"I'm a catastrophiser," admits Grant Robertson, New Zealand's former Deputy Prime Minister. 

It's a confession that sits behind a high-profile political career — years of COVID decisions, and eventually, a panic attack he didn't see coming. As pressure mounted for him to take over from Jacinda Ardern, Grant was ready to reluctantly say yes, until one sentence from his partner Alf stopped him cold. 

In this episode, Grant opens up about the physical toll of "giving 110%," the counselling that got him through his final year in politics, the homophobia that was a constant and the phrase he still leans on today to interrupt his own worst-case thinking. 

This is what a 'recovering politician' looks like. Listen now to hear Grant's full story.

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If you need support, here are helpful links, phone numbers and resources: https://ember.org.nz/resources/in-a-crisis/

Blain Collinge was once the reason his parents started Red Door Recovery — refusing help, deep in addiction, with "no desire to change." Over a decade later, he co-leads the very organisation built to save him.

Justine Hamill came to Red Door after her own relapse and recovery, bringing a background in psychotherapy and yoga. Together, they now run a 24/7 recovery service in Upper Hutt — and they don't do it from behind a desk. They lead from lived experience.

In this episode, Blain and Justine talk honestly about the toll of running a business built on crisis, and the story of one young client who arrived labelled "the most difficult client in the mental health system" — and who's now finding her way home.

Hit play to hear why Red Door doesn't do healing by the textbook.

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If you need support, here are helpful links, phone numbers and resources: https://ember.org.nz/resources/in-a-crisis/

She took her first drink at 14 — and for a moment, everything made sense.

Suzy Morrison chased that feeling for years, through other substances and eventually heroin, before it nearly cost her everything. She's been in recovery since 1987 — not as an endpoint, but as an ongoing practice she's still learning. 

Now a counsellor and clinical supervisor, Suzy sits down with Kent to talk honestly about what actually pulls people toward addiction, what pulled her back out and why recovery isn't the straight, narrow road most people imagine.

If you've ever wondered what real recovery looks like — this one's for you. Hit play.

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If you need support, here are helpful links, phone numbers and resources: https://ember.org.nz/resources/in-a-crisis/

Jamie Summers thought he was invincible. At 39, working in construction, high stress and no downtime felt like just part of the job.

Then he had a stroke.

Six and a half years later, he's still living with it — fatigue that doesn't let up, and a mental health toll he doesn't sugarcoat.

Now co-founder of Health15, Jamie goes onto construction sites testing workers' blood pressure and checking for atrial fibrillation. The numbers are stark: only 30% test normal. Some have needed an ambulance on site.

Jamie's not here to lecture. He's here because he didn't see it coming — and he doesn't want anyone else to find out the hard way.

Hit play to hear what changed for Jamie, and why he's not waiting for the industry to catch up.

For more information: https://www.stroke.org.nz/

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If you need support, here are helpful links, phone numbers and resources: https://ember.org.nz/resources/in-a-crisis/

Heidi McIlroy teaches kids who can't make it into a regular classroom. They're too anxious, struggling with their mental health, autistic - kids who carry shame because they think they're broken.

She gets it because she's been there. Years of agoraphobia, hiding it, convinced something was wrong with her.

So she created a book called "This Is How It Feels". It's not advice or expert opinions. It's just real people explaining what their struggles actually feel like - a kid with anxiety, someone who self-harms, what withdrawal feels like, what panic looks like.

The impact has been real. Parents reading it and finally understanding their kids. Teachers using it. Young people picking it up and going, "Yes, that's what I'm trying to say." 

You can pick up a copy of Heidi's book here.

We'd love to hear from you. Send us a text or a voicemail by clicking here.

If you need support, here are helpful links, phone numbers and resources: https://ember.org.nz/resources/in-a-crisis/

A different kind of episode this week. Host Kent recently slept rough for one night at the Big Sleepout. He bedded down on cardboard at the AUT campus, part of a group of 70 community leaders raising funds and awareness for people experiencing homelessness in Auckland.

One night. Terrible sleep. But he was safe, fed, warm and dry. Which made him realise something: people living on the streets don't get that. They go to bed not knowing what tomorrow looks like.

In this episode, Kent reflects on what that one night taught him. Plus, a conversation with Daryl Bishop, CEO of Ember Korowai Takitini, who has his own story of sleeping on the streets when he was younger...  and now fights for systemic change.

If this is a cause you care about too, you can donate to Lifewise here.

We'd love to hear from you. Send us a text or a voicemail by clicking here.

If you need support, here are helpful links, phone numbers and resources: https://ember.org.nz/resources/in-a-crisis/

Joe Daymond is a Kiwi comedian who makes you laugh about the hard stuff - the things most of us hide. He talks about things like mental health and relationships on stage in a way that makes people feel less alone.

He's had low times, including two periods where he slept rough in his car for a bit. The first time in 2018, nobody knew. The second time three years later, after he'd already been on TV. He didn't tell his closest friends either time that he was struggling.

His parents raised him to show up for people. They volunteered, they helped, they made it their priority. Now Joe supports Lifewise's Big Sleepout, raising funds for people experiencing homelessness. 

He's also learned the hardest lesson: showing up to therapy isn't the same as doing the work. The real change happens between the sessions, when you're alone with yourself.

We'd love to hear from you. Send us a text or a voicemail by clicking here.

If you need support, here are helpful links, phone numbers and resources: https://ember.org.nz/resources/in-a-crisis/

Todd Muller was elected leader of the National Party in May 2020, a tantalising final step towards achieving a boyhood dream of one day being Prime Minister. 

Within five days, he was experiencing waves of anxiety he'd never felt before - panic attacks so severe he could barely get through speeches, the words on the page constantly moving and disappearing.

After 53 days, he stepped down as leader. He spent the next three years trying to rebuild. He got reelected. He climbed back to the front bench. But he couldn't sustain it. In 2023, Todd made the hardest decision of his life and walked away from Parliament entirely.

Based in Tauranga, he's now rebuilding around family, fitness, and community. His willingness to be vulnerable has opened conversations with hundreds of men who've said the same words back to him. "I've had a bit of that too."

We'd love to hear from you. Send us a text or a voicemail by clicking here.

If you need support, here are helpful links, phone numbers and resources: https://ember.org.nz/resources/in-a-crisis/

Chris Bowden lost 5 friends to suicide when he was a young man. He coped badly - drinking, drugs, anger, violence, getting into fights. He was spiralling.

A university lecturer noticed something wasn't right and pointed Chris toward help. That counsellor changed his life.

Now Chris is a researcher passionate about understanding how young men grieve suicide loss. His PhD research revealed something crucial: men don't grieve wrong - they grieve differently. And we're not meeting them where they're at.

His work has led him to designing a new degree in trauma transformative support at Wellington's Victoria University. He takes walk-alongs with young men, goes to gaming nights, sits shoulder to shoulder with them.

And he's trying to be the lecturer who reached out - paying it forward.

We'd love to hear from you. Send us a text or a voicemail by clicking here.

If you need support, here are helpful links, phone numbers and resources: https://ember.org.nz/resources/in-a-crisis/

Melanie Rauth grew up in Australia. When her parents separated at 13, she started making different choices - cannabis, the wrong crowd, trouble at school. She had her daughter and in 2010 they moved to New Zealand.

Rural isolation and methamphetamine came next. Her life spiralled into crime and five prison stints between 2017 and 2021.

But on her last arrest, her young daughter had had enough of empty promises. "Show me," she said, and hung up the phone.

That conversation woke Melanie up. She got referred to the Alcohol and Other Drug Treatment Court, where people believed in her for the first time. They understood the drug was the problem, not her character.

Two years post-graduation, Melanie works as team leader at Auckland City Mission Social Detox. She's thriving in recovery and has found a calling helping others navigate the path she's walked.

We'd love to hear from you. Send us a text or a voicemail by clicking here.

If you need support, here are helpful links, phone numbers and resources: https://ember.org.nz/resources/in-a-crisis/

Dave Burnside started drinking at eight. He was drawn into the gang scene and drugs in Auckland. Multiple prison sentences followed - he was angry, railing against the system.

Then one day in Spring Hill Prison, a man from his past appeared at his cell door. Another Dave, someone just like him - gangs, drugs, the same story. But this Dave had found recovery and peace.

Dave didn't remember the words, but he remembered the feeling. "I want what you've got," he thought. That moment shifted everything.

Now Dave mentors incarcerated and formerly incarcerated people, visits prisons, campaigns for drug law reform, and challenges public perception around crime. He's doing a PhD, lecturing at universities, and travelling globally with a message of redemption.

We'd love to hear from you. Send us a text or a voicemail by clicking here.

If you need support, here are helpful links, phone numbers and resources: https://ember.org.nz/resources/in-a-crisis/