We're well-rested and our limb movements are OFF THE CHARTS, so we're ready to breathe out advice about confusingly-themed weddings, secret Arby's concerts, and a pressing need for Dr Pepper.

Suggested talking points: Cool Pap, Hot Crunchy Cuboid Chips, Doubledocs for a Buck, Squarespace is My Dad, Beef Racer, Vegan + Arbys

Border Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/our-services.html

You cannot imagine how it’s going this week. Grab your soup puppets and call Doctor Gargleballs, we’re off to kill some AI chatbots and teach snakes about soft boiled eggs. Might fuck around and invent Rango again while we’re at it.

Talking Points: Grokpot, Soupsame Street, Detroit Style Puppetry, Snake Mutiny Coaching, Mayo Upgrades, Put Them In Tuxedo, Glazed Buns and Thick Cream PLEASE

Border Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/our-services.html

We like to think of My Brother, My Brother, and Me as a safe space to talk about sharp bazongas, sick contra-bassoon riffs, and your shrimp walk with Jesus. But you have to be sure to get those skin puppies fed first.

Suggested Talking Points: Comic Relief Epona, Slick Skylar Gissondos, Only a Contra-Bassoon Can Defeat A Bassoon, Shrimp Out for Jesus

Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota: https://www.ilcm.org/donate/

This isn’t a celebrity-guest centric podcast at all, but we’re thinking maybe we can lure a famous mascot on if we fill our pockets with small stinky fish. Maybe that’s too forward. How about wing sauce? No, that’s too wild. I guess we’re just going to have to do a John Cougar Mellencamp impression instead.

Suggested Talking Points: The Kissing Hot Dog Restaurant, Old Grey Hair, Truemoon Show, What Did I Say That was So Buffalo Wild

Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota: https://www.ilcm.org/donate/

It's our 800th Episode, and it's about time we show our real face. For 16 years, you thought we were Da Gooberman, but really we're Monica Angela Rita! But don't worry, we're still full of great advice even though our souls are spread out across eighty-eight haunted piano keys.

Suggested Talking Points: Da Man in Da Goobermask, Be Gentle About Deck Size, Trade Your Brother for a Website, Hone Your Brain and Ditch Your Shame

Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota: https://www.ilcm.org/donate/

While we’re busy busting out of snow-bound homes with our five-pound mattocks, we’re also swinging solid advice about duck detectives, the world of shoe-shines, and fancy hand-squished burgers.

Suggested Talking Points: A Murder Most Fowl, We Use All Parts of the Joke, Non-American Burgers, Hot Palm on the Griddle, Must Be the Funny

Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota: https://www.ilcm.org/donate/

Don't sleep on this one, especially not with special sleep gel on your head. We've got a giant quesadilla full of advice about not-so-hot pizza, ransoming your family from bears, and sudden revelations about the Steve Miller Band.

Suggested talking points: Seven Sleepy Samurai, Neither Hot Nor Ready, Rupture Your Flesh Prison, Trade Up to a Broken House, A Bear Has My Family

Immigrant Defenders Law Center: https://www.immdef.org/

If we’re describing a fictional scenario, then we might as well be doctor-teachers in it, right? We’ve got a dual PhD in borrowing chickens, with a minor in un-making bad television shows, and we’re very excited for our groundbreaking advancements in the field of Stroganoff.

Suggested talking points: I Have Nipples Joker, Judas Cum Prudence, We say yes First and then we shit on it, Strogan-on, Beef Juice Novak, Crowen Wilson

Immigrant Defenders Law Center: https://www.immdef.org/

Get your giant jug of colon cleaning juice and settle in for some wisdom, hard earned through Wire and Ass. We have advice about stolen slippers, royal ice cream, and the horrors of group chat. And obviously, yes, about bathrooms.

Suggested talking points: Re-Laxative, Thirty-to-Thirty-six Boogie boards, Notice Us Squarespace Senpai, I’m Unjealous, Splash-Jug Taylor

Immigrant Defenders Law Center: https://www.immdef.org/

Another year, another chance to really grind down and dig up all the different ways we can to slant-rhyme with six. And twenty. Maybe. Buckle up, it’s about to get weird – we’re on the way to fist city with a stopover in jugstown!

Suggested talking points: GraNOla? GraYESa!, Und Und Und, Love it Lumpy, I’m Jazzin’ Here, Forgoveness

Immigrant Defenders Law Center: https://www.immdef.org/

Don’t go outside, it’s wet! Instead, cozy up with a wad of Big League Chew and your sorta creepy ghost husband, because we’re going to watch every holiday movie in existence to distract us from that utterly terrifying HUGE reindeer decoration. Why is it so BIG?

Suggested talking points: As Fat a Chocobo as this Zenny Can Purchase, Method Chain from Huntington Steel, Maybe I’m Not a Cool Hang, You’re Not an Online Cat, My Life Story: Fuck, My Husband’s a Ghost

Get your Candlenights 2025 tickets here: bit.ly/Candlenights2025

Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/