Today we have Lisa. She is from Brisbane, Australia and took her last drink on February 24th, 2022.

Sponsors for this episode include:

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If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. With 24/7 access to a like-minded community committed to living alcohol-free, you’ll never feel alone on this journey. 

[02:35] Thoughts from Paul:

Healing from alcohol addiction is more about restoring the original circuitry we arrived on the planet with, opposed to learning anything new. You already have everything you need to quit drinking. There is nothing wrong with you, we simply need to remove the layers of muck, grime, false stories and incorrect paradigms that we have accumulated over the years of living in a toxic culture.

As you clean up your inner mess, you’re also laying the foundation for others to begin their healing process. When you heal, others around you heal.

[07:27] Paul introduces Lisa:

Lisa is 45 years old and lives in Brisbane, Australia. She runs a residential rehab for women. For fun, Lisa enjoys CrossFit and the community that comes with it. She has a 21-year-old son.

Lisa first tried alcohol when she was 17. It was an issue from the first time she picked it up. Once she got the feeling in her system, she just kept going. This continued until she was pregnant with her son who was born when she was 24 years old.

When her son was 13 months old, Lisa became a single mom and wanted to find herself again as he started to get older. With her mom helping her with her son, she was able to start going out to meet people and says the only way she knew how to do that was with alcohol involved. Lisa says she thought to be sociable, you had to drink.

There were times when Lisa was able to abstain for extended periods while focusing on her son and fitness, but she always went back to it. She found herself using drinks as a reward to get through the weekdays and then would binge drink on the weekends. This cost her multiple jobs in the fitness and nutrition world. Lisa found herself blaming everything but herself or her drinking.

Lisa had been working on getting sober for quite a while but had always been trying to do it for other people or jobs. A few years before her sobriety date, she had a revelation that she had to quit drinking for herself. She was able to go 500 days from that point and says she wasn’t doing the work suggested to her and ended up drinking again.

At this point she was adding other substances to her drinking. A weekend camping trip in November 2021 ended badly for Lisa and after her partner picked her up, she shared that she didn’t want to live anymore. The fact that she felt that way scared her.

When her son questioned her about going to rehab, Lisa told her she couldn’t because she had so many other obligations. The drinking continued and she would start going to lengths to try and conceal it. After a weekend away with her son, she found herself on a balcony consumed with suicidal thoughts. It was then that she called a rehab to try and get help. Within a few days, she travelled 8 hours south to start rehab.

Lisa says her connection to herself is now authentic. She no longer looks to others or external things to make her happy. Lisa feels free and can now be grateful for her addiction because of where it has led her. She knows she has to put herself and her recovery first which was hard in the beginning. And now after three years, she still makes sure to attend meetings and do what needs to be done to stay sober every day.

Lisa’s parting piece of guidance: just put it down one day at a time. And if it takes one minute at a time, one hour at a time, whatever it is that you need to do to get off the booze, there is a better life out there for you.

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Today we have Charlie. She is 32 years old from London, UK. She took her last drink on December 28th, 2024.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

In October of this year, we are going to Peru!  There are still spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. Registration closes June 2nd which is the deadline for Inca trail tickets.

[02:50] Thoughts from Paul:

According to NCS solutions, who poll people about their drinking, the number of people who want to cut back on their drinking increases every year.

In 2025, 36% more people participated in Dry January than in 2024. A good reason why the numbers are increasing is reflected in a poem Paul shares called Memories of Alcohol by an unknown author.

So much of the work we do is reframing how we view alcohol. Subconsciously it is still deeply ingrained in our culture that drinking enhances our lives, but we have all learned that it doesn’t. Once the voice in our head starts telling us that a drink would be nice or we deserve a drink we can start giving it some tough love and tell it that no, a drink would not be nice and please give me some better ideas.

[05:09] Paul introduces Charlie:

Charlie is a software engineer from London and will be getting married in April. For fun, Charlie has rediscovered that she enjoys skiing, running and swimming.

Growing up, Charlie witnessed both parents struggle with divorce and use of alcohol and medications.  She started drinking when she was around 14. Charlie says everyone around her drank and seemed to be having a good time, so she joined in without thinking twice.

Around her mid-twenties, Charlie started to have a subtle undercurrent of doubt in her mind and a quiet voice suggesting that maybe she wasn’t the best version of herself anymore. Since she never had what others would consider a problem, she didn’t think her drinking was an issue.

Charlie began to find things weren’t going wrong for her, but they weren’t necessarily going right either. She felt stagnated. In an effort to try and make changes to this she removed alcohol from time to time and began to connect the dots between her stagnation and the alcohol use.

Charlies says she tried moderation, but it was exhausting. Her all-or-nothing mentality made it difficult. She also shares that she has had multiple stints of around 100 days without alcohol because she learned that was a good amount of time to feel many of the positive effects of quitting.

This time feels different for Charlie because she has leaned into the sobriety community a bit more. She has been listening to podcasts and reading books and learned that the key to maintaining sobriety is to find community. Since there are more people around her encouraging her and sharing insights, Charlie feels this time is indefinite as opposed to the other times when she had a finish line of sorts.

Charlies says since quitting drinking her positivity has returned and she is feeling like the younger version of herself now. She shares that it’s amazing how much you can fit into a day when half of it isn’t taken up by drinking or recovering from it.

Charlie’s parting piece of guidance: if you’ve never quit drinking before, what’s that worst that can happen?

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Today we have Robbie. He is 43 and lives in Moses Lake, WA. He took his last drink on August 15th, 2024

Sponsors for this episode include:

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3,649 days ago, or 1 day shy of ten years, the first episode of the Recovery Elevator podcast dropped. Paul remembers the date well because for three months after the first episode released, he kept thinking “oh my God, what have I done?”. Burning the ships in podcast format gave Paul a lot of anxiety, but here we are, 523 weeks later and thank you listeners, for keeping the show alive.

30 Best Sobriety Podcasts

[04:13] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares the definition and his thoughts around the term gray area drinking. The definition states that it is the space between end-stage drinking and every now and again drinking. Gray area drinking could also be classified as someone who can stop drinking without medical detox or can stop on their own before someone stages an intervention.

Paul believes it’s all gray area drinking. Be it one beer a month or 10 beers a night. One common thread he hears on this podcast is “and then xyz happened”. It’s these major life events that can ramp up the drinking and everyone has life happen to them.

[07:10] Paul introduces Robbie:

Robbie is 43 years old and lives in Moses Lake, WA. He currently works at a chemical plant in the semiconductor industry. He has five children in the age range of eight months to 14. They enjoy spending time outdoors and at the lake near their home. Robbie is a big sports fan and played sports often while growing up.

Robbie took his first drink when he was in college in his 20s. He didn’t drink much until he lost his dad in 2013.  Without knowing how to process his grief and having young children, Robbie learned that drinking helped him be numb and he started drinking four or five days a week. At the time, Robbie was working as a corrections officer, which was a very stressful job that contributed to his drinking as well.

In 2018 Robbie’s marriage ended. This was the first time he had been away from his children. He moved two hours away from them to stay at his mom’s house. After his second DUI in two weeks, the judge imposed alcohol monitoring for Robbie. This helped him stay sober for a year but only because he had to be.

Thinking he could now moderate, Robbie started drinking soon after no longer having the monitoring device. He says he wasn’t having a good time, and he was just using it to numb out from multiple traumas.

In February 2024 Robbie reached a breaking point and reach out to his brother-in-law who helped him find a treatment center in Utah. Robbie was there for 35 days and felt like he had made a lot of progress. He learned a lot about himself and started doing counseling. Robbie finally got some help dealing with some big traumas throughout his life. He says he feels like he used alcohol to punish himself thinking he deserved to be miserable.

After a brief relapse, Robbie says he woke up on August 15th and just knew it was over, and he had to stop drinking for good. He decided to try naltrexone which he first learned about in rehab. He took it for the first month and says he still has no desire to drink. Robbie goes to AA meetings, listens to podcasts and audiobooks, and is a member of Café RE. Robbie stays accountable with his family and friends at work. People have noticed a positive change in him.

In the past Robbie quit drinking because he was forced to, or for other people. He said on August 15th; he was doing it for himself. He says sobriety is the greatest gift to himself and his kids.

Robbie’s parting piece of guidance: If you’re asking yourself if you drink too much or if it’s becoming a problem, it already is. Listen to your gut. Believe in yourself that you can quit.

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Today we have Jeremy. He is 43 years old and lives in Portland, Maine. He took his last drink on January 23rd, 2019.

Sponsors for this episode include:

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Recovery Elevator is going back to Peru in October 2025. On this 10-night, 11-day trip of a lifetime, we will be hiking the Inca Trail and participating in two service projects. Registration has been open for two weeks and we have about five or six spots left.

[01:40] Thoughts from Paul:

About three weeks ago, we had a gentleman named Nate share his story for one of our dry January sessions. He mentioned that just before he quit drinking, his spouse poured out a bottle of Jameson Irish whiskey onto their lawn. The whiskey killed a circular patch of grass, making it an area where conditions were no longer suitable for growth, and Nate eventually had to replace the entire section of grass.

Today's episode is titled "Would a Drink Help?". This phrase is often depicted in movies, TV, and other media after a long day or stressful event. For those of us who find it difficult to have just one, a drink will never help. It’s not the fifth or the 10th drink that gets you into trouble, it’s always the first. Because it leads you to have the fifth or 10th drink which will leave a dead ring of grass inside us.

Unlike grass, our brains and bodies can heal from the poison. So, in answer to the question of “would a drink help?” the answer is always no, and it will always leave you in a worse position. We wouldn’t ask this question about any other substance either.

It takes time before the neurons in the brain that a drink can help stop firing together so go easy on yourself.

[07:11] Paul introduces Jeremy:

Jeremy is 43, married with no kids and works in tech consulting. They have an English bulldog and for fun, Jeremy enjoys snowboarding, hiking, and music. He is also a house music DJ and plays multiple instruments.

Jeremy first began to recognize that his drinking was an issue for him in his twenties. He began drinking in his teens and used alcohol to help him escape feelings around an assault that happened when he was 15. Since Jeremy didn’t participate in team sports in school, he spent time with people that did other things like drink and do drugs.

After taking a six-month break from drinking when he was 22, Jeremy thought he was fine since he was able to quit for a period of time. He moved to Boston, made some friends there and began grad school. He shares that his drinking didn’t look out of control but as he approached his 30s, he realized that his friends were starting to slow down, have families and he was still wanting to spend time in bars. Over time his drinking was creating issues with his wife, and he was starting to feel unhappy both when he was drinking and when he was not. Things looked ok on the outside, but inside they were breaking down. The blackouts were becoming a major issue for him, and he couldn’t see a way out.

In 2018, Jeremy and his wife had a fight and that’s when he broke down and told her he was struggling. He started reading books about quitting but was still struggling after a few weeks. A note from his wife was a catalyst to seek help from therapy and he discovered SMART Recovery. He kept going back and made connections with others in the meetings.

Jeremy shares how there are so many ways to get sober now and that you don’t have to hit rock bottom to quit drinking. He says you have to get over the fear and just focus on the day in front of you. Since quitting drinking Jeremy says he has learned that he doesn’t need alcohol to feel comfortable anymore. He is comfortable with who he is now and with therapy has helped learn to love himself and forgive himself for the past.

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You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

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Today we have Dave. He is 69 years old from Beaver Creek, CO. He took his last drink in September 17th, 2024.

Sponsors for this episode include:

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If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. Come join the party!

Tonight begins our first ever AF Songwriting Course starting at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.

[02:40] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares an article from the San Francisco Chronicle regarding the tanking sales of red wine in San Francisco restaurants. All alcohol sales were down but mocktail sales were up.

Many people share that it’s tough to quit drinking where they live. Paul discovered a statistic from the CDC that says where he lives in Gallatin County, Montana is listed as the drunkest of all 3,244 counties in America.

In the state of Montana, they place a white cross on the road where traffic fatalities occur in hopes of reminding drivers to take caution and slow down. 66% of these white crosses are alcohol related.

There is no judgement towards those that are still binge drinking. At Recovery Elevator, we are not better than anyone, we have just chosen a different path. If you feel called to walk this pathway with us, we’d love to have you.

[10:01] Paul introduces Dave:

Dave lives in Beaver Creek, CO with his dog Tango. He is very active in the AA community in his area and cherishes the connections he has made there. He enjoys skiing, biking, and traveling. He has three kids and recently became a grandfather. Dave is currently seeking his master’s degree in clinical counseling.

Alcohol was present in Dave’s life growing up as his parents drank socially. He drank socially as well throughout high school and college. He drinking didn’t become problematic until later. Dave shares that his alcohol use disorder stemmed from his chronic childhood emotional trauma. Alcohol later became the solution to dealing with unwanted emotions.

In 2016 after raising his kids independently and a relationship had ended, Dave started to use drinking to deal with some voids in his life. He had a successful commercial real estate business but didn’t have many local friends at the time.

Dave went to rehab in 2017 after having two DUIs in December of 2016. He was able to stay sober until 2021 and says again it was emotional overwhelm that sparked more field research. He found help in a psychologist who was a clinical director of a rehab facility. He was able to get sober again in July of 2021.

A reunion in September of 2024 found Dave having beers with friends thinking he would just have a few and would be fine. Dave had more the next day and realized that if he didn’t clear the rest of the alcohol out at the end of the day, he would continue to drink. Dave credits his tools and connection in AA to being able to get sober once again.

Dave is huge on connection. Both connections with people and connections with a higher power. He enjoys going to meetings and being of service to others in the community. Dave says one of the greatest gifts of sobriety for him is giving up control of outcomes. He chooses to deal with emotional overwhelm is awareness and since he no longer has alcohol in his system it is easier for him to be aware of what is happening. Dave is a big believer in journaling because of the connection from the hand to the head. When he puts his feelings on paper, he can see rational versus irrational thoughts.

Dave’s parting piece of guidance: stay with your feelings, journal about them.

Dave is looking for internship that involves 200 hours of direct engagement of one-on-one counseling with or without supervision. If you can help, reach out to [email protected].

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up.

You can do this.

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Today we have Kathy. She is 57 years old from Phoenix, AZ. She took her last drink on October 21st, 2024.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

Registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens today, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we’re doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.

Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.

[02:43] Thoughts from Paul:

At the end of last week's episode, I discussed how certain chapters in our lives might be closing, particularly those involving drinking and all the associated antics. As Yung Pueblo poetically expressed, endings are a natural part of life. The universe thrives on cycles, where every beginning anticipates an eventual end. Embrace this closure, grieve it, if necessary, write a farewell letter and consign it to the flames if it helps. But remember, alongside the end of the partying comes the end of hangovers, bloating, puffy eyes, heartburn, and a myriad of other unpleasant side effects.

Let yourself mourn the end of this chapter. For me, the cessation of drinking heralded a new beginning in September 2014. Let's explore what awaits after setting the bottle aside—a life free from elevated liver enzymes.

Five months ago, I asked our Instagram followers to describe sobriety in three words. The prevailing themes were peace, energy, and presence. I can't predict your future, but I can assure you that whatever it holds, you'll face it with more vitality, tranquility, and mindfulness. This journey is far from solitary, as more Americans are reducing their alcohol intake.

So, as one party ends, another begins, brimming with the promise of a healthier, more vibrant life.

[06:09] Paul introduces Kathy:

Kathy is 57 years old, is divorced and lives in Phoenix, AZ with her husky mix named Mario. She works in big data analytics. For fun, Kathy enjoys walking her dog, hiking, riding a mountain bike, kayak and read. She enjoys memoirs, thrillers and enjoys Quit Lit.

Kathy says her drinking was in the moderate category for many years. In her forties she became part of a friend group that enjoyed drinking and spending time on the lake together. Kathy was comfortable letting her hair down and didn’t have any fears of becoming an alcoholic.

Kathy did begin to question her drinking after it started noticeably affecting her sleep and how she felt the next day. She explored some Quit Lit and since her drinking didn’t look like the author’s, Kathy decided it wasn’t bad enough to stop completely but would try to cut back a bit and skip days here and there.

When Kathy was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer, the doctors put her on pills she couldn’t drink with. It was a relief to her to have to stop, but was surprised how little support others would have for her not drinking. After her oncologist told her she could drink a little, she started drinking again. A constant cycle of ramping up and ramping down began.

After some issues with her white blood count, Kathy had to quit for three weeks awaiting a blood test. She decided to join Café RE for support to quit drinking. Kathy really identifies with gray area drinking and has found stories from other people helpful in continuing her pursuit of quitting drinking. She prefers her life without alcohol and hopes to continue. She says her sleep has improved and she looks forward to lifting weight again, traveling and being cancer-free.

Kathy’s parting piece of guidance: if you’re questioning it, just start talking to sober people, join Café RE, seek out more podcasts, whatever.

Recovery Elevator

Alcohol is shit and we both know it.

I love you guys.

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Today we have Nick. He is 41 and lives in Richfield, MN. He took his last drink on November 8th, 2023.

In one week, registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we’re doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.

Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

[03:19] Thoughts from Paul:

Imagine if aliens were cruising the universe and made a stop on planet Earth and they saw human beings drinking a substance that appeared to be damaging their lives.

But first, this is revealing of the power of the unconscious mind, or the paradigms in our society. If you take crack, cocaine, heroin and meth and right off the bat it’s like, yeah, that will fuck your life up. But with alcohol, which has the data to show it’s the most dangerous drug on the planet, it’s flipped. Thankfully the correct messaging is starting to come out, but we have a way to go still.

Paul shares what he imagines would be the conversation between aliens and humans as they begin to ask questions about why we humans are consuming a toxic substance that has no health benefits and leaves them incapacitated the next morning.

[08:24] Paul introduces Nick:

Nick is married with three young children. He says he is a pop culture aficionado. He enjoys hunting, fishing, camping and spending time at their cabin a few hours away. Nick is big into fitness as well.

Being around alcohol was a normal thing for Nick growing up. He drank some in high school but hit the ground running in college with all the typical vices. He says he never had any major consequences and did well in school. The “work hard, play hard” mentality ran strong even after college.

Nick met his wife on a flight and soon after they began a long-distance relationship. Around this time Nick says his drinking was causing some negative behavior and people were noticing. A comment from his dad had Nick feeling some embarrassment so he started trying to moderate his drinking by limiting his consumption while socializing but drinking more at home alone.

After attempting to moderate with the use of an app, Nick found himself drinking more in secret. He and his wife would have conversations about it, but he wasn’t ready to quit. Nick was hiding bottles of alcohol throughout the house and drinking daily and going out less, so it wasn’t as obvious to others that he had an issue. It was a constant battle in his mind.

One afternoon, Nick drove with his wife to pick up their daughter from preschool. When he came out of the school, his wife had taken the driver’s seat. He had driven to the school drunk, and she decided enough was enough. She took them to the police station and had him arrested. When he came by the house the next day he expected her to kick him out but instead she hugged him and shared she just wanted him to get better.

Nick was able to stay sober for three months, but wasn’t doing it for himself so it didn’t stick. His drinking ended up worse than ever after that until he finally hit rock bottom. He wasn’t doing well physically or mentally at this point. He woke one morning and decided to go to treatment that week.

Nick threw himself into treatment and experimented with several modalities. In the past he was resistant to AA but now embraces it as an abundant resource and enjoys the community. Nick’s health has greatly improved, and he has been able to get off of all medications in addition to ditching the booze. Fitness is his medicine now, Nick says.

Nick’s parting piece of guidance: You can do it. Do it for yourself, don’t do it for someone else.

Recovery Elevator

Alcohol is shit and we both know it.

I love you guys.

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Episode 518 – Your Idea of Good Evolves

Today we have Ashley. She’s 25 years old from Spokane, WA and took her last drink on September 22nd, 2024.

Sponsor for this episode:

Better Help – 10% off your first month

This February, we are doing our first ever alcohol-free singer-songwriter course. In this six-week course you’re going to connect with other sober musicians. You’re going to improve your songwriting skills and hear from professional musicians. We will all write our own songs which we will share in the last week.

Registration is open for Recovery Elevator’s first ever Men’s Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica.

[03:17] Thoughts from Paul:

Quoting Yung Pueblo, “Maturity is knowing that endings are a part of life. Jobs change, who you hang out with changes. Your idea of what is ‘good’ evolves. An ending is a sign that you’re opening a new chapter.”

There’s a saying in this space that we stop maturing when our drinking becomes problematic. When alcohol begins to take over every aspect in our lives, our maturation is halted. Our idea of what is good evolves, but it doesn’t evolve when we keep labeling booze as a good time.

Start using your brain to build your alcohol-free life in your mind. Eventually the universe will line up to make this happen, in fact, it’s already happening. Think about the podcast you are listening to and how you got here. You’re probably way further down this journey than you think.

[07:30] Paul introduces Ashley:

Ashley lives in Spokane, WA and works for a cleaning business. She enjoys crafting and journaling. Right now she is working on a scrapbook that looks like a Vision Board for 2025.

Ashley says she didn’t really drink until college. When COVID shut everything down in 2020, Ashley was a junior in college and had just turned 21. She was living alone in a studio apartment and got to drink the way that she wanted to drink. When she noticed her drinking ramp up, she started to cut it back a bit.

After the shutdown was lifted, Ashley started bartending and didn’t want to drink much on the job. That shifted a bit when she changed jobs and was working at a brewery where she and other coworkers would take drinking breaks while on their shift. Over time she recognized she was drinking too much and tried to moderate at least at work.

Ashley began to recognize that she didn’t like that she was becoming very cynical while at this job. She talked to her partner about it, and he encouraged her to leave the job since it was affecting her so negatively. Ashley took the time off after quitting to do whatever she wanted and saw her drinking increase. She would hide her bottles so her partner wouldn’t see how much she was actually drinking.

On the day of her last drink, Ashley and her partner had gone out and bar hopped. Ashley ended up blacking out and when she woke up, her partner was gone. She could not remember most of the night before and wasn’t sure  what was going to happen next but knew she could no longer drink.

Ashley says the first two days were full of anxiety, but she just focused on one day at a time. She distracted herself with movies and video games. At therapy that week, she shared where she was with alcohol for the first time. Her therapist recommended the I Am Sober app which Ashley found very helpful. The cravings have decreased over the last few months and when they do happen, she plays the tape forward. Since quitting Ashley says her depression and anxiety has reduced dramatically. She has more energy, and her routines have become more consistent. Ashley is happy to find she can still socialize even without alcohol.

Ashley’s parting piece of guidance: it is important for you to look inside yourself and see if it’s actually something you want to do or if you’re afraid to do it, maybe look into why you’re afraid to do it.

Recovery Elevator

Rule 22, let’s lighten up, not take ourselves too seriously.

I love you guys. We can do this.

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Episode 518 – Your Idea of Good Evolves

Today we have Ashley. She’s 25 years old from Spokane, WA and took her last drink on September 22nd, 2024.

Sponsor for this episode:

Better Help – 10% off your first month

This February, we are doing our first ever alcohol-free singer-songwriter course. In this six-week course you’re going to connect with other sober musicians. You’re going to improve your songwriting skills and hear from professional musicians. We will all write our own songs which we will share in the last week.

Registration is open for Recovery Elevator’s first ever Men’s Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica.

[03:17] Thoughts from Paul:

Quoting Yung Pueblo, “Maturity is knowing that endings are a part of life. Jobs change, who you hang out with changes. Your idea of what is ‘good’ evolves. An ending is a sign that you’re opening a new chapter.”

There’s a saying in this space that we stop maturing when our drinking becomes problematic. When alcohol begins to take over every aspect in our lives, our maturation is halted. Our idea of what is good evolves, but it doesn’t evolve when we keep labeling booze as a good time.

Start using your brain to build your alcohol-free life in your mind. Eventually the universe will line up to make this happen, in fact, it’s already happening. Think about the podcast you are listening to and how you got here. You’re probably way further down this journey than you think.

[07:30] Paul introduces Ashley:

Ashley lives in Spokane, WA and works for a cleaning business. She enjoys crafting and journaling. Right now she is working on a scrapbook that looks like a Vision Board for 2025.

Ashley says she didn’t really drink until college. When COVID shut everything down in 2020, Ashley was a junior in college and had just turned 21. She was living alone in a studio apartment and got to drink the way that she wanted to drink. When she noticed her drinking ramp up, she started to cut it back a bit.

After the shutdown was lifted, Ashley started bartending and didn’t want to drink much on the job. That shifted a bit when she changed jobs and was working at a brewery where she and other coworkers would take drinking breaks while on their shift. Over time she recognized she was drinking too much and tried to moderate at least at work.

Ashley began to recognize that she didn’t like that she was becoming very cynical while at this job. She talked to her partner about it, and he encouraged her to leave the job since it was affecting her so negatively. Ashley took the time off after quitting to do whatever she wanted and saw her drinking increase. She would hide her bottles so her partner wouldn’t see how much she was actually drinking.

On the day of her last drink, Ashley and her partner had gone out and bar hopped. Ashley ended up blacking out and when she woke up, her partner was gone. She could not remember most of the night before and wasn’t sure  what was going to happen next but knew she could no longer drink.

Ashley says the first two days were full of anxiety, but she just focused on one day at a time. She distracted herself with movies and video games. At therapy that week, she shared where she was with alcohol for the first time. Her therapist recommended the I Am Sober app which Ashley found very helpful. The cravings have decreased over the last few months and when they do happen, she plays the tape forward. Since quitting Ashley says her depression and anxiety has reduced dramatically. She has more energy, and her routines have become more consistent. Ashley is happy to find she can still socialize even without alcohol.

Ashley’s parting piece of guidance: it is important for you to look inside yourself and see if it’s actually something you want to do or if you’re afraid to do it, maybe look into why you’re afraid to do it.

Recovery Elevator

Rule 22, let’s lighten up, not take ourselves too seriously.

I love you guys. We can do this.

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Episode 517 – Protect Your Sobriety Like it’s Your Kid

Today we have Cindy. She is 36 years old, lives in Los Angeles, CA and took her last drink on December 31st, 2023.

Sponsor for this episode:

Better Help – 10% off your first month

Café RE is THE social app for sober people. If you are struggling to meet people who no longer drink alcohol, then this community app is for you. Yes, it is mostly online, but we’ve got a bunch of in-person meetups on the calendar.

This February, we are doing our first ever alcohol-free singer-songwriter course. In this six-week course you’re going to connect with other sober musicians. You’re going to improve your songwriting skills and hear from professional musicians. We will all write our own songs which we will share in the last week.

[03:11 Thoughts from Paul:

A member of Café RE shared that their therapist told them to protect their own sobriety like it was one of their own children, especially in the delicate stages at the beginning. Everything good that comes your way in life will be anchored to your sobriety.

This seed, that perhaps today is tender, raw and vulnerable, can grow up to provide shade for others. This seed that you are nurturing will provide life, care and love to others in the very near future. This may seem like a lot of pressure, but here’s the cool thing: we are not worried about watering the seed tomorrow, we’re taking it one day at a time. That’s it.

Listeners, thank you for being here, together we are infinitely stronger.

[06:40] Paul introduces Cindy:

Cindy is 36 years old and lives outside the city of LA. She works in a hospital and has been with her husband for 13 years. They have a cat named Murphy.

Cindy recalls her first real experience with alcohol was when she was 14 or 15. Her friend knew someone who was visiting, and they had a hotel room. While there she drank a whole glass of vodka straight because she didn’t know how to drink. The night was a disaster, Cindy says. From that point on Cindy says she never had an off switch.

After high school Cindy started working and taking classes at a community college. She discovered the party scene, had a fake ID and knew people that could get her into clubs. When she was 20, Cindy first voiced her thoughts that she had a problem with alcohol. Her friend reassured her that they were young and that’s what young people do.

After meeting her husband, they bonded over going out to new restaurants and bars together. Cindy says her drinking calmed down a bit because she had someone to help her rein it in. The moderation attempts started at this point in time.

In 2017, Cindy fell into a deep depression. She says nothing specific triggered it, but says alcohol had a lot to do with it. One evening she called the suicide hotline just to talk to someone and came to realize it was time for some therapy. Her current therapist is the first person she told about her alcohol problem since she was 20. She says talk therapy is helpful for seeing a different perspective.

Before quitting drinking, Cindy’s schooling required her to attend different meetings. She says it was an eye-opening experience. Soon after, Cindy committed to Dry January. She looks back at the first 30 days and uses it as motivation to keep going. Her advice to people that are currently doing Dry January is to play the tape forward and consider what it might look like if they drink again.

Cindy says her anxiety has decreased and she has learned to be kinder to herself. She tries to just take one task at a time and ask, “what things do I need to take care of today?” Focusing on the present moment and meditation has helped her a lot in addition to therapy and time at the beach.

Cindy’s parting piece of guidance: if you have an inkling that anything is an issue, listen to that voice – your gut instinct is telling you something.

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We took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.

I love you guys.

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Episode 516 – The Source of Pain

Today we have Hattie. She is 34 years old from South London, UK, and she took her last drink on April 25th, 2021.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off your first month

Sober Link - get a promo code for $50 off of the device.

Registration is open for Recovery Elevator’s first ever Men’s Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica. We’ve got space for 12 guys.

Café RE is THE social app for sober people. If you are struggling to meet people who no longer drink alcohol, then this community app is for you. Yes, it is mostly online, but we’ve got a bunch of in-person meetups on the calendar.

[03:57] Thoughts from Paul:

Ask the Magic 8 Ball “is alcohol the primary source of my pain?” and the responses will be “it is certain” “it is decidedly so” “without a doubt” and “yes, definitely”.

Of course, alcohol is causing the pain. It’s the most destructive and addictive substance on the planet and for some strange reason it’s still in our face daily with advertising everywhere.

You want to start viewing alcohol similarly to how you would look at a moldy, half-eaten hoagie sandwich on a park bench: you wouldn’t touch that sandwich, let alone eat it. The tricky part is that our addiction lies to us in our own voice and do it’s best to convince you that alcohol is the source of relief rather than pain. Which it can be at first, but inevitably that doesn’t last long.

But your life is not over when you quit drinking. A better chapter is just beginning.

[09:24] Paul introduces Hattie:

Hattie grew up in a place called New Forest where there are wild ponies and pigs. She now lives in London with her husband and two young children. Hattie works in sustainability and also has set up Sober Happy Free on Instagram and TikTok sharing her story around sobriety.

Hattie says she took her first drink at 14. Her alcohol seeking behavior began quickly thereafter. She says alcohol helped her with confidence and feeling comfortable with herself. Drinking was more of a need than a want, she says. She says at this age it was easy to consider the drinking normal but knew that drinking alone or secretly would be a problem.

When Hattie was around 26, she was introduced to cocaine which allowed her to drink more and drink longer. Hattie says she did not have any authentic connections with people at this time. There was not a corner of her life that alcohol didn’t touch.

Even once getting pregnant, which she and her husband were trying to do, she looked at the test and wondered “how on earth am I not going to drink?” Hattie made it through the pregnancy but was drinking as soon as she could after and says she was right back where she started.

Seeing a lot of people talking about Dry January online inspired Hattie to give it a try. She continued after the month ended, but never planned to quit entirely and was planning dates that she would allow herself to drink. Hattie got a sobriety coach and ended up not drinking for four months. The day that she decided to have a drink, she found herself on the phone with a friend who was in AA saying she couldn’t do it anymore.

Hattie joined AA and found community. She still stays involved in it now at over three years sober. She has a sponsor, and they worked through the 12 steps together. Hattie’s advice around AA is to go into it with an open mind.

For Hattie, year one was about changing her lifestyle. Year two was more about discovery as she tried new hobbies and experiences. Hattie says year three has been about giving back to the community by way of chairing meetings and starting her sober social media accounts. She is passionate about breaking the stigma of alcohol abuse.

Hattie’s parting piece of guidance:  If alcohol is dominating your life or playing a negative role in it, the best thing you can do is get sober.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down, you’ve gotta take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

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