It’s Edgar’s turn with the flashlight… but, after a heated debate about what makes a better plot device, the death of a beautiful woman or a murderous monkey, little Dean Koontz ends up telling tonight's story instead. It has everything—an all-American Special Army Marine, a poorly written neurodivergent lady, an evil mutagenic monkey who's escaped from science, and a VERY good dog! 

Content notes: swearing, loud noises, some sexual references, comedic violence with some gory noises and gunfire, discussion of death and 'fridging' of women, police/fed raids, references to animal testing, drug references, parody of bad neurodivergence representation. 

CAST:  

• Dean Koontz — WREN MONTGOMERY 
• Clive Barker — DAVID AULT 
• Edgar Allan Poe — RODRIGO BORGES 
• Mary Shelley — REBECCA D'SOUZA 
• HP Lovecraft — ROBIN JOHNSON 
• Stephen King — JASON ROBINSON 

with 

• Travis/Dario Argento — DEXTER HOWARD 
• Nora — BETH LINDLY 
• Lemuel Johnson/David DeCoteau — BRAD BARNES 
• Scientist 1 — LORETTA CHANG 
• Scientist 2 — KATE DAVOLI 
• Priest — TERRI LYNNE HUDSON 
• Roger Corman — BITTER KARELLA 
• Charles Band — JOEL A.S. BUTLER 

and special guests 

• THE MURDER MONKEY as itself 
• MULTIPLE DOGS, including REBEL, MAISIE, and various freely licensed hounds of Freesound, as Einstein 

Script by Bitter Karella, edited by Robin Johnson. Audio production and music by Robin Johnson. 

Dean Koontz's novel Watchers (1987) really is a story about a really cool smart dog who befriends an ex-military hero and his naive new bride, and how they protect each other from the dog's nemesis, a murderous genetically engineered mutant baboon. The book is credited with establishing Koontz as a bestselling author, and has been adapted into no fewer than four (4) movies. It is unknown whether his mom keeps a copy on the fridge. 

A transcript of this episode is available at https://midnight-pals.simplecast.com/episodes/the-tale-of-the-watchers/transcript 

Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals is a work of social and literary satire. All characters are fictitious, especially the real ones; any elements of work not in the public domain are used for the purpose of parody and comment, and no challenge is intended to the ownership or validity of any intellectual property. The Midnight Pals is the creation of Bitter Karella © 

Subscribe to Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, Pocket Casts, or wherever you find podcasts. If you enjoy the show, please leave us a rating or review. For more information, see https://midnightpals.com

The Pals visit JRR Tolkien and his fantasy storytelling friends at Unicorn F*** Club, where Angela Carter puts a modern, feminist spin on a traditional fairy tale. Hans Christian Andersen is smitten. Frank Belknap Long gets stuck in his fursuit. 

Content notes: Swearing, violence, allusion to sexual assault, vomit, gory noises, people being eaten, sex. 

CAST:  

• Clive Barker — DAVID AULT 
• Edgar Allan Poe/JRR Tolkien — RODRIGO BORGES 
• Mary Shelley — REBECCA D'SOUZA 
• HP Lovecraft — ROBIN JOHNSON 
• Dean Koontz — WREN MONTGOMERY 
• Stephen King — JASON ROBINSON 

with 

• Angela Carter/Mother — NICOLETTA GIUSEFFI 
• Little Red Riding Hood — TENEST TANG 
• Wolf — LUPO 
• Woodcutter — DEXTER HOWARD 
• Grandmother — TERRI LYNNE HUDSON 
• CS Lewis — JOEL A.S. BUTLER 
• Hans Christian Andersen — BRAD BARNES 
• Frank Belknap Long — DAVID COURT 

Script by Nicoletta Giuseffi, edited by Bitter Karella and Robin Johnson. Audio production and music by Robin Johnson. 

Angela Carter (1940-1992) was a feminist poet, journalist and author known for her fantasy and picaresque novels and stories. She wrote several versions of Little Red Riding Hood, including "The Werewolf", "The Company of Wolves" and "Wolf-Alice", all of which are included in her excellent collection of feminist retellings of folk- and fairy tales, The Bloody Chamber (1979). "The Company of Wolves" was adapted into a movie of the same name in 1984. 

A transcript of this episode is available at https://midnight-pals.simplecast.com/episodes/the-tale-of-little-red-riding-hood/transcript

Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals is a work of social and literary satire. All characters are fictitious, especially the real ones; any elements of work not in the public domain are used for the purpose of parody and comment, and no challenge is intended to the ownership or validity of any intellectual property. The Midnight Pals is the creation of Bitter Karella ©

Subscribe to Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, Pocket Casts, or wherever you find podcasts. If you enjoy the show, please leave us a rating or review. For more information, see https://midnightpals.com

When Edgar Allan Poe is missing after a violent altercation with Henry W. Longfellow, a mysterious puzzlebox leads the Midnight Pals to the ninth circle of Hell, where they confront a gang of sadomasochistic demons. Brian Jacques humorously outwits a cat. 

Content notes: violence, gory noises, blood, swearing and raised voices. 

CAST: 

• Clive Barker — DAVID AULT 
• Edgar Allan Poe — RODRIGO BORGES 
• Mary Shelley — REBECCA D'SOUZA 
• HP Lovecraft/Brian Jacques — ROBIN JOHNSON 
• Dean Koontz — WREN MONTGOMERY 
• Stephen King — JASON ROBINSON 

with 

• Pinhead — DAVID COURT 
• Thomas the Blue Demon — THADDEUS STRANGE 
• Henry Wadsworth Longfellow — JOEL A.S. BUTLER 
• Rufus Wilmot Griswold — DEXTER HOWARD 

and special guest cat 

• NINJA KITTY GO as Catterina 

Script by Robin Johnson, edited by Bitter Karella. Music and audio production by Robin Johnson. 

A transcript of this episode is available at https://midnight-pals.simplecast.com/episodes/s02e01-the-tale-of-the-hellraiser/transcript 

Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals is a work of social and literary satire. All characters are fictitious, especially the real ones; any elements of work not in the public domain are used for the purpose of parody and comment, and no challenge is intended to the validity of any intellectual property. The Midnight Pals is the creation of Bitter Karella © 

Subscribe to Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, Pocket Casts, or wherever you find podcasts. If you enjoy the show, please leave us a rating or review. For more information, see https://midnightpals.com 

Season 2 of "Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals" releases Friday January 17th, 2025! Living and dead horror authors tell scary stories round the campfire in this audio adaptation of Bitter Karella's Hugo-nominated comedy-horror microfiction. This trailer contains clips from upcoming episodes "The Tale of the Interview with the Vampire", "The Tale of the Watchers", "The Tale of Little Red Riding Hood", and "The Musical Tale of Rebecca". For more information, see https://midnightpals.com 

Share and Enjoy! 

A transcript of this trailer is available at https://midnight-pals.simplecast.com/episodes/season-2-trailer/transcript 

CAST, in order of appearance: 

• Edgar Allan Poe—RODRIGO BORGES 
• Mary Shelley—REBECCA D'SOUZA 
• Stephen King/Richard Bachman—JASON ROBINSON 
• HP Lovecraft/Alfred Hitchcock—ROBIN JOHNSON 
• Daphne du Maurier—JULIA DRAKE 
• Anne Rice—LORETTA CHANG 
• Interviewer/Mrs Danvers—DAISY McNAMARA 
• Dean Koontz—WREN MONTGOMERY 
• FBI Agent/Hans Christian Andersen—BRAD BARNES 
• Angela Carter—NICOLETA GUISEFFI 
• Little Red Riding Hood—TENEST TANG 
• Wolf—LUPO 

Audio production and editing by Robin Johnson. Clips are from episodes written by Bitter Karella, Robin Johnson and Nicoletta Giuseffi. The Midnight Pals is a work of social and literary satire, and any elements of works not in the public domain are used for purposes of parody and comment. 

Midnight Pals created by Bitter Karella © 

Roger Corman attempts to make a series of "Candyman" movies. Can he complete his totally popular, not-at-all-obscure-cult-classic slasher quadrilogy without being thwarted by the bee-adjacent serial killer himself? Oh, and... ONE OF OUR HEROES DIES TRAGICALLY!!!—but gets better, with a brand new face and voice actor. 

Content notes: swearing, sexual references, loud noises, violence, gore, death and murder. 

This episode is dedicated to the memory of Roger Corman (1926–2024), a true pioneer of horror cinema. We've mocked Roger on this show, but the truth is—as with many creators satirized on Midnight Pals—that all the things we mock him for are the very same things that make him awesome. Only Roger could have looked at Edgar Allan Poe's "The Pit and the Pendulum" and seen that what it really needed was Vincent Price prancing around a Halloween castle and Barbara Steele in an oubliette. And it worked. Rest in peace, Roger, and thanks for all the fun.

CAST: 

Introducing 

• DAVID AULT as Clive Barker 

also starring 

• Edgar Allan Poe —  RODRIGO BORGES 
• Mary Shelley — REBECCA D'SOUZA 
• Dean Koontz — WREN MONTGOMERY 
• Stephen King — JASON ROBINSON 
• HP Lovecraft — ROBIN JOHNSON 

with 

• Roger Corman — BITTER KARELLA 
• Tony Todd/Candyman — DASHAWN RICKS 
• David DeCoteau — BRAD BARNES 
• Graham Masterton – DAVID COURT 

This episode was written by Brad Barnes. Script editing, audio production and music were by Robin Johnson. Daisy McNamara was an audio consultant. 

A transcript of this episode can be found at https://midnight-pals.simplecast.com/episodes/the-tale-of-the-candyman/transcript

The Midnight Pals is the creation of Bitter Karella ©. All characters are fictitious, especially the real ones.

Subscribe to Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pocket Cast, YouTube or wherever you find podcasts. If you enjoy the show, please consider leaving us a rating or review. For more information, see https://midnightpals.com

Low-budget movie mogul Roger Corman sets out to produce a papier maché blockbuster adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe's classic tale of psychological suspense. Loosely following the plot of the original, Poe is tasked with taking care of a Scottish castle belonging to a certain formerly popular children's author. But uh oh! His wacky pal Stephen King arrives... with his all-amateur band, the Rock Bottom Remainders, in tow! When an electrical blackout results in the Pals smashing a priceless collection of literary awards, it's a race to get the castle presentable again before the gender-critical reptilian returns! 

Content notes: swearing, raised voices, sexual references, loud noises, discussion of transphobia, death including drowning. Additional CN, 2025: Neil Gaiman is a character in this episode, which was written, produced and released in 2023, before the stories about Gaiman came to light. 

CAST: 

• Edgar Allan Poe —  RODRIGO BORGES 
• Mary Shelley — REBECCA D'SOUZA 
• Clive Barker — SISTER INDICA 
• Dean Koontz — WREN MONTGOMERY 
• Stephen King — JASON ROBINSON 
• HP Lovecraft — ROBIN JOHNSON 

with 

• Roger Corman — BITTER KARELLA 
• Neil Gaiman/Dario Argento — DEXTER HOWARD 
• David DeCoteau — BRAD BARNES 
• Patricia Highsmith — KATE DAVOLI 
• Lord Byron — JOEL A.S. BUTLER 
• Percy Shelley — LOU SUTCLIFFE 
• Secretary — MARNIE WARNER 

and special guest villain 

• HAILEY PIPER as She Who Must Not Be Named 
  • Hailey Piper is the Bram Stoker Award-winning author of Queen of Teeth, A Light Most Hateful, The Worm and His Kings series, and other books of dark fiction. She is also the author of over one hundred short stories appearing in Pseudopod, Vastarien, Cast of Wonders, Cosmic Horror Monthly, and various other publications. She lives with her wife in Maryland, where their occult rituals are secret. Find Hailey at haileypiper.com. 

Edgar Allan Poe's The Tell-Tale Heart is available in Volume 2 of his collected works on Project Gutenberg at https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/2148/pg2148-images.html 

A transcript of this episode can be found at https://midnight-pals.simplecast.com/episodes/s01e08-the-tale-of-the-tell-tale-heart/transcript 

The Midnight Pals is the creation of Bitter Karella © 

Subscribe to Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pocket Cast, Goodpods or wherever you find podcasts. If you enjoy the show, please consider leaving us a rating or review. For more information, see https://midnightpals.com 

It's winter at the campfire, and that means one thing—snow-themed holiday special! The Midnight Pals are visited by Junji Ito, adorable catboy and terrifying master of fucked-up-face-filled manga horror, accompanied by original weeaboo Lafcadio Hearn. The pair narrate an ancient Japanese folktale of ripped samurai, distressed noblewomen, and seasonal ice-demons. Lafcadio helps Junji out by using his insightful perspective as a Greek-Irish academic to explain Japanese tradition and culture. HP Lovecraft nearly has an aneurysm.

Content notes: swearing, raised voices, sexual references, discussion of racism and appropriation, violence, death, references to guns.

CAST: 

• Edgar Allan Poe — RODRIGO BORGES
• Mary Shelley — REBECCA D'SOUZA
• Clive Barker — SISTER INDICA
• Dean Koontz — WREN MONTGOMERY
• Stephen King — JASON ROBINSON
• HP Lovecraft/Lafcadio Hearn — ROBIN JOHNSON

with 

• Junji Ito/Osamu Tezuka — TENEST TANG
• Lord Fujiwara — JON GUTIERREZ
• Lady Minamoto — NICOLETTA GIUSEFFI
• Snow-child — CHIBI
• Naoko Takeuchi — LORETTA CHANG
• Kouta Hirano — JOHN SERRANO

Script by Lou Sutcliffe, edited by Bitter Karella and Robin Johnson. The Japanese sensitivity reader was Minaro Kato-Hopkins, and the Irish accent and swearing coach was Liselle Nic Giollabháin. 

Lafcadio Hearn's translation of the Japanese folktale "Yuki-Onna" (The Snow Woman) is included in his collection Kwaidan: Stories and Studies of Strange Things, which is available from Project Gutenberg at https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/1210

A transcript of this episode can be found at https://midnight-pals.simplecast.com/episodes/s01e07-the-tale-of-the-snow-woman/transcript

The Midnight Pals is the creation of Bitter Karella ©

Subscribe to Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pocket Cast, Goodpods or wherever you find podcasts. If you enjoy the show, please consider leaving us a rating or review. For more information, see https://midnightpals.com

Clive Barker takes the stage and relates his cult classic of an eternal battle—gay monsters versus redneck cops. Cabal has always had unsettling dreams of becoming a gay monster, but his personal journey to gay monsterhood is obstructed by queer-gatekeeping monsters, Nazi sheriffs' departments, and unconvincing gimp-mask serial killer David Cronenberg. Frank Belknap Long teaches Dean Koontz to be a furry. 

Content notes: swearing, raised voices, sexual content, violence, discussion of homophobic and transphobic propaganda techniques, homophobic and transphobic state violence, riots, guns and military weapons, death and killing, attempted genocide. 

CAST: 

• Clive Barker—SISTER INDICA 
• Edgar Allan Poe—RODRIGO BORGES 
• Mary Shelley—REBECCA D'SOUZA 
• Dean Koontz—WREN MONTGOMERY 
• Stephen King—JASON ROBINSON 
• HP Lovecraft—ROBIN JOHNSON 

with 

• Cabal—JOHN SERRANO 
• Lori—LORETTA CHANG 
• Sheriff—DEXTER HOWARD 
• Deputy/David Cronenberg—JOEL A.S. BUTLER 
• Governor/Monster Gatekeeper—CASSIE VULPINE 
• Frank Belknap Long—DAVID COURT 

Script by Bitter Karella, edited by Robin Johnson, inspired by Clive Barker’s 1990 cult film Nightbreed, an adaptation of his novella Cabal. Elements of copyrighted works are used for purposes of parody and comment.

A transcript of this episode can be found at https://midnight-pals.simplecast.com/episodes/s01e06-the-tale-of-the-nightbreed/transcript

The Midnight Pals is the creation of Bitter Karella ©

Subscribe to Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pocket Cast, Goodpods or wherever you find podcasts. If you enjoy the show, please consider leaving us a rating or review. For more information, see https://midnightpals.com

Patricia Highsmith, crime writer, snail friend, and lovable weirdo known for her shabby trenchcoat, eccentric habits, and possibly imaginary wife, investigates a bizarre double murder. Two people who don't know each other, or if you will, "strangers", meet on a rail vehicle, or as it were, "train", and plan the perfect crime. What really happened with Mary Shelley and her polycule at Lake Geneva last summer?

Content notes: swearing, violence, murder, death including by train and drowning.

CAST: 

• Mary Shelley — REBECCA D'SOUZA
• Edgar Allan Poe — RODRIGO BORGES
• Clive Barker — SISTER INDICA
• HP Lovecraft — ROBIN JOHNSON
• Dean Koontz — WREN MONTGOMERY
• Stephen King — JASON ROBINSON

with 

• Patricia Highsmith — KATE DAVOLI
• Jane Williams — HANNAH BROWN
• Percy Shelley — LOU SUTCLIFFE
• Mrs Cleveland — JULIA DRAKE
• Edward Ellerker Williams — DAVID COURT
• Train engineer — CANAVAN CONNOLLY
• Human Guy — DEXTER HOWARD
• Human Bruno — BRAD BARNES

plus special guest stars 

• HELEN ARNEY as Mary Wollstonecraft's ghost
• MIKE McSHANE as William Huskisson MP

Helen Arney is a science presenter and musical comedienne who has appeared in TV, radio and theatre across the world with her unique mix of stand-up, songs and science. For more information, see helenarney.com.

Mike McShane, veteran of Whose Line is it Anyway?, kindly agreed to record a cameo scream in support of Waverley Care, who provide help to people living with HIV and hepatitis in Scotland. Donations can be made at https://waverleycare.org

Script by Robin Johnson, edited by Bitter Karella, inspired by Patricia Highsmith's novel Strangers on a Train and its film adaptation by Alfred Hitchcock. Elements from copyrighted works are used for purposes of parody and comment.

This episode takes many liberties with history, the Midnight Pals characters are not necessarily representative of the real-life authors with whom they share names (except when they are), and Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals should on no account be regarded as a historical source... but...  

• The story that the real Mary Shelley had sex on her mother's grave is often dismissed as myth, but happens to be surprisingly plausible—see this unrolled social media thread by the London Vagina Museum: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1588162489858117634.html
• Shelley, despite centuries of historical gal-pal-ization, was certainly bisexual and probably did have an affair with Jane Williams, the widow of the man who drowned alongside Percy. See https://bi.org/en/articles/famous-bis-mary-shelley
• William Huskisson, member of parliament for Liverpool, was indeed killed by the first train locomotive, Stevenson's Rocket, during a technical demonstration. He'd probably have survived if he hadn't stopped halfway across the tracks to dither over whether to go left or right, which ought to be a lesson for all politicians. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Huskisson#Death

A transcript of this episode can be found at https://midnight-pals.simplecast.com/episodes/s01e05-the-tale-of-the-strangers-on-a-train/transcript

The Midnight Pals is the creation of Bitter Karella ©

Subscribe to Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pocket Cast, or wherever you find podcasts. If you enjoy the show, please consider leaving us a rating or review. For more information, see https://midnightpals.com

Arthur Conan Doyle stumbles upon the Midnight Pals' storytelling circle and reluctantly agrees to bring beloved supersleuth Sherlock Holmes back for one last, final, final case. A locked-room murder mystery turns to metafictional highjinks as the Pals are embroiled in the world of Holmes's adventures, sort of like when the holodeck malfunctions on Star Trek.

Content notes: swearing, raised voices, drug references, portrayal of psychologically abusive relationships, threats of violence, guns, discussion of death, loss, grieving and murder.

CAST 

• Edgar Allan Poe — RODRIGO BORGES 
• Mary Shelley — REBECCA D'SOUZA 
• Clive Barker — SISTER INDICA 
• HP Lovecraft/Arthur Conan Doyle — ROBIN JOHNSON 
• Dean Koontz — WREN MONTGOMERY 
• Stephen King — JASON ROBINSON 

with 

• Sherlock Holmes — LOU SUTCLIFFE 
• Dr Watson — CANAVAN CONNOLLY 
• Professor Moriarty/Ian Fleming — JOEL A.S. BUTLER 
• Inspector Lestrade — LISELLE NIC GIOLLABHÁIN 
• Old-timey radio announcer — NOMI IBSEN 
• Raymond Chandler — DEXTER HOWARD 

Script by Robin Johnson, edited by Bitter Karella, based on the Sherlock Holmes stories of Arthur Conan Doyle. Production and music by Robin Johnson. Daisy McNamara was an audio consultant.

Most of Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories (as well as his Professor Challenger ones) are in the public domain and can be found on Project Gutenberg at https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/author/69

A transcript of this episode can be found at https://midnight-pals.simplecast.com/episodes/s01e04-the-tale-of-sherlock-holmes/transcript

The Midnight Pals is the creation of Bitter Karella ©

Subscribe to Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pocket Cast, or wherever you find podcasts. If you enjoy the show, please consider leaving us a rating or review. For more information, see https://midnightpals.com

Neurotic closet-dweller Bram Stoker visits the campfire to tell his iconic vampire story. In Transylvania, hot twink Jon "Jonathan" Harker shacks up with a rich older man who wants to consume his bodily fluids. Meanwhile in England, notorious strumpet Lucy Westenra attempts to ensnare her innocent friend Mina into the dangerous and disgusting world of sex. A cautionary tale about the perils of horniness, as Bram attempts to prove once and for all that vampires are in no way sexy. Mary Shelley invites Anne Rice and Stephenie Meyer just to stir the pot. 

Content notes: swearing, raised voices, violence, death, guns, gory sounds, Victorian institutionalisation of mental health patients, strong sexual content. 

CAST 

• Edgar Allan Poe/Dracula — RODRIGO BORGES 
• Mary Shelley/Mina Murray — REBECCA D'SOUZA 
• Clive Barker — SISTER INDICA 
• HP Lovecraft — ROBIN JOHNSON 
• Dean Koontz — WREN MONTGOMERY 
• Stephen King — JASON ROBINSON 

with 

• Bram Stoker/Quincey Morris — JOEL A.S. BUTLER 
• Jonathan Harker — THADDEUS STRANGE 
• Lucy Westenra — MARNIE WARNER 
• Dr Van Helsing/Dr Seward — CASSIE VULPINE 
• Renfield — JOHN SERRANO 
• Anne Rice — LORETTA CHANG 
• Stephenie Meyer — NOMI IBSEN 
• Additional voices — EMILY HANNAK, LOU SUTCLIFFE, DAVID COURT 

Script by Bitter Karella, edited by Robin Johnson, based loosely on Dracula by Bram Stoker. Production by Robin Johnson. Music by Alex Rancourt, Robin Johnson and Lou Sutcliffe. 

Bram Stoker's 1897 novel Dracula is the codifying example of the vampire story in popular culture. The book is in the public domain and can be found on Project Gutenberg at https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/345 

Stoker's completely normal letter to Walt Whitman, written on Valentine's Day of 1876, can be read at https://www.themarginalian.org/2019/01/09/bram-stoker-walt-whitman-letter/ 

A transcript of this episode can be found at https://midnight-pals.simplecast.com/episodes/s01e03-the-tale-of-dracula/transcript 

The Midnight Pals is the creation of Bitter Karella © 

Subscribe to Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pocket Cast, or wherever you find podcasts. For more information, see https://midnightpals.com