In a parallel universe, Gianni Infantino is a faceless functionary in a drab Glattbrugg lawyers’ office.

But somehow this charmless blazer has wooed Donald Trump, partied with the Kardashians and wormed his way into the Middle East peace process.

He did kick ups with Putin, cosied up to Salt Bae and carved his own name on the trophy. Twice.

From FBI raids to $25,000 tickets, this is the story of the most hated man in football…

Get part 2 instantly when you subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers 

If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship

Links from the show:

Young Infantino - https://shorturl.at/yU3Cu 

Infantino family - https://static.india.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/MixCollage-13-Jul-2024-10-06-AM-7379.jpg?impolicy=Medium_Resize&w=1200&h=800 

Infantino ‘07 Champions League final - https://shorturl.at/9Thxo 

Infantino gives Trump shirt - https://shorturl.at/slZLq

Infantino and Putin - https://shorturl.at/Ppfr6 

Keepie-uppies - https://www.instagram.com/reels/C4zofzpuxHz/ 

FIFA FIFA FIFA - https://x.com/UpshotTowers/status/1508452970828025867 

Today i feel… - https://youtu.be/zy9jaX9RAbA?si=gJnhRrsJWjZmclu0&t=9 

Al Thani combatting corruption prize - https://shorturl.at/nI0UL 

Salt Bae visit - https://x.com/TelemundoSports/status/1346885110495383554?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1346885110495383554%7Ctwgr%5Eabb69268fd4caa92cc894b2aa484919210f46bfe%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.telegraph.co.uk%2Ffootball%2F2022%2F12%2F22%2Ffifa-launches-investigation-salt-baes-gatecrashing-argentinas%2F 

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On the show today:

- Thomas Tuchel’s MILF summer.

- The Norwegian stars who had an orgy on the pitch. 

- We hear from England fans caught in car tipping chaos in Mexico

If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit ⁠https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship⁠

JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834

Links:

Hendo breaks arm - https://x.com/arsenalfami1y/status/2073973243568935166 

Kane voice - https://x.com/arsenalfami1y/status/2073973243568935166 

Anthony Gordon fuck off - https://x.com/arsenalfami1y/status/2073973243568935166 

Scary Mexico fans - https://x.com/The_Forty_Four/status/2074030302712771013 

David Bentley dance - https://www.instagram.com/p/DabVBSkBdV2/?hl=en-gb

Tuchel Mumsnet - https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5549319-to-find-thomas-tuchel-strangely-attractive 

Tuchel modelling - https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fs1lhimdxtyi91.jpg 

Belgium Trump dance - https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1upjdmz/during_the_celebrations_of_lukakus_goal_belgian/ 

Balogan red - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmAX7zw41CQ 

Ted Cruz - https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1uoymvh/no_politics_in_sport_senator_ted_cruz_to_trump_on/ 

Casemiro crying - https://x.com/FabrizioRomano/status/2073955232652943533 

Sad fans on Copacabana - https://x.com/bbkigalifm/status/2074011024064184572 

Bloke in Barcelona - https://shorturl.at/Cg3YW

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France’s 2010 World Cup squad was absolutely full of wrong’uns.

From illegal organ harvesting to sex tape blackmail, meet the mutinous French mob who had a meltdown in South Africa.

Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers 

If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship

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On the show today:

- Hysteria and backstabbing as big dogs crash out the World Cup

- David Beckham’s awkward reunion

- Ben Stokes’ big moment is overshadowed by a pundit’s shagging

JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834

If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit ⁠https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship⁠

Links:

Beckham awkward encounter - https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2026/06/comp-1782750686.png?w=646 

Botham on England cricket behaviour - https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3FKSCVCjypk

Jaded Stokes - https://shorturl.at/EH0tL   

Bielsa - https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1ugs4j3/heated_interview_from_marcelo_bielsa_after_being/ 

Hong Myung Bo banned from shops - https://shorturl.at/wrnn9 

Hong Myung Bo blurred in interview - https://www.facebook.com/reel/1558002462427954 

Hong Myung Bo bows to reporters - https://shorturl.at/Q8Xcs 

Ruggeri - https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1uilkbr/fabrizio_corona_matteo_ruggeri_allegedly_pays/ 

Garnacho hair - https://shorturl.at/Jv82D 

JP hair - https://shorturl.at/ZAZgp 

Townsend eating eggs on plane - https://www.instagram.com/p/DaDobq6gVm_/?hl=en

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The England squad that flew to Germany 20 years ago was packed with absolute wrong'uns. From shagging grannies to battering DJs, meet England's last golden generation…

If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834 #football #England #worldcup2026

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On the show today:

- England fans robbing post offices

- The real reason Roberto Martinez stuck with Ronaldo

- Aaaand World Cup’s get its first sex scandal - more on that later

JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834

Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers 

If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship

Links:

Ghana witch doctor - https://shorturl.at/KvYF4 

Lion prediction - https://www.facebook.com/reel/1983902578920572 

Ronay account of Dallas - https://www.instagram.com/p/DZrf1UxTIz6/ 

Spanish drug shack - https://www.instagram.com/p/DZxuDiLi0Yr/ 

Drug shack street view - https://shorturl.at/OlBSZ 

Mexico ‘86 wrong’uns doc - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GI6xxaRUvY  

One Direction in Gothenburg - https://shorturl.at/jAk35 

Xaud restaurant - https://shorturl.at/iMgiz 

Germany 2010 photoshoot - https://bodypainting-arts.de/bodypainting-mit-der-fussball-national-elf-2010/ 

Harry Kane’s dad - https://shorturl.at/SI9UH

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Brazil’s Class of 2002 was filled with scintillating shaggers and absolute wrong'uns. From fake lottery scams to 15-year-old fiancees, meet the World Cup's wildest winners…

If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship

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On the show today:

- Scotland’s wife-stealing striker

- Ecuador’s New York strip club adventures

- Has Anthony Joshua been CLONED

Subscribe to our Patreon: ⁠www.patreon.com/upshottowers⁠ 

If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit ⁠https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship⁠

JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834

Links:

Rod Stewart - https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/39402968/rod-stewart-scotland-world-cup-haiti-cancel-gig/ 

Scot hit by motorbike - https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/scottish-news/15312370/scotland-england-euro-tartan-army-fan-crash-motorbike/  

Worm on the tube - https://x.com/SickChirpse/status/1405864051612303363  

Lyndon Dykes tattoo - https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/sport/football/10839282/lyndon-dykes-scotland-ronaldo/# 

Lego Nike Air Max - https://www.lego.com/en-gb/product/nike-air-max-95-x-lego-set-43025?CMP=AFC-AffiliateUK-VqqTHYs0Frg-3536742-1537979-15  

Red light district cycle lane argument - https://www.instagram.com/reels/DXD0ysrjql8/ 

Mexican locals Gangnam Style - https://x.com/ssmb291_/status/2066519419308970082  

Lee Kang In phone snatch - https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1u4u590/kangin_lee_gets_his_phone_taken_from_him_by/  

Shibuya crossing celebration - https://x.com/MyLordBebo/status/2066393163325952234 

Reversed Japan fans picking up litter - https://x.com/AndyHa_/status/1596842985098215424  

Neymar steals kids shirt - https://x.com/AJIx1998/status/1596868190566424576 

Kendry Paez strip joint - https://x.com/FootballReprt/status/1772449889126953381  

Enner Valencia police chase - https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/oct/07/enner-valencia-everton-chased-police  

Anthony Joshua clone - https://x.com/GreatBritishMC/status/2062592338237751785  

John Fury punching walls - https://x.com/HappyPunch/status/2065985520258163029?utm_source=www.upshot.email&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=trainspotters-underwear&_bhlid=854c537983ebb5edf9b8ba6451eb59be40218e7f

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On the show today:

- Has Thomas Tuchel been dogging in Kansas City?

- The sordid secret behind Ben Stokes’ nightclub scrap

- Lawrence Dallaglio’s back on the naughty step

JPs Gossip Hotline - 07354079834

Links: 

Mexican Wave - https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1040007111920194&utm_source=www.upshot.email&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=severed-heads-of-criminals 

USA Chants - https://x.com/WorldCup26HQ/status/2061822313104834657 

Curacao Arrival - https://x.com/SI_FootballClub/status/2063448675989197130 

1930 World Cup - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJhbRvMRssM&t=354s 

Ben Duckett Noosa - https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ottGKIRTL_4 

Bosnich Injury - https://x.com/10SportAU/status/2062757384897151474

Get part 2 instantly when you subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/upshottowers 

If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship

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England’s World Cup dream is in ruins. It’s the end of the golden generation.

And what comes next is even worse…

In part two, England’s stars sink even further: backseat blowies, managers leaking team sheets to punters on the tube, and undercover stings. 

If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact InjuryLawyers4U on 0330 127 8437 or visit https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship

Links from the show:

Jordan Henderson bebo: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSEtzGEhFHpAncPmAcQzueHxFPYTKwULTdOZA&s 

Hodgson on the tube: https://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/63293000/jpg/_63293881_63285194.jpg

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On the show today: - Raheem Sterling’s 9am balloon arrest - Jack Wilshere’s chirpsing in fish and chip shops - Amir Khan’s caveman sexts If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, contact https://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/?utm_source=theupshot&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=theupshot_sponsorship JP's gossip hotline: 07354 079 834 Links from the pod: Sterling driving incident: https://x.com/debornair99/status/2061513712813719634

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