In which Jay and Miles make an announcement; the X-Men are down to bare bones; Cyclops and Corsair are stunningly bad at feelings; Trish Tilby is stunningly bad at journalism; Magneto says goodbye to nuance; and Jean Grey assembles a team.

X-PLAINED:

• X-Corps vs. X-Corp
• A thing that will be happening in a few months
• The story so far
• Uncanny X-Men #391-392
• X-Men #111
• The state of the X-Men
• A short-lived Cyclops costume
• A reunion
• A sorry excuse
• Resolution, somewhat
• Genosha (more) (again)
• Conflict of interest
• Several excellent villain speeches
• Joanna Cargill (Frenzy) (again)
• Jean-Paul Beaubier (Northstar) (again)
• Hector Rendoza
• Yet another angry mob
• Paulie Provenzano (Omerta)
• Leyu Yoshida (Sunpyre)
• Ice skating in Rockefeller Center
• Our picks for a new Brotherhood of Evil Mutants

NEXT EPISODE: Eve of Destruction concludes!

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In which it’s rude to eat in a helmet; Cable does his best villain bit; Bishop is clearly unfamiliar with early X-Force; we’re pretty sure clones still count as people; and Stryfe is the surprise MVP of Gambit & Bishop: Sons of the Atom.

X-PLAINED:

• Another time Stryfe and Bishop teamed up
• Gambit & Bishop: Sons of the Atom #3-6
• Some of the Witness’s fancy swag
• An extremely awkward meal
• Stryfe in four pages
• Unsubtle foreshadowing
• The relative ethics of killing Stryfe
• A visual representation of time
• Somewhat logical consequences
• Bad clone ethics
• Future uncertainty
• Le Bête Noir
• Hell-lord / anti-Phoenix disambiguation
• A fancy t-shirt
• The appropriate amount of mean to be to Stryfe
• When Gambit and Bishop: Sons of the Atom takes place relative to The Search for Cyclops (more) (again) (inconclusive)
• Reasons not to live under a crypt in New Orleans
• Betty Noir’s
• Relative (fictional) body counts
• Business-casual Stryfe
• Lucas Bishop, kitten guy
• Relitigating the X-traitor

NEXT EPISODE: Eve of Destruction (and some bonus Summers family bullshit)

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In which we unapologetically ship Gambit and Bishop; pelicans are deeply alarming birds; Charles Xavier watches your sex dreams; the Witness is a Whole Continuity Thing; and the T’ieves Guild is really just here to steal your stuff.

X-PLAINED:

• Destiny’s frequently retconned diaries
• Midi series
• Gambit (more) (again)
• Bishop (more) (again)
• Gambit and Bishop: Sons of the Atom Alpha
• Gambit and Bishop: Sons of the Atom #1-2
• When Gambit and Bishop: Sons of the Atom takes place relative to The Search for Cyclops
• Some things pelicans get up to
• An upsetting dream
• Ethics of telepathy (more) (again)
• Night science
• Some of what Stryfe has been up to
• French nouns
• A theoretical Orphan Black video game
• The Witness (LeBeau) (more) (again)
• The Witness Cave
• How to make Bishop a more central X-character
• The relative importance of T’ieves Guild continuity

NEXT EPISODE: Stryfe in a diner!

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In which we attempt an all-Cyclops Winter special; X-Men are bad at processing grief; writer Alex Paknadel X-Plains his upcoming Cyclops miniseries; every character (except Cameron Hodge) is someone’s favorite; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

• Clones of Cyclops
• Gwen Warren
• Our year in review
• X-Men: The Search for Cyclops #1-4
• Ahmed and his mustache
• Emotional support boats
• A monkey
• Apoca-lips
• Anias
• Boxes of fire
• One way of coping with trauma
• Ozymandias (more) (again)
• The relative criminality of a trail of questions
• Cat lady problems
• Twice as many cat ladies named Anias as you’d expect
• Terrible logic
• Caliban (more) (again)
• Several unpleasant reunions
• Alex Paknadel’s definitive Cyclopses
• Fun with minor characters
• Proxy characters and “highly polished surfaces”
• Characters to revisit
• Sentinels
• Cyclops vs. his own powers
• Cyclops’s powers vs. continuity
• Who Scott Summers is when he’s alone
• The punch dimension
• The 11th Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
• Many people to whom we are profoundly grateful

NEXT EPISODE: Gambit & Bishop: Now Kiss Sons of the Atom

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In which Marrow just want to be left alone; Spider-Man remains hapless; S.H.I.E.L.D. is unhelpful; Colossus dies; Shadowcat leaves the X-Men; and we are all on board for Mutants to Watch Out For.

X-PLAINED:

• How Magik caught the Legacy Virus
• Marrow (again)
• Spider-Man and Marrow #1
• Uncanny X-Men #390
• X-Men #110
• A fancy club
• A terrible plan
• The Legacy Virus (more) (again)
• Some deeply contrived “science”
• A life-affirming display of social interaction
• The death of Colossus
• A very silly sound effect
• Acceptable handwriting
• Nostalgia
• A double send-off
• Closure
• Mortality in Otherworld
• Imaginary crossovers

NEXT EPISODE: Winter Special!

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In which Professor Xavier is a jock; all of Shadowcat’s friends are dead; Storm recruits a team; Bishop makes new pals; and everyone gets festive.

X-PLAINED:

• Some of Mystique’s secret kids
• Uncanny X-Men #389
• X-Men #109
• Charles Xavier’s workout routine
• Two funerals
• Rave (the drug)
• The wrong necklace
• Destiny’s doodles
• A large knife
• Charles Xavier/Moira MacTaggert backstory
• A snowball fight
• A very sketchy circus
• A break-up
• “Christmas cheer”
• A mysterious package
• An X-Men nativity
• Sage (Tessa)
• Origins of X-Treme X-Men
• Several gifts, some more mysterious than others
• Charles Xavier’s legacy
• Warwolves (more) (again)
• Archangel’s color vision

NEXT EPISODE: Colossus dies!

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In which there are a lot of explosions in X-Force; Great Britain-616 is to intelligence as Canada-616 is to military; Alastair Stuart used to be fun; Emma Frost is here to stomp on your dreams; Chamber joins the X-Men; and the Generation X kids graduate themselves.

X-PLAINED:

• Revolution (again)
• Counter-X (again)
• X-Force #114-115
• Generation X #75
• Yet another origin of humanity and/or life on Earth (again)
• The World Engine
• Accurate representation of CD-Rs
• Genetech
• A swimsuit interlude
• Agent Corben
• Alastair Stuart (more) (again)
• A kidnapping
• A really amazingly terrible plan
• A particularly large explosion
• The remaining 14 issues of X-Force vol. 1
• An interlude at Applebee’s
• Bad times at the New Xavier School
• A murder (more) (again)
• Intersectional superheroism
• An additional bonus murder
• An invitation
• Many goodbyes
• What happens next to the Generation X kids

NEXT EPISODE: The end of Revolution

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In which Jay remains angry at a font; a person who is obviously Kang the Conqueror is not in fact Kang the Conqueror; the pig men deserve better; and Nightcrawler should never, ever, ever be allowed to attempt grief counseling.

X-PLAINED:

• Storm/Cable
• Cable #85-86, 88
• Cable (more)(again)
• Earth-4935
• Mother Askani
• Irene Merryweather
• Several cryptic witches
• Are you as dangerous as you think martial arts training for advanced students
• Shin
• An unlikely sound effect
• The Black Dawn
• A time catapult
• An End of Time
• Earth-805110
• The House on the Borderline
• Gaunt
• One of Esad Ribic’s more entertaining accomplishments
• A fight
• One way to weaponize the T-O virus
• The future past of Rachel Summers
• Cable’s friendship with Moira MacTaggert
• Streets of Fire
• Grief counseling? Sort of? I guess?
• A very impressive spear
• Our muppet counterparts

NEXT EPISODE: Two endings!

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In which Widget takes a heel turn; there is some confusion over sword identification; we appreciate Sir Benedict of the Falls; the Braddock family has a lot going on; and Otherworld changes hands.

X-PLAINED:

• Names for flying horses
• Excalibur (2001 miniseries) #1-4
• Captain Britain (Brian Braddock) (briefly) (again)
• The Black Knight (Dane Whitman)
• Darkmoor Research Facility
• Sword and amulet distribution
• Strider the Horse
• Why all the horses of Asgard have Tolkien names
• Sir Benedict of the Falls and his many axes
• One way to win a bridge fight
• Sword pops
• Several continuity errors
• Holographic James Braddock
• The Dad Cave
• Otherworld eugenecists
• A coronation
• A twist
• Some potential X-Factor lineups
• Life expectancies of mutants with healing factors

NEXT EPISODE: Cable fights some guys.

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In which Banshee is chronically hapless; the team gets new costumes (again); Chamber is a self-fulfilling prophecy; toddlers will sell you out in a hot minute; Moira MacTaggert is definitively not in; we are frustrated by excessive ambiguity; and it’s not Rashômon, but it’ll do.

X-PLAINED:

• Banshee post-Generation X
• Generation X #71-74
• Interior decorating
• New costumes (again)
• Chamber, but a housecat
• A meet-cute
• Teen angst
• Fashion
• An extremely awkward conversation
• A brief history of boba in the United States
• A fracas
• Fun things to do with extra skin
• Evolving teacher-student relationships
• Poor interrogation technique
• Husk vs. international terrorism, in general
• Ghosts of the Massachusetts Academy
• Villains and heroes we think would be neat as the reverse
• A world in which Peridot of Steven Universe imprinted on X-Men

NEXT EPISODE: Fast times in Otherworld!

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In which history repeats itself; Senator Kelly prevaricates (and then dies); Magneto keeps the cape on; Mystique does evil science; Post remains irrelevant (and then dies); Pyro saves the day (and then dies); Cable is a large man; Moira MacTaggert does the astral nasty (and then dies); and we really, really, really want to go to Froggy World.

X-PLAINED:

• Moira MacTaggert’s mutation
• A dubious plan
• Evidence that we are in the wrong universe
• Other crossovers named “Dream’s End”
• A significant disclaimer
• Uncanny X-Men #388
• Cable #87
• Bishop: The Last X-Men #16
• X-Men #108
• A surprise presidential platform
• Sir Gordon Phillips and his guests
• The new Brotherhood of Mutants
• Cable’s hair
• A lot of movie allusions
• An ambiguous explosion
• A deeply pointless retcon
• An illusion
• Cable’s psimitar
• Pyro’s last stand
• Dickalogue
• Astral sex
• The (apparent) death of Moira MacTaggert
• A weird bonding moment in a cemetery
• How to identify a time traveler
• The (actual) death of Senator Robert Kelly
• Mutant-free parts of the Marvel Universe
• Froggy World

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X!

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