Welcome back all! Today I am going to be exploring more into my new found passion of Improv comedy classes and why I am here to tell all of you, to try one out in your own hometown.

On episode 158 I delved into some deep content about facing your fears and sitting with discomfort. I directly referenced Phil and I pushing past our awkwardness and joining Improv classes. It turns out I wasn't quite done with the subject, and in fact will probably record another podcast about how to make meaningful relationships as you age, which Improv will be involved in that discussion as well. What can I say... When I am into something... I am INTO it. :)

Aside from being a fun activity to participate in, Improv has helped me personally communicate better with others, and myself.

My brain feels sharper than it has in years, and Phil and I's communication has improved A LOT. We always considered ourselves great at talking, but have realized over the years that you can be great at talking, but NOT at communicating.

We talk over one another. We blame and judge. We get defensive. We assume and project. I am sure we are not the only ones. When you are with someone for a long period of time you develop habits, and patterns. These habits became apparent to me when we started taking Improv together and began working through some practices and games. We weren't listening outside of class as well as we could have been.

Improv helped us pause and instead of waiting for our turn to speak, to really listen to what the other was saying. It also revealed long standing patterns of blame. If we were in a scene together, we instantly fell into "Well, you didn't do this." or "Why are you blaming me? You weren't there either!." Sort of scenario. Those negative emotions were easy to access as we built our pretend world for a scene. For example- A married couple at a furniture store that can't agree on a couch. Normal, right?

Let me be clear here in saying that Improv comedy classes didn't entirely solve our problems. I am not saying it is therapy or a replacement for therapy. It just offered a lovely way of actually PRACTICING how to communicate better. You learn from therapy and discover how to better communicate. You may notice your own patterns or you might read concepts from books on how to shift the way you communicate. You read it, but to actually put these good habits into practice in a fun way allows you to shine light on where they pop up and strengthen better communication muscles so that you deeply know it.

It was shortly after our Phil and I's first few classes that we began to unfold. The blame game disappeared. We were listening to one another AND then most beautiful thing happened naturally...

We were playing again. Truly playing. This past year with the death of my sister Nina has been a rough one, and I have actively been rediscovering how to play and find joy. Life is hard. It is dark, and it can sometimes be easy to stay dark. It is hard to be playful after tragedy, but man is it needed. We began being lighter and not just in class. The affects lingered on throughout the week and seeped into our days and evenings, and we could not wait until the following week to play again with our new found friends!

At least for us Improv classes are pure childlike joy. It is like camp for adults!

Wanna try it? Let's chat with a veteran on the show! I am excited to announce that I have a guest for today's show, something I haven't had in over a year and a half! Feels good to speak to another human on MOTM.

On today's episode I bring on Justin Borak. Justin is an Improv teacher and actor, and has worked in Chicago for several years performing in shows at Second City, iO, and the Annoyance. Some popular and prestigious Improv hot spots around the country.

I am so excited to chat with him about how he thinks Improv spurs creativity and playfulness, how he thinks Dungeons and Dragons blends so well with Improv Comedy, and how inclusive it is in different cities. We also discuss how diverse of a crew you get when you join a class. Age, race, all walks of life join in these classes and it is a delightful way to expand your perspective and friend group. We also walk you into your first improv class and tells you what to expect, so you don't have to be nervous.

This is me trying to break down what happens in a typical class for all those who are curious but are really scared to walk into something crazy. It is harder to write, so listen to the episode to get a better idea.

A Typical First Improv Class-

You sit in the chairs waiting for everyone to arrive. Maybe you say hi to someone, maybe you don't. The instructor introduces him/herself and they have everyone then stand in a circle and play some games.

Most of these games are typical icebreaker games. Remembering people's names, passing the red ball around, Zip, Zap, Zop. They are games that are played and learned very quickly and intended to warm you up, to allow you to get comfortable so that you soon realize you are just having fun like you used to do when you were a kid. No pressure or expectation, only fun.

After that they may explain how Improv works, you might do some quick short practices with others. One of my most favorite practices the instructor lead early on - It was myself and another classmate on stage. The instructions were that we were making a bed together, and we couldn't talk until the instructor tells us to. We start and just begin to act out making a bed. Folding sheets, fluffing pillows, etc.

The real subject of this scene isn't the bed though it is the relationship between the characters and what is going on. What is their relationship to each other. Is the body language angry, happy, sad?

I liked the exercise because when you begin Improv it is hard to find words. Silence is easier and it relaxed me. It allowed me to use my body to express how I was feeling.

On your first class you may also start to delve into something called Monologue Deconstruction. I like to think of this as basically storytelling time. The audience throws out a word. Say "Beach." and one person comes forward to tell a story that relates somehow to a beach. Trying to add in as much detail as possible. Then from this story and the details, the classmates start to create scenes.

That is about it, folks. Sound scary? It shouldn't. I have honestly found the most easy going people to be in my Improv classes. Everyone there is showing up to have a good time and learn some fun and funky new skill.

Creativity sparks because everyone is showing up for one another to build the best scene possible. It is the ultimate co-op game where everyone wins.

You ready to try it? YOU SHOULD! Better yet, bring your partner, friend or family member along with you and watch your communication start to evolve and your playfulness ignite!

 

Yoga Sailing Retreats for 2023 Registration is OPEN!!!

Thailand- April 8th to the 15th

Croatia August 26th to the 2nd

Sardinia and Corsica- Sept 2nd to the 9th. - 2 spots left!

Don't miss out on your chance to sail with me next year because I am not sure if I will be hosting sailing retreats in 2024 or 2025.

ALSO if you can't roll with me overseas this year, stay local! My friend Elizabeth Craig and I are hosting a women onlyTransformation Retreat near Pittsburgh. Sept 8-11th. Registration is now open and Early Birds Registration ends on June 30th. This retreat is for the awakening woman, and we want you with us. Choose from a 2 or 3 day retreat for your busy schedule.

This episode is sponsored by Steel City Improv.

"Steel City Improv Theater teaches and performs Long-Form improv comedy. In long-form improvisation, a group of improvisers take one suggestion from the audience and perform an entirely made-up show, complete with multiple scenes, characters, and ridiculous spectacles, bound only by its creators' imaginations.

Steel City Improv Theater (a.k.a. the SCIT), teaches Applied Improvisation. The SCIT knows that improv classes make you more than just funny.  By applying the principles of improv to your life,  you can become a better parent, mentor, entrepreneur, employee and friend.  Improv teaches you to deal with the unexpected in life. You become a better listener, more positive person, and improve your ability to truly live in the moment.

Steel City Improv Theater’s philosophy is best summed up in three words: “Listen. Commit. Play.” The SCIT combined the best practices from improv training found at New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles improv theaters into the SCIT Philosophy. Listening can be a hard skill to master, but, by staying in the moment can open up a world of possibilities. Accepting others’ ideas is difficult, but committing to our own ideas can be an even bigger challenge. With improv training, we learn to break through the inner critic that normally stops us. With a sense of play, we find an endless sense of possibility and inspiration. When our teammates have that same sense of imagination, it makes the word “failure” seem less scary and more exciting.

For a safe space to step out of your comfort zone, come listen, commit, and play at Steel City Improv Theater!"

       

Every year my husband and I do a sort of reset after the holidays. We aren't people who drink a ton. We stick with nicer wines and maybe a Negroni or two when out. Our diets are pretty good, and I usually only consume matcha or decaf espresso in limited amounts.

However, the holidays build and build upon these vices, and since we have been eating cleaner every year, when we have more than we should, our bodies feel it more. Sleep gets affected, memories of a story the night before are hazy, brain fog, bloating, and anxiety increases so slowly you don't realize how badly you feel. How much your body is telling you it needs a break.

So years ago, we started this "reset". It all began about 5-6 years ago with 30 days. Just 30 days of clean eating and no drinking. We adopted a diet plan called Whole 30. It began with no complex carbs, removal of alcohol, white sugar, flour etc. The first year was a success!

Every year after that first experience, we kept adding on days to this time period. 60, then 80. This year we aimed for 100 and honestly we felt so good we went to 150. I had a lot of questions along the way of why we choose to do this, what it felt like, and what I learned.

In this episode I will talk about Why we do this. What I gained (and lost) and also some substitutions for alcohol, sugar, and caffeine so if you wanna try this yourself, you are set up for success!

Allow me to say that I am not a doctor, and I am not here to judge anyone for their choices. This is specifically geared towards those who may be curious about trying a reset. Please ALWAYS consult your health professionals before beginning any diet or change to your diets.

Now we begin!

"Why do you do this to yourselves? It sounds so extreme!"

I get this question a lot. To be clear, Phil doesn't not give up caffeine like I do. He cuts back. I go all in. The reason I do this yearly is because I like to strip away anything in my system to get down to the nitty gritty of what my BODY really wants, and what serves it best. Not my mind, our minds get in the way. The key here is to get to your intuition and basic bodily needs.

We take breaks in life, in work, in our general daily habits. Why should we not take a break from substances that have a negative effect on our body? Seems like common sense to me.

This episode might not be for everyone, but I hope the people who are curious about taking a reset find some options! It is a hard subject to speak on, and it took me years to come out about our reset. Fear of judgement is a big thing that I am working on, and I am happy to announce moving past. Self acceptance and love really help :)

Let's first take a look at the main three things we removed from our diet, and some reasons why we removed them.

CAFFEINE

MedlinePlus states-

"Caffeine has many effects on your body's metabolism. It:

• Stimulates your central nervous system, which can make you feel more awake and give you a boost of energy
• Is a diuretic, meaning that it helps your body get rid of extra salt and water by urinating more
• Increases the release of acid in your stomach, sometimes leading to an upset stomach or heartburn
• May interfere with the absorption of calcium in the body
• Increases your blood pressure

Within one hour of eating or drinking caffeine, it reaches its peak level in your blood. You may continue to feel the effects of caffeine for four to six hours.

What are the side effects from too much caffeine?

For most people, it is not harmful to consume up to 400mg of caffeine a day. If you do eat or drink too much caffeine, it can cause health problems, such as:

• Restlessness and shakiness
• Insomnia
• Headaches
• Dizziness
• Fast heart rate
• Dehydration
• Anxiety
• Dependency, so you need to take more of it to get the same results

Some people are more sensitive to the effects of caffeine than others."

That last sentence is 100% true. I am now HIGHLY sensitive to caffeine. Part from removing it from my system and then experimenting with myself of what spikes my energy in the form of Whole Foods. I used to love matcha (I still miss it so so much), but I noticed that along side my regular grief I was feeling, when I would have a cup of matcha my stress levels and anxiety would spike.

I couldn't see the line between excitement, and anxiety anymore. My mind would race and I would feel... off. Not myself at all. My sleep would also be affected along with my belly. I would get the gurgles or an upset stomach. I can now feel even when I have a piece of chocolate the slight rush it gives me.

SUGAR

This is a no brainer, but American Culture in particularly forgets that everything we buy has sugar in it. Why is it bad for us again?

According to Healthline.com

Sugar can...

• Can Cause Weight Gain. ... 
• May Increase Your Risk of Heart Disease. ... 
• Has Been Linked to Acne. ... 
• Increases Your Risk of Type 2 Diabetes. ... 
• May Increase Your Risk of Cancer. ... 
• May Increase Your Risk of Depression. ... 
• May Accelerate the Skin Aging Process. ... 
• Can Increase Cellular Aging.

The list goes on and on. Did you know, that upon visiting a doctor for a patient's first diagnosis of cancer, one of the immediate responses from the doctor will say to eliminate sugar from their diet? Truth. I have heard it from multiple friends who have had cancer, and also experienced it with my sister. First thing they say "Eliminate sugar from your diet."

You would think, if we all knew as a nation that sugar increases your risk for these things, that companies would stop adding more sugar to our food. Yeah, no. Not to get on a soap box, but I trust ZERO front labels in a store. I always look at the back and look directly to the ingredients of sugar and oil content. I am almost always disappointed. It is everywhere and it is so not our fault that we crave it because it is single handedly the number one addictive substance on the planet. When you have it, you want more of it. Try cutting it out of your diet for three days and see your cravings just.... poof. Gone.

It is the one thing we can all agree that is bad for us, but it still exists in so much of our store bought foods. I could go on and on.

ALCOHOL-

According to Healthline, Long-term effects of frequently drinking alcohol can include:

• persistent changes in mood, including anxiety and irritability
• insomnia and other sleep concerns
• a weakened immune system, meaning you might get sick more often
• changes in libido and sexual function
• changes in appetite and weight
• problems with memory and concentration
• difficulty focusing on tasks
• increased tension and conflict in romantic and family relationships

This list isn't even touching on short term problems, or the break down of white and grey matter in our brains. There is a lot I didn't know about alcohol. I suspected, but didn't know. It is a touchy subject for so many people. For example, I bet a ton of people stopped reading this post or shut off my podcast episode right about now.

I don't blame them because I too was in their shoes. In the past when I heard a friend was giving up or taking a break from alcohol, I would instantly become defensive of my own habits. I would maybe say something like this to them. "Do you really have to give it up? Can't you just cut back? Why are you not drinking today? Aww that's no fun"

I don't blame myself now, because I realize it was-

A. The alcohol talking.

B. My own insecurities about my relationship with alcohol.

C. My fear of things that I knew were changing.

I have had multiple people say these things to me. Suddenly everyone has an opinion about it. Once again, I don't blame them because I see now how it messes with our heads.

I am a person who LOVES wine culture, loves it. Honestly, it takes a lot for me to even post about this, but I still haven't quite figured out my relationship with alcohol yet. I know it is bad for me, and I don't drink a lot of it when I am drinking, but I hate the way it makes me feel afterwards. That is the key thing here, how you feel after.

What did you substitute with?

Finding substitutes for these three things was a challenge, and honestly to try something like this... you need HELP. You need alternatives at the ready so that you set yourself up to succeed. Believe me, they are out there and they are great! There are so many resources now, and I wanted to stop and feature them here so you are armed and ready! It took me a few years to discover some of my favorites and here they are.

Sugar Substitutes- I spent the first two weeks avoiding fruit, sugar, or anything sweet at all to reset my palate and remove cravings. I then started introducing Monkfruit sweetener (it doesn't spike your blood sugar levels as much) and also some fruits minimally (blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, strawberries)

Alcohol- Hibiscus tea became my crutch. I would buy a ton of it and brew large batches of iced tea and hot tea with it. I love it's tart flavor. I then moved on to many different teas that were all herbal and not sweetened. I would use a French press to steep large batches. My tea cabinet is overflowing.

Hop Tea- I am so in love with these new non alcoholic beverages. They infuse all different hops into sparkling water and some teas. It is like drinking a beer without that malty taste and bloating afterwards. I am now addicted to them and want to learn how to make them myself. I like to combine them with some of my teas over ice with a lemon slice.

Brew Dog AF Beers- So good. I especially love the Elvis AF Grapefruit hoppy one! It is my favorite. I tricked so many people into thinking it was full of alcohol. They said they woke up the next day with no hangover and are now converts!

Ghia- An Italian inspired drink that is full of FLAVOR. Think bitter grapefruit blast. If this drink was made at a bar I would have no idea it didn't have alcohol in it. It is low sugar and addictive in the best way possible. Shout out to The Vandal Pittsburgh for having it on their menu!

Taking this moment to plug my sponsor for the show Open Road Bar Pgh where I procured a TON of my non alcoholic beverages. I love this place SO much because you can taste bunch of their products before buying them. Curious about the zero alcohol gin? They probably got it. They have SOOOO many options and I love that Pittsburgh,PA now has a place to turn to for non alcoholic drinks.

Food- While I am on the medical keto diet, Phil stuck mainly with the Whole 30 model. No complex carbs, white flour, sugar, etc. Mine was a limitation on how many carbs per day (20) Fat (80) and protein I could have (25grams)

Typical dishes included pork belly with steamed broccoli, a nice cut of steak, chicken thighs and veggies and large salads.

Quite a challenge but once you get in the groove, you don't notice much after a while. Although, peanut butter became my new evening ritual. 2 tablespoons with celery. So good.

Caffeine- As I said before, Phil would still indulge on weekends with a cup of coffee. I however would have not had a drop in 102 days. Matcha either. I tried, and I could not consume it. I would have a sliver of dark chocolate or Lily's chips sometimes.

Ground Mushrooms really helped me as a substitute in the mornings!

Activities- This is where that whole experiment it gets interesting. When we first started years ago we noticed immediately that we now had a lot of free time on our hands in the evenings. What was normally spent opening one or two bottles of wine with friends or with dinner, had shifted.

Honestly, THIS is the hardest part about giving up alcohol. You have to reassess what you do with your time. It can feel extremely restless, and can leave you with some darker thoughts because you just don't know what to do with yourself. I took it as an opportunity for Phil and I to spend some meaningful time together and learn something new!

Years ago it was salsa dancing lessons, then Italian lessons, yoga practice, and now Improv theater and drawing classes. We are so in love with those last two we will continue to do them.

What Challenges Did You Come Up Against During This Time?

Well, I already touched on the challenge of other people's attitudes towards this reset. It struck a nerve with a lot of people. Let me say that this is not for everyone. It may not be for you at all, but I know my own body and I know what is good for it. Yay! Achievement unlocked. That is one of the hardest things we as humans try to discover. Knowing what is good for our bodies and minds. We are often distracted, swayed, and full of substances to notice.

Some of the obvious challenges were the alcohol cravings to pass. This began in the first three days (It takes four for alcohol to leave your body, and not even completely). The sugar cravings were the worst to get past. Took about a week and change to not craving any sugar or have "Dessert" after a meal.

Boredom... this was a huge challenge, but allowed our creative selves to flourish!

So what were the benefits of doing this?

I could list a ton.

Night Sweats- One of the most acute side effects from drinking was that my night sweats disappeared after about two weeks. I would always soak the sheets in the middle of the night. I mean BAD. Try googling night sweats and you will find yourself starting to worry about your health. I couldn't stop it. I had a sneaky suspicion it was the glass of wine I had in the evening, but couldn't prove it.

Suspicion correct! After alcohol left my body, no more night sweats. My sheets are fine in the morning. It was my body trying to process the alcohol and eliminate it from my system.

Better Sleep- This alone should be a reason people try this. I would always find myself waking up around 3am when I would have a glass of wine or two the evening before. Now I sleep soundly through the night. No snores from either myself or Phil! That alone is worth it! :)

Mental Clarity- For the first few days I had a lingering headache and a bit of brain fog. Then it just... lifted. Went away and my mind was sharp as a tack. It keeps getting better too. My focus is laser.

Memories- I am getting flooded by memories I had forgotten dating all the way back to my childhood. It is incredible, it is like someone handing me a book I loved but reading years ago and revisiting it. Some are so unexpected.

Less Bloat, more Confidence- My clothes fit better. My face is more radiant. Eyes are clearer and so is my skin. I feel generally lighter.

Creativity- Our creative juices giving up alcohol were now activated. I found myself being scared to give up our ritual of having a glass of wine in the evening. What would we do with ourselves?! I long ago began the process of finding different activities to learn. To stretch our brains and find a new way of discovering play.

As we age we will naturally transition and the "fun" things we used to do which included binge drinking, tailgating, partying all night long, or dinner and gathering focusing on alcohol just don't hold the appeal for us anymore. Who are we now without alcohol in front of us or representing us. We found out quite a bit about ourselves, and discovered we are AWESOME without it.

We are actually more fun, more engaging. We are better friends and family to those around us because we are there for them when we show up and we are listening. We aren't there because there is a $30 bottle of wine on the table. We are finding other's with like minded interests that we know we can continue to enjoy as we age.

Where do we go from here?

This is the biggest question I get asked. What do we do now. I am on day 155 of no alcohol or sugar. I did recently have a decaf espresso and was pleased to announce that my mind was alright for that day. Small doses. Sugar I will continue to leave out of my diet as much as I possibly can. I know there will be slip ups and honestly sugar is snuck into every meal outside of our house, but I will stick to my guns.

As for my relationship with alcohol, that is exactly what it is. A relationship. I am trying to have a better one with it. I leave soon for my Yoga Sailing Retreats in Greece and Italy and I honestly... I am a bit nervous about drinking. I am trying to give myself some slack and know that before this, alcohol was diminishing in my life anyways. I know the reset is always there, and that I can return to it. If I have a glass of wine in Italy. I will make it a GREAT glass and leave it at that. End of story. If I don't drink during the trip, how great for me to be able to experience a new place without having it dimmed or numbed by alcohol.

Either way, changing my relationship with these substances is the whole point and doing this reset or challenge is a nice way to allow some perspective. I personally will become really excited when more restaurants and experiences incorporate different options for those on these restrictions. Especially alcohol. Stay tuned when I return home for a feature on restaurants in the Pittsburgh area serving ELEVATED mocktail options.

What about you? Any interest in a reset? Would love to know your experience!

Curious to try this reset? Come join my Transformational Wellness Retreat on Sept 8th-11th 2022. This ladies only retreat features hiking, yoga, meditation, group reiki, workshops and more. It is all inclusive and I myself will be available to hold a safe space for you if you are curious about cutting back or removing any of these substances from your life. Early Bird special is going on right now until June 30th. Price is discounted by $100. Refer a friend and get $50 off your retreat booking for your private room.

This episode is sponsored by Open Road Bar Pgh I truly don't know what I would do without this shop in town! I love that they have a tasting area where you can sample before you buy. Mel the owner is super knowledgeable about all the products she carries. Check them out and tell them Marta says hello! Special thank you to Liz Roberts for the rec!

"Find your new drink"

The Open Road Non-Alcoholic Bar + Bottle Shop in Pittsburgh, PA launched January 2020 as a pop-up bar and currently operates as a thriving online retail store offering local delivery, shipping elsewhere, and hosting virtual events.  Brick & mortar storefront opening late March 2022 in Allentown, PGH 600 East Warrington Ave., Pittsburgh, PA 15210

Use this meditation anywhere to quickly come back to your breath, check in with your body, and become more grounded while traveling.

For more meditations or private sessions visit www.martaonthemove.com or email [email protected]

@martamazzonipgh

@martaonthemovepodcast

This is a subject I have avoided writing or speaking about. I think this avoidance was unconscious, but I am now highly aware of it. I am aware of it because at many a time in my life I have suffered from self doubt, imposter syndrome (I didn't even know that existed until two years ago), and confidence issues.

This month is particularly bad for me. I could not understand why I would awaken to dread and sadness. I felt on many days no motivation at all. I know I am still healing from grief, but it was more than that. Something was nagging at me, and I realized it was my own self doubt.

I have my sailing retreats coming up, and I am excited for them, but there is still availability for my June one. The fact that I have spots available make me feel bad about myself. "You are a failure."Another hit was a I post I put out called How To Build Your Own Toolbox, and it didn't gain much traction. "People don't care, maybe you should give up the podcast." I asked a question on Facebook and received lack luster responses. "Maybe people are annoyed with me?"

As these feelings of self doubt were bubbling within me, I saw a post from a girl who had 30,000 likes about candles of all things. I heard about a friend that is having much success hosting her own retreat.

I was seeing so much happiness online, so much success of others, that it had me questioning my own.

Now, let me pause here and say that maybe deep down I know I am enough, I KNOW I am making progress in my life. I know I am in such a better place than a year ago or even a day ago. I know I have so much love, success, and joy surrounding me.

Even then, folks... I was/am comparing myself to others, and it got the better of me.

People believe what they see. We don't know about the struggles human's face. We don't know how much it took them to announce something on the internet, or how they feel when they are offline. We don't know their loneliness or feelings of doubt. We just see the facade.

We now live in a high success/high reward culture. It is not our fault for having these feelings of inadequacy. I swear the internet is made to make you feel inadequate, so don't feel bad.

The real question is? How do we stop feeling this way? What steps can we take to feel confident, radiant, more creative, and the freakin unicorn that we are?!

"Don't compare your life to others. There is no comparison between the Sun and the Moon. They shine when it's their time."

The moment we start comparing our lives to others, we begin to feel doubt, and uncertainty, that can lead to depression, sadness, and lack of confidence.

This is the reason I wanted to be a little vulnerable here on my show with this episode. I am not immune! I get mopey and down. I feel like I am not doing enough. I haven't succeeded enough. I haven't helped people enough. I feel this so often. The struggle is real, and I know there are many others that feel the same as I do.

So what do we do when these feeling arise?

Here are some suggestions when you feel down and find yourself in the comparison game.

1. Shut down your internet. Take a break from doom scrolling by placing some restrictions on the amount of time you are online. Or tell the online world you are taking a week off. Being off the sauce will help you get a clear headed mind and show you the only person you are in comparison with... is yourself. More on that later.
2. Take a long walk in nature- I am an avid believer of walking to shake off the blues, and a little fresh air will have you thinking more clearly. Look up and see the sky and know you are enough.
3. Listen to some self growth podcasts or motivational speeches- Anything you can do to pull yourself out of doubt and into confidence is a win, and there are so many resources out there to use the internet for good.
4. Take a shower and dress up- Really, Marta? Yes! This simple trick will have you feeling better in no time. Dressing up doesn't have to mean putting on your nicest suit or ball gown. These days I have fallen into the trap of yoga pants and sports bra. (I mean I am a teacher) but it is nice to put on some clothing that makes you feel better. Dust off that jacket or dress and give yourself a compliment!
5. Repeat positive affirmations- I truly believe that this helps. I mean think of all the negative self talk that swims around in our brains. Where does it lead us? To being low, feeling bad, and right back into that comparison game again. Positive affirmations can help adjust the way that you think to help you feel better in no time. We will touch on more in a minute.
6. Create a list of Daily Wins- I heard this recently on a podcast and LOVED it. I started making it a habit, because more often than not we forget the things we accomplish in the day. We focus on the negative rather than the positive, and too often we get side tracked by outside stimulation that we don't remember our wins. YOU HAVE MANY WINS! I mean, you got out of the bed, right? WIN! Write that down. It can be small or big. They all matter. Try writing your wins before you go to bed at night. Don't compare each day to the other. Each one will be different but equally important in your growth.

Also, I wanted to touch on not just comparing yourself to others, but the fact that we have a tendency for self comparison. You are not beholden to things you have done in the past. I have done some incredible things in my 40 years, and sometimes instead of being proud of them, I find myself comparing the present self to what I have done! Isn't that nuts?! I know it is nuts, and still... it happens. The mind is tricky.

All the successes I have had, at one point or another I have thought to myself... "Ok, yeah you hosted that game show, You gonna do another? Make it bigger?' "You did that treasure dive... You dove the Atocha for treasure...What comes next, Marta? How are you gonna top that?" I know I am not the only one here.

Humans are funny, aren't they? You have to laugh sometimes. I personally have to steady myself often. How do I do this? Let's go back to positive affirmations. Which ones should you use? I will go over five of some of my favorites, but feel free to find inspiration for yours anywhere. Write them down frequently.

1. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Rinse and repeat over, and over, and over again. I use this affirmation in my yoga teaching constantly because it is a phrase that is so important. It is one we have a hard time believing. You are enough, you don't need to be more.
2. YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU NEED TO BE TO GET WHERE YOU ARE GOING. Not the past, not the future. Now. All you have is now and you are doing it. You are where you need to be.
3. "YOU ARE VERY POWERFUL PROVIDED YOU KNOW HOW POWERFUL YOU ARE" - Yogi Bhajan. One of my favorite quotes to remind you that you have all the power over your life. Even the smallest of changes make a huge impact. See that glass of water? Drink it. Feel better. :)
4. I AM WORTHY OF GOOD THINGS HAPPENING TO ME. Sometimes we stand in our own way, and beat ourselves up. This happens very often, and is a whole other podcast on it's own. Just know that you ARE worthy. No matter your past, regrets you have, or the things you have done. Everyone is capable and deserving of good things.
5. I AM NOT ALONE- This is a big one. Too often we can feel alienated from others. We feel people don't understand what we are going through. That they seem happy, and have no clue of the dread or grief that is inside us. Please know that everyone has felt this way at some point in their life, and with the state of the world currently, they have probably felt it more often than not. Repeating this phrase, at least to me makes me feel a whole lot better.

Remember to be gentle with yourself, and know also that this wave will pass. If you enjoyed this, check out one of my past episodes talking about building yourself a toolbox when you feel low. It really helps me, and hope it helps you too!

I would love to know about what you would like to hear about next! Shoot me an email and say hello :) Thank you for sharing this space with me and tuning in. Feel free to review on iTunes or wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Yoga Sailing Retreat Greece- June 18th- 25th. My Sicily trips are sold out, but Greece is still open and I would love to explore with you. Come sail the seas with me. It is going to be incredible and space is limited.

For more information or to book your spot head to Med Sailing Holidays

I invite you to come join my Sunday evening Stress Relief classes. I started them for myself, and then turned them into a pay what you can class. I would love for you to join me each Sunday at 8pm EST :)

ALSO if you can't roll with me overseas this year, stay local! My friend Elizabeth Craig and I are hosting a women onlyTransformation Retreat near Pittsburgh. Sept 8-11th. Registration is now open!

Taking five new meditation clients for July. Email [email protected] if interested

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As always I am not a doctor or Guru. By listening to this podcast or reading this blog, you agree not to use this podcast or blog as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, including but not limited to patients that you are treating.  Consult your own physician for any medical issues that you may be having.  This entire disclaimer also applies to any guests or contributors to the podcast or blog.  

Fear– An unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger. We are not immune to fear. It comes to us like waves and is usually unwelcome. There are global fears such as the war in Ukraine, global warming, food shortages, death. Death of a loved one, or our own amount of time on this spinning globe. I will touch on some of that later, but today I want to tackle some fears that we ourselves can have control over to allow us to stretch outside our comfort zones, try new things, and find peace and joy in our lives.

Fear stems from uncertainty and doubt. How do we face it? We have to sit with discomfort.

“Never be afraid of not knowing, find out”

Discomfort- make (someone) feel uneasy, anxious, or embarrassed

The internet has become something that has made us more afraid than ever and extremely comfortable being more than an arms length away from coming face to face with our discomfort.

Discomfort is why most of us never face our fears or step outside of our comfort zones. Think about it. Who wants to feel uneasy, anxious or embarrassed… nobody. The problem is when we avoid these feelings we create a bubble of safety around us that isolates us and keeps us fixed in our habits, patterns and zone of comfort. Let’s look at an example of this.

You get invited to a party, and at first you have every intention of going. You knew what you were going to wear, what to bring. You looked forward to seeing some friends you haven’t connected with in a while. The day of the party comes and you suddenly think to yourself. “What if I don’t know anyone there? What if nobody talks to me? Staying home and watching The Durrells in Corfu sounds amazing, I don’t have to go. Nobody will miss me.”

Now, I am not saying that a little couch introvert time isn’t needed by all of us, but I am sure there have been situations where you wanted to attend an event, and discomfort or fear of the unknown held you back.

In order to conquer and face our fear we must push past discomfort. It takes a leap of faith to delve into uncertainty… How do we deal with uncertainty?

“The unknown is just something we don’t know yet.”

This statement is 100 percent fact. Uncertainty is just having doubts about the unknown. Not knowing something gives people anxiety, it fuels self doubt, and ultimately makes them feel self-conscious and uncomfortable.

Think about it. If you know a subject very well, you would be happy to speak about it. Someone gives you a topic you know nothing about, and suddenly you are freaking out. All that is, is you learning about the topic!

How incredibly powerful is that fact?! That you have the power to shed your fears by learning what you don’t know. It is simple, yet something we overlook due to massive amount of distraction. Our minds have power over our joy and happiness, it just takes some discomfort getting there.

Here are some personal examples of this…

I decided to push Phil’s and I’s boundaries this year by signing us up for Improv Comedy Classes. Getting Phil to go was not an easy feat. He was ridiculously upset that I signed us up. He didn’t want to be put on display. When I finally convinced him to go, he was miserable, and extremely anxious the entire two hours before we went, acting like a 10 year old that is being dragged to church. Once we arrived, he was fine. I even caught him smiling a couple times. The second class was the same, only this time I caught him laughing.

Third class he was beginning to loosen up on stage, having more fun with it. Now he looks forward to our classes, and goes to shows every weekend! It is a new hobby he never would have discovered if he wasn’t brave enough to try and learn this new skill, make new friends ands with his discomfort.

He now knows the process. He knows people who are going to be there, and he is more confident because he is starting to understand improv and open up communication with others.

I use Phil because he is a classic example of someone who was extremely uncomfortable with showing up for something new, BUT after going for a while, now loves it! Improv has since improved our communication with one another, we laugh and joke more, listen more, and has brought increased joy and playfulness back into our lives. Hence, why they are sponsoring this episode.

Do you have a something like this in your life? Something you know you would love, but you avoid because of the discomfort or fear of going? How do we move past these feelings?

I actually encourage you to ask for help on this one. Working up the nerve to do things alone can be intimidating, but I know there are people out there that probably feel the exact same way and would love to join you on your new fear busting journey.

FRIENDS are the key to helping you overcome your fears. Try this…

Grab a piece of paper or a journal and write down-

• A list of fears that you have.

• At least three activities or experiences you have always wanted to try but haven’t due to discomfort.

• A lists of friends or family that would help you overcome this fear or complete something you want to do.

Now comes the hard part of pushing past your discomfort and ASKING them to help you achieve the results you want which can look like-

• Having them do some research on the subject and explaining it to you.
• Asking them to listen as you talk openly about your fears to them.
• Asking them to go with you to a class or adventure so you don’t have to go alone.

I too need those people in my life to help me break past my comfort zones and face some anxieties and fear. For all of us will just require some vulnerability on your part asking for help, which is never easy. I promise you that if you sit with your discomfort a bit, you will find the root cause and possibly overcome it.

Doing this will not only allow you to try something new, but will create a more meaningful relationships with that friend because they will feel honored that you asked them for help with this. Instant joy!

“Sometimes happiness is not knowing the whole story”

On the flip side of learning about your fears to become comfortable and more certain, there is also the possibility that you will never have understanding, or even want to know something about the larger questions of our existence. Death, uncertainty and what will the future bring cause pain and anxiety in all of us. In this case. Sitting with your uncertainty and accepting that everything will work out IS possible.

It is when we are in a state of calm peace that the nagging uncertainty removes itself from our lives and we become open to possibilities and not worry about what we can’t control.

How do we accomplish this?

For me, it was through self care. Self care in the form of movement, meditation, therapy, shadow work. This is all very healing work, and the goal of all of it is to find stillness which leads to happiness because you are pulling yourself into the present moment.

It is why I love teaching meditation with my students. I know what that restlessness feels like, and it isn’t pretty. You feel trapped in it and it feels endless. It creates negative emotions, judgement, fear, and of course… uncertainty, discomfort and doubt. If we can all learn to sit with our emotions and bring awareness to the surface, peace CAN be found.

In the end…we have this one life, and that is a gift. We should soak in every minute of it and try and spread happiness. That joy starts within by sitting with discomfort.

Recent Personal Experiences in Conquering Fear, Change, and Uncertainty

I am on my own personal journey of exploring wishes, dreams, and experiences that I had either left aside in my younger years, or never stepped up to the plate to try.

So often as adults life has influenced our opinions about what we LOVE to do. It becomes blurry, and habitual. We can sometimes forget the dreams we had when we were younger. Through deep meditation, and journaling work, almost a year later, and I now have my list of what truly fills my cup, and what is preprogrammed to look like it does. (But it doesn’t… happy hour anyone?)

After I had my list I began digging into my fears, and traumas. There was a ton of discomfort through that process, but it uncovered a lot for me and is leading me to finding more joy, peace and meaning in my life. It is opening up doors to allow me pursue my passion of helping others lead their lives from their hearts.

If you are ready to grow, break some boundaries, and open your heart to lead your life with joy feel free to ask me about my classes or my new Marta on the Move Mentorship program.

I would love to hear about something you were fearful or uncomfortable with that you pushed past and overcame. Send me an email and tell me all about it for inspiration 🙂

I am not sure if you live in Pittsburgh, but if you do check out a show at Steel City Improv, or take one of their classes. I know that they host open classes on Saturdays where you can sometimes just show up and try it out! How cool is that. Super low commitment, and you can just try it on to see if you like it. My kinda style. I even asked them to sponsor this episode, because I talk a good bit about them and use them as an example in this post, so check out their information below and try it out for yourself.

Speaking of stepping out of your comfort zone, I invite you to try my Sunday evening Stress Relief classes. They are online hosted on zoom and are a pay what you can class. Beginners are welcome. Every Sunday evening at 8pm EST

Looking for private classes? I offer meditation and yoga classes hosted on zoom to help you find balance and peace. Send inquiry to [email protected]

This episode is sponsored by Steel City Improv.

“Steel City Improv Theater teaches and performs Long-Form improv comedy. In long-form improvisation, a group of improvisers take one suggestion from the audience and perform an entirely made-up show, complete with multiple scenes, characters, and ridiculous spectacles, bound only by its creators’ imaginations.

Steel City Improv Theater (a.k.a. the SCIT), teaches Applied Improvisation. The SCIT knows that improv classes make you more than just funny.  By applying the principles of improv to your life,  you can become a better parent, mentor, entrepreneur, employee and friend.  Improv teaches you to deal with the unexpected in life. You become a better listener, more positive person, and improve your ability to truly live in the moment.

Steel City Improv Theater’s philosophy is best summed up in three words: “Listen. Commit. Play.” The SCIT combined the best practices from improv training found at New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles improv theaters into the SCIT Philosophy. Listening can be a hard skill to master, but, by staying in the moment can open up a world of possibilities. Accepting others’ ideas is difficult, but committing to our own ideas can be an even bigger challenge. With improv training, we learn to break through the inner critic that normally stops us. With a sense of play, we find an endless sense of possibility and inspiration. When our teammates have that same sense of imagination, it makes the word “failure” seem less scary

Fear– An unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.

We are not immune to fear. It comes to us like waves and is usually unwelcome. There are global fears such as the war in Ukraine, global warming, food shortages, death. Death of a loved one, or our own amount of time on this spinning globe. I will touch on some of that later, but today I want to tackle some fears that we ourselves can have control over to allow us to stretch outside our comfort zones, try new things, and find peace and joy in our lives.

Fear stems from uncertainty and doubt. How do we face it? We have to sit with discomfort.

“Never be afraid of not knowing, find out”

Discomfort- make (someone) feel uneasy, anxious, or embarrassed

The internet has become something that has made us more afraid than ever and extremely comfortable being more than an arms length away from coming face to face with our discomfort.

Discomfort is why most of us never face our fears or step outside of our comfort zones. Think about it. Who wants to feel uneasy, anxious or embarrassed… nobody. The problem is when we avoid these feelings we create a bubble of safety around us that isolates us and keeps us fixed in our habits, patterns and zone of comfort. Let’s look at an example of this.

You get invited to a party, and at first you have every intention of going. You knew what you were going to wear, what to bring. You looked forward to seeing some friends you haven’t connected with in a while. The day of the party comes and you suddenly think to yourself. “What if I don’t know anyone there? What if nobody talks to me? Staying home and watching The Durrells in Corfu sounds amazing, I don’t have to go. Nobody will miss me.”

Now, I am not saying that a little couch introvert time isn’t needed by all of us, but I am sure there have been situations where you wanted to attend an event, and discomfort or fear of the unknown held you back.

In order to conquer and face our fear we must push past discomfort. It takes a leap of faith to delve into uncertainty… How do we deal with uncertainty?

“The unknown is just something we don’t know yet.”

This statement is 100 percent fact. Uncertainty is just having doubts about the unknown. Not knowing something gives people anxiety, it fuels self doubt, and ultimately makes them feel self-conscious and uncomfortable.

Think about it. If you know a subject very well, you would be happy to speak about it. Someone gives you a topic you know nothing about, and suddenly you are freaking out. All that is, is you learning about the topic!

How incredibly powerful is that fact?! That you have the power to shed your fears by learning what you don’t know. It is simple, yet something we overlook due to massive amount of distraction. Our minds have power over our joy and happiness, it just takes some discomfort getting there.

Here are some personal examples of this…

I decided to push Phil’s and I’s boundaries this year by signing us up for Improv Comedy Classes. Getting Phil to go was not an easy feat. He was ridiculously upset that I signed us up. He didn’t want to be put on display. When I finally convinced him to go, he was miserable, and extremely anxious the entire two hours before we went, acting like a 10 year old that is being dragged to church. Once we arrived, he was fine. I even caught him smiling a couple times. The second class was the same, only this time I caught him laughing.

Third class he was beginning to loosen up on stage, having more fun with it. Now he looks forward to our classes, and goes to shows every weekend! It is a new hobby he never would have discovered if he wasn’t brave enough to try and learn this new skill, make new friends ands with his discomfort.

He now knows the process. He knows people who are going to be there, and he is more confident because he is starting to understand improv and open up communication with others.

I use Phil because he is a classic example of someone who was extremely uncomfortable with showing up for something new, BUT after going for a while, now loves it! Improv has since improved our communication with one another, we laugh and joke more, listen more, and has brought increased joy and playfulness back into our lives. Hence, why they are sponsoring this episode.

Do you have a something like this in your life? Something you know you would love, but you avoid because of the discomfort or fear of going? How do we move past these feelings?

I actually encourage you to ask for help on this one. Working up the nerve to do things alone can be intimidating, but I know there are people out there that probably feel the exact same way and would love to join you on your new fear busting journey.

FRIENDS are the key to helping you overcome your fears. Try this…

Grab a piece of paper or a journal and write down-

• A list of fears that you have.

• At least three activities or experiences you have always wanted to try but haven’t due to discomfort.

• A lists of friends or family that would help you overcome this fear or complete something you want to do.

Now comes the hard part of pushing past your discomfort and ASKING them to help you achieve the results you want which can look like-

• Having them do some research on the subject and explaining it to you.
• Asking them to listen as you talk openly about your fears to them.
• Asking them to go with you to a class or adventure so you don’t have to go alone.

I too need those people in my life to help me break past my comfort zones and face some anxieties and fear. For all of us will just require some vulnerability on your part asking for help, which is never easy. I promise you that if you sit with your discomfort a bit, you will find the root cause and possibly overcome it.

Doing this will not only allow you to try something new, but will create a more meaningful relationships with that friend because they will feel honored that you asked them for help with this. Instant joy!

“Sometimes happiness is not knowing the whole story”

On the flip side of learning about your fears to become comfortable and more certain, there is also the possibility that you will never have understanding, or even want to know something about the larger questions of our existence. Death, uncertainty and what will the future bring cause pain and anxiety in all of us. In this case. Sitting with your uncertainty and accepting that everything will work out IS possible.

It is when we are in a state of calm peace that the nagging uncertainty removes itself from our lives and we become open to possibilities and not worry about what we can’t control.

How do we accomplish this?

For me, it was through self care. Self care in the form of movement, meditation, therapy, shadow work. This is all very healing work, and the goal of all of it is to find stillness which leads to happiness because you are pulling yourself into the present moment.

It is why I love teaching meditation with my students. I know what that restlessness feels like, and it isn’t pretty. You feel trapped in it and it feels endless. It creates negative emotions, judgement, fear, and of course… uncertainty, discomfort and doubt. If we can all learn to sit with our emotions and bring awareness to the surface, peace CAN be found.

In the end…we have this one life, and that is a gift. We should soak in every minute of it and try and spread happiness. That joy starts within by sitting with discomfort.

Recent Personal Experiences in Conquering Fear, Change, and Uncertainty

I am on my own personal journey of exploring wishes, dreams, and experiences that I had either left aside in my younger years, or never stepped up to the plate to try.

So often as adults life has influenced our opinions about what we LOVE to do. It becomes blurry, and habitual. We can sometimes forget the dreams we had when we were younger. Through deep meditation, and journaling work, almost a year later, and I now have my list of what truly fills my cup, and what is preprogrammed to look like it does. (But it doesn’t… happy hour anyone?)

After I had my list I began digging into my fears, and traumas. There was a ton of discomfort through that process, but it uncovered a lot for me and is leading me to finding more joy, peace and meaning in my life. It is opening up doors to allow me pursue my passion of helping others lead their lives from their hearts.

If you are ready to grow, break some boundaries, and open your heart to lead your life with joy feel free to ask me about my classes or my new Marta on the Move Mentorship program.

I would love to hear about something you were fearful or uncomfortable with that you pushed past and overcame. Send me an email and tell me all about it for inspiration 🙂

I am not sure if you live in Pittsburgh, but if you do check out a show at Steel City Improv, or take one of their classes. I know that they host open classes on Saturdays where you can sometimes just show up and try it out! How cool is that. Super low commitment, and you can just try it on to see if you like it. My kinda style. I even asked them to sponsor this episode, because I talk a good bit about them and use them as an example in this post, so check out their information below and try it out for yourself.

Speaking of stepping out of your comfort zone, I invite you to try my Sunday evening Stress Relief classes. They are online hosted on zoom and are a pay what you can class. Beginners are welcome. Every Sunday evening at 8pm EST

Looking for private classes? I offer meditation and yoga classes hosted on zoom to help you find balance and peace. Send inquiry to [email protected]

This episode is sponsored by Steel City Improv.

“Steel City Improv Theater teaches and performs Long-Form improv comedy. In long-form improvisation, a group of improvisers take one suggestion from the audience and perform an entirely made-up show, complete with multiple scenes, characters, and ridiculous spectacles, bound only by its creators’ imaginations.

Steel City Improv Theater (a.k.a. the SCIT), teaches Applied Improvisation. The SCIT knows that improv classes make you more than just funny.  By applying the principles of improv to your life,  you can become a better parent, mentor, entrepreneur, employee and friend.  Improv teaches you to deal with the unexpected in life. You become a better listener, more positive person, and improve your ability to truly live in the moment.

Steel City Improv Theater’s philosophy is best summed up in three words: “Listen. Commit. Play.” The SCIT combined the best practices from improv training found at New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles improv theaters into the SCIT Philosophy. Listening can be a hard skill to master, but, by staying in the moment can open up a world of possibilities. Accepting others’ ideas is difficult, but committing to our own ideas can be an even bigger challenge. With improv training, we learn to break through the inner critic that normally stops us. With a sense of play, we find an endless sense of possibility and inspiration. When our teammates have that same sense of imagination, it makes the word “failure” seem less scary and more exciting.

For a safe space to step out of your comfort zone, come listen, commit, and play at Steel City Improv Theater!”

 

 

 

 

As always I am not a doctor or Guru. By listening to this podcast or reading this blog, you agree not to use this podcast or blog as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, including but not limited to patients that you are treating.  Consult your own physician for any medical issues that you may be having.  This entire disclaimer also applies to any guests or contributors to the podcast or blog.  

more exciting.

For a safe space to step out of your comfort zone, come listen, commit, and play at Steel City Improv Theater!”

We all have a toolbox in our home. A toolbox is a collection of items that is there when we need it in case we have something to fix. All handy, and all in one place. It probably contains at least one of the following items- Hammer, wrench, nails, measuring tape, screw driver, etc.

We create these boxes for fixing things in our home, but have you ever thought to create your own personal toolbox to use as a coping mechanism?

I sure as hell didn't. Not until I heard someone talk about their own list of things that they held inside of their boxes. When life got hard, when they felt down and out, or at rock bottom, these things that were inside of their box were there for them as tried and true helpful things to turn towards.

I have never thought about this in my life until this past year of grief and loss, but found myself looking for information on all things healing, change, and transitions. I joined grief groups, did classes, read a ton, educated myself on growth, loss and the process of it all. I thought I could fix the situation that was happening inside my body and mind.

There was no fixing the fact that my sister is dead. I couldn't fix that, but I could try and fix myself, my relationships and more. I COULD FIX EVERYTHING! I wasn't prepared for the dark days, the lowest lows, and those high waves that crashed all around me. I couldn't swim, I just had to hold on until it passed. Sometimes it takes minutes, hours... days.

I really didn't have much to cling to when this happens. All my research and effort of educating myself didn't prepare me for these occurrences. There is something that does though, and when I learned about it, it felt like to me being in the upside down or Pan's Labyrinth. Like someone had given me a magic key. A toolbox.

Someone once told me that every person wants to change, we all want to be happy, productive, and joyful, we just sometimes don't know how. They then describe a wall that was in need of paint. You have wanted to paint it for year You were the painter and you had the color picked out. You were in your paint clothes. You set aside time to paint that wall. You open your toolbox, and all that is in there is a hammer and nails. No brush, no rollers.

You give up painting the wall. You tried, you showed up. That was enough wasn't it? It just wasn't meant to be, so you will just sit with the unpainted wall because trying again feels like too much, it is just too hard.

This is the magic of creating your very own tool box. A place you can go to remind you of what helps you. Not anyone else, just you. It is your own helpful kit.

How To Create Your Own Toolbox?

We start by making a list. Take out a piece of paper and write these things down.

What things sooth your soul? What calms you down, fills you with joy, or unruffles your feathers? What makes you feel less alone? What feels like a warm blanket and balm to your heart? What makes you feel grounded and less restless? What do you NEED right now?

Start writing this list. It may take you a few tries and you may end up removing some items or starting again. That is ok, just keep writing.

If you are feeling stuck, here are some of mine for inspiration-

~ Meditation

~ Warm bath

~ Scent Scapes (Lavender and bergamot)

~ Playing with a pet

~ Playing with a child

~ Herbal tea

~ A walk around the block

~ Tai Chi, Qi Gong, Yoga moving with breath

~ A nourishing soup or cooking

~ A Warm shower

~ A Massage

~ Affirmations

~ A big hug

~ A big cry

~ A Phone call to a close friend

~ Journaling

~ Music

~ A Nap

~ Water

~ Therapy

When I am feeling anxious, restless, or irritable I stop and think about WHY I am feeling that way and I ask myself- "What do I need right now?"

Most of the times I can't recall or do not have the energy or will power to help myself. I forget what fills me up. I just know that I am down, and I don't have the momentum to think up what will make me feel better.

This is where your toolbox comes in. It will be there for you when you need it.

Where to Keep My Toolbox?

I highly suggest making copies of your toolbox. Laminate it if you have to and carry it in your purse or wallet. Make a copy on your phone for easy access. When you find yourself in a situation that is making your uncomfortable or distressed, pull out your toolbox and complete one or two of the things on your list. Then see how you feel afterwards.

It all seemed so simple. I started doing this and I can tell you that I noticed a change shortly afterwards in the time it took for me to feel like myself again. I had what I needed right in front of me that worked FOR ME. Not something that worked for other people, but my tools that were unique to my individual character.

Can You Tool Box Change?

Absolutely! Your tool box might change, shift, and grow over the years as you discover new things that may help you on your life journey.

What's in your toolbox? I would love to hear from you and learn about what helps you cope with stress and anxiety

I invite you to come join my Sunday evening Stress Relief classes. I started them for myself, and then turned them into a pay what you can class. I would love for you to join me each Sunday at 8pm EST :)

 

 

 

By listening to this podcast or reading this blog, you agree not to use this podcast or blog as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, including but not limited to patients that you are treating.  Consult your own physician for any medical issues that you may be having.  This entire disclaimer also applies to any guests or contributors to the podcast or blog. 

I had someone ask me recently what the fives books that really helped me with this last year of losing my sister. I figured this would be a good opportunity to put them in one place in the hopes that the people who need them, will find them. If you know someone who is grieving and don't know how to help them, one of these or another read delivered to their house is a wonderful way to show them they are on your mind. Friends and family sent me books during this time, and I feel that more than flowers, or candy (Aside from hand written notes because I loved those) recieving the gift of a book in the mail is so lovely. Thank you to all.

 

#1 The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and Sacred Work of Grief. Francis Weller

I know I should put my favorite in the bottom of the post, but I just can't. This book is everything to me. In my darkest moments it was a source of light. It is written so beautifully that I found myself not wanting to consume too much of it in one sitting. I would have to put it down so I could come back to it when I was feeling lousy or down. It is my top, top favorite. It got me through some of my lowest points of despair, and it speaks not just about my particular grief, but the grief the we as humans share everyday. Grief that connects each and every one of us. Everyone should read this book. Even those who haven’t lost someone. The world would be a much better and kinder place to live in.

# 2 Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age.- Bruce Feiler

This was a very interesting read. For about two years I could( and still can) feel the pressure of transition bearing down my neck. Even if my sister Nina hadn't died, I know this feeling would still be there. I think we all feel it right now. The world is a different place, and after Covid a lot of us had to rethink the way we live, what is important to us, what matters most.

If you have feelings of being lost, old patterns not serving you, wanting a higher calling, foggy, trying to get in touch with your most honest self, or truly just feel like you are ready for something different and life is leading you to that- This is a great book to grab. It solidified that the steps I was/am taking are alright and healthy. I was proud that a lot of the things I was already doing in my life were listed in the book and it helped validate those actions. I highly suggest it for anyone going through any transition, not just grief over losing someone close to you.

# 3 Set Boundaries, Find Peace- Nedra Glover Tawwab

I am about 80% through this and It is a game changer. It is for those who are ready to take a deep look at themselves and how they interact with the people in their lives. It will peel back the curtain of your healthy and unhealthy one relationships and communication. Complete rewiring of the system here. Not for the faint of heart. I learned some things about myself that I didn't know, and would like to change or shift. Be ready for some eye opening insight, and have a pen and paper handy for exercises. I suggest getting their workbook to help with this it will aid quite a bit to be able to follow along and write some things down.

#4 Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Non Violent Communication- Oren Jay Sofer

 

“THE WAY WE COMMUNICATE WITH OTHERS AND WITH OURSELVES ULTIMATELY DETERMINES THE QUALITY OF OUR LIVES” ~ ANTHONY ROBBINS

Suggested by my therapist! Thank you Kim you are the best, and if you are reading this, I don't know what I would have done without you! AHEM. Back to the book...I bought two copies. One for me, one for Phil. We are reading this together, and it is a game changer. After loss, any loss, people may have trouble expressing their feelings. It can lead to fights, miscommunication, and a breaking down of relationships. Healthy communication is essential and it starts with YOU. Not the other way around.

This read is helping me in my own communication with myself and those I care about. It is eye opening and shows how old patterns and stuck ways that we grew up with can be hard to unravel. I will say that this book paired with the #3 Boundaries book has been extremely interesting to read for me personally. I feel like they go together really well. Prepare for that deep dive on knowing yourself. That's what brought you here, right? You can handle it ! I have faith in you! :)

#5 Comfortable with Uncertainty- Pema Chödrön

This is a work that calms me when I am feeling the weight of impermanence. When I feel lost. I love this author so much. Pema Chodron writes a lot of books, and this one isn’t so much a study read as it is a book to come back to time and time again. You can pick it up at any page at any moment of your life, and relearn or see something new for the first time.

I love it, and it is teaching me more on how to be more comfortable with the unknown. How to surrender to it and remain present and open instead of expectant or judgemental. Really hard things to swallow, but incredible to implement in every day life.

#6 The Untethered Soul- The Journey Beyond Yourself -Michael Alan Singer

Marta, I thought you said FIVE books. Nope. Sorry! I had to put this one in there. This is a gorgeous read that will make your heart open and feel more alive that you have felt in years. It is a quick read, and a lovely way to heal your deep soul. If you are looking for a gift for someone or yourself... this is it. Beautiful writing.

Notable mention to these books-

Surviving the Death of a Sibling- T. J. Wray

There aren't many works that are this specific and I like this one because it speaks directly to losing a sibling and how that differs from other losses. I read this shortly after Neen's passing and it helped not feel so alone. I was told about this book from a friend who also lost her sister. Thank you so much, Martina.

What am I currently reading?

Quit Like a Woman : The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed With Alcohol.- Holly Whitaker

Every year for a certain amount of time I give up alcohol, sugar, white flour, and most caffeine. Last year I created my 3 To Be Me Journey Course around these habits. I am taking this year to work on me more, so will not be offering that course at this time. (I am only offering one on one meetings and workshops) My goal this year is 100 days! I am three days in and feeling good. 60 pages into this book, and it is extremely informative about changing my perspective on alcohol. A really great read if you are thinking about taking a break, or giving it up entirely.

These are my favorites! What are yours? I love learning and hearing from you all about what has helped you on your path. If reading isn't your thing, grab an audiobook! I love listening to them when I take a walk.

Much love and light!

~M

 

Looking for some stress relief? Join my pay what you can class on Sundays at 8pm EST online. Perfect for beginners. We breathe, stretch, focus, and relax.

*Update* I am no longer in a coffeeshop in Philly, but finally got up to record this post as a podcast episode. It is February now. Enjoy and stay warm.

I find myself sitting in a coffeeshop in Philly overwhelmed by how many friends and strangers have reached out to me about losing someone they cared about in their lives recently. I have been working on this post for a while, quietly coming back to it time and time again over the past year, and never ready to post or record it. I am ready now because I hope it helps someone who is feeling the way I do. I also wanted to shine more light on the subject because...

In our society, grief isn't talked about as much as, well, everything else. 

We avoid the topic like the plague, even though the one thing that links all of us on this Earth is death. Impermanence and mortality are subjects that are now a part of my fabric. I embrace these topics. I want to have salons with like minded humans going through transitions, and look into their eyes and know we are connected.

I know deep down that there are so many others who need this subject to be discussed more. We are not alone. You are not alone, even though right now if you are reading this, you may feel the opposite. I get it, and I hope this offers a little bit of insight into at least what I have found to be helpful for me this past year. It might not apply to you, or maybe it will. I would also love to hear what works or doesn't work for you. Here we go... Deep breaths!

Traveling- Seeing something bigger than yourself puts things into perspective. It takes you out of your bubble and allows you to breathe for a bit. Coming back home however, will be hard as you realize your loved one is still gone. As long as you know that, traveling is a wonderful way to make some space for yourself.

Talking About The Person That Has Passed- People try to avoid their name, their memory. They are uncomfortable with grieving and death. they may also feel that bringing up the subject will cause you pain. For me this wasn't the case. I needed and still need to talk about Nina. I want to talk about her all the time. I want to have her memories wash over me so that she remains right by my side and at the forefront of my mind. For those in denial, or not facing their grief, not wanting to remember, or speak about the loved one who has passed could be a sign of not fully accepting their death and can be detrimental over time. Speak their name and remember them. Bonus points if you are the friend or loved one who actually makes eye contact while doing it. :)

Friends Who Have Grieved- Having someone who has possibly gone through something similar really does help, allowing you to open up more. It can sometimes be hard to fully be vulnerable with a friend or family member who just doesn't have that shared experience of loss. Don't be afraid to reach out to someone if you need to talk. This was VERY hard for me, so I understand if it can seem intimidating.

Walking- Just simply walking outdoors for 5 minutes helps me get out of my own head. It is simply, my lifeline. It has been since Covid began. It allows your mind to be present in nature and have some fresh air clears the demons away.

Embrace the Tears- I am fully for crying in public to be the new normal. Laughter is an expression of emotions, so are tears. If everyone cried more, we would be a much healthier nation. It is extremely healthy to cry, it allows your feelings to bubble to the surface so you can let them go and heal. Please don't tell someone not to cry. We were told that as children, and look where it usually gets us, being an adult and NOT BEING COMFORTABLE CRYING. In the beginning I was embarrassed by my tears. Now, I welcome them. When I cry I know I am healing, and bringing my sister back to life because I am feeling all the emotions.

- Being in nature. It just helps so much. Sitting outside. Going on a hike. Gardening. Try Forest Bathing. Look it up. It is amazing.

- Meditation- It doesn't have to look like the standard meditation of sitting quietly. I teach meditation to others, and fully believe that active meditation can be just as helpful as sitting meditation. Walking is a form of this. If you find yourself still restless, then it is time to ramp up your practice and search for some different outlets. I suggest Insight Timer App which is free and has a ton of helpful guides, sleep music, and a timer!

- Helping Others. This is a big one. After the death of a loved one we can feel like we have lost our meaning. "Why am I here? What is my purpose? I feel lost." I still feel this way on some dark days. I try to remind myself that  the meaning is just being alive and helping others. Find a group, mentor someone, donate, get involved in your community. Not only will it make you feel better, but you will also be helping someone else who may need it.

Grief Groups- I believe my sister Neen is waiting for me and I will see her again. That being said, there are a lot of grief groups that are focused on religion. It just isn't for me. I am not an overly religious person. I am a spiritual person which is not the same. I do believe however that finding a group of people with that shared experience can be a positive thing.

Just be careful when choosing as there can be some groups that will make you feel worse. A lot of negative, depressing or talk that has a toxic effect and will keep you spinning your wheels. This is not a dig on religious groups btw. Grief is unique and nobody grieves the same way. Find comfort where you can. My absolute favorite group that I have found is on Facebook run by now friend Nicola Yardley called Coping with Grief. It truly has been so helpful in remembering my sister, and also taking care of myself.

Therapy. Everyone's thoughts are different but mine are YES TO THERAPY. I found my therapist before Nina died, and I don't know what I would do without her. Not all therapists will be the right fit for you, so don't get turned off if the first one doesn't quite make you feel comfortable. Try another until you find the right one.

Therapy is essential in having a third party to talk to. For those that are reading this thinking- "Well I have my sister to talk to, or my best friend, or my partner." Believe me- 1. At some point it won't be enough. 2. They are biased. 3. You won't be able to open up to them as much. 4. After a while you will feel like you are burdening them (and you might be) negative patterns that cycle over, and over without healing can cause strain on a relationship. Trust me, find a therapist and feel loads better.

Art Therapy- Music and art help LOADS. Also crafting. Coloring has been so therapeutic if you don't know where to start or don't want to take a class. Painting, drawing. Check Meetup for online live sketch classes!

Hanging with Kids- This for me has also been essential. My little from Big Brothers Big Sisters has kept me grounded and also not jaded or angry. In grief you can become so sad and angry. Hanging with him, my niece and nephews, it makes me feel alive and happy again. I also took a job teaching mindfulness to kids in schools who really need it. It makes me feel hopeful and inspired after I leave there.

Grief Recovery Method- I tried this certified national program, and will be covering it in another podcast episode because it is too long to talk about. The short answer is- When you are ready to heal, this is a good program for those who like homework and structure. It helped me.

Doing Something Your Loved One Liked To Do- Eating their favorite foods, their favorite drink. Taking a class in something they delved in. Watching their favorite movie. This has helped me a lot. Will it be painfully sweet? Yes. Will you cry? Probably. Will it make you feel closer to them? Absolutely.

Writing Your Loved One a Letter- This may not be for everyone, because it was unique to Nina and I. She lived in Vegas for a time of her life and we wrote each other so many letters. Hundreds of them. We kept writing even when she returned home. It was our best way of communicating. A week before she died I woke up at 3am and wrote her the longest of the letters. Telling her everything I ever wanted to tell her.

Things I was sorry for. Times that made me so happy. How proud I was of her. How beautiful she is/was. Memories that meant the most to me. Thanking her for being there for me in every way. All of it. Anything I wanted to say. She got to read that, and I can't tell you how much I am thankful that I was able to tell her those things.

Now that she isn't here. I haven't stopped writing to her. "Dear Neen" letters are everywhere. On my laptop, in my various journals, pieces of paper around the house, on napkins at restaurants. It can't explain to you the release I got when I realized I could STILL write to her.

I was sitting in a cafe in Croatia, and became so overcome with sadness thinking that she would never write to me again. I began crying... in public... again. (It's the norm now, and apparently what the cool kids are doing lol) It was then and there I realized that I could still write to her. I began my letter the way I always did, and the moment my pen hit that restaurant's placemat... I was overwhelmed by the relief it gave me. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I still do and it is one of the biggest sources of comfort.

Try it. I have personally found it to be such a healing practice. Even if you never wrote to one another, that doesn't mean you can't start. You end up writing so much more that is inside yourself that speaking, thinking cannot help with. What is something you longed to say to your loved one that maybe you didn't get to? Write to them.

Books- There have been some books that REALLY helped me this year. The Wild Edge of Sorrow is one. If I could buy this for every person in the world, I would. It is a balm to my soul. Also Comfortable with Uncertainty by Pema Chodrin. If you know or have kids of your own The Invisible String is a wonderful children's book on dealing with the loss of a loved one and helping kids understand death. I also enjoyed Life is in the Transitions which helped me quite a bit in the first months of grief. Head over and check out my 6 six that have helped me with my grieving process this past year post. 

Doing Nothing- Allowing yourself to do nothing is great for grief. Letting go of expectations that you put on yourself. Overworking, meeting with friends. Sometimes just be in solitude and doing nothing has greatly helped me grieve and release pain. Know when you have stayed there too long, use your intuition to come back out, and say yes to things again. You are allowed to just sit. I repeat. Try not to feel guilty about it, you do you.

Selfcare in All Forms- Massage, reflexology, swimming, sauna, yoga, tea, sleep. Putting yourself FIRST is now your priority. Your loved one would want you to take the best care of yourself. Do the things that make your body and mind feel good. It isn't selfish. Once again you cannot pour from an empty cup.

I would be remiss to not mention my Sunday evening Stress Relief classes. I started them for myself and then turned them into a pay what you can class. I would love for you to join me every Sunday at 8pm EST :)

What Doesn't Help Me-

These few things don't work for me. I want to be clear in saying. These are all just my opinions. What works for me may not work for all. As always- I am not a doctor or therapist. I am just a grieving person hoping to help someone else who is feeling the way I am. This is also therapy for me as well. Consult a doctor if you find yourself in a bad state.

Excess alcohol. It is ok to indulge, but a lot of time you find yourself making excuses for that extra glass of wine. For me, it effects my sleep, is a depressant, and has me craving to drown myself into another bottle. My sister isn't at the bottom of that bottle, and neither are any answers you are seeking. So while indulging once in a while is ok, just be careful of the slippery slope of distracting ourselves from our grief. Alcohol numbs.

Staying Up Late- Nope, I need a regular bedtime. Also the demons come out at night so the earlier I go to sleep the better so my head doesn't spin and spin.

Overeating- Same as drinking. It makes me feel worse.

Meeting With Comforting Yet Toxic People- Just because someone is in your life, doesn't mean that they are great for your well being. Just because something is comforting because it is familiar, it doesn't make it good for you. Rule of thumb- If you leave your hangout or conversation feeling down or depleted, it might be time for a break. Which is OK. Don't feel bad about taking what is best for you at this time.

Scrolling- Otherwise known as doom scrolling. Try to put the phone down, close your eyes, or take that walk to get out of your head.

Caffeine- Ramped up my anxiety terribly. I would suggest dialing it back if your mind is racing or sleep is not coming easily.

I hope this helps some of you out there. It has helped me just to write it. Whoever you are, wherever you are. I wish you comfort and peace in this time. Be gentle with yourself. There are no stages of grief. Each loss is unique and therefore each grieving process is different for each person.

Once again, I would love to hear anything that has helped you in your time of loss. This article isn't just for those who have lost someone recently. I believe we never really stop grieving. This article is for everyone who has lost someone in their lives. No matter how long it has been. 

Much love and light,

~M

For those wanting an escape, come travel with me! There are three spots left for my Yoga Sailing Retreat in Greece this June 18th. Email me for more details. 7 days of exploring.

Want to incorporate more mindfulness in your school or corporation? Contact me to talk about how we can make this happen through a workshop or private classes.

Do you often want to host a gathering, but stop yourself because of the work involved?

   

Would you like to get invited to more intimate dinner parties, hangs at friends and loved ones houses?

   

If so this episode is for you. This has been something I have long thought about but never put my thoughts on paper. This is essentially a note to both hosts and guests to open the line of communication so they can understand each other and see things from each other's perspective.

   

My husband and I love hosting at our home. We have done so for many many years in our older house. We just moved in April, and our house now is much larger than our apartment sized place. Even though our space was small, we always managed to cram it with loving and fun memories of dinner parties, wine tastings, xmas parties, Paella evenings and more.

   

We want to share space with others, and we are two humans who love to open our home and, make it welcoming. Do we do this as often as we would like to? No, we don't.

   

Why don't we? For one, it takes a lot of work. Cooking, prep, planning, cleaning, before and after the party is tiring. Is there space for everyone? Do we have enough chairs? Enough cups? Just the planning involved can become overwhelming and instantly steal the lovely dream of friends or family gathering around the table.

   

There is a fix to this, you just have to not be afraid to put it out there. Ready?

   

You need boundaries and clear guidelines for your home. You have to transport it into more of a communal hangout. What does this mean? It means that guests should take some responsibilities in the parts that fall on the host.

   

A note to guests- Please make yourself at home is a statement that is widely used but rarely followed. Do you wash dishes in your house? Take off your shoes? Do you cook in your home? Place a glass back to where it originally sat? Yes. You do.

   

When Phil and I visit people's homes we automatically take off our shoes, we bring something to share, and we always help with cooking, or cleaning afterwards. In other words, we want to be a part of the evening, and we also want to be invited again and again. We want to be great guests. We don't expect any grand event. We just love the idea of visiting with friends in their space. It is a gift to share your space with others, and to be a guest in it.

   

Tips For Hosts-

1. "Don't let perfect get in the way of good" I have learned this quote the past year and it is so true. Just do it. Don't make it a big thing. Nobody expects perfection, and if they did... maybe they aren't the right people to invite to your house. Just saying. A great friend or family member would just feel happy to be invited into your sacred space.
2. Do or make something that allows you to actually HANG out with your guests. Whatever that is. Make a soup to share, pre-prep, make a batch cocktail. You aren't a server and unless it is a super intimate dinner party, do yourself a favor and join your guests.
3. Be Clear and Have Boundaries- If you don't tell someone something, how will they ever know? This is more for the American audience- How many times has someone asked you if they should take off their shoes, and you felt bad and said... "Nah, don't worry about it" You immediately set a lax rule in your home. I say this is for the American audience because it is very normal to remove your shoes in house's overseas. BE CLEAR in what you want, speak up. You won't hurt anyone's feelings, if anything you will help them because guests want clear guidelines. You just aren't doing that with them... sorry you aren't. You are not the only one, I have done it many a time. Don't feel bad. Just be better next time. This is also part of not being able to ask for help from others. Something I am personally looking at in myself. Which makes sense that the next tip would be...
4. Ask For Help- It is ok. Reach out and see if friends want to cook together. Get out of your head. Step outside of your comfort zone. Nothing bothers me more than going to a friend's house for dinner and not being able to help. I always offer, and they usually say "Nah, you relax" NOPE, give them a task.
5. Ask Someone OUTSIDE of your inner onion- Don't be afraid to ask someone you haven't before to join a gathering. They are aren't going to invite themselves, and you probably think they don't want to be bothered, or aren't that close of a friend. I have news for you, new friends are out there. Much like the truth. HEHE Xfiles... No seriously, there are new friends just waiting to be had, you just have to be brave enough to reach out to them.
6. Have some sort of ice breaker or game handy. Have a theme, a topic to delve into, or a game/ question handy that helps smooth out awkward conversations. Give the event a reason, even if it is hang in your pj's night.
7. Don't sit people who came together. It is a no no if you are doing a seating chart or sitting down to dinner. Spark new conversations and connections by spitting up couples and close friends.
8. Set up your home for success- Do you need to ask others to BYOC- Bring Your Own Chair? or BYOB- Bring Your Own Blanket? Do so. Many hands lifts heavy things easily.
9. Standing and Seperating- Do it all. Have spaces for others and encourage guests to spread out and take up space in different parts of the room. Encourage mingling while standing or hanging in the kitchen.... #10
10. KITCHEN TAKEOVER- Have friends take over your kitchen for a day. It's a thing, you should try it. It's fun.
11. Don't worry about Your Place Being Spotless- When I get invited to someone's home, I personally feel so a part of their lives that their average everyday "stuff" is out. Paperwork, unread letters or bills. The fact that they are comfortable with me seeing that part of their lives. Not the cookie cutter version of what people want them to see. A home doesn't have to be picture perfect to host. It should be warm and welcoming. I mean, don't leave your dirty underwear out or anything, but don't obsess that everything has to be PERFECT. Otherwise you won't ever host.
12. You Don't Always Need Food- Having quick hangouts with friends is a great way to warm up your home and make it welcoming. Maybe tea for an hour after work? Sorting through some old photos you need help with. Hanging pictures? Open up your idea box and invite some friends to hang without food. Just be clear in what kind of gathering you are having.
13. Be Spontaneous- Don't wait and plan an event in the future. Sometimes you will get so excited for an idea and then as the date. approaches you are dreading it. It happens to guests and to hosts. MIX IT UP! If the mood takes you, open your home this evening! Throw some texts out there and see who bites! Imagine this- If you are excited to hang out this evening, the people who say yes to your invitation are equally excited! How could you not have an excellent time when both moods are aligned? You may not get a ton of guests, but learning to be more flexible will guarantee surprise and welcoming events for your future :) It is also the best kind of infectious thing. Once you do this with others, they will feel more confident to offer it to you as well.

For Guests- Some Simple Tips to Follow.

1. Take Off Your Shoes- Always, don't ask. Just do it.
2. Bring Something to Share- A bottle of wine, a side dish, a game, a fun story. Always bring something to share with the group.
3. Offer to Help, or Demand It- So many times hosts will deny they need help in the kitchen or setting up. Even if you ask "Can I help?" Don't take no for answer. A better question would be to say " What can I do?" If they say nothing I usually follow up by saying "Please, let me do something I love to work in the kitchen and I have idle hands" This usually does the trick, and I am now part of the experience.
4. Help Clean Up Afterwards- Want invited back? I don't care if you are the patriarch of the family. Pick up your dish.
5. Host the Next Event- Offer to host the next event that is happening and follow through.
6. Ask if You Can Bring a Friend-Sometimes considered a risky question, I personally love when guests ask if they can bring someone. Def don't show up with a stranger without asking.
7. Follow Up Text- Just a quick thank you to show you had a good time and appreciate being invited!
8. French Goodbye- Do this at a large party. Don't break up the event and start the domino goodbye effect. It is a curse. Obviously for small gatherings tell the guest you have to leave.
9. Don't Overstay Your Welcome- Read the room. If hosts are yawning a lot and fidgeting. Time to go!

Obviously, there are a lot of ideas when it comes to hosting an event in your home. These are just some of my opinions. For me personally, I want an experience with the host, and would love to be involved as much as I can be to help. It is those memories that make the best times!

Please remember that someone out there would love to hang at your place, that someone is probably me. :) Don't be afraid to host, AND be a great guest. Hoping for great gatherings this holiday season for all of you!

Speaking of being inclusive- I host a donation based stress relief and meditation class every Sunday online at 8pm. In addition to seeing my regular students, when new faces pop up on my screen to join, it makes me SO happy. I send out the email link on my newsletter each week and I really hope you will join us! You don't need prior experience. We breathe, we stretch, we calm the mind and connect. Come join us :)

   

 

Dear Croatia...

I have a lot to say to you, and I hope I summed it up in this episode. I needed to collect my thoughts, to gather up my senses. I also needed some time to completely fall apart when I got home from this month long odyssey. Reintroduction is always hard.

In this episode I talk about reasons that I both completely love, and reasons why I am completely annoyed with Croatia. I hope you find each of them useful, or at the very least somewhat amusing. It might even convince you to book your next trip there.

To the 24 guests that joined me for my first ever yoga sailing retreat- Thank you, thank you, thank you! I can't wait to reveal the next dates for the trip on this episode. If you are thinking about signing up, please remember I have a no diva- King or Queen Policy :)

These trips are meant to be relaxed, insightful, healing, fulfilling and respectful of all that join. I had that on this first experience and hope to have it that way every year to come.

I will be posting also A Letter to Vienna, Austria as well talking about the last leg of my trip. I hope you enjoy :)

Where are you off to next?

Registration is now open for 2022 Marta on the Move Adventures!

Feb 19th- Sober Sail Caribbean- 10 spots available

June 18th- Greece- 16 spots available

July 2nd- Sicily- 16 spots available

July 9th- Sicily- 16 spots available

Spots are limited and will go fast. Some rooms are already booked. Click on the links for more details, or reach out to Roger at [email protected] for more details or to put in your deposit to hold your spot on the trip! Please reference Feb 19th for the Sober Sail in Caribbean with Roger.

Hope you will join!

~M

Sponsored by Bodywork412- Lotions, oils, and potions, and Yang Yin Health Matcha. Get 10% off all of your orders with code Marta!

I have been off grid for a bit. I truly haven't felt like writing or podcasting in weeks. My sister passed away from cancer in early April. She fought harder than I have seen anyone fight in my life. I miss her. I see her everywhere. she visits in various ways, it isn't enough and won't ever be. Life is just different now.

There is a giant hole in my heart that cannot be filled. The reason I am back here writing, and talking is because I remember the day I told her I was thinking about starting Marta on the Move. It didn't even have a name yet.

Her words were "Buckle your seat belt, because this is something you were meant to do, something that you won't quit, something that will help others." That is all she ever wanted to do as well. Nina just wanted to help others.

I have thought about quitting often these past eight months, more so the past two. I have felt hopeless, lost, lonely. Words were, and still are impossible to describe feelings of despair. Everything that comes with the grief of losing your best friend, your biggest supporter, the person you always ran to, and was there for you without judgement. It's a rare thing, and makes you realize what you had and lost.

Falling into despair is easy, crawling your way out is hard, but I just keep telling myself that she is here, watching me, urging me on. That I want to make her proud of me, which has always been my motivation. She would be pissed as hell if I quit, or let myself spiral. I can hear her in my head. "Get up, get moving, do what is hard."

The fact that one of my sayings is "Keep it moving, everybody" is funny to me now. I tell myself that everyday to get out of bed, take a shower, take care of myself as best I can. It resonates differently than it did before all of this.

It is impossible for me to write everything down that is going through my brain, but I needed to try. There has been a subject that has swam in my head since her passing. The word "Help" has been in my minds eye constantly. I will say that in the past couple of weeks I have received help, and support that I couldn't believe possible. I am humbled and eternally grateful, but there was a flip side to that as well.

The dictionary states "help" as-

"verb (used with object)

to give or provide what is necessary to accomplish a task or satisfy a need; contribute strength or means to; render assistance to; cooperate effectively with; aid; assist: He planned to help me with my work. Let me help you with those packages.

to save; rescue; succor: Help me, I'm falling!

to make easier or less difficult; contribute to; facilitate: The exercise of restraint is certain to help the achievement of peace."

These past weeks I have had SO many people ask me if I needed help. While I was thankful, I was overwhelmed at the same time. I didn't know HOW to let people help me. I didn't know how to articulate exactly how they might help, I also did NOT want to burden anyone, AND I didn't want to seem like I needed help. Loss of control is a big trigger for me that I am working on.

This is what this episode is about because I think it is important. There is a GREAT chasm in terms of communication about this subject. It makes people uncomfortable to ask for help, to reach out in a time of need for it. We just don't know how. We want to help our friends and loved ones when they need it. It makes us feel better to do so, but not knowing HOW makes us feel helpLESS. We don't know how to do it properly because the other person isn't articulating what they NEED.

In this episode I will try and offer my feelings on -

• How to let people help you.
• How to give or offer help in a way that ACTUALLY helps that person.
• Why you should accept help from others.
• How to communicate better in ways of giving help.
• How accepting help from others, helps them in return.

I will also offer up clear ideas on how to specifically offer help to grieving loved ones. I am in no way shape, or form an expert at this. This is just my experience talking, and others like me. I have received so much feedback from friends on Facebook, and coping with grief groups. For that I thank you tremendously and I will try and do right by all of you. :)

I am determined to tackle this subject, and while I know it will turn off some, or be sensitive to others, I feel it is very important moving forward in this world. Personally, I feel it will help me as well peek at some shadows in my closet I have been avoiding.

We are all suffering from grief and loss. Loss over the way we used to live, loss of a loved one, a job, a dream. We NEED to start communicating, rebuilding our relationships in a way that helps each other, and lifts one another up.

I refuse to live in a world without Nina that isn't trying to be better. We have one life, one shot, and that is so much more acute without her here. You wouldn't meet a better soul than her. I remember her saying when she got sick. "Please, God. If I can help someone else, that is all I ask."

This podcast moving forward will be in honor of "Neen". Because she did help someone, me. In her own amazing way of being her, she has sent me in a direction that is a tad more clear. To help others. Just typing this out is making me feel better, more motivated, giving me life... even if I am crying doing it.

That is why I won't give up MOTM, my crazy ideas, or my uncertain dreams. I am trying to sit in the messy phase of this and rediscover what fills my cup. I want to help people, just like she wanted to. We were going to write a book together, Neen. To help those who going through cancer, and also the support people along side them. So we shall. I promise.

I ask you who are reading this, if you just stumbled upon this journey, or have been in my jitney since it's inception: Be gentle. I am raw, but trying to heal. It is an ongoing process. It is my wish that if you are like me right now, you find some peace, some rays of sunshine, hope, and the support you need.

I also kindly ask that you take a moment to give help to someone who may need it, to reach out, AND that you will ask for it when YOU need it. Maybe this episode will allow you to do so, like it did me. We are ALL in this together.

I love you, sis.

~Your Foos.

PS~ Thank you to those who helped me work out the title of this episode, I could not for the life of me get it right. This is a blend of what other's suggested.

I HAVE NEW SPONSORS! YAY! I have been searching for a WHILE to find the right fit for a collaboration opportunity to be able to support some local businesses, and also help keep the lights on over at MOTM. I finally found them, and like most things in life, they came naturally just looking at products I use everyday. You can take 10% at either of these companies with code "Marta"

My partnership between Marta on the Move and Body Work 412 and Yang Yin Health- has me giddy. Why did I choose them? or did they choose me... hmmm. Here is why-

Matcha from Yang Yin Health

1. Yang Yin Health- I love matcha and this is some of the best that I have found. If you have been listening to my show long enough you know that I don't drink coffee anymore. The caffeine gave me jitters, and was messing with my sleep and mood. Enter matcha! Pumped full of antioxidants, this ancient green tea actually regulates caffeine on a time release but also adds in a component called the Not all matcha are created equal! Beware some coffee shops using matcha, they have sweetener added in and a bunch of other crap to make it super green. I have tried matcha in every state I stay in, and have only found a handful of coffee companies that use quality matcha that is unsweetened. (Stay away from Starbucks matcha) The best way is to make it at home, use it in baking as well! This company is Pittsburgh based and sources their matcha directly to ensure that you are getting the best quality available. A little goes a long way. Listeners take 10% off their products with code "Marta"
2. Body Work 412- Know all those major essential oil companies out there? There are A LOT. I have seen so many people push essential oils, and I always kinda laughed at it. Here I am partnering with one! Years ago I receive a massage and reiki treatment from a gentleman named Cullen Magg from 412 Body Work. I studied reiki myself under him, and found out he creates and sources all his products direct from the source. Balms, creams, oils, room sprays and more. I loved each and every one of his products and began realizing that not all essential oils are created equally. You could go through an entire bottle of lavender or frankenscence oil SO FAST and the smell just disappates with other companies. Not with these, they last FOREVER. I have had my oil bottles for years and I use them on rotation every day. Try them and you won't believe the quality. There is not comparison with the other brands. There just isn't. Listeners take 10% off with code "Marta"