Defensiveness can shut down a conversation before you ever get close to resolving anything. But sometimes it’s not just what you’re saying—it’s how you’re approaching the conversation. In this episode, I’m giving you three simple ways to lower someone’s defenses without avoiding the hard conversation. We’ll talk about why words like “always” and “never” immediately put people on guard, how to use “when you, I feel” instead, why finding something you can agree on changes the tone, and how turning commands into “we” questions can keep you on the same team.

Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/

Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson 

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook

Thank you to our sponsors:

AG1. Visit https://drinkag1.com/jefferson and get a FREE AG1 Flavor Sampler and a FREE bottle of Vitamin D3 + K2 in your Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription order.

Factor. Head to https://factormeals.com/jefferson50off and use code JEFFERSON50OFF to get 50% off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year.

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy.

Order my book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today.

Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! 

Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. 

Join My School of Communication

Watch my podcast on YouTube 

Follow me on Instagram 

Follow me on TikTok

Follow me on LinkedIn

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if being more direct actually made people trust you more? My friend Ben Bruno has spent years training some of the most recognizable people in the world, and one of the things I appreciate most about him is that you always know where he stands. In this episode, we talk about how to give an honest opinion without being a jerk, why people respect you more when you stop telling them what you think they want to hear, and how to adjust the way you communicate depending on who’s in front of you.

Get Ben Bruno's STRENGTH app here: https://benbruno.com/

Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/

Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson 

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook

Thank you to our sponsors:

David. Subscribe and save 10% on every order’ at https://davidprotein.com/jefferson 

Our Place. Visit https://fromourplace.com/JEFFERSON and use code JEFFERSON for 10% off sitewide.

Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 20% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out.

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy.

Order my book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today.

Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! 

Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. 

Join My School of Communication

Watch my podcast on YouTube 

Follow me on Instagram 

Follow me on TikTok

Follow me on LinkedIn

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some conversations test your patience. Others test your character. In this call-in episode, I answer your questions about staying calm when emotions run high, setting boundaries with the people you love, handling conflict with confidence, and responding without losing yourself. We talk about how to handle a spouse who won't stop talking, how to tell your friends you hate texting and want them to call you instead, what to do when a parent refuses to use your chosen name, how to navigate political disagreements with family, and whether it's wrong to expect financial help from a wealthy sibling.

Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson

Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/newsletter

Thank you to our sponsors:

Pendulum: Go to https://pendulumlife.com/jefferson and use code JEFFERSON for up to 20% off your first order.

Gusto: Go to https://gusto.com/jefferson and use code JEFFERSON to get three months free when you run your first payroll.

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Order my new book, The Next Conversation, today! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/book Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/topic

**Chapters:**

0:00 How to Handle a Spouse Who Talks Too Much

6:40 How to Tell Friends You Hate Texting

12:15 When Your Parent Refuses to Use Your Name

21:13 Navigating Political Disagreements With Family

28:45 Expecting Financial Help From a Wealthy Sibling

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you've ever wondered how a family goes from talking every week to not talking at all, this conversation is for you. Matthias Barker and I unpack why estrangement rarely happens because of one big moment—it usually comes after years of small moments that were never addressed. We talk about what parents often miss, what adult children wish their parents understood, and why the fastest way to push someone further away is to defend your intentions instead of trying to understand their experience.

Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/

Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson 

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook

Thank you to our sponsors:

LMNT. Head to https://drinkLMNT.com/jefferson to try risk free. 

ZocDoc. https://zocdoc.com/jefferson to find and instantly book a doctor you love today.

Square. Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/JEFFERSON 

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy.

Order my book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today.

Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! 

Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. 

Join My School of Communication

Watch my podcast on YouTube 

Follow me on Instagram 

Follow me on TikTok

Follow me on LinkedIn

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you say when you start to cry in an argument? Absolutely nothing. In this episode, I break down exactly what to do when your emotions run high and the tears start falling during a tense conversation. We talk about why you should never apologize for crying, how to label your tears so you can keep the conversation moving, and why crying is just your body releasing tension. I also cover what to do when someone else starts crying in front of you—and why handing them a tissue or asking if they need a break is actually the worst thing you can do. Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/ Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth: Go to ⁠https://cozyearth.com/Jefferson⁠ and use code JEFFERSON for up to 20% off. BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Order my new book, The Next Conversation, today! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/book Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/topic Join my School of Communication. https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/membership Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson?lang=en Follow me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffersonfisher/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The conversations you've been avoiding rarely get easier—they just get more expensive. In this episode, I sit down with Dave Ramsey to talk about what it really takes to tell the truth with kindness, navigate disagreement without making it personal, and have the conversations most people spend years avoiding. If you want to communicate with more confidence, lead with more clarity, and stop letting fear keep you silent, this episode will give you the tools to do it.

Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/

Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson 

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook

Thank you to our sponsors:

Masa Chips. Get 25% off at https://www.masachips.com/pages/jefferson

AG1: Visit https://drinkag1.com/jefferson to get a free Morning Person Hat and free AG1 Flavor

Sampler in your Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription.

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy.

Order my book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today.

Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! 

Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. 

Join My School of Communication

Watch my podcast on YouTube 

Follow me on Instagram 

Follow me on TikTok

Follow me on LinkedIn

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When someone you care about is grieving, the pressure to say the right thing can be paralyzing. You want to help, but you don't want to make it worse. In this episode, I break down exactly what to say—and what not to say—when someone is dealing with profound loss. We cover why "let me know if you need anything" actually creates more burden for the grieving person, how to eliminate open-ended questions that force them to manage your emotions, and why false positivity is the fastest way to push them away. I'll give you the exact words and actions that show up for people in their darkest moments without requiring them to ask for permission.

Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson

Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook

Thank you to our sponsors:

Tiny Health: Go to https://tinyhealth.com/jefferson for $50 off your first at-home test kit.

Cozy Earth: Go to https://cozyearth.com/Jefferson and use code JEFFERSON for up to 20% off.

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy.

Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Order my new book, The Next Conversation, today!

https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/book

Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!

https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/topic

Join my School of Communication.

https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson?lang=en

Follow me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffersonfisher/

0:00 The Pressure of Saying the Right Thing

3:18 Why You Should Never Say Let Me Know If You Need Anything

6:30 How to Show Up Without Asking for Permission

8:55 Eliminate Open Ended Questions

11:02 Don't Make Them Manage Your Emotions

14:12 The Power of Short Consistent Messages

16:33 Why False Positivity Backfires

18:04 How to Lean Into Their Pain Instead

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever talked yourself out of speaking before you even opened your mouth? I think a lot of us have. We convince ourselves that everyone else is smarter, more experienced, or has something more valuable to say. So we stay quiet. The problem is, the more you do that, the easier it becomes to believe the lie that your voice doesn't matter.

In this conversation, Tori Kelly shares how she spent years believing people only wanted to hear her sing—not hear what she thought. We talk about where that belief came from, how she learned to challenge it, and what it takes to find the confidence to speak up when your mind is telling you to stay silent.

Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/

Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson 

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook

Thank you to our sponsors:

Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 20% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out.

LMNT. Head to https://drinkLMNT.com/jefferson to try risk free. 

Upwork. Visit https://Upwork.com right now to post your job for free and connect with expert freelancers who can help you grow faster without adding full-time overhead.

Try Gusto today at https://gusto.com/JEFFERSON, and get three months free when you run your first payroll. 

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy.

Order my book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today.

Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! 

Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. 

Join My School of Communication

Watch my podcast on YouTube 

Follow me on Instagram 

Follow me on TikTok

Follow me on LinkedIn

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If your boss constantly talks down to you, criticizes you, or makes you feel small, you don't have to just take it. In this episode, I share the phrases I would use to set boundaries, communicate with confidence, and handle difficult bosses without losing your professionalism—or your self-respect.

Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson 

Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook

Thank you to our sponsors:

Monarch Money. 50% off your first year at https://monarchmoney.com/jefferson

Poncho. $10 off your first order at https://ponchooutdoors.com/jefferson

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy.

Order my book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today.

Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! 

Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. 

Join My School of Communication

Watch my podcast on YouTube 

Follow me on Instagram 

Follow me on TikTok

Follow me on LinkedIn

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What can one of the world's best interviewers teach you about communication? In this conversation, I sit down with Bobby Bones to break down the habits that have helped him interview thousands of people, build lasting relationships, and lead a team that's worked together for more than 20 years. We talk about asking better questions, building trust, handling difficult conversations, and the simple shifts that make every conversation stronger.

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook

Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.

https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/newsletter

Thank you to our Sponsors:

Square. Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/JEFFERSON

Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 20% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out.

https://cozyearth.com/pages/jefferson

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy.

Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Order my new book, The Next Conversation, today!

https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/book

Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!

https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/topic

Join my School of Communication.

https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/membership

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher

Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson?lang=en

Follow me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffersonfisher/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some conversations test your patience. Others test your character. In this call-in episode, I answer your questions about staying calm when emotions run high, setting boundaries with the people you love, handling conflict with confidence, and responding without losing yourself. We talk about how to stop overthinking your boundaries, what to say when someone asks questions you don't want to answer, how to break the cycle of the same argument with your spouse, how to handle backhanded compliments, what to do when someone complains nonstop, when a hard conversation is worth having, how to be taken seriously in a male-dominated industry, and how to be a good man without being a pushover.

Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson 

Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/

Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook

Thank you to our sponsors:

LMNT: Go to https://drinkLMNT.com/jefferson for a free sample pack with any order.

ZocDoc: Go to ⁠https://zocdoc.com/jefferson⁠ and book a doctor in your area.

BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy.

Order my book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today.

Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review!

Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! 

Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. 

Join My School of Communication

Watch my podcast on YouTube 

Follow me on Instagram 

Follow me on TikTok

Follow me on LinkedIn

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices