What if the key to greater pleasure, connection, and fulfillment is understanding your unique erotic wiring? In this episode, we explore the Erotic Blueprints™, a framework developed by somatic sexologist Jaiya that helps explain the different ways people experience desire, arousal, and intimacy. We unpack the five Erotic Blueprints—Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, and Shapeshifter—and explore how each type experiences pleasure differently.

We also share how this framework has become a valuable tool for relationships and individuals. Time and again, we've watched people experience powerful "aha" moments as they discover why certain experiences excite them, why others don't, and where misunderstandings with partners may be coming from. Understanding your blueprint can remove shame, increase self-awareness, and provide a new language for discussing desire, boundaries, and pleasure. We also share our own blueprint profiles and discuss how different types can learn to better understand and connect with one another.

Finally, we explore how Erotic Blueprints can enrich experiences within ethical non-monogamy and the lifestyle. The goal isn't to put yourself in a box, but to better understand your erotic "home" while remaining curious about other ways of experiencing pleasure. By learning each other's unique wiring, couples can expand their erotic vocabulary, deepen connection, and create more meaningful experiences together.

Mentioned in this episode:

Expansive Connection Coaching Events

The Erotic Blueprint with Miss Jaiya

Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months!

Book your Desire Resorts trip here

Trial membership to lifestyle dating sites Kasidie and SDC

Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: We Gotta Thing

In this episode, Dr Mitch from Expansive Connection joins us as we explore the powerful idea of "Opening the Circle" — the human need to feel welcomed, included, and connected. We talk about how the first question most people ask when entering any new environment isn't "What's going on here?" but "Do I belong here?" From friendships to community to ethical non-monogamy, creating spaces where people feel seen and valued can change lives.

We also share personal stories from our own journey in the lifestyle and the people who intentionally "opened the circle" for us through kindness, mentorship, hospitality, and connection. Along the way, we reflect on some of the challenges that can prevent true inclusion — competitiveness, scarcity mentality, ageism, and prioritizing physical connection over relational connection.

Finally, we discuss practical ways to "open the circle" in everyday life: noticing those on the margins, creating emotional safety, welcoming newcomers, and embracing people who are different from us. Whether in friendships, relationships, or community spaces, meaningful connection starts when someone chooses to make room for "one more person." We hope this conversation inspires you to think about who in your world may simply need an invitation, a kind word, or a reminder that they belong!

Mentioned in this episode:

Expansive Connection Coaching

Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months!

Book your Desire Resorts trip here

Trial membership to lifestyle dating sites Kasidie and SDC

Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: We Gotta Thing Playtime Dressed to Undress

In this episode we are reframing the traditional concept of "swinging" by moving away from labels that feel intimidating or misleading and instead embracing the broader concept of ethical non-monogamy. While the term "swinger" often implies casual sex with others and the word "lifestyle" is vague and overused, ethical non-monogamy better captures what you actually explore: intentional relationships with open boundaries that prioritize your primary partnership while allowing varying levels of intimacy with others.

This shift reflects how modern relationships are evolving and becoming more open and mainstream. By reframing the conversation, this episode aims to make the space more welcoming, less stigmatized, and easier for people to explore, helping you expand your boundaries and realize you're not alone. Ultimately, the message is that this approach creates room for people to discover and define their own version of connection—"their thing."

Mentioned in this episode:

Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months!

Book your Desire Resorts trip here

Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: We Gotta Thing Playtime Dressed to Undress

Trial membership to lifestyle dating sites Kasidie and SDC

In this episode, Kel from Expansive Connection discusses the pervasive issue of comparison, its roots in human evolution, and practical tools to manage it. The conversation explores how comparison impacts self-esteem, relationships, and the lifestyle, offering actionable strategies to foster self-acceptance and joy.

Key Topics

• The evolutionary roots of comparison and negativity bias
• How comparison distorts self-image and relationships
• Practical tools for managing comparison and envy
• The importance of self-awareness and evidence-based self-love
• Strategies for building confidence and connection

Mentioned in this episode:

Join the We Gotta Thing Community Contact Mr Jones for a Community Promo Code

Expansive Connection Website

We've talked about jealousy, we've talked about body image. We've discussed learning to flirt and being corageous in the lifestyle. But beneath the surface we all have insecurities about ourselves at the root of all these things! In this episode we share what we beleive are the causes of our insecurities, how they manifest themselves in our lifestlye journey and share tools to help overcome them to find freedom in being yourself and enjoying others!

Mentioned in this episode:

Luxe Music Studio- Playtime on Spotify (Music used with Permission)

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Here is some background on the four Luxe Music Studio songs previewed during this episode (with permission): "I Like to Share": We wanted a song that had an anthem-like chorus that we could imagine being played at lifestyle clubs, events and resorts. While the song focuses on a FFM experience, the theme stands on its own as a celebration of trust, non-jealousy and truly enjoying seeing your partner experience pleasure with others. I find it especially arousing, being bisexual, seeing a woman I find sexy and attractive having sexual fun with my husband. I sometimes like to direct the action so this song celebrates that aspect as well. "Dressed to Undress": We wrote this song to simply celebrate dressing up in sexy attire for the explicit purpose of taking it off during playtime experiences. We love that most of the clubs have themed nights where I can explore all types of sexy outfits for the sole purpose of feeling erotic and arousing others. We love the Halloween parties especially and still need to write a fun song about a swinger Halloween party. "Playtime": This is a track where we decided to scale back on the innuendos and get straight to the point: Celebrating pure, hedonistic, hardcore sex of all types. No romance, just chasing lust and pleasure without apology. The rhythm, speed, vibe and intensity of the track reinforces this theme. "Your Pleasure is Mine": A celebration of same room, full swap swinging. We really wanted to emphasize the point where a swinging couple with maturity, trust, and experience, can truly savor and enjoy the pleasure of watching your lover experience sex with another person while you do the same. A place where we think all swinging couples strive to be, one built on trust, open communication, honesty, clear boundaries, and respect.

There are no shortage of lifestyle sitiuations that will cause us some anxiety! Visiting a club for the first time, going on a first date, being rejected by others, wondering if our partner will 'find someone better,' performance issue worries....and so on.

What is actually going on in our brains when we feel anxious or depressed? How can we recognize what's really happening and deal with it in a healthy way? Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us as we help to address some of these very common concerns. Spoiler Alert: You are not alone in dealing with these feelings and emotions!

In this episode we review our trip to 'The Resort' which was first introduced by George in episode 137. The Resort is a new opportunity to step into ethical non-monogamy in a new format and market. This property is set on the cliffs of western Jamaica and is absolutely stunning! The views, the service, the food, the entertainment, the sensual vibe and of course the sexy people were all amazing! Spoiler alert: you won't be disappointed....

Mentioned in this episode:

The Resort website

Music by Pornoson (used with permission)

Devious Dragonfly Events

The Free We Gotta Thing Info Hub

Contact Mr Jones for a WGT community promo code

Can the lifestyle become an addiction? Well, it can if we don't recognize what's going on in our brains. In this episode with Catherine from Expansive Connection, we break down the key components at play including New Relationship Energy (NRE), Novelty, Desensation, the 'Pleasure Paradox' and how all of this shows up in our relationships. Of course we also discuss ways to recognize and respond when armed with this new knowledge!

Discussed in this episode:

Expansive Connection Coaching

The Hidden Brain Podcast: The Paradox of Pleasure

The Hidden Brain Podcast: The Path to Enough

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Request a WGT Community promo code from Mr Jones

What does it take to be 'successful' as a couple in the world of non-monogamy? In this episode we discuss waht we believe to be the four most important characteristics of a power couple in the lifestyle:

• Be Connected
• Be Curious
• Be Confident
• Be Approachable

Important Links:

Contact Mr Jones to request a WGT community trial discount promo code

Get access to the free We Gotta Thing Information Hub collection of resources

Learn how to be successful as a single guy in the lifestyle

Learn how to talk to your partner about non-monogamy

STD Hero testing kits discount

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Do you struggle with your understanding of how non-monogamy reconciles with a life of faith? Join us for a thought provoking conversation with Dr Mitch G, the newest member of the Expansive Connection coaching team. His training, experience, and specialization in religion and theology provides a helpful framework and understanding for those with religious backgrounds who find themselves struggling with their belief systems or plagued by shame, guilt, and fear over what they've been taught or once believed.

Dr Mitch's Education and Certifications

• B.A in Religion
• Master's degree in Theology
• Doctoral degree in Holistic Health
• Postive Psychology & Well-being Coaching Certification

Resources supporting this episode:

Join the We Gotta Thing Community!

Expansive Connection Coaching

Embracing Prodigals by John Sanders (Cascade Books, 2020)

How the Bible Actually Works by Peter Enns, PhD (Harper One, 2019)

Inspired by Rachel Held Evans (Nelson Books, 2018)

Better Ways to Read the Bible by Zack W. Lambert (Brazos Press, 2025)

"Why You Don't Want a Biblical Marriage" with Jennifer Bird, PhD (Podcast - The New Evangelicals)

Marriage in the Bible - What Do the Texts Say? by Jennifer G. Bird, PhD (Rowman & Littlefield, 2023)

Sex, God & the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy by Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD (Routledge, 2017)

Let's Talk About Sex - Challenging the Church's Stance on Sexual Morality by Glen Farell (Love Done Right, 2024) or their podcast "But is it Biblical" with Glen & Lydia Farell

Shameless - A Sexual Reformation by Nadia Bolz-Weber (Convergent, 2019)

Beyond Shame - Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms by Matthias Roberts (Fortress Press, 2020)

The Wisdom of Your Body - Finding Healing, Wholeness, and Connection through Embodied Living by Hillary McBride, PhD (Brazos Press, 2021)

NG Podcast - "Reconciling Religion & Non-monogamy" 9/10/2024

Casual Swinger Podcast - "Shame on you! - Love God" 12/16/2019

One of the most common concerns for those in the lifestyle or considering non-monogamy is the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection or disease. We invited Alan Brock, CEO, and Dr William Budd, Scientific Advisor from Better Life Sciences and STD Hero testing to discuss the realities, myths, modern testing practices and services available today.

We believe awareness and education along with affordable and accessible testing services comprise the most important aspects to create the best opportunity for safer sex for all in today's world.

Mentioned in this episode:

Better Life Science and STD Hero Testing

STD Hero testing kits discount

Free We Gotta Thing Information Hub Access

Contact Mr Jones to request a WGT community trial discount promo code

Follow us on 'X' and Instagram