This isn’t a celebrity-guest centric podcast at all, but we’re thinking maybe we can lure a famous mascot on if we fill our pockets with small stinky fish. Maybe that’s too forward. How about wing sauce? No, that’s too wild. I guess we’re just going to have to do a John Cougar Mellencamp impression instead.

Suggested Talking Points: The Kissing Hot Dog Restaurant, Old Grey Hair, Truemoon Show, What Did I Say That was So Buffalo Wild

Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota: https://www.ilcm.org/donate/

It's our 800th Episode, and it's about time we show our real face. For 16 years, you thought we were Da Gooberman, but really we're Monica Angela Rita! But don't worry, we're still full of great advice even though our souls are spread out across eighty-eight haunted piano keys.

Suggested Talking Points: Da Man in Da Goobermask, Be Gentle About Deck Size, Trade Your Brother for a Website, Hone Your Brain and Ditch Your Shame

Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota: https://www.ilcm.org/donate/

While we’re busy busting out of snow-bound homes with our five-pound mattocks, we’re also swinging solid advice about duck detectives, the world of shoe-shines, and fancy hand-squished burgers.

Suggested Talking Points: A Murder Most Fowl, We Use All Parts of the Joke, Non-American Burgers, Hot Palm on the Griddle, Must Be the Funny

Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota: https://www.ilcm.org/donate/

Don't sleep on this one, especially not with special sleep gel on your head. We've got a giant quesadilla full of advice about not-so-hot pizza, ransoming your family from bears, and sudden revelations about the Steve Miller Band.

Suggested talking points: Seven Sleepy Samurai, Neither Hot Nor Ready, Rupture Your Flesh Prison, Trade Up to a Broken House, A Bear Has My Family

Immigrant Defenders Law Center: https://www.immdef.org/

If we’re describing a fictional scenario, then we might as well be doctor-teachers in it, right? We’ve got a dual PhD in borrowing chickens, with a minor in un-making bad television shows, and we’re very excited for our groundbreaking advancements in the field of Stroganoff.

Suggested talking points: I Have Nipples Joker, Judas Cum Prudence, We say yes First and then we shit on it, Strogan-on, Beef Juice Novak, Crowen Wilson

Immigrant Defenders Law Center: https://www.immdef.org/

Get your giant jug of colon cleaning juice and settle in for some wisdom, hard earned through Wire and Ass. We have advice about stolen slippers, royal ice cream, and the horrors of group chat. And obviously, yes, about bathrooms.

Suggested talking points: Re-Laxative, Thirty-to-Thirty-six Boogie boards, Notice Us Squarespace Senpai, I’m Unjealous, Splash-Jug Taylor

Immigrant Defenders Law Center: https://www.immdef.org/

Another year, another chance to really grind down and dig up all the different ways we can to slant-rhyme with six. And twenty. Maybe. Buckle up, it’s about to get weird – we’re on the way to fist city with a stopover in jugstown!

Suggested talking points: GraNOla? GraYESa!, Und Und Und, Love it Lumpy, I’m Jazzin’ Here, Forgoveness

Immigrant Defenders Law Center: https://www.immdef.org/

Don’t go outside, it’s wet! Instead, cozy up with a wad of Big League Chew and your sorta creepy ghost husband, because we’re going to watch every holiday movie in existence to distract us from that utterly terrifying HUGE reindeer decoration. Why is it so BIG?

Suggested talking points: As Fat a Chocobo as this Zenny Can Purchase, Method Chain from Huntington Steel, Maybe I’m Not a Cool Hang, You’re Not an Online Cat, My Life Story: Fuck, My Husband’s a Ghost

Get your Candlenights 2025 tickets here: bit.ly/Candlenights2025

Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/

Glasses off! We're getting really serious about mystery underwear, the latest in celebrity feuds that we absolutely have a stake in, and being super duper weird about jellybeans.

Suggested talking points: Underwear Salvage Secrets, Pent-Up Product Love, Three Folksy Guys, Walton Goggins Grinch Goggle Glasses

Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/

Today’s episode is presented and hosted by three felt chicken wings named Justim, Navis, and Groffin. If you’re not into fuzzy food, they’ve also brought a variety of ways to yeet skeets, faux time-travel schemes, and Shakespeare’s suspiciously-named children. Something for everyone!

Suggested talking points: My Son Excelisinor, Internal ComFUNstion Engine, Pop In a Bud, Cursing Santa is the Chase Ornament

Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/

We've got all the headlines from Ozmopolitan Magazine! Someone you trust says Bigfoot is real! What should be on your life list? And where can you buy grown-up toothbrushes that sing to you? It's all the news you can use when you need to go out and touch Oz.

Suggested talking points: Nature Pervert, Vampire Town is Real, Cones Around Cones, Defying Cavity, Sip the Wicked Giblets

Harmony House: https://harmonyhousewv.com/