Friendships change as people grow, and those shifts can bring up grief, confusion, frustration, or fear.In this episode, we unpack how growth, life transitions, shifting values, and changing capacity can create tension in friendships, and why our first instinct is often to fix, judge, withdraw, or take it personally. We talk about how asking better questions, staying open instead of defensive, and making space for both grief and care can help friendships adapt rather than fall apart. The goal is not to force the relationship back to what it was, but to navigate change in a way that protects both connection and individuality.

Main Talking Points

• Friendship shifts

• Asking questions

• Resisting defensiveness

• Grieving change

• Staying connected

• Healthy boundaries

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⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning.

⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass.

Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠

⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today!

⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing???

⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. 

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

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Most relationships start with “I love you, you’re perfect”… and quickly turn into wanting your partner to change. The real problem isn’t usually whether they want to change—it’s that change is rarely A→B; it’s a process that requires understanding barriers, reducing shame, and building support. When couples shift from criticism to curiosity and create small, doable systems together, motivation increases and change becomes sustainable.

Talking points

• “Now change” cycle

• Wanting vs doing

• Shame kills change

• Barriers before solutions

• 1% systems

• Practice + support

Give Me Discounts! 

Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠

⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today!

⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass.

⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning.

⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing???

⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. 

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emotional availability isn’t about feeling emotions loudly or perfectly — it’s about presence, regulation, and the ability to hold space without shutting down or exploding. Our capacity shifts based on stress, attachment history, neurodivergence, and what’s happening in our window of tolerance. Instead of hunting for the “perfectly available” partner, growth starts with understanding your own patterns and learning to show up vulnerably and clearly.

Main Talking Points:

Window of tolerance

Capacity vs. timing

Attachment patterns

Vulnerable communication

Boundaries & regulation

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Why does it feel so disappointing to ask for what you want? In this episode, we unpack the hidden belief that “if I have to ask, it doesn’t count” — and how that mindset turns simple needs (compliments, celebration, affection) into silent resentment. We explore the shame, fear of failure, childhood triggers, and meaning-making underneath it all — and how shifting from mind-reading to curiosity can completely change the dynamic.

Main Talking Points: • Mind-reading myth • Meaning-making traps • Shame & fear • Childhood wounds • Process > content

Give Me Discounts!

Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠

⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today!

⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass.

⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning.

⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing???

⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. 

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠⁠

Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.

⁠⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠⁠

14 hours of relationship content

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When someone says, “I think my partner is a narcissist,” they’re usually not chasing a diagnosis—they’re trying to make sense of a relationship that feels controlling, confusing, and painful. This episode slows it way down and compares narcissism with insecure attachment patterns (pursuer/withdrawer) and neurodivergence, since the impact can look similar even when the why is totally different. The big differentiator they keep coming back to is flexibility: is there willingness to reflect, learn, repair, and change—even if slowly?

Main talking points

• Impact over labels

• Spectrum, not binary

• Rigidity vs flexibility

• Withdrawer mislabels

• Neurodivergent overlap

• Curiosity “experiments”

Give Me Discounts!

Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠

⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today!

⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass.

⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning.

⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing???

⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. 

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠⁠

Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.

⁠⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠⁠

14 hours of relationship content

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s been a wave of major U.S. events stirring up big emotions, and this episode stays out of political commentary to focus on how people psychologically respond—in themselves, in relationships, and online. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack how nervous-system activation, bias, privilege/positionality, and “defensive attribution” can shape what we believe, how safe we feel, and how we treat people who respond differently. They also walk through 10 common “archetypes” of coping with national unrest and offer a relational path forward: get curious, find safe places to process, and move from reactivity into values-based action.

Main Talking Points

• Nervous system activation

• Bias + “tribes”

• Defensive attribution

• Privilege + proximity

• 10 coping archetypes

• Curiosity over combat

Give Me Discounts!

Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠

⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today!

⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass.

⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning.

⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing???

⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. 

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠⁠

Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.

⁠⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠⁠

14 hours of relationship content

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Negotiation isn’t a “business skill” — it’s an everyday relationship skill. Today we sit down TED Talk speaker, best-selling author, and podcast host of Negotiate Anything, Kwame Christian. He is recognized as one of the world's top negotiation experts, and he got good at it by treating tough conversations like a learnable muscle (not a personality trait). 

He breaks great negotiation down into three core skills—listening, curiosity, and emotion management—and offers a flexible framework (“compassionate curiosity”) that keeps things collaborative instead of combative. The big shift: do the internal work first (name your feelings, get clear on what you want), then enter the conversation ready to validate, get curious, and problem-solve—without handing your well-being to the other person.

• Skill, not talent

• Everyday negotiations

• Unlearn Hollywood

• Self-awareness first

• 3 core skills

• Compassionate curiosity

Give Me Discounts!

Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠

⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today!

⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass.

⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning.

⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing???

⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. 

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠⁠

Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list.

⁠⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠⁠

14 hours of relationship content

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices