The Relationship School Podcast

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The Relationship School Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

with Jayson Gaddis

15 minutes 13 seconds

Does the Masculine-Feminine Frame Work? - Jayson Gaddis - 551
Jayson examines why the masculine feminine framework often creates more problems than it solves. How can this framing be harmful for men? Why does trying to change your partner keep people stuck? What role does attachment play in relationship dynamics, and what is a better way to understand gender issues altogether? Jayson also reflects on his own experience with this framework and offers a more grounded perspective.
Timestamps:
- 2:12 - How the masculine-feminine frame can be bad for men
- 3:57 - The trap of trying to change your partner
- 6:09 - The importance of understanding attachment
- 8:53 - A better framing
- 11:11 - Social determinants of gender issues
- 12:19 - Jayson’s experience with the masculine-feminine frame
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
30 December 2025, 12:00 pm
17 minutes 13 seconds

How to Spot an Elder - Jayson Gaddis - 550
How do you recognize someone who has actually earned wisdom? In this conversation, Jayson breaks down what makes an elder an elder. He explains why it has nothing to do with age or status, how real elders show emotional maturity, what it means to hold space without fixing or rescuing, and why outgrowing your parents is a part of becoming an elder. If you want to understand who to trust, who to learn from, or how to become someone worth following, this episode lays it out clearly.

Timestamps:
- 2:21 - Elders are people who did the work
- 5:46 - Elders hold space
- 9:28 - Outgrowing your parents
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
23 December 2025, 12:00 pm
10 minutes 9 seconds

Your Strategy Is Draining - Jayson Gaddis - 549
What happens when you spend your life trying to be the good one, the agreeable one, or the one who never makes waves? Jayson breaks down the hidden exhaustion that comes from living in your strategic self. He explains how masking drains your energy, why people in strategy stay on the surface, and what it takes to reconnect with your true self. If you feel tired from managing how you come across, this episode shows you why and what to do next.
Timestamps:
- 0:21 - Are you tired from wearing a mask?
- 3:42 - If you’re trying to be good you’ve already lost
- 5:12 - The difference between your strategic self and your true self
- 7:10 - People in their strategy stay surface level
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
16 December 2025, 12:00 pm
16 minutes 48 seconds

Extreme Ownership - Jayson Gaddis - 548
What makes securely attached families different? Jayson explores how self-examination and meaning making play a vital role in healthy relationships. He explains why understanding your own story and continuing to make meaning from it is essential for building lasting connection and security.
Timestamps:
- 0:40 - The hallmark of securely attached families
- 2:55 - Clients need to do self-examination
- 5:19 - Making meaning is an ongoing process
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
18 November 2025, 5:09 pm
9 minutes 58 seconds

Putting the Pieces Together - Jayson Gaddis - 547
What makes securely attached families different? Jayson explores how self-examination and meaning making play a vital role in healthy relationships. He explains why understanding your own story and continuing to make meaning from it is essential for building lasting connection and security.
Timestamps:
- 0:40 - The hallmark of securely attached families
- 2:55 - Clients need to do self-examination
- 5:19 - Making meaning is an ongoing process
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
22 October 2025, 5:56 pm
9 minutes 30 seconds

Knowing What to Work On - Jayson Gaddis - 546
How do you know what to actually work on in yourself or your relationship? Jayson explains how to identify your pain points, avoid vague or unhelpful advice, and set goals that lead to real progress. If you’re tired of spinning your wheels in personal growth, this episode will help you focus on what really matters.
Timestamps:
- 1:50 - Identify your pain points
- 4:09 - Don’t settle for vague help
- 5:30 - Set goals around your pain points
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
14 October 2025, 3:24 pm
1 hour 22 minutes

Suffering & The Human Journey with Keith Kurlander - 545
Keith Kurlander joins Jayson to explore why people suffer and how we can move closer to authenticity. Is personal development ever narcissistic? Why do so many people chase quick fixes instead of real education and growth? Keith and Jayson discuss the importance of connecting to your authentic self and what makes relationships thrive with greater ease.
Timestamps:
- 0:49 - Why do people suffer so much?
- 8:00 - Being authentic to yourself
- 24:00 - Can person development be narcissistic?
- 38:00 - Seek education, not quick fixes
- 58:30 - Getting connected to your authentic self
- 1:10:00 - Couples who have an easy time
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
8 October 2025, 5:49 pm
17 minutes 20 seconds

Stop Avoiding Difficult Conversations (Do This Instead) - Jayson Gaddis - 544
Avoiding hard conversations doesn’t make them go away. It builds resentment, distance, and unresolved tension. In this episode, Jayson unpacks why avoiding conflict costs more than it saves, how to approach difficult conversations with honesty and care, and why vulnerability is the key to repair.
Timestamps:
- 1:00 - The cost of not having difficult conversations
- 7:00 - How to have hard difficult conversations
- 10:50 - Leading with vulnerability
- 13:00 - Learning to repair after difficult conversations
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
1 October 2025, 11:00 am
10 minutes 5 seconds

The World I Want to See - Jayson Gaddis - 543
In the wake of the Charlie Kirk shooting and the Evergreen High School shooting, Jayson reflects on the wave of hatred and blame that erupts online after tragedy. From a Buddhist perspective, he explores how we can stop seeing others as the enemy, reclaim our focus, and begin creating the kind of world we actually want to live in.
Timestamps:
- 0:44 - Hatred and blame on social media
- 1:41 - A Buddhist perspective
- 3:53 - Stop seeing other people as the enemy
- 5:46 - Controlling your focus
- 7:56 - The world I want to live in
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
17 September 2025, 3:42 pm
9 minutes 32 seconds

The Disservice of Reassurance - Jayson Gaddis - 542
Jayson breaks down the hidden problems with reassurance. What’s wrong with saying “it’s going to be okay”? When is reassurance actually appropriate, and when does it backfire? What makes reassurance a problem in coaching or therapy? Jayson explains what to say instead and why a deeper response is far more effective for real growth.
Timestamps:
- 0:32 - What’s wrong with saying “it’s going to be okay”?
- 2:12 - When reassurance is appropriate
- 4:14 - The problem with reassurance as a coach or therapist
- 6:10 - What to say instead of “it’s going to be okay”
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
3 September 2025, 11:00 am
10 minutes 16 seconds

I Don’t Want to Bring It Up - Jayson Gaddis - 541
Jayson explores the dynamics of conflict avoidance and why so many people are scared to speak up. What childhood roots contribute to staying silent? Who are you really protecting when you avoid conflict? How does the fear of abandonment keep you quiet? Jayson also unpacks the role of differentiation in learning to bring things up with courage and clarity.
Timestamps:
- 0:44 - Conflict avoidance
- 1:28 - Childhood roots of being scared to speak up
- 2:33 - Who are you really protecting by avoiding conflict?
- 3:34 - Fear of abandonment
- 7:25 - Differentiation
Links:
- ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Relationship School⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Follow Jayson on social media:
28 August 2025, 6:48 pm
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