Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain tiering. On this episode of Baconsale, we’re saluting famous fictional leaders from film, television, literature, and more. Joel, Kent, and Zack have created a list of 24 popular captains, and they’ll be ranking them based on how readily they would join their crew. Will Captain Hook reel them in? Can Captain Picard pique their interest? Is Captain Jack Sparrow cursed? Could Captain Marvel inspire wonder? Does Captain Malcolm Reynolds think Captain Phasma is shiny? Who is Captain Caveman? Listen and join the debate.   Press play to discover which given titles are the real deal and which Baconsale host can’t read.

When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city to be podcast fan. And on this episode of Baconsale, we’re going to Move Along to the music of 2006. Not just the hits On the Radio, but also other songs these White & Nerdy guys feel are Irreplaceable. This was, after all, a time when Zack, in his red-studded belt and double-popped collars, was forming his musical tastes and Joel was Waiting for the World to Change along with the other Young Folks. Kent starts off pretty positive this time, which is Crazy, but his Hips Don’t Lie for long. We hope you enjoy The Adventure in the pre-mumblecore times as we go Chasing Cars, build whistling playlists, and teach you How to Save a Life.   Steady as She Goes! Press play to create a Supermassive Black Hole and bring SexyBack. Yeah!   For a Sweet Escape, find our official Spotify playlist for this episode at Baconsale.com.

Deep beneath the murky depths, a mysterious episode of Baconsale is bubbling to the surface. Joel, Kent, and Zack have explored every ocean, sea, lake, and river to find the strangest and creepiest fictional aquatic creatures around. We’ll share horrifying historical accounts of seafarers from centuries ago and tell spooky stories of sea monsters from across the globe. We’ll also offer some frightening facts about the Kraken, Gill-man, and Cthulhu itself. Then we’ll end the episode by letting you know if any of the sea creature features we’ve watched are worth diving into.   Get over your fear of plesiosaurs and use your opposable thumbs to press play.

Our What Would Baconsale Do episodes have always gotten a little dark in parts, but on this episode, we’re fully embracing the macabre. This time, all of our hypothetical questions are Halloween-themed, including the unsettling scenarios submitted by you, the listener. Joel, Kent, and Zack will take turns giving their answers and try not to be too frightened as they decide which host will haunt them, where would be the spookiest place to spend the night, what dreadful candy they should eat, and which horror movie icon should be their boss. We invite you to play along, but watch out for jump scare sound effects, insights into our psyches, and some mild bullying as we navigate our fear of the unknown.   Press play for a short Batman sidetrack.

Konnichiwa, listener! ¿Cómo estás? Well, we are doing très bien because we’re going to show our chilling cultured side on this episode of Baconsale. Joel and Kent have each brought 10 foreign horror (forror) films they’re ready to share with you. Five of them we’ll recommend, and five of them we’ll tell you to avoid. Although the reasons why we don’t recommend certain movies varies. WARNING: Kent has some pretty dark and disturbing choices, but he’ll do his best to keep things family friendly/Americanized. Along the way, we’ll learn new pronunciations of movie titles from Zack, discover Kent’s love for Korea, and try to protect Joel’s soul.   Both Admiral Botox and Mackers want you press play.

October has arrived, so Baconsale is kicking things off with a macabre game of M.A.S.H. Joel, Kent, and Zack are each going to be building an epic spook alley. The haunting hand of fate will decide what each of our rooms will look like, which creatures or characters will inhabit those spaces, and what music will be playing. We’ll also finish things off with a frightening grand finale from heck! It’s then up to you to decide which haunted house you’d dare to enter. Listen as contact levels are decided, so many lemons are picked, and OSHA regulations are completely ignored.   Press play and then let us know if you’d rather visit Joel-o-ween, Fright Club, or The Mall.

Imagine this: you’re sitting comfortably on your couch, snug as a bug in a rug, when you start to feel a slight tickle on your arm. You lift the blanket to find a creepy-crawly pest resting on you. How would you react? That’s the question we’re asking on this episode of Baconsale. Joel, Kent, and Zack have created a list of 24 bugs (including ants, spiders, moths, flies, mosquitoes, cockroaches, grasshoppers, bees, and ladybugs) and we’re going to tier them according to how much they would cause us to freak out. We’ll also share some fun facts about each insect, arachnid, crustacean, and myriapod as we do our best to pronounce their scientific names correctly and not enforce certain gender stereotypes.   Did you just get an itchy feeling on your scalp? Instead of going for your blowtorch, you’d better just press play, beetle buddy.

We’re back (A Dinosaur's Story) to finish what we started and finally determine… who some of these animated characters are. After all, these should now be the better-known villains of the non-Disney bunch, right? And then, after we can clearly picture these individual antagonists, we’ll do our best to argue who would win in a fight to the death. This will, of course, lead to a number of random side conversations, including a whole discussion about healthcare plans and a couple conspiracy theories. We may agree a lot at the beginning, but then we become sentient and corporeal, and the dark magic starts to take over and as we enter the sinister sixteen, evil eight, fearsome four, and final match-up.   Which non-Disney villain will come out victorious? Press play to find out.   Visit Baconsale.com to download the advanced version of this bracket.

Why should Disney villains have all the fun? On this episode of Baconsale, we’re turning the spotlight on evil, animated antagonists from other film studios such as DreamWorks (Lord Farquaad, Tai Lung), Illumination (Vector, Bowser), Fox (Soto, Hexxus), and even some Don Bluth productions (Rasputin, Sharptooth). You may not remember some of these characters, but that’s okay because we didn’t either. However, we’ll remind you of which movie they’re from, what they look like, and what their crimes are. We’ve also randomized the match-ups so there are a lot of wild card battles in this first round of the tournament. And watch out for decades-old spoilers as we don’t pull any punches.   Press play to find out why Plankton is Batman.   And visit Baconsale.com to download our official non-Disney villain bracket.

On this episode of Baconsale, we are the danger, because we’re entering the Gilliverse (Vince Gilligan’s Island?) and discussing Breaking Bad, El Camino, and Better Call Saul. We’ll begin by Gliding Over All with a spoiler-free history of each show. We’ll then use our Gray Matter to analyze characters such as Saul Goodman, Jesse Pinkman, Kim Wexler, Mike Ehrmantraut, Gus Fring, and the Cancer Man himself: Walter White/Heisenberg. Once we’re given the Green Light, we’ll take the Gloves Off and go Full Measure into spoiler territory and all the Chicanery that happens in these shows. We’ll talk about the Plan and Execution of a few specific episodes, chat about the jaw-dropping moments when certain characters Face Off, and debate if the End Times of each story was Something Beautiful or just Dead Freight.   It was Quite a Ride to watch these all again. Press play to enter the Crawl Space and be the one who knocks.

It’s Sunrise on the Reaping of fall movies for Baconsale. Joel, Kent, and Zack have searched the Wildwood of the web and Hope to help you know which films are going Open World before the end of the year. We’ve used some Practical Magic 2 choose five films we want to avoid, and five (Minus Zero) that belong in Primetime. We’ll do our best to not act like an Ebenezer or make it sound like Doomsday in the theaters, but The Social Reckoning may happen and we may be taken over by some sort of Resident Evil at times.   Don’t Look Back in Anger at your Other Mommy. Be a Digger and press play.