As the title suggests, today I'm spilling my guts. There's been a lot going on in my life—and in my brain—and it felt good to sit down and talk through some of it. We're chatting about a surprising first-time club experience in LA, some behind-the-scenes on a couple upcoming interviews, more beef with Mormon apologists, an addition to the crazy moving lore, and all the ways I'm starting to feel like a new person.

You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp Patreon here.

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I thought my move was chaotic, but it's got nothing on some of your moving stories. We're talking about everything that can (and did) go wrong during a move, plus a few surprisingly sweet stories of things going unexpectedly right. Lost keys, missing washboards, dead pet fish, sick children... and a little moving magic. U-Haul, sponsor us?
The Astronaut Driving Cross-Country in Diapers story

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Moving IS hell, but LA is feeling pretty heavenly so far! Today I’m telling you the good, the bad and the ugly of packing up our whole life in Utah and trekking out to our new life in California.  It’s been good exposure therapy for my control/perfectionist side and a good opportunity to reflect on life, transitions and what I really want out of it all. We’re also talking the weird limbo zone of moving, saying goodbye to friends and family and why our dirty little rental in Atwater already feels like home.

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Love Trapped podcast

All Fours by Miranda July

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Wow. Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke was quite the ride and, for many women raised in conservative Christian culture (like me!), a disturbingly familiar one. Today I’m recapping the book, but even more so unpacking the themes underneath it: womanhood, motherhood, toxic masculinity, performance, privacy, religion, and influencer culture. I also tackle the question everyone seems to be asking: who exactly is this story inspired by? Hannah Neeleman? Ruby Franke? Something more general? Or something else entirely?

You can listen to the whole episode on the Girlscamp Patreon here.

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Detroit native Alley Bird comes to Girlscamp to talk about her experience growing up as a Black Mormon girl, learning about the priesthood ban in seminary as a teenager, and later experiencing colorism on her mission in El Salvador. We talk about the health (or lack thereof) of sister missionaries, the resources (or lack thereof) for Black missionaries facing racism, and the unique culture surrounding Mormon missions. Alley also shares about her brief stint as a Temple Square Visitors’ Center missionary during Covid.

You can find Alley on TikTok here and on Instagram here.

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It’s been 10 years since our Mormon temple wedding at 20 and 21. Today Bentley and I are reflecting on young marriage, navigating faith deconstruction as a couple, the advice we’d give our younger selves, and whether we’d do it all over again.

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Today’s guest Ash Santos always dreamed outside the Mormon box. After an early marriage and becoming a mom young, she landed her first big break on American Horror Story. She later deconstructed her faith and then her marriage. And after years of fighting for the life she actually wanted, she’s now in a lead role as Andrea Cruz on the CBS hit series Marshals.

Amber Fillerup Girlscamp episode

Ash Santos on Instagram

Marshals on CBS

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We’re doing a bread-and-butter Girlscamp submission episode today: church mission stories. We’re chatting about crazy (and sometimes dangerous) companions, bizarre proselytizing run-ins, and what happens when you tell the Mormon missionaries you don’t believe in Joseph Smith. Come along for the ride!

Crazy Mormon Mission Stories episode

STALKED on a Mormon Mission episode

Sister Missionary Snapchat ad

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We’ve got much to discuss about Netflix’s new docuseries Trust Me: The False Prophet. Watching it, I was surprised by how familiar parts of it felt. In this episode I talk through the parallels and patterns I noticed between the Samuelites, the FLDS, and mainstream Mormonism.

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Today we’re catching up. I’ve got some life updates, big and small, to talk through with you. And, per usual, lots of thoughts and feelings about all of them.

Vagus Nerve Exercises card deck

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Chief Mary Murdock Meyer joins Girlscamp to share the history of the Timpanogos Nation, especially where it intersects with Mormon settlement in what we now call Utah. She talks about what life looked like for her people before 1847, what changed after Mormon settlers arrived, and how that history still shapes the Timpanogos Nation. We also talk about what those of us with Utah pioneer ancestry can better understand about how to engage with this history now.

Petition to rescind extermination order

The Timpanogos Nation website

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