What if the reason your anxiety keeps coming back isn't because you're thinking the "wrong thoughts"?

In this episode, Sebastiaan sits down with psychologist Steve Wells to talk about Intention Tapping, a variation of EFT tapping that has deeply influenced how Seb helps people with social anxiety.

They explore why social anxiety often can't be "out-thought," why emotional attachment matters more than thoughts alone, and how tapping may help reduce the nervous system's perception of threat.

You'll hear why anxiety can become linked to everyday social situations, why resisting anxiety often makes it stronger, and how Intention Tapping can help release the emotional charge underneath social anxiety symptoms.

In this conversation, they cover:

• Why logic alone often doesn't stop social anxiety • The difference between CBT and tapping • Why anxiety is not just a thought problem • How emotional attachment keeps anxiety active • Why social anxiety is often a protective response • How tapping can help calm the nervous system • Why small shifts matter more than people think • How tapping can support gentle real-life progress • What to do when tapping "doesn't work" right away • How setbacks can become breakthroughs

They also discuss fear of judgment, blushing, physical anxiety symptoms, performance anxiety, upcoming social events, public speaking, podcasting, salsa dancing, and why forcing yourself to face your fears is not always the most effective path.

If you've tried changing your thoughts, affirmations, mindset work, or pushing yourself through social situations but still get triggered, this episode will give you a different way to understand social anxiety and what may help it shift.

Learn more from Steve Wells: https://intentiontapping.com https://eftdownunder.com

Get Sebastiaan's free training: Overcome Social Anxiety Without Having To Force Yourself To Face Your Fears https://bit.ly/socialconfidencenow Want structured guidance applying tapping to social anxiety? Fast Social Anxiety Relief is Sebastiaan's step-by-step program that shows you what to tap on, how to use tapping before, during, and after social situations, and how to gradually reduce the emotional triggers behind social anxiety. https://www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/fast-social-anxiety-relief/

Do you feel awkward or stuck when trying to talk to new people? You are not alone. Social anxiety can make simple interactions feel like a big deal.

In this episode I talk with Christoph Schiessl, someone who feels naturally at ease meeting strangers and building connections anywhere in the world. We explore how he approaches people without overthinking, why he expects positive interactions, and how his mindset makes socializing feel simple and even enjoyable.

What you'll discover: 🔹 How to start conversations without overthinking what to say 🔹 Why most strangers are far less judgmental than you think 🔹 How to feel more relaxed when meeting new people 🔹 Why focusing on connection works better than trying to impress 🔹 How to make friends naturally through simple interactions

💡 Quote from Christoph: "When I meet someone, I'm fully there in that moment. That's what people feel."

Start here: Free 7 Secrets to Social Confidence https://bit.ly/socialconfidencepodcast This short mini-course explains: • why social anxiety happens • why forcing exposure often backfires • how the fight-flight-freeze response creates anxiety symptoms • how tapping can help release the emotions and beliefs that trigger anxiety It's designed to help you understand what's actually driving social anxiety and give you a first experience with the tapping approach.

Do you want more connection, but still overthink what to say when meeting someone new? You are not alone. Social anxiety can make starting conversations feel much bigger than it is.

In this episode I talk with Teun Melis about how to start conversations in a low-pressure way, how to keep socializing light and natural, and how real friendships usually grow. We explore why curiosity works better than trying to impress, why repeated shared activities make connection easier, and why a little awkwardness is not a problem if you keep showing up.

What you'll discover: 🔹 A simple low-pressure way to start conversations 🔹 Why curiosity works better than trying to be interesting 🔹 How timing can matter more than saying the perfect thing 🔹 How friendships grow naturally through shared interests and repeated contact 🔹 Why a little awkwardness is normal and worth pushing through

💡 Quote from Teun: "Just see it as a game, try out different things, and don't focus on the result."

Start here: Free 7 Secrets to Social Confidence https://bit.ly/socialconfidencepodcast This short mini-course explains: • why social anxiety happens • why forcing exposure often backfires • how the fight-flight-freeze response creates anxiety symptoms • how tapping can help release the emotions and beliefs that trigger anxiety It's designed to help you understand what's actually driving social anxiety and give you a first experience with the tapping approach.

Do you want more connection, but still overthink what to say when meeting someone new? You are not alone. Social anxiety can make starting conversations feel much bigger than it is.

In this episode I talk with Teun Melis about how to start conversations in a low-pressure way, how to keep socializing light and natural, and how real friendships usually grow. We explore why curiosity works better than trying to impress, why repeated shared activities make connection easier, and why a little awkwardness is not a problem if you keep showing up.

What you'll discover: 🔹 A simple low-pressure way to start conversations 🔹 Why curiosity works better than trying to be interesting 🔹 How timing can matter more than saying the perfect thing 🔹 How friendships grow naturally through shared interests and repeated contact 🔹 Why a little awkwardness is normal and worth pushing through

💡 Quote from Teun: "Just see it as a game, try out different things, and don't focus on the result."

Start here: Free 7 Secrets to Social Confidence https://bit.ly/socialconfidencepodcast This short mini-course explains: • why social anxiety happens • why forcing exposure often backfires • how the fight-flight-freeze response creates anxiety symptoms • how tapping can help release the emotions and beliefs that trigger anxiety It's designed to help you understand what's actually driving social anxiety and give you a first experience with the tapping approach.

Do you want deeper connection, but still hold back because getting hurt feels too risky? You are not alone. Social anxiety can make vulnerability feel unsafe, especially in relationships.

In this episode I talk with Dr. David Lake, psychotherapist and relationship expert, about why vulnerability feels so difficult, why fear of being hurt blocks true intimacy, and why social anxiety often magnifies the "I'm not good enough" belief. We also explore when vulnerability is helpful, when it is not, and how authentic feedback can help you feel safer being yourself.

What you'll discover: 🔹 Why fear of being hurt blocks true intimacy 🔹 Why the "I'm not good enough" belief runs so deep 🔹 How criticism and conditional love feed self-doubt 🔹 Why vulnerability only works in the right context 🔹 Why "good enough" is healthier than trying to be perfect

💡 Quote from David: "It requires a lot of courage to be authentic and be your true self with another person."

Start here: Free 7 Secrets to Social Confidence https://bit.ly/socialconfidencepodcast This short mini-course explains: • why social anxiety happens • why forcing exposure often backfires • how the fight-flight-freeze response creates anxiety symptoms • how tapping can help release the emotions and beliefs that trigger anxiety It's designed to help you understand what's actually driving social anxiety and give you a first experience with the tapping approach.

Do you ever know a situation is safe, but your body still reacts like it is not? You are not imagining it. Social anxiety often goes deeper than logic.

In this episode I talk with Gwyneth Moss about why social anxiety does not always respond to visualizations, thought work, or trying to push through it. We explore why your thinking mind and your deeper fear response can go in opposite directions, and how EFT can help the part of you that still feels unsafe begin to calm down.

What you'll discover: 🔹 Why logic alone often does not resolve social anxiety 🔹 Why your body can still react even when you know you are safe 🔹 What Gwyneth means by your "inner animal" 🔹 How EFT helps calm the part of you that feels unsafe 🔹 Why trying it works better than arguing about it

💡 Quote from Gwyneth: "With social anxiety your animal brain is going, 'it's not safe, it's not safe,' and your thinking brain is trying to go, 'yes it is, it's ok,' but there is no trust and the two are going in opposite directions."

Start here: Free 7 Secrets to Social Confidence https://bit.ly/socialconfidencepodcast This short mini-course explains: • why social anxiety happens • why forcing exposure often backfires • how the fight-flight-freeze response creates anxiety symptoms • how tapping can help release the emotions and beliefs that trigger anxiety It's designed to help you understand what's actually driving social anxiety and give you a first experience with the tapping approach.

Do certain situations still trigger fear, shame, or panic even when you know you should be fine? You are not broken. Old trauma can keep social anxiety active for years.

In this episode I talk with Rehana Webster, EFT founding master and creator of the Trauma Buster Technique, about childhood trauma, severe trauma, and how one core incident can keep anxiety patterns going. We explore how tapping can help reduce the body's stress response, why getting to the root trauma matters, and what can change when the real issue is finally addressed.

What you'll discover: 🔹 Why unresolved trauma keeps getting triggered in social situations 🔹 How to find the core incident behind a fear pattern 🔹 How tapping can reduce the emotional intensity 🔹 Why working around the problem can keep you stuck 🔹 What becomes possible when the root issue is resolved

💡 Quote from Rehana: "The only pain you experience is thinking about what the trauma is."

Start here: Free 7 Secrets to Social Confidence https://bit.ly/socialconfidencepodcast This short mini-course explains: • why social anxiety happens • why forcing exposure often backfires • how the fight-flight-freeze response creates anxiety symptoms • how tapping can help release the emotions and beliefs that trigger anxiety It's designed to help you understand what's actually driving social anxiety and give you a first experience with the tapping approach. --------------------------------------------------

About Seb

Seb struggled with severe social anxiety himself for many years. Since 2009 he has helped people work through social anxiety using a calm, structured approach that combines psychology with EFT tapping. No forced exposure. No pressure to perform. No "just push yourself" advice. -------------------------------------------------- Scientific research on EFT tapping https://eftuniverse.com/research-studies/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36438382/ https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1195286/full

Do you feel confident in some situations… but suddenly freeze in others?

Like you're fine one-on-one, but put you in a group, around someone you like or in a specific setting… and everything changes?

In this episode, I'll show you why that happens, and what's really going on beneath it.

It's not random. And it's not because something is wrong with you.

You'll learn how certain situations activate old emotional patterns, and how to start working through them in a way that actually feels manageable.

Start here: Free 7 Secrets to Social Confidencehttps://bit.ly/socialconfidencenow This short mini-course explains:• why social anxiety happens • why forcing exposure often backfires • how the fight-flight-freeze response creates anxiety symptoms • how tapping can help release the emotions and beliefs that trigger anxiety It's designed to help you understand what's actually driving social anxiety and give you a first experience with the tapping approach. -------------------------------------------------- If you'd like practical tools you can start using right away: Fast Social Anxiety Reliefhttps://www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/fast-social-anxiety-relief/ --------------------------------------------------

About Seb

Seb struggled with severe social anxiety himself for many years. Since 2009 he has helped people work through social anxiety using a calm, structured approach that combines psychology with EFT tapping. No forced exposure.No pressure to perform. No "just push yourself" advice. -------------------------------------------------- Scientific research on EFT tapping https://eftuniverse.com/research-studies/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36438382/ https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1195286/full

Do you still feel insecure, awkward, or self-conscious in social situations, even though you're no longer that teenager?

In this episode, Sebastiaan explains how social anxiety can be tied to identities formed during puberty, like feeling like the outsider, the weak one, or the one who doesn't fit in.

Start here: Free 7 Secrets to Social Confidencehttps://bit.ly/socialconfidencenow This short mini-course explains:• why social anxiety happens • why forcing exposure often backfires • how the fight-flight-freeze response creates anxiety symptoms • how tapping can help release the emotions and beliefs that trigger anxiety It's designed to help you understand what's actually driving social anxiety and give you a first experience with the tapping approach. -------------------------------------------------- If you'd like practical tools you can start using right away: Fast Social Anxiety Reliefhttps://www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/fast-social-anxiety-relief/ --------------------------------------------------

About Seb

Seb struggled with severe social anxiety himself for many years. Since 2009 he has helped people work through social anxiety using a calm, structured approach that combines psychology with EFT tapping. No forced exposure.No pressure to perform. No "just push yourself" advice. -------------------------------------------------- Scientific research on EFT tapping https://eftuniverse.com/research-studies/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36438382/ https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1195286/full

In this episode, you'll hear a Club member, Tapani, describe:

• Panic attacks fading • Baseline anxiety dropping from a nine to a three • Triggers losing their grip • Overthinking decreasing • Feeling more like themselves again

These weren't dramatic breakthroughs.

They were small shifts, repeated week after week.

Social anxiety doesn't disappear overnight. It gradually loses intensity and stays gone longer.

If you're wondering whether change like this is possible for you, this episode gives you a grounded picture of what that path actually looks like.

Start with our free 7 Secrets To Social Confidence here

Four years ago, I interviewed Tapani after he had already made significant progress with his social anxiety. His lifelong blushing had reduced dramatically. Life was opening up in ways that once felt impossible.

Recently, he shared in our community that the last time he felt more than a little anxious was months ago. His anxiety barely bothers him anymore. And he described learning not just how to deal with social anxiety, but how to approach life differently.

That made me curious.

So we recorded this follow-up conversation to explore what actually holds up over time.

What does long-term change from social anxiety really feel like?

Not dramatic confidence. Not becoming a different personality. Not turning into the most charismatic person in the room.

Instead:

• Anxiety dropping from an 8 or 9 to mild physical tension • Blushing no longer dominating daily life • Social situations feeling ordinary again • Strangers no longer registering as threats • Relief that continues to deepen quietly

If you've ever wondered:

"Does this actually last?" "What if I improve… and then it fades?" "Is this realistic for someone like me?"

This episode is for you.

We talk about:

• Fear of blushing and reputation anxiety • Anticipatory anxiety and how it changes • Why pushing anxiety away makes it worse • Acceptance and nervous system regulation • Why progress compounds gradually • What "feeling normal" really means

This isn't a story about instant transformation.

It's an honest look at how social anxiety can loosen its grip over time, and what life feels like when your system gradually updates instead of being forced.

If you're considering whether this path might fit you, you'll find more details here.

Take your time. Move when it feels right.