You know, sometimes you spend your young adulthood worshipping Satan, being a dirty heretic basking in the glory of His evil. And then, sometimes, inexplicably, you find God and dedicate your life to him. You even adopt a child and plan to raise her with a steady diet of God's love.

And then what does Satan do? HE SHOWS UP ON YOUR DOORSTEP IN THE GUISE OF A CHURCH GARGOYLE AND DECIDES IF HE CAN'T HAVE YOU, HE'S GOING TO POSSESS THE BABY! Satan: What a bastard. So now you have to spend your life with the child attached at your hip, praying the evil away. Meanwhile, the child grows into adulthood, marries some dude, and the dude is semi-infected by your evil and abuses your children, and...

Fuck it, it's nuttier than it sounds; just listen to us talk about THE VOICES OF OUR MOTHER (2:11) on the episode. Over on Patreon, Evan and Dave discuss the 1962 CAPE FEAR.

Steven Spielberg's aliens-are-among-us-and-we're-gonna-prove-it blockbuster is out, and Dave and Evan have seen it. And they liked it! Mostly! There are many odd choices in DISCLOSURE DAY (1:29), but also lots of things that are rather nifty, beginning with Emily Blunt's bravura performance. Over on Patreon, we talk about the 1995 anthology film FOUR ROOMS.

Not to be confused with SEVEN SAMURAI, SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS, THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, SE7EN, or SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS, it's SEVEN SNIPERS (2:53), a movie Dave proclaims is not a movie. It's a scenario. And sort of a good one. Just with some of the shittiest execution you've ever seen.

First, there's Radha Mitchell as a retired sniper raising her soon-to-be 16-year-old daughter on an isloated farm in Australia. Okay, no problems there. Second, there's word that a nasty AF sniper by played Tim Roth is coming for Mitchell in order to kill her and probably do something else that will be completely obvious to anyone who has ever watched a movie.

(Tim Roth as an elite sniper? As fine an actor as Roth is, he is neither Evan nor Dave's first choice to portray a killing machine. But whatever. Moving on.)

Third, Mitchell calls in a favor, and one of her old military chums brings himself and four other elite snipers to guard the farm. It begs the question: How much money does elite fomer sniper Mitchell have?

Fourth, ALL THESE ELITE SNIPERS STAND IN FRONT OF OPEN WINDOWS IN BROAD DAYLIGHT FOR THE ENTIRE RUNNING TIME. Fifth, enough. Just listen to us tear this thing apart.

Over on Patreon, we watch Chris Pine's directorial debute POOLMAN.

Well, we won't mince words: LADIES FIRST (3:37) is some bullshit. In fact, it may be the worst movie Evan and Dave have seen in 2026 (and we haven't forgotten DOOBA DOOBA). No, LADIES FIRST is a special kind of movie; it's absolutely thoughtless, largely devoid of wit, and it doesn't play by rules it sets for itself. Stars Sacha Baron Cohen and Rosamund Pike, and a largely well-known cast of English acting heavyweights, slum it. This movie is so bad it's kind of a miracle. And it also fails confidently, so take that and it thoughtlessness, and you have a truly mind-blowing piece of shit. Over on Patreon, we talk about Ben Affleck's THE TOWN.

This week Evan takes a trip George Lucasville with THE MANDALORIAN AND GROGU (3:18) and Dave scratches his music itch with TUNER (24:08), about a piano tuner-turned-safecracker with the best sound design Dave has heard in a while. Over on Patreon, Dave and Evan talk about the asoblutely bonkers 1981 stalker film THE FAN, starring Lauren Bacall, James Garner, and a very young Michael Biehn.

This week Evan and Dave take in the latest movie that unfolds entirely on computer screens: LIFEHACK. As they both liked UNFRIENDED, SEARCHING, and MISSING, they were down to check out this different scenario, as no one is dead or missing or a ghost. Nah, in this iteration, the four main characters are trying to pull off a massive crypto heist. But the crypto in question is owned by a slimy totally-not-Jeff-Bezos-or-Elon-Musk dude, so needless to say security is tight, and if they get caught THERE MAY BE BLOOD (to coin a phrase). Oh, and there are lots of tangents in this episode. Over on Patreon, we discuss READY OR NOT 2: HERE I COME, the sequel to...oh, just guess.

Imagine it's 1979. You queue up to see STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE over the holidays. You're super psyched. Not since "Space Seed" have you been so high on the idea of boarding the Enterprise. And then you see ST:TMP and feel like you'd have more fun watching a documentary of William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy talking about taking a shit than you would watching that bloated, dull, space opera.

Now imagine it's 1982. You queue up to watch WRATH OF KHAN because it can't be worse than TMP, right? And not only is it not worse, IT'S FUCKING GANGBUSTERS, THE BEST STAR TREK MOVIE ANYONE WILL EVER MAKE, SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER, FUCK YEAH!

Now imagine this same scenario, except instead of TMP it's MORTAL KOMBAT from 2021, and WRATH OF KHAN is MORTAL KOMBAT II (3:04). That's right. MORTAL KOMBAT II IS FUCKING GANGBUSTERS, THE BEST MORTAL KOMBAT MOVIE ANYONE WILL EVER MAKE (probably), FINISH HIM, MOTHERFUCKER, FUCK YEAH!

Or something like that. Over on Patreon, we talk about Walter Hill's 1982 classic 48 HRS.

This week Evan and Dave dive into THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA 2 (and by extension, its predecessor DARBY O'GILL AND THE LITTLE PEOPLE). They're both recently (re)acquainted with TDWP from 2006, and they're into the movie's plot driver: The dying journalism industry. But TDWP2 is a movie that wants to have some real-world commentary while also providing escapism, so...does it work? Eh? In any event, it's lovely to Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt, and Stanley Tucci sharing a movie screen again. Over on Patreon, we talk about the 2007 thriller BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Ethan Hawke.

This week Dave touches briefly on the documentary LORNE (3:10), about the "Saturday Night Live" creator Lorne Michaels. Then he and Evan talk about FUZE (4:25), the latest from director David Mackenzie, probably known best for HELL OR HIGH WATER (listen to our take here, with our first co-host Kris Jenson; we covered Mackenzie's RELAY on Patreon a couple months back). In FUZE, a British Army major tries to defuse an undetonated World War II bomb in central London while a group of diamond thieves uses the brouhaha surrounding it as cover for a heist. On this week's Patreon episode, we talk about the 1996 comedy-drama BIG NIGHT.

This week Dave checked out the new Bob Odenkirk splatter-fest, NORMAL. Odenkirk co-wrote the story and stars as a temp sheriff who's sent to the tiny burg of Normal, Minn., to hold things down until the town has a special election in eight weeks to replace their recently deceased big cheese law man. But as fate would have it (and contrivance), he finds himself knee-deep in Yakuza money and town is so corrupt that even the lady who owns the yarn store is in on the deal. So, is NORMAL Odenkirk's next NOBODY? Nah. (How's that for alliteration?) But it has its moments. Then Evan and Dave talk about Jonah Hill's latest turn as director, OUTCOME, starring Keanu Reeves as an actor who's just getting past heroin addiction and rebuilding his life, and trying to repair all the bridges he burned along the way. Somebody should have repaired the fuggin' script. Over on Patreon, we talk about the 2009 thriller TRIANGLE.

This week Evan and Dave bring back that ol' chestnut, "Riedel's Recaps," and Dave gives expletive-laden mini-reviews for PROJECT HAIL MARY and UNDERTONE (2:28). Then they move on to the main feature this week, HAMLET (7:50). Yep! Someone made HAMLET again! This adaptation stars Riz Ahmed as the title character, and Dave and Evan are of mixed feelings about this one. Over on Patreon, we talk about FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH from 1982.