A 7-year-old has been behaving rudely toward his parents by giving them "attitude" and resisting when they give him directions. He says rebellious things, reacts strongly to minor disappointments, and even gets physically aggressive. The mom writes: "I feel at a loss for how to correct this perceived defiance...We're at a new low for us. It's starting to feel like he's too old to be acting out this way." Janet offers her perspective and suggestions in this episode. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Parenting is a tough job and, if you're like many of us, navigating effective discipline is the most challenging part of it. We need clarity! For this reason, many have appreciated Janet's recent episode: "Strict is Loving". You've also had questions—lots of questions—in regard to walking (what can seem to be) the fine line between too strict and too permissive. Janet addresses many of your questions in this episode, offering her perspective on issues with kids and peers, transitions, behavior during tantrums, intervening with pets, and more. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Progress not perfection… Be thankful for what you have… It's okay not to win… Embrace differences... Follow your own path... It's okay to cry... We all have life lessons that we hope to instill in our kids. Many of you shared yours with Janet on Facebook recently. What are the most effective ways to teach these lessons? As with all aspects of parenting, the answers may not be as clear and simple as we expect. Janet offers her perspective and advice in this episode. 

Janet's Facebook discussion on life lessons is here: https://tinyurl.com/46j2bkjy

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey returns to ‘Unruffled’ to share healing insights she's gained from her intense struggles as a parent of twins. The emotional reactions our kids stir up in us can take us by surprise. Worse, they can keep us feeling stuck repeating dynamics with our kids that seem to be driving us apart. We often know how we "should" respond but can't remain calm enough to do that in the moment! As Elisabeth explains, our reactions are often indicators of past hurts that need healing, and she inspires us to explore them with curiosity and self-compassion, showing us the way in this episode. 

You can learn more about Elisabeth and access her resources at: BeatingTrauma.com.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Janet's "all feelings allowed" approach to parenting is sometimes misconstrued as permissive, passive, lax on boundaries. But as Janet clarifies in this episode, the exact opposite is true! She describes how acquiescing to our kids' whims and demands, giving them multiple chances to comply with our directions, or making it our job to console them when our rules disappoint can be a set-up for failure for our kids and us. She explains how respectful parenting is actually quite strict, and why, in her view, strict is much kinder and more loving than the alternative, builds better relationships, and encourages lifelong emotional resiliency in our kids.  

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A mom fears that her gentle, respectful approach to her toddler's feelings and behaviors is too permissive and isn't teaching her to treat others with kindness and respect. She says she’s been following Janet’s approach from the beginning, but when her daughter kicks and screams and generally melts down, she can't help but question if simply acting calm and acknowledging her feelings is the right attitude.   "... This isn't getting better, it's getting worse, and I feel like maybe I'm going down the wrong path or there's something I'm doing wrong." Janet encourages this parent to be more assertive with her own personal boundaries and clarifies what she means when she recommends accepting and acknowledging feelings. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Janet consults with a single mom who is alarmed by her toddler's strong reactions and aggressive behavior. She seems easily and almost constantly upset—hits, pushes, and bites her mother and brother—and won't be consoled. "When she is crying for a little while because of me taking something away, I console her and say, 'I know you didn't want me to take that away. I'm so sorry I had to, it was not safe.' I will pick her up and rub her back and she will slap me." Naturally, this mom wonders where such intense, angry reactions from her daughter could be coming from and how to effectively respond.  

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Starting a new school, going back to school, or starting daycare is one of the most challenging transitions for our kids —and us—at this early stage of their lives. It means a new routine, new caregivers and friends, and many unknowns. It’s normal for both parent and child to feel some trepidation, and it’s rare that our child will accept all the changes willingly or gracefully. Usually, we can expect some strong expression of feeling in the home either before, during, or after the transition—short fuses, prickliness, whining, crying, tantrums—and these feelings may linger for many months. For our part, as parents, it’s difficult not to feel guilty and question our decisions when our child seems so unsettled. Janet has three suggestions that can make this important time in our lives easier for all of us.  

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When our kids' behavior seems negative or inappropriate, we know we should disallow it. But what if the behavior continues? Or goes from bad to worse? What is our child needing from us or telling us that we're missing? There's often a simple, yet easy to overlook, answer.  In this episode, Janet responds to notes from parents who have become alarmed by their kids' recent behavior. One child seems hooked on playing that he's a "bad guy" and becomes physically aggressive. Another tells his parents he wants to hurt them. A third is sneaking food and even medicine. These parents are unerringly patient and empathetic, but nothing seems to work. One parent writes: “It's been getting more intense over the past several months, and I really want it to stop, but I don't know how. Am I doing something wrong?” Janet has an idea for what they may be missing, and she explains how it applies in each of these families' situation.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When we're concerned about our kids' behavior, their stress and difficult moods, a lack of motivation, or an overall sense that we're not in harmony with them — the solution almost certainly comes down to "less." In this episode, Janet is joined by Kim John Payne, M.ED., renowned family consultant, lecturer, and author of the seminal parenting guide “Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids.” The book has been aptly described as “a manifesto for protecting the grace of childhood,” and there is much of Kim’s science-backed approach which supports and complements Janet’s. In their view, our fast-paced, competitive culture (“too much, too soon”) takes the joy out of parenting and can overwhelm our children, causing anxiety, insecurity, and many common behavioral problems. Kim and Janet discuss how the power of less can create the family life we always imagined and allow children to thrive.

Kim John Payne's resources are at: SimplicityParenting.com/

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Children are innately driven to play, and the benefits are enormous. They're also driven to seek our attention and connection, so how can we encourage our kids' play without becoming their constant playmate? In this episode Janet dispels seven common misunderstandings that make the lifelong habit (and gift) of self-directed play much more challenging to foster. She suggests helpful alternatives that not only encourage play, but also bolster self-esteem and strengthen parent-child bonds. 

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.