When Delores moved to New York City from Jamaica nearly thirty years ago she didn’t know anyone. But soon she found a community of other nannies and learned how to navigate job interviews and “fussy” parents who don’t like nannies to tell their children no. 

In this week’s episode on paid caretaking, we explore the class and power dynamics inherent in care work. Plus, we hear from Faye*, a woman living with debilitating multiple sclerosis, and her husband Murray*, about how hiring outside help for caregiving shifts became essential to supporting their marriage.

Are you taking care of a loved one with MS? Murray suggests starting here for resources. 

*Names have been changed. 

Read Koa Beck’s essay about becoming a foster parent: “Nanny of the State.”

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

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Whether it's a nanny taking us to school or a home health aide helping us age in place, most of us will rely on paid caregivers at some point in our lives. For the next two episodes, we'll talk to professional caregivers about the emotional and economic reality of the intimate work they do.

In episode one, we hear from two eldercare workers: Rahn*, whose relationships with patients have helped heal emotional wounds from his childhood, and Tita Rose, a Filipina immigrant who uncovered exploitation at a nursing home. Plus Goldi, a nanny, recounts how she handled a father’s inappropriate advances and how that experience changed her approach to working for parents.

*We used first names or pseudonyms in this story. 

Will you be in the Bay Area on January 31st? Anna is hosting Sketchfest, a comedy show at Club Fugazi at 7pm. Get tickets and more info here. 

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

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For our last episode of 2024, we’re sharing a handful of stories about what love actually looks like, with all its flaws and complexities. The late poet Nikki Giovanni kicks things off by discussing the complicated love she had for her parents. We also hear from actor Mahershala Ali and comedian Chris Gethard and their romantic partners, and Jane Fonda discusses heartbreak and her choice to end a marriage. 

Here’s a full list of guests featured in this episode and links to the original DSM episodes that they appeared in: 

• Nikki Giovanni 
• Chris Gethard and Hallie Bulleit 
• Mahershala Ali and Amatus-Sami Karim 
• Laurie and Krista   
• Nikki and Darrell 
• Jane Fonda

Podcast production by Andrew Dunn and Cameron Drews.

To support Death, Sex & Money, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

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Todd is looking for love, but he’s unsure about disclosing something in dating profiles: his multiple sclerosis. On Slate’s How To podcast, Todd got some crucial advice from Jessica Slice and Caroline Cupp, authors of Dateable: Swiping Right, Hooking Up, and Settling Down While Chronically Ill and Disabled. 

This week, we’re sharing that wonderful episode with Death, Sex & Money listeners, and to kick things off, Anna talks to Carvell Wallace (the host of How To) about what makes this episode special. Listeners may remember Carvell from his appearance on DSM earlier this year. 

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Reach out to the How To podcast at [email protected] or leave them a voicemail at 646-495-4001. 

How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is their senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae.

Anna and Carvell’s conversation was produced by Cameron Drews. The rest of the DSM team includes Andrew Dunn, Zoe Azulay, and Daisy Rosario. 

Here’s the estate planning checklist that Carvell mentions in the episode and the full episode of How To about estate planning. And here’s the episode featuring Carvell’s son – it’s delightful.

To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

Ad Disclosure in Podcast Description: A Bond Account is a self-directed brokerage account with Public Investing, member FINRA/SIPC. Deposits into this account are used to purchase 10 investment-grade and high-yield bonds. As of 9/26/24, the average, annualized yield to worst (YTW) across the Bond Account is greater than 6%. A bond’s yield is a function of its market price, which can fluctuate; therefore, a bond’s YTW is not “locked in” until the bond is purchased, and your yield at time of purchase may be different from the yield shown here. The “locked in” YTW is not guaranteed; you may receive less than the YTW of the bonds in the Bond Account if you sell any of the bonds before maturity or if the issuer defaults on the bond. Public Investing charges a markup on each bond trade. See our Fee Schedule. Bond Accounts are not recommendations of individual bonds or default allocations. The bonds in the Bond Account have not been selected based on your needs or risk profile. See https://public.com/disclosures/bond-account to learn more.

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Ten years ago, Chaz Ebert talked to us about grief and loss as she was mourning the 2013 death of her husband, movie critic Roger Ebert. Her deep sense of connection to Roger continued after he was gone, including, she described, hearing his voice and feeling like they were still in conversation. When Chaz talked about this a decade ago, though, she was skittish about sharing too much about their ongoing communication, nervous that it would sound too out there. 

No longer. 

When we talked just a few weeks ago, Chaz described a lifetime of intuitive sensing, a skill she inherited from her mother. While her conversations with Roger have stopped, her intuition still powers much of what she does, including writing her new book, which she describes as “a download from the universe.” It’s called It’s Time to Give a FECK: Elevating Humanity through Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion and Kindness.

This week, we listen back to our original conversation with Chaz and hear what has shifted in the ten years since. 

Podcast production by Andrew Dunn. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

Come out for a LIVE Death, Sex & Money show at SF Sketchfest, San Francisco’s comedy and improv festival, on January 31. Get your tickets here. 

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On election night, while many voters across the country were focused on who would win the presidency, a growing number of Americans were watching the returns with another question in mind: will I win or lose money? That’s because, just weeks before November 5th, a judge ruled that for the first time in almost a century Americans could bet large amounts of money on the outcome of political races. 

In this episode, we talk to two people who made big bets: Mike, a Latino Democrat who bet $10,000 on Kamala Harris winning, and Jordan, a white conservative Trump supporter who risked $60,000 on Trump's victory. And Slate’s business and tech reporter Nitish Pahwa helps Anna understand the changing legal context for gambling in America. 

Read Slate’s Nitish Pahwa's post on prediction markets and politics here.

Plus, we have new totebags for sale! Check them out. 

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

Ad Disclosure in Podcast Description: A Bond Account is a self-directed brokerage account with Public Investing, member FINRA/SIPC. Deposits into this account are used to purchase 10 investment-grade and high-yield bonds. As of 9/26/24, the average, annualized yield to worst (YTW) across the Bond Account is greater than 6%. A bond’s yield is a function of its market price, which can fluctuate; therefore, a bond’s YTW is not “locked in” until the bond is purchased, and your yield at time of purchase may be different from the yield shown here. The “locked in” YTW is not guaranteed; you may receive less than the YTW of the bonds in the Bond Account if you sell any of the bonds before maturity or if the issuer defaults on the bond. Public Investing charges a markup on each bond trade. See our Fee Schedule. Bond Accounts are not recommendations of individual bonds or default allocations. The bonds in the Bond Account have not been selected based on your needs or risk profile. See https://public.com/disclosures/bond-account to learn more.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When actor and performer Jeff Hiller first tried improv comedy, he was instantly amazing at it. Jeff is an excellent listener. He’s also accommodating, flexible, and undeniably hilarious. This week on the show, Jeff discusses his role on the critically acclaimed HBO series Somebody, Somewhere and the personal quirks and qualities that have made him such a funny and talented performer. 

Mentioned in the episode:

-Jeff’s conversation with his husband Neil on the podcast She’s a Talker. 

-Anna’s interview with Mark Duplass. 

-Death, Sex & Money will be at San Francisco’s Sketchfest on January 31st. Get tickets and info here! 

Podcast production by Cameron Drews. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When is it time to go no contact? In this episode, we talk to four listeners who have recently become estranged from loved ones.

This episode was originally aired in 2022, and is part of a three-part series on estrangement. You can listen to the other episodes here: 

Estrangement Purgatory - Our episode about the contemplation stages of estrangement with a listener named Brian who is considering leaving his religious community.

Estrangement’s Alternate Endings - What does long term estrangement look like? And one listener’s choice to get back in touch. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

Ad Disclosure in Podcast Description: A Bond Account is a self-directed brokerage account with Public Investing, member FINRA/SIPC. Deposits into this account are used to purchase 10 investment-grade and high-yield bonds. As of 9/26/24, the average, annualized yield to worst (YTW) across the Bond Account is greater than 6%. A bond’s yield is a function of its market price, which can fluctuate; therefore, a bond’s YTW is not “locked in” until the bond is purchased, and your yield at time of purchase may be different from the yield shown here. The “locked in” YTW is not guaranteed; you may receive less than the YTW of the bonds in the Bond Account if you sell any of the bonds before maturity or if the issuer defaults on the bond. Public Investing charges a markup on each bond trade. See our Fee Schedule. Bond Accounts are not recommendations of individual bonds or default allocations. The bonds in the Bond Account have not been selected based on your needs or risk profile. See https://public.com/disclosures/bond-account to learn more.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Therapist Lauren LaRusso has spent the past few years learning everything she can about infidelity–why people have affairs, how to cope with an unfaithful spouse, and how to move forward with or without your partner after a betrayal. And she’s been sharing this wisdom with her 100,000 followers on Instagram. 

This week, Lauren explains why she approaches this topic with more curiosity than judgment, and she discusses the affair that happened in her own marriage that led her to become a trusted and invested authority on the matter. 

Learn more about Lauren at laurenlarusso.com or on her Instagram page. She also writes at laurenlarusso.substack.com.  

This episode references the song Next Lifetime by Erykah Badu.

Podcast production by Cameron Drews. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In 2021, we released an episode called The Weight of Love, where listeners shared stories about weight, body size, and how those factors affect their romantic relationships. Fast-forward to 2024, and weight loss drugs like Ozempic and Wegovy have complicated these issues even further. 

This week, listeners share stories and questions about dating, romance, sex, and self-love in the Ozempic era, and we’ve assembled a panel of experts to respond. Ronald Young Jr. is the host of Weight For It, a podcast about the conversations that we tend to avoid when it comes to our bodies. Anna Holmes wrote about her experience with the weight loss drug Mounjaro for Slate (and she is also executive producer for the exciting new podcast, The Wonder of Stevie). Jill Lewis is a body-positive therapist based in Atlanta. You can follow her on Instagram @jlewistherapy. 

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay and Cameron Drews. 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

Ad Disclosure in Podcast Description: A Bond Account is a self-directed brokerage account with Public Investing, member FINRA/SIPC. Deposits into this account are used to purchase 10 investment-grade and high-yield bonds. As of 9/26/24, the average, annualized yield to worst (YTW) across the Bond Account is greater than 6%. A bond’s yield is a function of its market price, which can fluctuate; therefore, a bond’s YTW is not “locked in” until the bond is purchased, and your yield at time of purchase may be different from the yield shown here. The “locked in” YTW is not guaranteed; you may receive less than the YTW of the bonds in the Bond Account if you sell any of the bonds before maturity or if the issuer defaults on the bond. Public Investing charges a markup on each bond trade. See our Fee Schedule. Bond Accounts are not recommendations of individual bonds or default allocations. The bonds in the Bond Account have not been selected based on your needs or risk profile. See https://public.com/disclosures/bond-account to learn more.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From an early age, Alynda Segarra saw the people they loved grind it out in an American system that offered them little reward. Their father, a musician and Vietnam War veteran, suffered from PTSD, and their aunt and uncle, with whom they lived, were stretched beyond their means. Alynda decided they would take a different path: drop out of school, hop trains, and form a band. "I just thought I should take a bunch of risks in [my family's] honor," Alynda told Anna.

In 2024, Hurray for the Riff Raff released their ninth album, The Past Is Still Alive, and it explores that early period of risk-taking and leaving home. In this episode, Alynda talks to Anna about how writing the album, plus the recent death of their father, made them reconsider family dynamics, joy, and what it means to be free.

You can read their newsletter, Resist Psychic Death, here. There’s a playlist of the songs in our episode here. 

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices