Do you ever find yourself longing for deeper human connection, yet unsure how to actually make it happen? So many people are trying to overcome loneliness while craving friendships that genuinely support their happiness, well-being, and the desire to grow and heal. In this episode, we explore what strengthens your social wellness - from simple practices that help you reconnect with yourself to meaningful experiences that help you feel happier.

My guest today is Julia Hotz, a solutions-focused journalist and award-winning author of The Connection Cure. Julia has spent years studying why loneliness is so widespread, what it does to our bodies and minds, and why meaningful relationships feel harder to build than ever. Today, we discuss social prescribing - an emerging practice where doctors and therapists “prescribe” activities like art classes, forest walks, or book clubs based on what matters to you most. These aren’t hobbies for the sake of hobbies; they’re structured ways of reconnecting with joy, identity, and people who help you feel more like yourself.

Julia shares powerful stories, including Glenn, a 92-year-old veteran who went from weeks of silence to a real friendship, and Jonas, who lives with social anxiety and found that culture, music, and stories were his bridge back to connection. We talk about why meaningful relationships aren’t just about companionship but self-expansion, helping you understand who you are through the people you connect with. We also explore the internal obstacles that make it harder to overcome loneliness: time constraints, social anxiety, and the awkwardness many people still feel after years of disrupted connection.

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Why social connection and strong relationships boost health and happiness
00:40 Introducing Julia Hotz and The Connection Cure
01:11 How the UK’s minister of loneliness sparked social prescribing
06:47 What loneliness really is and how it impacts your brain and body
10:26 Self-expansion: how deep relationships help you know yourself
12:28 Rebuilding community: from Bowling Alone to modern social prescribing
14:21 Glenn and Ryan’s story: loneliness to friendship at age 92
18:05 Social anxiety and culture “vitamins”: easier ways to meet people
23:20 How people connect differently: activities, intimacy, and friendship
26:18 Flipping “What’s wrong with me?” to “What matters to me?”
31:14 Why 20 minutes in nature can reset your mind and attention
38:35 How to “prescribe yourself” connection and build a values-based social life

If something in this episode resonates and you’re thinking, “I don’t want to feel this alone anymore,” we would love to support you. At Growing Self, you can schedule a free consultation to get connected with a therapist or coach on my team who truly understands what it takes to overcome loneliness and build meaningful human connection. You’ll be able to chat with someone who can walk alongside you as you strengthen your social wellness, rebuild friendships, and feel happier. Schedule a free consultation today.

You are worthy of relationships where you feel seen, chosen, and emotionally safe. You don’t have to figure this out alone. 💗

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Growing Self

If overwhelm has become your constant companion - the thing you wake up with, carry through your day, and fall asleep thinking about - your well-being is trying to tell you something. In this episode, we’re unpacking why happiness can feel so far away when stress keeps running the show, and how you can manage what’s on your plate without sacrificing yourself in the process. If you’re longing to feel happier, love yourself more deeply, and finally declutter the parts of your life that feel too heavy, you are absolutely in the right place!

My guest, author and Afro-minimalist Christine Platt (Less Is Liberation: Finding Freedom From a Life of Overwhelm), shares how her “normal” busy life quietly turned into a health crisis, and how she began seeing overwhelm as her body’s way of saying, Hey, one of your wells is empty. We talk about the five foundations of wellness (your “personal wells”), the emotional labor and mental load so many women carry, and how learning to declutter your stuff, your schedule, and your beliefs can help you manage stress more wisely and reconnect with a sense of happiness in your daily life.

We also get into the messy real-world pieces: overwhelm by circumstance (divorce, money, kids, career), people-pleasing, the guilt around saying no, and why so many of us overbuy and hang onto clutter “just in case.” As you listen, notice: Which of your wells has been running low? What are you still trying to prove by doing so much? And what would “less” need to look like for your life to feel more like your life again?

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Constant Overwhelm and Stress: What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You
03:03 Chronic Overwhelm and Hypertension: When Stress Becomes a Health Crisis
05:51 Five Foundations of Wellness: The “Personal Wells” Framework
09:45 Emotional Labor and Mental Load: Why Women Feel So Overwhelmed
12:30 Minimalism as Liberation: Living With Less to Reduce Overwhelm
16:06 Time Scarcity and Productivity: Limiting Beliefs That Keep You Overwhelmed
18:29 Messengers and Limiting Beliefs: Redefining “Selfish” Self-Care
25:32 Overwhelmed by Circumstance: Divorce, Scarcity, and Minimalism by Necessity
32:26 Psychology of Ownership: Why We Overbuy, Hoard, and Accumulate Clutter
42:51 Inner Work Before Decluttering: Healing People-Pleasing and Attachment to Stuff
48:47 Filling Your Wells: Daily Practices for Sustainable Wellness and Well-Being

If you’re living in that constant state of overwhelm, please know you don’t have to sort this out on your own. At Growing Self, you can talk with someone about what’s really happening - the stress, the burnout, the clutter on the outside and the inside - and get matched with a therapist or coach who truly understands what you’re carrying. Schedule a consultation today!

You deserve a life that feels lighter and more intentional, where you can manage stress wisely, feel happier in your day-to-day reality, and genuinely love yourself in how you care for your time, your space, and your emotional well-being. 💗

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Growing Self

Wondering if your mother-in-law is just “a lot,” or if you’re actually dealing with a truly toxic mother-in-law situation? You are so not the only one lying awake replaying her comments and wondering what to do when this relationship feels way too involved in your marriage and family. In this episode, we’re talking about how a toxic mother-in-law dynamic starts to erode your sense of safety at home.

Dr. Tracy Dalgleish - clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and author of You, Your Husband and His Mother - joins me to talk honestly about what happens when your partner is still emotionally tied to his mom, you’re trying to build a healthy new family, and you keep getting caught in the middle. We look at why some moms struggle to let go, why so many women end up over-functioning for everyone, and why so many men freeze or minimize when it’s time to set boundaries with a toxic mother-in-law… and then we talk about what you can do: becoming a united “vault” as a couple, setting real boundaries instead of endless “requests,” and getting clear on your options when the dynamic with your mother-in-law is starting to feel unbearable.

Here’s how we walk through it together:
00:00 Why Mother-in-Law Conflicts Hurt Communication and Connection
03:14 Dr. Tracy’s Story and Why She Wrote “You, Your Husband and His Mother”
05:24 Mother–Son Bonds, Gender Roles, and the Roots of Toxic Mother-in-Law Dynamics
11:03 Unhealthy Family Patterns: Control, Enmeshment, and Emotional Caretaking of Mom
20:56 Overfunctioning Wives, Underfunctioning Husbands, and the Mother–Child Dynamic
24:39 The VAULT Method: Becoming a United Couple and Setting Boundaries with In-Laws
30:48 Requests vs Boundaries: What Really Works with a Toxic Mother-in-Law
51:41 Change, Accept, or Leave: Your Choices in a Toxic Mother-in-Law Situation

If this stirs up a very specific conversation with your partner (or a replay of your last holiday with his mom) and your chest tightens a little, I have something for exactly that moment. My Communication That Connects training walks you through the evidence-based do’s and don’ts of communication that actually creates understanding instead of more defensiveness and hurt. I’ll help you get clear about the real issues under your fights, give you a framework you can start using right away with your partner, and walk you step-by-step through how to have hard conversations in a way that protects your emotional bond instead of tearing it down.

And if you’re at the point where you’re thinking, “I don’t want to keep holding this all together by myself,” I would be genuinely honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can privately tell us what’s going on with your marriage, your mother-in-law, your family, and we’ll help you connect with the right therapist or coach on my team. It’s a simple, secure way to raise your hand and say, “Here’s what I’m struggling with, please point me to the right person.” You can start that process anytime by scheduling a consultation.

You deserve a family life that feels safe, sane, and loving, even if your extended family is… a lot. 💗

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Growing Self

If your relationship is stuck in a painful communication breakdown, I want you to know you’re not crazy and you’re not alone. In this episode, I’m sharing how the right solution-focused therapy techniques can start shifting the energy between you, even if things feel really bad right now.

I’m joined by solution-focused brief psychotherapist and author of Change Your Questions, Change Your Future, Elliott Connie, and we’re talking about why endlessly analyzing what went wrong rarely creates the change you’re craving. Instead, we look at how hope, better questions, and small, intentional acts of love can reopen doors that you were pretty sure were slammed shut: from a “hopeless” divorced couple who ended up with ten beautiful years of remarried life, to the quiet experiment of really studying your partner and giving them more of what you know makes them feel loved. Along the way, we wrestle with the hard stuff too: blame, “I’m the victim here,” boundaries vs. checking out, and whether you’re people-pleasing or simply showing up as the kind of partner you want to be.

As you listen, I’d love for you to ask yourself: If hope came back into this relationship, what would actually be different between us? And who do I want to be in that story?

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Why Relationships Really Fail: Losing Hope, Not Love
01:19 Solution-Focused Therapy vs Traditional Couples Counseling
06:03 Insight vs Healing: Why Understanding the Problem Won’t Fix Your Relationship
10:48 How Hope Heals Relationships: The Most Important Ingredient in Change
15:36 Court-Ordered Co-Parents to Remarried: Elliot Connie’s “Finding Nemo” Case Study
22:19 Ending the Blame Game: Taking Personal Responsibility in Marriage Conflicts
27:09 Try This Tonight: Small Acts of Love That Rebuild Emotional Connection
32:02 Is Your Partner Reciprocating? How to Read the Signs and What to Do Next
34:23 Change Your Questions, Change Your Future in Love and Relationships
36:51 Making Your Partner’s Happiness Your Job Without Losing Yourself
41:35 People-Pleasing, Boundaries, and Knowing When a Relationship Is Unhealthy
44:54 How to Get More Help for Your Relationship and Personal Growth

If this conversation is bringing a particular argument or painful cycle to mind and you can feel your body tense up at the thought of talking about it, I created something to walk alongside you. My Communication That Connects training is where I take you deeper into the heart of this work: the real issues that drive conflict, the evidence-based do’s and don’ts of communication that creates connection instead of distance, and a clear framework you can start using with your partner right away. 

And if you’re at the point where you’re thinking, “We cannot keep doing this by ourselves,” I would be truly honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can tell us what’s going on, what you’ve already tried, and what you’re hoping for, and we’ll thoughtfully connect you with the right therapist or coach on my team. It’s a private, secure way to say, “Here’s what I’m struggling with,” and get matched with someone who can walk through this with you, step by step. You can begin that process by scheduling a consultation.

You deserve a relationship where hard conversations are survivable, you feel heard and cherished, and love feels like a safe place to land. 💗

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Growing Self

If you’ve ever told yourself, “I’ll finally relax when my relationship is better, my house is cleaner, my body looks different, my career is farther along,” this conversation is for you and me both. As we step into the holiday season - a time that invites reflection, gratitude, and sometimes a little extra pressure - I’m revisiting this episode because the message is timeless. We’re talking about cultivating contentment in the life you actually have, not some upgraded future version of it, and how to feel more at peace inside yourself without giving up your dreams, your drive, or your big, beautiful goals.

We’ll look at the difference between quick hits of happiness and that steadier “all is well in my world” feeling, the paradox of being an ambitious human who also wants to enjoy today, and some very practical ways to take inventory of your life, question old beliefs about worth and achievement, and stop outsourcing your emotional climate to your circumstances. As you listen, I’d love for you to consider: What have you been making your happiness conditional on? And what might change if today, messy and imperfect as it is, actually counted as a good life?

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Introduction to Contentment
04:24 The Pursuit of Happiness vs. Contentment
10:56 Understanding Contentment
20:36 The Paradox of Growth and Contentment
22:29 Taking Inventory for Contentment
29:17 Exploring Core Beliefs and Values
32:55 The Impact of Negative Thinking
37:10 Contentment and Happiness
40:37 The Illusion of Circumstantial Happiness
46:20 The Journey of Personal Growth
52:32 Finding Joy in the Process of Life

If you’re noticing how long you’ve been living in “when things are different, then I’ll be okay,” and you’d like a thoughtful partner while you practice something healthier, I’d love to connect with you. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team; it’s a private, secure space where you can tell us what’s really been going on in your world and what you’re hoping will feel different. We’ll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can feel more grounded, more understood, and more free to enjoy the life you’re in while you grow into what’s next. 💗

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Growing Self

This time of year brings a lot of togetherness… and with it, a lot of unspoken tension. Difficult conversations are the ones you rehearse in your mind or hold back during holiday dinners, worried that saying the wrong thing could create a rift you can’t repair. That’s why I’m re-releasing this episode on how to have difficult conversations in a way that protects your relationship (and often deepens it) instead of pushing you further apart.

We’ll talk about why we either avoid hard topics until resentment leaks out, or bring them up in a burst of anger and criticism, and how both patterns wear down trust over time. You’ll learn what it actually takes to do this differently: managing emotional flooding, getting honest with yourself before you speak, knowing when a conversation is worth having (and when it’s time to set a firm boundary), and shifting the goal from “winning” to mutual understanding so you can stay connected even when you don’t agree.

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Navigating Difficult Conversations
06:07 Emotional Intelligence & Self-Regulation
17:49 When to Set Boundaries and Walk Away
21:00 Growth Through Discomfort
27:05 Preparing for Hard Conversations
29:53 Seeing Through Others’ Eyes
36:08 Handling Polarized Views
42:09 Reciprocity & Healthy Relationships

If this episode brings a specific conversation to mind and your stomach flips a little just thinking about it, I have a resource to support you. My Communication That Connects free training takes you deeper into the skills we cover here - practical do’s and don'ts for communication that creates understanding, plus real examples you can use with your partner right away. You’ll also receive a full workbook with lessons, activities, and homework to help you get to the root of conflict, calm reactive patterns, and build a more emotionally safe connection. 

And if you’re at the point where you don’t want to keep doing this alone, I’d be honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can tell us what’s going on in your life and relationships, and we’ll help you connect with the right therapist or coach on my team. It’s a simple, private way to say, “Here’s what I’m struggling with,” and get matched with someone who can walk through it with you. Start that process here: schedule a consultation.

You deserve relationships where you can say the hard things, feel truly heard, and still feel loved at the end of the day. 💗

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Growing Self

AI has woven itself into our daily lives so quietly and so quickly that many of us don’t even realize how emotionally attached we’re becoming to it... and your AI chatbot might be destroying the way you connect & communicate in your relationships in real life.

My guest, Dr. Rachel Wood, a licensed counselor with a PhD in cyberpsychology, helps us make sense of why AI feels so safe, so comforting, and in some cases so intimate, and what it means for our real relationships when a chatbot becomes the place we go to feel understood.

We talk about the very real appeal of an AI companion that never gets tired, never gets defensive, and always seems to “get” you. And we also talk about the moments when that dynamic crosses into something unhealthy: when an omnibot becomes your therapist, your best friend, your partner, and your decision-maker… all at once. Rachel shares examples of how dependency forms, how delusions can develop, and why our relational and cognitive “muscles” matter more than ever in this new landscape.

This conversation isn’t anti-AI. It’s about staying awake, staying human, and staying connected to ourselves and to each other while we navigate a technology that is becoming surprisingly personal.

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 How AI Is Changing Human Relationships
09:20 The Spectrum of AI Relationships
20:18 Cognitive Offloading and Its Real-World Consequences
27:31 Using AI for Growth Without Losing Agency
32:59 When AI Becomes a Dependency
37:07 The Dangers of AI Escalation: A Suicidality Case Study
43:03 AI in Therapy: Tool or Replacement?
51:16 How to Support Someone Attached to Their AI

If you’re listening to this and realizing you may be leaning on AI a little more than feels good, or maybe you’re worried about someone you love, please know you’re not alone. These are tender places, and they deserve real, caring support. If you’d like a safe space to sort through what’s coming up for you, or if you’re craving more connection and clarity in your relationships, I’d love to help you get started. You can schedule a consultation with me or someone on my team.

Tell us what’s on your heart and what you’re hoping for. We’ll help you get matched with the right support so you can feel steady, understood, and empowered again. 💗

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Growing Self

The holiday season is so challenging when you’re dealing with relationship loss. That’s why I am re-releasing this episode on how to manage a breakup or divorce through the holiday season. This time of year can stir up old feelings, magnify loss, and make you question whether you’ll ever feel like yourself again - and that’s exactly why this conversation still matters.

It can feel especially brutal when you’re going through a breakup over the holidays. Everyone else is in goofy sweaters and twinkle lights, and you’re just trying to get through the day without crying in the bathroom. In this episode, I’m talking with you about why you still feel hooked on your ex (even if you know the relationship needed to end), how love can function like an addiction in your brain, and why this season tends to rip everything wide open emotionally.

I walk you through the stages of healing after a breakup - from that torturous ambivalence where part of you is still hoping, to the grief of finally letting go, to the anger, guilt, and self-doubt that can sneak up on you later - and then into rebuilding your self-esteem, finding some inner peace, and eventually growing into a wiser, stronger version of yourself. As you listen, I want you to be gently asking yourself, Where am I in this process? What do I actually need right now: space, support, boundaries, or a little nudge back into life?

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Coping with Loss During the Holidays
10:15 Understanding the Emotional Impact of Breakups
16:33 Navigating the Stages of Healing
18:34 The Ambivalence Stage: Letting Go
22:15 Emotional Freedom: Grieving and Moving On
28:01 Rebuilding Self-Esteem After a Breakup
31:15 Finding Inner Peace and Moving Forward
34:29 Growth: Learning from the Experience

If you’re listening to this and thinking, I can’t do this by myself anymore, I would be truly honored to support you. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, secure place to tell us what’s been going on for you - the grief, the intrusive thoughts about your ex, the way the holidays are stirring everything back up - and we’ll help you get matched with the right expert so you don’t have to figure this out alone.

Thousands of people have used this first step to begin healing their hearts and rebuilding their lives, and you can too. If your heart is saying, I’m ready for some real support, consider this my personal invitation to reach out. 💗

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Growing Self

Let’s get honest for a second. Porn addiction isn’t really about sex. It’s about connection… about loneliness, shame, and the ache to feel close to something when life feels empty or overwhelming.

My guest for this episode, Sathiya Sam, knows that pain deeply. After a 15-year struggle with porn addiction, he rebuilt his life and now helps others do the same through his Deep Clean program - a compassionate, science-meets-spirituality approach that helps people stop using porn and start building real connection again.

We’re talking about what really drives addiction, the role of purpose and community in recovery, how to protect kids in this new digital world, and what AI “relationships” mean for the future of intimacy. It’s a deep, human conversation about healing, hope, and the real work of reclaiming yourself.

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Porn Addiction Is About Connection, Not Willpower
01:17 Sathiya Sam’s Recovery Story and Deep Clean Method
07:21 Purpose, Boredom, and the Root Causes of Porn Use
13:44 Protecting Kids From Early Exposure
18:24 AI, Loneliness, and Synthetic Intimacy
30:11 Healing Through Community and Real Connection
34:32 Why Your Partner Shouldn’t Be Your Accountability Partner
39:34 First Steps to Quit Porn for Good

Sometimes the hardest part is admitting you need a little help, and the bravest thing you can do is take that first step. If you’re ready to start your own growth and healing journey, you can get support from Sathiya here: https://www.sathiyasam.com/growing-self. Let them know Dr. Lisa sent you! ❤️

You don’t have to carry this by yourself. Real change is possible… and it starts with connection.

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Growing Self

P.S. I’d also love to hear what resonated for you or what ideas you’d like me to explore next. Let’s keep the conversation going!

What if the guilt you’ve been trying to shake is a guiding light for better relationships?

We spend so much energy trying not to feel guilty, about losing our temper, missing a call, falling short in some way, but guilt isn’t proof that you’re broken. It’s proof that you care. In this episode, I talk with psychologist Dr. Chris Moore about how guilt can actually help you heal your relationships, reconnect with your empathy, and live in alignment with your values.

Here’s a peek at what we cover:
00:00 Guilt Is Good: Why Feeling Guilty Can Heal Relationships
01:54 The Guilt Cocktail: Empathy, Anxiety, and Self-Anger
08:24 Guilt vs. Shame: How to Tell the Difference
13:43 Turning Guilt Into Repair: Apology and Forgiveness
16:48 When You Can’t Fix It: Guilt, Grief, and Self-Forgiveness
23:27 Moral Injury, Trauma, and Survivor Guilt
28:37 Chronic Guilt: Why Women Feel It More
33:12 How to Reframe Guilt and Use It as a Guide
41:13 Guilt Means You Care

If something in this conversation stirred your heart, maybe an old regret or a relationship you’d love to mend, you don’t have to sort through it alone. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team at Growing Self. It’s a warm, private space to talk about what’s been weighing on you, get help managing guilt in a healthy way, and start moving forward with self-forgiveness and clarity.

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Growing Self

Have you ever said yes when every part of you was quietly screaming no? Or pushed through your day on fumes, wondering where your energy went? We’ve all been there - doing a million things that look productive but leave us totally drained.

In this episode, I’m talking with psychologist and author Dr. Diana Hill about how to reclaim your energy and focus by using them wisely. Diana’s new book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, is about learning to tell the difference between what fuels you and what quietly burns you out. We get into how to recognize “unwise effort” - those moments when you’re forcing, overdoing, or holding on too tight - and how to reconnect with your genius energy, that natural flow that feels effortless and alive.

She also shares simple ways to check in with yourself: a 24-hour “regret scan” to see where your energy went off-track, and four questions to help you decide what’s actually worth your time, attention, and heart. It’s all about being intentional, not perfect, and remembering that the most powerful thing you can do is choose where your energy goes.

As you listen, notice where your energy feels pulled, and what choices leave you feeling lighter, freer, more yourself. What are you still holding on to that’s quietly exhausting you? And what would it look like to let that go?

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 What Is Wise Effort and Why Energy Matters
02:50 Three Patterns That Drain Your Energy
07:04 Finding Your Genius Energy
11:04 Regret as a Compass for Wise Energy
22:00 The Four-Question Filter for Wise Decisions
29:39 How Relationships Affect Your Energy
42:30 Reclaiming Energy and Focus Through Wise Effort

If you’ve been feeling scattered or depleted, this may be your moment to pause and realign. Working with one of our expert therapists or coaches can help you understand where your energy and focus are going - and guide you toward choices that feel more grounded, intentional, and restorative. Schedule your free consultation to start creating the balance you’ve been craving.

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Growing Self