Parenting a child with ADHD, autism, Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Pervasive Demand Avoidance (PDA) or sensory challenges can feel unpredictable.

One day everything is fine. The next day it isn’t. Food they ate yesterday is suddenly rejected. A fun outing becomes overwhelming. And sometimes it all ends in a meltdown.

Perhaps your child doesn’t have a diagnosis, but it’s clear they’re not coping. And neither are you.

In this episode, Sonia Gray speaks with sensory integration practitioner Elen Nathan about what’s going on in these moments.  And why the answers parents often look for may not be the ones that help most.

This conversation explores a powerful shift in how challenging behaviour is understood. Regardless of a child’s specific diagnosis or neurotype, their nervous system may be trying to tell us something important.

So what actually helps when nothing seems to be working? 

Elen says: “It all boils down to a sense of safety.”

In this episode we explore:

• What to do when your child isn’t coping
• Why behaviour can change from one day to the next
• What you can do while waiting for a diagnosis
• Why meltdowns are often misunderstood
• The shift in how experts think about behaviour and sensory processing
• How to deal with the judgement of others

If you’re parenting a child who isn’t coping right now, this conversation may offer some insight.

Guest:  Elen Nathan The Playful Place

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ADHD stimulant medication use is rising in New Zealand, but questions about safety and side effects remain - as does the stigma surrounding these meds.

In the first episode of Season three, Sonia Gray explores what ADHD medication actually does - and what it doesn’t. You’ll hear 11-year-old Tilly take her morning pill and describe, in real time, how it changes the way she feels.

Sonia also speaks with Professor Dave Coghill about how stimulant medication works. Dave addresses some common concerns around safety and effectiveness, and explains what a comprehensive medication trial should involve.

Medication isn’t the only treatment for ADHD. But for many, it can be life-changing.

Note: This episode is for educational purposes only and does not replace personalised medical advice. Always consult a qualified health professional about treatment decisions.

Guests:
Professor Dave Coghill
Tilly and Bex

Resources:  ADHD NZ

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We all know what Tourette’s is - or we think we do.  But this is a condition that is largely misunderstood and routinely misrepresented. Only around 10% of those with Tourette’s syndrome have the ‘swearing tic’ - coprolalia.  But the other vocal and motor tics can be just as debilitating.

In this episode, Sonia speaks to Tiktok sensation, Leighton Clarke - aka Uncle Tics. He now embraces his Tourette’s and encourages others to do the same.

We also hear from Fyfe, a bubbly and creative 10-year-old. Her mother Amanda describes Fyfe’s journey - from the occasional tic, to a diagnosis of Tourette’s syndrome.

And clinical psychologist, Hilary Mack, talks about the connection between Tourette’s Syndrome, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and ADHD.

Guests:
Leighton Clarke (Uncle Tics) Tiktok
Fyfe and Amanda
Hilary Mack Hilary Mack Psychology

Resources: Tourette’s Association of NZ

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A diagnosis of ADHD, autism or dyslexia is merely an indication that your brain works in a different - and exciting - way.

So why are the rates of co-occurring anxiety and depression so high for neurodivergent people?  

In this episode, Sonia talks to 16-year-old Emily Martin, who has ADHD, dyslexia and dyscalculia.  Emily suffered from intense anxiety and low self-esteem throughout her primary school years.

Therapist Jane Kjersten explains the specific type of trauma that can come from feeling ‘lesser than’, and suggests ways to heal from the emotional pain.

Guests:
Emily and Jo Martin
Jane Kjersten Jane Kjersten Therapist 

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Dyspraxia (or Developmental Coordination Disorder) is more than just a difficulty tying shoelaces or riding a bike.  It impacts almost every aspect of life, and the effort to carry out basic tasks can be exhausting.

Sonia talks to Bayley Garnham, a 24 year old Personal Trainer, who has dyspraxia and dysgraphia. Dyspraxic kids often give up on sports early, but Bayley wants to change that.  He believes these kids need a different approach to learning sports.

And Sensory Integration Practitioner, Elen Nathan, explains what dyspraxia/DCD is - and what’s going on inside the minds of those with this ‘hidden’ condition.

Guests:
Bayley Garnham bayley garnham – personal trainer
Elen Nathan The Playful Place

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Resources:  Dyspraxia NZ

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The parents of kids with neurodifferences face multiple challenges. But while navigating a broken system is exhausting, the constant scrutiny of your parenting can be worse.

In this episode, Sonia talks to TVNZ’s 1News at 6 presenter, Melissa Stokes and Newstalk ZB Host, Francesca Rudkin about advocating for their children.

And researcher Willow Sainsbury, explains why the go-to suggestion of ‘parenting courses’ can be so distressing for parents.

Guests:
Melissa Stokes
Francesca Rudkin
Willow Sainsbury Research Study on Parent's Experiences
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Resources:
Online Every Day with ADHD Parenting Evening Course
Programmes Archive - Autism NZ

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Parenting a neurodivergent child is wonderful, but it’s challenging.  Often, it can feel like the only people who understand are other parents on the same road.

In this episode, Sonia talks to Francesca Rudkin, who had to navigate life with a daughter in crisis, before ADHD was identified.

We meet members of the ‘Dad’s Autism Support Group’ in Auckland who all have kids with high-needs on the autism spectrum. They say connecting with each other regularly, and sharing the highs - and the lows - has been invaluable.

And educational psychologist, Willow Sainsbury, talks about the experience for parents getting a diagnosis and support.  The main theme of her research study was ‘the battle’.

Guests:
Francesca Rudkin
Peter, Mac, Noah and Gareth from the Dad’s Autism Support Group
Willow Sainsbury Research Study on Parent's Experiences

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The rates of ADHD and dyslexia in prisons is staggering.  But these same neurotypes are also more likely to be successful CEO’s and entrepreneurs.  So where is the fork in the road? What leads someone down the wrong path?

Sonia Gray talks to Ricky Wakelin, a kind and gentle father-of-two. In the early 2000’s Ricky’s life had spiralled out of control. He was addicted to hard drugs and was eventually incarcerated for armed robbery.  

Three years ago, an assessment confirmed that Ricky has ADHD.  The diagnosis has helped him understand the reasons behind his lifelong struggle with things like emotional regulation and hypersensitivity.

Sonia also talks to forensic psychologist Anton Ashcroft, who explains why those with ADHD are often drawn to illicit substances.  He talks about the value of connection, and why this - rather than tougher consequences - is so important for the rehabilitation of offenders.

Guests: 
Ricky Wakelin
Anton Ashcroft - Forensic Psychologist

Resources: 
ADHD NZ
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It’s very difficult to get by in society when you don’t use words to communicate.  Non-speaking autistic people tend to be invisible, unless they are ‘causing a problem’. 

Olympic rower Eric Murray is father to 12 year-old Zac, who is autistic and ADHD.  He talks to Sonia Gray about the challenges, the joys and the desperate need for support and understanding.

Guests: 
Eric Murray
Anna Middleton - Senior Behaviour Specialist - Explore Services
Resources: Autism NZ https://autismnz.org.nz

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Many autistic people have spent their lives masking, but it’s an exhausting and inauthentic way to live. Now, as understanding around neurodivergence grows, many autistics are choosing to ‘unmask’ and embrace their differences.

Autistic comedian Abby Howells has found success as her authentic, ‘unmasked’ self on stage. The things she used to hate about herself are now working for her.  And she wants to encourage other autistic people to lean into who they truly are.

Guests:  
Abby Howells Instagram
Dr Sarah Watson Totally Psyched

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In this episode Sonia Gray finds out how vital people with dyslexia are to the survival of the human race  - they're the explorers, creative thinkers and problem solvers.
She talks to poet and playwright, Dominic Hoey, who has written award-winning books, despite his reading challenges.

And dyslexic researcher and champion, Dr Ruth Gibbons, talks about the importance of movement for dyslexics. 

GUESTS:  

• Dr Ruth Gibbons - Massey University Social Anthropology lecturer

• Dominic Hoey - Writer
• Oliver and Amy Williams

RESOURCES:
The Dyslexia Foundation of NZ
SPELD
Learn To Write Good

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