Congratulations — you made the list. The FBI’s new NSPM-7 basically classifies anyone who isn’t MAGA as a domestic terrorist. Dingo, Robbbie & Tad walk through the checklist live.

Also: ICE crashes a Marine graduation, a Sunday school teacher gets arrested on her wedding day, and Iran’s Lego rap videos are embarrassing the entire U.S. government.

Democracy’s fine. Everything’s fine.

Are we living in a society? Evidence suggests no. Armed guards at preschools. GoFundMe pages for plane crash survivors. Pete Hegseth’s insider trading (with a satisfying twist). Palm Beach Airport’s unfortunate rebrand. Todd Blanche gutting the DOJ and bragging about it. Philip Burke: Asshole of the Week. Plus the WWI Christmas Truce, Zelenskyy’s Nobel nod, and Robbbie’s rage-brained bitterness. Dark comedy. Political satire. Government incompetence.

What’s in the water? Everything. None of it good. The store is open — grab your “F*ck You, So What?” mug while the oceans die. This week: microplastics in your balls, ICE detaining a woman who was literally already leaving, TSA working for free because daddy said no, and the diesel supply quietly circling the drain. Also Bucks County Pennsylvania is absolutely cooked and Dingo has been eating the same dinner for years. No notes. Things are bleak. Buy a shirt.

The TikTok sale has a $10 billion transaction fee going to the Trump administration and we can’t stop yelling about government corruption. From aircraft carriers on fire to selling national security briefings for campaign donations, we break down the headlines that broke us.

Also: Laura Loomer’s face, treason for money, and why politicians should be universally hated again.

Robbbie tried to build a simple AI and accidentally created Frank — an autonomous AI agent built to make $1M online.

Now this artificial intelligence has a “soul,” is spawning sub-agents, and acting independently like a startup automation bot.

If this AI business experiment turns into Skynet… it’s 100% Robbbie’s fault.

Iran strikes are coming and we’ve learned absolutely nothing. We discuss accidentally killing our own guys, defense contractors getting rich, politicians profiting from war, and why this keeps happening. Also: American Idol season 24 (yes really), did Ruben Studdard die, and are black bears actually pussies.

MAGA guys are catfishing liberal women for anchor babies, Bonnie Blue’s knocked up by one of 400 dudes, and the internet never forgets your porn career. Dingo, Robbbie, and Tad unpack dating deception, fragile masculinity, constitutional violations by ICE, and the brutal economics of sex work. Also: why Florida is a 140-degree hellscape, career pivots in the hustle economy, and the golden rule… mind your fucking business.

Bum Wine Bob joins The Dingo Weekly to review the best of the worst cheap booze. From malt liquor nostalgia and Thunderbird memories to Atlantic City blackouts, we’re diving into the bottom shelf. Dingo shares his survival strategy for the show Alone, and we discuss the nightmare of hot dog Buzz Balls. It’s a comedy podcast deep dive into budget drinking and questionable life choices.

The Year of Curing Cancer? Tad drops global bombshells: Russia’s 100% effective cancer vaccine, Japan restoring paralyzed motor function, and Brazil’s earwax cancer test. Plus, the Epstein Files go “Fortnite”—tracking the “Little Saint Jeff” account active in 2024. We recap a mid Super Bowl, Bad Bunny vs. Kid Rock, and why you need to start a garden now.

Robbbie imports a 5-lb chocolate heart as the crew debates if Groundhog Day is a holiday or a cloaca-pissing contest. Tad slams Back to the Future 3 plot holes and the Balkanization of America. Plus: Robbbie’s rage over the Epstein files “What men?” defense, Dr. Oz’s retirement age plan, and the “weird” MAGA halftime show vs. Green Day’s live Super Bowl opening. It’s a total clown show.

Tad’s 90-minute massage leads to a debate on “strong hands” and pregnancy weight. Robbbie slams PJ Masks for giving a superhero a snowboard instead of working legs. Plus, the crew discusses the “variety” of Mexican food, Trump’s bizarre letter to Norway about Greenland, and why digital piracy is a public service for saving HBO content like Westworld. It’s a total clown show.