Your workplace feels wrong. But do you actually know what you’re dealing with?

If you've been calling your job a hostile work environment, stop…because that phrase carries more weight than you might realize. It's a term with a specific meaning, and the words you use can change what happens next.

Because “hostile” and “toxic” do not mean the same thing. One is a description. The other can raise a legal red flag. I didn't know the distinction either until my guest, clinical psychologist and organizational consultant Dr. Jennifer Wisdom, stopped me mid-conversation and explained it.

And that wasn't the only moment that made me sit up straighter.

HR is not actually there to protect you.

If your workplace is making you miserable, you may feel like you have two choices: put up with it or quit. But there is an enormous middle ground between those two options, and you may have far more power than you realize.

Listen to learn:

• The critical difference between a toxic and hostile work environment

• The 3 questions to ask when something at work feels seriously wrong

• What you need to understand about HR before asking for help

• How to recognize when workplace behavior may be crossing a legal line

• What you can do when quitting isn’t an option

• How to create change, even when you’re not in charge

This isn't just a conversation about surviving a bad workplace. It's about what you can actually do about it.

By the end, you'll have concrete moves you can start making Monday morning. No new title, no permission, and no resignation letter required.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

You love them. So why can’t you shake the feeling that something might be wrong?

Nothing is bad enough to leave. There’s no glaring red flag. You’re happy… mostly. But when you imagine getting engaged, moving in together, having a baby, or saying this is my person forever, something inside you hesitates.

Do NOT ignore that feeling. But don’t assume it means you should break up, either.

In this episode, I’m sitting down with marriage and family therapist Dr. Benjamin Jones about the yellow, orange, and even beige flags that can leave you questioning your future together…and how to figure out what they actually mean.

Dr. Ben offers a reframe that changes everything: Stop waiting for certainty. Start looking for confidence.

You’ll learn:

• How to tell a solvable problem from a real deal breaker

• Why you should never marry someone expecting them to change

• The question to ask when you love someone but still aren’t sure

• Why confidence matters more than certainty

• Which relationship problems can actually get better with the right support

• Why waiting until after you’re engaged to ask the hard questions may be too late

If you’re questioning whether this is really your person, listen to this episode before you make your next move.

And if you want help figuring it out, book a free consultation with Dr. Ben at growingself.com/ben.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

The feeling you can’t shake isn’t going away. And there’s a reason.

The regret that keeps coming back. The boredom you feel in a life you actually love. The shame that whispers something terrible about you.

Your instinct might be to fix it. Get over it. Make it stop.

I want you to try something very different.

In this episode, I’m talking with psychotherapist Daniel Smith, author of Hard Feelings, about the emotions most of us would happily delete from our lives, and why getting rid of them might be exactly the wrong goal.

This conversation surprised me. Daniel says some things most people would never admit out loud. We get into regret, boredom, shame, anger, relationships, and the uncomfortable question that can completely change the way you understand what you’re feeling.

You’ll learn:

• Why some feelings keep coming back no matter how hard you try to move on

• The surprising connection between boredom and the things you love most

• What may really be hiding underneath an old regret

• Why shame deserves to be questioned, not automatically believed

• When a dark emotion deserves your attention (and when you need to push back)

• The one question I want you to ask the next time a hard feeling shows up

Because sometimes the feeling you’re trying hardest to escape is the one you need to understand.

And once you hear what it has to say, you might see your life very differently.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

If you’re doing EVERYTHING in your relationship and starting to resent the hell out of your partner for it…we need to talk.

You’re the one who notices. Remembers. Plans. Worries. Follows up. Makes sure things actually happen.

And after a while, it stops feeling like we’re in this together and starts feeling like: Why am I the only one who cares?

I’ve been a marriage counselor for over twenty years, and I can tell you: this dynamic can get ugly. Because underneath the arguments about dishes, schedules, kids, errands, and who was supposed to do what is something much more painful:

If you really loved me, why would you let me carry all of this alone?

That’s why I invited sociologist Dr. Leah Ruppanner, author of Drained, to join me for a very real conversation about mental load, resentment, and how to create a relationship that actually feels balanced again.

And some of what she shared surprised me.

Because the solution may not be getting your partner to do more. It may not be splitting everything 50/50. And some of the things you’re doing to make your relationship more equitable could actually be keeping you stuck.

You’ll discover:

• Why does the mental load turn into such intense resentment?

• What’s really happening when you feel like you’re the only one who cares?

• Why can asking your partner to “just help more” backfire?

• What if 50/50 isn’t actually the healthiest goal?

• Are you unknowingly making it harder for your partner to step up?

• And how do you change this dynamic when your partner isn’t changing?

If you’re exhausted from carrying your relationship (and even more exhausted from being angry about it), listen to this before you have the same fight again.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

What if the thing you’re most ashamed of isn’t proof that you’re a bad person…but proof that you care deeply about being a good one?

If there’s something you did (or didn’t do) that you still replay in your mind years later, I want you to hear this: There may be a name for what you’re carrying. Moral injury.

And no, healing it does not mean pretending it was okay.

In this episode, I’m talking with Dr. Jaimie Lusk, a board-certified psychologist, Marine Corps veteran, longtime VA clinician, and leading expert on moral injury. Together, we unpack why some experiences turn into crushing guilt and shame, and how to finally start loosening their grip.

You’ll learn:

• Why guilt that won’t go away may actually be evidence of your conscience

• What moral injury is and why it can leave you feeling fundamentally “bad”

• The “million-dollar question” that can completely change how you see what happened

• How to separate your actual responsibility from the responsibility you’ve taken on

• What to say when someone you love is withdrawing under the weight of shame

• Why healing isn’t about erasing the past, but about deciding what you do with it now

• How to find the right kind of professional help for moral injury

You cannot go back and change what happened.

But you do not have to spend the rest of your life punishing yourself for it.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

The problem isn't that you can't decide. It's that you have too many options. If every big decision feels exhausting, there's a reason for it, and it has nothing to do with willpower.

I know because I'm exactly the same way.

I once spent 90 minutes trying to pick something to watch on Netflix, watched every trailer, and finally handed the remote to my husband and said, "You choose." Sound familiar?

In this episode, I'm joined by David Epstein, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Range and bestselling author of Inside the Box: How Constraints Make Us Better. Together, we explore why keeping every door open is quietly making us more anxious, more overwhelmed, and less satisfied, and why creating limits is often the fastest path to clarity, confidence, and peace.

You'll learn:

• Why having more options often leads to more regret

• The surprising brain bias that keeps you stuck

• How to stop second-guessing yourself after you make a decision

• Why "good enough" beats trying to find the perfect choice

• How to make big life decisions feel smaller and less scary

• A simple subtraction exercise that instantly clarifies your priorities

• Why committing to one path actually gives you more freedom, not less

If you're tired of overthinking, afraid of making the wrong choice, or keeping every possibility alive because you don't want to miss out, this conversation will help you stop spinning and start moving forward.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

Money. Intimacy. Chores. Parenting. Sometimes it's just the way they said "okay." If it feels like you're fighting about everything, don't try to fix everything. Fix this first.

In this episode, I'm joined by my colleague Alejandra Piñero Stillmann, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Growing Self, to talk about the one change that makes every other relationship problem easier to solve: emotionally safe communication.

Because here's what I've learned after working with thousands of couples...

The fight you're having is rarely the real problem.

When couples feel stuck, they usually try to solve money, intimacy, parenting, or household conflict one issue at a time. But if every conversation turns into an argument, none of those problems stay solved. The foundation has to come first.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why you're probably fixing the wrong problem

• The real reason the same arguments keep happening

• What emotionally safe communication actually looks like

• How to stop seeing each other as opponents and start working as a team

• Why lasting relationship change takes practice—not perfection

• The one question to ask your partner tonight that can change the entire conversation

If you're ready to take the next step, download my free Communication That Connects training and workbook at www.growingself.com/communication.

And if you'd like personalized support, you can learn more about Alejandra Piñero Stillmann and book a free consultation at www.growingself.com/alejandra. Alejandra works with individuals and couples in both English and Spanish and specializes in helping people build healthier, more connected relationships.

Sometimes the biggest breakthrough in your relationship isn't solving the biggest fight. It's finally learning how to have a different conversation.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

I need you to stop making that pros-and-cons list. It’s not going to give you the answer.

When you’re trying to decide whether to leave a relationship, the not-knowing can feel unbearable. One day, you’re done. The next, you’re wondering whether you should try one more time.

I’ve worked with couples for decades, and here’s what I wish more people knew: You may not be stuck because you’re indecisive. You may be asking the wrong question.

In this episode, I’m talking with Growing Self marriage and family therapist Georgi Chizk about discernment counseling, a short, structured process that helps you stop spinning and start getting clear.

And there’s something important I want you to hear: You don’t have only two choices. There’s a third path nobody talks about.

Listen to learn:

• The one-to-ten question that reveals your true commitment level

• Why couples therapy can fail when one person is already leaning out

• How trying harder can accidentally push your partner further away

• The three legitimate paths forward, including choosing to stay

• Two exercises you can use tonight to begin finding clarity

You cannot repair a relationship until you know whether both people genuinely want to try.

And you don’t need to have the answer before asking for help.

Georgi offers free consultations for people who feel exhausted, uncertain, and ready to find a clear path forward.

Meet Georgi and schedule your free consultation at www.growingself.com/georgi.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

Money shame grows in silence. And the secret you’re carrying is hurting you more than the mistake itself.

My guest, Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche, woke up on her 30th birthday jobless, living in her childhood bedroom, and $300,000 in debt. She’d been scammed. She was facing foreclosure. And she was too ashamed to tell her own father—an accountant and CFO—while living under his roof.

Then she finally told the truth.

That moment changed everything.

In this deeply honest conversation, Tiffany and I unpack why emotional baggage related to money can be the biggest obstacle standing between where you are now and where you want to be financially. 

Learn why smart, capable people hide money mistakes, and why shame can keep those mistakes growing long after the original crisis is over. As Tiffany puts it, “shame shields solutions.”

Listen to learn:

• Why unresolved shame cripples your ability to become financially secure

• Why money shame feels so isolating

• How to separate a mistake from your identity

• The three patterns behind many financial disasters

• How to challenge the money story still running your life

• How to cultivate a positive relationship with money so that you can earn what you’re worth… and keep (and grow) your money!!

My friend, this is a very different way to think about your relationship with money. But working on yourself in this area unlocks the door to the financial prosperity and security that you want and deserve.

Xoxo,

Dr Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs

I need you to hear this: You do not have to feel ready to change your life.

But believing you need to feel ready? That’s what gets people stuck, every time. 

Here’s the deal: You already know what you need to do. But if you keep waiting—for confidence, motivation, certainty, or some magical sign that says, now…. that what needs to change.

The new idea: feeling ready comes after you take action, not before.

That was just one of the main takeaways from an incredibly inspiring conversation with Cate Hall — a woman who doesn’t just preach that, she lives it.  She’s used this method to become a Supreme Court attorney, #1-ranked poker player (really!), and most recently the author of You Can Just Do Things.

She’s here to teach you about the hidden reason smart, capable people stay stuck, and more importantly, how to break the pattern.

Listen to learn:

• The tiny shift that turns “someone should” into “I could”

• Why waiting for motivation may be the very thing keeping you frozen

• How to take action before your brain has talked you out of it

• Why rejection gets less powerful the moment you stop avoiding it

• How one brave move can create opportunities you never could have planned

You do not need a personality transplant.

You do not need a perfect plan.

You need one move. And that move can change everything.

So press play. Let’s get you moving.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

• Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

Music: Freedom Day by Andy Slatter

Sometimes, the people you love most can push your nervous system past its breaking point.

Nervous system regulation is what helps you stay grounded, communicate clearly, and respond instead of react. And when you don’t have it, you snap. You shut down. You get flooded, overwhelmed, or completely disconnected from the people you care about most.

You’re not failing. You’re not “too sensitive.” And you’re not bad at relationships.

Your nervous system may simply be overloaded.

I’m talking with emotional-development expert Alyssa Blask Campbell about why two people can experience the exact same moment in completely different ways, and how those invisible differences can create conflict, disconnection, and hurt feelings.

Listen to learn:

• The four hidden senses shaping your emotional world

• Why generic self-care works for some people—and fails others

• How sensory differences create surprising relationship conflicts

• The difference between numbing yourself and truly regulating

• How to build calming strategies that actually fit you

Sometimes the person you love isn’t ignoring you, overreacting, or being difficult.

Their nervous system may simply be speaking a different language.

I hope this conversation helps you understand yourself more deeply, take things less personally, and bring more compassion into your relationships.

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

• Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

• Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠