If you’re craving real closeness, this episode on friendships is for you. Because feeling lonely isn’t really about not having people in your life,  it’s about not feeling known. And that’s where emotional intimacy and real connection begin.

Many people wonder, “Why do I feel so lonely even though I have friends?” or struggle with the quiet ache of feeling lonely even with friends. In this conversation, we’re exploring why adult friendship can feel surprisingly complicated, and why making friends as an adult often requires skills we were never taught.

My guest, Barnet Bain, is an award-winning filmmaker, author, and teacher whose new book, How to Be a Friend (in an Unfriendly World), grew out of a Columbia University course he created for psychologists. Together, we’re talking about the real reason adult friendships can feel hard, why so many people struggle with how to make friends as an adult, and the powerful friendship skills that help create emotional intimacy and lasting connection.

You’ll hear why feeling lonely even with friends is more common than you might think, how our modern world can unintentionally make adult friendship harder to sustain, and why building meaningful relationships is less about finding the right people and more about developing the inner skills that make connection possible.

As you listen, I’d love for you to reflect on this: if you’ve been wondering why do I feel lonely even though I have friends, what might change if you shifted the focus from finding better friends… to becoming the kind of friend who creates deeper connections?

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why You Feel Lonely Even With Friends

04:44 The Friendship Skills No One Teaches Us

08:38 What Healthy Adult Friendship Really Requires

19:02 Why the World Feels More Disconnected

28:11 Friendship as a Practice (And Why It Matters)

34:48 Why Trying to Fix People Blocks Emotional Intimacy

44:16 How to Make Friends as an Adult

50:09 How to Build and Maintain Real Friendships

53:39 The Power of Being Fully Present

If this conversation resonates and you’re realizing how much you want deeper, more meaningful relationships in your life, you don’t have to figure it out alone. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team at Growing Self. It’s a private, supportive space where you can talk about what’s been going on in your relationships and what you’d like to feel different. From there, we’ll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can build stronger connections and feel more supported in your life.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.

Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com
Strawberry.me — Career coaching that helps you gain clarity, build a strategic plan, and take confident steps toward the career you want with expert support. Get 50% off your first coaching session at strawberry.me/LHS.

Premarital counseling isn’t a “just in case” thing. It’s one of the smartest ways to protect a happy relationship before real life stress hits.

These premarital tips can prevent years of communication problems and quiet resentment later. Want a stronger marriage? Start building emotional intimacy before you’re in crisis mode.

Most couples don’t struggle because they stop loving each other. They struggle because no one ever taught them the skills that help love last.

In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I’m talking with my colleague Jesse Stanley about what premarital counseling actually is, why it matters, and how learning relationship skills early can change the trajectory of a marriage. We explore some of the most important premarital counseling questions couples should ask before marriage, including how to talk about money, conflict, expectations, emotional intimacy, and the family patterns each person brings into the relationship.

If you’ve ever wondered what premarital counseling is, or whether premarital and marital counseling can help couples build a stronger foundation before problems begin, this conversation will give you a very real and practical perspective.

Jesse Stanley is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a military background who creates a judgment-free environment where growth and healing flourish. He helps individuals and couples build deeper, more satisfying relationships, navigate major life transitions, recover from heartbreak, manage stress, and create happier, more fulfilling lives.

Episode Breakdown

00:00 Why Love Isn’t Enough for a Healthy Marriage

03:24 How Premarital Counseling Strengthens Relationships

10:44 What Good Premarital Counseling Should Cover

17:32 The Issues Couples Overlook Until It’s Too Late

20:18 How to Talk About Hard Things Without Blowing Up

31:40 What to Expect From the Premarital Counseling Process

47:43 Why Premarital Counseling Is Preventative Care for Marriage

If this conversation resonated with you and your partner, I’d love to help you take the next step. At Growing Self, you can answer three quick questions and book your free consultation with the right expert for your relationship. It’s private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. Many couples start here when they want stronger communication, deeper emotional connection, and a healthier foundation for their future together.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast:

Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.

Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

Strawberry.me — Career coaching that helps you gain clarity, build a strategic plan, and take confident steps toward the career you want with expert support. Get 50% off your first coaching session at strawberry.me/LHS.

Maybe you’ve had this thought late at night, or in the middle of yet another difficult conversation: How do you know when to call it quits in a relationship? Not because you hate your partner. Not because everything is terrible. But because something about the relationship feels unsustainable, and you’re wondering whether this is a rough season you can grow through… or a sign that the relationship may actually be over.

In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we’re talking about one of the most painful and confusing crossroads people face in love. How do you tell the difference between relationship struggles that can lead to growth and the kinds of patterns that signal deeper relationship red flags? When is it worth trying to repair things, and when might it be healthier to move on?

We’ll also talk about why many couples assume change isn’t possible before they’ve actually tried the right kind of help, what real relationship growth can look like, and how practical realities like finances, children, or co-parenting concerns can make the decision to leave feel even more complicated. If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering, “Should I stay and try to work on this… or should I break up?”, this conversation will help you look at your situation with more clarity and compassion.

Episode Breakdown:

00:01 When to Call It Quits in a Relationship

09:02 The “Mixed Bag” Relationship

15:53 Growth Opportunity or Deal Breaker

27:37 Can Couples Counseling Save a Relationship?

46:04 Relationship Red Flags

57:37 Leaving a Relationship and Feeling Guilty

01:04:20 Finances, Children, and Feeling Stuck

If this episode stirred up questions about your own relationship and you’d like thoughtful support while you sort through them, I’d love to offer you something that can really help. You can book a free consultation with me or a member of my team at Growing Self.

Think of it as a private, supportive space where you can talk about what’s really been going on in your relationship and what you hope will feel different moving forward. Answer three quick questions so we can help match you with the right counselor or coach for you. Thousands of people have transformed themselves, their relationships, and their lives through this work. You can too.

It’s private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes to get started.

Let’s find the right support for you. 💗

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.

Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

Strawberry.me — Career coaching that helps you gain clarity, build a strategic plan, and take confident steps toward the career you want with expert support. Get 50% off your first coaching session at strawberry.me/LHS.

If you’re avoiding boundaries because you don’t want to seem selfish, this will flip the script.

Healthy boundaries can create more emotional intimacy, reduce unhealthy feelings, and stop the burnout and stress spiral.

So many kind, caring people get stuck in a pattern of saying yes when they really mean no. They’re not weak, and they’re not doing anything “wrong.” They’re often afraid of conflict, afraid of disappointing someone, or afraid of losing a relationship. And that fear can pull you into the people pleasing cycle: over-giving, exhaustion, resentment, and eventually that sharp “No” that comes out of nowhere and leaves everyone feeling hurt.

In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we’re talking about how to set boundaries in a way that protects your relationships instead of damaging them. You’ll learn what healthy boundaries in relationships actually look like, why boundaries are not about controlling anyone else’s behavior, and how to set a boundary with clarity and kindness — even when someone else has big feelings about it.

If you’ve been wondering how to stop people pleasing, or you’re trying to figure out what are healthy boundaries in a relationship, this is a practical place to start. As you listen, notice where you’ve been making your needs smaller to keep the peace, and what might change if your boundaries became an act of love for both of you.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why Boundaries Protect Relationships

04:26 Why Setting Boundaries Feels So Hard

06:45 The People-Pleasing Cycle

11:19 The Paradox: Boundaries Create Intimacy

15:53 Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Communication

18:10 The Real Secret to Healthy Boundaries

27:36 Requests vs Boundaries

36:40 How to Start Practicing Boundaries

39:06 The 3-Step Boundary Process

45:46 What Their Reaction Tells You About The Relationship

50:36 Resources and Next Steps

If this episode is hitting close to home, maybe you’re recognizing people pleasing patterns, or noticing how hard it’s been to set boundaries in a relationship, I want to offer you something that can make this easier.

You can book your free consultation with Growing Self as a kind of “first step” for yourself. It’s private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. You’ll answer three quick questions so we can help you find the right support and match you with the best counselor or coach for what you’re working on. If you’re practicing setting healthy boundaries in relationships, you don’t have to do it alone.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of Love, Happiness, and Success:

Shopify: The all-in-one platform to build and grow your online business. Explore exclusive listener discounts at shopify.com/lhs

Working Genius founder Patrick Lencioni is on a mission to create self understanding and connection by helping people understand their genius and that of others. Listen to our conversation, then discover your strengths and get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

Strawberry.me — Career coaching that helps you gain clarity, build a strategic plan, and take confident steps toward the career you want with expert support. Get 50% off your first coaching session at strawberry.me/LHS

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “Why can’t I just relax in this relationship?”

Nothing dramatic has happened. There hasn’t been an affair. No obvious betrayal. And yet you feel on edge. You double-check. You scan for signs. You wonder if something is wrong, even when everything seems fine.

Trust issues in relationships do not always start with a fresh wound. Sometimes they are rooted in past hurt. Sometimes they grow out of relational trauma you thought you had already worked through. And sometimes they show up as relationship anxiety that refuses to settle down, even with a good partner.

In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, we’re talking about what trust issues actually are and what they are not. We’ll unpack why hypervigilance, reassurance-seeking, and worst-case thinking can quietly strain a healthy relationship, and why that reaction makes sense when you understand what your nervous system has been through.

We’ll also explore the difference between a real red flag and a trauma trigger, how attachment patterns shape your sense of safety, and what it truly takes to deal with trust issues in a way that builds secure connection instead of pushing love away.

As you listen, gently ask yourself: Is this fear about what’s happening right now, or about something that happened before?

You deserve to feel secure, confident, and emotionally safe in your relationships. Learning how to deal with trust issues is not about becoming less sensitive. It is about becoming more grounded and more secure in yourself.

Episode Breakdown

00:00 Why trust issues in relationships show up even when nothing is wrong

06:59 Signs of trust issues and relationship anxiety

09:18 How trust issues strain healthy relationships

21:27 Relational trauma and the roots of trust issues

33:14 Attachment styles and trust patterns

42:46 How anxiety spirals, the cereal box example

47:23 Therapy for trust issues, CBT, and couples counseling

56:36 Building secure trust from the inside out

If this conversation is stirring something up for you, that makes sense. Working through trust issues and relationship anxiety takes insight, practice, and sometimes support. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, secure space where you can tell us what’s really been happening in your relationship, what’s feeling hard, and what you wish felt different. We’ll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can feel more grounded, more understood, and more confident in your ability to build secure, healthy love.

You don’t have to keep managing trust issues on your own. 💗

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast:

Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.

Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

Strawberry.me — Career coaching that helps you gain clarity, build a strategic plan, and take confident steps toward the career you want with expert support. Get 50% off your first coaching session at ⁠strawberry.me/LHS⁠.

If you’re living in constant stress, you might be shrinking the part of your brain that helps you think clearly.

In this episode, Dr. Majid Fotuhi breaks down burnout, brain fog, and why “everything feels hard.”

You’ll get a practical recovery plan built around sleep, movement, stress regulation, and neuroplasticity.

And how to stop rumination before it rewires your brain in the wrong direction.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, scattered, forgetful, or like you’re constantly behind, this conversation may shift how you understand stress and burnout. Chronic stress and burnout don’t just affect your mood,  they impact brain health, memory, attention, and decision-making. When your brain isn’t functioning well, everything feels heavier than it needs to.

We talk about brain fog causes, how poor sleep disrupts your brain’s nightly cleaning system, and why elevated cortisol over time can shrink the hippocampus. We also explore ADHD symptoms and attention struggles through a new lens. Are you dealing with true ADHD, or the effects of sleep deprivation, digital overload, and chronic stress? You’ll hear practical ADHD tips, how to get rid of brain fog, and simple ways to build real stress resilience.

This episode also dives into rumination and negative neuroplasticity, how repetitive negative thoughts strengthen neural pathways that reinforce burnout. The good news? The brain is malleable. You can interrupt those patterns and strengthen new ones.

As you listen, I’d love for you to consider: What if feeling better isn’t just about changing your thoughts — but about strengthening your brain? And what small shift this week could begin healing stress and burnout at the root?

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Stress and Burnout: Why Everything Feels Hard

04:00 Brain Fog Causes and Early Signs of Burnout

09:04 Sleep and Brain Health

21:23 ADHD Symptoms or Chronic Stress?

30:23 Rumination and Negative Neuroplasticity

42:06 Creating Space to Reduce Stress

52:26 The Five Pillars of Brain Health

If you’re recognizing yourself in this conversation — feeling foggy, overwhelmed, or stuck in stress loops — I’d love to invite you to schedule a free consultation with me or someone on my team. Think of it as a reset conversation. A private, secure space where you can share what’s been weighing on you and what you want to feel different.

You’ll answer three quick questions so we can match you with the right counselor or coach. It only takes a couple of minutes to book a consultation, and it’s my way of helping you take a supported first step toward clearer thinking, stronger stress resilience, and better brain health. Let’s find the right support for you.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast:

Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.

Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

Strawberry.me — Career coaching that helps you gain clarity, build a strategic plan, and take confident steps toward the career you want with expert support. Get 50% off your first coaching session at strawberry.me/LHS.

How do you improve emotional intelligence when you were never really taught what to do with your feelings in the first place? Emotional intelligence shapes your happiness, your relationships, your leadership, and your ability to manage stress — yet most people were never shown how to build emotional intelligence skills in a practical way.

In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, we’re talking about exactly how to improve emotional intelligence step by step, and how to develop emotional intelligence skills that create real change. Not as a personality trait you either have or don’t, but as a set of learnable skills that directly impact emotional regulation, self-awareness, career success, and the quality of your relationships.

You’ll learn why emotional intelligence often matters more than technical expertise at work. In fact, emotional intelligence at work is one of the strongest predictors of long-term career success and leadership effectiveness. We’ll explore how strengthening emotional vocabulary changes the way you think and feel, why managing your internal reactions is the foundation for stronger communication, and how emotional intelligence supports resilience under stress.

Together, we’ll walk through the four core components of emotional intelligence — self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management — and what it actually looks like to strengthen each one in real life.

If you’ve ever felt reactive, shut down, emotionally overwhelmed, or unsure how to handle difficult conversations, this episode will help you slow down, get clearer, and show up differently. Emotional intelligence isn’t about being more emotional. It’s about understanding your emotions, regulating them wisely, and creating emotional safety in the relationships that matter most.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why Emotional Intelligence Matters

06:58 Emotional Intelligence and Career Success

11:34 The Four Components of Emotional Intelligence

13:43 Self-Awareness: Naming Emotions and Understanding Triggers

27:38 Tools to Improve Emotional Intelligence (Mindfulness, CBT, Feeling Wheel)

32:15 Emotional Regulation and Self-Management

38:53 Social Awareness and Relationship Management

46:07 Relationship Management: Emotional Safety, Trust, and Communication That Works

50:42 How Emotional Intelligence Builds Long-Term Success

If you’re listening and thinking, “I want these emotional intelligence skills, but I’d love support while I practice them,” I have something for you. Our Clarity & Confidence Coaching Program is a low-cost coaching service designed to help you build self-awareness, strengthen emotional regulation, and show up with more clarity and confidence in your relationships and career.

Thousands of people have transformed themselves, their relationships, or their careers through Growing Self. You can too.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast:

Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.

Working Genius founder Patrick Lencioni is on a mission to create self understanding and connection by helping people understand their genius and that of others. Listen to our conversation, then discover your strengths and get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

Strawberry.me — Career coaching that helps you gain clarity, build a strategic plan, and take confident steps toward the career you want with expert support. Get 50% off your first coaching session at strawberry.me/LHS.

If you love your partner but your sexual intimacy is gone… you’re not hopeless. You’re normal.

Let’s talk about sex, intimacy, and the real skills that rebuild sexual connection in long-term love. Because emotional intimacy doesn’t automatically create desire,  and you can deepen intimacy on purpose.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why don’t I want sex anymore?” or felt the quiet ache of a lack of intimacy in marriage, you’re not alone. Many couples care deeply about each other. They function well as teammates. And yet when it comes to intimacy in marriage, something feels distant or flat.

Maybe you’re in a marriage without intimacy and wondering how to improve sex life without forcing it. Maybe you’re trying to figure out how to increase sexual desire, especially if your drive has faded. Or maybe you’re the partner feeling rejected and unsure how to reconnect.

The truth is that improving intimacy in marriage isn’t about waiting for spontaneous chemistry to return. Sexual desire shifts in long-term relationships. Stress, exhaustion, resentment, hormonal changes, and the mental load of adult life all impact connection. When there is no intimacy in marriage, it often reflects burnout and disconnection,  not incompatibility.

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Nicole McNichols, an internationally renowned human sexuality professor, author, and speaker whose course The Diversity of Human Sexuality is the most popular in the history of the University of Washington, enrolling over 4,000 students annually.

Together, we unpack how to improve sexual intimacy using research-backed tools. We talk about how pleasure fuels desire, how to increase sexual desire in female partners and anyone experiencing low drive, and why improving intimacy in marriage requires intention, not magic. You’ll learn how to improve sex life through small shifts in novelty, playfulness, and communication that make connection feel natural again.

We also address resentment. If emotional safety has eroded over time, rebuilding sexual intimacy may need to start with repairing the friendship first. When couples strengthen communication and physical intimacy together, relationships often begin to feel alive again.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why Sexual Intimacy Fades in Long-Term Relationships

03:34 How to Improve Sexual Intimacy With a Growth Mindset

08:52 Emotional Intimacy vs. Sexual Desire in Marriage

11:14 How Pleasure Increases Sexual Desire

18:17 How to Increase Sexual Desire (Responsive Desire Explained)

20:20 How to Improve Sex Life by Planning Intimacy

31:08 Rebuilding Attraction and Intimacy in Marriage

43:06 When Lack of Intimacy in Marriage Is About Resentment

Rebuilding sexual connection can feel vulnerable. And sometimes the most powerful next step isn’t trying harder,  it’s getting support.

If you’d like help improving intimacy in marriage or learning how to increase sexual desire in ways that feel safe and sustainable, you can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, secure space where you can share what’s been happening and what you hope will feel different.

You’ll answer three quick questions so we can match you with the right expert. It only takes a couple of minutes, and it’s a meaningful first step toward feeling closer, more connected, and more confident in your relationship.

Let’s find the right support for you.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast:

Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.

Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

If you’re the one everyone relies on, your boundaries might be the reason you’re burning out. This is for the high achiever who’s carrying too much, feeling stressed, and quietly running on empty.

And yes—this includes how to set boundaries at work without guilt or conflict.

Somewhere along the way, many capable people start to confuse their value with their availability. You become the reliable one. The strong one. The person who can handle it. And before you know it, you’re overextended and quietly exhausted from overfunctioning.

If you’ve been wondering how to set boundaries without guilt, how to stop overfunctioning, or how people pleasing and boundaries get tangled together, this conversation will give you clarity and practical direction.

I’m joined by Ginny Priem, keynote speaker, Master Certified Professional Life Coach, bestselling author, and host of the Unsubscribe Podcast. We talk about the signs of stress in the body, trusting your intuition, boundary pushback, and what to do when boundary busters resist your growth.

You’ll learn how to set boundaries at work without conflict, how to communicate limits calmly, and why boundaries aren’t about controlling others, they’re about deciding what you’re willing to participate in.

As you listen, consider: Where have you equated your worth with how much you can carry?

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 How High Achievers Start Overfunctioning

07:22 Signs of Stress in the Body

14:13 Trusting Your Intuition When Something Feels Off

23:51 How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt

29:45 The Unsubscribe Framework: Block, Mute, Swap, Manage

33:48 Setting Boundaries at Work Without Conflict

45:45 Final Reflections on Boundaries and Burnout

If you’re ready to move from insight into action, I’d love to invite you to schedule a consultation with someone on my team at Growing Self. You can answer three quick questions so we can help you schedule a free consultation with the right expert for where you are right now. It’s private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes.

Let’s find the right support for you.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast:

Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.
Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

How to love yourself after a breakup can feel impossible when your self-esteem is shattered and your ex still lives rent-free in your nervous system.

When a relationship ends, especially a painful or toxic one, it doesn’t just break your heart — it can break your trust in yourself. You may find yourself obsessing over your ex, checking their social media even though it hurts, replaying conversations, or wondering what was wrong with you. Low self-esteem after a breakup often isn’t just about rejection. It’s about the shame of feeling like you abandoned your own boundaries trying to keep someone who couldn’t love you back.

In this episode, we’re talking about what it really takes to repair your self-esteem and rebuild your sense of personal power. I’ll walk you through why heartbreak recovery can feel like withdrawal from an addiction, how attachment loss hijacks your brain, and why the most painful thought is often not “They left,” but “Why did I let this happen?”

If you’ve been trying to figure out how to love yourself after a breakup while still feeling pulled toward someone who wasn’t good for you, this episode will help you understand what’s happening and how to shift it. We’ll explore five concrete steps to repair your self-esteem: recognizing self-betrayal patterns, understanding the addictive pull of contact and validation, seeking support instead of isolating, recommitting to loving yourself through behavior, and creating a plan for the moments when you’re tempted to go backward.

Real self-esteem is earned through action: every boundary you set, every time you resist checking their profile, every moment you choose dignity over desperation. That’s how you repair your self-esteem. That’s how you rebuild confidence. That’s how you love yourself after a breakup in a way that lasts.

As you listen, you might realize you’ve been trying to heal through them. What actually helps is rebuilding your relationship with yourself.

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 Why Self-Esteem Collapses After a Breakup

07:04 Low Self-Esteem After Breakup: Rejection and Shame

21:10 Breakup Recovery and the Addiction to Your Ex

34:49 Five Steps to Repair Your Self-Esteem

51:20 How to Stop Obsessing Over Your Ex and Rebuild Confidence

If this episode is stirring something up for you, I want to offer you something personal. You can schedule a free consultation with me or someone on my team. Think of it as a steady first step toward rebuilding yourself. You’ll answer three quick questions so we can help you find the right expert for your unique situation. It’s private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes. Thousands of people have transformed themselves and their relationships through Growing Self. Let’s find the right support for you — and help you repair your self-esteem in a way that feels grounded, strong, and sustainable.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of Love, Happiness, and Success:

Shopify: The all-in-one platform to build and grow your online business. Explore exclusive listener discounts at shopify.com/lhs 
Working Genius founder Patrick Lencioni is on a mission to create self understanding and connection by helping people understand their genius and that of others. Listen to our conversation, then discover your strengths and get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

If you’re trying to improve marriage and it feels like you’re doing it alone, this is for you.

When your spouse is checked out and every “we need to talk” goes nowhere, it’s exhausting.

Maybe you’ve asked for date nights. You’ve suggested couples therapy. You’ve tried to discuss communication problems and you’re met with “I don’t know,” “No,” or silence. In this episode, we’re talking about why that happens… and what actually helps.

Feeling lonely in your marriage can make you question everything. You may be wondering what to do when you’re the only one trying in a relationship, or whether your partner is emotionally checked out for good. It’s easy to assume that if your spouse refuses couples counseling, there’s nothing left to work with. But relationships are systems. When one part changes, the system shifts.

I’m joined by Dr. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D., author, pastoral counselor, life coach, and creator of the Save the Marriage program. With more than 30 years of experience helping couples in crisis, Lee specializes in situations where one partner is resistant or disengaged. Together, we unpack the pursue-withdraw cycle, why chasing your partner often backfires, and how small, invitational shifts can begin rebuilding connection.

We also talk about the myth that “it takes two to tango,” the three levels of connection in marriage, and how to approach a partner who seems emotionally unavailable without escalating pressure. And we explore the harder question: when do you stop trying? How do you know you’ve done what you’re willing to do?

Episode Breakdown:

00:00 What to Do When You’re the Only One Trying in a Relationship

03:10 Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time

09:46 How One Person Can Change a Struggling Marriage

13:12 The Three Levels of Connection in Marriage

21:48 The Pursue-Withdraw Cycle and How to Stop Chasing Your Partner

33:09 How to Rebuild Hope in a Failing Relationship

42:19 Practical Steps to Reconnect With an Emotionally Checked-Out Partner

50:02 When to Stop Trying in a Marriage

55:54 Resources for Couples in Marriage Crisis

If you’ve been carrying that heavy feeling of being the only one fighting for your marriage, you don’t have to figure this out alone.

Clarity doesn’t come from another argument. It comes from one grounded conversation with someone who understands relationship systems and can help you sort through what’s possible and what your next step needs to be.

If that would feel helpful, I’d love to invite you to schedule a free consultation with me or someone on my team at Growing Self. You’ll answer three quick questions so we can help you find the right support for you. It’s private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes.

Let’s find the right support for you—whether that means couples counseling, discernment work, or individual coaching to help you stop chasing and start feeling steady again. You deserve clarity. You deserve support. And you deserve to feel less alone in your marriage.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast:

Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.
Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com