My guests today are Jaya Ramesh and Priya Saaral. Jaya and Priya have a lot in common, including being the co-authors of their new book, “Parenting at the Intersections.” This is a deeply emotional topic for them, both personally and professionally.  

Many people are discussing the experience of neurodivergence, and many people are discussing being a person of color, but where are the resources for neurodivergent people of color? Jaya and Priya have so much wisdom to share, from asking for what your child needs until they get it, what people who aren’t raising neurodivergent children of color need to know, and why & how to be there for all kids, not just your kid. 

We dig deep into how we can expand our definition of what’s “normal,” so that we can be less judgmental, especially when there are systems in place working against that, and how hard it can be for adolescents to find their strengths when we are so focused on deficits.  

Takeaways from the show

• How do you hold the feedback about your child from their school? 
• How do you make it work when public school is the only option? 
• Asking for what you or your child(ren) needs until you get it 
• Checking your biases
• What do people who aren’t raising neurodivergent children of color need to know? 
• Being curious, empathetic, & compassionate 
• Being in it for all kids, not just your kid 
• Expanding our definition of “normal” so we can be less judgmental 
• Moving away from neurotypical expectations, narratives, & timelines 
• Holding that space for our child(ren) when they show up differently

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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Ooh, I have some fun during this week's solo show... If I could go back to parenting my kids through middle school I would take my own advice and do it differently. The beauty of hindsight. Lucky for YOU I am sharing all of my thoughts around parenting during middle school years today on the show!

Find the full show notes and info about sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-484-the-real-work-of-parenting-during-the-middle-school-years

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My friend Douglas Haddad is here this week to chat about all things middle school, with a focus on encouraging discouraged learners.  

Douglas has been teaching for over 24 years (at ONE school!), and I love his commitment to his students. Douglas shares what he’s seen changing during that period, like higher anxiety & social media misuse, and what’s stayed the same, like a child’s need to feel loved, heard, and understood.   

Douglas shares his wisdom on keeping middle schoolers encouraged & engaged: making sure they understand the systems in place around them, how we can help when our kid isn’t connecting with a teacher, collaborating on family agreements, and helping our tweens grow their tolerance for discomfort.  

Takeaways from the show

• What’s different between middle school today & when you were a tween? 
• “Loved, heard, and understood” 
• What does discouragement look like in the classroom? 
• Wait Until 8th Pledge 
• Does your child know & understand the systems in place around them? 
• How to help foster connection between your child & their teachers 
• Family contracts, charters, agreements, & meetings 
• Being available without an agenda or judgment 
• Setting & celebrating small goals 
• Scaffolding for our kiddos to grow their tolerance for discomfort

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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It is so easy, when we aren't paying attention, to let our minds slide into all the worst-case scenarios, the worst possible outcomes, "dead in a ditch." I know, I've been there, and it ISN'T USEFUL. It isn't an empowered or encouraged parenting mindset during the teen years. So how do we shift?? Listen to this episode and find out!

Get more show notes and info about sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-482-Shifting-from-worst-case-scenarios-to-trusting-process-teens/

Join the FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens

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Amy & Christy are back for part 2 of our conversation, and we’re talking about pornography.  

Please believe us: your kid is going to see porn. Some families are more aware & ready for this moment than others, so what can you do and say to prepare? You can’t prevent the exposure or know how your child will react, but we can get ready for it and start the conversation now. Pornography is all over the place and often hidden, and unfortunately kids view that as Sex Ed & think that pornography is what sex with a partner will be like for them - they assume that hardcore porn is real life. Seeing these images train their brain; watching porn today is very different from running into an issue of Playboy when we were kids, and it’s impossible to avoid.  

So what do we say to our kids? What’s the magic word? Christy shares the way she uses values to talk to her teen, and Amy explains how to keep the conversation around other kids to break through to your own teen. We touch on monitoring software & sugar dating. The good news here is that there are many resources available for families to use, and it can get better. 

Takeaways from the show

• Your kids will see pornography 
• Pornography is different than when you were a kid 
• Kids often keep it a secret if they see pornographic material. Let them know they won’t be in trouble!  
• Pornography is often in hidden, unexpected spaces
• Kids see pornography as Sex Ed 
• Pornography trains their growing brain - including the themes of misogyny, racism, & shame around their bodies 
• Don’t tell yourself, “it won’t happen to my kid” 
• Porn is harder to avoid today than it was to find in the ‘80s 
• What do we say to our kids about this? 
• Conversations about pornography need to start early - earlier than you think! Keep them short & frequent
• Using monitoring software

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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This week we are going deep into examining the beliefs we hold about our kids and how they might actually be what is getting in the way and creating the suffering we are experiencing. I know, seems like an easy fix, right? We may not be able to control our kids (truly, we can't) but what we BELIEVE about them is for sure a part of our influence AND for SURE impacts how we EXPERIENCE them. Listen in and let me know what you think.

Find more about our sponsors and full show notes at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-480-power-of-examining-beliefs-we-hold-about-our-teens-and-tweens/

Jump into the FB group discussion at https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1604661457038309/

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My guest today is my good, local friend - Cindy Palmer. 

Cindy’s here to talk about executive functioning in kids with neurodivergence, especially during the transition to college. High School is a time that is typically incredibly structured, down to the minute, and the transition to college is tricky for all adolescents. What do we do when it feels like our kids aren’t ready? How can parents help scaffold that transition? Especially for kids with neurodivergence? Cindy shares lots of strategies and ideas around supporting our adolescents during this tricky time - getting curious & compassionate, not holding a certain view on what things “should” look like, and what kind of bumps slow down (or stop) our kiddos from getting their work done.  

I ask Cindy what we can be doing in the middle & high school years to help with the transition (spoiler: it’s lots of practice & baby steps) and we talk about how important grades actually are. We get into what we can hand over to our kids right now (how about waking themselves up in the morning?) and why we want to practice these life skills in middle school, not the first week of college. We wrap up touching on adjusting our expectations for how older kiddos contribute to the family (and how we can use these as opportunities to teach life skills).  

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You and me and enthusiastic curiosity - WOOHOO! It may sound crazy but when we can really connect with the experience we are having while navigating our kids' mischief, regulate, and shift into curiosity, there is space for much deeper connection and learning for all. Truly. Listen to this show for tips on all the things - and let me know what you think!

For show notes and more info on our sponsors, head to https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-478-Meeting-misbehavior-with-enthusiastic-curiosity/

To chime in on your take-aways, join the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1600103267494128/

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I am SO glad you’re here this week for my second chat with Emily Cherkin, AKA The Screentime Consultant.  

We start by talking about what Emily’s been seeing & dealing with lately: managing screentime at home, reigning screentime in after Covid struggles, and kids having more access to tech at younger ages than ever before. It’s obvious that parents are really trying to figure out how to set screentime limits that actually work without isolating our kids from their social network or hindering their schoolwork. We also get into screens & tech in the bedroom & our hypocrisy on expectations around screentime.  

After catching up on all of that, we dig into AI - what AI is, how quickly it’s changing, & the lack of transparency and understanding around AI. Emily shares her TLDR around all tech: “less is more, later is better, & relationships first.” Emily and I ponder on what parents can do when they want their kids to have a phone for emergencies, and she shares what her two questions for parents are around screentime.  

Key Takeaways

• How do we set screentime limits that actually work and are helpful?! 
• Tech use is all about balance 
• Managing screentime at home 
• Reigning in screentime after Covid 
• Screens & electronics in bedrooms 
• What is AI?  
• “Less is more, later is better, & relationships first” 
• How adolescents having phones helps & exacerbates parental stressors 
• Do you know what your kid is doing on their device?  
• You have the tools you need to manage this! 

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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Hey there - back again with thoughts on Monday's episode and prompting us all to have a broader perspective than just the one that lives in our heads. Our relationships depend on our willingness to consider how where we are coming from is getting in the way of what we ultimately want to create. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this!

For more show notes and info on our sponsors go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-476-Being-right-downside-comparing-our-experience-others/

To share your takeaways to the prompts in the FB Group, go to: https://www.facebook.com/groups/jcforparentsofteens/posts/1596414907862964/

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My guest today is Aaron Steinberg. 

Aaron is super passionate about equipping couples with the tools they need for the challenges of parenthood. The good news is that these challenges are universal, and we can make changes in our relationships. Aaron and I get into a whole lot in our conversation: family meetings, offering & receiving feedback from a spouse, and how to talk to your spouse when you’re the one with the new tools & ideas to try. I love Aaron’s framing of being “somewhat right” and why the objective truth doesn’t really matter in a relationship. I ask Aaron what he thinks about ambivalence showing up in a long-term relationship and what realistic expectations are in a long marriage. 

Takeaways from the show:

• Parenting brings up all kinds of things from our past & can make us feel incompatible with our partner
• Sometimes our needs are seemingly incompatible with our partner’s needs 
• Relationships are constant practice 
• Family meetings 
• Offering feedback kindly & receiving feedback openly
• Separating feelings problems from action problems  
• Erasing competitiveness from problems 
• Being “somewhat right” 
• Ambivalence in a long relationship
• Checking your vision of marriage

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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