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Question: We’re getting close to adopting our foster child, and I keep worrying there are things we should be asking for before finalization that we don’t even know to request. What information or records should we make sure to get from the agency so we truly understand our child’s history and needs?

Resources:

• 23 Crucial Questions to Ask at Foster Care Placement Meetings
• Are You Considering Foster Care Adoption This Year?
• Adopting a Child of a Different Race or Culture

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

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Many parents raising adopted, foster, or kinship children feel like they’re carrying most of the parenting load alone. Talking about it and changing it can be hard. In this episode, Josh Davis, PhD, shares practical, non-blaming strategies to improve communication, build confidence, and create a stronger parenting partnership when raising kids from hard places. As Father's Day approaches, Josh also offers some downloads for Dads!

In this episode, we discuss:

• How common is it for one person in a partnership or marriage to feel as if the parenting load is uneven?
• How can we influence the relationship to invite our partners into a more balanced dynamic?
• What are the common reasons partners step back instead of stepping in? 
• What are some signs that maybe criticism—even subtle—is affecting our partner’s willingness to engage?
• What do you mean by “lowering the barrier to involvement?”
• How can we offer specific, doable examples to our partners without “telling them what to do?”
• What scripts can we use, or what language, to invite partnership?
• For parents/caregivers raising challenging kids who require a LOT of time, energy, emotional investment, etc., what are some helpful ways to stay emotionally connected and protect their marriage or partnership?
• If a listener wants to take what they’ve learned here and invite their partner in to share the parenting load, what are one or two first steps to try? 

Resources:

• Celebrating & Supporting Men in Foster & Kinship Care
• Josh Davis, PhD  - www.joshdavisphd.com/www.joshdavisphd.com and www.nlpfordads.com 
• Why Mentors are Crucial When Raising Relative Kids

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: Our daughter is 11 months old and was adopted through an open adoption. We have a relationship with her birth mother, but don't yet feel it's the right moment to ask about family history, and her birth father is completely unknown to us. We do know that both birth parents are Hispanic, but beyond that, we have no additional information about her heritage or background. We want her to grow up with as rich a sense of her identity and heritage as possible. What guidance do adoption professionals offer around using genetic testing like 23andMe or AncestryDNA for adoptees? Is there an age-appropriate time to do this, or is it better to wait and let her decide for herself when she's older? Are there any other considerations unique to the adoptee experience we should keep in mind?

Resources:

• Genetic Testing for Adoptees: Key Considerations and Benefits
• Genetic Testing for Adoptees - Is It Worth It?
• Genetic Testing and Genealogy for Adoptees

Listen here to learn more about our Executive Director, Linda Fiore

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

We talk a lot about the child’s experience in foster care, but what is this experience like for the child’s birth parents? You may be surprised! Join our conversation with Dr. Darcey Merritt, a professor at the University of Chicago School of Social Work who researches this topic.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What is a typical scenario, if there is such a thing, of how a parent finds themselves connecting with the child welfare system?
• What rights do birth parents have within the system?
• What are some of the challenges families face before the child is taken into custody?
• What are some of the challenges that they face once the child is in foster care?
• How can you become an ally to the child’s parents?
• How does poverty factor in?
• Who most commonly reports birth parents to child welfare?
• How does race factor in?
• Research in the area of working memory on parental decision-making.

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: We’re new foster parents and have noticed that our child is hiding food in their backpack, closet, and even under the bed. We make sure there’s always plenty to eat, so we’re confused and a little concerned. Is this something we should be worried about? Why might they be doing this, and how should we respond in a way that helps them feel safe?

Resources:

• Practical Solutions to Typical Food Issues with Adopted, Foster, & Kinship Kids
• Physical and Emotional Health Issues Common with Foster Kids
• Panel of Parents Adopting Older Kids: Surviving That 1st Year

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Raising kids while caring for aging parents is more common than ever—and often overwhelming. We talk with Robyn Wind, the GRAND Voices Support Coordinator for the National Center on Grandfamilies at Generations United, about the realities of sandwich generation caregiving and practical ways foster, adoptive, and kinship families can find support. 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Can we start with a working definition of the term “sandwich generation”?
• How have you seen that definition evolve in recent years? 
• From your work with the National Center on Grandfamilies and Generations United, what are you seeing right now that suggests this is becoming a bigger issue? 
• What are the most common pressures you hear caregivers talk about?
• Where do you see caregivers feeling the most “pulled apart” between generations for whom they are caring? What are the moments when they feel like they can’t meet everyone’s needs at once?
• Are there differences in how this shows up for: 
  • Parents of young children vs. teens? 
  • Kinship caregivers or grandparents raising grandchildren? 
• Many of our listeners are already parenting children with trauma or complex needs. How does that layer onto sandwich caregiving? 
• Do you see unique challenges for kinship caregivers who may already be caring for grandchildren and are now also caring for aging spouses or siblings? 
• What are some ways systems unintentionally fail these families? Where do they tend to fall through the cracks? 
• What would better support look like if systems were truly designed for multigenerational families? 
• What are the early signs that a caregiver is stretched too thin and at risk?
• What does realistic self-care actually look like in this season of life? 
• How do you advise the caregivers you support to balance guilt or feelings of inadequacy, given that there is SO much need on both sides of their sandwich?
• What supports should caregivers try to put in place early? 
• How can families share this sandwich-caring experience more effectively, instead of having one person carry it all? 
• What resources or programs from Generations United should caregivers know about? 
• What strengths do you see in sandwich generation families that we don’t talk about enough? 

Resources:

• 'Sandwich generation' caregivers caught between two generations in need
• Caring for Those Who Are Caring for Everyone: The Sandwich Generation 
• Generations United
• Grandfamilies.org
• GKSNetwork.org
• Grandfamilies & Kinship University - Generations United

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: I’m in the process of adopting an infant and feeling overwhelmed by the paperwork. How do I get my child’s birth certificate and Social Security number after the adoption is finalized? What steps do I need to take, what documents are required, and how does this vary by state?

Resources:

• Where to Write for Vital Records: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Health Statistics
• Social Security Administration

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Are you considering residential treatment for your adopted child? We speak with Daniel Hochstetler of Fair Play Camp in South Carolina about preparing our families for residential treatment, navigating the programs, and how to set our families up for success after treatment. 

In this episode, we talk about:

• Pursuing residential treatment is one of the hardest decisions adoptive families can face. Based on your experience, how should we think about residential treatment within the broader picture of supporting our adopted kids? (i.e., exists on the spectrum of resources and interventions)
• Before we get into the details, what do you want adoptive families to hear right away if residential treatment is something they think they may need to consider?
• When we say residential treatment in this conversation, what does that mean?
• How is it different from other supports families may have already tried, like therapy, out-patient programs, or in-home services?
• What kinds of needs is residential treatment for adopted kids designed to meet?
• In your experience, how can residential care be helpful for kids and families who are really struggling?
• What are some misunderstandings that make this option feel more frightening or confusing than it needs to be?
• This is where many parents feel stuck. What are some signs that a family may need to start thinking about a higher level of care?
• Who should be part of making this decision? How can adoptive parents make sure they’re not making it in isolation?
• When a family finds it necessary to move forward to placement in residential care, how can they talk with their child about residential treatment in a way that keeps the relationship intact?
• What reactions should parents expect, and how can they respond in ways that don’t escalate their child’s fear or shame?
• How can families stay connected while their child is in care?
• What helps parents partner well with the treatment team?
• Coming home is an important goal for parents and their kids to work toward. But it’s not a reset button that magically clears the cache. It is, however, another transition. And transitions can be hard on everyone.
• What can you help our listeners understand about the transition home from the child’s perspective?
  • How should we be talking with our kids before leaving the residential program?
  • What are realistic expectations for those first few weeks?
• What supports should already be in place before a child comes home? (work with caseworker from treatment, get recommendations, referrals, etc.)
• What are some simple ways to rebuild a connection without overwhelming the child?
• When old behaviors resurface—and they often do—how should parents respond?
• What does progress actually look like in real life during this phase?
• This experience affects everyone in the home. How can parents support siblings who may have been impacted by what’s happened?
• Parents are often exhausted by this point. What does realistic, doable support look like for caregivers themselves?
• If a parent listening today feels like they’re nearing this decision, what’s one step they can take to feel more grounded and prepared for the experience?

Resources:

• Parenting Children with Challenging Behavior (Resource Page)
• Accessing Residential Treatment Care for Adoptees
• Exploring Medication for Adopted Children
• Does Your Child Need Residential Treatment
• Get Residential Treatment for Your Child

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: The school thinks my foster son may have ADHD, but I know he’s been through a lot of trauma. How do I know what’s driving his behavior and how to advocate for the support he actually needs?

Resources:

• The Grandparents' Guide to Back to School
• How Do Teachers Understand Adoption and What Can Parents Do About It?
• A Parent's Guide to Working with the Schools on Behavior
• Back to School with Foster and Adopted Kids
• Understood.org

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

What if families had support before a crisis led to foster care? In this episode, we talk with Dr. David Anderson, psychologist and founder and executive director of SAFE Families for Children, about a community-based model that helps keep children safe while supporting parents through difficult seasons. Dr. Anderson also serves as Executive Director of Lydia Home Association in Chicago and has been recognized as an Ashoka Fellow and Prime Movers Fellow.

In this episode, we discuss:

• For someone new to SAFE Families, how would you explain what it is?
• Can you share a little about yourself and what drew you to create SAFE Families?
• Who are the families you serve, and what situations bring them to you?
• Why is a program like SAFE Families especially needed right now?
• What happens to families when this kind of support isn’t available?
• How is SAFE Families different from traditional foster care?
• What kinds of training and screening do volunteers undergo?
• What support do volunteers receive along the way?
• What are the main ways people can get involved?
• Can you share a story or two that captures the impact of SAFE Families?
• What do families or volunteers often say after being part of this?
• Who tends to be a great fit for this kind of role?
• What hesitations do you hear most, and what would you say to those concerns?
• If one of our listeners is interested in serving this community, what’s the first step to get involved?
• For a parent or caregiver listening today who feels underwater or overwhelmed, what encouragement can you offer?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: We are seriously considering becoming foster parents.  We have 2 children by birth, and I am really worried about how this will affect them and what I can do to prevent some of the negative effects.

Resources:

• The Impact of Fostering and Adoption on Kids Already in the Family (Resource)
• Talking with your Resident Kids about Foster Care or Kinship Care (Resource)
• What You Should Know About Disrupting Birth Order in Adoption & Foster Care

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building