Rated R
Opens: January 10, 2025
Kevin says DEN OF THIEVES 2: PANTERA SUCKS!

It’s January, and that means it’s time for terrible action movies and substandard sequels. This week, we get both with DEN OF THIEVES 2: PANTERA.

This sequel to the modest 2018 hit sees Gerard Butler as a corrupt cop reconnecting with a previous partner in crime. This time, they’re working with one of the slickest gangs in Europe… the Pantera.

I know the original DEN OF THIEVES has its fans, but I am not one of them. These films suffer from wholly unlikeable characters. I mean, if you can’t make likeable characters, at least make interesting ones. This movie does neither.

Still, if you want more of what the first film gave you, this does deliver. But dragging the gang back together seven years later feels desperate and gives us some of the chubbiest action stars since Steven Seagal in the late 90s.

The heist is needlessly convoluted. The cinematography is dark and murky. And at least half the scenes feature people dressed in black moving through dark halls to avoid other people dressed in black. And the two-and-a-half hour running time makes it even worse.

DEN OF THIEVES 2: PANTERA gets zero diamonds out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated R
Opens: January 3, 2025
Kevin says THE DAMNED kinda sucks!

On a weekend certain to be dominated by holiday leftovers, a independent thriller slid its way into wide release.

THE DAMNED follows a group of fishermen suffering through a harsh winter on a remote Nordic beach. On the brink of starvation, they neglect to help a vessel sinking nearby for fear that it will hurt themselves. The aftermath yields weeks of terror, paranoia, guilt and revenge that threatens to destroy them all.

The bleak imagery and the surrounding fjords offer a powerful backdrop of being trapped, and the cast of international actors hold their own with limited story material.

However, the monochromatic desolation and long nights in the story make it a struggle to focus throughout. Plus, it’s a real slow-burn that makes NOSFERATU look like a Fast & Furious movie.

I respect the effort, and it’s a well-made film. However, it’s weighted down with predictability and too much foreshadowed dread. I mean, it’s in the title, for crying out loud.

Not particularly mainstream, let’s not forget its roots. Still, THE DAMNED gets two snowy fjords out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated R
Opens: December 25, 2024
Kevin says NOSFERATU kinda rocks!

Dracula has risen from his coffin again, this time as Count Orlok in NOSFERATU.

The original NOSFERATU was made in Germany without permission of the Bram Stoker estate, but it remains one of the most iconic versions of Dracula. Using different names and locations, the 1922 film lives on, this time with Robert Eggers (director of THE VVITCH and THE LIGHTHOUSE) in charge.

The film follows Stoker’s book closely, featuring a vampire traveling across Europe to bring death to a German city. Eggers borrows some plague imagery and story notes from Werner Herzog’s 1979 adaptation, and he loads the film with dark surrealism.

Lily-Rose Depp is the focus of the film as the target of the Count’s desires. She has improved her acting considerably and gives it her all in the emotional performance, though the writing still remains frustratingly one dimensional.

As an atmospheric take on the Dracula legend, it works. Though at times I wonder if Eggers’ talents aren’t the best with smaller budgets.

NOSFERATU gets three vampire shadows out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated PG
Opens: December 20, 2024
Kevin says SONIC 3 kinda rocks!

The third installment of SONIC THE HEDGEHOG bolts onto the big screen this week.

SONIC 3 sees a new threat with another super-power-infused alien hedgehog named Shadow, bent on revenge. In an act of desperation, Sonic and his team bring back a worthy adversary to help. But it could backfire.

I may never have played the game or watched the original cartoon, but I certainly understand the appeal here. Like its predecessors, this third installment delivers a sugar-coated Saturday morning cartoon level of energy, and that reached my inner child.

With a cast of CGI characters, the movie is full of brightly-colored digital effects. Plus, pulling Jim Carrey out of retirement allows Sonic, Knuckles and Tails to be less cartoony by comparison.

Sure, the script chases a dozen clichés, juggles MacGuffins, and is loaded with corny dialogue, but that’s what people want from a movie like this.

Kids will love this. Adults who played or watched SONIC as kids will love this. And if you’re older than that, just give into the chaos.

SONIC 3 gets three and a half chili dogs out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated PG-13
Opens: December 13, 2024
Kevin says THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE WAR OF THE ROHIRRIM kinda rocks!

THE LORD OF THE RINGS returns to theaters, this time in animated form.

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE WAR OF THE ROHIRRIM mines Tolkien’s appendices for the history of Helm’s Deep, the site of a major battle in THE TWO TOWERS. We go back in Middle Earth’s history when a conflict between two houses sends one on the run. Childhood friends on either side must try to reconcile their differences to save their families.

The choice of traditional 2D animation, led by famous anime director Kenji Kamiyama, brings The Lord of the Rings full circle with Ralph Bakshi’s 1978 theatrical film and THE HOBBIT TV movie. It’s an entirely appropriate medium that allows the film to embody its own universe without relying on special effects gimmickry.

The voice cast is strong, and the action in animated form is impressive. However we have seen a lot of this before, and the complex background may be lost on anyone but die-hard Tolkien fans.
I appreciate the franchise’s return to big-screen spectacle, and the animation plays well in that scope.

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE WAR OF THE ROHIRRIM gets three and a half swords out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated R
Opens: December 6, 2024
Kevin says Y2K kinda sucks!

Every generation has it all-night teen movie – from AMERICAN GRAFITTI and SIXTEEN CANDLES to CAN’T HARDLY WAIT and SUPERBAD. Now Millennial nostalgics are getting their chance with Y2K.

The story follows a high school misfit in 1999 attending a New Year’s Eve party where he hopes to finally kiss the girl of his dreams. However, when the Y2K bug executes at midnight and the machines start a violent revolt, the partying teens have to try and survive.

I’m all for the genre mix-up we get in this film, however, the movie fails to commit to either one.

The all-night party film half of the script just strings together a series of clichés. At least the sci-fi thriller element tries to be unique. However, aside from aping the goofy opening sequence of Stephen King’s coke-fueled fever dream MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, the story ends up stumbling into that film’s own incoherence.

Even if you’re weepingly nostalgic for 90s music, AOL, and a quote-unquote “simpler” time before social media, the lack of story depth and likeable characters found me rooting for the killer robots.

Y2K gets two dial-up modems out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated PG
Opens: November 27, 2024
Kevin says Moana 2 ROCKS!

In a year of hit or miss sequels, Disney animation delivers another strong installment.

It’s been eight years since we met the Polynesian heroine Moana as she teamed up with the demigod Maui to bring peace to her people. This time around, she’s more in touch with her powers, but has a new challenge of reuniting lost tribes under the curse of an ancient god.

All of the elements that made the first MOANA shine are here. The voice cast, including Dwayne Johnson as Maui, brings the characters wonderfully to life. The animation is beyond impressive, presenting the beauty of tropical waters and islands. And there are some catchy tunes, though not as many bangers as in the first film.

This is a rare sequel that doesn’t feel like a retread, enriching the characters and offering them an exciting adventure filled with magic and monsters.

The emotional center still grounds this film, and the comic relief with the pig, the chicken, and Maui’s ego are well placed.

MOANA 2 gets four ocean waves out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated PG
Opens: November 22, 2024
Kevin says Wicked kinda rocks!

A Broadway favorite has finally made its way over the rainbow and onto the silver screen.

Based on the Tony Award-winning musical, WICKED takes an alternative look at the villain from THE WIZARD OF OZ and her friendship with Glinda the Good in school.

The tragic villain backstory has been done many times before – from Maleficent and Cruella Da Vil to Darth Vader and Magneto. Both Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo do fine jobs making the parts their own. We knew they could sing, but their acting really brings the movie to life.

Along with eye-popping production design and a handful of fantastic songs (as well as too much padded exposition in middling show tunes), this is everything the Broadway fan wants.

The Achilles’ heel is the punishing 2 hour 41 minute running time… and that’s only half of the story. WICKED: PART 2 comes out this time next year.

The first two hours drag with needlessly bloated subplots that never resolve, and unfortunately that makes for a mixed bag.

WICKED gets three broomsticks out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated PG-13
Opens: November 15, 2024
Kevin says Red One kinda sucks!

With Christmas movies in full swing this year, it’s time for one about Santa on steroids.

RED ONE takes us to the North Pole where Santa Claus is kidnapped by an evil witch bent on punishing the naughty. It’s up to Santa’s bodyguard and a notorious criminal to save him and the holiday itself.

I get what they were thinking when they made this, which was to deliver a FAST & FURIOUS version of Christmas. But they’ve stripped out all the holiday cheer and replaced it with performative masculinity and enough testosterone to kill a bull elephant.

Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans phone in their parts, cashing in on their blockbuster career highlights. And the script is loaded with Yuletide movie clichés – from the redemption of a deadbeat dad to the hyper-techno upgrades to Santa’s workshop – but none of it is presented in any coherent form.

There are a few decent moments – I’m looking at you, Krampus – but for a movie so focused on Christmas… there’s not much Christmas spirit in it.

RED ONE gets two roided-out candy canes out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated PG
Opens: November 8, 2024
Kevin says The Best Christmas Pageant Ever kinda rocks!

Move over, turkeys. We’re comin’ in hot with the Christmas movies.

First up is THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER, an adaptation of the beloved children’s book. The story follows a family of problematic children who take over a church’s annual Christmas pageant. And while everyone thinks it will be a disaster, things take a surprising turn.

The people making this film certainly have their hearts in the right place, putting together a charming and light-hearted movie that delivers some appropriate messaging.

The film tries to evoke the kids-eye-view that we see so wonderfully in A CHRISTMAS STORY, though when the adults turn a blind eye to the shenanigans, they just come across as horrible parents and leaders. This, along with some archaic stereotypes, rings sour at times.

The movie doesn’t hold the same punch as some of the classics like A CHRISTMAS STORY, but it’s still a sweet film with a committed cast.

I’m not sure if it will be a perennial favorite, but it makes for a nice slice of entertainment for the family audience.

THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER gets three snowballs out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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Rated PG-13
Opens: November 1, 2024
Kevin says Here kinda sucks!

Tom Hanks and Robin Wright reunite with director Robert Zemeckis for a new film.

HERE tells the story of a home, starting from wilderness in prehistoric times to the life of (mostly) one family. Hanks and Wright play a couple we see go from high school to retirement and the struggles they face over the years.

Zemeckis is a talented director, but he often gets distracted by gimmick filmmaking. And make no mistake, HERE’s one camera set-up perspective is the ultimate gimmick. It’s got some interesting moments, but it is loaded with challenges.

HERE tries to show a mosaic of American families, but struggles to avoid idealizing even the toughest times. And with the fly-on-the-wall perspective, too many moments feel like the stilted opening scene of a stage play. Only the acting of Hanks and Wright carry us beyond that.

As real as the human experiences are in this film, this reality reveals too many insufferable characters I couldn’t care less about.

Technically impressive but dull from the story perspective, HERE gets two bay windows out of five. I’m Kevin Carr, and that’s the way I see it.

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