In this episode, Jason and Lauren explore how real maturity isn’t about getting more of what you want, but learning to loosen your grip. From parenting and marriage to grief and becoming grandparents, they unpack how surrender shapes relational health, heals fear, and builds a legacy that lasts.

Because at some point, growth looks less like striving… and more like letting go.

In this episode, the Vallotton's talk about:

•  the shift from becoming into surrender—and why it’s where maturity deepens 
•  how grief and becoming young grandparents reframed legacy and freedom 
•  why surrender isn’t a stage, but a lifelong invitation 
•  what parenting reveals about our natural tendency toward “mine” 
•  how maturity moves us from consuming to producing in relationships 
•  the role of surrender in marriage, and what it looks like daily 
•  how anxiety, control, and insecurity quietly sabotage connection 
•  what it means to surrender without losing your voice, needs, or boundaries 
•  why true surrender is costly—and not a carefree feeling 

At the end of the day, surrender isn’t about losing your life—it’s about becoming someone who can love well, live freely, and leave something meaningful behind.

Closing question:
What do you need to surrender?

Resources:
Lauren’s upcoming memoir Past the Picket Fence
Join the list + read the prologue and first chapter:
pastthepicketfence.com

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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In the last episode of Dates, Mates & Babies, Jason and Lauren talked about honoring the one who dared to dream. But dreaming is only the beginning. In this episode, they explore the next phase of the journey: becoming.

The dream isn’t usually the problem—and the delay isn’t punishment. Often, the space between dreaming and fulfillment is where the real work happens. As Lauren says, “God cares less about giving you the dream quickly than forming you to carry it well.”

Jason and Lauren discuss the gap between desire and capacity—how desire reveals what we want, but capacity determines what we can actually sustain. From marriage to motherhood to calling, many of the things we long for require emotional, relational, and spiritual maturity that takes time to develop.

They unpack what becoming actually looks like in real life: conflict that exposes ego, responsibility that reveals control issues, feedback that surfaces insecurity, and hidden seasons where faithfulness grows without applause. As Jason shares, true maturity isn’t just about achievement—it’s about emotional regulation, humility, and consistency.

The conversation also addresses common lies we believe during seasons of growth: that we’re behind, that detours mean we missed it, or that if something were meant to be it would come easily. Instead, Jason and Lauren invite listeners to see these seasons as intentional formation, not failure.

They close with practical ways to build capacity—growing emotional resilience, staying faithful in hidden seasons, taking ownership of personal triggers, and learning to do small things consistently over time.

Because becoming isn’t about striving to be impressive. It’s about growing sturdy enough to carry the life you once dreamed about.

Resources:
Lauren’s upcoming memoir Past the Picket Fence
Join the list + read the prologue and first chapter:
pastthepicketfence.com

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Last week, Jason and Lauren named the disorientation so many women feel in their 30s — when life doesn’t look the way they imagined. This week, they gently trace the story back to where it began.

Before there was disappointment… there was dreaming.

Lauren reminds listeners that those early dreams weren’t foolish — they were sincere. They mattered. Instead of shaming the younger version of ourselves, maybe we honor her and ask what she was really longing for.

In this episode, Jason and Lauren explore:

• Why dreaming is holy — how desire often introduces you to your design.
• How idealism in your 20s isn’t immaturity, but momentum.
• The subtle shift from “I hope” to “I deserve” when we wait or feel disappointed.
• How timelines and unspoken expectations can quietly become measuring sticks.
• The internal contracts we form: “By 30 I’ll be…” “My marriage will feel like…”

You’ll walk away with practical tools to hold vision without clinging:

• Separate the essence from the packaging.
• Surrender the timeline, not the desire.
• Ask who you need to become to carry the dream well.

This episode is tender, grounding, and hopeful — a reminder that the dreaming phase wasn’t wasted. It was forming you.

Maybe your dream didn’t die. Maybe it grew up.

Resources:
Lauren’s upcoming memoir Past the Picket Fence
Join the list + read the prologue and first chapter:
pastthepicketfence.com

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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BraveCo Instagram
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In this deeply honest episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton talk about the quiet disorientation that can surface in your 30s — especially when life doesn’t look the way you thought it would.

They open with a vulnerable admission: you can have the life you once prayed for… and still feel unsettled inside it.

Lauren shares how her 30s revealed something unexpected — it wasn’t that she needed a better plan. She needed a different version of herself. Together, they explore how what feels like breakdown is often actually recalibration.

This episode is for the woman who has checked the boxes, carried responsibility well, made thoughtful decisions… and still feels like something doesn’t quite fit.

You are not failing. You are becoming.

IN THIS EPISODE, THEY DISCUSS:

The Disorientation No One Prepared You For | “This isn’t a breakdown. It’s a recalibration.” 

Jason and Lauren unpack the “picket fence” script many of us subconsciously follow — the belief that if we do X, life will look like Y. What happens when you do the right things… and it still doesn’t feel the way you expected?

They talk about why this tension often surfaces in your 30s — when decisions carry weight, comparison gets louder, and responsibility leaves less room for fantasy.

The Three Griefs Nobody Names | “Sometimes the pain isn’t your life… it’s the funeral of the life you expected.”

Lauren gives language to three quiet griefs many women carry:

• The grief of the timeline — the life you thought would have happened by now
• The grief of identity — when the version of you that worked in your 20s doesn’t work anymore
• The grief of outcomes — when you did the “right things” and life still got hard

Together, they gently ask the question many women haven’t stopped long enough to consider: What are you grieving that you’ve been calling “just stress”?

This conversation is tender, grounding, and full of hope. Because sometimes what feels like disorientation isn’t failure — it’s reorientation. And letting go of the dream life might be the very thing that makes room for a truer one.

If this episode resonates, share it with a friend who’s navigating her own season of becoming.

Resources:
Lauren’s upcoming memoir Past the Picket Fence
Join the list + read the prologue and first chapter:
pastthepicketfence.com

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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BraveCo Instagram
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This episode is a live recording of Jason Vallotton’s message at Bethel Church on November 30, 2025—a raw, clarifying teaching on God’s Plan for Forming Men, shared in the context of the upcoming BraveCo Rite of Passage Event in Jacksonville February 28, 2026.

God has a blueprint for forming men who carry strength, humility, and responsibility into their homes, marriages, and work. That blueprint is both simple and demanding—formed, filled, and finished—and it unfolds through the stages of calling, testing, equipping, and commissioning.

In this message, Jason unpacks why being made from dust matters, why being filled with the Spirit is non-negotiable, and why testing isn’t punishment but refinement. Marriage becomes a mirror. Work becomes a training ground. Feedback becomes the tool that confronts ego head-on. Equipping looks like delayed gratification—showing up when you don’t feel like it, choosing peace over pride, and learning to carry responsibility without collapsing under it. Commissioning comes when failure is no longer hidden, but redeemed into testimony that helps other men walk free.

The turning point is mentorship. Jesus didn’t say, “Follow me and figure it out.” He said, “Follow me, and I will make you.” Jason brings this home through the powerful rite-of-passage story of Caleb, a young man born with club feet who completed a brutal course because a tribe refused to let him walk alone. This is the heart behind BraveCo: men formed in community, forged through challenge, and released with clarity and purpose.

This episode is a call to movement—not theory. You’ll hear a practical vision for how men can get connected, equipped, challenged, and sent, and why identity is forged best in brotherhood. Great men aren’t born. They’re built—together.

Next Steps

• Subscribe so you don’t miss future conversations
• Share this episode with a man who needs brotherhood
• Leave a review to help others find the podcast

And we’d love to hear from you: Where are you in the journey—calling, testing, equipping, or commissioning?

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton invite listeners into a practical and intentional conversation about preparing for the year ahead. As 2026 approaches, they challenge couples and families to move beyond vague hopes and instead position themselves to win through clarity, reflection, and aligned action. This episode is about slowing down long enough to ask the right questions—and taking ownership of what truly matters.

In This Episode:
  • Why having a clear plan is essential for long-term success
  • How to assess whether you—and your family—are actually set up for success
  • The importance of defining a target before trying to hit it
  • Why reflection on the past year is a necessary step before planning the next one
  • How intentional, dedicated time with a spouse creates alignment and shared vision
  • Why time is the greatest investment families make—and the importance of knowing where it’s going
  • The value of shared calendars and shared expectations
  • How identifying the one thing to do this week can create meaningful momentum

Key Questions Jason and Lauren Encourage Listeners to Ask:
  • Are we living reactively, or are we intentionally aiming at something?
  • Where is most of our time going—and does that reflect our priorities?
  • What kind of family culture are we building right now?
  • What is the one practical step that can be taken this week to move forward?

Episode Takeaway:
  Jason and Lauren believe that success doesn’t happen accidentally—it’s the result of clarity, alignment, and intentional investment. This episode helps listeners reflect on where they’ve been, assess where they are, and take a meaningful step toward building a healthier, more connected 2026.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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As 2025 comes to a close, Jay and Lauren sit down to reflect on a full and meaningful year—both personally and professionally. From holiday time with family, to celebrating their daughter’s engagement, to the launch of Lauren’s book, and the powerful impact of the BraveCo Rite of Passage event in Florida, this episode is an honest year-end update.

They also share what listeners can expect from the podcast in the new year—how their focus is evolving, what they’re excited to explore, and the kinds of conversations they feel most called to lead in the season ahead.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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This week’s episode is taken from the BraveCo podcast as the Vallotton’s  believe the message is SO important for the Dates, Mates, & Babies audience too!

From Jason on the BraveCo Podcast:

THE BRAVECO RITE OF PASSAGE: https://www.braveco.org/riteofpassage
As a pastor, counselor, and dad, I have watched so many young men stumble their way into manhood without a clear pathway. In this episode of the Brave Co Podcast, I break down the stages our sons move through and what it looks like to call them out of boyhood and into manhood with intention. From the “cop” phase with little kids, to mentoring teens, to coaching young men who are 18, 19, and 20 and still living at home, I share real stories from my own life and conversations I have with fathers all the time.

I talk about how to shift from controlling your son’s every move to training him to make wise decisions, carry real responsibility, and discover his God-given purpose. You will hear how my dad prepared me for puberty, identity, and independence, why I had to start fighting my own battles, and how those milestones shaped me. Then I walk you through what to do when your son wants to stay at home as an adult, how to set clear expectations, and how to stop enabling him so he can grow into a man who produces more than he consumes.

If you are a dad of a teenage or young adult son, this conversation will give you language, courage, and a practical roadmap. I also share why we created the BraveCo Rite of Passage, a 30-hour weekend where fathers and sons encounter God together, push their limits, and mark the moment a boy is called into manhood. Join us February 28 – March 1, 2026 in Jacksonville, Florida. Get all the details and grab your spot at braveco.org, and do not forget to subscribe, share this episode with another dad, and drop a comment with your biggest takeaway.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org

In this Q&A episode, Lauren and Jason tackle four raw and relatable listener questions that hit at the heart of modern relationships — from rebuilding trust to navigating intimacy, distance, and co-parenting.

In this episode, they discuss:

💔 When words cut deep:

A wife is struggling to heal after learning her husband once fantasized about other women. Though he’s showing empathy and doing the work, she can’t shake the fear of abandonment. Lauren and Jay unpack how to rebuild safety after emotional betrayal and what healing looks like when your partner’s change feels real — but your heart still hurts.

🌍 Long-distance love:

What does it take to make a relationship thrive when you’re miles apart? The Vallottons share their best tips for staying connected across distance — from setting rhythms of communication to keeping emotional intimacy alive (even when FaceTime freezes mid-sentence).

🔥 When sex becomes a struggle:

He thinks more sex will fix the problem; she feels pressured and disconnected. Lauren and Jason explore how couples can move from obligation to connection, and why true intimacy starts with emotional safety, not frequency.

👩‍👦 Co-parenting with disrespect:

A single mom is raising her son alongside a dad who doesn’t treat her with respect. She’s worried about what her son is learning from their dynamic. The Vallottons discuss how to model dignity, set boundaries, and protect your child’s sense of honor — even when the other parent won’t play fair.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
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In this episode, Lauren and Jason sit down to talk about what it really looks like to lead your family well while carrying leadership responsibilities in ministry, business, and life. Whether you’re parenting toddlers or launching teens, this conversation will help you build a home that’s healthy, connected, and grounded in vision.

They share what they learned from blending their family and why the long game of parenting matters so much. Together, the Vallottons unpack the Three C’s that have shaped their own family:

1️⃣ Culture — Build belonging through identity.

Every family has a culture. Are you building yours on purpose? Learn how to establish a shared language that gives your kids identity and belonging. 

2️⃣ Consistency — Play the long game.

Family is formed through repetition, not reaction. Discover how small, faithful rhythms create stability and character over time — even when you can’t see the fruit yet.

3️⃣ Capacity — Lead from health, not hustle.

Your home doesn’t need your title; it needs your presence. Jason and Lauren share how they’ve learned to create space for rest, connection, and emotional honesty so their home stays full of life — not burnout.

Enjoy!

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Connect with Jason:
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Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
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Blending a family isn’t just about making schedules work or learning each other’s habits. It’s about entering into an already-formed culture — one that existed before you. For the stepparent, that often means grieving what you imagined family life would look like, while choosing to restrain yourself from immediately reshaping the environment into “yours.”

In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton talk candidly about:

• Why grief is a normal and healthy part of the step-parenting journey
• The tension between honoring the existing family culture and slowly helping build a new one
• The unspoken expectations that every stepparent carries — and what to do with them
• Why building a new “normal” takes years (Ron Deal says seven, and it often feels true!)
• Encouragement for couples to stay connected in the long process of blending

If you’re in the thick of a blended family dynamic, you are not crazy and you are not alone. Healing, belonging, and love can grow in the middle of the mess — but it takes time, patience, and a lot of grace.

Patreon
If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you!

For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

Connect with Lauren:
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Facebook
Connect with Jason:
Jay’s Instagram
Jay’s Facebook
BraveCo Instagram
www.braveco.org