Get your giant jug of colon cleaning juice and settle in for some wisdom, hard earned through Wire and Ass. We have advice about stolen slippers, royal ice cream, and the horrors of group chat. And obviously, yes, about bathrooms.

Suggested talking points: Re-Laxative, Thirty-to-Thirty-six Boogie boards, Notice Us Squarespace Senpai, I’m Unjealous, Splash-Jug Taylor

Immigrant Defenders Law Center: https://www.immdef.org/

Another year, another chance to really grind down and dig up all the different ways we can to slant-rhyme with six. And twenty. Maybe. Buckle up, it’s about to get weird – we’re on the way to fist city with a stopover in jugstown!

Suggested talking points: GraNOla? GraYESa!, Und Und Und, Love it Lumpy, I’m Jazzin’ Here, Forgoveness

Immigrant Defenders Law Center: https://www.immdef.org/

Don’t go outside, it’s wet! Instead, cozy up with a wad of Big League Chew and your sorta creepy ghost husband, because we’re going to watch every holiday movie in existence to distract us from that utterly terrifying HUGE reindeer decoration. Why is it so BIG?

Suggested talking points: As Fat a Chocobo as this Zenny Can Purchase, Method Chain from Huntington Steel, Maybe I’m Not a Cool Hang, You’re Not an Online Cat, My Life Story: Fuck, My Husband’s a Ghost

Get your Candlenights 2025 tickets here: bit.ly/Candlenights2025

Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/

Glasses off! We're getting really serious about mystery underwear, the latest in celebrity feuds that we absolutely have a stake in, and being super duper weird about jellybeans.

Suggested talking points: Underwear Salvage Secrets, Pent-Up Product Love, Three Folksy Guys, Walton Goggins Grinch Goggle Glasses

Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/

Today’s episode is presented and hosted by three felt chicken wings named Justim, Navis, and Groffin. If you’re not into fuzzy food, they’ve also brought a variety of ways to yeet skeets, faux time-travel schemes, and Shakespeare’s suspiciously-named children. Something for everyone!

Suggested talking points: My Son Excelisinor, Internal ComFUNstion Engine, Pop In a Bud, Cursing Santa is the Chase Ornament

Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/

We've got all the headlines from Ozmopolitan Magazine! Someone you trust says Bigfoot is real! What should be on your life list? And where can you buy grown-up toothbrushes that sing to you? It's all the news you can use when you need to go out and touch Oz.

Suggested talking points: Nature Pervert, Vampire Town is Real, Cones Around Cones, Defying Cavity, Sip the Wicked Giblets

Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/

Welcome to our favorite podcast, LIVE from the Tobin Center in San Antonio, TX. It’s Me, My Husband, and My Sister, His Wife, a podcast where we sit in a Chilli’s and do a Chopped-style challenge using ingredients like tissue replacements, taco time knuckle tattoos, and questionable investment opportunities.

Suggested talking points: Sick Kid Store, Ice Wind Quest Guy, Bring Hot into Your Life, Raw Mom Energy, I Turn Trash into Jokes

Native American Aid: https://nativepartnership.org/naa/

ALERT! The Man vs Baby watch you’ve been waiting for with bated breath is here at last! Come for the elevated Bean experience, stay for the code chodes, the pies you’ll never get to try, and maybe even some sneaky free lasik.

Suggested talking points: Bohiminy Rhapsidy, Mr. Beauty, Justin McElroy Spider Grabber, Pie Can Be Anyfuck, Chicken Tontine, 99 Lasiks, Get Your Beast Wet

Native American Aid: https://nativepartnership.org/naa/

If we're a little bit off this week, it's not because our therapist is a vampire or that our favorite Krispy Kreme donut was retired. It's because of a big round orb in the sky that's slightly closer than usual . . . and also because our cat pissed on all our capes.

Suggested talking points: Derrick Saving Time, Too Much Dad Gusto, Mez Me Bro, 16 Permanent Doughboys

Native American Aid: https://nativepartnership.org/naa/

SHOW US YOUR DRAWERS! Do you keep your knives and your butter knives together, throwing caution to the wind? Maybe there's bees in there, in the guise of a baby? Or some seasonal coffee that's only 23 years out of date?

Suggested talking points: So Tired of Verse-ing, 30 Burger King Commercials Looped, Fork Fencing, Ass Up, Blade Down, Peter Remnolds' Predatory Practices, I'm Trying to Smell What the Rock is Cooking

Native American Aid: https://nativepartnership.org/naa/

After almost 800 episodes we finally make the big reveal that this has actually been a yo-yo-ing podcast the entire time. We talk in-depth about these orbs and demonstrate neat tricks like the Batman Punch, The Cilantro Grab, and the Crayon Saturn.

Suggested talking points: Realtime Youtube Metrics, Let Me Finish Turning on Our Religious Upbringing, Armed Farm Guards, Upside-down Apple, Crying at the Wendy's Drive-Thru

Border Angels: https://www.borderangels.org/