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Question: I’m in the process of adopting an infant and feeling overwhelmed by the paperwork. How do I get my child’s birth certificate and Social Security number after the adoption is finalized? What steps do I need to take, what documents are required, and how does this vary by state?

Resources:

• Where to Write for Vital Records: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Health Statistics
• Social Security Administration

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

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Are you considering residential treatment for your adopted child? We speak with Daniel Hochstetler of Fair Play Camp in South Carolina about preparing our families for residential treatment, navigating the programs, and how to set our families up for success after treatment. 

In this episode, we talk about:

• Pursuing residential treatment is one of the hardest decisions adoptive families can face. Based on your experience, how should we think about residential treatment within the broader picture of supporting our adopted kids? (i.e., exists on the spectrum of resources and interventions)
• Before we get into the details, what do you want adoptive families to hear right away if residential treatment is something they think they may need to consider?
• When we say residential treatment in this conversation, what does that mean?
• How is it different from other supports families may have already tried, like therapy, out-patient programs, or in-home services?
• What kinds of needs is residential treatment for adopted kids designed to meet?
• In your experience, how can residential care be helpful for kids and families who are really struggling?
• What are some misunderstandings that make this option feel more frightening or confusing than it needs to be?
• This is where many parents feel stuck. What are some signs that a family may need to start thinking about a higher level of care?
• Who should be part of making this decision? How can adoptive parents make sure they’re not making it in isolation?
• When a family finds it necessary to move forward to placement in residential care, how can they talk with their child about residential treatment in a way that keeps the relationship intact?
• What reactions should parents expect, and how can they respond in ways that don’t escalate their child’s fear or shame?
• How can families stay connected while their child is in care?
• What helps parents partner well with the treatment team?
• Coming home is an important goal for parents and their kids to work toward. But it’s not a reset button that magically clears the cache. It is, however, another transition. And transitions can be hard on everyone.
• What can you help our listeners understand about the transition home from the child’s perspective?
  • How should we be talking with our kids before leaving the residential program?
  • What are realistic expectations for those first few weeks?
• What supports should already be in place before a child comes home? (work with caseworker from treatment, get recommendations, referrals, etc.)
• What are some simple ways to rebuild a connection without overwhelming the child?
• When old behaviors resurface—and they often do—how should parents respond?
• What does progress actually look like in real life during this phase?
• This experience affects everyone in the home. How can parents support siblings who may have been impacted by what’s happened?
• Parents are often exhausted by this point. What does realistic, doable support look like for caregivers themselves?
• If a parent listening today feels like they’re nearing this decision, what’s one step they can take to feel more grounded and prepared for the experience?

Resources:

• Parenting Children with Challenging Behavior (Resource Page)
• Accessing Residential Treatment Care for Adoptees
• Exploring Medication for Adopted Children
• Does Your Child Need Residential Treatment
• Get Residential Treatment for Your Child

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: The school thinks my foster son may have ADHD, but I know he’s been through a lot of trauma. How do I know what’s driving his behavior and how to advocate for the support he actually needs?

Resources:

• The Grandparents' Guide to Back to School
• How Do Teachers Understand Adoption and What Can Parents Do About It?
• A Parent's Guide to Working with the Schools on Behavior
• Back to School with Foster and Adopted Kids
• Understood.org

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

What if families had support before a crisis led to foster care? In this episode, we talk with Dr. David Anderson, psychologist and founder and executive director of SAFE Families for Children, about a community-based model that helps keep children safe while supporting parents through difficult seasons. Dr. Anderson also serves as Executive Director of Lydia Home Association in Chicago and has been recognized as an Ashoka Fellow and Prime Movers Fellow.

In this episode, we discuss:

• For someone new to SAFE Families, how would you explain what it is?
• Can you share a little about yourself and what drew you to create SAFE Families?
• Who are the families you serve, and what situations bring them to you?
• Why is a program like SAFE Families especially needed right now?
• What happens to families when this kind of support isn’t available?
• How is SAFE Families different from traditional foster care?
• What kinds of training and screening do volunteers undergo?
• What support do volunteers receive along the way?
• What are the main ways people can get involved?
• Can you share a story or two that captures the impact of SAFE Families?
• What do families or volunteers often say after being part of this?
• Who tends to be a great fit for this kind of role?
• What hesitations do you hear most, and what would you say to those concerns?
• If one of our listeners is interested in serving this community, what’s the first step to get involved?
• For a parent or caregiver listening today who feels underwater or overwhelmed, what encouragement can you offer?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: We are seriously considering becoming foster parents.  We have 2 children by birth, and I am really worried about how this will affect them and what I can do to prevent some of the negative effects.

Resources:

• The Impact of Fostering and Adoption on Kids Already in the Family (Resource)
• Talking with your Resident Kids about Foster Care or Kinship Care (Resource)
• What You Should Know About Disrupting Birth Order in Adoption & Foster Care

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Foster families are doing significant work to support both the children in their homes and the parents of those kids. What do they need to thrive in this work? We talk with Cathleen Bearse, a licensed therapist, foster mom, and the creator of Fearless Fostering. She supports foster and adoptive parents with practical tools, emotional guidance, and trauma-informed strategies with her real-life experiences and clinical expertise.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Your organization is called ‘Fearless Fostering’ – what does that mean to you right now in the work that you do with foster families every day?
• What makes fostering profoundly worth it in your life and in your family, even when it’s hard?
• What are some unexpected joys in fostering that people don’t hear about enough?
• When things feel heavy, how do you recommend resource parents reconnect with their ‘why’?
• What are the challenges that catch foster parents off guard the most?
• Where do you see foster parents becoming depleted or overwhelmed?
• What is often misunderstood about the emotional weight of fostering?
• How does isolation show up in foster parenting?
• How can fostering strain a household without the right support?
• What patterns have you seen in marriages or partnerships under stress?
• How does chronic stress show up in foster parents’ mental and physical health?
  • What early warning signs should families not ignore?
• If you could give every foster parent four supports, what would they be?
  • Community
  • Therapeutic Space
  • Permission to Unschedule
• Permission to Focus on “Just You”
• What does realistic self-care actually look like for foster parents?
• Where should foster parents begin if they realize they need more support?
• How can they pursue continuing education without becoming overwhelmed?
• What would you say to someone who wants to foster but fears they aren’t strong enough?
• What is one message you want every foster parent to hear today?
• Finally, what would a strengthened foster family look like five years from now if we truly supported them well?

Resources:

• Self-care for Foster Parents
• What is Respite Care and How Do I Access It?
• What Foster Parents Want You to Know About Fostering

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: I’m new to raising my grandchild and still learning about trauma. People keep saying it changes a child’s brain, but I don’t really understand what that means. What does trauma actually do to the brain, and how does that show up in behavior at home or school?

Resources:

• The Three Es: Understanding the Impacts of Trauma
• A Conversation with Dr. Bruce Perry About Trauma
• How Trauma Impacts a Child's Development
• Meeting Children Where They Are: The Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Have you considered fostering? What might be holding you back? Join us for a conversation with Laura, the Foster Parent Partner, to explore what it takes to be ready to foster, what the licensing and placement process looks like, and how to navigate relationships with the child's birth parents while providing a safe place for the child to land. Laura is the author of First Time Fostering and brings awareness and advocacy for foster families to social media spaces.

In this episode, we talk about:

• How can someone tell if fostering might be the right step for them?
• What are some common misconceptions about foster parenting that you often hear from people who are just starting to explore it?
• What mindset shifts do people often need to make before stepping into foster parenting, especially around trauma and reunification?
• Once someone decides to move forward, what does the licensing process look like?
• What tends to surprise people about that process?
• How should families prepare the people already in their lives—a partner, kids in the home, or extended family—for fostering?
• What kind of support system do new foster parents need?
• How can they start building that before they get their first placement?
• When you're waiting for your first placement, what are some basics you should have ready in their home?
• What is it actually like to get that first placement call and welcome a child into your home?
• In those first hours and days, what are some practical ways foster parents can help a child feel safe and supported?
• It’s important to remember that reunification is the goal of foster care. What does co-parenting mean for foster parents? Why is it a crucial element of fostering?
• In foster care, children often still have relationships with their families, especially when reunification is still the goal. How can foster parents begin building a respectful relationship with a child’s parent?
• How can foster parents help facilitate connection or healing with the child’s parents?
• How do foster parents navigate the reality and emotions of a child leaving their home, for another placement, or for reunification?
• How should they support their resident children for that loss?
• What are some of the other hard realities of foster parenting that people should be prepared for?
• What would you want a newly licensed foster parent to know before they say yes to their first placement?
• What keeps you anchored in this work and committed to supporting others?

Resources:

• Becoming a Foster Parent
• What Foster Care Alumni Want You to Know
• 23 Crucial Questions to Ask at Foster Care Placement Meetings
• Welcoming an Older Child to Your Family

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: How do I delicately share information about my child’s birth parent with my child, when we know their biological parent has a long history of arrest? They are not a safe adult for my child to maintain a relationship with. Our family is struggling with how to balance the message that the adoption plan was made out of love for the child and not wanting to cast a negative message about the child’s birth parent, even though we know there is a history of some very violent acts. We want this child to know and understand why the birth parent is not part of their life.

Resources: 

• Talking with Young Children about Adoption and Birth Parents
• Using Lifebooks to Explain Complex Issues in Adoption to Kids
• Building the Framework for Adopted & Foster Children to Process the Hard Parts of Their Stories

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Join us for this interview with former NFL Running Back and Super Bowl Champion Ricky Watters. He is an adoptee, an adoptive dad, and author of a new children’s book on adoption, A Gift Called Shane.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How old were you when you learned you were adopted and how did you find out?
• When you discovered you were adopted, you mentioned in your NFL movie that it put a big chip on your shoulder. How has that chip served you well as an adoptive dad? 
• How has it been a detriment?
• Why did you decide to adopt?
• Why did you decide to adopt internationally?
• Did your experience with finding out late that you were adopted affect the way you discussed adoption with your son?
• Do you see any signs of a similar “chip” in your son that you had when you found out you were adopted? How do you help him navigate it for his own success?
• How did you prepare your biological son for the adoption of his brother? 
• How do you support your adopted son in his questions about identity, birth family, etc.?
• Are you in reunion with your biological family?
• How has your adoptive family handled your reunion with your birth family?
• How excited were you for fellow hometown boy Shady McCoy to get into the Eagles Hall of Fame?
• What was your experience with playing at Notre Dame? 

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!

Question: I’m an intern therapist working with kids involved in DHS and the foster system. Could you guys talk about what a kid in the system needs from therapy? Or like what helped them, what didn’t, what they needed in that space that their therapist didn’t provide?

Resources:

• Trauma-Informed Therapy: Finding the Right Fit for Your Family
• Therapists: Parents Should Be With Their Kids for Adoptive or Foster Therapy Sessions
• Finding an Adoption Competent Therapist

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building