The Look & Sound of Leadership
Essential Communications - Tom Henschel
An ongoing series of Executive Coaching Tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived.
- 23 minutes 19 secondsHow to Grow Your People
A senior vice-president worries that attention on his people’s development will get overwhelmed in the volume of work. He asks his coach for tools to make the process effective and efficient.
Download our free tool that maps the Three Conversations Development Plan.
Core Concepts
Prioritizing professional development is hard.
The 3-Conversation model makes development easy for the leader and meaningful for the person.
The three conversations in summary:
- Define ‘what,’ ‘why’ and give homework;
- The person reflects on the homework and how they plan to improve;
- Periodic check-ins about the homework. ‘What are you learning?’
The leader’s role in these conversations:
- Clarify the ‘what’ and ‘why’
- Listen and encourage
- Ask, ‘What are you learning?’
You can sign-up for more resources and tools in our monthly email.
If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. [email protected].
This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library:
RELATED EPISODES
258 How to Manage Defensive People
Thanks, as always, for your reviews!
Happy holidays.
Until next time, thanks so much for listening.
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
11 December 2025, 2:00 am - 20 minutes 47 secondsHow to Motivate and Inspire
After a leader turns around the performance of one of his direct reports, he and his coach explore how it happened. And how to make it stick.
Core ideas in the episode:
- Workplaces improve when positive feedback is present
- Our natural human negative bias is a barrier to giving positive feedback.
- Learn to notice when things go well.
- Tell people how they are helping solve the puzzle that is work.
- Research says the most effective feedback ratio is 4-to-1, positive to developmental.
Positive Feedback might sound like this:
- Recognize what’s going well – and be specific
- Appreciate how it’s helping solve the puzzle
- Express your thanks
Developmental Feedback might sound like this:
- Describe what happened – and be specific
- Explain how it affects the puzzle solving effort
- Express your hope for a different outcome
You can Sign-up for more resources and tools in our monthly email.
If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. [email protected].
This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library:
Perception – How You Perceive Others
Related episodes to listen to are:
119 - Creating Devoted Followers
212 - How to Coach Your People
255 - How to Deepen Relationships at Work
260 - How to Guarantee Psychological Safety
Thanks, as always, for your reviews!
Until next time, thanks so much for listening.
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
6 November 2025, 2:00 am - 22 minutes 44 secondsHow to Guarantee Psychological Safety
A toxic boss destroys psychological safety on her team. One of her direct reports talks to his coach about how to survive. And how to keep his own team safe.
Core ideas in the episode:
- Don’t take other people’s bad behavior personally.
- You are not a victim. You have choice.
- Document repeated bad behavior.
- Openly discussing mistakes without blame creates safety on a team.
- As the leader, be willing to admit your own mistakes.
- Ask people: “How do you think that went?” and “What could we do differently?” Then listen without debate or rebuttal.
A free infographic supports this episode. Download it here.
The episode referred to about creating strong personal relationships is:
Sign-up for monthly resources and tools in our monthly email.
Curious about coaching for yourself or someone on your team? Let’s talk. [email protected].
COACHES! Want to see this year’s pricing survey results? Pop me an email at: [email protected].
And come join the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check it out here.
Get additional tools for keeping yourself and your team psychologically safe in our podcast library in these three categories:
Additional episodes to listen to are:
70 - Assertion Versus Aggression
"75 - Don’t Take Anything Personally”
222- The Conflict Conversation
Your reviews help the show stay ad-free.
Until next time, thanks!
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
2 October 2025, 1:00 am - 23 minutes 50 secondsHow to Supercharge Introversion
Concerned his introversion makes him less effective, a corporate vice president asks for coaching – from an extrovert! Together, the coach and client explore ways to assure his introversion is a strength.
Myers Briggs Type Indicator assesses four preferences. One is Introversion and Extroversion. Download a free sample of the profile report here.
The six tools unpacked in this episode are:
- Manage your energy
- Monitor your self-talk
- Have ideas ready
- Manage your calendar
- Share comfortably about yourself
- Develop both your thoughts and your skills
Listen to Tom’s conversation with Tom & Tom on the Beyond Podcast episode.
Learn “How to Make Small Talk with Executives” on the Coaching for Leaders podcast.
Curious about coaching? Shoot me an email. [email protected].
Visiting the website? Sign-up for tools and resources in our monthly email.
Help yourself to our free infographics in the Essential Tools bin.
Get more support for supercharging your introversion in our podcast library in these three categories:
Additional episodes you could listen to are:
241 - Conquering People Pleasing
210 - How to Grow Your Self-Management
211 - How to Show Up as More of Yourself
254 - How to Talk so People Understand You
Your reviews help the show stay ad-free.
So? Were these tools about introversion helpful? Let me know!
Until next time, thanks!
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
11 September 2025, 1:00 pm - 28 minutes 24 secondsHow to Manage Defensive People
A leader with a direct report who is, she says, the most defensive person she’s ever known, devotes an entire coaching session to gathering tools to help her cope.
All the tools and ideas and scripts in this episode are in an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here.
To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements.
Dig into more tools for managing defensive people in our podcast library in these three categories:
Additional episodes you could listen to are:
216 - 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks
60 - Be Impeccable with Your Word
35 - Handling Defensive Behaviors
138 - Managing Disruptive Executives
Additional tools and resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.
Curious about coaching? Shoot me an email. [email protected].
All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.
Your reviews help the show continue as an ad-free podcast.
Let us know how we can support you.
Until next time, thanks!
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
7 August 2025, 1:00 am - 22 minutes 13 secondsHow to Own Healthy Assertion
Still traumatized over an angry explosion she’d aimed at an abusive leader years before, a leader asks her coach to help her access healthy assertion to use during moments of conflict.
Where are you on the assertion scale? Our assessments will tell you.
In the episode, ASSERTION got divided into two skills:
AWARENESS and EXPRESSION.
The four-step script to build healthy ASSERTION is:
- Situation
- Feeling
- Want
- Outcome
Part of assertion is EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
Our tool defines EQ and gives exercises. Download it here.
“Unlocking Executive Presence Through Emotional Intelligence” Episode 232. The concept explained and tools provided.
Download “The Feeling Word Grid” here.
Ready for an amazing growth experience? Explore Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead course.
Often recommended. Always helpful. Crucial Conversations.
More tools in the ASSERTIVENESS category in the archive.
Episodes with assertiveness tools:
210 - How to Grow Your Self-Management
86 - Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries
Considering coaching? Talk with Tom. Send him an email here.
Additional resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.
Until next time!
Thanks! from The Look & Sound of Leadership team
10 July 2025, 1:00 am - 20 minutes 36 secondsHow to Create Engagement Online
Convinced that participants need to engage in order to learn, a leader is discouraged after the cheerless rollout of her online learning program. She turns to her coach for help facilitating virtual groups.
Tools in this episode:
Tone-setting at the opening:
- Get people engaged by using the chat to think together;
- Get people engaged by thinking about how they will show up (ground rules);
- Ask: “How engaged do you want to be?” Rank 1 – 7 in chat.
(#3 came from Michael Bungay Stanier who wrote The Coaching Habit and hosts the Change Signal podcast. Much gratitude!)
Three facilitation skills:
- Use learning questions;
- Redirect; don’t be the hub;
- Activate your deadpan.
All our infographics are available for free in our Tools Bin. Help yourself.
Tom’s most recent conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching for Leaders explored How to Take Initiative. A lively, thought-provoking episode.
Coaches! Join us at ICF Los Angeles’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website, then come join us!
Categories in the archive to explore for more ideas about deepening relationships:
Episodes with more tools for engagement:
253 - How to Answer Questions Powerfully
34 - Keeping Repeated Material Fresh
143 - Powerful Tools for Team: Plus / Delta
Are you coach curious? Talk with Tom. Send him an email here.
Additional resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.
Until next time!
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
5 June 2025, 1:00 am - 26 minutes 33 secondsHow to Deepen Relationships at Work
Knowing she’s never been good with people, a leader seeks coaching to her deepen relationships in ways she can tolerate.
Two ways to deepen workplace relationships:
Matching & Curiosity
4 Ways to Match:
- Match Purpose
- Match Energy
- Match Conversations
- Match Vulnerability
Express Curiosity by Asking Deep Questions
- Make sure your questions are open-ended
- Invite reflection
- Keep the other person talking
Answering questions powerfully is another way to deepen relationships. Check out our recent episode on that topic.
Deepen relationships at work by listening to Dave Stachowiak’s conversation on Coaching For Leaders with Charles Duhigg about his book Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.
Recently, Tom joined Dave on Coaching for Leaders to explore How to Take Initiative. A lively, thought-provoking episode.
Coaches! Join us at ICF Los Angeles’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website.
Categories in the archive to explore for more ideas about deepening relationships:
Five episodes that’ll help you get deeper:
Are you ready to invest in yourself? We offer listeners world-class coaching at an affordable price. Reach out to Tom here.
Transcripts of every episode, including this one, are available for free here.
More resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.
Until next time!
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
6 May 2025, 12:00 am - 23 minutes 7 secondsHow to Talk so People Understand You
A leader is losing credibility with her senior leaders. Her boss thinks she can turn it around by learning the sorting tool that transformed him as a communicator, so he brings in the coach who taught him.
Sorting & Labeling! The grandaddy of all communication tools. If you can sort and label you will sound like a leader.
The four steps in Sorting & Labeling:
- Use a headline
- Use a number
- Label each number
- Transition with clarity
See it all for yourself in our free Sorting & Labeling infographic.
To all women who work in social or environmental change: Women’s Impact Alliance wants to support you. Check out their website to see all they ways they can help you succeed.
Coaches! Come join our Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website.
Categories of episodes that have more ways to help you talk so people understand you:
Five episodes that’ll speed you down the path:
106 - Communicating with Clarity
253 - How to Answer Questions Powerfully
Curious about coaching for yourself? We offer a special program for listeners. Reach out to Tom here.
Transcripts of this and every episode are available for free here.
More resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here!
Until next time!
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
3 April 2025, 1:00 am - 22 minutes 54 secondsHow to Answer Questions Powerfully
A leader was given one goal for his coaching: improve how he answered questions. Knowing he struggled with this not only at work, but at home, he asked his coach for tools.
Our free PDF shows the two scripts: one for closed-ended questions, one for open-ended. Download it here.
Don’t assume you know why people ask what they ask. You don’t. Ever.
The closed-ended script:
- Answer what’s asked
- Match Length
- Check for understanding
- Then add your details
No mattress stuffing!
It’s a customer service exchange.
The open-ended script:
- Start with a number
- Label the first item
- Explain in brief
Make the leap. Start with a number. It’ll be okay.
When you know things, use this script. You will sound expert.
The open-ended script is a variation of the Sorting & Labeling tool. Download the PDF and listen to the episode.
CALLING ALL COACHES!
Come join ICF-LA’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We’d love to see you. Check us out here.
Related categories in the library:
Perception – How Others Perceive You
Five related episodes:
215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire
249 - How to Tackle Overtalking
151 - Under Executive Questioning
Have ideas about how “The Look & Sound of Leadership” might grow and evolve? Share your ideas with Tom here.
Transcripts of this and every episode are available for free here.
Our monthly email, with resources you don’t hear about on the show. Subscribe here!
Wishing you spring freshness,
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
6 March 2025, 2:00 am - 24 minutes 4 secondsHow to Build Self-Esteem
A leader suddenly hears how harshly she speaks to herself. Wanting help, she turns to her coach who gives her tools to build a practice of self-esteem.
The three self-esteem practices are:
- Self-Acceptance: Practice being FOR yourself
- Self-Worth & Happiness: Practice saying, “I am worthy of being happy”
- Live in Reality: Practice acknowledging what is and what is not.
Download our free Feeling Words Grid.
The Tools bin with other free resources is here.
Four ways to help you live in reality:
- Respect facts
- Respect facts about yourself
- Interpretations are not facts
- Feelings are not facts
Nathaniel Branden’s “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” is still a definitive work. Check out the 31-week sentence completion exercise in the back.
Related categories in the library:
Perception – How You Perceive Yourself
Five related episodes:
241 - Conquering People Pleasing
209 - How to Build Self-Awareness
231 - Staying Afloat in a Shitstorm
Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.
Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.
Our monthly email – finally easy to subscribe to! Click here!
CALLING ALL COACHES!
Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We meet six times a year. Our first meeting in 2025 is Friday, February 14th, 9:00 am Pacific.
2025 Meeting Dates
February 14
April 11
June 13
August 8
September 12
November 14
Fridays, 9:00 – 10:30am Pacific
Sponsored by ICF-LA
Stay safe, everyone.
From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
6 February 2025, 2:00 am - More Episodes? Get the App