You don’t make it to the top without getting a little weird.

Just ask Cristiano Ronaldo.

He scraps with teenagers, had an orgy with his taxi driver, and keeps a handwritten list of his silverware in his pocket.

From fivesomes with teammates to getting throttled by Ryan Giggs, this is his story…

Links from the episode:

As a youngster: https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/SPORT-PREVIEW-young-cristiano.jpg?quality=80&strip=all&w=1500&h=1000&crop=1

Man United debut: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73DuUGJWuzo

Throws journo’s microphone in a lake: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mIgNSppc4zg

Statue at madeira airport: https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/ace/standard/976/cpsprodpb/1424D/production/_95390528_ronaldobust.jpg

Pat Butcher mural: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRiuR02MyRWY99xd4N7AG770iIyiQ-kjWCV1A&s

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Sure, Usain Bolt ran the 100m in 9.58 seconds. But has he ever been strapped to a teatray and hurled headfirst down Mont Blanc? (or an artificial slide in a concrete chinese business park) And he never shagged Hitler, murdered his rivals, or got high before races either… But I know some people who did… From Stasi spies to hot tub orgies, buckle into your bobsled for the wildest stories in Winter Olympic history… Download SAILY in your app store and use our code UPSHOT at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to https://saily.com/upshot Links from the pod: Australian speed skater who was coming last before the final corner: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUi4-H6hfw8 The actual Jamaican bobsled team: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1aWFW8bOpo

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On the show today: Todd Boehly’s Epstein meetings, Nick Kyrgios' Australian Open bender, and Lewis Hamilton’s finally gets with the girl in the year above

Get Extra shot every week when you join our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers

4 months free of Nord vpn at: www.nordvpn.com/upshot

Links from the pod:

Boxer gets wig knocked off: https://x.com/DevinOffWestern/status/2017778496999985203 

John McEnroe's annoying fan:
https://www.reddit.com/r/tennis/comments/1qtn87l/us_tennis_legend_left_australia_with_a_bang

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Graeme faces death threats, confronts gun-wielding players and is duped into signing striker by a telephone prankster.

After five glorious years in Glasgow, Graeme Souness has been hounded out of his homeland by a terrifying tea lady.

But he’s about to step into the biggest job of all: Liverpool Football Club. 

And that’s when everything goes pear shaped…

Graeme faces death threats, confronts gun-wielding players and is duped into signing striker by a telephone prankster.

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From gun-wielding strikers to love triangles with George Best, this is his story…

In his glory years, Graeme Souness was a bonafide hunk who dated Miss World, won 3 European Cups and took meetings with his knob out.

Which makes you wonder: why is he such a moody bastard?

The Liverpool legend decked his own captain, scalped his friend with a pick axe, and was hounded out of Scotland by an irate tea lady.

From gun-wielding strikers to love triangles with George Best, this is his story…

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They say you have to be mad to be a goalkeeper.

And nobody is more batshit crazy than Lutz Pfannenstiel, the German stopper who played for 25 clubs on 6 continents.

He kidnapped penguins, threatened to knock out Take That and spent 101 days in a grisly Singapore slammer.

From fighting off murderers to dying three times on the pitch, meet Lutz Pfannenstiel: you’re going to like him… 

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In September 2024 the world was a very different place. 

Sleepy Joe was in the White House, The United Strand had a short back and sides, and Ruben Amorim was the most vaunted young coach in Europe.

But 14 months on, United’s latest saviour left a familiar mess in his wake: seething fans, mutinous players and Gary Neville harping on about the Club’s DNA.

From naked fans to nightmares in Grimsby, this is the story of the Worst Manchester United team in history…

LINKS FROM THE POD:

Day one for United Strand: https://www.instagram.com/p/DAx2tTEISrB/

Gary Cotterill demands Ruben speaks English: https://x.com/Footballtweet/status/1853503399402393680

Ed Sheeran gatecrashes his interview: https://x.com/AshMeppers/status/1860759173715071084

Naked fan in Bilbao: https://x.com/turkishphysio/status/1925514123195957743

Sad open top bus parade: https://www.tiktok.com/@livescore/video/7509524698829425942?lang=en 

Ruben dancing his way out: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1q4s4oq/amorim_daps_up_a_paparazzo_after_leaving_his/

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Keep listening to Extra Shot every week by joining The Upshot’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/upshottowers  

(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).

Get tickets to to the Upshot’s Live shows in April: https://www.livenation.co.uk/the-upshot-live-tickets-adp1637635

Download SAILY in your app store and use our code UPSHOT at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For further details go to https://saily.com/upshot 

Links from the pod:

Rio Ferdinand on Solksjaer: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bzNNy6gf-2k 

Brendon McCullum doing the crossword: https://x.com/CricketSangrah/status/2007677153513738741 

Ashes commentator fuck up: https://x.com/MonsieurJudge/status/2008787604754636947 

Ugandan president grilling the players: https://www.instagram.com/reels/DO8MljIgDw5/ 

Congolese AFCON fans: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTIjUONjbai/?img_index=1 

Pep on weighing his players: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/cm20dd4md8qo 

Michael Owen ranks his Christmas dinner: https://www.instagram.com/p/DSakKS7AA_u 

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From pornstar girlfriends to birthday cakes delivered by concorde, buckle in for African football’s maddest moments…

Follow Moses: @mosesduckrell

LINKS FROM THE POD:

Mbutu leopard outfit: https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/proxy/bfgp2w0COKqnrhqELPl0dfTfPDri3ZCn8oRsqNsGdNdKEHEGoi_rUilHZr0eMCOn-mVp6Bl4hoa-t9cSSfJ1Pt6Mmv7SUEWnJaP41QjKlemJB8S6dSKHNn5jf94

Zaire defender boots ball away: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYDXkVGpMpc

Man blocks camera: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/piza3e/during_ugandamali_match_in_african_wcq_person_was/ 

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The Rope and Anchor, 2013.

The pub’s 53-year-old darts champion gulps as his opponent puts down his PSP and step up to the oche.

It’s Luke Littler, the six year old sensation whose rise to the top has just begun.

From splurging prize money on vapes to chirpsing girls on Xbox live, this is the story of darts’ first wonderkid…

Links from the pod:

Luke playing at 18 months old: https://x.com/JumbleBag/status/1748617919368499612 

Crowd singing “you’ve got school in the morning”: https://www.skysports.com/darts/video/12288/13035515/school-in-the-morning-16-year-old-luke-littler-loves-crowd-chant 

Michael van Gerwen aged 17: https://share.google/H8BENZ9THwVUf4OqA 

Rival’s post match interview: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=845583344145998 

“Nah chill begging it”: https://x.com/AFC_Iddy/status/1916919883578647002

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Join us as we dish out the only gongs more worthless than Fifa’s peace prize.

LINKS FROM THE POD:

Lamine Yamal party: https://x.com/JackMacCFB/status/1944719886992744913

Emmanuel Petit announces Pat Rice’s death: https://x.com/AlleyMatty/status/1881478083313906032 

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