Merry Christmas, Secret Mum Clubbers! Here’s an extra-special festive treat, featuring terrible cracker jokes, a Christmas Eve baby, and a very naughty elf. 🎄

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Christmas chaos has hit as Soph falls out of the loft, one listener causes some Santa-based trauma (listener discretion advised 👀), and Emma shares some questionable bog brush opinions. There are surprise appearances during festive games, and the discovery of a tiny baby Jesus in the wild.

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A listener shares a cautionary tale about snooping for presents, and why it pays to be very specific when asking for gifts. One mum’s heartfelt update after two years has Soph and Emma reflecting on their own postpartum days, and the ladies debate whether moving schools for just one year is really worth it.

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From co-sleeping and separate bedrooms to toddlers who always end up back in mum’s bed, Soph and Emma reassure one listener that “musical beds” is just part of early parenthood. Plus, festive overwhelm, food struggles with three-year-olds, and a clock-changing mum hack that might just change your life!

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Soph and Emma are reacting to a listener's sneaky fib to her partner about their baby's first word... which gets them started on whether first words are an indicator for further down the line. Plus, we revisit Emma's trip out with her ex - but who's right, Soph, or Emma?

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Soph’s just got back from an unforgettable trip to Paris… but not for the reasons you might think! Renley had a full-blown restaurant poonami, while Dottie spent the trip bonding with her new Parisian “friend.” Meanwhile, Emma brings your secrets to the table, from surviving the first-trimester slog to reclaiming night-time itchy-leg time, and the things we really shouldn’t say in front of the kids.

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Soph and Emma help a listener weigh up the pros and cons of sending their little one to a tiny rural school (with a class dog!) versus a bigger local school with more resources. Plus, colostrum collection tips and a touching letter that reminds them just how lucky we are to lead the lives we do.

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A potty victory turns into a parenting nightmare when one listener’s toddler eats what he shouldn’t. Emma spills the tea in her Secret of the Week, while Soph navigates Harry Potter debates with Dottie. Plus, the ladies hear from a mum whose baby is struggling to settle with Dad.

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Emma’s officially back in the studio, and the Correspondence Corner is full to the brim with one mum’s laundry basket hack and the cutest video of a little one spotting their artwork on the Secret Mum Club gallery wall. Plus, Sophiena is getting some wedding inspo!

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Sophiena’s secret of the week has us all scratching our heads as she battles what might be scalp mould. Roxanne steps in to help a mum navigate dance-school drama, and we round things off with a classic sweary toddler secret.

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Sophiena and Roxanne chat about what the future might look like - from the children bringing home partners to potentially becoming grandparents before they know it! Along the way, they reminisce about their own teenage antics and share a listener’s unforgettable poonami moment.

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