We're slinging into this week's episode...webslinging that is, because we're reviewing SPIDER-MAN: BRAND NEW DAY (2:22). Tom Holland and Zendaya are back as Peter Parker and MJ, but this time they have to find their way back to each other in the wake of SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME's events. (By the way, how is the last live-action Spider-Man movie already from five years ago?!)

With the world having forgotten Peter Parker ever existed, our favorite wall-crawler has to face a powerful new villain while battling his own worst instinct: that he has to handle everything alone. Is it the best Spider-Man movie? Probably not. BRAND NEW DAY has plenty of great ideas, but too many of them feel underdeveloped. It runs longer than it needs to, and at times feels less like a complete story and more like a setup for whatever Marvel has planned next. In other news, in this week's Patreon exclusive audio, we're reviewing the winner of our Sam Neill poll, THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER!

Yep, we're reviewing a movie called THE DINK (1:38), named after a type of shot in Pickleball - a real sport - called a "dink." No, we're not making that up, and yes, Evan and Dave really watched this movie, which stars Jake Johnson, Mary Steenburgen, and Ed Harris. Johnson is a long-washed up tennis player, Steenburgen is his pickleball partner, and Harris is his father.

Anyway, one member of Spoilerpiece really liked THE DINK, and one just hated it. Hated it. Can you guess which is the liker and which one isn't? Over on Patreon, we talk about the 1986 film STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME, in honor of its fortieth anniversary.

This week Evan and Dave sat side by side in the movie house (notably not an IMAX movie house) to watch THE ODYSSEY (2:44), Christopher Nolan's film of Homer's epic poem. Because after OPPENHEIMER, what do you do? Swords and sandals, obviously.

Look, folks. This film is long. But it's engaging, has an incredible score, and Matt Damon gives the performance of this career, along with excellent work from Anne Hathaway, John Leguizamo, Robert Pattinson, Himesh Patel, and Samantha Morton. Evan is on board with the movie, and Dave is, too, though they're both ambivalent about Nolan, and they go down that rabbit hole, too.

And Spoilerpiece is 12 years old! Wow! We'd make a joke about time flying, but nah. We just go through some of the ups and downs and then get the hell off the mic. Over on Patreon, we talk about NOBODY 2.

This week Dave was happy to see GAIL DAUGHTRY AND THE CELEBRITY SEX PASS (1:34) - Evan less so - a comedy by director David Wain with a screenplay by Wain and Ken Marino, members of the 1990s sketch comedy group "The State." Eight members of "The State" appear, including Marino, and there are a billion celebrity cameos as Kansas hairdresser Gail Daughtry (Zoey Deutch) and her friend Otto run around L.A. trying to find Jon Hamm so she can fuck him (because her fiancé used his celebrity sex pass to bone Jennifer Aniston after a book reading in their town).

Yes, it's as absolutely bonkers as it sounds. And if you're not into anti-humor, senseless violence, and intentionally unfunny jokes played completely straight, this may not be the movie for you. But it was for Dave! Over on Patreon, we talk about the 1981 slasher THE BURNING.

It's one of those weeks over at Spoilerpiece when one of us is pretty neutral about a movie, and the other is pretty irritated (by the movie; not, like, by life). Such is the quandary of ENOLA HOLMES 3. The Millie Bobby Brown-starring series about Sherlock Holmes younger sister is the kind of thing that makes Evan bristle, and makes Dave pretty - what's the word...noncommital?

One thing both Evan and Dave agree on: This movie has a lot of plot for a picture that's pretty short but feels pretty long ("More endings than RETURN OF THE KING," says Evan). eek! Not high praise. Over on Patreon, we watch FIRST BLOOD and RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II.

Given how many films have been made about WWII, it's impressive when one tells a new story, like Rod Lurie's action drama LUCKY STRIKE (1:47), which follows a wounded American soldier (Scott Eastwood) stranded behind enemy lines during the Battle of the Bulge. Scott Eastwood looks more like his dad, Clint, than he ever has, but unfortunately, looks don't mean he inherited his father's charisma. His blandness definitely hurts the movie. Also, its plot follows predictable beats, and not much is really surprising. However, its period accuracy, harrowing encounters with Nazis, and decent war set pieces make it surprisingly watchable. Evan and Dave are split on whether you should see it as well, so they come up with a new rating system for the show.

In the Patreon exclusive audio this week, Evan and Dave talk about TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE, the winner of our poll of movies with "America" or "American" in the title. It's a really fun conversation, so check it out, Patrons!

You know, sometimes you spend your young adulthood worshipping Satan, being a dirty heretic basking in the glory of His evil. And then, sometimes, inexplicably, you find God and dedicate your life to him. You even adopt a child and plan to raise her with a steady diet of God's love.

And then what does Satan do? HE SHOWS UP ON YOUR DOORSTEP IN THE GUISE OF A CHURCH GARGOYLE AND DECIDES IF HE CAN'T HAVE YOU, HE'S GOING TO POSSESS THE BABY! Satan: What a bastard. So now you have to spend your life with the child attached at your hip, praying the evil away. Meanwhile, the child grows into adulthood, marries some dude, and the dude is semi-infected by your evil and abuses your children, and...

Fuck it, it's nuttier than it sounds; just listen to us talk about THE VOICES OF OUR MOTHER (2:11) on the episode. Over on Patreon, Evan and Dave discuss the 1962 CAPE FEAR.

Steven Spielberg's aliens-are-among-us-and-we're-gonna-prove-it blockbuster is out, and Dave and Evan have seen it. And they liked it! Mostly! There are many odd choices in DISCLOSURE DAY (1:29), but also lots of things that are rather nifty, beginning with Emily Blunt's bravura performance. Over on Patreon, we talk about the 1995 anthology film FOUR ROOMS.

Not to be confused with SEVEN SAMURAI, SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS, THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, SE7EN, or SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS, it's SEVEN SNIPERS (2:53), a movie Dave proclaims is not a movie. It's a scenario. And sort of a good one. Just with some of the shittiest execution you've ever seen.

First, there's Radha Mitchell as a retired sniper raising her soon-to-be 16-year-old daughter on an isloated farm in Australia. Okay, no problems there. Second, there's word that a nasty AF sniper by played Tim Roth is coming for Mitchell in order to kill her and probably do something else that will be completely obvious to anyone who has ever watched a movie.

(Tim Roth as an elite sniper? As fine an actor as Roth is, he is neither Evan nor Dave's first choice to portray a killing machine. But whatever. Moving on.)

Third, Mitchell calls in a favor, and one of her old military chums brings himself and four other elite snipers to guard the farm. It begs the question: How much money does elite fomer sniper Mitchell have?

Fourth, ALL THESE ELITE SNIPERS STAND IN FRONT OF OPEN WINDOWS IN BROAD DAYLIGHT FOR THE ENTIRE RUNNING TIME. Fifth, enough. Just listen to us tear this thing apart.

Over on Patreon, we watch Chris Pine's directorial debute POOLMAN.

Well, we won't mince words: LADIES FIRST (3:37) is some bullshit. In fact, it may be the worst movie Evan and Dave have seen in 2026 (and we haven't forgotten DOOBA DOOBA). No, LADIES FIRST is a special kind of movie; it's absolutely thoughtless, largely devoid of wit, and it doesn't play by rules it sets for itself. Stars Sacha Baron Cohen and Rosamund Pike, and a largely well-known cast of English acting heavyweights, slum it. This movie is so bad it's kind of a miracle. And it also fails confidently, so take that and it thoughtlessness, and you have a truly mind-blowing piece of shit. Over on Patreon, we talk about Ben Affleck's THE TOWN.

This week Evan takes a trip George Lucasville with THE MANDALORIAN AND GROGU (3:18) and Dave scratches his music itch with TUNER (24:08), about a piano tuner-turned-safecracker with the best sound design Dave has heard in a while. Over on Patreon, Dave and Evan talk about the asoblutely bonkers 1981 stalker film THE FAN, starring Lauren Bacall, James Garner, and a very young Michael Biehn.