Money. Intimacy. Chores. Parenting. Sometimes it's just the way they said "okay." If it feels like you're fighting about everything, don't try to fix everything. Fix this first.

In this episode, I'm joined by my colleague Alejandra Piñero Stillmann, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Growing Self, to talk about the one change that makes every other relationship problem easier to solve: emotionally safe communication.

Because here's what I've learned after working with thousands of couples...

The fight you're having is rarely the real problem.

When couples feel stuck, they usually try to solve money, intimacy, parenting, or household conflict one issue at a time. But if every conversation turns into an argument, none of those problems stay solved. The foundation has to come first.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why you're probably fixing the wrong problem

• The real reason the same arguments keep happening

• What emotionally safe communication actually looks like

• How to stop seeing each other as opponents and start working as a team

• Why lasting relationship change takes practice—not perfection

• The one question to ask your partner tonight that can change the entire conversation

If you're ready to take the next step, download my free Communication That Connects training and workbook at www.growingself.com/communication.

And if you'd like personalized support, you can learn more about Alejandra Piñero Stillmann and book a free consultation at www.growingself.com/alejandra. Alejandra works with individuals and couples in both English and Spanish and specializes in helping people build healthier, more connected relationships.

Sometimes the biggest breakthrough in your relationship isn't solving the biggest fight. It's finally learning how to have a different conversation.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

I need you to stop making that pros-and-cons list. It’s not going to give you the answer.

When you’re trying to decide whether to leave a relationship, the not-knowing can feel unbearable. One day, you’re done. The next, you’re wondering whether you should try one more time.

I’ve worked with couples for decades, and here’s what I wish more people knew: You may not be stuck because you’re indecisive. You may be asking the wrong question.

In this episode, I’m talking with Growing Self marriage and family therapist Georgi Chizk about discernment counseling, a short, structured process that helps you stop spinning and start getting clear.

And there’s something important I want you to hear: You don’t have only two choices. There’s a third path nobody talks about.

Listen to learn:

• The one-to-ten question that reveals your true commitment level

• Why couples therapy can fail when one person is already leaning out

• How trying harder can accidentally push your partner further away

• The three legitimate paths forward, including choosing to stay

• Two exercises you can use tonight to begin finding clarity

You cannot repair a relationship until you know whether both people genuinely want to try.

And you don’t need to have the answer before asking for help.

Georgi offers free consultations for people who feel exhausted, uncertain, and ready to find a clear path forward.

Meet Georgi and schedule your free consultation at www.growingself.com/georgi.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

Money shame grows in silence. And the secret you’re carrying is hurting you more than the mistake itself.

My guest, Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche, woke up on her 30th birthday jobless, living in her childhood bedroom, and $300,000 in debt. She’d been scammed. She was facing foreclosure. And she was too ashamed to tell her own father—an accountant and CFO—while living under his roof.

Then she finally told the truth.

That moment changed everything.

In this deeply honest conversation, Tiffany and I unpack why emotional baggage related to money can be the biggest obstacle standing between where you are now and where you want to be financially. 

Learn why smart, capable people hide money mistakes, and why shame can keep those mistakes growing long after the original crisis is over. As Tiffany puts it, “shame shields solutions.”

Listen to learn:

• Why unresolved shame cripples your ability to become financially secure

• Why money shame feels so isolating

• How to separate a mistake from your identity

• The three patterns behind many financial disasters

• How to challenge the money story still running your life

• How to cultivate a positive relationship with money so that you can earn what you’re worth… and keep (and grow) your money!!

My friend, this is a very different way to think about your relationship with money. But working on yourself in this area unlocks the door to the financial prosperity and security that you want and deserve.

Xoxo,

Dr Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs

I need you to hear this: You do not have to feel ready to change your life.

But believing you need to feel ready? That’s what gets people stuck, every time. 

Here’s the deal: You already know what you need to do. But if you keep waiting—for confidence, motivation, certainty, or some magical sign that says, now…. that what needs to change.

The new idea: feeling ready comes after you take action, not before.

That was just one of the main takeaways from an incredibly inspiring conversation with Cate Hall — a woman who doesn’t just preach that, she lives it.  She’s used this method to become a Supreme Court attorney, #1-ranked poker player (really!), and most recently the author of You Can Just Do Things.

She’s here to teach you about the hidden reason smart, capable people stay stuck, and more importantly, how to break the pattern.

Listen to learn:

• The tiny shift that turns “someone should” into “I could”

• Why waiting for motivation may be the very thing keeping you frozen

• How to take action before your brain has talked you out of it

• Why rejection gets less powerful the moment you stop avoiding it

• How one brave move can create opportunities you never could have planned

You do not need a personality transplant.

You do not need a perfect plan.

You need one move. And that move can change everything.

So press play. Let’s get you moving.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

Music: Freedom Day by Andy Slatter

Sometimes, the people you love most can push your nervous system past its breaking point.

Nervous system regulation is what helps you stay grounded, communicate clearly, and respond instead of react. And when you don’t have it, you snap. You shut down. You get flooded, overwhelmed, or completely disconnected from the people you care about most.

You’re not failing. You’re not “too sensitive.” And you’re not bad at relationships.

Your nervous system may simply be overloaded.

I’m talking with emotional-development expert Alyssa Blask Campbell about why two people can experience the exact same moment in completely different ways, and how those invisible differences can create conflict, disconnection, and hurt feelings.

Listen to learn:

• The four hidden senses shaping your emotional world

• Why generic self-care works for some people—and fails others

• How sensory differences create surprising relationship conflicts

• The difference between numbing yourself and truly regulating

• How to build calming strategies that actually fit you

Sometimes the person you love isn’t ignoring you, overreacting, or being difficult.

Their nervous system may simply be speaking a different language.

I hope this conversation helps you understand yourself more deeply, take things less personally, and bring more compassion into your relationships.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

How often should couples have sex? I’m going to tell you the truth: If you’re counting, something deeper is already asking for your attention.

When your partner starts feeling more like a roommate, it’s easy to panic. To compare. To wonder whether your relationship is broken.

But the “right number” isn’t the answer.

If you’re lying next to the person you love wondering, “What happened to us?”... this episode is for you.

In this conversation, I’m joined by Growing Self clinician and certified sex therapist Dori Bagi to uncover the hidden reasons desire fades, and what can actually bring it back.

Listen to learn:

• Why sexual frequency is often a distracting symptom

• How spontaneous and responsive desire work differently

• The hidden expectations quietly creating pressure and resentment

• How hormones, body image, and emotional disconnection affect desire

• Whether attraction can return after it feels completely gone

You may not have a libido problem.

You may have an understanding problem.

And once you can finally see what’s happening, you can start changing it.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

P.S. If this is touching something tender in your relationship, you don’t have to figure it out alone. You can connect directly with Dori for compassionate, expert support at growingself.com/dori. 

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠
  

Have you ever overextended yourself to the point where you collapsed? Gave and gave and gave until your well was dry.. The problem isn't that you can't handle hard things. It's that you haven't learned how to find your sustainable pace. If you're trying to figure out how to lead a productive and full life without becoming exhausted and depleted in the process, this episode is for you.

In this conversation, I'm joined by award-winning science writer Elizabeth Svoboda, author of The Art of Pacing. Together, we unpack the hidden pattern behind that all-or-nothing cycle and why the answer isn't pushing harder or checking out completely. You'll learn how to work with your energy instead of constantly fighting against it, including a simple breathing technique that can calm your nervous system in just a few minutes.

Listen to learn:

• Why high achievers keep swinging between overdoing it and shutting down

• How to calm your nervous system with a simple, science-backed strategy you can do immediately

• Hacks that make your to do list feel easier (and energizing)

• The one question that helps you make better decisions about what to say yes to

• How to get clarity about YOUR sustainable pace (not someone else’s)

• How to get your energy back after a “burnout breakdown” and avoid going there again.

It’s time to stop chasing someone else's pace and start trusting your own. This episode will give you direction about how to do that.

Lastly, take 10 seconds to think about who in your life is barely holding it all together and needs to hear this message today. Forward it to them. 

And there it is: You just made a difference. (We're on this mission, together.)

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

You might not be falling out of love. You might just be exhausted.

When you can’t sleep, everything gets louder. The resentment. The anxiety. The dishwasher fight that suddenly feels like proof your entire relationship is broken.

I’ve seen this happen again and again: people blame their partner, their marriage, or themselves—when the real saboteur is sleep deprivation.

In this episode, I’m talking with marriage and family therapist and sleep expert Chrissy Lawler about what exhaustion is really doing to your mood, your parenting, and the people you love most.

Listen to learn:

• Why exhaustion makes every conflict feel more serious

• How poor sleep quietly drains connection and intimacy

• The counterintuitive reason to get out of bed when you can’t sleep

• How caffeine, alcohol, and nighttime habits sabotage your rest

• Why sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is go to bed angry

• Simple, evidence-based ways to start sleeping better tonight

Before you decide your relationship is broken, check your sleep. A full night of rest might change the entire conversation.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠.

Are you chronically late, stressed, and frazzled? Feel like you never have enough time to do what you really want and need to do? Here’s the reality: Until you can manage your time, you’ll always feel out of control. Poor  time management isn’t just making you late. It’s quietly stealing your life.

If you feel buried, behind, overcommitted, and weirdly guilty all the time, this episode is going to hit hard. Because the problem may not be that you’re lazy, scattered, or “bad at time management.” The real problem is that you’re saying yes to everything and accidentally saying no to the life you actually want.

I’m sitting down with Samantha Lane, TEDx speaker and founder of Origami Day, to talk about the simple time management shift that can help you stop living on autopilot.

Here’s the uncomfortable (but also liberating and life-changing) truth:

You don’t have a time problem. You have a choosing problem.

Listen to learn:

• Why poor time management is really a life-management problem

• The brutal truth about your 168 hours each week

• How every “yes” secretly becomes a “no”

• Why your to-do list will never actually be done

• The simple weekly planning ritual that can calm the chaos

If you’ve been trying to become more disciplined, more productive, more organized, and somehow still feel like you’re failing, this conversation will help you stop blaming yourself and start choosing your life on purpose.

You’re not behind.You’re just ready to choose differently.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

Your partner heard something you never said.

That’s why the conversation went sideways.

That’s why you’re suddenly defending yourself.That’s why they’re hurt.That’s why you’re both thinking, “How did we get here again?”

If you’re struggling with a lack of communication in a relationship, this episode is for you.

Because the problem may not be that you’re bad at communicating.

It may be that you and your partner are speaking completely different emotional languages.

In this episode, I’m talking with psychotherapist Jason VanRuler, author of Discovering Your Communication Type, about why the same words can land beautifully for one person and completely miss another.

We’ll unpack the five communication types, why good intentions still create painful disconnection, and how to speak in a way your partner can actually receive.

You'll learn:

• Why your partner hears something totally different than what you meant

• How the same words can comfort one person and trigger another

• The five communication types that shape every hard conversation

• Why “men can’t communicate” is a lazy, damaging myth

• How to stop blaming each other and start translating each other

• What to say after a fight when you actually want to repair

You don’t have to keep having the same argument forever.

You may just need to learn how your partner listens.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

Wired and tired? I’ve been there too, and I know first hand… this is not sustainable. Help is here.

If you’re searching for nervous system regulation strategies because your body feels like it’s waving a white flag — the insomnia, the tension, the stomach issues, the collapse at night — this episode is a must listen. 

Join me for this conversation with somatic expert Liz Tenuto, known as The Workout Witch, about why chronic stress gets stored in the body, why your doctor can say “everything looks normal” when you feel anything but, and how somatic healing can help you come back to yourself.

You'll learn:

• Why your body won’t switch off at night

• How functional freeze makes you look fine while you’re shutting down

• The body signs of stored stress: jaw, shoulders, gut, sleep, pain

• Why somatic healing can help when thinking harder doesn’t

• A one-minute reset you can try right now

If your body has been begging you to listen, this episode is where we start.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠