The Relationship School Podcast

14 minutes 27 seconds

You Can’t Solve Relationship Problems on Your Own, Here’s Why - Jayson Gaddis - 565

Why can't you solve relationship problems on your own? Jayson explains why so many men try to figure out their relationships by themselves and why that approach usually fails. He explores why relationship skills have to be learned with other people, how healing happens in connection instead of isolation, and why the best place to work through relationship challenges is inside healthy relationships. If you are trying to fix your relationship alone, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

0:30 - why you can't solve relationship problems on your own
3:30 - why men try and solve relationship problems alone
6:00 - you have to learn relationship skills with others
9:30 - the best place to heal relationship traumas and challenges

Links:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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11 August 2026, 11:00 am

1 hour 6 minutes

Why Us Men Get So Defensive & What to Do About It - Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder - 564

Why do so many men get defensive? Jayson and Ellen explore where defensiveness comes from, the impact it has on relationships, and why it gets in the way of real connection. They share practical ways to interrupt defensive patterns, how to stay with your partner's feelings instead of protecting yourself, and what it looks like to take responsibility when you get it wrong. Jayson also shares what led him to dedicate his work to helping men and boys grow. If you want to become less defensive and more available in your relationships, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

4:30 - examples of defensiveness
9:30 - the relational cost of getting defensive
19:30 - how to address defensive patterns
28:00 - how to attend to your partner's feelings instead of being defensive
36:18 - what got Jayson interested in working with men and boys
49:36 - how to take responsibility for defensiveness
1:02:00 - increasing your capacity for growth

Links:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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29 July 2026, 11:00 am

15 minutes 43 seconds

Why Life Keeps Kicking Your Ass (And What It's Trying to Teach You) - 563

Why does life keep kicking your ass? Jayson explains why the hardest parts of life are often the biggest opportunities for growth. He explores the difference between horizontal and vertical development, why your relationships expose where you need to grow, and why working on what causes you the most pain leads to the biggest breakthroughs. He also shares why marriage takes effort and why committed relationships require a willingness to keep developing. If you want to stop repeating the same patterns and start growing through them, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

1:16 - levelling up in life
2:54 - the problem with not leveling up your relationship skills
5:07 - horizontal development vs vertical development
6:19 - work on what causes you the most pain
8:27 - relationships are hard because they're collaborative
10:02 - marriages take effort
13:04 - if you don't want to do developmental work don't get married

Links:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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21 July 2026, 9:00 am

9 minutes 39 seconds

Why It’s a Bad Idea to Say "Be a Man" to a Guy - 562

Why is telling a man to "be a man" such a bad idea? Jayson breaks down what messages men actually hear when they're told to "man up" and how those messages create shame instead of growth. He explores why men constantly compare themselves to other men, what people are really asking for in moments of conflict, and why making relationship problems about gender usually misses the point. If you want to communicate with men in a way that actually works, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

0:49 - what saying "be a man" does to your guy
3:00 - how men compare themselves with other men
5:48 - what does "man up" really mean in this moment?
8:06 - just stop making relationship conflicts about gender

Links:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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30 June 2026, 10:59 am

8 minutes 19 seconds

Suffering - 561

What do you do with suffering? Jayson touches on the four noble truths and what they point to in everyday life. He explores why suffering is part of being human, what happens when you stop avoiding it, and how to be with your experience instead of trying to escape it. He also shares how making meaning from your suffering can change how you relate to your life. If you are dealing with pain and want a different way to approach it, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

0:13 - Four noble truths
1:01 - Life is suffering
1:52 - Be with your suffering
6:25 - Making meaning from suffering

Links:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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2 June 2026, 11:00 am

9 minutes 14 seconds

Good Couples Work Does This - Jayson Gaddis - 560

How do you know if couples work is actually working? Jayson breaks down what good couples therapy should feel like and the signs you are making real progress. He explains why you need to advocate for yourself as a client, the two directions effective work should move in, and why you should be getting somewhere over time. If you are in therapy and wondering if it is helping, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

0:29 - How do you know that couples therapy is working?
2:51 - Advocate for yourself as a therapy client
5:08 - The two directions couples work should go
6:24 - You should be getting somewhere in therapy

Links:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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12 May 2026, 11:00 am

12 minutes 37 seconds

Deep Listeners vs Shallow Listeners - Jayson Gaddis - 559

What separates a deep listener from a shallow one? Jayson breaks down why most people are not actually listening and how the lack of real curiosity shows up in conversations. He explains why follow up questions matter, what it means to ask real questions, and how losing curiosity in your relationship creates distance. He also challenges you to go deeper with the people in your life if you want real connection. If you want to become someone people feel truly heard by, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

0:09 The difference between good listeners and bad listeners
1:27 People don't know how to ask followup questions
5:12 Asking real questions
8:07 Don't lose your curiosity in marriage
11:00 Challenge yourself to go deeper with people

Links:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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5 May 2026, 11:00 am

13 minutes 44 seconds

Changing Your Wife to Get What You Want - Jayson Gaddis - 558

Why does trying to change your partner backfire? Jayson breaks down what happens when you try to get your wife to change when she does not want to, and how unmet expectations turn into resentment. He explains the arrogance behind trying to shape your partner, why behavior change requests often miss the point, and what it actually means to love someone as they are. If you keep pushing for change and not getting it, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

2:53 - Trying to change a partner who doesn’t want to change
5:44 - Resentment from unmet expectations
8:49 - the arrogance of trying to change your partner
10:09 - Stop making behaviour change requests
11:44 - Trying to change someone is not loving them

Links:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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7 April 2026, 11:00 am

11 minutes 41 seconds

Feelings Are Key to Great Partnerships - Jayson Gaddis - 557

Why are feelings so essential for a strong partnership? Jayson explains how emotions are at the center of secure relationships and where therapy can fall short. He explores how to handle your child’s emotions, the feelings men are often taught to suppress, and what it takes to express yourself in a healthy way. If you want deeper connection in your relationships, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

0:35 - emotions are essential for secure relationships
2:17 - the limitations of therapy
5:45 - fielding your kid’s emotions
6:55 - feelings men aren’t allowed to feel
9:26 - learning to express your feelings appropriately

Links:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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31 March 2026, 11:00 am

11 minutes 30 seconds

How to De-Escalate Someone Immediately - Jayson Gaddis - 556

How do you de escalate someone in the moment without making things worse? Jayson breaks down how to calm someone down quickly by staying regulated, entering their world, and validating what is real for them. He explains why trying to fix or win backfires, what it means to take ownership when needed, and why none of this works if you are not being genuine. If you find yourself dealing with big emotions in others and want a better way to respond, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

0:50 - how to de-escalate quickly
2:39 - don’t get disregulated
3:41 - enter their world
4:58 - validate and own
8:19 - you have to be genuine

Links:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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24 March 2026, 11:00 am

14 minutes 40 seconds

I Don’t Want to Feel - Jayson Gaddis - 555

Why do so many of us avoid our feelings until they force their way out? Jayson shares his own experience with not wanting to feel and the cost of suppressing emotions. He explores the temptation to medicate symptoms without addressing the root cause, why people hold it together in public only to explode at home, and how the people closest to us can help reveal our deepest triggers. If you are tired of stuffing your emotions or afraid of what might happen if you let them surface, this episode is for you.

Timestamps:

0:30 - Jayson’s experience with avoiding emotions
6:40 - Medicating without addressing the root cause
8:04 - Why people wait to explode at home
12:58 - Other people can help us identify our triggers

Links:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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10 March 2026, 11:00 am