- 25 minutes 53 secondsNice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office
Tom interviews Dr. Lois Frankel about women in the workplace and other ideas in the just-published third edition of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office.
Listen to the full, unedited conversation here.
Get the “Nice Girls” book, here.
If you’re curious about a chemistry call, pop Tom an email.
There are always more resources in our monthly email.
COACHES!
You are always welcome at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. Reach out to me if you want to know more. We’d love to have you. You’ll get CCE’s, too!
Related Library Categories:
Related Episodes
- 246Coaching versus Therapy
- 221Conflict
- 241 Conquering People Pleasing
- 222The Conflict Conversation
- 237Leading with Political Savvy – Part One
A transcript of the episode is here.
Thanks again for subscribing. And your reviews. You’re the best!
From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks for being such a great audience!
2 April 2026, 1:00 am - 23 minutes 49 secondsHow to Conquer Nervousness
Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned.
Tom’s top four idea for conquering nervousness:
- Write happy endings
- Celebrate incremental improvement
- Externalize your nasty voice
- Ignore your nerves
Applying these techniques using our free PDF about mastering nerves.
The clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety before a global audience is here.
Each month, we share additional tools in our monthly email.
If you’d like to explore Private Coaching with Tom, reach out to him at: [email protected].
COACHES!
Come join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. You’ll get CCE’s, too!
Related Library Categories:
- 71 - Act “As If”
- 62 - Choosing Persistence
- 147 - Conquering Fear
- 178 - The Executive Impostor
- 12 - Managing Nervousness
Grab a free transcript of the episode here.
We are so grateful for your reviews!
From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks for being such a great audience!
5 March 2026, 2:00 am - 25 minutes 2 secondsHumility as Strength
A leader is getting pressured to stop being so prickly and gain some humility. With her coach, she explores whether it’s even possible for humility to ever be a strength.
Core concepts in this episode:
- Humility is confidence without defensiveness.
- Assess yourself on the humility scale. “How do I respond to challenges?”
- Humble leaders are confident in their authority.
- Ask frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?”
- Humility requires active listening.
Questions addressed in this episode:
> Are humble leaders perceived as weak?
Some people may see humble leaders as weak, but humble leaders are actually confident in their authority.
> If humble leaders need confidence, will they be seen as arrogant?
No, because humble leaders do not fight for dominance. They invite the opinions of others and are non-defensive when challenged.
> How can I tell whether I am humble?
Ask yourself, “When I am challenged, what feelings do I experience?” Leaders who respond non-defensively are high in humility.
> What practices can I adopt to develop more humility?
Ask yourself frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?"
> What are the benefits to being a humble leader?
Your team will experience psychological safety and move towards high performance.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Humbitious: The Power of Low-Ego, High-Drive Leadership by Amer Kaissi explores how to be both ambitious and humble.
Links for coaches:
Join Tom and a community of coaches at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group.
The Los Angeles Chapter of International Coach Federation offers countless opportunities for CCEs and community building.
If you’re in the L.A. area, join the ICF-LA March Chapter meeting. And be sure to say ‘hi’ to Tom! Register here.
Each month, we share additional tools in our monthly email.
If you’d like to explore Private Coaching with Tom, reach out to him at: [email protected].
This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library:
Personal Growth & Self-Development
Related Episodes:
260 - How to Guarantee Psychological Safety
232 - Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence
Thank you so much for your reviews!
5 February 2026, 2:00 am - 23 minutes 25 secondsLeading When Ego at the Top Is Unchecked
A chief officer is infuriated by the behavior of his egomaniacal CEO. With his coach, he explores how to be a healthy leader while reporting to a boss he doesn’t respect.
Core concepts in this episode:
- Egomaniacs rattle our sense of self.
- They will not change.
- Worrying does not help.
- Be accountable for how you show up. Manage yourself.
- Don’t take anything personally. They’re just a piece on a chess board.
- Ask yourself: “Am I seeing this person clearly?” Don’t allow emotions to drive your actions.
- Ask yourself: “How do I want to show up?” You have choice about what you prioritize and how you react in the workplace.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Crucial Conversations provides scripts and thoughts that will help you manage yourself when dealing with difficult people.
Tom and host Dave Stachowiak discussed “How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk” on this episode of Coaching for Leaders. Great tools if you have a challenging boss.
Before sharing your reactions in the workplace, consider the politics around you. These two episodes will get you “Leading with Political Savvy” Parts 1 and 2.
Each month, there are additional tools in our monthly email.
If you’d like to explore Private Coaching, reach out to Tom. [email protected].
This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library:
Perception – How You Perceive Others
RELATED EPISODES
239- 5 Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists
189 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally”
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your reviews!
Wishing you a year of growth and development!
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team, thank you so much for listening.
8 January 2026, 2:00 am - 23 minutes 19 secondsHow to Grow Your People
A senior vice-president worries that attention on his people’s development will get overwhelmed in the volume of work. He asks his coach for tools to make the process effective and efficient.
Download our free tool that maps the Three Conversations Development Plan.
Core Concepts
Prioritizing professional development is hard.
The 3-Conversation model makes development easy for the leader and meaningful for the person.
The three conversations in summary:
- Define ‘what,’ ‘why’ and give homework;
- The person reflects on the homework and how they plan to improve;
- Periodic check-ins about the homework. ‘What are you learning?’
The leader’s role in these conversations:
- Clarify the ‘what’ and ‘why’
- Listen and encourage
- Ask, ‘What are you learning?’
You can sign-up for more resources and tools in our monthly email.
If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. [email protected].
This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library:
RELATED EPISODES
258 How to Manage Defensive People
Thanks, as always, for your reviews!
Happy holidays.
Until next time, thanks so much for listening.
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
11 December 2025, 2:00 am - 20 minutes 47 secondsHow to Motivate and Inspire
After a leader turns around the performance of one of his direct reports, he and his coach explore how it happened. And how to make it stick.
Core ideas in the episode:
- Workplaces improve when positive feedback is present
- Our natural human negative bias is a barrier to giving positive feedback.
- Learn to notice when things go well.
- Tell people how they are helping solve the puzzle that is work.
- Research says the most effective feedback ratio is 4-to-1, positive to developmental.
Positive Feedback might sound like this:
- Recognize what’s going well – and be specific
- Appreciate how it’s helping solve the puzzle
- Express your thanks
Developmental Feedback might sound like this:
- Describe what happened – and be specific
- Explain how it affects the puzzle solving effort
- Express your hope for a different outcome
You can Sign-up for more resources and tools in our monthly email.
If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. [email protected].
This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library:
Perception – How You Perceive Others
Related episodes to listen to are:
119 - Creating Devoted Followers
212 - How to Coach Your People
255 - How to Deepen Relationships at Work
260 - How to Guarantee Psychological Safety
Thanks, as always, for your reviews!
Until next time, thanks so much for listening.
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
6 November 2025, 2:00 am - 22 minutes 44 secondsHow to Guarantee Psychological Safety
A toxic boss destroys psychological safety on her team. One of her direct reports talks to his coach about how to survive. And how to keep his own team safe.
Core ideas in the episode:
- Don’t take other people’s bad behavior personally.
- You are not a victim. You have choice.
- Document repeated bad behavior.
- Openly discussing mistakes without blame creates safety on a team.
- As the leader, be willing to admit your own mistakes.
- Ask people: “How do you think that went?” and “What could we do differently?” Then listen without debate or rebuttal.
A free infographic supports this episode. Download it here.
The episode referred to about creating strong personal relationships is:
Sign-up for monthly resources and tools in our monthly email.
Curious about coaching for yourself or someone on your team? Let’s talk. [email protected].
COACHES! Want to see this year’s pricing survey results? Pop me an email at: [email protected].
And come join the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check it out here.
Get additional tools for keeping yourself and your team psychologically safe in our podcast library in these three categories:
Additional episodes to listen to are:
70 - Assertion Versus Aggression
"75 - Don’t Take Anything Personally”
222- The Conflict Conversation
Your reviews help the show stay ad-free.
Until next time, thanks!
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
2 October 2025, 1:00 am - 23 minutes 50 secondsHow to Supercharge Introversion
Concerned his introversion makes him less effective, a corporate vice president asks for coaching – from an extrovert! Together, the coach and client explore ways to assure his introversion is a strength.
Myers Briggs Type Indicator assesses four preferences. One is Introversion and Extroversion. Download a free sample of the profile report here.
The six tools unpacked in this episode are:
- Manage your energy
- Monitor your self-talk
- Have ideas ready
- Manage your calendar
- Share comfortably about yourself
- Develop both your thoughts and your skills
Listen to Tom’s conversation with Tom & Tom on the Beyond Podcast episode.
Learn “How to Make Small Talk with Executives” on the Coaching for Leaders podcast.
Curious about coaching? Shoot me an email. [email protected].
Visiting the website? Sign-up for tools and resources in our monthly email.
Help yourself to our free infographics in the Essential Tools bin.
Get more support for supercharging your introversion in our podcast library in these three categories:
Additional episodes you could listen to are:
241 - Conquering People Pleasing
210 - How to Grow Your Self-Management
211 - How to Show Up as More of Yourself
254 - How to Talk so People Understand You
Your reviews help the show stay ad-free.
So? Were these tools about introversion helpful? Let me know!
Until next time, thanks!
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
11 September 2025, 1:00 pm - 28 minutes 24 secondsHow to Manage Defensive People
A leader with a direct report who is, she says, the most defensive person she’s ever known, devotes an entire coaching session to gathering tools to help her cope.
All the tools and ideas and scripts in this episode are in an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here.
To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements.
Dig into more tools for managing defensive people in our podcast library in these three categories:
Additional episodes you could listen to are:
216 - 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks
60 - Be Impeccable with Your Word
35 - Handling Defensive Behaviors
138 - Managing Disruptive Executives
Additional tools and resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.
Curious about coaching? Shoot me an email. [email protected].
All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.
Your reviews help the show continue as an ad-free podcast.
Let us know how we can support you.
Until next time, thanks!
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
7 August 2025, 1:00 am - 22 minutes 13 secondsHow to Own Healthy Assertion
Still traumatized over an angry explosion she’d aimed at an abusive leader years before, a leader asks her coach to help her access healthy assertion to use during moments of conflict.
Where are you on the assertion scale? Our assessments will tell you.
In the episode, ASSERTION got divided into two skills:
AWARENESS and EXPRESSION.
The four-step script to build healthy ASSERTION is:
- Situation
- Feeling
- Want
- Outcome
Part of assertion is EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
Our tool defines EQ and gives exercises. Download it here.
“Unlocking Executive Presence Through Emotional Intelligence” Episode 232. The concept explained and tools provided.
Download “The Feeling Word Grid” here.
Ready for an amazing growth experience? Explore Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead course.
Often recommended. Always helpful. Crucial Conversations.
More tools in the ASSERTIVENESS category in the archive.
Episodes with assertiveness tools:
210 - How to Grow Your Self-Management
86 - Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries
Considering coaching? Talk with Tom. Send him an email here.
Additional resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.
Until next time!
Thanks! from The Look & Sound of Leadership team
10 July 2025, 1:00 am - 20 minutes 36 secondsHow to Create Engagement Online
Convinced that participants need to engage in order to learn, a leader is discouraged after the cheerless rollout of her online learning program. She turns to her coach for help facilitating virtual groups.
Tools in this episode:
Tone-setting at the opening:
- Get people engaged by using the chat to think together;
- Get people engaged by thinking about how they will show up (ground rules);
- Ask: “How engaged do you want to be?” Rank 1 – 7 in chat.
(#3 came from Michael Bungay Stanier who wrote The Coaching Habit and hosts the Change Signal podcast. Much gratitude!)
Three facilitation skills:
- Use learning questions;
- Redirect; don’t be the hub;
- Activate your deadpan.
All our infographics are available for free in our Tools Bin. Help yourself.
Tom’s most recent conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching for Leaders explored How to Take Initiative. A lively, thought-provoking episode.
Coaches! Join us at ICF Los Angeles’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website, then come join us!
Categories in the archive to explore for more ideas about deepening relationships:
Episodes with more tools for engagement:
253 - How to Answer Questions Powerfully
34 - Keeping Repeated Material Fresh
143 - Powerful Tools for Team: Plus / Delta
Are you coach curious? Talk with Tom. Send him an email here.
Additional resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.
Until next time!
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
5 June 2025, 1:00 am - More Episodes? Get the App