In this episode of Therapy Works, I sit down with Cressida Bonas for a conversation that feels unusually intimate and quietly brave. We talk about the loss of her older sister Pandora and how saying the word “died” still lands with a kind of shock and finality. Cressida shares what she didn’t expect about grief, the fear that lives in her body, the numb days that feel lonelier than tears, and the strange push pull of wanting to hold on while also wanting the suffering to end. We explore what it was like watching Pandora die in hospital, how her family tried to “be strong” and hide their tears until Pandora asked them not to, and why that shift towards honesty became a lesson in love and connection for all of them.
We also talk about the way Cressida processes through creativity, writing a letter to Pandora in those final days and then finding herself unable to stop writing afterwards, not as memoir but through characters that could hold what felt unbearable. She reflects on motherhood, self doubt, and finding more confidence since having children, alongside the frustration of being put in a box by other people’s assumptions. We end with what Pandora’s death has clarified for her, the preciousness of ordinary moments, the desire to waste less time, and the meaning behind her podcast Lessons From Our Mothers, which grew out of recording her own mother’s story and the wish to understand the women who made us.

Listen to Cressida’s Podcast, Lessons From Our Mothers: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/lessons-from-our-mothers/id1803569581

If Only If create beautifully made nightwear that feels thoughtful, timeless, and deeply comforting at the end of the day. Their pieces are designed to support women through every stage of life and are made from natural fabrics in small batches. If you’d like to explore their collection, you can visit ifonlyif.co.uk and use the code JULIA15 for 15% off. 

More from Therapy Works:

• Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠
• Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges.

If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing — it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠⁠

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In this Agony Aunties episode, Emily and Sophie take the reins while Julia continues her recovery, diving into a thoughtful listener question about accepting children with SEN and learning difficulties as academic parents. Together they explore the often unspoken grief that can arise when parenting looks different from what we imagined, the importance of making space for complex emotions without guilt, and the delicate balance between acceptance and adjustment. The conversation gently unpacks parental expectations, fear of judgment, and how compassion for both yourself and your child can shift the experience, while highlighting the value of support networks, school partnerships, and recognising that a meaningful, fulfilling life is not defined by academic success alone.

• Email your questions: [email protected]

• DM Julia on Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe

If Only If create beautifully made nightwear that feels thoughtful, timeless, and deeply comforting at the end of the day. Their pieces are designed to support women through every stage of life and are made from natural fabrics in small batches. If you’d like to explore their collection, you can visit ifonlyif.co.uk and use the code JULIA15 for 15% off. 

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In this week’s episode of Therapy Works, I’m joined by Charlotte Bellamy, who speaks with extraordinary openness about the death of her son Finn, who was stillborn at 28 weeks. Charlotte takes us through the shock of reduced movements, the devastating moment she was told “there’s no heartbeat”, and the surreal reality that even in loss, you still have to give birth. We talk about the grief of missing the baby you’d imagined, alongside the trauma of what happens medically and physically, and Charlotte shares how her sister, a midwife, supported her and her husband Milo through those first unbearable days and helped them create precious memories with Finn.

We also explore how Charlotte and Milo grieved differently, why therapy and understanding the body’s response to grief helped, and how fear can shape everything that comes after. Charlotte describes the marathon of pregnancy after loss and the practical ways she protected herself, from having someone with her at scans to telling staff upfront what she needed. At the end, Sophie and Emily join me to reflect on the importance of support, naming, and speaking about the baby who has died, because using Finn’s name and remembering him isn’t “bringing it up”, it’s honouring a life that mattered.
If Only If create beautifully made nightwear that feels thoughtful, timeless, and deeply comforting at the end of the day. Their pieces are designed to support women through every stage of life and are made from natural fabrics in small batches. If you’d like to explore their collection, you can visit ifonlyif.co.uk and use the code JULIA15 for 15% off. 

More from Therapy Works:

• Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠
• Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges.

If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing — it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠⁠

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In this Agony Aunties episode, Sophie and Emily return to answer a deeply thoughtful listener question about feeling second best to a partner’s late spouse. Together, they reflect on communication within relationships, the role of the inner critic, and how comparison often reveals the stories we tell ourselves rather than the truth of how we are seen. The conversation offers gentle reframes, practical ways to step out of self-punishing thought loops, and reassurance that entering a family touched by grief isn’t about replacement but about bringing your own, distinct presence into the system.

• Email your questions: [email protected]

• DM Julia on Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe

If Only If create beautifully made nightwear that feels thoughtful, timeless, and deeply comforting at the end of the day. Their pieces are designed to support women through every stage of life and are made from natural fabrics in small batches. If you’d like to explore their collection, you can visit ifonlyif.co.uk and use the code JULIA15 for 15% off. 

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On the first episode of Season 10 of Therapy Works, host Julia Samuel is joined by Dr Alex George for an unusually candid conversation about what happens when your inner world starts to feel like friction you can’t push through. Alex shares that he’s currently being assessed for autism, and reflects on how recent ADHD and OCD diagnoses have helped him make sense of longstanding patterns, from rumination and sensitivity to masking and burnout. Together they explore the difference between “being different” and struggling, how grief and trauma can intensify symptoms, and why understanding yourself is often the first step towards acceptance and peace.

Julia and Alex also talk about the cost of becoming the “fixer” in a family after the sudden death of Alex’s brother, and the cumulative impact of public scrutiny and frontline NHS work during the pandemic. In the reflective discussion afterwards, Julia is joined by Sophie and Emily to unpack the debate around diagnosis, why it triggers such strong reactions, and how the most useful question is whether something is genuinely interfering with your life. It’s a moving, hopeful start to the season about naming what hurts, finding the right support, and building a kinder world by starting with compassion for yourself.

If Only If create beautifully made nightwear that feels thoughtful, timeless, and deeply comforting at the end of the day. Their pieces are designed to support women through every stage of life and are made from natural fabrics in small batches. If you’d like to explore their collection, you can visit ifonlyif.co.uk and use the code JULIA15 for 15% off. 

Find Alex:
Website: https://www.dralexgeorge.co.uk/
Instagram: @dralexgeorge
Buy His New Book "Am I Normal?": https://amzn.eu/d/aoEqbLD
Listen to Stompcast: https://www.dralexgeorge.co.uk/podcast

More from Therapy Works:

• Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠
• Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges.

If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing — it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠

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While Julia recovers from shoulder surgery, Sophie and Emily step in to respond to a painful and familiar dilemma, wanting another child when your partner doesn’t. They explore the emotional deadlock that can arise when a decision feels completely binary, and how the absence of compromise can intensify grief, fear, and resentment on both sides of a relationship.
Together, they reflect on how meaningful listening, really hearing what having or not having a baby represents to each person, can soften polarisation and protect connection, even when there is no easy answer. They talk about guilt, longing, fear of resentment, and the importance of staying emotionally connected through difference. This episode offers compassionate guidance for navigating unbearable uncertainty, honouring grief, and finding ways to continue, with yourself and with each other, when life doesn’t unfold as hoped.

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In this Agony Aunties episode, Julia, Sophie and Emily respond to a brave listener who admits she loves her two adult daughters deeply but often struggles to like them. With one daughter feeling unmotivated and the other frequently hurtful or unpredictable, she asks how to navigate disappointment, set boundaries, and understand what is reasonable to expect from adult children.
Together, they explore the unspoken guilt many parents feel, the shift from parent–child to adult–adult relationships, and how old hurts layer into current dynamics. They offer gentle guidance on letting go of control, maintaining connection, managing expectations and finding compassion for yourself as well as your children. A validating, honest conversation for anyone facing complicated family relationships.

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In this special Agony Aunties episode, we pause our usual listener questions so Julia can share something personal as she prepares for a reverse shoulder replacement after years of complications from Ramsay Hunt syndrome and a serious injury. With Emily and Sophie beside her, she speaks openly about the dread of facing another major operation, the loss of trust in her body, the somatic shock that surfaced when she made the decision, and the uncomfortable confrontation with ageing, vulnerability, and past medical memories. They explore how coping strategies like denial and busyness can feel protective, how therapy can be both helpful and challenging, and how support from others makes an enormous difference even when some parts of the journey are inevitably solitary. It is an honest, tender conversation about fear, resilience, and the deeply human work of accepting help and allowing the body to heal.

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In this expert episode of the Therapy Works podcast, Julia speaks with psychotherapist Oona Metz, author of Unhitched, about her extensive experience supporting women through divorce. Drawing on over 30 years of clinical practice - including 15 years running divorce support groups - Oona also shares insights from her own personal experience of divorce.
Together, they explore the emotional stages of separation, the impact of divorce on children, and the importance of self-care, community and compassion during the process. While acknowledging how painful divorce can be, Oona emphasises that with the right support it can also become a powerful opportunity for growth, healing and new beginnings.
Buy her book: https://www.oonametz.com/book-unhitched
Resources mentioned:


Baroness Fiona Shackleton’s 10 questions to ask before embarking on a serious relationship: https://news-archive.exeter.ac.uk/featurednews/title_672700_en.html

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In this bonus episode of Therapy Works, I’m joined by Professor Marc Brackett, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of Permission to Feel and Dealing With Feeling. We talk about why so many of us grew up without an emotional ally, how fear stops us asking the people we love how they really feel, and why emotions aren’t something to suppress or fix. They are information we need to listen to.
Marc shares a clear, practical framework for emotional regulation, giving ourselves permission to feel, naming emotions, and calming the nervous system, alongside thoughtful ways to navigate family dynamics and become the support we may not have had growing up. It’s a hopeful, grounding conversation about learning emotional skills at any age, and passing them on.

You can buy Marc’s latest book Dealing With Feeling here: https://amzn.eu/d/80YxubS

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self.

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In this episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a deeply moving question from a widowed father facing his first Christmas after the death of his wife. Six months into grief, he is trying to support three adult children while barely holding himself together, worried he’s failing them and watching one daughter take on too much responsibility as the family adjusts to an unfillable absence. With compassion and clarity, Sophie and Emily explore why trying to replace the person who has died can leave everyone exhausted, how grief reshapes family roles, and why acknowledging the presence of absence can be more healing than trying to make things “normal.” They offer gentle, practical guidance on talking openly about grief, supporting adult children who are grieving in different ways, approaching Christmas with flexibility, creating or changing rituals, and drawing in support rather than doing it all alone 0 reminding us that grief isn’t something to solve, but something to be carried together.

Resources:

Grief Works App: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513

Cruse: https://www.cruse.org.uk/

Child Bereavement UK: https://www.childbereavementuk.org/

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self.

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