We hate absolutes, but are pretty confident in saying that every relationship has a pursuer and a withdrawer. In this two part series we are breaking down each of these roles, how to help, how to love, how to communicate. And if there are two podcasts you listen to of ours let this be them!

In this episode, we discuss:

• The protective moves that withdrawers gravitate towards
• How withdrawers handle conflict
• How we can love our withdrawer partners more
• How there is a different energy between pursuers and withdrawers

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Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

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In this episode Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive through what it means to be relational over being right. We've heard it said before that you can be right or you can be in a relationship. Which is so hard when you like being right as much as we all do! We also dig through how we get so focused on the content of the conversation but how the process is really what is important. 

In the episode, we touch on topics such as:

• Focusing on how vs what
• Understanding emotional needs
• Effective Communication Strategies
• Why we are not pavlov’s dogs
• and more!

Sponsored

Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code IDO for 40% off. 

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

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In today's episode Colter, Lauren and Cayla explore the relationship between emotional needs and actionable requests in the context of individuation. They discuss how recognizing individual differences and pairing emotional needs with specific requests can enhance communication and connection in relationships. The episode highlights practical strategies for navigating common relational challenges, emphasizing the importance of understanding and negotiating needs.

In the episode, we touch on topics such as:

• Understanding Individuation
• Emotional Needs vs. Actionable Requests
• Raw Spots and Their Influence
• Negotiation and Boundaries
• Effective Communication Strategies
• and more!

Episode Links

Actionable Requests Document

Emotional Needs Document

Sponsored

Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code IDO for 40% off. 

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

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In this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter Bloxom, Lauren Mokarry, and Cayla Bozovich explore the concept of the "Window of Tolerance," a framework developed by Dr. Dan Siegel. They discuss its importance in maintaining emotional regulation and improving relationships. The hosts delve into how understanding this concept can help navigate stress, build resilience, and foster healthier interpersonal dynamics.

In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include:

• Window of Tolerance Overview
• Emotional Regulation
• Fight, Flight, Freeze Impulses
• Triggers and Resources
• Relational Applications
• Practical Tools

Sponsored

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

Episode Links

Thrive Therapy

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On this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren sit down with the long-running Relationship Advice podcast host Chase Kosterlitz as he reflects on ten years of hosting, sharing key lessons/insights about relationships and emphasizing the importance of friendships and somatic practices for personal growth and relational well-being.

In this episode we discuss topics that include:

• Chase's Reflections on Hosting
• Attachment Styles
• Effective Communication
• Balance in Relationships
• Friendships and Support Networks
• Therapeutic and Somatic Practices

Sponsored

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

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This episode introduces the foundations of a healthy relationship through four key pillars. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren use relatable examples, such as navigating differing preferences in dance lessons or understanding the dynamic between pursuers and withdrawers, to illustrate these concepts. They emphasize the importance of shared language, emotional safety, and empathy in building deeper connections. Rather than prescribing rigid rules, the episode advocates for learning and practicing relational skills through therapy and real-life experiences.

In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include:

• Emotional Regulation / Window of Tolerance
• Recognizing/Breaking Negative Cycles
• Vulnerability
• Emotional Connection
• Roles of Boundaries 
• Building Skills Through Practice

Sponsored

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Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we sit down with licensed therapists and our incoming Relationship Advice hosts Colter, Cayla, and Lauren to talk about the "protective moves," or behaviors people exhibit during conflict to shield themselves emotionally or regain a sense of control in relationships. These 3 are experienced therapists specializing in attachment, trauma, and anxiety, explore how these moves—like defensiveness, criticism, passive aggressiveness, avoidance, or over explaining—are common yet often disconnecting strategies.

Key Points Include:

• Understanding Protective Moves
• Examples and Intentions
• Origins and Patterns
• Moving Through Conflict
• Building Resources

The hosts emphasized that while protective moves are natural, fostering awareness and understanding can transform them from barriers to bridges in relationships. They closed by advocating for patience, self-compassion, and communication to navigate these dynamics effectively.

Sponsors:

Quince, this holiday season, give the gift of luxury without the luxury price tag with Quince. Enjoy free shipping on your order and hassle-free 365-day returns at QUINCE.COM/IDO.

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is a real treat as I have a wide ranging conversation with Diego Perez, aka, Yung Pueblo. Listen to today's show for valuable insights and tools to improve your life and relationships today. 

In this episode with Diego Perez we discuss relationship advice topics that include:

• What to do if you feel your partner is not self aware
• The importance of being loosely attached to your views while in conversation
• Why the ego loves sameness
• Diego's writing process and where he draws inspiration from
• How to create more depth in your relationship
• Tools for nervous system regulation
• And much more!

Sponsored

BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. Start living a happier life today and get 10% off your first month by visiting BetterHelp.com/IDO.

Osea is your one stop shop for everything related to great quality skincare. From December 12th to the 18th get Free 2-Day Shipping on orders $150+ and an additional 10% off when using the code "IDO10"! #OSEAPartner

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah

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The pursuit of happiness is one of the most talked about topics in the self-help world and life in general. What does it mean to be happy? Perhaps the pursuit of happiness is actually just a myth and what we really want to be looking for is joy and contentment. Listen to today's show for important questions to ask yourself and tools to discover what real happiness means. 

In this episode with Shawn Léon Nowotnik we discuss

relationship advice topics that include:

• The importance of creating meaning in your life and relationships
• The commercialization of happiness and how it can lead you down the wrong path
• Tools to discover your most authentic self and live authentically
• Challenging the idea that you have to be perfect
• What to do when you feel like you have everything and still are not happy
• And much more!

Sponsored

Quince, this holiday season, give the gift of luxury without the luxury price tag with Quince. Enjoy free shipping on your order and hassle-free 365-day returns at QUINCE.COM/IDO.

Osea is your one stop shop for everything related to great quality skincare. From December 12th to the 18th get Free 2-Day Shipping on orders $150+ and an additional 10% off when using the code "IDO10"! #OSEAPartner

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Navigating a relationship where you or your partner suffers from chronic pain can be very challenging. Listen to today's show to learn more about healing your chronic pain and how to support your partner on their journey while maintaining a healthy relationship. 

In this episode with Bonnie Lester we discuss relationship advice topics that include:

• The biological, social and physical impacts of pain
• Using neuroplasticity tools and exercises for chronic pain reduction
• The importance of developing a language around pain
• Keys to healing and improving chronic pain
• How to support a partner with chronic pain
• Navigating the economic challenges of chronic pain
• And much more!

Sponsored

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people have experienced anxiety at some point in their lives. For some, anxiety can be frequent and debilitating. No matter the levels of anxiety you experience, we could all benefit from calmer, more peaceful states of being. Listen to today's show to learn how to heal your anxiety and thrive in your life and relationships. 

In this episode with Dr. Nicole Cain we discuss relationship advice topics that include:

• Understanding the different features of anxiety to help heal them
• Four actionable steps to move through anxiety with proven effectiveness
• Why it's important to get out of your logical brain to heal anxiety
• Reclaiming your agency to help cope with anxiety
• Bridging the gap between the mind and the body to heal your anxiety
• Breathwork exercises to help with anxiety
• How to reprogram yourself to break the cycle of anxiety
• And much more!

Sponsored

BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. Start living a happier life today and get 10% off your first month by visiting BetterHelp.com/IDO.

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices