The Relationship School Podcast

15 minutes 1 second
Men Who Do Therapy but Their Situation Doesn’t Change - Jayson Gaddis - 569
Why do some men do therapy and still end up back in the same place? Jayson looks at the difference between the men who get results from therapy and the men who don’t. He explores what makes therapy actually lead to change and how pain can become a catalyst for doing something different.
Timestamps:
- 1:35 - the guys who do get results
- 5:39 - the guys who don't get results
- 10:00 - pain as a catalyst for change
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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6 October 2026, 11:00 am
15 minutes 49 seconds
Expectations - Jayson Gaddis - 568
How can expectations help or hurt your relationships? Jayson breaks down why unspoken expectations create resentment and why communicating your needs directly is essential. He explores the difference between appropriate and inappropriate expectations, how we project our values onto other people, and touches on workplace and parent/child dynamics. If you want fewer assumptions and more clarity in your relationships, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
- 1:40 - Communicate your needs directly
- 3:30 - Projecting your values onto others
- 6:50 - Appropriate relationship expectations
- 10:00 - Inappropriate relationship expectations
- 12:34 - Parent/child dynamics
- 14:30 - Transparency is key
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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22 September 2026, 11:00 am
10 minutes 31 seconds
Why You Don’t Speak Up - Jayson Gaddis - 567
Why is it so hard to speak up? Jayson explores the fears that keep people silent and how those fears often begin in childhood. He breaks down how to speak up without making things worse, who deserves your attention, and offers practical templates you can use to have difficult conversations. If you've been holding back what you really want to say, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
- 0:14 - fears that stop people from speaking up
- 1:37 - childhood roots of fear around speaking up
- 3:46 - how to speak up and do it well
- 5:14 - who should you give your attention to?
- 7:53 - templates for speakling up
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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15 September 2026, 6:17 pm
9 minutes 55 seconds
Why High Performing Men Fail at Marriage - Jayson Gaddis - 566
Why do so many high performing men struggle in marriage? Jayson explains why the same mindset that creates success at work often creates problems at home. He explores why trying to fix things can backfire, why slowing down is a relationship skill, how avoiding conflict keeps couples stuck, and three simple shifts that can make a real difference. If you're successful everywhere except your relationship, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
- 1:09 - Stop trying to fix it
- 3:00 - Slow down
- 4:50 - Don't be afraid of conflict
- 7:50 - 3 things you can do that make a difference
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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1 September 2026, 11:00 am
14 minutes 27 seconds
You Can’t Solve Relationship Problems on Your Own, Here’s Why - Jayson Gaddis - 565
Why can't you solve relationship problems on your own? Jayson explains why so many men try to figure out their relationships by themselves and why that approach usually fails. He explores why relationship skills have to be learned with other people, how healing happens in connection instead of isolation, and why the best place to work through relationship challenges is inside healthy relationships. If you are trying to fix your relationship alone, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
- 0:30 - why you can't solve relationship problems on your own
- 3:30 - why men try and solve relationship problems alone
- 6:00 - you have to learn relationship skills with others
- 9:30 - the best place to heal relationship traumas and challenges
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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11 August 2026, 11:00 am
1 hour 6 minutes
Why Us Men Get So Defensive & What to Do About It - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 564
Why do so many men get defensive? Jayson and Ellen explore where defensiveness comes from, the impact it has on relationships, and why it gets in the way of real connection. They share practical ways to interrupt defensive patterns, how to stay with your partner's feelings instead of protecting yourself, and what it looks like to take responsibility when you get it wrong. Jayson also shares what led him to dedicate his work to helping men and boys grow. If you want to become less defensive and more available in your relationships, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
- 4:30 - examples of defensiveness
- 9:30 - the relational cost of getting defensive
- 19:30 - how to address defensive patterns
- 28:00 - how to attend to your partner's feelings instead of being defensive
- 36:18 - what got Jayson interested in working with men and boys
- 49:36 - how to take responsibility for defensiveness
- 1:02:00 - increasing your capacity for growth
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
29 July 2026, 11:00 am
15 minutes 43 seconds
Why Life Keeps Kicking Your Ass (And What It's Trying to Teach You) - 563
Why does life keep kicking your ass? Jayson explains why the hardest parts of life are often the biggest opportunities for growth. He explores the difference between horizontal and vertical development, why your relationships expose where you need to grow, and why working on what causes you the most pain leads to the biggest breakthroughs. He also shares why marriage takes effort and why committed relationships require a willingness to keep developing. If you want to stop repeating the same patterns and start growing through them, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
- 1:16 - levelling up in life
- 2:54 - the problem with not leveling up your relationship skills
- 5:07 - horizontal development vs vertical development
- 6:19 - work on what causes you the most pain
- 8:27 - relationships are hard because they're collaborative
- 10:02 - marriages take effort
- 13:04 - if you don't want to do developmental work don't get married
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
21 July 2026, 9:00 am
9 minutes 39 seconds
Why It’s a Bad Idea to Say "Be a Man" to a Guy - 562
Why is telling a man to "be a man" such a bad idea? Jayson breaks down what messages men actually hear when they're told to "man up" and how those messages create shame instead of growth. He explores why men constantly compare themselves to other men, what people are really asking for in moments of conflict, and why making relationship problems about gender usually misses the point. If you want to communicate with men in a way that actually works, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
- 0:49 - what saying "be a man" does to your guy
- 3:00 - how men compare themselves with other men
- 5:48 - what does "man up" really mean in this moment?
- 8:06 - just stop making relationship conflicts about gender
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
30 June 2026, 10:59 am
8 minutes 19 seconds
Suffering - 561
What do you do with suffering? Jayson touches on the four noble truths and what they point to in everyday life. He explores why suffering is part of being human, what happens when you stop avoiding it, and how to be with your experience instead of trying to escape it. He also shares how making meaning from your suffering can change how you relate to your life. If you are dealing with pain and want a different way to approach it, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
- 0:13 - Four noble truths
- 1:01 - Life is suffering
- 1:52 - Be with your suffering
- 6:25 - Making meaning from suffering
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
2 June 2026, 11:00 am
9 minutes 14 seconds
Good Couples Work Does This - Jayson Gaddis - 560
How do you know if couples work is actually working? Jayson breaks down what good couples therapy should feel like and the signs you are making real progress. He explains why you need to advocate for yourself as a client, the two directions effective work should move in, and why you should be getting somewhere over time. If you are in therapy and wondering if it is helping, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
- 0:29 - How do you know that couples therapy is working?
- 2:51 - Advocate for yourself as a therapy client
- 5:08 - The two directions couples work should go
- 6:24 - You should be getting somewhere in therapy
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
12 May 2026, 11:00 am
12 minutes 37 seconds
Deep Listeners vs Shallow Listeners - Jayson Gaddis - 559
What separates a deep listener from a shallow one? Jayson breaks down why most people are not actually listening and how the lack of real curiosity shows up in conversations. He explains why follow up questions matter, what it means to ask real questions, and how losing curiosity in your relationship creates distance. He also challenges you to go deeper with the people in your life if you want real connection. If you want to become someone people feel truly heard by, this episode is for you.
Timestamps:
- 0:09 The difference between good listeners and bad listeners
- 1:27 People don't know how to ask followup questions
- 5:12 Asking real questions
- 8:07 Don't lose your curiosity in marriage
- 11:00 Challenge yourself to go deeper with people
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
5 May 2026, 11:00 am
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