Clarity Eliminates Confusion

Have you noticed we live in an age when what you hear and see is not necessarily happening? 

It seems our shorter attention spans and social media have elevated attention-grabbing to the point where it overtakes the clarity of the message.

One of my mentors is Donald Miller, the creator of Story Brand. He says, “If you make somebody burn too many calories to understand you, they will never understand you, and they’ll move on to an easier choice.”

Another one of my mentors is my son, Austin. He’s an intelligent young man these days, but I remember when he was five years old and taught me a lesson about clarity - when Disney released a new movie.

Like most kids, Austin was excited and wouldn’t stop talking about it. One day, I asked, in a very adult way, “Okay, where are we going to see this movie?” He answered, “At a theater near you!”

Yes. His answer was correct for a five-year-old without worrying about which theater had the film. After all, that’s Dad’s job.

When your answer to questions creates more questions, everybody gets confused.

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Painting Your Way to Success

My wife and I are settling into our home, and she has assigned herself to paint every inch of the house. Not because we couldn’t hire somebody to do the job. Strangely, it’s because she loves to paint. 

I’ll admit that I’ve felt a little guilty leaving her with a rolling brush and a couple of gallons while I find something more interesting to do - which is pretty much anything. Still, I offered to join the painting party and speed up progress in the largest and most challenging room; she accepted my offer, and off we went.

If I haven’t made it clear, I don’t love painting. The only thing more painful for me is listening to a boring conversation I’ve heard a thousand times before. Still, brush in hand, I began my journey that day while sharing my philosophy with my wife. 

She gets that for locking herself in a room with me and a paintbrush.

While it played out over a couple of hours, here’s what I said —

I’m okay with painting. I am. I see every situation in life, like painting a vast and complex room. You know, a room with lots of windows, corners, and trim. One that requires physical contortions to reach every inch you would never do in real life. If you want to get the job done - heck, if you’re going to get anything done - you keep painting.

Keep painting. Keep painting. Keep painting.

If you keep painting, you’ll eventually be finished and get what you want. If you stop, not only will your room be a mess, but you won’t get what you want.

So, whatever you paint in your life, keep rolling until it’s done. No grind. No hustle and no glamour or drama. Just painting. 

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Relative Time Management

In my entire life, I've always found it interesting that there never seems to be enough time in the day. Still, most days, everything seems to get done. If it doesn't, the world didn't come to an end, and I survived to check off another item from my to-do list tomorrow.

I know I'm not the first human on the planet to face the problem of time, but I do think I'm one of those smartypants people that have figured out how our time works in real life. And it was 180 degrees from what I felt that time was all about.

Pay attention now. How you look at time is about to change.

First, when you run as fast as possible to get things done, time moves quicker, and less gets done. Even worse, with every minute filled, there is never enough time to do the things that make your heart sing. If you're like me, that will eventually lead you to sabotage your list so you can do something fun for yourself. It's a never-ending cycle.

On the other hand, when you slow down, hold space for yourself, and focus on results relevant to your goals, time slows down, and you get more done. Not only that, you magically find yourself with lots of free time that you need to fill. Finally, a chance to read a book, binge on Netflix, or hang out with family and friends. The choice is yours.

Of course, if you've ever studied Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity, this sounds familiar. As he determined—time is relative. In other words, the rate at which time passes depends on your frame of reference. 

So, what is your frame of reference?

In our case, I'm not asking whether you are moving fast or slow; I want to know if you are focused on the essential things in life that matter to you? Everything else disappears when you do, times slow down, and you enjoy your day like you were born to do.

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Leaders Look For Conflict

I admit that the title, 'Leaders Look for Conflict,' might be a bit over-the-top. But, I know that you want to be a better leader. I also know that you hate and don't want anything to do with conflict - especially since I can hear you saying —

"Why can't we all get along?"

I get it. Saying the word "No" is hard enough. Saying "Yes" when others agree or disagree with your choice can be more difficult.

"Why can't we all get along?"

The answer is that we can. However, the truth is that conflict will always happen whenever more than two people get together. Especially when there is a common goal and everyone is on the same page. Conflict will always play a role in your success.

What?

We're on the same page, agree with each other, and want the same result, but there's still conflict.

"Why can't we all get along?"

It's not that. It's just that no matter how positive your project is, everybody has a different idea of how to reach the outcome. Everybody has a different right way and wrong way.

As a leader, things change when you approach conflict as a simple “Y” on the road to progress. It becomes a decision that is part of the process and leads to the outcome everybody desires.

Leaders, managers, moms and dads - anyone responsible for moving forward eventually learns to accept conflict.

Leaders don't get emotionally fired up, yell and scream, or freak out in some other creative way. Conflict is another step in the process.

The faster you accept conflict, the sooner you can resolve the obstacle and reach your goal. Everybody will respect and appreciate you. They will also remember you for helping all involved achieve success.

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Stoic Happiness

I'm a fan of Stoic Philosophy. While it may be over 2,000 years old, its practicality is still useful.

These rules to live by will help you have a happier life:

1. If you're going to learn and succeed, be humble. There is always someone smarter, more successful, and wiser.  

2. Find the right scene. Choose your friends and situations. If you want to rise in life, you can't allow yourself to be held down by others.

3. Protect your time. Seneca said, "We're tight-fisted with property and money, yet think too little of wasting time, the one thing about which we should all be the toughest misers." Life is short.

4. Never do anything out of habit. Always think about how you can do things better and always question yourself. 

5. Keep it simple — do your job. Approach every task as if it were your last because it very well could be. 

6. Adapt and learn from failure. Using your success to justify complacency is common. It's also easy, which is why most people do it. You can do more and be better.

7. Live below your means. The more you need to work to maintain your needs, the less you will enjoy what you have.

Everything in life comes down to keeping things simple and mastering the basics. That's how you get the success you deserve.

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Decision-Making Accelerator

No matter what you desire in your life, everything starts as a thought in your mind. It will demand your attention.

You have three options:

1) Deny it and keep moving.

2) Accept it and put it into action.

3) Delay it and drive yourself crazy.

Deny it. Deal with it. Delay it. The quality of your life will be a result of your choice.

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Questions To Ponder

Focus is important as you move forward.  Answering these questions will help:

1) What do you want to do?

2) What do you want to have?

3) Where do you want to go?

4) What contribution do you want to make?

5) What do you want to become?

6) What do you want to learn?

7) Who do you want to spend my time with?

8) How much money do you want to earn, save, invest?

9) How much time do you want off?

10) What will you do to create optimum health?

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Always a Way

When life gets in the way, do you get frustrated about being blocked?  

I used to be that way. Something changed.

I learned a long time ago that getting blocked was going to be an everyday occurrence. And, the bigger my goals, the more blocks would arrive. I could live with endless frustrations - or find a better way. It came down to this:

1) Blocks have nothing to do with who I am. They could be self-inflicted or caused by others, but they still have nothing to do with me as a person. 

2) If you want something, there is always a way to get it.  Always… always… always. You may not like the path. Your ego may get in the way. It may scare you. There is always a way.

The next time frustration gets in your way, blow it off and keep moving. There is always a way to get what you want. Find it.

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Get What You Want

I just got off the phone with a client. We were chatting about getting moving. She said, “That’s the hardest part! I need help getting off my butt.”

She’s not alone. 

Getting what you want comes down to pure physics:

1) An object at rest stays at rest, and an object in motion stays at the same speed and direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.

2) Inertia must overcome your resting state or your current path.  That will require a -

3) Catalyst is what gets you moving - otherwise known as motivation. What will get you moving today?

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More Opportunity

Do you sometimes feel stuck and overwhelmed? Feeling as if there is nothing you can do?

It happens to everybody. You are not alone. However, people who break free understand three things:

1) Everything in life is temporary. Good or bad, nothing lasts forever.

2) No matter how stuck you feel, there is always more opportunity. More than one person could ever take advantage of in a lifetime.

3) Even though you don’t feel it, successful people start shaking trees until the fruit falls. There is always fruit. It will always fall.

You’ll never feel stuck again as long as you know the world has more of whoever you want, just waiting for you to go for it.

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3 Steps to Stay Motivated

I wondered why I couldn't always have my way as a child. Mom and Dad were so mean! I couldn't wait to grow up, move out, and experience being an adult. Everything would be different - or so I thought.

After stepping into the adult world, it didn't take long to realize that not much had changed. It turns out it wasn't my parents. It was a life that was turning down my requests. Life was getting in the way, and what was even worse was that I was getting in my way.

I've joked over the years that if I'm the Boss of me, why don't I do what I say? Eventually, I realized having a big ass goal, being on a mission, and, most importantly, motivation on demand was the solution.

Motivation is a powerful, if not fleeting, tool we all need. But we need to understand how our minds generate motivation:

1) Your physiology dictates your feelings. Movement wakes your body, guides your emotions, and makes anything possible. The easiest way to break free of a slump is to stand up, take a step, and REPEAT.

2) Focus fuels your fire. If you are unmotivated, you are drifting in the wind without direction. Shifting your thoughts in a positive direction and toward what excites you will break you out and get you moving.

3) The words you say create the emotions you feel. Negative self-talk will drag you and everybody else down. Everything changes when you make the words you say to yourself, internally and externally, positive and uplifting. Words matter more than you think.

You're human. Your brain isn't wired to stay always motivated unless you are willing to give it a helping hand.

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