Faith-Filled Learning Wins 555

“Hey, welcome back to the podcast! I’m your host, and today, we’re jumping into another part in our series on finding the best homeschool curriculum from a Christian perspective. Last time, we discussed homeschooling rock stars, raising kingdom builders, and why homeschooling works. If you missed it, go check it out! (LINK HERE) The next podcast will be about learning styles, teaching styles, and how to tailor things to your family. Today, we’re discussing how you can integrate your faith into learning, balancing structure and freedom, fostering independence, building community, and tackling those inevitable challenges.

My husband and I mentor engaged couples at our church, and one lady asked me an excellent question: How were we able to encourage our children in their faith without being pushy? It made me think, and I found that the answer is built into parts of this podcast. We lived our faith, and it was by example that our children realized this was what they wanted for their lives: love for the Lord and a life-balance.

Thanks to our sponsor, CTCMath.com visit the website for more information.

Whether you’re a seasoned homeschooler or just starting out I’m so happy you joined me today.

So, living our faith and learning. How do the two work together? How do we integrate faith into learning? As Christian homeschoolers, our faith isn’t parked. It isn’t on a shelf, it is who we are, Christ lives within us. Every subject can point back to the miracles of our Creator God. God is truth. Take science—studying creation can spark awe for the Creator, like Psalm 19 says: ‘The heavens declare the glory of God.’ History? It’s His story unfolding. Even math shows His order and consistency.

Methods like the Classical approach love this—it’s all about connecting ideas to big truths, often through a biblical lens. Or the Charlotte Mason method, with its focus on living books—reading stories that reflect virtue and God’s design. The key is weaving faith naturally into the day, not just tacking on a Bible study. True confessions—we did this from time to time, but we also had a Bible timeline we pinned on the wall and added to it as we studied different periods of Bible history. Deuteronomy 6 reminds us to talk about God’s ways all the time. So whether it’s a nature walk or a multiplication table, we can gently show our kids how it all ties back to Him.

The amazing thing about children is they catch on quickly. Soon, you will have the children pointing out aspects of their studies that show God’s glory. It is beautiful to see. Homeschooling gives us that freedom.

It also gives us the freedom to structure our classwork in the best way that works for our family. This can be a daunting task for some parents and children. If there is too much structure, your children may become easily bored or feel boxed in—too little, and there is no sense of organization or direction. Some of us thrive on a structured approach, a traditional method that uses textbooks and workbooks, and others consider a precise schedule to be a blessing.

Most kids thrive when there is a routine. A routine is different than a structured and timed schedule. Having a routine such as one before school starts helps your day begin in the same way. What will you do? Eat breakfast, brush your teeth, and maybe have a short Bible session before you begin the school day, which helps set the tone. We always prayed before starting school and recited the Pledge of Allegiance, with children taking turns holding the flag. Routines are easy to remember and help our body rhythms.

Here’s where faith guides us: Proverbs 16:9 says we plan our way, but the Lord directs our steps. So set a framework—maybe daily Bible reading or math drills—but leave room for God to nudge you. One day, my plan got derailed by a deep discussion about forgiveness after a sibling squabble. That flexibility? It’s wonderful. Finding the rhythm that keeps you sane and your kids growing is so important.

But what about learning? Some parents have other things they must accomplish each day, and I was one of them. I helped my husband with his construction business, often with invoicing and payroll. My goal was to do more than teach facts; it was to foster independent learning. I wanted to raise kids who love learning and seek God independently. I wanted kids who started out with my faith but made it their own choice. I began small. I allowed my kids time to think. This meant that after they were done with the requirements, they could explore things of interest to them. I often asked open-ended questions for them to research and explore. This doesn’t mean we leave them totally to their own devices. Checking up on them often is helpful.

Ephesians 4:11-12 talks about equipping the saints for works of service—that’s our kids too! At one point, my daughter was interested in getting a theology degree and audited a college-level class while in high school. This came about because of an intense class we studied and because I gave her space. It’s not about handing them a curriculum and walking away—it’s guiding them to own their learning. That’s discipleship in action, preparing them for a lifetime of following Christ.

What about building a supportive community? Finding others who want the same things for their children and also homeschooling. Homeschooling is growing, but finding like-minded friends can be a challenge. I was frustrated at one point of my homeschooling journey, and I prayed to the Lord. I asked Him to send me friends! And He did! They are life-long friends and I cherish them long after our homeschool journey was over. Homeschooling can feel isolating, but God designed us for fellowship. Hebrews 10:24-25 urges us to spur one another on. Co-ops are huge in homeschooling—whether it’s a Classical group doing Socratic discussions or an Eclectic mix of families swapping skills. Even a park day with other homeschoolers counts!

I know of people who swap babysitting time for piano lessons with another mom—one teaches, and the other gets a break. It’s a win-win. Community also keeps us accountable—someone to pray with when you’re doubting yourself. Look for families who share your faith and values. It’s not just about the kids; it’s about us parents staying encouraged too. God uses others to lift us, don’t skip this important aspect. Many of us have found community online. Our Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network has a private Facebook group here. You can join that as well! I’d love to chat with you, just be sure to tag my name for a response.

Homeschooling has so many benefits, but there are challenges as well if we are honest. Managing homeschool challenges is one way that not only helps us grow but shows our children that we stand by our faith in God even when things get hard. Each one of us has days when kids won’t focus, the math book is lost for the ten-thousandth time, the house is a mess, and you’re questioning everything. That’s normal! Burnout does happen, and it’s important to give yourself and your kids some space. (Peaceful Homeschool.)

But why does burnout happen? Often, it is because you are stuck in a method that does not work. For me, it was a traditional method and schedule when I was more the unit study method. As I shared in a previous podcast, I didn’t want my kids to fall behind, so it took me a few years of homeschooling to plunge into unit studies. Step back, pray, and ask the Lord for help. James 1:5 promises wisdom if we ask.

Doubts creep in too—the evil one isn’t happy you are homeschooling. Thoughts like, “Am I enough?” plague even the most capable. Spoiler alert: you’re not, but God is. Lean on Him. Keep a Praise Journal handy and write only your praise reports. All those things that work well in your day – and be on the lookout they do happen. Like when your kid finally gets fractions or prays on their own. When your husband comes home early and offers to take the kids out to play while you finish dinner—or offers to finish it for you, it’s a lifeline for tough days. Challenges don’t mean failure—they’re chances to trust God more.

After many years of homeschooling, I have to say, please cherish these days. Homeschooling is a wild, beautiful ride, and God’s right there with us. Thanks for hanging out today—drop me a note if this resonates with you! Next time, we’ll explore another angle of this journey. Until then, keep pointing your family to Christ, and I’ll talk to you soon.

The post Faith-Filled Learning Wins appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Raising Homeschool Rock Stars 554

Have you considered the possibility that you are raising homeschool rock stars?  The perfect homeschool path for your family, all through a Christian lens. If you’ve caught Parts 1 and 2, you know we’ve covered learning styles, teaching styles, and integrating faith. Today, we’re tackling a topic on the minds of those who consider homeschooling yet are afraid to commit completely. What is that? Maybe you’ve asked this question yourself. How well do homeschoolers actually do academically? Parents want to know: Does homeschooling really work? So we will look at the outcomes, from test scores to real-life preparation, with some key points to consider. Once again, I won’t name specific curriculums, just principles and some homeschool methods. For a good resource to homeschool curriculum based on your teaching style and your child’s learning styles, visit CathyDuffyReviews.com for a tool to search for a curriculum that fits your family’s needs.

Did you know that Homeschoolers excel academically? This is one of the most asked questions by parents who wonder if homeschooling works. I worried that my kids were going to have holes in their education or wondered if they would keep up with their peer group. Well, you’ll be happy to know that if they do the work, the answer’s a resounding yes. Studies—like ones from the National Home Education Research Institute—show homeschoolers consistently score 15 to 30 points higher on standardized tests than public school peers, often landing in the 80th to 90th percentile. That’s not just math or reading; it’s across the board. This is way better than certain state averages that have made the headlines with the news that 4th graders can’t read.

You may wonder why homeschoolers excel. Some attribute it to methods like the Classical approach that drill deep into logic and reasoning—think Socratic discussions about Scripture or history. Or the Charlotte Mason method, with its rich, living books that spark curiosity. Or unit studies that do a deep dive into a specific topic using an all-senses approach with lots of hands-on learning with a focus on science and history.

The main driving force not often discussed is that the parents are involved in their child’s education. They are right there and engaged in the learning alongside their students. This can not be over-emphasized. Your kids will excel when they see you are interested in what they are doing. As Christians, we see this as stewardship. Proverbs 1:7 says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. When we tailor learning to our kids, they thrive. Parents aren’t just winging it; they’re leaning into God-given potential, and the results speak for themselves.”

What about mastery? Flexibility boosts mastery. Here’s where homeschooling shines. If you’ve searched through the homeschooling stats online, you’ll see that homeschooling comes out on top. Parents love the fact that there is flexibility in their schedule and curriculum choices. It’s not a one-size-fits-all. Public schools often rush through the material, but homeschooling lets kids master a concept before moving on. Is your child struggling with fractions? Take an extra week. Is your child flying through biology? Let them read ahead.

One of my favorite methods that incorporates all learning types and strengths within my children is The Unit Study method. It ties all of this together—maybe you’re exploring Creation through science, art, and the Bible. Or Unschooling, where a kid’s passion for astronomy leads to deep dives you’d never get in a classroom. Colossians 3:17 says to do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to the Father through Him—flexibility lets us honor that, giving kids time to grasp God’s world fully. I know I cherish this control, and it pays off in understanding, not just grades. It encouraged my children to find their passions, and this has stayed with them through the years.

But, what if I want my children to attend higher education, for example, College?  New to homeschooling? You may wonder if homeschoolers get into college. The answer? Absolutely! The stats show that about two-thirds graduate from college, outpacing the national average. Colleges like Harvard and Stanford often recruit homeschoolers for their self-discipline and unique perspectives. Wherever your child goes to college, hopefully somewhere that will encourage their faith, they will shine among other students.

What about those who are not college-bound? That gives you some flexibility in the home to develop topics to study in areas of interest. If you want a “traditional” high school graduation, there are some prerequisites in certain states. Some students opt out of college and attend work programs that encourage entrepreneurship or vocational training. Homeschooled students are often self-motivated and lack the peer restraints in traditional schools. This allows the child to excel.

What about a traditional method? Workbooks, textbooks, or online learning. Sure, with it’s structured approach—this mimics traditional school and there may be an ease that transitions to college. But even Eclectic homeschoolers, mixing and matching curriculum choices, do well because they’ve learned to learn. As Christian parents, we raise kids for eternity, not just diplomas—Ephesians 2:10 says we’re created for good works (not so we can boast)—but good works prepared by the Lord working through us. Homeschooling builds thinkers who can carry that into adulthood, and the data backs it up. Why do we care? Because most people researching homeschooling want at least some assurance that homeschooling works. And, it does!

But my child won’t be socialized. Friends, that was one of the most asked questions when I spoke on the conference circuit for twelve years. Will my child have social skills? Will my kid be weird? No! Not unless you and your husband and entire family are weird. Okay—calm down I am just kidding! Research shows that homeschoolers often outperform peers in social, emotional, and psychological development. They’re in co-ops, church groups, music lessons, and sports—98% do five or more activities a week.

Methods like Charlotte Mason foster narration and discussion—great for communication. Or there are Unit Studies, where kids collaborate on projects like reenacting a period of history, giving a speech, or memorizing the Gettysburg Address. Again, I’m joking, but you get the point. Many kids thrive on socialization and look to the adults in their lives to discuss things with them.

Hebrews 10:24-25 calls us to encourage one another—homeschooling doesn’t isolate; it builds community on our terms. We can easily join homeschool groups, but as a parent, I was selective. When criticized, I point out that as adults, we select our friends based on preference; why can’t we do that as homeschoolers? The reality? Homeschoolers are equipped to shine for Christ in the world.

I believe the most important aspect is that homeschooling is not just about test scores. It is about capturing your child’s heart. While we as adults place our definition of success on the test scores, we will find that yes—those will come, but the outcome of spending time with your child at home is that homeschoolers become wonderful assets in society. Homeschoolers grow into adults who vote, volunteer, and lead, all at astounding rates. Why? They’ve been disciplined, disciple, and not just educated.

One more point about homeschool success. No matter what curriculum you select or method you chose, we are assured success by the very nature that we are the ones training our children. We make the selections within our home and if done with love and caring, our kids will excel beyond our wildest dreams. Success is earned with small incremental steps, and we are preparing our kids for life. Philippians 1:6 assures us He’ll (God) finish what He starts in them. As parents, we want our kids to be ready for life—academically, socially, and spiritually. And that is what we are doing each and every day.

If you want excellence, flexibility, college/or vocational prep, social skills, and life readiness, all rooted in faith, then homeschooling is for you. It’s not just about keeping up or doing what everyone else expects; it’s about raising kingdom builders.

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Parenting In A Media-Saturated World Episode 298

sponsored by NOW Programs.

Parenting is tough but parenting in a media saturated world increases the difficulty level in spades! Parenting in a media-saturated world is definitely a love-hate relationship. I love my devices. It is easy to create a book using word processing and a computer. We can buy graphics online with a click of a button, and you can use apps to buy, read or listen to this podcast.

While I personally use the toys for convenience (think GPS) it doesn’t mean I like them and what they are doing to kids who are media saturated. In this podcast, I want to discuss some ways we can use media to our advantage without checking our humanity in at the door. Too strong? Maybe.

Parenting in a Media-Saturated World? Oh yes it is difficult!

Yes, we can use electronics and media in our homeschools but not to the detriment of books! Media today is small enough to carry in our pockets. My kids use it all the time to look up things, instantly. I refuse to use the automated voice on the phone to help me — and even when I told my children about a study that showed looking up information on your phone increases the chances that you will not remember the data because you don’t think it is necessary – it gives me pause – but not them. Their thinking is that you don’t need to know the information, you can just look it up!

Parenting with technology is a two-edged sword!

I found a study conducted in 2010 by the Japanese where they discussed some key elements of concern. The first was their country ranked number one in media usage when it comes to kids. They did a study on the child and parent relationship as well as how an overuse of media can effect the children physically as well as academically.

The conclusion to this paper was that media saturation caused kids to have underdeveloped muscles, such as leg muscles that were much weaker. This was reflected in the tendency to lose balance and fall. They also spoke about muscle strength in the torso, necessary for stamina. Poor eyesight and the underdeveloped stereo-vision was cited as something that is developed by playing outdoors. Underdeveloped autonomic nerves that regulate temperature and blood pressure as well as the five senses being at risk. Interestingly the study pointed out something that media overuse means less interaction with family and friends which results in immature communication skills.

Nothing we don’t already know! However another study went on to explain that brain abnormality was shown due to prolonged use – and truthfully this study was complex. The bottom line was pointing to an inability to control emotions, regulate desires, show empathy to others and anticipate needs.

I found another study that explained the time when media could do the most harm is during adolescence since this is a time of increased risk-taking.

I want to read you the following and you can find the adolescent study with a link on the VHM page- episode 298 – Parenting in a Media Saturated world. LINK HERE https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-018-03126-x

The current way to demonstrate this IS excessive or unlimited self-disclosure or sexting! We all wonder what the heck kids think when they do this type of thing!

We all want to be socially accepted but when the kids deal with social media the importance becomes increased.

This is a great infographic that depicts usage.

Another graphic is from Common Sense Media here.

Kurt Cameron – Media Discernment   

Kurt Cameron – Media Discernment – 2

So, what can a parent do? Especially those of us who are so dependent on our devices?

I think the answer is clear – and it takes strength in parenting as well as a willingness to follow through.

Do:

1. 1. Educate yourself about social media and media overload.
   2. Family Rules. Limit screen time. Set parameters. Do you have family rules? Ours are simple. Do what we say while you are living here!
   3. Computer use in common family areas only.
   4. Have your kids tell you the dangers and consequences of social media, watching inappropriate shows, etc. Rule: Would you feel comfortable having Jesus watch whatever it is with you?
   5. A family “fast” from electronics – lead by example.
   6. Encourage outdoor activities, sports or hobbies that require movement.
   7. Compromise – video games, ugg – but I had to compromise with two of my sons who love them.
   8. Encourage family interaction. Game-day, board games, etc.
   9. Use your internet settings. Did you know you have power parents? You can set your kids phones, their devices and your wifi to turn off. If you don’t know how to, then search online!
   10. Trust is earned. When my teens would push back with our rules I would ask them to prove me wrong. For example, if I didn’t need to moderate screen time how long did they think they was “fair.” When they mentioned a length of time that I felt was acceptable I agreed.

Don’t

1. Don’t tell the kids to limit their time and you use your phone/ computer all the time.
2. Don’t buy into the lies of brain building games. There is nothing like brain building with hands-on activities. Give your kids a bag of recyclables and watch the brain building begin!
3. Don’t use electronic devices are not babysitters. If your little kids use them, sit with them.
4. Don’t expect all your safety measures to work. Yes – we all need to use the internet for research, however, this needs to be monitored.

We each have to figure out what works for your family. I don’t think any of you listening uses media to babysit your kids. And, if you decide to go on a Kindle Spree like my daughter did, buying all of her children electronics with the thought of doing school or educational games and it backfires, be brave enough to parent. The kids no longer have access to these devices because they become discipline problems.

You have choices. There is a wonderful world outside to explore, there are books to read and there are things to create. Yes, sometimes we need to compromise. Sigh. But for me, it was when they were older teens – sixteen and up. I pray you to make the right choices and would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions!

More Research – PEW Research – Info here on digital use

Bottom line and this is what I find disturbing, the main issues center around what makes us human. Media overload lends itself to lower empathy and social well being. It also allows kids to say what is on their mind without care because in a sense they are anonymous. In a face-to-face discussion, their comments would be tempered.

The post Parenting In A Media Saturated World appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Can you truly have peaceful homeschooling when you are dealing with kids daily? I’m here to say, yes, it’s possible! In this episode, I’ll share the reality of homeschooling through the years.

Welcome to Vintage Homeschool Moms, the podcast where we believe homeschooling can be a blessing, not a battleground—no rainbows or perfectly run household promises, just real talk. I’m your host, Felice Gerwitz—yes, the mom who’s been there with coffee stains on my shirt and a prayer on my lips. Today, we’re diving into peaceful homeschooling because, parents, God didn’t call us to this to feel like we’re without a rudder in a storm. So, grab your coffee—or your Bible—and talk about five tips to bring some calm into your homeschool life. Spoiler alert: No bribing the kids with chocolate is required. Let’s get started!

Peaceful Homeschooling ~ Episode 553

Friends, I know that your life is hectic. After homeschooling for many years, I finally got into a rhythm, but each year, something always changed. I think part of the reason we have stressful days is because we have expectations we can’t keep. In this session, we are going to look at some of the mistakes I’ve made through the years, and hopefully, you’ll find something you can use in your homeschool.

Tip #1: Set a Rhythm, Not a Bootcamp Schedule. You’ve seen those Pinterest timetables—”8:00 AM: Memorize Latin verbs.” But here’s the truth: Kids aren’t robots, and neither are you. A rhythm is like a schedule with grace built in—it flows. Maybe mornings are for math and Bible reading, afternoons for crafts, or staring out the window praising God for His creation. Proverbs 16:9 says, “The human mind plans the way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Don’t turn your home into a drill sergeant’s dream. Maybe one day is pajamas day; that’s not a crisis—that’s a gift of flexibility. Less stress means more room for God’s peace.

Tip #2: Create a Calming Space—for Everyone. You need a spot where chaos takes a backseat. For the kids, maybe a beanbag with a Bible storybook and a ‘No Sibling Zone’ sign. For you? The kitchen table with a candle and a quick prayer—because locking the bathroom door isn’t always an option. Make these spaces holy ground. Tell the kids, ‘This is where we go to find quiet and hear God’s voice.” Bonus points for a cross on the wall—because nothing says peace like a reminder of Jesus’ love.

Tip #3: Embrace the Idea of Humor. Homeschooling isn’t about perfection—it’s about growing in faith, relationships, and knowledge, and that’s messy. When your 8-year-old spills paint on the dog, or your teenager writes an essay titled “Why Fractions Are a Test of Faith,” laugh it off. Say, “Okay, okay, let’s try that again!” Humor is a gift from God. If you can’t laugh, you’re missing the joy. Philippians 4:4 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always.” So, lean into the mess. The dog’s blue? Call it a testimony of creativity.”

Tip #4: Limit the Screen-Time Battles. Devices can be a blessing—think Bible apps, learning games, and YouTube. But they’re also tantrum traps when it’s time to unplug. Set clear boundaries upfront: We watch one episode of The Creation Series; then it’s math time. And be firm. Don’t negotiate. Kids will try your patience. If they’re begging for more video games, smile and remind them that it’s easier to listen and move on. When they grumble, just know they will survive—God’s grace covers that too. I remind them at another time that when they argue, they don’t win, so it is easier to be obedient, and everyone is happier.

Finally, Tip #5: Celebrate the Small Wins—With Snacks. Peace isn’t just avoiding fights; it’s rejoicing in progress. Did your kid finish a worksheet without tears? Have a mini praise party. Did you make it through a day without shouting, “Lord, give me strength!?” Break out the cookies. Colossians 3:17 says, “Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” Rewards keep us going. Homeschooling is hard—capital H Hard—but you’re not just teaching math; you’re raising disciples. That’s worth celebrating with a snack and a ‘Thank you, Jesus.’”

So, there you have it, friends: Five tips to make your homeschool less like a wrestling match and more like a sanctuary. Set a rhythm, carve out calm spaces, use humor and laugh, tame the screens, and celebrate with snacks. You’ve got this—because God’s got you, even on days when it feels like you’ve accomplished nothing. Thanks for tuning in and sharing this podcast with a friend, your co-op or homeschool group, or a Facebook group. Stay faithful, parents! Take care, and God bless!

The post Peaceful Homeschooling – 5 Tips for A Tranquil Home appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Confessions of a Homeschool Mom

Only my close friends knew what I am going to tell you today. In Confessions of a Homeschool Mom, I share the truth that most homeschoolers won’t tell others—often out of fear of judgment. But there is no judgment here!

Confessions of a Homeschool Mom ~ Episode 552

Welcome to Vintage Homeschool Moms! Today, our topic is Confessions of a Homeschool Mom. I’m Felice Gerwitz, and if you’re listening, chances are you’re a homeschool mom—or maybe you’re thinking about becoming one. Either way, you’re in the right place.

This is a space where we’re real about the highs, the lows, and everything in between. Today, I want to share some confessions from my own homeschool journey—because, let’s be honest, we’ve all got them—and sprinkle in some encouragement to keep you going.

So grab your coffee, your tea, or that cold cup you’ve been meaning to reheat for the last hour, and let’s dive in!

First, I’d like to thank my sponsor, Judson College.

Judson College offers biblical and practical training wherever a student is called, equipping them to live all of life for Christ.

Confession #1: I Didn’t Plan to Homeschool

I was a teacher and decided to stay home with my children once I had them. Little did I know that my child would fit the category of a “gray area” learner, meaning the school wasn’t equipped to teach him as well as I could. And let’s be clear—I didn’t sign up to be a superhero.

Seriously, when I started homeschooling, I had this vision of calm mornings, kids eagerly gathered around the table, and me dispensing wisdom like some kind of pioneer woman crossed with Mary Poppins. Spoiler alert: That’s not what happened. Some days went smoothly, but often, everything was a mess.

In fact, I tried to model a private school at home, and that was a disaster. Who knew that giving kids recess meant they wouldn’t want to come back inside and do more school?

Confession #2: Some Days, I Felt Like I Was Failing

The laundry piled up, the science experiment didn’t work, and when I looked up, I noticed one of those sticky gummy toys stuck to the ceiling fan. I’m pretty sure my kids learned more about Legos than actual science.

But then I’d catch my son reading a book he picked up on his own or my daughter explaining “greater than” and “less than” to her younger brother because she gets it now—and I realized: those little wins? They’re huge.

You’re not failing. You’re planting seeds, and they’re growing, even when you can’t see it yet.

Confession #3: I Didn’t Have It All Together (And That’s Okay)

Social media can trick us into thinking that every other homeschool mom has a color-coded schedule, a spotless house, and kids who recite Shakespeare while baking sourdough bread. Meanwhile, I’m over here Googling, “How to get gum out of hair.”

Here’s the truth: You don’t need a perfect system or a Pinterest-worthy schoolroom. If you’ve got determination, love, and a heart for your kids, that’s more than enough.

You’re building something beautiful—mess and all. Sure, organization is important, but what most moms don’t understand is that you are teaching more than you realize.

Why Are You Homeschooling?

Maybe you started homeschooling because you saw what was being taught in schools and were rightly appalled. Maybe you wanted flexibility, noticed your child wasn’t thriving in a traditional setting, or felt a tug in your soul that said, “I need to try this, even if just for a season.”

Whatever the reason, it still matters.

You’re not just teaching math and reading—you’re teaching your kids how to think and actually giving them time to think. You’re giving them the opportunity to chase their dreams. That’s powerful. That’s priceless.

I’ve seen it firsthand. My children are all thinkers. They don’t often make rash decisions, and homeschooling gave them the time to explore their interests.

Confession #4: I Worried About Academics (A Lot)

I constantly questioned whether I was doing enough. Were we on grade level? Were my kids learning what they should be learning?

After the first few years, I took a radical approach (for me) and began teaching through unit studies. I even wrote and published some of my own. Suddenly, my kids were excited about learning!

We went full force into studying topics instead of sticking to grade levels, and learning opened up in a whole new way.

For six weeks, we studied oceanography, then astronomy. Then it was Creation Science and Anatomy. Before I knew it, we had covered history, science, writing, reading, spelling, language arts, and so much more. The kids thrived.

At the end of the year, I was nervous about their evaluations. But the results confirmed what I already knew in my heart: my younger and middle school-aged children thrived with hands-on learning.

I wish I had continued this approach in high school, but for my college-bound kids, we switched to books that helped them with entrance exams. I still handpicked the books and didn’t use a set curriculum, opting for the best resources instead. (Check out CathyDuffyReviews.com for great recommendations!)

Confession #5: I Wouldn’t Trade My Years of Homeschooling for Anything

After homeschooling five children over thirty-two years, I never imagined I would make it past one year—let alone three decades!

Sure, it was hard. Sure, there were days I dreamed of going out to lunch with friends or using the bathroom without someone knocking on the door.

But the relationships I built with my children are everlasting.

I was the one who saw the awe on their faces during field trips. I was the one who got to watch them grow, learn, and become who they were meant to be. That’s a privilege I will never take for granted.

We did incredible things in our homeschool journey:

• Studied ancient civilizations and ate Greek food
• Traveled to Georgia to find rocks not found in Florida while studying geology
• Went on an archeological dig and fossil float
• Took private tours at a nature center on Sanibel Island
• Attended homeschool-only planetarium nights
• Had group ice-skating lessons with an Olympic judge

It turns out that Southwest Florida, where I live, attracts some of the most interesting people in the world. And many of them played a role in shaping my children’s education.

My Challenge to You: Give Yourself Grace

You’re juggling a million things—teacher, mom, chef, referee—and doing it with love.

Take a minute to look at your kids and recognize what you’ve already done. That book they read? That’s you. The way they’re kind to each other? That’s you. Their curiosity and creativity? That’s you, too.

You’re not just keeping the ship afloat—you’re steering it somewhere amazing.

Wherever you are right now—whether you’re in the middle of a lesson, scrubbing glitter off the table, or sneaking a quiet moment for yourself—know this:

You are enough.
You are doing something incredible.
And your kids are lucky to have you.

Keep going. You’ve got this.

That’s all for today from Vintage Homeschool Moms. Thanks for hanging out with me! I’d love to hear your confessions too. Drop me a message, share your story, and let’s keep lifting each other up.

Until next time, keep the coffee strong and the grace stronger.

See you soon!

The post Confessions of A Homeschool Mom appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

No one has time to discipline, but it is the most important thing you can do for peace within your family. One Minute Discipline will change your life.

One Minute Discipline ~ 551

*In last week’s podcast episode 550, I gave a thumbnail sketch of this method, and today I want to give you a more thorough step-by-step on the process of the one-minute discipline or scolding method. 

Long ago, I read a book that revolutionized my parenting. I was inconsistent in my approach. One time I was very strict, and the other, I was too lazy to get up to enforce my request. I would do what I called count-down discipline. You know, you make a demand and then say, “I’m going to count to ten, and you better do it by then!” Typically, my kids would wait until I was at the number nine and ready to get up before stopping whatever they were doing.

It was frustrating and annoying, and I often lost my temper.

Let’s face it: we all want kids who listen, and we don’t always have the time or the patience to follow through. I spoke to a friend of mine who was a long-time preschool teacher, and she asked me if I had read the book, “The One-Minute Scolding” by Gerald E. Nelson, MD. I had not, and she lent me a copy of her book.

Thanks to our sponsor, NowProgram! 

This small book, around 100 pages, is currently out of print, but it was the lifeline I needed. It talked about good discipline, why kids do what they do (their “ploy,” as the book puts it), and while love and the best of intentions are not enough for us to follow through. If you can get a copy of this book, I recommend it, especially if you struggle with keeping your anger under wraps and getting to the crux of the issue.

This book shaped my attitude toward parenting in that I realized that I needed to address the infraction without wounding my child. It was love the sinner and hate the sin mentality of Christianity in play. We often lash out in anger, which can be more damaging than an actual spanking. My consistent message for all parents is to forgive and move on. Our kids don’t necessarily want to make our lives miserable any more than we want to make them miserable—a common fallacy on both sides.

The idea of the book is to address the infraction, discipline (or scold) the child within a minute, and be done. Believe me, one minute is enough time to use this method.

Be sure to take the child to somewhere quiet and not around giggling or disruptive children. If your child is small or young, you can place them on your lap. They don’t have to look at you, and with some children, I required it and others I did not. (Know your kids.) With an older child, I would hold on to his arm or touch him in some way, no squeezing! Touch is an integral part of this method.

One Minute Discipline Explained.

In a nutshell, the scolding part is broken up into five segments.

1. Scolding the behavior
2. A moment of transition
3. Positive reaffirmation of the child’s worth
4. A quiz
5. A hug

Example: You discipline the child using controlled anger, limiting your discourse to what happened. No name-calling or other character assassination. You keep it to 30 seconds or less for younger children. You can stop when your child expresses sorrow or remorse.

30-Second Discipline:

Alex! I’m very angry that you hit your brother. We don’t hit in this house, and you have been told this before. It makes me really angry that you hurt your brother. I do not want you to do this again, and that is not the way you should act or behave. Even if you are angry, hitting is not the answer. It makes me angry, hurts him, and solves nothing. It just makes your actions really wrong…

You take a pause, a deep breath, and now change tactics. Basically, it is an abrupt departure from the anger you just exhibited. This may throw the child off guard, and it should, but your child should be attentive at this point. It is now time to be positive and encouraging and to let your child know that you love them and expect better behavior.

20-Second Affirmation

I love you so much, Alex, and I want what is best for you. I know you can be a good boy. I want to be a good mother, so every time you do the wrong thing, I will scold you so that you do not forget and you learn not to hit. I’ll keep reminding you until you learn to be a good brother. You must understand that you should be kind to your brother. If you have any problems, you can always come to me for help.

10-Second Quiz

The quiz section:

Why am I upset (or scolding) you?

Answer: “Because I hit my brother.”

“Excellent! That is correct. And why will you get in trouble each time you make a bad mistake?”

“Because I am not supposed to hit my brother.”

“Wonderful! And because I love you very much and know you can do better. What are you supposed todo when you feel angry with your brother?”

“Come to you for help if I need it.”

That’s right.

At this point, you hug your child and allow them to hug you back. It ends here.

The book doesn’t suggest this, but in our home, I highly encouraged our children to make up; the child who hit needed to ask the other child for forgiveness. (I’m sorry wasn’t enough.) This was something we taught our child that if someone was hurt or maligned in some way, the offending child needed to ask for forgiveness.

The Lord’s prayer taught us to “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

I didn’t want my children to hold grudges or be upset with each other long-term. What seemed to happen is that certain children would fight because of unforgiveness, and it often escalated.

Why The One Minute (Scolding) Discipline Works

For one thing, you allow your children to feel loved and affirmed even if you are pointing out the infraction and dealing with it. The process takes longer for some children, but your child will have a sense that you care and are not sending them away or detaching from them if they are angry. Things like “time out” or going to your room only encourage the child to be isolated. The child isn’t made to realize that the issue is not one-sided or everyone else fault. (Recount personal childhood story.)

Secondly, it works because you are consistent and repetitive. You have an action plan. You know what to do, and your child knows what to expect. It takes longer for some children than for others. Yet, if you are consistent, this method works even with teens.

Third, it is short. You are not ranting for hours or angry for days. The issue is dealt with, the situation is handled, and the child knows that if there is a next time, it will be more of the same.

Fourth: You are dealing with the issue of today. You are not rehashing…”You always, or last week you did…” Just focus on the now.

Fifth: The child will know that he can trust you and, above all, he is loved and appreciated and that you want the best for them. In this way, they are encouraged that you are there to help them stay on the right path. Best of all, it often takes just a look when the child gets angry, and they know that hitting (etc.) is unacceptable.

What I like best is that it is immediate and it is over. Yes, some children had to be scolded more than one time each day, but they really disliked the first 30 seconds so rarely was the same child disciplined twice in one day.

I didn’t have to use this method long with some children. One of my children, after being spanked (before this method), stated, “That really hurt! I am not doing that again!” This same child quickly learned he disliked the scolding part, and a quick look or stern shake of my head was all that was needed.

Try it, and let me know what you think! I’m excited to share this method with you and pray it is helpful.

The post One Minute Discipline appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

There are many different parenting philosophies, but what about parenting that works? One of the largest categories in the online bookstore space is how to parent. In this podcast, we discuss how you can figure out what works.

Parenting That Works ~ Episode 550

If you can parent well, your family will enjoy peace and a wonderful life. How do you parent, and does it work? If so, please share your tips with me. My parenting has been up and down. Some things work well, and others do not. Good parenting requires stability in your marriage. That is a good place to start; work with your spouse and ensure you are on the same page.

Years ago, I read a book on parenting that had only about 25 pages. It talked about focusing on the child in a way that resonated with me. I will share this simple technique with you later, but it needs a strong foundation for this approach to work.

Parenting requires a balanced approach, but one of the most important things is ensuring your children know you love them. After disciplining your child, ask, “Do you think I love you?” You might be surprised at what they say. I was shocked when one of my children said, “No!” and began to cry. My child is the norm. Many children think discipline equals being mean. It’s not if it is done with love. If you parent out of anger and lose control, that is a separate thing altogether. Parenting is keeping peace in the home.

How do you parent currently?

1. How will you discipline? Time out? Corporal?
2. Do you parent in anger?
3. Do you model good behavior or one that you expect?
4. Do you encourage communication?

My list of dos and don’ts would be the following: Never parent in anger – take a time out yourself. I’ve had to do this more times than most, and I attribute it to my Italian heritage, but it is no excuse. Do model the behavior you expect. And encourage open communication. My daughter, God bless her, and she listens to every complaint. She is a saint, and I was not that type of parent. If you are blessings to you as well. The last is a pet peeve: No character assassination. You are stupid, or an idiot, or worse, is not allowed by anyone at any time. Stupid was a bad word when I was growing up, and I continued the trend in my home.

Why do you discipline your children? Think about this.

1. To encourage good behavior.
2. To correct misbehavior.
3. To keep your child from harming others.
4. To teach self-control.
5. To encourage open communication.

Contrary to what your child might believe, good discipline makes children happier. Your entire family will greatly benefit if your children understand what is required. I’ve shared this story before, but it bears sharing again. Why were my little children model angels when we went shopping? (Story shared online.)

Synopsis:

1. I explained the situation.
2. I gave them an option of where to place their hands.
3. I permitted them to touch items only if they asked first.
4. I explained the consequences.
5. I asked them to tell me what was expected.

Did I have to do this every time? Depending on their age, we skipped to #5 as they were older. Remember the child’s age; this matters in what we expect them to do. If a child is too little, they are held or put in the stroller and must stay put. If they can not listen, they lose the privilege of going to the store.

The primary reason that children do not listen to one parent or the other is because you are not on the same page. As my husband says, I have many words, and those words often are to make my children understand the why behind what I expect. My husband used fewer words and made a bigger impact on our kids. However, he was way more permissive than I was with the kids. One reason is that I was homeschooling the children with them 24/7, and he saw them after work. And on weekends. He missed the kids and, therefore, had more leniency. We had a date night (often) to get back on the same page with our discipline requirements, or we were contradicting each other. Kids use this to their advantage, and that is one thing that we nipped in the bud.

Parenting works if you tell your children you love them and are consistent. If I had to pick one thing, it would be consistency. Kids are gamblers, as my husband puts it, and they will take a chance that you won’t follow through that one time. When your kids are older, pick your battles. Is blue hair okay for some time, or is it okay to dress like you are homeless? My kids were all athletes, and their dress was pretty consistent over the years, but dressing up for the boys consisted of nice jeans or khaki pants. Think about what is important to you before it happens. Every infraction can not be a hill to die upon when they are teens. Communication matters the most as they get older.

As a parent, do you encourage or praise your children? Do you expect self-control? Do you allow your child to bite or hit? Again, each parent is different, but allowing misbehavior at home only becomes amplified when you socialize with other children.

Play-acting is one way to teach good behavior before an event happens. My Character planners have an excellent section on acting (or writing) out answers to scenarios that can happen and prepare for them. For example, your child is at a friend’s house watching an inappropriate movie. What does your child do? (Character Planners here  and here)

Simplified Parenting That Works

As promised, I’ll share with you the three stages of parenting that work in its simplified version based on the book I read many years ago. (Explained in detail on air.)

1. Take your child somewhere private. (Take a big sigh–this signifies you are about to begin)
2. Maintain eye contact.
3. Explain your love. “I love you and want what is best for you…”
4. Address the issue only with the preface. “I am very disappointed to see that…”
5. Explain what you witnessed (…your brother was punched and then tripped. I am upset that your brother is hurt, and I am disappointed.
6. As you discuss the infraction with the child, maintain eye contact and watch your child’s face. Is your child still stoic and self-righteous?
7. Try to continue the “I feel” instead of YOU DID.
8. “I love you, and I know you can do better than that. I know you can use your self-control instead of hitting or punching or tripping. Getting upset is normal, but hurting other people is not allowed.”
9. Are you ready to ask forgiveness from your brother and the entire family?
10. Hug the child and give forgiveness.

If this makes sense, use this or parts of this method, or make it your own.

Friends, in the end, we want healthy and happy children who grow up to love and serve the Lord and, in many cases, grow up to be wonderful adults. Our involvement is time with our children, and that can never be taken away from us, and it is one of our biggest accomplishments. Do you have a discipline technique that works? Share it with us on the show notes on the website at VintageHomeschoolMoms.com episode 550.

Thanks again to our sponsor!

We offer online instruction for students — Research & Development of Programs in:

NOW! Foundations for Speech, Language, Reading and Spelling®

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The post Parenting That Works appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Let’s face it: we all have marriage arguments from time to time. Yet, there is a correct way to argue. Can you both be winners? Yes! Let’s win at marriage and make it a blessed place for you, your spouse, and your children.

Marriage Arguments You Can Win ~ Episode 549

Why do we argue? We may disagree for many different reasons. And, sadly, we hurt the ones we love the most. Why is this? Because we care. We wouldn’t be so hurt if we didn’t care for each other. Think about this.

Often, marriage arguments can be prevented. And the worst ones are those that are in front of the kids. Be mindful of your children and set a good example when discussing differences with your spouse. The kids do not need to hear yelling and slandering; it makes an impression on them.

When we argue, we often try to prove a point: I’m right, and you are wrong. Ultimately, one of us will be unhappy. And when we are not right, it makes it even harder!

When I was a new bride, I read something that said you should never go to bed angry, and I loved the idea! So, my poor husband would have to say, up to all hours of the night, “discussing” our issue (and he is very stubborn). I kept saying, “I want to discuss this so we are on the same page and it never happens again!” And we got nowhere. Finally, exhausted, he’d say, “Okay, you are right. Can I go to bed now?”

I realized something had to change, and fast.

Thanks to our episode sponsor, NowPrograms.com, visit the website for more information about a unique reading method. Don’t accommodate, remediate!

Detrimental Marriage Arguments

When we think about winning an argument in the context of marriage, it can quickly become misunderstood, and by the true-life example I gave you, detrimental to a relationship in the long run. Our focus should not be on winning but more on understanding each other’s positions and putting ourselves in our spouse’s shoes.

We must acknowledge their feelings when we understand that the person we love is hurting. It demonstrates that you understand and care and will help de-escalate the situation.

Saying the following:

1. I understand you are upset.
2. Can we discuss this calmly, if not now when you are ready?
3. I love you, and I’d like to discuss this situation calmly.

Acknowledging each other’s feelings is the first step, and it can de-escalate the situation, but being calm is equally important. As we become upset, our voices rise, and soon we can yell at each other. Taking a deep breath can stall the outburst, or even saying, “I need a minute.” to compose can be helpful. Screaming at each other never works.

When we discuss the situation, look at each other and be mindful of your body position. Look into each other’s eyes; don’t have your body angled away or arms crossed. This leads to a signal that you are not open to discussion.

Marriage Argument Don’ts

1. No profanity
2. No character assasination
3. No accusations, keep it to “I feel.”

What Works:

Listen to each other; you can offer to go first or let your spouse do it. Allow the person to talk without interrupting. Yes, this can be hard, but try to listen. Find common ground if at all possible. When it is your turn to talk, express your feelings without attacking or belittling the other person. No character assasination. Taboo words are dumb, stupid, or using profanity. It does not help.

Use the “I” position. I feel, or I think. Don’t blame – “you always” or “you don’t care,” etc. Again, keep it as a personal expression. You know what you think about your feelings and can only guess what your spouse is feeling or his motivation.

Give each other space if needed, but don’t use this as a delay tactic to keep from discussing the difficult things. It is better to say, “Can we talk in about an hour?” (Or less), rather than say things you will regret. It is okay to say, “I love you, but I need a few minutes to regroup.”

Work on resolutions together. It may not be perfect initially, but you both must give it a little. Sometimes, the solution will surprise you. In fact, winning an argument is when you can come to a peaceful solution to strengthen your relationship. It is vital to resolve the issue more so than to say you are right. (Even if you are!)

The enemy does not like marriages, especially good ones, and seeks to disrupt them whenever possible. Look at how you get along and do kind things for each other whenever possible to build that bond and relationship.

You May Enjoy

Healthy Marriage Tips

Three Marriage Secrets

and What Homeschooling Does To Your Marriage

You can both win the arguments within marriage when the result is a happy and harmonious life. One where you look forward to seeing your husband each day, and your husband is excited to see you, and where you look forward to growing old together. That was something my husband and I said to each other in the early years of marriage, and it always made me feel special and cherished.

Remember, the key to winning is to get along for the sake of your marriage and your children.

The post Marriage Arguments You Can Win appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Caring for your marriage is essential; a healthy marriage takes work from two spouses. Is there a right or wrong way to approach marriage? Felice Gerwitz shares some of her favorite tips for strengthening marriage in this podcast.

Healthy Marriage Tips ~ Episode 548

Before I start, I want to remind you that some of these points may resonate with you, but others will not! Use what works for you and your spouse! Each couple and relationship is unique.  Forty-five years of marriage later, and I’m still learning.

If you were talking to a newly engaged couple, what marriage advice would you give them? Think about this, or as a fun activity, do this with your spouse!

My husband and I sat down to brainstorm the main aspects of marriage that few talk about, or if they do, they gloss over the facts. This list was not very long, but one word is essential: relationship.

What is your relationship with God, your relationship (i.e., “love”) with each other, and what do you enjoy doing together? Do you spend time alone building up your marriage? I know it is hard, especially with children, but some things you can do, and others you can find workarounds. The main concept here is relationship.

Relationships are Important to a Healthy Marriage

Your relationship with God will set the stage for leading a good moral life. It allows you to follow the tenets of the Christian faith: kindness, love, and compassion. For a marriage to thrive, it should be selfless. I do something for my husband, not necessarily because I choose to do it, but because I want to do something kind. I want to love as Christ loves me. Yes, it is always a work in progress. A conscious decision and a choice.

Your relationship should be enjoyable. Do you like to spend time together doing different things? My husband tends to enjoy watching television. I’d be happy not to own a television. So, how do we compromise?

I want to spend time with him so sometimes I read or do some type of graphics on the computer. I love art, and this is my way to express my creativity. I typically do something that doesn’t take lots of brainpower so that I am available to chat about different things: my husband is also okay with pausing the television to hear something I want to share or read to him. It works. Sometimes we watch movies, most of the time on the weekend, but otherwise, our time spent talking is over meals.

A healthy marriage is understanding some key concepts:

1. Marriage is not 50/50 it is 100/100
2. Forgiveness goes a long way in healing hurts.
3. Manipulation only goes so far and should stop.
4. Listening is key to a long and happy marriage. (Knowing when to talk and when to hold your tongue is gold!)
5. Character assassination is forbidden!

Thanks to our episode sponsor, NowPrograms.com, visit the website for more information about a unique reading method. Don’t accommodate, remediate!

My husband and I didn’t always prioritize our marriage, and in our 30s, we were growing apart. I focused on homeschooling, taking the kids to lessons, sports, and household management. My husband focused on growing his business, and spent time with the kids and me. In my late 30s, I started a publishing company while pregnant with my third child. When visiting the pediatrician, he asked me if my husband and I would spend time together going to dinner. Truthfully, I was annoyed with him and smiled non-committedly. How was this his business?

Later that evening, I shared what the doctor said to my husband, and he was all for going out and spending time alone together. This simple thing rekindled our relationship. We did have some rules, such as no cell phones and talking about the kids being out! We talked about our businesses, our hopes and dreams, and some of our goals. I loved hearing his insights and advice for my business. This wasn’t always reciprocated, but I felt we had a handle on what we wanted and where we headed.

We made an effort to parent together, which also cut down on some of our arguments over different parenting styles. We didn’t need to contradict each other. He was way more lenient than I was and needed his backing and support. On the other hand, he was gone all day and missed the kids.

So we worked out a plan for when he came home. (Shared on air.) he could first say hi to me, we’d sit a few minutes and chat. I might have had a small snack for him, but it was just us. Then he’d take the kids outdoors or in another room and spend time with them until dinner. The kids were prepped and knew this was happening ahead of time. Even with a young baby, I did this, and it worked wonders in just having that few minutes to reconnect.

Communication is important, as well as common courtesy. Being nice to each other, showing you care, and appreciating each other and your contribution to the marriage is important. The little things are so important. I was thankful when he would grill or take the kids out for a few minutes so I could have a break.

We did not always support each other’s endeavors but worked toward a common goal. I was ready to grow my husband’s construction business while he wanted to keep it small. So, I expressed my desire to grow a business by launching my own. My husband wanted to keep it small, but it grew so quickly that he came on board! His only request was to minimize travel to conferences, so I started an online platform before that was a thing! (We co-own this homeschool podcast network and our sister network here that has an international reach. So much for keeping it small!)

You may be married to a headstrong spouse, and I’m the one in our family, and we can be a handful at times, but once again good communication and a deep caring and friendship really helps. My husband and I are good friends; he is the first one I want to tell things to and the one who understands me the best. Recently through a mini-crisis he was very supportive and brought out good points that I didn’t remember.

A good marriage is a spouse who is there for you when you need it, and that doesn’t mean being on call 24/7, but it does mean making time for listening and support. Sometimes, I’m up, and he is down, and sometimes, it is in reverse. Having a person to lean on makes all the difference!

I pray this information was helpful and that you can use what you think applies to your relationship. We pray for all of you who listen to this podcast and others on the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network. Thanks for stopping by!

The post Healthy Marriage Tips appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

How many of you struggle in your marriage? I am here to share three marriage secrets. What are they? My husband and I have been married for forty-five years as of this recording, and we’ve practiced them and others. In this podcast, I will discuss marriage secrets from real-life events.

Three Marriage Secrets ~ Episode 547

My husband and I have spent hundreds of hours mentoring young, engaged couples at our church for the past four years. We were asked to do this and have struggled to find other couples (until recently) to join our ministry. Why is this? Because many of us struggle with our marriages. Yes, even us. No marriage or life is perfect on this side of heaven, but we can try. We prioritize our marriage and our relationship. Sometimes, it becomes a heroic effort, and that, dear friends, is the issue. Many couples who grow apart have stopped trying.

Are there only three marriage secrets? Of course not; there are probably 435 secrets, depending on who you ask! However, these are the top three my husband and I strive for in our relationship.

True story: my husband and I have struggled from time to time. Ninety percent of our struggles are when each of us insists we are right. Yes, even after forty-five years of marriage, it happens. In fact, I bought us matching coffee mugs for our last anniversary that say, “45 years of being Mr. Wright” and “45 years of being Mrs. Always Right.” Those are our Sunday mugs.

Yes, it is a joke, but it also reminds us that when we focus on being right, we have our eyes on the wrong goal or objective. Our goal is not to catch the other one messing up. It is to lift up the other spouse whenever we can. Women, are we thankful for each day? Men, do you appreciate the efforts your wife makes in your home life?

The great news is that we rarely, if ever, argue about big things any longer. We’ve realized that many of our disagreements were petty. We’ve gotten very good at conflict resolution, but that doesn’t mean life is always perfect. There are three main secrets to a long marriage.

—>Thanks to our sponsor, NowPrograms.com – their philosophy is to remediate instead of accommodate. Something I’ve been saying for years!

A young couple we mentored from our church asked us how we had managed to stay together for so many years while they saw many marriages falling apart. How would you answer this couple? As an aside, that is the most asked question from our pre-marriage couples.

We could have given them the list:

1. Be sure you pray. Pray together.
2. Good communication.
3. No character assasination.
4. Always argue in private, not around other people.
5. Work on conflict resolution.
6. Look for the good in each other.
7. Use kind words and words of affirmation
8. Make time to date each other even after marriage.
9. Spend time together doing a mutual hobby.
10. Discuss ways to parent and discipline before marriage.

Each of these topics could take an entire podcast in itself, and while I’d love to explore the different points, our three marriage secrets combine some of the points above and exclude others. All of those points are important, but our big three are as follows.

Three Marriage Secrets That Work:

Number 1: First, Give Your Heart To The Lord.

When we give our hearts to the Lord, it means that we are dedicated to a higher authority than our own. We are accountable to God and all that He teaches. It means we seek the good and righteous over the selfishish and petty. As a young woman in my first job, still single, I prayed to the Lord first that I would love Him with all my heart and then that He would bring me the person He selected for me. (I did a podcast some time ago about the True Love Prayer that a friend from college gave me, and I will do another one soon with the full prayer read on air. Yes, I still have a copy.) That prayer impacted my life in a powerful way; it made me focus on the most important thing: my relationship with the Almighty. (Visit A Few Minutes with God Podcast) I learned to love as Christ loves. (Podcast here.)

Number 2: Divorce Is Not An Option.

This is the answer I gave to the young couple, and my husband explained it more fully. “Divorce is not an option. What does that mean?”

First, we blew their minds. But, think about it: if you go into marriage with the idea of a temporary situation and a “Let’s see how it goes” approach, that is what you will pour into your relationship, and not in a good way. Many marriages, unfortunately, start in this way.

What if we take divorce off the table? It then makes marriage permanent. No one wants a life sentence of strife, disagreement, and unhappiness. So that means you both work hard to make it work; you don’t jump ship when the going gets tough. You work through the ups and downs, the sleepless nights with kids, the career changes, and, in essence, the good times and the bad times because the bad times will come.

[Please Note: I’m not talking about staying in abusive marriages where there is physical or mental abuse. Those situations are tragic and, at times, go undetected until marriage. However, sometimes there are red flags that are ignored. This is a podcast for another time.

If divorce is not an option, then marriage is a commitment daily. This is a decision, sometimes not a feeling, but it works! We choose each other. If you feel like your marriage is struggling, think about why you went into your marriage in the first place. There has to be a reason, and often, with some thought, you will remember the reasons and how difficult it was to find “the one.” My husband encourages each of the couples to pray and think about this.

Along those lines, we need to pray to forgive each other. If you have a strong foundation of faith, it is easier to do. I have several podcasts on Forgiveness HERE and Asking for Forgiveness HERE. ADD LINKS.

Number 3: Outgive Each Other.

When we do things for each other because we love each other, we should not keep track on a scorecard. Couples that do keep track have difficulty. I know that no one wants to feel unappreciated, but when we wait to be thanked for being a good wife or a good husband, we miss the point of marriage. We give because we love each other; we have different jobs within the home, sometimes overlapping. These jobs are agreed upon at some point in our marriage, and then we work together.

These jobs can change. My husband never changed diapers with our first two kids, but he did with children three through five. He never washed dishes until the kids were grown and out of the house. He took out the trash, mowed the lawn, and kept the outside looking nice. He painted walls inside and out, made repairs, and did the heavy lifting. I baked, cleaned, and took care of the laundry and cooking. He did grill, but even that happened many years into our marriage because my kids were raised to help, and truthfully, they were very capable.

For those of you who want to be thanked, think of this. We don’t thank the trash pickup for taking our trash off our property, the mail carrier for delivering our mail, or the grocer for stocking their shelves with food. We expect these things to happen; why? Because it is their job. At the same time, it is our job to work together and to give each other our best. Of course, I’m talking about balance and not a spouse on either side who becomes demanding.

So how do you outgive? You think about ways to surprise your spouse with something special for dinner or go out for ice cream without the kids. My husband brings me flowers from the grocery or hardware store. He takes out the trash and I usually tell him that makes me happier than the flowers!

It is the little things. The surprises, the sticky notes on the mirror or in his wallet that say, “I hope you have a wonderful day. I’m praying for you!” Or when I was cleaning up and found the first card he gave me soon after our first date. It was a Valentine’s Card with a huge bouquet of helium balloons wh purchased at a parade from a street vendor on the way to pick me up! The card said, “From Jeff,” but it was the cutest thing ever. I still tease him about writing “from.”

I’ve given this advice to struggling couples: it takes humility to take the first step. Will you humble yourself with the chance of rejection if it means improving your marriage? I would.

At times, we’ve each thought our relationship is one-sided, but if you have faith, you know the evil one works overtime in disrupting marriage. God ordains marriage; it is written about in the scriptures. The evil ones may cause you to become dissatisfied, and whatever weakness you have in your marriage or in your confidence will be exploited. Remember, the three marriage secrets include the most important one, your relationship with the Lord. That will give you the strength and the confidence to make your marriage the best it can be.

Well, friends, what do you think about the three marriage secrets? Do they resonate with you? Do you disagree? Do you have a big problem in your marriage that you are struggling with? I will pray for you but know that you are loved and prayed for. We often pray for those who listen to our podcasts, and I pray this podcast was a blessing.

Please share this episode with a friend, give me a star rating, and follow me on your favorite social media app!

Other podcasts you might enjoy:

What is God’s Love?

1. One Wise Choice That Can Change Relationships here

2. True Love and How to Find It

3. What Is God’s Love with Felice and Meredith

The post Three Marriage Secrets appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.

Let’s Talk About Marriage—Best Marriage Tips!  

with your host Felice Gerwitz

[Thanks to our sponsor NOWPrograms. Their philosophy is don’t accomodate, remediate. And it really works.]

After 40+ years of marriage, I have some of the best marriage tips ever and these really work.

You are probably thinking… oh great! Another know-it-all podcaster trying to tell you how to make your marriage work! Well, I have 35 years under my belt–I’m no expert, but I’m a hard-headed, first-generation Italian, New Yorker, married to a German-Irish-American! It has taken years of give-and-take to make our marriage great. And, I wanted to ask some others who have been married for years to chime in with their tips! This podcast contains advice from:

Carol Topp: Dollars & Sense Radio ; Hal & Melanie Young: Making Biblical Family Life Practical; Meredith Curtis: Finish Well Radio ; Andy & Kendra Fletcher: HomeschoolingIRL 

Show Notes:

Scriptures to Study in Regard to Marriage:

• Genesis 2:22-24
• Proverbs: Some I love!! Proverbs: 5:18-19 ; 20:6-7; 30:18-19; 31:10
• Matthew: 19:4-6
• 1-Corinthians: 7:1-6
• Mark: 10:6-9
• Ephesians: 5:22-33
• Links: 

Test – Learn Your Love Language

Recommended Books:
The Bible!

Look for Books on “Love Language” at the library or your favorite book store.

Advice and Tips:

Jeff Gerwitz: Keep Communication and Smooch Them Often!

Felice Gerwitz: Don’t go to bed angry: A. You both agree to solve your issues before bed — B. Understand the resolution will be a compromise for Both of You! and If you love giving gifts – A. Don’t expect anything in return and B. Accept gifts graciously

Carol Topp: One key to marriage success is to set aside time each day to catch up, even if it’s just 10 minutes. A co-worker gave me this advice over 20 years ago and he was right! My show http://dollarsandsenseshow.com. BTW my husband and I had our 30th Anniversary this year.

Hal Young: When God created marriage, the very first reason the Bible gives is companionship – “It is not good that the man should be alone,” God said (Genesis 2:18). We should make it our goal to make our mate our best friend as well as our spouse. That takes time and commitment, but don’t we know how to keep up a friendship? Why not use the same relationship skills in our marriage? Their show, Making Biblical Family Life Practical and you can find it on this network  – here is an easy way to find them –(HalAndMelanie.com/radio/) and they wrote a wonderful book on marriage “My Beloved and My Friend: How To Be Married to Your Best Friend Without Changing Spouses.” (www.mybelovedandmyfriend.com).

Meredith Ludwig Curtis: Another Mom with a large family, who has a show on this network specifically for teens and that is Finish Well Radio – FinishWellRadio.com – she is married to a Pastor and says, “A key to marriage success: Put Jesus first! Serve Him together! Love Him together! Raise godly children together! Change the world together!”

Andy Fletcher: We were given two pieces of advice. The first was very simple: Out serve one another. If you make it your goal to out serve your spouse, you will be in the right mindset. The second piece of advice was just silly: … you’ll have to listen to their podcast to find out! Catch their show on homeschooling and marriage,  What Homeschooling Does to Marriage

The post Best Marriage Tips appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.