The Art of Charm
The Art of Charm
- 8 minutes 13 secondsThe Psychology of Reaching Out — and the Easiest Win You’re Not Taking | Social Intelligence Briefing
AJ and Johnny break down why reconnecting with old friends feels harder than it should — and why the hesitation isn’t rejection, it’s symmetry. Both people usually care. Both people assume the other doesn’t. And nothing happens.
Drawing on behavioral research and social psychology, this episode explains how dormant friendships get miscategorized by the brain as “risky,” why we overestimate awkwardness and underestimate meaning, and how one simple move cuts through years of silence instantly.
You’ll learn why old friendships are more valuable than new ones, how shared memory bypasses social friction, and the exact message that reliably reopens connection — without apology, explanation, or pressure.
Chapters:
00:00 – Why reconnecting feels awkward
00:45 – The silent standoff: both people waiting
01:30 – Why old friends start feeling like strangers
02:15 – The hidden value of dormant friendships
03:00 – Why memory beats words
03:40 – The photo message that reopens connection
04:30 – Friendship durability vs. fragility
05:10 – What social intelligence really isStop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
Check out Johnny on Instagram @Social_Intell or on Tiktok @social_intel
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
Download Stuff for free today by going to trystuff.app or by searching for “Stuff” in the App Store. You can get 50% off your first year of Extra Stuff by using code CHARM at checkout.
Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for HALF OFF your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
friendship, reconnection, social intelligence, human connection, relationships, belonging, shared memory, trust, dormant friendships, loneliness, reaching out, emotional closeness, meaningful relationships, personal growth, connection skills
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
30 January 2026, 9:00 am - 55 minutes 19 secondsThe Myth of Self-Made Success | Daniel Coyle
AJ and Johnny sit down with Daniel Coyle, bestselling author and culture researcher, to explore what it actually means to flourish — and why flourishing is never a solo pursuit. Drawing from his research into thriving communities around the world, Daniel explains why growth, meaning, and fulfillment emerge from connection, friction, and shared purpose rather than individual achievement.
They unpack how modern life fragments attention, why efficiency and isolation undermine belonging, and how small, human-scale practices — from rituals to shared meals to “yellow door” moments — can reawaken connection. This conversation reframes success away from optimization and toward aliveness, showing how community, presence, and intentional messiness create lives and workplaces that truly thrive.
Chapters:
00:00 – Why flourishing is mutual, not individual
05:00 – The problem with modern efficiency and isolation
10:00 – Task attention vs. relational attention
15:00 – Friction, annoyance, and the price of community
20:00 – Rituals, stillness, and grounding practices
25:00 – Why collision creates creativity and growth
30:00 – Building communities that flourish at work
35:00 – Designing productive mess instead of control
40:00 – Yellow doors, fear, and unexpected connection
45:00 – Creating community instead of waiting for itA Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
If you’ve put off organizing your finances, Monarch is for you. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Episode resources:
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
flourishing, human connection, community, belonging, meaning, fulfillment, thriving, shared purpose, modern life, isolation, presence, attention, rituals, shared experience, relationships, creativity, growth, aliveness, togetherness, intentional living, community building
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
26 January 2026, 8:01 am - 13 minutes 44 secondsHidden Logic of High-Status Networks Infiltration | Social Intelligence Briefing
Episode Description:
AJ and Johnny reveal two tactical moves from their infiltration method — the same framework they’ve used to train special forces, federal agents, and high performers — that explain how real access works inside elite networks.You’ll learn why gatekeepers aren’t blocking you, they’re filtering for alignment — and how to respond when someone says, “They’re too busy right now.” They also break down the psychology behind silence — the quiet moment after your pitch or point — and why most people destroy their credibility by filling it.
This episode shows you how high-value rooms actually operate, what gatekeepers are signaling, and how to move with confidence through tension, power, and hierarchy without chasing approval or forcing entry.
Chapters:
00:00 – Why credentials stop working at the top
01:30 – How elite networks actually filter for access
03:00 – The gatekeeper moment: “They’re too busy right now”
05:00 – The one question that flips power dynamics
06:30 – The silence trap: what decision-makers are really doing
08:00 – How to hold tension and signal alignment
09:30 – The infiltration mindset: how access really worksA Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
Check out Johnny on Instagram @Social_Intell or on Tiktok @social_intel
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
Download Stuff for free today by going to trystuff.app or by searching for “Stuff” in the App Store. You can get 50% off your first year of Extra Stuff by using code CHARM at checkout.
Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for HALF OFF your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
networking, communication, leadership, influence, access, gatekeepers, power dynamics, social intelligence, charisma, status, The Art of Charm, persuasion
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
23 January 2026, 8:01 am - 1 hour 10 minutesModern Dating Is Broken | Paul Eastwick
AJ and Johnny sit down with Paul Eastwick, relationship scientist and author of Bonded by Evolution, to unpack what modern dating has gotten wrong — and what the science actually says about love, attraction, and connection.
They explore how online dating has distorted our view of desirability, why the search for “the perfect person” makes us miserable, and how real connection comes from shared time, not algorithms. Paul breaks down how our brains evolved for small-group bonding — not endless swiping — and reveals the truth about compatibility, attachment, and the misunderstood “friend zone.”
From evolutionary psychology to modern dating anxiety, this conversation is a masterclass in how to build real relationships in a world built on comparison.
Chapters:
00:00 – Why love advice is so confusing
05:00 – How online dating rewired attraction
10:00 – The confidence gap and lost social skills
15:00 – The danger of treating dating like a marketplace
20:00 – Algorithms, ego, and authenticity in the AI era
30:00 – How relationships actually form and last 35:00 – Compatibility is built, not found 40:00 – Why men should stop fearing the friend zone
45:00 – Redefining masculinity and modern loveA Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
If you’ve put off organizing your finances, Monarch is for you. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Episode resources:
Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok meetings, collaboration, leadership, communication, productivity, visibility, AI at work, remote work, workplace culture, career growth, The Art of Charm AI, automation, purpose, identity, future of work, Zack Kass, The Next Renaissance, technology, leadership, creativity, meaning, human connection, emotional intelligence, optimism, The Art of Charm
Paul Eastwick, dating, relationships, love, attraction, compatibility, attachment theory, online dating, Tinder, Bumble, match, masculinity, connection, psychology, The Art of Charm, AJ Harbinger, Johnny DzubakLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
19 January 2026, 8:01 am - 10 minutes 33 secondsWhy High Social Skills Win in the Age of AI | Social Intelligence Briefing
AJ and Johnny break down the real competitive edge in the age of AI — emotional regulation and social intelligence.
As automation levels the playing field for output, human connection has become the new performance multiplier. This episode unpacks why the smartest person in the room isn’t always the most successful, and how tension management, emotional safety, and neural synchrony have replaced raw intelligence as the markers of influence.
You’ll learn how to turn moments of silence, pushback, or disagreement into trust and authority — and why your ability to regulate emotion, not your technical skill, now drives your career, your relationships, and your reputation.
Chapters:
00:00 – When AI disappears: where human skill still matters
02:00 – The data: social skills now outperform analytical skills
05:00 – Intelligence is common — judgment is rare
08:00 – How safety and emotional regulation drive influence
12:00 – The neuroscience of trust and neural synchrony
16:00 – Why technical skill without presence stalls your career
20:00 – The tension gap: learning to stay calm under pressure
24:00 – How to turn pushback into authority
28:00 – From output to interaction: the new advantage
32:00 – How to become the person people trust under uncertainty
A Word From Our SponsorsStop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
Check out Johnny on Instagram @Social_Intell or on Tiktok @social_intel
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
Download Stuff for free today by going to trystuff.app or by searching for “Stuff” in the App Store. You can get 50% off your first year of Extra Stuff by using code CHARM at checkout.
Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for HALF OFF your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
AI, social intelligence, emotional regulation, leadership, communication, trust, influence, charisma, connection, X Factor, psychology, neuroscience, The Art of Charm
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
16 January 2026, 5:01 am - 1 hour 2 minutesIs AI Coming For Your Job? | Zack Kass
AJ and Johnny sit down with Zack Kass, AI futurist and author of The Next Renaissance: AI and the Expansion of Human Potential, to explore how artificial intelligence will reshape identity, purpose, and meaning.
Zack breaks down why our fear of AI isn’t really about machines; it’s about identity displacement. They dive deep into how creativity, purpose, and work evolve when technology becomes capable of doing almost everything. From artists confronting AI-generated art to professionals watching automation change their industries, Zack explains why humanity’s next great challenge isn’t survival, it’s spiritual.
This episode unpacks how to navigate the coming era with optimism, connection, and mastery — and why the most valuable skill of the future is still deeply, unapologetically human.
Chapters:
00:00 – Facing the fear: AI, art, and identity
06:00 – The loss of purpose in the age of automation
10:00 – Infinite creativity and the watercooler effect
15:00 – Why community and shared experience still matter
20:00 – The automation boundary: where do we stop?
25:00 – Political protection, purpose, and work that stays human
30:00 – AI, inequality, and the distribution problem
35:00 – The real reason cost of living is broken
40:00 – Connection vs. artificial intimacy
50:00 – How to stay human: learn, lead, and live with optimismA Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
If you’ve put off organizing your finances, Monarch is for you. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Episode resources:
The Next Renaissance: AI and the Expansion of Human Potential
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok meetings, collaboration, leadership, communication, productivity, visibility, AI at work, remote work, workplace culture, career growth, The Art of Charm
AI, automation, purpose, identity, future of work, Zack Kass, The Next Renaissance, technology, leadership, creativity, meaning, human connection, emotional intelligence, optimism, The Art of CharmLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
12 January 2026, 8:01 am - 9 minutes 38 secondsAI Can’t Save You in the Conference Room (Or on a Date) | Social Intelligence Briefing
AJ and Johnny reveal the single most important human skill to master in 2026 — and why it’s the one AI will never replace: validation.
As automation takes over the transactional side of work, the moments that matter most — the hallway conversation, the tense meeting, the post-date silence — depend on your ability to make people feel understood. This episode breaks down why being right often backfires, how “fixing” kills influence and attraction, and why validation is the real unlock for leadership, connection, and persuasion in the AI era.
They share real-world examples from clients in tech, dating, and leadership, showing how one small shift in sequencing — acknowledging before advising — transforms every interaction.
Chapters:
00:00 – Why your biggest moments now matter more than ever
03:00 – AI can’t replace the human layer of influence
05:00 – People move toward those who make them feel understood
07:00 – Why being right makes things worse
09:00 – How “fixing” kills attraction and trust
11:00 – The validation sequence: acknowledge before advise
13:00 – Real examples from work, dating, and daily life
16:00 – The neuroscience of feeling safe and seen
18:00 – Validation: the leadership skill AI can’t automate
20:00 – The 3-step validation protocolAI, emotional intelligence, validation, leadership, communication, influence, connection, charisma, psychology, empathy, attraction
A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
Check out Johnny on Instagram @Social_Intell or on Tiktok @social_intel
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
Download Stuff for free today by going to trystuff.app or by searching for “Stuff” in the App Store. You can get 50% off your first year of Extra Stuff by using code CHARM at checkout.
Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for HALF OFF your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
AI, emotional intelligence, validation, leadership, communication, influence, connection, charisma, psychology, empathy, attraction
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
9 January 2026, 8:01 am - 57 minutes 28 secondsThe Art of Charm Best Of 2025
AJ and Johnny close out the year with The Best of 2025 — sixty minutes of the most replayed, talked-about moments that defined the year on The Art of Charm.
Five powerful themes — no fluff, just the tools that changed how thousands of listeners connect and communicate. From making people feel seen and breaking past small talk to influencing without pressure, sounding charismatic, and asking the one deep question that upgrades every relationship.
Featuring highlights from Caroline Fleck, Adam Dorsay, Dr. Abby Mareno, Jay Heinrichs, Michael Hopner, and Charles Duhigg, this episode is a masterclass in emotional intelligence, persuasion, and connection.
Start your year ahead by revisiting the moments that helped you lead better, listen deeper, and show up as your most magnetic self.
Chapters:
00:00 – The best of 2025: five themes that changed everything
03:00 – How to make people feel seen (with Caroline Fleck)
08:00 – From small talk to real talk (with Adam Dorsay)
14:00 – Influence without pressure (with Dr. Abbie Maroño)
20:00 – The emotional power of words (with Jay Heinrichs)
26:00 – How to sound like you think you sound (with Michael Hoeppner)
32:00 – The one daily question that upgrades every conversation (with Charles Duhigg)
38:00 – How to regulate, connect, and lead under pressure
45:00 – Lessons from the X-Factor community
50:00 – AJ and Johnny’s 2025 reflections and what’s nextCheck in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
communication, charisma, influence, persuasion, connection, confidence, social intelligence, leadership, emotional intelligence
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
5 January 2026, 5:01 am - 1 hour 2 minutesInvisible Workers Get Cut First | Rebecca Hinds
AJ and Johnny sit down with Rebecca Hinds, author of Your Best Meeting Ever, to uncover why meetings aren’t broken — they’re just poorly designed. Rebecca shares how better meeting design can accelerate your career, increase visibility, and help you stand out as a leader in the AI era.
They dive into how collaboration has quietly become a visibility trap, how to gain recognition without more airtime, and why treating meetings like a product can transform your influence, culture, and career. From managing “meeting suck reflex” to using AI responsibly, this episode offers a playbook for making every meeting meaningful — and finally reclaiming your time.
Chapters:
00:00 – Why meetings feel broken (and why they’re not)
05:00 – Collaboration overload and the visibility trap
10:00 – Presence ≠ productivity: the illusion of busyness
15:00 – How AI is reshaping collaboration and meaning at work
20:00 – Designing your best meeting ever: rhythm, purpose, and focus
25:00 – Declining pointless meetings without fallout
30:00 – Using AI to build better meetings, not replace them 35:00 – The four D test: when a meeting actually deserves to exist
40:00 – The visibility tax and remote work trade-offs
45:00 – Building career leverage through better meeting designA Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
If you’ve put off organizing your finances, Monarch is for you. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Episode resources:
Your Best Meeting Ever: 7 Principles for Designing Meetings That Get Things Done
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
meetings, collaboration, leadership, communication, productivity, visibility, AI at work, remote work, workplace culture, career growth, The Art of CharmLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
29 December 2025, 5:01 am - 44 minutes 43 secondsWhy Trying is Ruining You | Carla Ondrasik
AJ and Johnny sit down with Carla Ondrasik, author of Stop Trying, to unpack why the word try is secretly holding you back from real change. Carla shares how “trying” tricks your brain into feeling productive while keeping you stuck — and why doing, not trying, is the antidote to procrastination, perfectionism, and fear.
They explore how language shapes behavior, why “I’ll try” destroys trust and momentum, and how replacing it with decisive action transforms confidence, relationships, and follow-through. You’ll learn how to silence your inner critic, embrace failure, and finally move from thinking about it to living it.
Chapters:
00:00 – Why “try” is the most dangerous word you use
04:00 – How “trying” fools your brain into false progress
08:00 – The psychology of fear, failure, and perfectionism
12:00 – How “try” damages trust and relationships
16:00 – Replacing “try” with honest language and action
20:00 – How to stop waiting for motivation and start doing
24:00 – The Try Test: how your brain reacts to indecision
28:00 – The power of “no” and protecting your willpower
32:00 – The science of action and accountability
36:00 – Rewiring your brain from “try” to “do”A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
If you’ve put off organizing your finances, Monarch is for you. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at makeheadway.com/CHARM and use my code CHARM for 25% off.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
Episode resources:
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on LinkedIn
Johnny on LinkedIn
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
motivation, procrastination, confidence, mindset, fear, accountability, personal growth, communication, self-sabotage, language, psychology, Stop TryingLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
22 December 2025, 5:01 am - 12 minutes 45 secondsWhy Smart Ideas Stall — And What’s Really Happening | SIB
AJ and Johnny unpack why great ideas often get rejected — even when the logic and data are flawless. The truth? You didn’t lose the argument; you triggered someone’s identity.
In this episode, they reveal how ideas meet identity before logic, introducing two of the eight core competency identities that run every workplace: The Solver and The Protector. You’ll learn how to read these identity patterns in meetings, frame your ideas for alignment instead of resistance, and move conversations forward without conflict.
By the end, you’ll know why competence alone stops working — and how to communicate in a way that gets real traction.
Chapters:
00:00 – Why smart ideas get rejected
02:00 – Logic vs. identity: what really blocks movement
04:00 – The Solver: how they find value through complexity
06:00 – The Protector: how they find value through stability
08:00 – Solvers vs. Protectors: conflict or coherence?
10:00 – How to spot identity signals in meetings
12:00 – Framing ideas to align instead of threaten
14:00 – How to use identity recognition as influence
16:00 – The cheat code for managing resistance
18:00 – The eight workplace identities revealedA Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at unlockyourxfactor.com
Check out Johnny on Instagram @Social_Intell or on Tiktok @social_intel
The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the artofcharm.com/intel for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
Download Stuff for free today by going to trystuff.app or by searching for “Stuff” in the App Store. You can get 50% off your first year of Extra Stuff by using code CHARM at checkout.
Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for HALF OFF your first year.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM TODAY to get started
Curious about your influence level?
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18 December 2025, 5:01 am - More Episodes? Get the App