • The role of anxiety in adolescent decision-making
    • How emotions work together (or sometimes don't)
    • Why perfect isn't possible or desirable
    • The importance of embracing all experiences, both good and bad

    Quote of the Episode: "Life is supposed to be joyful. It's just that it can't stay that way all the time." - Justin Coulson

    Key Insights:

    • Understanding teen brain development through visual metaphors
    • How anxiety can both protect and hinder
    • The exhaustion of trying to maintain constant positivity
    • Why difficult experiences contribute to wholeness
    • The complexity of managing multiple emotions

    Research Referenced:

    • Dr. Lisa Damour's work on teen psychology
    • Adolescent brain development research
    • The role of the prefrontal cortex in teen decision-making

    Action Steps for Parents:

    1. Watch the film with your teens
    2. Discuss emotional complexity openly
    3. Acknowledge the challenge of growth
    4. Embrace imperfection
    5. Create space for all emotions

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    15 January 2025, 6:00 pm
  • 17 minutes 31 seconds
    #1151 - Nervous Kids? An Olympic Champion's Surprising Advice

    Emma McKeon, with 14 Olympic medals, knows what it takes to excel without burning out—and she credits her parents for getting the balance just right. In this episode, we dive into Emma’s upbringing to uncover strategies for encouraging kids to pursue their passions with joy and self-determination. From transforming performance anxiety into a secret weapon to helping children develop discipline on their own terms, this conversation offers invaluable insights for every parent. Tune in to learn how to support your child’s journey—whether they’re a budding athlete, artist, or simply exploring what they love.

    Key Points:
    - Finding the balance between encouragement and pressure
    - The role of self-determination in achievement
    - How to support children through performance anxiety
    - Why giving space for autonomy leads to better outcomes
    - The importance of maintaining joy in activities


    Personal Stories Shared:
    - Annie's piano journey from age 3 to 17
    - Kylie's telegraph pole experience and anxiety management
    - The statistical rarity of Olympic athletes (0.002%)

    Quote of the Episode:
    "Nerves are showing you that you're doing something brave and worthwhile." - Emma McKeon

    Key Insights for Parents:
    "Sometimes when our kids are in that tricky space, we often fill that space with unnecessary noise. We call it encouragement. But what they actually need is our quiet patience." - Kylie Coulson
    - Allow children to drive their own interests
    - Create quiet space for processing anxiety
    - Remember it's their life, not ours

    Maintaining Perspective:
    "It's important that we don't crush what brings them joy... The important thing is that they're doing things that bring them joy and light them up." - Kylie Coulson
    - Success looks different for every child
    - Focus on enjoyment over achievement
    - Allow space for changing interests

    The Bigger Picture:
    "There are loads and loads of fully functional, wonderful people who quit music or who quit sport and have still gone on to live good lives and even achieve and accomplish in other areas in their lives." - Justin Coulson
    - Achievement isn't limited to childhood pursuits
    - Life offers multiple paths to success
    - Early decisions don't determine lifetime outcomes

    Resources Mentioned:
    - Dr. Lisa Damour's work on anxiety management
    - Emma McKeon's full interview (airing Saturday)
    - happyfamilies.com.au

    Action Steps for Listeners:
    1. Reflect on whether you're supporting or pushing
    2. Practice giving space during moments of anxiety
    3. Focus on enjoyment over achievement
    4. Allow children to set their own goals and pace
    5. Remember that quitting one thing doesn't mean failure in life

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    14 January 2025, 6:00 pm
  • 17 minutes 48 seconds
    #1150 - From 'Mid' to Meaningful: 5 Questions That Get Kids Talking

    Ever feel like you’re stuck in the loop of “How was your day?” and hearing “meh” in response? Justin and Kylie share research-backed strategies for having meaningful conversations with your children, including five core questions that build emotional intelligence and resilience. Learn why timing and technique matter more than the questions themselves, and discover how these conversations can significantly reduce anxiety and depression in children. 

    Key Points:
    - The power of well-timed, meaningful conversations
    - How conversations build executive function and emotional regulation
    - The connection between parent-child discussions and mental health
    - Why traditional questions often fail to engage kids
    - The importance of timing and technique in family discussions

    Research Highlights:
    - Harvard's Center on the Developing Child: Back-and-forth conversations build executive function
    - Minnesota longitudinal study: Regular meaningful conversations improve emotional intelligence
    - Arizona State University: 48% lower rates of anxiety and depression in kids who have regular meaningful discussions with parents

    Quote of the Episode:
    "Sometimes when we're having difficult conversations, we handle the conversations better if we're actually doing something side by side." - Kylie Coulson

    The Five Core Questions:
    1. What are some things you're most excited about for 2025?
    2. Is there anything you're nervous or worried about this year?
    3. What's something you'd love to learn or try this year?
    4. When do you feel most like you?
    5. What qualities do you admire in others and which ones would you like to develop in yourself?

    Key Techniques:
    - The WAIT Principle (Why Am I Talking?)
    - Using strategic silence
    - The power of "Tell me more"
    - Avoiding problem-solving unless asked
    - Side-by-side conversations

    Best Times for Conversations:
    - During dinner
    - Bedtime
    - Walking together
    - Car rides
    - Over breakfast

    Resources Mentioned:
    - Harvard's Center on the Developing Child research
    - Minnesota longitudinal study
    - Dr. Suniya Luther's research at Arizona State University
    - happyfamilies.com.au

    Action Steps for Parents:
    1. Choose the right timing for conversations
    2. Practice the WAIT principle
    3. Use side-by-side activities for difficult discussions
    4. Create regular conversation opportunities at dinner
    5. Focus on listening rather than problem-solving

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    13 January 2025, 6:00 pm
  • 15 minutes 39 seconds
    #1149 - The 2025 Family Reboot: Using The WISE Approach

    Justin and Kylie kick off 2025 with a powerful discussion about resetting family life using their WISE Family Reset framework. After experiencing burnout in 2024, they share personal insights about slowing down and making intentional changes for the year ahead.

    Quotes of the Episode:

    "We're not striving for perfection. We're striving for small, incremental changes." - Justin Coulson
    "It's not about getting more things done. It's about getting the right things done." - Greg McKeown

    Key Points:
    - The challenge of feeling constantly busy but not productive
    - How burnout affects family dynamics and personal wellbeing
    - The importance of creating space for personal reflection
    - Introduction to the WISE Family Reset framework

    The WISE Family Reset Framework:

    Work out what matters
    * Create personal space for reflection
    * Understand individual and family priorities

    Implement tiny changes
    * Start with small, manageable adjustments
    * Avoid overwhelming yourself with too many changes at once

    Sync as a team
    * Get everyone involved in the planning
    * Create buy-in through collaboration

    Encourage, don't nag
    * Focus on positive reinforcement
    * Have important conversations at the right time
    * Avoid being the "police" when it comes to rules

    Resources Mentioned:
    Book: "Essentialism" by Greg McKeown
    Website: happyfamilies.com.au

    Action Steps for Listeners:
    1. Schedule some "escape time" for personal reflection
    2. Identify one small change to implement this week
    3. Plan a family meeting to discuss priorities for 2025
    4. Practice encouragement instead of nagging

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    12 January 2025, 6:00 pm
  • 13 minutes 24 seconds
    #1148 - The 3 Levels of Christmas

    Ever wondered how to go beyond the tinsel and treats of Christmas to create a truly holy and meaningful celebration? Justin and Kylie Coulson take you on a journey through the "Three Levels of Christmas," offering heartfelt ideas and inspiring stories to bring joy and purpose to your family’s holiday season.

    Whether it's singing carols, setting up nativity scenes, or reflecting on deeper spiritual themes, this episode is full of inspiration for making Christmas a time of connection, love, and purpose.

    In this episode:

    • Understanding different perspectives & beliefs
    • Creating a Christ-centred Christmas
    • The three levels of Christmas:
      • Level 1: Santa Claus, gifts, & festive indulgence
      • Level 2: The nativity story & spiritual reflection
      • Level 3: Celebrating Jesus' life & message
    • Ideas for making Christmas more meaningful, including carolling, nativity scenes, & giving back
    • Stories from listeners about their faith-centred Christmas traditions

    Related Links:

    Find us on Facebook or TikTok

    Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

    Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected]

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    19 December 2024, 6:00 pm
  • 11 minutes 48 seconds
    #1147 - How to Unspoil the Kids at Christmas

    Does Christmas gift-giving feel more like a burden than a joy as you try to find a balance between gift-giving and avoiding entitlement?

    Dr. Justin Coulson and Kylie discuss how to preserve the magic of the season while avoiding the trap of indulgence and entitlement.

    In this episode:

    • Finding perspective
    • Reflecting on the true meaning of Christmas
    • Having zero agenda—relationships, games, joyful moments
    • What to do when Christmas is hard
    • Focusing on others—emphasising giving, kindness, and family traditions over materialism
    • The Secret to Happiness? Giving.—Elizabeth Dunn research

    Related Links:

    Find us on Facebook or TikTok

    Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

    Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected]

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    18 December 2024, 6:00 pm
  • 13 minutes 34 seconds
    #1146 - Road Trip Sanity Savers

    "Are we there yet?"

    Long family road trips can definitely be painful, BUT they can also be a great opportunity for some quality family time! We share a list of some helpful road trip games to keep everyone entertained.

    • I-spy
    • Spotto
    • I went to the shops and I bought
    • The alphabet game
    • Car cricket
    • Old MacDonald Had A Farm
    • The Goanna Gang
    • Bingo
    • This Is The Song That Never Ends
    • Peel The Avocado
    • The Fart Game
    • Stay quiet or else!

    Find us on Facebook or TikTok

    Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

    Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected]

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    17 December 2024, 6:00 pm
  • 11 minutes 23 seconds
    #1145 - Merry Movie Marathon

    Some Christmas movies that will keep your children from getting underfoot while you get the gifts wrapped!

    G-rated options:

    • The Polar Express
    • Klaus
    • Arthur Christmas
    • Elf
    • Home Alone
    • Santa Clause

    Honourable (grown up) mentions:

    • Christmas Chronicles
    • Bad Santa
    • The Holiday

    Nativity movies:

    Purchase Tis the Season to be Cranky or How to Unspoil your Kids this Christmas

    Find us on Facebook or TikTok

    Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

    Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected]

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    16 December 2024, 6:00 pm
  • 12 minutes 38 seconds
    #1144 - Our Favourite Christmas Traditions

    Christmas is a time where we can really lean into and celebrate family traditions! 

    Christmas traditions:

    • Gifts, Santa. decorating
    • Spending time with loved ones
    • Advent, carols, the nativity
    • Christmas Eve, stockings, pyjamas, Jolabokaflod
    • Christmas ninjas - giving & serving others

    Related Links:

    Find us on Facebook or TikTok

    Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

    Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to [email protected]

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    15 December 2024, 6:00 pm
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