Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger

  • 46 minutes 24 seconds
    How to time a red card, penalty run-ups & commentator Robyn Cowen voice-controls a stadium

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some entry-level superlatives for Lionel Messi, Jean-Philippe Mateta and the "if you did that to someone on the street" test, some hugely undignified refereeing body language on the way for 2025/26, some technical issues with declaring "the fastest red card ever", a commentator in perfect sync with a stadium PA system and Eddie Howe describes the haka in the most Eddie Howe way possible.


    Meanwhile, the panel ponder what makes a win a brushing or a sweeping and wonder which footballer we could most easily rumble if they turned up to a local 5-a-side in disguise.


    Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons


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    4 March 2025, 12:29 am
  • 1 hour 53 minutes
    The Football Cliches Quiz XVIII: It Was What It Was

    The Football Clichés Quiz returns, with the pod aiming to end their dismal run of trivia form against Jonathan Wilson's football history podcast It Was What It Was


    The questions include: Bundesliga goals of the month, World Cup final equalisers, Englishmen abroad, Hungarian hat-tricks, a man who played against Kevin Keegan AND Cristiano Ronaldo, European clubs’ travel distances, four-letter FIFA nations, the average number of digits on the right hands of Uruguay’s goalscorers in the 1930 World Cup final... and an epic round of Happy Hunting Grounds.


    Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons


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    27 February 2025, 2:49 am
  • 48 minutes
    Champions-elect, relegated Rishi Sunak & Premier League managers with Athletic subscriptions

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: whether Liverpool can now be described as "champions-elect", Dion Dublin struggles with a meandering property analogy, a listener fact-checks a Match of the Day joke about Rishi Sunak, a slightly-too-niche football reference on a mainstream TV quiz show, and much more.


    Meanwhile, the panel ponder which Premier League manager is most likely to have an Athletic subscription and and the precise parameters of “we could do worse than signing [Player X]”


    Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons


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    25 February 2025, 12:00 am
  • 56 minutes 34 seconds
    How to celebrate an own goal & ball-boy etiquette: The listeners' loves & hates

    Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.


    Among the selections are the various types of football-related social media profile pictures, the efficient language of mid-game team-mate praise, the correct level of thanks a ball boy should get from players and the appropriate celebration for an opposition own goal.


    Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy the reaction to England manager Thomas Tuchel working from home and some unexpected Premier League chat in the Italian parliament.


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    Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available now: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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    20 February 2025, 12:00 am
  • 56 minutes 19 seconds
    Chuckling stadiums, Things-in-Chief and, finally, some actual whispering of it quietly

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the rare sound of a football crowd chuckling in unison, a definitive list of football’s acceptable “things-in-chief”, a deep dive into the nuances of Jude Bellingham’s La Liga dissent, some classic-style 96th-minute olé-ing from Argentina, Manchester City midfielders’ names in Northumbrian psych-folk, someone actually "whispering it quietly, but" and some supposedly frivolous footballing jargon of the 1970s.


    Meanwhile, the panel debate the threshold for a crowd chanting "we want [X number of goals]" and respond to a brunch cafe's "come and try us" plea.


    Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons


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    18 February 2025, 12:00 am
  • 58 minutes 39 seconds
    Crosses from the 1990s, baseball scores & the death of the managerial "war cry”

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Champions League broadcasting quirks, Alan Shearer and the extinct art of crossing the ball, the most prefix-defying clubs of the 92, the rise and fall of managers "issuing a war cry" and much more.


    Meanwhile, the panel speculate on what would happen to a precocious goalscorer who couldn’t stop getting sent off.


    Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons


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    13 February 2025, 1:24 am
  • 56 minutes 13 seconds
    Nursery rhymes with Fletch, Clark Kent goalkeeping & under-12s away-day cauldrons

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: accidental nursery rhymes in Champions League commentary, a new Premier League low bar for irony, whether Southampton 0 Burnley 1 counts as an FA Cup upset, some inconvenient truths about Manchester City's trip to Leyton Orient, unexpected Portuguese footballers' names in things and home advantage in under-12s football.


    Meanwhile, the panel engage in some earnest Messi vs Ronaldo chat and agree upon the most "haven't turned up" scoreline.


    Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons


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    11 February 2025, 1:26 pm
  • 1 hour 30 minutes
    The Football Cliches Quiz XVII: The Commentators

    The Football Clichés Quiz returns for another clash of niche football trivia, as the pod take on Match of the Day commentators James Fielden, Mark Scott and Chris Wise.


    The questions include: problematically-named second-tier Peruvians, Serie A broadcasters, fraudulent Fernandeses, Brentford substitutes of the early 2020s, Harry Redknapp’s go-to historical tyrant, incredibly obscure football theme tunes, guess the backwards commentary, and Happy Hunting Grounds.


    Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons


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    6 February 2025, 1:06 am
  • 1 hour 1 minute
    The "17th chess piece", the death of the onion bag & coded messages to the board

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Fabian Hurzeler upgrades the traditional football "basics", darts and chess offer their versions of "the 12th man", an unexpected superstar signing for Club Brugge, Premier League players wrestle with some traditional English football phrases, and much more.


    Meanwhile, the panel discuss the art of managers "sending a message to the board" and undertake a cultural review of Arsenal 5 Manchester City 1.


    Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons


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    4 February 2025, 12:09 am
  • 46 minutes 32 seconds
    Referees vs The Limelight, passages of terror & Matt 1 Hernia 0

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: yet another new rival for the "corridor of uncertainty", the media taking Ruben Amorim slightly too literally, a listener's deciding an appropriate scoreline for his hernia operation, more Ligue 1 voiceover curiosity, and a tribute to the soon-to-be-retired Eurosport brand.


    Meanwhile, the panel ponder whether referees really do "seek the limelight" and whether the new-look Champions League officially passes the “whisper it but...” threshold.


    Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons


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    30 January 2025, 12:00 am
  • 45 minutes 26 seconds
    "Football, bloody football", UK garage Postecoglou & the exact weight of a Premier League point

    Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Walker's Ribblesdale Rovers side have a relegation battle on their hands, a subtle misremembering of that Sir Alex Ferguson quote, Jamie Redknapp's curious refereeing vote of confidence, former England wingers on Antiques Roadshow, accidental UK garage from Ange Postecoglou, some pathological footballspeak in everyday life, yet more incorrect football chanting in adverts and, finally, an answer to the question: how much does a Premier League point weigh?


    Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons


    Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

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    28 January 2025, 12:00 am
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