Non-monogamy can be about much more than sex with other people. For us, it has enriched our relationship, created meaningful friendships, and changed the way we move through everyday life. In this episode, we explore how the lessons we've learned through ethical non-monogamy show up in our relationships with family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and even when meeting strangers.

We discuss the important distinction between being honest about who you are as a couple and oversharing the private details of your sex life. We've learned how to define our relationship on our own terms rather than allowing family, friends, religion, age, or societal expectations to define it for us.

Mentioned in this episode:

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Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: We Gotta Thing Playtime Dressed to Undress

Emotions are having a moment—and they're affecting everything from our broader culture to our most intimate relationships. In this episode, Kel from Expansive Connection joins us to explore how fear of uncomfortable feelings, emotional manipulation, codependency, and unregulated emotional expression can influence our decisions and cause harm. These challenges can become even more intense in ethical non-monogamy, where jealousy, insecurity, vulnerability, and uncertainty often bring powerful emotions to the surface. Navigating these adult relationships successfully requires an equally mature ability to understand and manage what we feel.

In this episode we'll examine how emotions are created in the brain, why they are essential, and how "affective realism" can cause us to mistake what we feel for what is objectively true. Kel also shares practical ways to strengthen emotional intelligence and emotional fitness—including noticing and naming feelings, pausing before reacting, separating feelings from facts, and communicating more effectively. Uncomfortable emotions are inevitable, but avoiding them means missing valuable opportunities for growth, deeper self-awareness, and stronger relationships.

Mentioned in this episode:

The Feelings Wheel

How We Feel

Expansive Connection Coaching

Join the We Gotta Thing Community

Sexuality is complex. Sexuality is diverse. Sexuality is More Than Monogamy.

More Than Monogamy is a feature-length documentary film about non-monogamy, polyamory, open relationships, swinging, kink, and ethical non-monogamy. The film explores the many relationship structures that exist beyond traditional monogamy, often referred to collectively as "The Lifestyle."

Combining real-life experiences with expert insight, this sexuality and relationships documentary is designed to be both educational and entertaining, offering clear explanations of modern relationship dynamics. The film examines why non-monogamous relationships can be deeply fulfilling for some individuals and couples—while also acknowledging why they may not be the right fit for everyone.

More Than Monogamy features in-depth interviews with leading experts in human sexuality, relationship psychology, sex education, and intimacy, including:

• Dr. Justin Lehmiller – sex researcher and author

• Dr. Liz Powell – licensed psychologist and relationship expert

• Kevin A. Patterson – writer and educator on race, sexuality, and polyamory

• Kitty Chambliss – author, certified coach, and relationship expert

• Billy Procida – podcast host and sexuality commentator

• Kenneth Play – intimacy coach and sex-positive educator

• Dirty Lola – sex educator and media personality

Through honest conversations and accessible storytelling, the film breaks down common myths surrounding polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, kink, and open relationships, while encouraging viewers to think critically about love, commitment, communication, and consent.

Whether you are curious about non-monogamy, already part of the lifestyle, or simply interested in learning more about modern relationships and sexuality, More Than Monogamy serves as an informative, respectful, and judgment-free introduction.

The Film https://www.morethanmonogamy.com/ Our Social media can be found on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok @morethanmonogamyfilm Dillon's work can be found here https://www.allthebirdsllc.com/ and his socials are @all.the.birds.film Spark Erotic Work can be found here https://sparkerotic.com https://urvashiseye.com

Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months!

Book your Desire Resorts trip here

Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: We Gotta Thing Playtime Dressed to Undress

Kink is often misunderstood, wrapped in myths, stereotypes, and cultural taboos that obscure what it's really about. In this episode, we unpack what kink is—and just as importantly, what it isn't. From broad definitions of BDSM and the idea that kink is simply "whatever is taboo for you," we explore why modern media often gets it wrong by focusing on shock value while overlooking the foundations of communication, consent, negotiation, safety, and aftercare. We'll also challenge common misconceptions that kink is abusive, anti-feminist, or only about pain.

Theresa from Expansive Connection will help us break down the different elements of BDSM and explain how many forms of play overlap, emphasizing that the labels matter far less than the connection and experience they create. Whether you're simply curious or already exploring, understanding the diversity of kink opens the door to seeing it through a much more informed and compassionate lens.

Most importantly, we'll discuss why so many couples and consensually non-monogamous relationships find value in exploring kink. Join us as we explore how embracing curiosity and authenticity can deepen intimacy, strengthen connection, and remind us that desire isn't something to fear—it's an opportunity to grow together.

Below are resources that referenced during this podcast:

- The Erotic Blueprints, Miss Jaiya: https://missjaiya.com/ - Midori: www.planetmidori.com - NCSF (National Coalition for Sexual Freedom): https://ncsfreedom.org/ - NOW (National Organization for Women): https://now.org/ - Journal of Sexual Medicine 2008 study "Demographic and Psychosocial Features of Participants in BDSM": https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2008.00795.x - Journal of Homosexuality 2006 study "Understanding Sadomasochism: An Empirical Examination of Four Perspectives": https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J082v50n02_07

The phrase "taking one for the team" is often treated as a hard boundary in ethical non-monogamy, but we think the reality is far more nuanced. For us, attraction is rarely determined by physical appearance alone. Decisions about whether to pursue a connection are influenced by a combination of factors including chemistry, personality, intelligence, behavior, relationship dynamics, safety, sobriety, and sometimes that unexplainable "ick" factor.

We also discuss whether there are times when "taking one for the team" can actually be a positive experience. When you feel emotionally and physically safe, genuinely enjoy someone's company, and trust a couple you've come to know, a lack of immediate physical attraction or chemistry doesn't necessarily have to end the conversation. By keeping an open mind, couples may discover rewarding experiences and relationships they otherwise would have overlooked.

Ultimately, deciding whether to play should always be a mutual decision made without pressure, guilt, or obligation—and any "no" should be accepted graciously and without lingering consequences. We believe there is a spectrum between holding out for the elusive perfect four-way connection and feeling obligated to "take one for the team."

Mentioned in this episode:

Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months!

Strictly Anonymous podcast with Mr Jones cancer story

Book your Desire Resorts trip here

Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: We Gotta Thing Playtime Dressed to Undress

More Than Monogamy documentary

What if the key to greater pleasure, connection, and fulfillment is understanding your unique erotic wiring? In this episode, we explore the Erotic Blueprints™, a framework developed by somatic sexologist Jaiya that helps explain the different ways people experience desire, arousal, and intimacy. We unpack the five Erotic Blueprints—Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, and Shapeshifter—and explore how each type experiences pleasure differently.

We also share how this framework has become a valuable tool for relationships and individuals. Time and again, we've watched people experience powerful "aha" moments as they discover why certain experiences excite them, why others don't, and where misunderstandings with partners may be coming from. Understanding your blueprint can remove shame, increase self-awareness, and provide a new language for discussing desire, boundaries, and pleasure. We also share our own blueprint profiles and discuss how different types can learn to better understand and connect with one another.

Finally, we explore how Erotic Blueprints can enrich experiences within ethical non-monogamy and the lifestyle. The goal isn't to put yourself in a box, but to better understand your erotic "home" while remaining curious about other ways of experiencing pleasure. By learning each other's unique wiring, couples can expand their erotic vocabulary, deepen connection, and create more meaningful experiences together.

Mentioned in this episode:

Expansive Connection Coaching Events

The Erotic Blueprint with Miss Jaiya

Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months!

Book your Desire Resorts trip here

Trial membership to lifestyle dating sites Kasidie and SDC

Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: We Gotta Thing

In this episode, Dr Mitch from Expansive Connection joins us as we explore the powerful idea of "Opening the Circle" — the human need to feel welcomed, included, and connected. We talk about how the first question most people ask when entering any new environment isn't "What's going on here?" but "Do I belong here?" From friendships to community to ethical non-monogamy, creating spaces where people feel seen and valued can change lives.

We also share personal stories from our own journey in the lifestyle and the people who intentionally "opened the circle" for us through kindness, mentorship, hospitality, and connection. Along the way, we reflect on some of the challenges that can prevent true inclusion — competitiveness, scarcity mentality, ageism, and prioritizing physical connection over relational connection.

Finally, we discuss practical ways to "open the circle" in everyday life: noticing those on the margins, creating emotional safety, welcoming newcomers, and embracing people who are different from us. Whether in friendships, relationships, or community spaces, meaningful connection starts when someone chooses to make room for "one more person." We hope this conversation inspires you to think about who in your world may simply need an invitation, a kind word, or a reminder that they belong!

Mentioned in this episode:

Expansive Connection Coaching

Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months!

Book your Desire Resorts trip here

Trial membership to lifestyle dating sites Kasidie and SDC

Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: We Gotta Thing Playtime Dressed to Undress

In this episode we are reframing the traditional concept of "swinging" by moving away from labels that feel intimidating or misleading and instead embracing the broader concept of ethical non-monogamy. While the term "swinger" often implies casual sex with others and the word "lifestyle" is vague and overused, ethical non-monogamy better captures what you actually explore: intentional relationships with open boundaries that prioritize your primary partnership while allowing varying levels of intimacy with others.

This shift reflects how modern relationships are evolving and becoming more open and mainstream. By reframing the conversation, this episode aims to make the space more welcoming, less stigmatized, and easier for people to explore, helping you expand your boundaries and realize you're not alone. Ultimately, the message is that this approach creates room for people to discover and define their own version of connection—"their thing."

Mentioned in this episode:

Contact Mr Jones for a promo code to try the We Gotta Thing community for three months!

Book your Desire Resorts trip here

Music used with permission from Luxe Music Studios: We Gotta Thing Playtime Dressed to Undress

Trial membership to lifestyle dating sites Kasidie and SDC

In this episode, Kel from Expansive Connection discusses the pervasive issue of comparison, its roots in human evolution, and practical tools to manage it. The conversation explores how comparison impacts self-esteem, relationships, and the lifestyle, offering actionable strategies to foster self-acceptance and joy.

Key Topics

• The evolutionary roots of comparison and negativity bias
• How comparison distorts self-image and relationships
• Practical tools for managing comparison and envy
• The importance of self-awareness and evidence-based self-love
• Strategies for building confidence and connection

Mentioned in this episode:

Join the We Gotta Thing Community Contact Mr Jones for a Community Promo Code

Expansive Connection Website

We've talked about jealousy, we've talked about body image. We've discussed learning to flirt and being corageous in the lifestyle. But beneath the surface we all have insecurities about ourselves at the root of all these things! In this episode we share what we beleive are the causes of our insecurities, how they manifest themselves in our lifestlye journey and share tools to help overcome them to find freedom in being yourself and enjoying others!

Mentioned in this episode:

Luxe Music Studio- Playtime on Spotify (Music used with Permission)

Contact us for a promo code to try our WGT Community

Visit our website

Join our WGT Community

Follow us on Instagram and 'X'

Here is some background on the four Luxe Music Studio songs previewed during this episode (with permission): "I Like to Share": We wanted a song that had an anthem-like chorus that we could imagine being played at lifestyle clubs, events and resorts. While the song focuses on a FFM experience, the theme stands on its own as a celebration of trust, non-jealousy and truly enjoying seeing your partner experience pleasure with others. I find it especially arousing, being bisexual, seeing a woman I find sexy and attractive having sexual fun with my husband. I sometimes like to direct the action so this song celebrates that aspect as well. "Dressed to Undress": We wrote this song to simply celebrate dressing up in sexy attire for the explicit purpose of taking it off during playtime experiences. We love that most of the clubs have themed nights where I can explore all types of sexy outfits for the sole purpose of feeling erotic and arousing others. We love the Halloween parties especially and still need to write a fun song about a swinger Halloween party. "Playtime": This is a track where we decided to scale back on the innuendos and get straight to the point: Celebrating pure, hedonistic, hardcore sex of all types. No romance, just chasing lust and pleasure without apology. The rhythm, speed, vibe and intensity of the track reinforces this theme. "Your Pleasure is Mine": A celebration of same room, full swap swinging. We really wanted to emphasize the point where a swinging couple with maturity, trust, and experience, can truly savor and enjoy the pleasure of watching your lover experience sex with another person while you do the same. A place where we think all swinging couples strive to be, one built on trust, open communication, honesty, clear boundaries, and respect.

There are no shortage of lifestyle sitiuations that will cause us some anxiety! Visiting a club for the first time, going on a first date, being rejected by others, wondering if our partner will 'find someone better,' performance issue worries....and so on.

What is actually going on in our brains when we feel anxious or depressed? How can we recognize what's really happening and deal with it in a healthy way? Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us as we help to address some of these very common concerns. Spoiler Alert: You are not alone in dealing with these feelings and emotions!