Faith, hope, and love are beautiful words—but for many of us, they don't feel simple or safe. When they've been wielded to control, silence, or shame, these core concepts can carry weight, confusion, and even fear. In the wake of spiritual abuse, what once promised life can feel distorted or out of reach.

Today, Dan and Rachael step tenderly and courageously into what it means to reclaim faith, hope, and love after harm.

Rather than treating faith as certainty, hope as optimism, or love as obedience, they reframe these virtues as deeply human, relational realities: faith as trust, hope as imagination for a future shaped by goodness, and love as a force grounded in honor, freedom, and delight.

Together, they name how spiritual abuse exploits fear and shame to protect power—fracturing our ability to trust ourselves, others, and even God.

Healing doesn't begin with forcing a set of dogmatic beliefs, but with safety: learning to listen to our bodies, recover discernment, and engage relationships where difference and nuance are welcomed.

This conversation is for anyone longing to rediscover a faith that makes room for personhood, courage, and love that does not demand fear in return.

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About the Allender Center Podcast:

For over a decade, the Allender Center Podcast has offered honest, thoughtful conversations about the deep work of healing and transformation. Hosted by Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen, MDiv, this weekly podcast explores the complexities of trauma, abuse recovery, story, relationships, and spiritual formation. Through questions submitted by listeners, stories, interviews, and conversations, we engage the deep places of heartache and hope that are rarely addressed so candidly in our culture today. Join the Allender Center Podcast to uncover meaningful perspectives and support for your path to healing and growth.

At the Allender Center, we value thoughtful dialogue across a wide range of voices, stories, and lived experiences. In that spirit, our podcast features guests and hosts who may hold differing perspectives. The perspectives shared on this podcast by guests and hosts reflect their own experiences and viewpoints and do not necessarily represent the views, positions, or endorsements of the Allender Center and/or The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology.

Stream each episode, plus find transcripts, additional resources, and more at:

theallendercenter.org/podcast

To become a supporter of the Allender Center Podcast, visit:

https://theallendercenter.org/2025/11/podcast-support/

Most of us say we value the truth—until it unsettles us, costs us something, or asks us to change. Truth has a way of disrupting the stories we use to survive.

That's exactly what we're talking about on the podcast today. Dr. Monique Gadson joins Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to explore why truth-telling feels so threatening—personally, relationally, and culturally.

Drawing from systems theory, theology, and her lived experience, Dr. Gadson names anxiety as the central force that keeps us from truth. When we lack the capacity to tolerate the discomfort truth brings, we turn to projection, delusion, scapegoating, and certainty as coping mechanisms. What begins as an inability to regulate anxiety within families and relationships spills outward into institutions, churches, and society itself, resulting in polarization, blame, and a deep resistance to accountability.

The conversation presses especially hard on the role of Christians in this moment. Rather than leading the way in humility, repentance, and truth-bearing love, the church is often entangled in systems that suppress truth to protect power, purity narratives, or a false sense of goodness.

Dr. Gadson speaks candidly about the cost of being a truth teller, particularly as a Black woman, and the reality of being scapegoated for disrupting dominant stories. Yet she also offers a grounded hope: freedom comes through differentiation, integrity, and the slow, courageous work of managing anxiety rather than projecting it onto others. Truth, she reminds us, is not about annihilating one another, but about creating the conditions where real relationship, responsibility, and repair are possible.

Ultimately, this episode invites us to ask not only what is true, but what does truth stir in us—and can we bear it?

As Dan reflects, the truth both attracts and repels us—and our prayer may simply be, "I believe; help my unbelief."

This is a conversation for anyone longing to live with greater integrity, emotional maturity, and faithfulness in a world that increasingly struggles to tell—and receive—the truth.

About the Allender Center Podcast: For over a decade, the Allender Center Podcast has offered honest, thoughtful conversations about the deep work of healing and transformation. Hosted by Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen, MDiv, this weekly podcast explores the complexities of trauma, abuse recovery, story, relationships, and spiritual formation. Through questions submitted by listeners, stories, interviews, and conversations, we engage the deep places of heartache and hope that are rarely addressed so candidly in our culture today. Join the Allender Center Podcast to uncover meaningful perspectives and support for your path to healing and growth. At the Allender Center, we value thoughtful dialogue across a wide range of voices, stories, and lived experiences. In that spirit, our podcast features guests and hosts who may hold differing perspectives. The perspectives shared on this podcast by guests and hosts reflect their own experiences and viewpoints and do not necessarily represent the views, positions, or endorsements of the Allender Center and/or The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Stream each episode, plus find transcripts, additional resources, and more at: theallendercenter.org/podcast To become a supporter of the Allender Center Podcast, visit: https://theallendercenter.org/2025/11/podcast-support/

"What if the sacred is not somewhere else? What if it's right here and right now?"

In this rich and reflective episode of the Allender Center Podcast, Dan and Rachael welcome theologian, author, and beloved mentor Dr. Keith Anderson.

Drawing from his book, "On Holy Ground: Your Story of Identity, Belonging, and Sacred Purpose," Keith invites us to reconsider vocation not as a role, title, or single decision made when you're young, but as a lifelong relationship with Jesus. It's one shaped by seasons, suffering, questions, and ordinary faithfulness.

Together, they explore how calling is formed not in abstraction, but in the particularity of our stories: our bodies, our sufferings, our relationships, and our hope.

If you are asking questions about purpose, identity, belonging, or how to remain open-hearted amid suffering and uncertainty, this episode is a gift. It's a reminder that vocation is not about getting it right once, but about learning, again and again, how to live your life with God.

*This episode contains discussions of addiction and includes a quoted derogatory term. Listener discretion is advised.

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About the Allender Center Podcast: For over a decade, the Allender Center Podcast has offered honest, thoughtful conversations about the deep work of healing and transformation. Hosted by Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen, MDiv, this weekly podcast explores the complexities of trauma, abuse recovery, story, relationships, and spiritual formation. Through questions submitted by listeners, stories, interviews, and conversations, we engage the deep places of heartache and hope that are rarely addressed so candidly in our culture today. Join the Allender Center Podcast to uncover meaningful perspectives and support for your path to healing and growth. At the Allender Center, we value thoughtful dialogue across a wide range of voices, stories, and lived experiences. In that spirit, our podcast features guests and hosts who may hold differing perspectives. The perspectives shared on this podcast by guests and hosts reflect their own experiences and viewpoints and do not necessarily represent the views, positions, or endorsements of the Allender Center and/or The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Stream each episode, plus find transcripts, additional resources, and more at: theallendercenter.org/podcast To become a supporter of the Allender Center Podcast, visit: https://theallendercenter.org/2025/11/podcast-support/

The new year can bring the hope of a fresh start… or the dread of more of the same.

In this first episode of the year, Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen name what many of us are already feeling: life feels heavy, noisy, and hard to keep up with.

They talk about the "stone in the shoe" of modern life—how distraction, overwhelm, and unresolved trauma slowly wear us down—and share practical ways to respond. That might look like stepping back from constant media, creating gentle daily rhythms of prayer, worship, and Scripture, or using journaling and writing to slow your thoughts and reconnect with what matters most.

At the heart of the conversation is a simple but challenging invitation: to stay awake to suffering without losing hope, and to let love, humility, and courage shape how we live. Reflecting on Romans 12, we're invited to resist chaos and despair and instead lean into the kind of formation that only comes from following Jesus.

This episode is about 40 minutes long. After listening, consider taking a few extra minutes (maybe even more than a few) to reflect on how you want to enter the new year: more grounded, more aware, and more spiritually centered.

As Dan says in closing, "It would be great if it's a happy new Year… but may it be one in which our lives are more formed in Jesus."

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About the Allender Center Podcast: For over a decade, the Allender Center Podcast has offered honest, thoughtful conversations about the deep work of healing and transformation. Hosted by Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen, MDiv, this weekly podcast explores the complexities of trauma, abuse recovery, story, relationships, and spiritual formation. Through questions submitted by listeners, stories, interviews, and conversations, we engage the deep places of heartache and hope that are rarely addressed so candidly in our culture today. Join the Allender Center Podcast to uncover meaningful perspectives and support for your path to healing and growth. At the Allender Center, we value thoughtful dialogue across a wide range of voices, stories, and lived experiences. In that spirit, our podcast features guests and hosts who may hold differing perspectives. The perspectives shared on this podcast by guests and hosts reflect their own experiences and viewpoints and do not necessarily represent the views, positions, or endorsements of the Allender Center and/or The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Stream each episode, plus find transcripts, additional resources, and more at: theallendercenter.org/podcast To become a supporter of the Allender Center Podcast, visit: https://theallendercenter.org/2025/11/podcast-support/

As the year comes to a close, Dan and Becky Allender continue their annual podcast tradition: pausing to reflect on the year that has passed. They share a bit about their own experiences—what they've learned, what they're grieving, and what they're celebrating—as they prepare to enter a new season.

Together, they invite you to also pause and reflect: What moments from your year need remembering? What relationships could use repair or deeper care? What desires and hopes might God be stirring in your heart for the year ahead?

We are deeply grateful for your presence and support of the Allender Center Podcast in 2025. As we step into 2026, we look forward to continuing this journey together!

About the Allender Center Podcast: For over a decade, the Allender Center Podcast has offered honest, thoughtful conversations about the deep work of healing and transformation. Hosted by Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen, MDiv, this weekly podcast explores the complexities of trauma, abuse recovery, story, relationships, and spiritual formation. Through questions submitted by listeners, stories, interviews, and conversations, we engage the deep places of heartache and hope that are rarely addressed so candidly in our culture today. Join the Allender Center Podcast to uncover meaningful perspectives and support for your path to healing and growth. At the Allender Center, we value thoughtful dialogue across a wide range of voices, stories, and lived experiences. In that spirit, our podcast features guests and hosts who may hold differing perspectives. The perspectives shared on this podcast by guests and hosts reflect their own experiences and viewpoints and do not necessarily represent the views, positions, or endorsements of the Allender Center and/or The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Stream each episode, plus find transcripts, additional resources, and more at: theallendercenter.org/podcast To become a supporter of the Allender Center Podcast, visit: https://theallendercenter.org/2025/11/podcast-support/

This Advent season, Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen are joined by Rev. Dr. Michael Chen for a rich and deeply human conversation about the Trinity and what it reveals to us about God, ourselves, and our relationships with others.

Together, they explore how the mystery of one God in three persons shapes our understanding of love, relationality, and beauty—particularly in the context of Advent, when we reflect on God's incarnation and presence in the world.

This episode is an invitation to pause, wonder, and engage your heart with the presence of God in this season of anticipation.

The podcast will take a short break next week for the holiday, but we'll be back on December 26 with an end-of-year reflection from Dan and Becky Allender.

As we begin the Advent season, Dan and Rachael welcome writer and theologian Blaine Eldredge back to the podcast for a sweeping, story-rich journey into history, theology, and the fierce hope of the incarnation.

If you love church history or the nuance of theological debate, this episode is a feast. And if you don't consider yourself a scholar, you're still fully invited in, because the questions raised here reach all of us who long for God-with-us in turbulent times.

They approach Advent by way of one of the most compelling figures of the early church: Athanasius, the fourth-century bishop whose devotion to the incarnation shaped Christian belief for generations.

This episode invites you to consider what it means that God took on flesh amid conflict, upheaval, and hope that refuses to be extinguished. It's a rich, timely conversation for this season of waiting and wonder.

Loneliness is a human experience, but it's one we don't always acknowledge honestly. In this deeply personal conversation, Dan and Rachael open up about the moments when loneliness and suffering make us unsure of what we need, what we want, or how to ask for help.

They also zoom out: why loneliness is rising, how our culture quietly reinforces isolation, and why recognizing our ache for connection is a sign of our humanity, not our failure.

You probably won't find quick fixes or step-by-step solutions in this conversation. Rather, consider this episode an invitation to reflect on your own ambivalence, your desire for connection, and the quiet, messy courage it takes to reach out—both when you feel lonely and when you sense someone else might be, too.

Helps us continue creating thoughtful, trauma-informed, spiritually grounded content. Become an Allender Center Podcast supporter with a monthly gift today.

Thanksgiving is right around the corner. It can be a day of tradition, family, and connection. It can also bring tension, exhaustion, grief, or even trigger old wounds.

Today, Dan and Rachael reflect on the complex reality of the holiday: the joy, the nostalgia, the chaos, and the moments that can leave us feeling overwhelmed or even "devoured" by family dynamics.

Drawing on their own stories and looking ahead to this year's holiday, they explore how to hold gratitude alongside grief, and how to create meaningful connection without losing yourself.

Whether you're hosting, traveling, or creating a quiet space for yourself, this conversation offers gentle guidance and practical tools. You'll learn how to approach Thanksgiving with intention, better honor your boundaries, and participate with a heart that's more open to the day, however it unfolds.

Marriage always carries both joy and challenge… but what happens when life pushes you to the edge? When trauma, illness, loss, stress, or sheer exhaustion stretch your relationship beyond its limits?

In this tender and often humorous conversation, Rachael Clinton Chen interviews Dan and Becky Allender to explore what it means to love and be loved through seasons of extremity—those times when the demands of life exceed our capacity to meet them.

From everyday frustrations to the deep pain of seasons of loss, physical suffering, and ministry fatigue, Dan and Becky reflect honestly on how marriage can expose both our best and our most broken parts.

If you're wondering how to stay connected when life feels impossible—or how to find beauty and intimacy on the other side of pain—this episode is a gentle invitation to hope.

This episode engages the topic of some difficult topics, including pregnancy loss. Listener discretion is advised.

Ever have a day where everything goes sideways and your body just won't calm down? In this episode, Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen explore emotional dysregulation: why our nervous systems spiral under stress, especially with a history of trauma, and how we can respond with mercy rather than shame.

Through humor, real-life stories, and insights from both neuroscience and Scripture, they show that dysregulation isn't weakness; it's a signal from your body asking for care and compassion. Their conversation also offers practical ways to tend to your body, mind, and soul.

Listener Resources:

• Read: Aundi Kolber's Try Softer and Strong Like Water

• Read: Resmaa Manakem's My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies

• Listen to: Self Care and Practical Grounding Techniques on the Allender Center Podcast

Download the free worksheet: Beyond Self-Care: Build Sustainable Practices from the Center for Transforming Engagement at The Seattle School